Is It Just Me? - TALKBACK TINGZ: Falling Asleep On Air 📻

Episode Date: October 31, 2022

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Yep, so Talkback Tings is where we play the weird shit that occurs on Talkback Radio because it's a fucking cesspool, isn't it? Yeah, it is never-ending. You get some weird characters calling through. It's a content machine, also from the hosts and from the listeners. The hosts, because you think about it, these poor fuckers have to fill so much time. Yeah, there's no songs, very few ad breaks often, especially at ABC. But yeah, that's why they get so many odd characters calling through.

And often when it's a really popular talkback radio station, you could be on hold for ages. Like we have called talkback radio stations in this segment and we don't have to wait too long because we pick on the underdogs. We go for the less popular stations so that we don't have to wait too long. But the really popular stations, you could be on hold for quite a while because there's, believe it or not, lots of people calling through. Yeah. And over on 3AW, apparently one man was on hold so long that he just fell asleep. What?

And so by the time they took his call, this is what they heard. John calls from South Australia. G'day, John. Oh, no. John's been hanging on It's been a good 20 odd minutes or so And he's fallen asleep We had the passing parade and the news and a break and another call Oh yeah, that's a big snore

I wonder if John's married Because i snore a bit like this actually i fell asleep in the office yesterday afternoon like i've got a door that shuts and i'm just a little on the tired side so i just lean back on the chair it's still snoring I lean back on the chair and put my feet up on the desk and I just close my eyes. I just get a little five minute power nap and then I wake myself up with a snore.

Oh, you there, John? Yeah, mate. Yeah, g'day, mate. How are you? Not too bad, thanks. Sorry, I was just sitting there tripping off on one of the roofs. No, that's all right. It happens at this time of the morning.

Not a problem. I love that he stuck with it. Didn't move on to any other call. It's just stuck with the snoring. Poor thing. So he was a snoring on the line for a total of 60 seconds. That's a long time before he finally went. Now, what do we think the setup was?

I was trying to picture that. Was the phone on his neck, on his lap, or was he in a Bluetooth head thing? I don't know. Maybe it was like a home phone and he just kind of had it tucked between his cheek and his shoulder. That's what I'm imagining. Sitting in his lazy boy. Why was he querying whether or not he had a partner? I don't know.

I think that was like heterosexual humor. Like, oh, my wife boils me to sleep. I wonder if he's married. I snore like that. Yeah, right, right. I wonder if he's married. I snore like that. Yeah, right, right. I wonder if he's married. Won't be for long. 3-A-W.

And so I was thinking that we should try and beat that 60 seconds. Yeah. We call a radio station and snore on the line, see how long it takes them to hang up. Similar to coughing fit chicken. Yeah. I think coughing fit chicken, but snoring fit chicken. Well, that's literally perfect for me.

Coughing fit chicken, we had to stop for medical reasons because I was coughing up my laugh. No, you literally just have a nap. No, I just sleep that's literally perfect for me. Coughing fit chicken, we had to stop for medical reasons because I was coughing up my laugh. No, you literally just have a nap. No, I just sleep. It's perfect for me. Should we call a radio station? Well, I don't know, because I was thinking that not a lot of radio stations would stick with that call.

If we're trying to beat the record, most radio stations would be like, okay, they're not there, and then move on. So maybe we should call someone else. Yeah. And also, it's quite handy that you're feeling fucked in the head today because that will lend itself quite nicely to your character, Dot Wiggins. It will. She is senile at the best of times.

She is. Yeah, and that's perfect for your current state. She's here. She is here. Bring in Dot. Dot. Come on in, Dot. The 90-year-old alter ego of Mitch's.

Come on in. Come on in, Dot. Oh, don't spill the lemonade. Dot, she spilled her Schweppes. Don't. The Schweppes? Yes. She's diabetic.

She can't have it. Hello. Hello. Oh, God. She's. Hi, Dot. Hello. Yes.

We're going to get you to make a phone call. And are you feeling a bit tired? Because you can just nod off if you want. Yes. Oh. What time is it? Yes. My afternoon nap is right around the corner.

Yeah. We haven't decided who we're going to call on your behalf, though, Dot. Mitchell, Cheery, come back. Yeah, hi. Who should we call instead of a radio station? What about our mate at TVSN? We called her a couple of weeks ago. We've done that.

I feel like our number would be blocked. What if we were to call a sleep apnea clinic? Oh, because they'd have so much empathy. Of course. They're used to it. In fact, this is probably a daily occurrence for a sleep apnea clinic. That'll definitely beat the 60 seconds. Okay.

Or a sleep centre or a sleep study. I've had a sleep study done. They're very nice. Do we want Peninsula Sleep Clinic or Sydney Sleep Centre? What do you think, Dot? I think Sydney Sleep Centre. Yes. Yeah, right.

We'll give them a whirl. You want us to call number one? No, I've pissed myself off. Shit. Okay, it? Yeah, right. We'll give them a whirl. You want us to call number one? No, I've pissed myself. Shit. Okay, into the mic, Dot. Now, do you think she should talk first or Dot should... Yes, she should talk for a bit and then at some stage just doze off.

Jenna, can you get your stopwatch ready and just once the snoring starts, see if we can beat the 60 seconds. So I'm just going to, once Dot starts, she should continue snoring until she gets hung up on. Or should she wake up? Correct.

That's right. Sorry, I'm just practicing again. Okay, here we go. Let's give this a whirl. Come up here. Is this one? Yes. Good luck.

Sydney Sleep Centre, Anabomi speaking. Hello, Anabelle May speaking. Hello, Abomany? I'm sorry? Your name. Hello, Abomany speaking. Oh, Annabelle. I'm so sorry, dear.

I heard Abomany or Abomination. Sometimes. No. Oh, no. My name is Josh Wiggins. My GP has referred me to book in for an examination, a sleep examination. Sure, not a problem. Did they give you a referral? Yes, I'll have to check. Let me just check my... I'll just check my note. One second.

Mm-hmm. Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. Tuckney, I believe you could drop it off in any pathology. Thank you. Was there a... Yeah, exactly. Was there a facility that she referred you to or was it just a generic letter she gave you? Okay, not a problem. Yeah, drop it off at any pathology company with the letter and that should be totally fine. Okay, no worries. Have a great day.

Are you there? What? Sorry. Oh, sorry, Abomination. Are you there? I am indeed. Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't have the referral. I'm going to have to buzz you back, darling. All right. So if you contact your doctor and get the referral, all they need to do is email it to us, and then we can make you a booking. So the doctor needs to recite the referral before you can make you an appointment. All right. Thank you. Thank you, darling.

Okay, beautiful. Thanks. all right. Thank you. Thank you, darling. Okay, beautiful. Thanks. All right, dada. Oh, dear. She was too sweet. I couldn't. She was so nice. Did you hear her mutter under her breath?

Fuck. Did she? Yes. Okay, so. How long did I go? A minute, 47 seconds. Yeah, you definitely beat the 60 seconds. Where's the fucking Winnetown effect over here?

Come on. Give me some. Oh, that's a yoga bed. Oh, no, Mitchell. It seconds. Where's the fucking winner sound effect over here? Come on, give me some. Oh, that's a yoga bed. Oh, no, Mitchell. It's a green one. It should be green. Anything excitable is green. Elevator music is green. Yeah, it's my favourite.

Yay! I love this one. That's not a fucking winner sound effect. What else do I have? I can't find a bloody winner sound effect. Not a life hunt. No, no, I won't move on until I've found one. I'll just type in W-I-N-N-E-R.

Yeah. Bit out of practice. Sorry about this. No, you're totally right. No, it's all good. I actually need to get her details. I do need a sleep study, don't I? On top of everything.

Yeah. Have you had a sleep study before? No. Someone watches you sleep the whole night with probes on. Oh, I couldn't do that. Yeah. I couldn't get to sleep. And then they think I've got real issues.

No, they're in a... It's like a two-way glass thing. You can't watch that. Hang on, shut up. Jenna, tell me the time again. How did I do? One minute, 47 seconds. Oh, we beat the record. That's when we give out cars.

Close enough. Very dubstep, isn't it? Also, is Dot still in here? No, she's still asleep on the floor. Turn the volume down. Shit. Oh, no. Hey, Dot.

Must change my wheels. Get out. Oh, she's dropped her sweats. Get out, Dot. We're ending the show. All right. See you, Dot. Bye, Dot.

Thanks for coming. Is it just me? Get out, Dot. We're ending the show. All right. See you, Dot. Bye, Dot. Thanks for coming. Bye. Bye-bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches.