Is It Just Me? - TALKBACK TINGZ: India! 📻

Episode Date: February 16, 2020

More in FULL EP15See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I put the radio on. Talkback Tings is where I bring the little bits of gold that I find when listening to Talkback. Because you work in FM radio, you very much suck in your own little bubble. I am, and I have to say, for those of you who are listening, we have a lot of overseas listeners, which I just discovered. FM and AM radio, the two waves, the two wave bands we have. FM is where you have the pop music and the shows, and AM is Talkback. Very little music, very right wing,

right leaning. Typically a lot older people listen to talkback, but there's plenty of people that are disinterested in news and current affairs that are young that listen, but predominantly I think that's like, would you say 40 plus is who they have in mind when they're doing talkback? Yeah, 50, 60 plus.

But the thing is, there's so many more shows and stations on AM that there's just more room for crazy. They have to talk all the time. Yeah, I have to feel a talk break about Louis Tomlinson for a minute and I freak out. They talk for an hour on coal seam gas. And a lot of them have a live stream camera streaming them. Do they?

Yes, on their sites. I'm pretty sure 2GB does. Oh, bless them. They wouldn't even know what that means. Oh, I didn't even know that. It's constantly on. There is seemingly a red blinking dot in the room. What is that?

I didn't approve. I didn't approve. Today we're not listening to John Laws. We're listening to the guy that does the night show on the same station, 2SM. So I'm competing with him. Well, yeah, he's technically your rival at night time. So his name's Graham Gilbert. And as Wikipedia very generously phrases it, it says,

in 2002, Gilbert's night time show on 2SM scored a rating of 0.1 in Sydney, the lowest rating ever recorded for a commercial program in Metro Market in Australia. 2SM subsequently withdrew from the Sydney radio ratings. So now they don't really have any way of knowing how many people do or don't listen. But he does get callers. He does get a lot of callers. I'll tell you that.

But unfortunately, most of those callers, calling you to Graham Gilbert, are prank callers. I don't know why. He's just become a target for prank callers. I've it before i'm not gonna lie oh yeah yeah it's just so easy he's such an easy target he's had a lot of them over the years most famously i would say would be the india prank call this is so funny i can't explain you've heard it yeah i've heard this have you jenna no okay so i've got a quick example for you just to hear that. So basically people call in and troll him by answering every question he asks in his quiz with the answer India. Here it is.

Question one. Which Australian gymnast won Commonwealth Games gold in 1990 and again in 1994 for his performance on the pommel horse. Step in the dark, India. No, I didn't think you were that dumb. I didn't think you were that dumb, Lincoln, but clearly I was wrong. Hello, Thomas. G'day, Graeme. Yeah, mate.

Got these bloody idiots calling up again. But you'll have the answer. What do you think it might be? India. Yeah. Thomas, it's bedtime now. Off you go. Okay? Off you go. 131269. Thomas, it's bedtime now. Off you go. Okay?

Off you go. 131269. Hello there, Marcus. Yes, good evening. Yes, mate. Have you got an answer for us? India. Yeah, Marcus.

Grow up. Yeah, grow up. Good on you. Oh, boy. Is it going to be one of those nights? Robert, good evening. Hello, Graeme. How are you? Not too bad, mate.

Sorry, after all that nonsense, could you repeat the question, please? Yeah, the question is, mate, which Australian gymnast won Commonwealth Games gold in 1990 and again in 1994 for his performance on the pommel horse? Oh, get my megaphone. It wasn't even clever, mate. Not even clever. Hello, Eve. Hi, Graham.

Yes, who do you think it was? India. Eve, don't fall for their silly games, okay? You're much too nice to fall for their silly games. Oh, my God. I love how he says, oh, another one of those nights. This must happen a lot. Also, what the fuck is a pommel horse?

I have no idea. I don't think anyone actually knew the answer. Poor Eve just, like, couldn't do it either. I know. But who are these people? I've done so much research. I cannot find out how the India call started. I know.

I have no idea. Like, I don't know if they're still happening, but they've happened plenty of times. It's all over YouTube. But obviously he's aware of those prank callers. Often he just plays music because he gives up trying to do talk back. But some prank calls do slip through the cracks and he doesn't realise that they're a prank caller. I think I know what you mean.

So this one that I'm about to play, someone called through and rather than talking to him, they just recited the lyrics to the Family Guy theme song. I've given you the theme song over there. May I just play it? It seems today that all you see is violence in movies. You know it. Classic. But where are those good old-fashioned values?

And so someone called through with those lyrics to see if he would notice. Here's how it went. Talk Tonight on 131269. Hello, Brian. Good evening, Graeme. How are you? Yes, good, thanks. Mate, it seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV. Right.

Where are the good old-fashioned values on which we used to rely? Well, that's a good point, isn't it? And it's interesting. They've done a couple of surveys of late, and people are not going to movies as much as they used to, and the reason they give is because of the unnecessary language, the unnecessary sexual scenes. And you're right.

People are simply wanting to go back to movies where the whole family can go and it can be wholesome. Well, lucky there's the family guy. Yeah. You know? OK. Thank you very much. OK, good on you, mate.

I thought he had more to say. 13, 12, 69. Talk tonight. The best part of you is an old-fashioned values on which we used to lie. Couldn't agree more. The movies, the boobies, and the vaginas. It's awful. I know, right?

He bought right into it. And he took the bait. He had no idea. And so the challenge is, because Graham Gilbert is so hyper aware of prank callers, is to try and slip through the cracks. So what you just heard, Mitch, I bet you're wondering why I asked to push back the recording time this week to a bit later at night. My actual night show starts very soon.

Yes, I know. And Jenna, you've missed Zumba for this. I know. And Pump Class. He's on seven till midnight, so there's like a two-hour window and we are currently in that window. So I was thinking. Oh, do you want us to call in?

I want you to call and, like that person did, recite some lyrics that sound like a conversation and see if he notices. So 13 12 69 is the number. Get it ready. Oh, I don't think I can. You knew this was coming though. Like I, you act so like, oh, you're going to make me do this. But like every time we do talk back things, I always tend to make you do something.

I'm like, what have you learnt from me, Mitchell? You do something off the back of it. Okay, if you give me the lyrics, I'll do it. Well, a couple of the ones that I thought of were Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus. Here's the lyrics. Okay, thank you. Here you go.

Oh, yeah. So just say hello. Ready? G'day, mate. Oh, Graham, I hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and my cardigan. Welcome to the land of fame excess. Oh, am I going to fit in?

No, see, the rhyming is too obvious, isn't it? It's hard. Yeah, you can't do that. So then I jumped in a cab, Graeme. Here I am for the first time. No, you're right. I can't do that. The other one, another one I came up with was All Star by Smash Mouth.

Oh, yeah. Do you want to try? So, you know that song from Shrek, Jenna? Yes. Yeah. So, talk tonight, Graeme Gilbert. Good evening. Oh, Graeme.

Yeah, somebody once told me the world is going to roll me. Hey, Graeme, on the first tour, I ate the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of damn right with her finger and her thumb. I reckon that one's okay that one's better than party in the usa it's the rhymes though the rhymes throw us off yeah do you reckon jenna let's go with that one can you think of any others no that one's the best yeah it's better than party in the usa anyway no i've got it i've got one oh i don't want to tell you what it is but i've got one what is it i don't want to tell you what it is but i like to i don't want to tell you what it is. But I like to also... I don't want you to know. Oh, God.

Is he going to put me on hold? We're like 3,000 staff over a long period of time. Talk tonight. Your name, please? Vern. You're on air, Vern. What did you want to say, mate? I just wanted to talk about Ancestry.com and genealogy. Yeah, very quickly.

Graeme, you wouldn't believe it, but I just took a DNA test and it turns out I'm 100% that bitch. Yeah, that sounds right, Vern. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He didn't take the bait at all. He hated it. What a Vern.

I don't know where it came from. Wait, which song was that again? I can't remember what it's called. Oh, let, what was, wait, which song was that again? I can't remember what it's called. Oh, let me get it up. Lizzo, Truth Hurts. Yeah, that's right. It's a Lizzo lyric, classic. Your friend that you caught up with last week.

Yeah, my BFF, Miss Lizzo. You can only play five seconds. That's around five seconds. Go on. One man great, so they're going to be free. I like that. Okay. I just took a DNA test.

Turns out I'm 100%. There you the Ancestry.com. Yeah. Oh, mate, I've just been on Ancestry. That's how one of his old fart callers would start. Oh, you wouldn't believe it. I found the internet. No, I love how I said Ancestry.com. Yeah, keep it quick.

He didn't have time for Burns bullshit. Jenna, do you have flashback on there?estry.com. Yeah, keep it quick. He didn't have time for Burns bullshit. Jenna, do you have flashback on there? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Can you go and find 2SM and then just like scroll to what just happened and send it to me? I want to know what he said after because I reckon he would have like slagged you off

a bit more. What did he say just then? He said, oh my God, what did he say? Yeah. And I don't remember. I'm just asking the wrong person again. Can we just talk about the fact that that was way too easy to get on air? He didn't even vet me.

Like normally when someone rings my show, I go, hi, it's Kiss Nights. What do you want to talk about? What's your name? Get their name and if they're shit, I get rid of them. Or if they want to talk about something stupid, I don't put them on. But I never go straight to air with someone, ever. No, and like if you call a talkback station, which is different to Kiss, they still go through the basic

what's your name and what do you want to talk about. Off speakerphone, everything. They usually get your suburb too, like, oh, James from Croydon. That was weird that he put you straight on. He just put you on air and says what's your name. He's just asking for it. I was going to say, he's asking to be basic. Oh, my God, I can't believe that just happened.

We were in and out so quick. It's over before it even started. It's like getting a needle. Have you got it, Jenna? Yep, just sent it. I can get it in the system right there. Hold on. Did you say call it 2SM Flashback?

Yeah. I've got it up. Did you get it? I've got it. What else would 2SM Flashback be in the system? I don't know. It could have been've got it. What else would 2SM Flashback be in the system? I don't know. It could have been an old one. What else would that be?

So this is after he hung up on me, we obviously didn't hear what Hayes said on air, but this is him carrying on after the prank call. Here we go. Talk tonight. Your name, please. Vern. You're on air, Vern. What did you want to say, mate?

I just wanted to talk about Ancestry.com and genealogy. Yeah, very quickly. Graeme, you wouldn't believe it, but I just took the DNA test, and it turns out I'm 100% that bitch. Yeah, that sounds right, Vern. So, you hung on for that, did you? Yeah, I think you've described yourself

100%, Vern, okay? Yep, we've got your number, so we won't put you back on talk tonight on 13 12 69. Okay, that wasn't too bad actually. It's actually better hearing it from the other point of view. Yeah, it's very smug. Well, we'll be about to put you back on.

I reckon we could easily get back on. That was not hard at all. Such a piece of shit. Anyway, well done. Thank you. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches.