Is It Just Me? - TALKBACK TINGZ: The longest intro EVER 📻

Episode Date: October 5, 2019

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Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Mitch, it is our third show and the whole time we've been doing this I have to keep reminding you that you're not on radio. I'd just like to say. Yes. Team, congratulations on three shows. Yes, okay. Well done. I think we're well deserved and we've gotten this far and we have a great amount of reviews and I think we're doing really well.

a great amount of reviews, and I think we're doing really well. But there's one problem that still remains, is that you keep forgetting that this isn't radio, and you don't need to use the same amount of energy when you're broadcasting here as you do when you're on air. You're not a jock. Here's just a few of the times that you've slipped into radio mode here on this podcast. How am I talking?

You're in radio mode. I know. You've got to relax. I'm going to shake it off. Wait, wait, wait. So who was singing? You're using your radio voice again. That's me, though.

I get excited. You get extra. Wait, wait, wait. So who was singing? You're using your radio voice again. That's me, though. I get excited. You get extra breathy. Okay, sorry. Oh, I feel like we're a real radio show. Well, we're not a radio show. Okay, sorry. I feel like we're a real radio show. Do I need to keep reminding you this?

You keep talking like an energetic bastard all the time. That's just who I am. You're trained to do that. No, you've heard me. I talk like that. I went to a funeral and did the eulogy, and I forward announced a bloody cremation. Coming up with the next 20 finger sandwiches. Okay.

So you see what I'm saying? Yeah. I love to clap too. I don't know where that came from. The reminders are falling on deaf ears apparently. So I figured out that that is too much of a big ask to just say, hey Mitch, snap out of it. So I'm thinking baby steps, okay?

I can do baby steps. Instead of going straight out of radio mode and into podcast mode, let's say that we're going to put you from FM radio mode into AM radio mode, okay? So here's a segment that I'm calling Talk Back Tings. Talk Back Radio really is just a world of its own, isn't it? That's why I've got to be right wing all of a sudden. No, no.

Yell at women. Look, I listen to Talk Back Radio a lot because I like to know what else is going on. I like to get out of the FM bubble, unlike yourself. No, no. Yell at women. Look, I listen to Talkback Radio a lot because I like to know what else is going on. I like to get out of the FM bubble, unlike yourself. No, no, no. I like Ben Fordham's program, but that's about it. We're going way more Talkback than that today, okay? Really?

Because whenever I listen around, I like to bring little pieces of gold and show them to you, okay? That's how this segment's going to work. No, I agree. And today, I want you to take inspiration because this show that I heard, I heard the start of someone's show. I want you, pretend you're him, I want you to jump in where you think, as an FM radio guy, it would be appropriate to turn the mics on and start talking.

Okay, so like in FM radio, what I do is I'll set something up, I'll play an opening, I'll speak right on the post, as we call it. This is the show opener, so the start. Okay, so... So where would you think it would be appropriate to start talking? Have a listen. Okay, all right. Oh, God.

Oh, man. Brent Bolditude in the afternoon. Phone now to have your say. 131269. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the program. Well, there we go. I feel like that's normal.

That's where you go wrong. You're in way too much of a rush. You've got to let it breathe. I'm trying to help you here. You've got to be more like an AM radio guy because this guy, turn it off. He's in absolutely no rush to start talking. He's definitely not. I want you to take a listen to just how long he left between the show opener and him starting to talk.

Here it is. Okay. the show opener and him starting to talk. Here it is. Okay. Brent Bolditude in the afternoon. Phone now to have your say. 13 12 69. Well, that's where I would have spoken.

No, no. Give it time. Can I put it away? Surely it'll be like next We'll wait People need to go to our Instagram to see your face You are horrified Hi everyone to see your face. You are horrified. Hi, everyone.

What? Wrapping up. Hi, afternoon. Where is the man? Surely it's going to be now. No, no. Listen and take notes. I want you to be more like him.

What, dead? Oh, I can feel it. No. Surely it'll be... I can hear it. Now. No, not yet. Is he asleep? Not yet. I'm visibly anxious.

Shh. Give him time. Jazz flute. When he's ready. This can't be real. I haven't edited this. Here we go. Okay.

Building. Jolly. Jolly. Now. Surely. Now he goes. Oh, my God, what? You'd think, wouldn't you? What? They've given him ample opportunity.

Shh. He'll join it in his time. He's all right. He could have fallen. Now. Now. Surely now. No. Now. Surely now. Do you actually get this?

Is this real? Yeah. I haven't edited it. Afternoon, I trust you. There he is. Oh, very good. I think that that was a perfect example of how to just take a step back and not be so rushed. No, I had four minor heart attacks in that.

Pulmonary embolism. You've got to try and break the habit of being a radio guy on this podcast. I have to say, truthfully, that gives me anxiety. I've been trained to... Imagine not having anxiety already. Wow. Okay. Not funny.

Hey, if anyone was curious, he left that opener for two minutes and 35 seconds. Holy. That's how long I meant to talk for. Start, set up, take calls and go into the ads. What was he doing? I don't know. That's none of your business. It's none of anyone's business.

It doesn't matter. It's AM radio. No one's in a rush. I can't handle that. Maybe he's not all there. Although given his demo, imagine how many people passed during that time but no i'm serious i think that we need to seriously coach you on how to be more relaxed and less uptight radio guy on this podcast i want you to play our open and see how long you can go without talking oh no no that makes me feel sick

mitchell either you're committed to this or you're not. Okay, I can do it. So I'll show open it and I'm going to just let it go for as long as I can comfortably do it. Okay. I can feel my prostate itching. What's an old person thing? Someone get me a glass of milk? All right, I'll take my Caltrate and we're good.

Now here's Mitch, Julie and Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons.

Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons.

Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. Mitchell Coons. I could have known. That was nothing. I had to. That was nothing. I physically had to.

How long is the audio file that our opener says? It goes for eight more minutes. You had so much time up your sleeve. Eight minutes? Yes. That's not possible. I had so much time up your sleeve. Eight minutes? Yes. That's not possible. I think it is. I could not have done that.

It's a podcast. Who writes the rule book? Well, no one, but who finds that entertaining? I think it's quite relaxing. You think it's relaxing? Yep. This ridiculous EDM beat sounds like it's from an under-18s party. Do you want to hook up with me?

Do you bring Gatorade? My dad gave me a cigarette. Actually, my stepdad, sorry. You know what I mean, anyway? God! See, I have to talk. The worst thing that everyone fears in radio is dead air. Yeah, it's just this.

Ready? How long can you go with dead air on this show? Ready? Turn it off. Okay, okay, okay. No, I can't do it. Oh, what? I cannot do that long.

God, look at him, Jenna. He's a freak. The backup track kicks in after 30. There's no backup track here, I'm telling you. Really? You've got to kick these habits. Try again. I'm telling you. Really? You've got to kick these habits. Try again.

Be back. I can see Jenna's nails growing. What are the P2s thinking? Well, it's no longer dead air because you keep interrupting it. Okay, we'll see. I have to. I have to do it. We'll cut that. You know what's funny?

I go out to cafes. That's not the story. And I'll hear them play Spotify. And on Spotify, a song ends, you know, a song will play, naturally end, and the next one will start. To me, I freak out. I'm like, is that Kix? Are we off air?

On it during pepho! Actually, I do that too sometimes when I hear a really shit seg. Because if you just play a song, like, back to back on Apple Music, Spotify, whatever, it leaves the silence between them. And I'm sitting there going, oh, that would be turmoil in our workplace. So I'm with you on that. But I just think we've got our work cut out for us, don't we, Jenna? Oh, you sure do. Trying to get him into a podcast, guys.

You sure do. You're doing no work. We'll come up with something to do next week, won't we? Well, I think it's my turn to come up with something, because you guys have just put it on me every single week. Well, that's true, actually. The only person that can help you is yourself when it comes to trying to change. You're just not good. What the fuck, Jenna?

Are you serious? That's a beautiful note to end on. Let's go. Don't forget to follow a couple of Mitch's and leave us It's not good. What the fuck, Jenna? Are you serious? I love that. That's a beautiful note to end on. Let's go. Don't forget to follow a couple of Mitch's and leave us a very good review on the iTunes store. Yeah, please do. You're just not good. That's very off.

Get over it. It's fine. You're just not good. That cuts to my core. Yeah, whatever. Come on. Can I ask a genuine question from the two of you? And I want to ask, honestly.

Have you heard my show I do at night? No. Yeah, of course. Yeah. What do you think of it? It's fine. Pardon? It's bad.

Oh, please. You're in bed with a cup of bloody Horlicks by eight. What's Horlicks? I don't even know what that is. It's like a, it puts you to sleep. It's like a malt drink. Sounds like a slur. Oh, I've heard that.

Horlicks. Jesus Christ. All right, guys. Thank you for listening once again. See you in at four. We will catch you next week, okay? Yeah. Got a lot planned.

Same time, same place. See you there. At a couple of... Fuck. I shouldn't do it. At a couple of Mitch's on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Periscope. Do people use Periscope anymore? No, but we have Bebo.

Really? No. Oh. You can Venmo me money. Follow us on OnlyFans for the real generous junk. You know, one of my friends from high school posted on their Instagram, follow my OnlyFans. And I clicked on the link.

He's having sex. My housemate, like, pays half his rent using an OnlyFans account. Are you serious? Is this? I won't say the name. Jordan, I don't care. He's quite proud of it. He didn't take the nudes especially for the account.

He just figures that he's already got these nudes. He may as well just pop them on the internet in a place that they're going to be rented out at a monthly cost. Wow. And he actually has enough money. He makes money. He has a lot of subscribers, yes. Does he really?

I'm like, oh, Christ. We should start... Lick our nudes. You need an iPad to view mine. Not in the right way. In the body. I'm alright with that. No, I've started.

Maybe you are more AM radio than I thought. Can't even laugh at that breaking into a fit. Dust in the studio. We seriously need to go. Thank you guys for listening. See you next week. As always.

Bye bye. Is it just me? Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app.