Is It Just Me? - MINI: Ladybug Part 1 🐕‍🦺

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

More in #146. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Hey, I've got a moral conundrum. I need your two cents on here. Okay. So, if you've been keeping a close eye on my Instagram, you would know that I'm currently in my walking era. I've got you muted, unfortunately, but I can imagine that's fun.

Well, I'm making it known that I'm in my walking era because I really was not getting enough steps in my day. There was one fucking day that I had a low of 49 steps. Mitchell, that's shocking. I know. And I know exactly what happened on that day. I had a big night. I was hungover.

I woke up, walked to the office, edited this podcast on a Sunday, uploaded it, went back to bed. Wow. That was my 49-step day. And I was like, right, okay, I need to fucking up the ante here. I got a notification the other day saying, oh, your average daily steps have risen this month. Fuck off the hat. Well done.

Well done. That's big. But the thing is I've got this weird fucking toxic trait where I hate aimlessly walking. I don't like to just go for a walk for no fucking reason. That's the point of it. But the reason is you're going to better your health. Yeah, but that's not enough for me.

I like to kill two birds with one stone. I'm an efficient honey. So, like, you know how people usually get pissed off when you get a little slip from the post office so you have to go pick it up. I'm like, perfect. An excuse to walk. That's two Ks both ways. Oh, so you need something to do.

Yes. I need to be walking for a reason. Otherwise, it feels like a waste of time, which I know is a stupid way of thinking about it, but whatever. What about if you aim to finish a podcast? Well, sometimes podcasts are getting shorter and shorter these days, Jen. They really are. And also, what happens is I'll hit play on the podcast in the house, and then I'll start

procrastinating, and then the podcast is nearly finished, and I'm like, I haven't even started the walk yet. I do the same thing. I take phone calls when I walk. I prefer to chat to people. Yeah, I do. I call my family, call you, Mitchell, when I'm walking. Have I ever gotten a walking call from you?

Yeah, you have. If I'm out of breath and sound like I'm about to die, then yeah. But one of my friends came up with a suggestion because I don't like to walk for no reason. They said, why did you become a dog walker? Oh, no. And I was like, fucking bingo. I love that because not only do I need a reason to walk, but I also need accountability.

And you're getting paid. True. Well, I wouldn't even fucking charge. I don't mind. Oh, I volunteer. I just want to be able to have a reason to leave and also someone's expecting me there at a certain time on a certain day so I have to actually go.

I can't bitch it. Yeah. Because, yeah, why do you think I'm going to Pilates classes? Because I have a time and a place to be there. But you hate dogs. You're a cat guy. I'm actually not. I was always a dog person.

The reason I didn't get a dog was because I was working here and didn't have time to walk it. Okay, fair, fair. But now that I'm a lady of leisure, essentially, I've got time to walk dogs. What, so you're going to put a little tear off on a post-it note around town? Well, I actually signed up to, I don't know, it's sort of like a dog walking marketplace. It's an app. Why does this exist?

What's it called? What is it called, actually? It's called, not sponsored. Walk and Wolf. No, it's called Paw Shake. Paw Shake. Oh, that's funny. That's a very funny name.

And so this was months ago. I set up my Paw Shake profile. I got chat GPT to write a description for my thing. It's like, I'm a passionate enthusiastic dog walker, blah, blah, blah. Fucking mad about dogs. My tail is wagging at the thought of walking your beloved. Wouldn't have said tail

wagging, Jesus. What's my tail? Oh, stop it. But anyway, this was months ago that I signed up to be a dog walker and I honestly fucking forgot. Right. This week, I got my first inquiry. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Congratulations. I got my first customer. But this is where the moral dilemma comes in. Oh, you fucked them? No. Oh, sorry. I don't know.

No. So they've inquired about me walking their gorgeous little dog named Ladybug. Okay. Do you have a dog named Ladybug. Okay. Do you have a photo of Ladybug? I'm trying to find it, but I think poor Shake might be fucking glitching at the moment because it keeps saying 404 thing not found. I did have a photo of Ladybug. I'd love to show you.

That's right. One of those little fucking black. Maltese things. No, no. Like a, what do you call it? Fuck. A little black French bulldog. Okay.

And so they are going away for three weeks and there's a few days a week that their partner isn't home. So they want me to do Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Okay. Right. For three weeks. And so they want me to do it and I really want to do it. However, here's the fucking problem.

Right. Two of the days I'm going to be in fucking Uluru. Oh. Oh. That's random. Right. Tomorrow I'm doing my meet and greet with Ladybug to make sure I'm a good fit. Uh-huh.

Mm-hmm. Do I or do I not flag that I'm actually not available? Oh, no. Because I really want to do it. I'm so excited. You can't get AI to help you with this one. AI can't walk the fucking dog. You need to be honest.

You have to tell them that you can't, you're in Uluru, unless you want to take Ding fucking Beetle with you there and walk him around the red dot. Otherwise, no. Oh, but I really want to do it. And I'm like, if this person's away for three weeks, how would they even know if I don't turn up and walk it? That's the moral dilemma. Okay.

I was thinking, just tell them no, but I get it. You're thinking of lying. Because I really want to walk this fucking dog. I'm so excited. How many days would you not be able to walk it? I think they're asking me to walk it three times a week for three weeks, so that's nine. So two out of

nine. Oh, I think that's fine. The dog can have a rest. But I can't just leave the dog unattended. No, you can't. I would have to give the key to a friend or something. Wait, are you also feeding this dog every day and night? We haven't nutted out the details yet. I have my meet and greet tomorrow. So if you're only working it twice a week or three times a week,

someone else must be coming to feed it every other day because you've got to feed a dog day and morning and night. Yeah, the partner. So it's a couple. One of them's going away for three weeks. The other one is kind of in and out of the house, sometimes there, sometimes not. And so the days that poor little ladybug is home alone,

that's when they've enlisted Mitchell, the darling dog walker, from pawshake.com.au to come in and pick up the slack. But I don't want them to hire someone else. If I tell them I can't do these days, they might hire someone else. Mitchell, there's plenty of dogs in there. And I'll have all nine shifts ripped out of my hand. Shifts? You sound like a 15-year-old about to work at McDonald's.

No, say no. You don't want to be involved in the death of a dog. Why would it die? You just don't know. Eye catastrophes everything. So what if poor little gumdrop got hit by a vase or something when you weren't home, but you were meant to find her the next day, but you didn't because you're in the red centre? But I wouldn't leave the dog there without anyone checking in.

But would you get somebody else you know? Is that an option? I don't know. Either I'm honest and I tell them there's two days I can't do here and I risk them pulling out altogether and going with someone else. Or I say, sure, I'll be there. Mitchell. I'll be there.

But then I just give their house keys to another friend so they can go look after Ladybug. Are you angling that you want me to go and fill in for your two days and look after Ladybug? I was hoping you'd offer. I think that's a great idea. What are the dates? Monday and Tuesday, the 5th and 6th of June.

Perfect. Any time between 11 a.m. and 4 p.m., just half an hour. Amazing. Oh, I actually can't. I can't Monday. I could can't. I can't Monday. I could Tuesday. But I can't Monday. That might be too confusing for poor little ladybug.

There's multiple new faces in the house. She would love me. I do smell of beef brisket. So she'd really enjoy my appearance. But then that would confuse her. If I'm coming in, then you're coming in, then the third gay man's coming in too much. I'm really confused now because the Paw Shake app seems to be working, but my message history is gone.

Uh-oh. Oh my God, they've blocked you. I'm not kidding. Oh my God, they've blocked you. I checked this half an hour ago because I wanted the photo up on my phone to show you what Ladybug looks like, and now I don't have any message history. Have you been ghosted by Ladybug? Mitch has been ghosted.

Oh no. Oh Mitch. It better be a glitch? Mitch has been ghosted. Oh, no. Oh, Mitch. It better be a glitch. I'll be very upset. This is devastating. I'm really sorry. He's been broken up. Wait.

He's been broken up with. Not necessarily. Not necessarily, no, but all are. But more likely, yes. Look, when I click view message in my email, they let me know when I've got a new message. Of course they do. They said, are you able to do a meet and greet this week?

And I said, sure, Friday. When I click that, 404 page cannot be found. Is it glitchy? Oh, no. Or have I been ditched? You've been ditched. Mitchell, I think you've been ditched. Is there a phone app you can check?

I'm trying that too. Oh, then you've been ditched. I'm shattered. Hold on. Maybe Ladybug has passed and they've pulled the listing. I'm shattered. Hold on. Maybe Ladybug has passed and they've pulled the listing. That's possible. But wait, look, on the phone app, the message just doesn't work. Neither does anything else.

So maybe it is just to fuck up with the website. I could still be in the running to be Ladybug's part-time babysitter. I can't imagine Poor Shake's getting enough foot traffic to have an on-demand tech team. Poor traffic. Poor traffic. Apologies. Yes, you're right. Poor traffic.

I love watching the cogs in your brain turn to send like, what? Oh. Yeah, I didn't get it. Then I did get it. All right. Well, I'm not helping you, but I don't think you'll need help because I think you've been fired. Yeah. Apologies there.

Yeah, sorry about that. Moral conundrum fixed. Yeah. At least you have an answer. Yeah. You've got your answer. Yeah, sorry about that. Moral conundrum fixed. Yeah. At least you have an answer. Yeah. You've got your answer. But that was my first inquiry in months. That says something about your profile.

We need to give it some work. If that's your first bite in months, what are you doing wrong? You were just the one accusing poor shake of not having that much foot traffic. Poor traffic. Poor traffic. Thank you. Oh, no. Well, how else am I supposed to advertise that I want to walk people's dogs?

Print out a piece of paper, you cut little things at the bottom, and then you put it on a flagpole. Or a community board. I don't want to give out my fucking mobile number. All right. If you are in the Sydney metropolitan area and you need your dog walked, and that's not a euphemism, woof, woof, Mitch will do it for you, but not in the dates that he is in the red centre because he's busy. There you go.

Transparency open. I reckon you'll get bookings, Mitchell. All you need to do is send us a text. To what number? 0412 712 092. That's right. Also, if you've got any other animals, Mitchell will walk them. You can walk a rabbit these days.

Yeah, I do that. I've had experience with guinea pig handling. I can walk a guinea pig. Yeah, he hosts this show with me every week, so he can handle a rodent. Yeah, you got the pig bit right. All right, well, good luck, Mitchell. Keep us up to date with your newfound venture. Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you hit follow on your podcast app.