Is She Ok? - How to Actually Achieve Your Goals & Create The Life You Want in 2025
Episode Date: January 10, 2025It's a new year, and we're back with some reluctant adulting, new hobbies and some expert advice on how to actually have the year, and life you want in 2025. Grab a pen, paper and get ready to take so...me notes!
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Hi everyone and welcome to the Is She OK? podcast. I'm Chans and I'm Sophie and we're here to unpack
life's ups and downs and all the in-betweens. Having the conversations every woman's thinking
about but rarely says out loud. Every week we'll chat about topics that really matter,
aiming to answer the question we all ask ourselves, is she okay? Happy New Year! Welcome, first podcast of 2025. I know,
it's an important one. I mean let's not, let's not, let's not go there because you've had a day.
Oh my god, is she okay? I'm not sure today.
What did we wake up to this morning, Chance?
We came downstairs.
And by the way, we had eight hours of sleep last night.
My son went to sleep, did not wake up until the morning.
It was glorious.
So me and my husband were like, yeah, on top of the world.
Let's bounce down the stairs.
Go downstairs.
And our lounge was just flooded everything was soaking and the funniest and weirdest part of it is we
could not see a point where there was a leak we spent ages looking and in the end we were like
stumped so i've had four handymen over did you just have a glass of go to something last night no it was like it was huge like everywhere and uh
yeah everyone was a little bit stumped but we think we've kind of figured it out someone needs
to come back next week and replaster and do all of that fun stuff but it was just not you know
when you're not expecting something that catastrophic to happen yeah um so yeah and
that's the last day of my husband's holiday before he has to start work so well that's a nice smack back to reality isn't it love that i know i know but it was fine my
parents came over and you know we were all together and that was good i could tell you
being an adult is a shit show just the worst sometimes i would love to regress back to a kid
where all i have to do is nap and eat and shit. Like, you know, that would be wonderful
to go back to those days.
That's the level of responsibility,
like mentally, I think I'm okay with.
100%.
That's about all I can handle at this point.
The regression has started early.
What can I say?
Yeah, no, I'm good.
It's been a busy start to the new year,
but that's not a bad thing.
I've got a new
hobby tell me I am now a knitter I knew you were gonna say that yeah I'm surprised you weren't a
knitter earlier to be honest it's only because I didn't know how but so basically it's the cutest
thing so we're sitting there over Christmas and one thing leads to another.
And I find out that my mum has like found all this knitting equipment.
I keep calling it sewing. She's like, it's knitting. There's a difference.
Anyway, so one evening my mum taught me how to knit.
Now, I'm nearly 40 and I'm sure that my mum has taught me basically everything I know from like
tying my shoes to brushing my teeth but you don't remember that stuff and we were sitting there and
I was like this is just one of those moments where it's like a core memory like I will never forget
um and it would have been really sweet if it wasn't for the fact that I'm left-handed.
So what should have been a really sweet, like, lovely moment between mum, daughter,
the family looking on, turned out to, wow, how cack-handed and stupid is Sophie because everything's back to front and the wrong way around.
And they're left-handed knitted needles.
So when I was younger, my parents took me they're left-handed knitted needles so when I was younger my parents
took me to a left-handed shop um there's one yeah there is a thing um basically it's like
having a disability it's you know I've heard people who are left-handed are actually smarter
I imagine someone who is left-handed came up with that 100% so I the only
thing I was allowed to get from this left-handed shop because obviously it was all shit um yeah
a badge and it said I might be left-handed but I'm always right and how that has stuck with me
to this day I love that I hope you still got it somewhere I mean probably in the drawer so don't
throw anything out but yeah so that was a really lovely um moment and we're currently as a family knitting
a um we're all knitting little bits because all I can do is like knit like squares okay rectangles
I'm not up to like doing a pattern yet so I'm gonna get them send them home to my mum and then
she's gonna put them all together with hers and my sisters.
And it's going to be like a blanket for Tess.
So this is so wholesome. I could die. I love it.
So, yeah, that is how I'm going to be living it up in 2025.
I'm sure that will help me find a man, you know, make my millions, do all the things. That is the way we're going.
It'll keep you sane. It will. Because I've heard it's actually very relaxing yeah it's so wonderful it's really really nice and it's actually it's something
that um it's one of the techniques that um is actually a really good thing for people who
overeat like in the evenings because we watch tv and instead of like eating mindlessly and you're
doing something with your hands and it engages your brain a bit more um and it just distracts you so it's actually kind of a really good mindful technique the same as like
the coloring books and things like that yeah no I'm loving it and you just do like two or three
lines a night and it's it's great lines of cocaine um thanks thanks for clarifying after
you just told us you're knitting every evening I should clarify for anyone that's just tuned in.
I do want to make two recommendations for anyone that is in cozy,
stay at home mode, Netflix, Man on the Inside.
Have you watched it?
What's about?
Is it Ted Danson, the guy that was in two men and a baby yeah yeah yeah right
it's so good it's like pulls at your heartstrings um but really funny basically it's i won't ruin
it but it's a guy who his wife has died and he ends up being hired as a private detective and
goes undercover in an old people's home or like a lovely community um there's
something really hot about him he's like oh okay this goes back to the episode where you were like
i love old men but you know glad it's come back around no but he's like tom selleck that yeah he's
hot he's hot for a while what can i say um and then the other thing which is not going to help my case, is 80 for Brady.
I've seen that. I actually really enjoyed that.
It's so good.
I love an ensemble cast movie.
So any of those, I really love them. Lily Tomlinson, like, cannot go wrong.
It's great.
So if you have some time to waste over the next couple of weeks in January, do that.
Love it. in the next couple of weeks in January um do that love it and actually that I wanted to talk to you
about January because it's often known as as one of the most depressing months um blue Monday is
always in January which is meant to be the most depressing day of the year is that the fourth
Monday fourth or the fifth I think so do you know what I googled it same third monday in january there you go there you go um so i wanted to know how you get through
your january in one piece what do you normally do love this um i think it's all in your head
um i think how you approach it so i actually posted a real last at the end of last January um saying that if you hate January you're doing it
wrong um love it and I think it's just in your approach like you can either view it it's like
anything it's just a month right and like we all know as adults like when our payday is we all know
that like it's going to be cold it's going to be a bit darker these aren't like like, it's going to be cold. It's going to be a bit darker. These aren't like massive shocks. It's not like, hold on, we didn't know this was going to happen.
And it's just how you approach it. So last year, for example, I went to Malaga for four days with
my little sister. And it was perfect, it broke it up. And I get that not everyone can do that. And
I'm not. But like, focus on what you can do in January so maybe money
is a bit tight but it's like well you can like embrace the fact that you can like light some
candles and have cozy like and have people over for dinner and you could do like a come down with
me kind of thing with your friends or I don't know go to the gym or you know stuff yeah and I always refer people back to like think about things in
nature so like nature nature's seasons right like this is a season for hibernation and for all those
things so if we kind of align ourselves with that a bit more it actually it takes the pressure off
like yes if you want to like be super tanned and have a really like
harsh diet at this time of year it's really hard because that's what we're set up to do so yeah
that's my approach to it just kind of embrace it yeah I think that's a brilliant approach and also
I'll add to it because something that I always think about is looking at the bigger picture we've
just had December which is often you know you're most overindulgent. You see loads of people. You're socialized to the max.
That actually January for me was always a bit of saving grace where I was like, cool, now I can slow it down.
And I always do. I always have done dry January and stoptober.
They just ended up being these two months where I ended up being completely sober.
And I think I've done it probably for the last I don't know 12 years or something and that meant I actually always really looked forward to January because it meant I felt great
I was clear-minded yes maybe I was a bit poorer that month but like you said it's it's the state
of mind I was like cool I'll just have more nights in and chill with my friends um so yeah getting
through January I appreciate it's not the same
for everyone and everyone has you know differing circumstances they can be really hard but it
doesn't need to be the worst time of the year and also we've gone through um the winter solstice so
days are getting lighter now so like in reality like we're already coming out of like the darkest
part of the year and I get that it's hard
and like I'm massively affected by kind of like lack of daylight but it's like well supplement
and I know it's not the same but supplement with your vitamin d like side when you can um and just
you've got to kind of take control of things a little bit you can't just sit on like January
shit it's like well then it is shit yeah yeah absolutely
but yeah and on that I was gonna also talk to you a bit about kind of goal setting and just
moving forward with 2025 because I do feel that this year there's quite a nice buzz around it
like I feel like people are feeling really like pumped up about 25 like yeah this could be a good
year for things and kind of everyone just seems to
have like a really good vibe about it um so I actually wanted to talk to you a little bit about
um goal setting um because there are so many pitfalls with this and I think we touched on it
a little bit in the last episode so when it comes to goal setting one of the biggest things that I'm
really stressing to people at the moment is just to make sure, and this sounds so simple, but that it's actually about you.
So often people set goals either because they're things they've seen other people doing or things that they've kind of just done in the past.
Like every year, women, it's like, oh, I need to lose body fat or I want to do it's always the same things so one thing that I would always recommend
to people is start your goal setting process by actually reflecting on the year prior um nice
reflect on 2024 um go through your diary go through your camera like as reminders because
it's amazing how much we forget that we've done or even your journal and actually spend just 10
minutes reflecting through and all these memories will come back to you right and then you're
asking yourself some key questions so what was missing from 2024 what made you feel happiest in 2024 like what were the highlights
what were the lowlights and then from there you can actually get a better idea of what you actually
truly want in the year to come um so like at the end of 2025 like who do you want to be
what does that person look like what does their life look like
and then you can start embodying that and actually taking actions to align with that um it's almost
like the whole fake it till you make it thing yeah yeah if you want to be someone that exercises
regularly and instead of working from home like works from a coffee shop or whatever it might be start doing those things because that's the only way it's going to happen
and there's a really good technique called stop start continue have you come across this
no not really simple all you do is like list three to five things that you're going to stop doing
in 20 in the next year start doing so refer back to that list like what was
missing start doing three to five things and three to five things that you're going to continue doing
in the next year write this down everyone grab a pen it's like a Harvard um researched way of kind
of uh goal setting um and it's just really nice because it gives you a really good framework
and then from there you can make some action points um so like i said for example if the goal
is to travel more if you want to start traveling um straight away book some holiday days off work
do things immediately so at the tail end of 2023 I wanted to take some more kind
of like weekend trips throughout the year so by the end of the year I had booked in three little
kind of like long weekend breaks and immediately I achieved those things because I imagine with
travel because I know a lot of people say this year I want to
travel more I've said it in the past and often what holds people back is their finances but from
what you've just said I could say I want to travel more and at the end of this year book some holiday
days just the days off work don't plan anything just have those days booked and then I've got
months to save up and book a trip and those days are waiting for me so if that
was something that someone wanted to do I'd be like do exactly that book the days off work and
also if you're clever have you seen those things online where it's like oh gosh yeah yeah don't
tell everyone I want to keep that my secret in my head tiktok is only sending that we'll get that
bit out it's fine um but yeah like book your days off work that's step one right put it in your
diary then you can start researching I'd also suggest opening like a savings account.
And so I've got Monzo and you can create pots on there.
So actually taking action. Otherwise, you're like, oh, I want to travel more next year.
And then you do nothing. And then funnily enough, you get to the end of the year and you're like, oh, I didn't really do anything.
I didn't like do that. It's like, well, of course you didn't.
You didn't do anything.
And it's the same with fitness.
It's the same with anything.
You've got to actually, shockingly, make the effort.
Yeah, make it real.
Yeah.
So I thought that was quite a useful.
It's really useful.
And actually, my husband and I did exactly this just a couple of, I think it was quite a useful it's really useful and actually my husband and I did exactly
this just a couple of I think it was on New Year's Eve we sat down and we were like what are our goals
for the year and what's our joint goals for the year and we had this kind of headline so I think
one of mine was to to enjoy the last part of my maternity leave and then we kind of had these
headlines and then we said great now how are we going to do that yeah what's going to get us up
to that goal and we've stuck them up they're up in our wardrobes so we can see them every day and we've just done the steps then you
know in my head I was like I've given myself mini deadlines of when I want to achieve various things
but you're right you almost have to approach it like I don't know when you're having an annual
review at work and it is like it's the same thing it's like the only reason we get anything done
like is because it's planned and we're accountable for it and you've got to be the same with yourself
it's like if you have a child who wants to learn an instrument you will make sure they practice
that instrument and you'll book them in for their exams but when it comes to doing it for themselves
we just think we can go like I remember when I was
younger there was something about it was probably in like Cosmo or something um it was your new
year's eve um like manifestation and it told you to write down the list of your like new year's
goals or whatever new year's resolutions couldn't think of the word yeah and you put it on a piece
of paper and you fold it up and you put it inside your pillow and that was it and then that's it funnily enough i didn't like
get a pony or whatever it was gonna be but you know when you're like that that's not helpful
advice i that work i'm all up for manifestation but manifestation requires action um yeah absolutely
i think that's a mistake yes and that's the whole thing of like
embodying that person you want to be like so my things for this year because I haven't fine-tuned
my um list yet I'm still working on it but one of my things is that I want to spend a bit more time
doing like a skincare regime love it I'm really silly but it's like I figured out that it's one
of those things I'll do on as like a Sunday and literally just like wash my face and put some moisturizer on um but it feels
really luxurious to me yeah yeah and you know habits the more you do them the more they're
ingrained yeah I've I I remember starting my face care regime and now it's just completely
second nature yeah you just do it before you go to bed and then
it's done yeah so it's just it's little things like that but you've just got to start um so yeah
I'm excited I'm still fine-tuning um the rest of my list but maybe by the end of January I'll have
that sorted amazing I love it um also just to add what I would say to do is as well is put a date in your diary for like a quarterly review.
So you're actually checking in on like, OK, where am I up to with this?
Because say you get and you haven't booked any time of work or taken any trips.
It's like that's the kick up the backside. You need to go, OK, cool. I'm going to do this.
That's a great idea. And in fact, I'm going to book that in my calendar so it just
pops up in like three months and sit down with with my husband and go through our goals and see
where we've both reached with them love that idea yeah it's exciting right and already things just
seem like so much more possible yeah you're full of great ideas for this January Sophie well you know every now and then um no I'm actually
really pumped so today um we started I'm doing a little five-day resuit resuit reset um with
my clients um and I set it up today and it's just it's so they're so cute um everyone's been like
putting in like their food prep and like how they're getting ready for the week and we've all got the same targets um just to get ourselves a bit kind of like back into a
routine and back on then back on track but just starting like adulting again like kids are back
to school all the time um so I'm really I will report back next week on how that's gone but yeah
yeah good luck everyone so I mean the real question is are you
okay yes I'm absolutely fine we've had a lovely Christmas um I didn't know how Christmas is with
a baby because it's my first one and I thought oh you must just never get to relax and it just
must be awful but my son is at the age where actually we did get loads of downtime. We did sleep training, which is very controversial, different methods.
But my son now sleeps in his own room.
So far, so good.
You know, it's had its ups and downs.
It's not always been smooth sailing, but I think we did it at the right time, you know,
and actually I'm really, really happy we did it.
So, yeah, things have moved forward.
I get my evenings back.
I get to actually talk to my husband and not have to go to bed at 6 p.m.
So, yeah, I'm very OK. I love this for you.
And maybe that's something we'll kind of touch on next week or the week after the whole sleep training thing,
because it is super controversial, as is anything within the parenting realm.
And I know that I've kind of like been heavily trolled for
it and reddit's full of people saying do it don't do it and all the rest of it and I think
yes the thing is you've got to do what's right for you and by the sounds of it it works a charm and
I have a happy healthy baby so you know no harm has been done for anyone so it's great um yeah well let's head head first into January Sophie I'm excited exactly um
yeah no I'm happy we got the first episode done and dusted and as always thank you to everyone
for tuning in um hopefully your first few weeks of January are going well um please don't forget
to like subscribe share us um and we will be back with you
next week thanks bye