Is She Ok? - Blake Lively, 2024 Highs & Lows, Making NY Resolutions Stick & More!

Episode Date: December 29, 2024

The final episode of 2024! And we're reviewing our personal highs & lows, setting intentions for 2025 & if you stick with us till the end, there's an exclusive peak at some exciting things happening in the New Year!

Hi everyone and welcome to the Is She OK? podcast. I'm Chans and I'm Sophie and we're here to unpack life's ups and downs and all the in-betweens. Having the conversations every woman's thinking about but rarely says out loud. Every week we'll chat about topics that really matter, aiming to answer the question we all ask ourselves, is she okay? Oh hi! Heya! Happy last episode of 2024. I know it's come quickly. I don't know where December's gone to be honest. No I also love the fact that you're recording in a bathroom today. Well yeah I'm at home in my parents house and there is no bedroom that has like lighting apparently yeah so I kind of just walk around I was like no you it's I'm in the dark in every room parents have told me to stay downstairs and be very quiet um I was like can you just not like

speak for the next hour that'll be great it's authentic this is how we roll on this podcast you know it's rough it's ready it's just real what can we say we're just so real how are you i am really good actually i mean my poor dog today has had her four teeth taken out so there's a chunk of mum you know dog mum guilt because i obviously haven't looked after his teeth very well but apart from that he's fine and if you do a better job with Cyrus you're all right let's be real exactly let's just hope that happens um and this week I had a lovely week because I got to see you in real life it was so good I know it's always such a highlight um yeah it's really good and I think I've said this before on this podcast

actually that Sophie and I have a very very long history we've been friends for a very long time and we don't speak every day you know Sophie hates her mobile phone so we have adjusted to the fact that she's one of those friends where if something really big happens in my life she will always respond but we don't chat all the time but then when we do get to see each other it's just one of those very authentic friendships where it just feels like no time has passed and everything feels really lovely um so it was lovely to see you and our other friend Soraya who we have also mentioned on the podcast before was also there and it was just wonderful to see her too so nice way to end end the year. Yeah, it's no, I mean, I completely agree.

It was lovely. And we always go to like the same kind of area in London and it's just overstay our welcome in whatever restaurant we're at. Order probably too much food for three people. Do you remember that time we went for dim sum and the woman who chained us, she told us we ordered too much.

Yeah. And then we ate it all. Did she? Yeah. We did order about like 200 pounds worth of dim sum for like three of us by the way we did but she was like you only really need like three dishes each we were like no we don't we know what we're doing we've done this before please then it becomes like a challenge and i'm sure all of us like you just watch now watch how much we're gonna fucking eat yeah and we did there was shit I allowed to swear on this podcast yeah I've said fuck and shit now sorry everyone I mean I've sworn I'm 100% sure I've sworn before

um I think that's the least about what race to be fair I'm filming I'm recording in a bathroom we're good it's all good um Sophie how are you doing um I'm exhausted um but that's okay um so I came home on Friday today is Monday um and I've managed to wake up at any time between 2 and 3 a.m since um and been up since but yeah it's fine but it's one of those frustrating things I was like I've said to you like of those frustrating things I was like I've said to you like I come home and I'm like I've got a week and I'm gonna do all this stuff and like you know work on my business rather than in my business and get like creative stuff going and I come home I'm just like I've not slept I feel awful and yeah but maybe it's a sign that like

I just need to rest and so yeah I think that's probably it yeah so no but it's fine I'm good um yesterday was so lovely um and then it is Christmas Eve tomorrow so my sisters come home and yeah I'm I'm excited it's gonna be a good few days and yeah I'm here till Saturday so nice um so yeah talking of coming home I wanted to run by you um I need you and the listeners to decide if I was the arsehole in the situation okay I will tell you Christmas coming home the trains are busy um and when I'm on like a train journey like I like to do some work so I book and have paid for um like a table like yeah and you can either pay for it or you can just kind of reserve it but either way like I'm very intentional about where I sit on the train yeah um so I was coming home get on the train and someone's in my seat.

The busy train. So I wasn't going to start like walking up and down the train and see if there was another, cause there's only like two on a carriage and it's in the thing, it's reserved. So like the person sitting there knew that they were sitting in someone else's seat and I hate doing it cause I feel like a dick, but I was like, I'm really sorry. That's my seat. Yeah. And the next thing I know so basically it was a guy um doing his drag makeup so there was makeup all over the table and he was sitting opposite another guy the next thing i do he's knocked his coke onto this other guy and i'm just standing

there like mortified because i feel responsible for it what well because like i asked this person to move but they shouldn't have been there in the first place it's like if you want to spend okay so am i an arsehole for asking this person to move is what i'm absolutely not you reserved it you paid for it they would have seen that it was a reserved seat people take a chance when it comes to trains it's like the wild west sometimes people are just like well sorry the train's full so the reserved part doesn't matter anymore which is bullshit um so no you were not the arsehole in this situation he probably wasn't an arsehole he was chanting it and when you asked him he moved right yeah yeah yeah like completely unapologetic like there was no issue there then i literally

spent the rest of so then the guy like so then he'd spilled his coke and it had gone on to like the guy in the guy's seat so then that guy ended up moving and I was like I've displaced someone else and I was like actually I haven't done it and I shouldn't be feeling bad and apologetic but yeah you know and you've just got then got to sit there for two hours opposite this person who you've asked to move I was like I'm so embarrassed right now no no you were not in arsehole territory at all thanks babes and then the other thing that's happened this week that i wanted to discuss was the whole blake lively this ends with us because it came out yesterday um have you seen much about this so some of my friends uh have messaged some articles they'll

be chatting about it in a WhatsApp group. So I was like, oh, what's this? It's interesting because when the publicity was coming out about the movie and there was a lot of negative speak about her, I did watch some of her interviews and I did think she was a bit of a dick. And that was because of how she was answering questions. I still think she was a bit of a dick about how she answered some of the questions but what's coming out now I think is separate to that yeah and to like and also it's actually come out now that they were instructed

on how to talk about these things what to talk about by Sony so the topics of conversation they were told to speak about actually were kind of dictated to them but I was reading through and I'm going to pull it up so I was reading through the official like the list of things that were in that are in the lawsuit in terms of things that like have you seen this list it is I've seen some of it I haven't seen the full list it's horrific so I'm just going gonna read some of the things that she had to specify this guy did not do and these are things that like in my opinion are just like unsaid so some of them no more showing nude videos or images of women including producer's wife to blake lively or her employees why we do that happen yeah and it's it's all very and bear in mind this is a movie about domestic violence yeah yeah um I'm just gonna

gonna find some more um no more mentions Blake Lively or her employees of personal times that physical consent was not given in sexual acts as either the abuser or the abused no more descriptions of their own genitalia um there was one about yeah if blake lively and or her infant is exposed to covid again blake lively must be provided with immediate notice so she was obviously exposed to covid by i'm assuming him or someone on set and they knew they had it and it just goes on and on and it's like walking the trailer when she was naked unannounced um and then i read that there was a scene and i've not seen the film but there was a scene where there's a gynecologist and it's a guy apparently it's like i think it might have

been the birthing scene where again he demanded she was naked um and instead of having an actor he brought in one of his friends to be the gynecologist when she was fully naked so there's all this stuff i'm like no like because she was so heavily criticized yeah anyway it's all like the stuff in this thing is just in my view it's completely horrific and like should not have been this far and obviously she didn't speak up at the time but I'm assuming it's because there was stuff going on behind the scenes that she was probably told yeah on things yeah and you know you could see the animosity. It was very blatant at the time when the movie was coming out.

I imagine she's been waiting, collecting as much evidence as she needed to. And she was always going to do something about it. She just had to wait for the right moment. Because now this has come out, a lot of other people have kind of stood up for her. Like a lot of other actors, even the author, Colleen Hoover, has come forward to support her. So lots of people have come out now. But I think one of the things that was happening was no one was coming forward. So massive smear campaign.

Also, do you know who was behind it? Was it the PR person that was working for the actor? So the PR for him, he hired the same PR team that were behind Johnny Depp against Amber Heard so yeah so it's horrific and the messages between them have all come out and it's essentially just a campaign and there are messages going back and forth basically like we just need to bury her we'll ruin her family like and this is just this ongoing trend of like the like smear campaigns against women in hollywood and like amber had like she had such an awful time i mean she now lives in like spain and like doesn't act like it's

horrific yeah yeah it just shows the power that they have actually and you know, you know, what I was talking about at the start about her coming across as a dick is some of her answers to interview questions. But Anne Hathaway has also had some really awkward interview moments, as have many other celebrities. This, for me, sits as a very separate issue. And it's good on her and good on for her family for everyone who's decided to fight this because it's very and also I don't even know who this guy is so I suppose he acts with like

an attitude of someone who is more famous than he is like right you know he's like way more famous than he will ever be yeah yeah like he's just yeah i mean from what like is coming out like just completely unacceptable so yeah i thought that was interesting um and yeah go blake is what i'm saying exactly sorry i called you a dick blake but yeah we're just still be correct yeah they're not mutually exclusive like it's like so as it is the end of the year um and a time for reflection and all that jazz um you mentioned last time that you do with your family like peaks and troughs yes like the kardashians do i mean i may have stolen it from them so we go around the kitchen the the dinner table and everyone says

their peak which is their highlight of the year and their trough which is you know something that maybe wasn't so good that happened this year um so yeah i thought that might be something nice for us to do i love that um would you like to kick it off I will so my peak and trough are actually one in the same uh and that and I'm sure this will come as no surprise is becoming a mother um and you know it was my trough because it has been the most relentless difficult stressful soul-shattering experience um So much harder than I thought it would be for a variety of reasons that I've basically crawled through the last six months and I finally feel like I'm coming out the other side. So it was definitely a bit of a low point for me.

My peak because of all of those reasons, because I feel like I'm emerging from these these last few months as a much stronger person I feel like my relationship is the strongest it's ever been with my husband I have a newfound appreciation for my family for my friends I've spotted those who are not so there for me anymore and that's that's absolutely fine um and throughout it all I have personally created an amazing little boy who I just think is is brilliant and who is just growing and learning and you know has made me this incredible new version of myself so yeah my peak and travel one of the same um for anyone who's listening who's a new mum you know people always said to me wait till you get to six months and it'll start getting better and I didn't ever quite believe it would and the truth is I feel

like it is now so uh there is there is hope for all of us I promise you and you know what that really came across yesterday like it was the first time that I've seen you and I was like you you're glowing about being a mum like you were so positive about it and like it not because it's all like sunshine and roses suddenly but it was just kind of like maybe it was just because you had a good night's sleep but like do you know what I mean like it was just your mindset towards it had changed and like you were really relaxed and like it was just because you had a good night's sleep but like do you know what I mean like it was just your mindset towards it had changed and like you were really relaxed and like it was just really lovely to see um so yeah it was really nice um do you set new year's resolutions do I you know a couple of years ago my new year's resolution was to do yoga every day

for a month of January and I did it and that actually lasted I think I did yoga every day for almost two years yeah I remember when you did that and that's the only resolution in my entire life that I've kept I always do dry Jan every year and stopped yoga so but I haven't been drinking anyway um but not anymore not anymore because I think resolutions for me they just feel quite flimsy in some way. It's something you set and then, you know, often you break it. If I'm going to set anything, an intention is probably the word I would use. So my intention for next year is to is to take everything a step at a time and not and not feel too much pressure, not put put too much pressure on myself uh but yeah not anymore no more resolutions for me do you set any so before

I answer that I'm actually just going to go back to one thing that you said there which is really interesting and actually this is why goals and resolutions fail it's not the goal or the resolution itself that is the issue it's and this isn't an attack on you it's like something that I've learned and it is the all or nothing and perfectionist mindset we attach to achieving that thing 100% so no path to achieving anything in life is linear right yeah we set something like a goal a lot of the time we go into it like say that yoga thing if you went I'm gonna go do yoga every day for 30 days and then you miss one day you're like fucked it no you're not doing it anymore and

then you failed whereas a more growth mindset and a way to actually still achieve that goal would be like I've missed today that's okay I'll pick it up tomorrow yeah yeah you and then you've still like it doesn't have to be this kind of like hard and fast that's so true you know I think that's where and it's again it's the whole thing of like most of the time when people fail with goals and resolutions because they actually don't action anything. So they'll be like, I want to do this. And I did this when I was younger. Like you'd set a goal for the year and no plan of action behind it.

You'd be like, well, you're not going to become like whatever, an Olympian if you don't start training or, you know, you're not going to save a thousand pounds next year if you don't open a bank account yeah yeah yeah yeah it's so true and you know I think the the difference would have been if I said I'm going to start doing yoga and kept it as something broader and then said and to do that I am going to watch I don't know yoga with Adrian shout out Adrian uh you know three times a week or something like you know something a bit more manageable and then if I did more great if I did less I'm still achieving that goal um so yeah I think that's a brilliant brilliant way to look at it which is why now I kind of I've transformed it into setting an intention because that feels a lot more manageable yeah

no so it's interesting because I do exactly the same thing um yeah um Sophie what are your peaks and what was your peak and trough so I'm really indecisive with this um because I don't like pinning down like one or two things um I would probably say a peak was this like deciding to do this podcast um I'm gonna go for that because that is genuinely the first thing that springs to mind um the trough there's do you know what it's probably more than I would like them to be not because last year was a bad year yeah last year was a bit of a meh year this year by the way we haven't left it yet I love that it's all right I'm so over it I'm like I'm 2025 babes yeah no we are still in 2024 um yeah I think

I think that last year there was an overall theme of and this is going to get like a bit deep and I'm not going to go too much into it but there was a slight theme of losing sense in human or losing sense of humanity a little bit and there were a lot of hard moments last year that I probably gave too much power to and I'd say more at the start of the year like definitely definitely as the years progressed, I've learned to manage it better and kind of like got a lot more resilient towards things. But there was definitely an overarching theme of sadness and real disappointment in a lot of things and a lot of lost friendships and disappointment in people. And so, yeah, like I can't not acknowledge that um last year felt very much survival rather than thriving but a lot like that there were definitely so many moments of gratitude and so many highlights um you know like holidays and spending time with family and seeing you girls so

it's you know and I would much rather always focus on those things but it it was definitely it was a hard year and I know that it was a lot of people for a lot of reasons yeah but yeah it was it's interesting because you know you are not the only friend of mine who has faced some of those challenges I think when things happen in the world and you're part of a particular demographic that's being quite heavily attacked, you really see the true colours of the people within your periphery and your circle. And you see those who come forward and go, are you OK? You know, is she OK?

And you see the people who kind of like turn a blind eye and go, well, you're not directly affected. So I don't see why I need to ask that question and they don't get it. But one thing is, and you, you opened up to me about some of the pretty shitty situations you had to deal with purely because of other people's fuckery. And I have to say, Sophie, you have dealt with everything with so much strength and grace. You make me cry. I know. I feel like I'm pretty quite emotional. to say sophie you have dealt with everything with so much strength and grace you've done i know i

feel like i'm really quite emotional actually um that you did a really really good job so yeah people may have let you down and acted in ways that they shouldn't have but you have handled yourself brilliantly this year thank you oh my god let's just both cry for like the next seven i am actually welling up that's the weird thing yeah no like yeah and this ladies and gents is why she means the world to me so um yeah so again like it was I'm very grateful for some of the lessons it taught me and it strengthened relationships with the people that are meant to be in my life so I'm super grateful for that um and yeah I'm gonna spend the next couple of days thinking about like intentions for the year to come um because I think that that's a really exciting thing to do and I've also decided I'm gonna order from Amazon one of those like massive calendars to stick on your wall um

where I can like plan stuff I get excited about and kind of I've got a couple of concerts coming up next year that I'm really looking forward to yeah I'm looking forward to it um and hopefully like business-wise there's some really cool stuff that I'm planning to do um in fact I'm just going to soft launch it here because then I have to do it um so I'm going to be launching a book club next year um amazing yeah so it's going to be in-person book club um based out of the gym that I work in um the first book is going to be atomic habits um so it's all about um establishing habits in your life um and making things achievable so it's all about establishing habits in your life and making things achievable. So it's a perfect kind of like themed book for the start. I think my husband's read that book. He loves that kind of shit.

So I think he's already read it and tried to tell me about it. And you've ignored. Obviously. Every habit needs to be manageable, Chans. Start with small things. No, that's so not me but yeah so um um no and you know I think on behalf of me and Sophie we just also want to say to anyone who has listened uh to us rambling on for the last seven or eight episodes thank you so much we've had some really lovely feedback yeah um from people we know from people we don't know um and it's just been it's just been great yeah so thank you so much for listening um and this

will be the last one of 2024 um but we'll be back in 2025 with some maybe like some firm intentions for the new year things that we've actioned um all the good stuff but um yeah again thank you for listening go ahead like rate review please do share so much everyone have a great new year have a great new year bye