Is It Just Me? - TALKBACK TINGZ: #FreeBritney Poetry inspired by John Laws 📻

Episode Date: July 4, 2021

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I put the radio on. So Talkback Tings is where we play the weird shit that happens on Talkback Radio. It's such a unique cooked world of its own, isn't it, Talkback Radio? Oh my God, it is. And coming from FM radio, tight, bright, no dead air. You move on. You don't really have conversations unless that's the point of the whole segment. But Talkback, now they've got to fill endless amounts of air.

Well, I heard something during the six-hour drive back home to Bogengate where I am right now. They've got to feel endless amounts of hair. Well, I heard something during the six-hour drive back home to Bogengate where I am right now, and I thought, oh, that's very out there. That's odd. But I'm thinking, Mitch, you can implement it into your FM radio world. So John Laws, right? Yeah, the king. We've heard from him quite a few times in this segment. He was taking a call from someone, and halfway halfway through he sort of just broke into song.

What? But he wasn't singing. It was more like poetry, right? It sounds weird, but give it a listen. I really think, Mitch, you should take this on board. No, I don't think I need it. I think this is a good idea. I think my show is just fine.

But all right, we have the audio. This is John Laws on AM Radio. 1-300-564-652 should you like to give us a call and tell us what sorry that fucking number simplify it it's like 1-300 john laws it spells his name their listeners already have damaged frontal lobes like don't make them have to ours is 13-1065 easy 141 pretty, you know when you used to text on a Nokia and the letters and numbers would be there. I'm pretty sure 1300, whatever it is, that spells

1300 John Laws. Oh my god! Like 13WSFM. Oh, that's actually smart. So they catered for that back in the day when that was really cool. But he doesn't say that. He says the number in full. 1300 56465. His listeners can barely remember to take their blood pressure medication, let alone that number. Alright, here we go.

Continuing the audio. It is on your mind. We better talk to Ross. Ross, are you there? Yeah, mate. Speaking. Okay, what do you want to talk about, Ross? Oh, yeah, just I had a bit of a culture shock myself the other day. I drive a truck up and down the coast and Queensland coast and out as far as Mount Isa, and I was getting ready to climb into my truck and my gear bag was missing.

Five minutes on the front steps. And I come from a country town where you went down the pub and you left your wallet and your money on the bar when you went to the toilet. Yeah, nobody touched a thing. Yeah. Well, God knows what's happened to that lovely attitude we used to have in little towns where you could do anything you like. You've just got to be so careful these days because the world has become a much more violent place, a much more dishonest place than it used to be.

What? Yeah. And, you know, everyone looked after everyone else. That's right. Everyone looked after everyone else. Now it makes you really paranoid about people, you know? I remember a story I did about little towns. I might read that for you.

Oh, no. Yep, yep. Okay, Ross, turn your radio on and listen because it's a good story about little towns. Are you ready? What? Where did he get a guitar from? Let's just think about the magic of the little town.

A little town is where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, but they read the weekly newspaper just to see who got caught doing it. A little town is where if you get the wrong number, you can talk for 15 minutes anywhere, if you want to. In any town, the ratio of good people to bad people is 100 to 1. Where did you get that statistic from? In a town, the 100 are uncomfortable. In a little town, the hundred are uncomfortable. In a little town, the one is uncomfortable.

The small town policeman has a first name. The small town school teacher has the last word. The small town preacher is sometimes a full-time farmer. The small town fireman takes turns. farmer. The small town fireman takes turns. And you say, why would anybody want to live in one of

these tiny, blink-and-you-miss-it towns? I don't know. Maybe because in the class play, there's a part for everybody. What? In the town jail, there's rarely anybody. And in the town cemetery.

You're still among friends. Oh, my. Mitchell, what did you think when you heard that? What? Why? Well, I mean, I'll be honest. I did think, what the fuck is going on? Where did this come from?

And I also did think, oh, he's clearly not reading that live. His voice sounds way younger. Yeah, that was in the mid-80s at least. The phlegm wasn't on his throat as well at that point in time. But then I thought, this is John Laws we're talking about. He has been in radio for 400 years. And so there must be some key to his longevity. And I feel that that might be the fact that he really thinks

outside the box. So, Mitchell, I think you should take inspiration from his poetry. I was quite inspired. And what, start some poetry on the night show or the national breakfast show that I'm doing? No. Precisely. That's what I'm thinking.

You've got this new fancy radio gig you're doing, Breakfast Hours at the moment, and I was thinking you should call your boss and find some gentle guitar music similar to what John Laws has. With a pan flute. Yeah, pan flute. And then just say to him, hey, man, I've got this idea. Can you let me know what you think of this? And then wing it.

Just improvise something similar to that. Hold on. Wait a second. I don't want to implement this in my show. I've got enough content. I'm more than a crosshead. Hey, if it's good enough for the great John Laws, it's good enough for you, Bucko.

Exactly. You can learn a thing or two from him. I feel like poetry could be your thing. I found some music. This is perfect. This is lovely. Sounds like something from Banjo-Kazooie. Okay, so call your boss, DB.

No, I'm going to call my producer. I'm going to call my producer, Alex. Alex? Yeah, Alex is my producer for the winter breakfast show that I'm doing. Oh, wait. Is that the same intern Alex that we had on this podcast? We brought her in to oust Jenna. Oh, my God.

Yes, we did. And then we offered her a role on this podcast as a producer and then she ghosted it. Oh, my God. She fucking did the bitch. Never came back. Never. We did a welfare check and we just presumed she was dead.

Oh, my God. I thought she was. So she's back from the dead working on your radio show, is she? Yeah, she got the call up. She's my head producer. She's alive? Yeah. Wow.

I can't believe she faked her own death just to get out of working on this podcast. That's unbelievable. That's something I would do. You should imagine myself when I got a call from a number. I thought, it's in Portugal. Yes. Anyway, so maybe call Alex then, your producer, and just say, oh, God, this is actually better because she'll be really polite.

She won't have the heart to tell you that it's fucking stupid. Yes. Be like, hey, babe, I'm thinking outside the box. I want to bring something fresh to the radio show next week. What do you think of it? And then what do you want your poem to be about? Or maybe ask her. Now what's my poem to be? And I'm going to have to have

an idea for a poem. What about Princess Diana's mural? Nah, you do better when you're improvising. Maybe ask her to give you a random topic. Yeah, okay. Oh, good, yeah. I'm going to dial her through. I'm going to connect my phone so she knows it's me. Fucking hell.

Can I hear the music again? Yeah. I've got options. There's Gentle Guitar No. 3, which you've heard. Okay. This sounds like the final ballad of the Titanic as it's sunk into the North Pacific. It does.

Yeah, that one's too emo. It needs to be a bit inspiring. Yeah, yeah. I know. This one sounds like New Poets Panty Line. It's by Libra. It does. Yeah, it does.

I like the buttress. I choose soy milk because I don't want calcium intake from regular milk. That's why I drink so good. All right, now I like three. This is it. This is it. Okay, that's it. All right, I'm going to call her.

But I'm going to get her opinion on which. Hello, Ali speaking. It's me, you nut. What? Are you on speakerphone? Rule number one, like I taught you. I'm driving you, Pef. Oh, I had an idea for the show.

Talk to me. I'm thinking, you know how we have Tom Gleisner from Have You Been Paying Attention Monday? Yeah. I'm thinking on Tuesday, just to tie into that comedy aspect and the fun, we should do, like I should do poetry on the air. Okay. do like i should do poetry on the air okay like live poetry live lyrics about a topic that's current okay cool fun it'd be like yeah like a like a slam poetry kind of thing yeah not not even slam like inspiring like i want to inspire like people, like kids listening.

What's topical? What's happening at the Mo in like culture? Well, I mean, you could, you know, kind of do something inspiring in terms of Britney, you know. Britney Spears. Be yourself, own your own shit, don't let people control you. Oh my God, Britney Spears could be good. I'd just like get some music out and I'd... Like, I'd sing to music like this.

It'd be like... We knew you from a girl. Young, tight and cute. But now look at you, like an old haggard boot. Free Britney. Let her out of that cage. Poor, poor Britney. It makes me filled with rage.

Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Her father doing this. I despise Something like that You know like a poem A current Yeah

Okay fun Yeah that could work Well what else is topical Well I mean royals are always topical Royals Yeah yeah yeah yeah You shouldn't have got in that taxi cab Topical. Royals. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You shouldn't have got in that taxi cab.

I'll die. Why did you have to die? You would have been 60 today. It's the 60th anniversary of her life. There was a statue made for Diana. It was built from concrete and lime. Concrete and lime. Her beautiful sons attended. Tension was at an all-time high.

was at an all-time high. No sign of Queen Lizzie. No sign of Charles. Philip wasn't there. I guess he probably couldn't because Philip died. Just like die. Oh, Princess died. Yeah, see, I think there's something in die too.

I love it. All right, well, we can talk Monday and then we'll send it to management because I reckon that's good to send to DB and the bosses. Yeah, I love that. Okay, fabulous. All right, thanks, Alex. I'll talk to you over the weekend. Love you. Love you.

See you. Thanks for the tips. Bye. Oh, my God. Wow, that didn't even feel like a prank call. That felt like a genuine fucking brainstorm. And you know what? I'm sold.

I loved it. I actually might run that audio on Monday morning. That was inspirational. Oh, my my god that was actually quite impressive you know what maybe save it for when you're back doing nights radio because i believe you don't have a news reader right yeah i have no news reader that could be your way of keeping people involved you just sing the news at them. Imagine Sandra Sully doing that. Oh, my God. Twelve dead in a car crash on the Hume Highway this morning. Do you know what the most impressive part was? What, what, what, what?

The fact that John Laws' poem wasn't actually rhyming. I don't know if you realise that, but you managed to make yours rhyme, even though you didn't need to. Guys, I've been to fucking theatre school. I studied improv. If there's one thing in life I can do, I will never be a builder, never be a salesman. If there's one thing I can do, it's fucking rhyme on a song.

I don't know where that is ever going to come in handy, but you know what? I've got it. Yeah, you've found your niche and you need to go for it. I think this is your new thing. I mean, I'm saying this now, like, oh, you should definitely start doing this on radio or on our podcast, but I think if one week you came in and said, I have another poem, we'd be like, oh, the moment's passed. We're just caught up in the moment now.

Is it just me? You should follow these idiots online. Search Couple of Mitches.