Is She Ok? - Marriage Advice, Toxic Wellness, Stanning Ariana Grande & Christmas Traditions

Episode Date: December 20, 2024

Marriage advice , Check. Our obsession with WICKED (because who isn’t rooting for Elphaba)? Check. Toxic wellness trends and a need for more accountability? Double check. And to top it off—our favourite Christmas traditions. Grab your mince pie, tune in!"

Hi everyone and welcome to the Is She OK? podcast. I'm Chans and I'm Sophie and we're here to unpack life's ups and downs and all the in-betweens. Having the conversations every woman's thinking about but rarely says out loud. Every week we'll chat about topics that really matter, aiming to answer the question we all ask ourselves, she okay hi hey looking very glam thank you it's my wedding anniversary today i know happy anniversary thank you um so i thought i better not look like hagrid or sasquatch today i will take that role for today the eyebrows are eyebrowing i'm trying i like them thick no i like them thick it's just that you can't see on the camera thankfully it's just like okay all the like i've got like three eyebrows at the moment like they're in layers um it's like

great effect of like hair going down like what's the point of this so i can get them threaded next week oh yes okay that makes sense it's so worth it yeah yeah you're gonna feel like a new woman once you get it done yeah like it completely changes your face i know i know for the better definitely i might just leave this in maybe we should just kill off with that no I'm serious this is staying in it's cold keep it keep it should we jump straight in oh let's do it um so I actually wanted to say hey how are you welcome back to like being human thank you so much I'm so sorry about last week thank you so much I was sick and I'm still quite sick the baby is still quite sick but what I've heard is that this is just what

happens you just pass these illnesses round and then when they start nursery it steps up a level and then you just stay sick for like a year or two so yeah then you get hand for a mouth don't you that's gonna be fun I mean I hope not I almost said the f word there because I really don't want it just heads up I'm just. I mean, I'm OK because I'm the kind of sick person who like can be sick and then still get up and look after a kid. My husband. No, he cannot. And I've got a son who I've also noticed has the capacity to be ill like a man, which is, you know, a lot of like weak sobbing and like feeling really sorry for himself and I can see that already at six months so yeah it's gonna be

interesting I mean that's because he's a boy right like I don't it's 100% men but yeah monthly definitely but where I'm feeling okay I'm excited about Christmas um my I'm really enjoying the weaning journey being able to feed my kid is fun now so that's really good what have you tried what are you doing oh my gosh you've tried like 10 to 12 different vegetables already we've done a whole bunch and it's just yeah i'm just having i'm just having fun which is really nice what i never thought i'd hear you say for anyone listening, go back to like episode one through to six. And that is the first time we've heard you excited about feeding your son. And I love that.

I love that for me as well. And my one thing I'll say to anyone who's dealing with a kid who has reflux or any sort of eating, eating issues, spend the money and go to a pediatrician who knows what they're doing. And that will help you yeah that's all i'm gonna say love that solid advice um and sophie how are you are you okay i am okay um so actually on that ask me that again are you okay i am successful so yes right okay so

you know i love like an affirmation and gratitude and all that like woo-woo shit that's actually good and like good for your mental health so I was um doom scrolling earlier um and I came across a reel that I've shared on my stories and it's Tiffany Haddish um and she's um it was just like a 30 second clip and basically an interviewer says to her like how are you and her response is I am successful and I was like yeah of it yeah so that's how we're answering that from now on I mean isn't it funny like I I don't even know if I'd have the balls because it feels like it takes it takes a level of confidence to respond in that way doesn't it yeah because like you can

all like straight away like pick holes in it but we all define our own success um yeah success is getting out and get like getting up in the morning and sometimes success is you know whatever so i got up in the morning i yeah i'm successful so um yeah you are make it um so I basically want to dedicate this um episode to you um I've got a couple of things I want to talk to you about you look scared um one of which is the fact that it is your five-year wedding anniversary today um happy anniversary congrats I don't know what the statistics are but i'm sure there's a massive dropout rate so you've made it this far um so congratulations and um also chani had and i'm gonna get into trouble for saying this because i've obviously been to other friends

weddings um but your wedding was like my favorite oh you have to say that no no no like your indian wedding was like and your white wedding but your indian wedding in particular was just like i mean it was one of the best days of my life so oh that's lovely thanks um yeah so i'm obviously very happy for you but i wanted to ask um what are like some lessons that five years of being married has taught you? Or what like the top five things that you've learned over the five years? So I know I'm putting you on the spot, but I thought I'd do that to you. It's a good question. I think when you've been with someone for a long time because you've been married for five years but we've been together for almost 10 uh you you both change as individuals and i think

something that's been really important for both of us is to is to learn to adapt as your partner grows sometimes people in relationships will grow and they'll grow apart and other times you grow and you grow together and i think we've been really lucky that despite all the ups and downs because our relationship has had so many different types of challenges we've really grown together um and you do that through things like patience listening to each other arguing discussing all of that good stuff but I think that's probably my number one um because I'm I'm highly emotional and my husband is really quite pragmatic and stable but sometimes those roles switch and change um and everything is done with compassion kindness and love in our relationship I love that for you gosh I mean that

was a real on the spot answer but I think that was all right I think we smashed it I love it and so I'm just gonna stop that there and that's the episode I'm gonna go cry for 10 minutes but no I love that like why add anything else so the second thing and again like this is for you um the eras tour Taylor Swift ended her era's tour this week now yeah this tour started on the 17th of March 2023 which is a very long time ago now I was listening to a podcast and I thought this is right up your street I'm not an anti-Swifty I just I'm not well versed in this. So she's done 149 shows. Now there are rumours circulating and basically she ended the show,

like it's all finished. And after like so many like highlights and it's all anyone was talking about in the summer, right? And I want to go back to like, you've been to two shows. Yes. You're such a swifty whore I love that um but like it's come to quite like an underwhelming end and I mean that respectfully so she's finished on 149 shows do we think there's going to be a secret

150th show to really end the talk like Travis Kelsey wasn't there there was no big like there was no big bang yeah I mean it's interesting you say that because I was having this discussion with a friend and we were saying actually the Ears tour probably ended in the right way so there weren't any secret announcements or anything like that, but because she just wanted to keep it about the tour. And actually, there have been surprises and things along the way, but this was very much just for the fans. And she never does anything without intention. So she's ended it this way. There's a big reason she has. And, you know, like we haven't seen Taylor's version of Reputation. That's not come out yet. Everyone was like, it's going to be announced on the last day, etc.

He will have a purpose and a reason and a rationale behind everything. So the only thing I know after being a Swifty for many, many years is just to trust the process. Yeah. Whatever's going to happen is going to happen. I think there's going to be one more show because like none of her friends were there. Like Blake Lively wasn't there like all these things that you'd kind of like that I would want for my last show when it's been such like a big thing for it just to kind of almost slip under the radar like there were months

in the summer it's all anyone was talking about and yeah like I probably I mean I know her music obviously but if you actually put me on the spot and were like, name 10 songs, like I would struggle. Yeah. Like I want to go and see her now. And like, I wish I'd have. I know, I know. Like it was such a big thing.

And I just feel like there has to be, like there is something coming. Yeah, there might be. You never know. It's funny you brought this up because literally just before we logged on today, I was on TikTok watching her going into a children's hospital and like meeting all the kids and i'm not even joking i'm sitting here weeping just watching these videos so i it's

really interesting you've just mentioned it because she's you know she's genuinely and i'm not just saying this because i adore her she's good people like she is a good person the bonuses she gave up like something ridiculous million pounds in bonuses to like staff and crew and all that yeah like yeah amazing and people will criticize and say well yeah because she's made so much money but you can make a lot of money and not do that kind of stuff there's a lot of the wealthiest people in the world who are not doing all of that so you know it takes a special kind of person um yes i'm assuming that's like your dream guest right when we make it big on the podcast number one always always taylor for president taylor for prime minister never say never um you've seen wicked now i've seen wicked now tell me I've seen Wicked now. I have seen Wicked. And you know what?

I don't know anything about Wicked. Me neither. I'm a Wicked virgin. Yeah, same. And I went, A, I went to baby cinema, which I've never done before. So I took my kid with me and I made my husband go. And it was absolutely epic. Brilliant.

Cried. There was a scene, which this is not a spoiler I don't think but where the uh the two leads do a dance together yes that's when I cried this dance I just I was sobbing yeah sobbing yeah same um you know like I cry very easily um like it can take a bit um and I was in the cinema and I went when I was in Madrid and there were three girls sitting next to me and the dance scene started and I don't know what I think it was like the vulnerability and the connection like safer safer like do the right thing and she does it and I think in that moment like the girl next to me just started bawling and

I was like oh crap here we go um and like I just realized you said you don't cry very easily that's true I cried very easily and obviously I cried at that scene yeah um you were crying um like it was just so same like I had no like nostalgia towards Wicked like I knew the story of like The Wizard of Oz, but again, that wasn't like something I really grew up on. But I thought it was so poignant and so like of the moment. Like I don't know when it was written or like the history behind it, but there were massive parallels, A, to like today's politics. But also when I was watching the bit about like the animals not being able to like

teach or explain like that was the holocaust like I was watching it and like obviously for me that like is an extremely emotional and kind of like it's a big thing for me but I was watching it I was like this is the story of like Nazi Germany and what happened to the Jews and to anyone that wasn't kind of like a white blonde German person um that's such an interesting do you know that's such an interesting parallel to draw because I didn't automatically think that but now you're talking about it I'm like I can absolutely see where you're coming from it was I mean it was literally the story of what happened it was kind of yeah you were made to seem like an outcast and you were the devil in kind of disguise and you were suddenly

pushed out of these areas where you you weren't allowed to do these roles anymore it was literally I was sitting there and I was kind of looking around I was like oh like is so I I probably need to do some research um I'd be interested to know if that was intentional or if it was just and I guess it's what happens in any kind of regime and things like that where people who are that they don't want in positions of power are pushed out but I was like wow it's so it's so of the moment and kind of so relevant and yeah just I think that's when art and especially movies become so powerful it's when whoever is watching it can suddenly relate to it and you know you're coming from different backgrounds different experiences but everyone collectively who seems

to be watching this movie is really able to relate to a part of it which is outstanding filmmaking and outstanding acting I have to say yeah I mean I I wouldn't say I'm Ariana I like again with like I have nothing against her I actually really like I'm not like an area Ariana if I can say Ariana Grande fan yeah however I am sick and tired of such an insanely talented woman being like pulled apart in the press. I'm like, she has a vocal range on a par with Mariah Carey. Like she has one. Like, have you seen her do impressions of people? Like she is.

Yeah. Yeah. She's talented. Like off the scale talented. Yeah. And all people can talk about is like her appearance and her relationships and I'm like if that was a man yeah much talent would we be doing this and the answer you know it's it's again it's really interesting you bring this up because I I'm ashamed to say

but I also said something you know when I saw her I was like wow she is really thin like she's lost a lot of weight and I said to my husband I was like do you think she's okay you know, when I saw her, I was like, wow, she is really thin, like she's lost a lot of weight. And I said to my husband, I was like, do you think she's okay? You know, there's that question. Is she okay? And, you know, and then I, obviously, my phone was listening to our conversation, because the next thing that came up on my phone was an interview with Ariana Grande. And she was saying, people are comparing me to what I was. And what I was was not healthy. I was on antidepressants. I was drinking a lot. I was eating badly. She said, I'm actually really healthy now. And people are criticising it because they don't realise where I was back then.

And it shut me up immediately. I was like, cool, you're healthy. You're happy. Great. Yeah. And I just yeah, I mean, it's one of those things. If you're in the public eye, people are always going to talk. But I was just like, can we like have we not learned like have we learned from like other celebrities and like just like let's focus on what like they are capable of and what they're talented for rather than what's going on in their personal lives because at the end of the day like we're not entitled to that information we don't yeah yeah and she's got a voice and yeah love her she smashed it they're both did Cynthia and and Marianne both so talented I will tell you one thing though so because I

didn't really know much about it I was sitting in the cinema and I didn't realize it was two parts so yeah oh as in there's a second movie coming yes so it got to the end of the movie and spoiler if you haven't seen it but sorry um it gets to the end and it flashes up and it's like end of part one or like part two coming soon so I didn't know so I sat there and thought it was going to be like a transitional thing so I'm like a couple of people leave but then the title starts scrolling and there's still some people on there because people like to watch till the end so i'm like a couple of people leave but then the title starts scrolling and there's still some people on there because people like to watch till the end so i'm sitting there looking around like i don't really understand what's happening like is the second part coming maybe there's an interval

i've heard that it was a long film so i'm sitting there like not showing any signs of moving get to the end of the things and i'm like okay there's like one other person in here like i better go but they've opened the door to like the streets so I'm like okay like I'm assuming they're not like going round and coming back in so yeah I sat like the lights came on the person came to clean the cinema and I was like oh I guess I'll be going then um I mean Sophie my god it was about two hours and 45 minutes long how much longer did you want it to be I was I love being in the cinema it's my happy place so yeah that was all right um I basically got chucked out because I was waiting for the second part to kick in um had to google it when I got outside we've got it to come there's something to look

forward to with that one um now the other thing I wanted to bring up um it's not a fitness quick it's not a fitness Q&A this week. I want to talk about, I don't know if you saw it, but the BBC basically came out with an article about Stephen Bartlett, the Diary of a CEO podcast. No, give me, I mean, I've seen that there's something going on with him. I haven't read any of it. So please give me an update. So basically, yesterday was Friday the 13th of December. And I believe it came out yesterday. Don't quote me.

But basically, the BBC released an article and it's of absolutely no shock or surprise to me. But basically, he's finally being called out for having questionable things said and reported as fact on his podcast. So essentially, it's finally being called out for misinformation. Right. And anyone that I know that works in the industry or is a, like, good personal trainer, et cetera, was, like like absolutely zero percent shocked at this um because he is one of many um that have guests on his shows um that say really scary things like um

cancer can be cured through nutrition right and they will have doctors on their show or like researchers. Interestingly, sometimes they will have the title of doctor, but they'll be like a chiropractor. Right. So it's basically, podcasts in the UK aren't regulated. So people can essentially say what they want. And it's up to kind of listeners to use their discretion um to judge whether it's fact or fiction however when you've got someone who is a big personality a trusted person um with a big following um it honestly drives me mad and I think there needs to be more

accountability and more um pressure is not the right word but more yeah I guess pressure on these people to be more accountable for what because at best it's irresponsible yeah it's actually life-threatening and really dangerous yeah um and I just feel like there's this notion that a big following equals trustworthy and accuracy. And whilst it doesn't mean that that's not true, there are plenty of people with big followings who are really trusted and are like should be voices of authority. There's always going to be nuance on the side of things where there's people with big followings who abuse that power and influence yeah yeah but if he is having guests on his show knowing his reach there's a responsibility on him to do better and he should yeah it's interesting because I I really like I mean I I know this is

controversial I actually really like him and I like the way he's come across. I know a lot of people who don't and I have listened to a lot of his podcasts and I think you're right because these people come from a place of authority and I don't know any different. So I'm not from a personal training background or a medical background. I have no knowledge about this. I will often believe what's being fed to me, right? So I'm like, oh, cool. They said sugar levels can be decreased by X, Y, and Z. And I'll go off and I'll be like, okay, I need to really think about this because that's what I end up believing. And you're right, because he's got a big following, because I imagine he's got a team of researchers, because these people come on board and they've got titles like doctor or whatever it is.

For your average person like me we do end up believing it and you're right that's really dangerous because i'm not going to question him but he and his team absolutely should be held accountable if they aren't doing things in the right way because i think his podcast went from being almost more entertainment suddenly there was this shift towards health and lifestyle right that's so that's what I saw yeah like at the end of the day there are big bucks in the wellness and he is a businessman so his started off as um a business an entrepreneur entrepreneurial podcast and it was that kind of platform. But over time, it's moved into the health and wellness space. And he's not, as far as I know, qualified or educated in any way to any level. And maybe it is a thing of he has fallen into the trap himself um you know you're surrounded by an echo chamber of people

who are telling you those things these things and you buy into it and whatever it may be so maybe he's just as much a victim of it as as the rest of us but it's just it's interesting because it's something that I come up against really often and I would question you in the sense of like I would assume that if you heard him and a guest talking about something you would be more likely to take their word for it over mine because oh yeah and I've had this with clients people who trust me and pay me you you know, to be their support system. However, it's very hard for me to assert my authority over someone who is deemed as a public figure with a big presence and a title. And it's so frustrating. And again, I don't blame, I wouldn't blame you or a client for that but it's just that if you're gonna have such a big presence and if you're gonna have this voice of authority

yeah don't talk absolute crap yeah yeah that's as simple as that isn't it really dangerous um yeah like some of the things you know i'll pull up the article some of the things just to give you i mean firstly like he's sponsored by people like zoe and yeah all that kind of shit so i'm already not a massive fan but so in an eight month window some guest builders health experts shared um accurate information but most were spreading misleading claims these included anti-vaccine conspiracies stating that covid was an engineered weapon that and this one hits home for me polycystic ovarian syndrome autism and other disorders can be reversed with diet not true right symptoms can be managed when it comes to pcos but

you can't do what they were doing yeah yeah evidence-based medication is toxic for patients downplaying the success of proven treatments there was stuff to do with kind of like curing cancer through a ketogenic diet that just like dangerous big things so yeah it was just it's interesting um because podcasts um maybe luckily for us are um unregulated we can say what we want um yeah i think again with social media and these kind of things like there needs to be more accountability yeah and steven's you know obviously got one of the biggest but there are hundreds and thousands of podcasts being made every day and how do you regulate how do you police that and in some ways i guess the bigger question is should they be policed does it take away a right to have a conversation about certain things or to hear other opinions but yeah i mean i certainly agree with you i think

absolutely if you're especially especially when it comes to medical advice i think that side of things is really really dangerous if you get it wrong there is a duty of care there is a yeah stay in your lane like you know so yeah that's that's my week for you um christmas so this will be released next week which will be like the 20th of december yes and we were going to have a little bit of chat about just all things festivities um christmas traditions tell me about yours you know since i become a mum it's really interesting because prior to this point i've always when people say oh do you celebrate christmas what do you do for christmas it's always been a big deal for me like i love christmas i love the family getting together. I love obviously I love the food, you know, the presents, the downtime, all of that kind of stuff.

And then you become a mum and you stop you stop talking about it in the this is why I love it. And you start thinking about why is it so special to me? And actually, if I break it down for me, it's because my mum, like the person who did all of those things, the family together create the decorations all of that lovely stuff it came from her and I think often when people love Christmas it's because they've got a caregiver or someone who's made that time very special year on year so I've been thinking a lot about how do I want my Christmases moving forward now that I'm a mother um how do I want them to be and there's so many different facets of it I I really want the family aspect to continue to be there obviously the food all of that kind of stuff but then I was like I don't I don't necessarily want my son to grow up thinking that he's going to get all these luxurious presents every Christmas I want to make sure

there's a balance of us giving things to other people of him and I saw this on social media today of him realizing that actually some of his most expensive gifts or fanciest gifts aren't coming from Santa they're coming from mum and dad um because not every kid is going to get the same thing so you don't want a kid to be like well Santa got him really nice presents why didn't he get me really nice presents um and so I'm starting my kid is just he's not even he's six months so he doesn't have a clue what's going on in fact we're just getting him a couple of toys and we're leaving it at that you know we'll wait for till he's a bit older but crow's myth to me is very much about a bit of magic a lot of family and just time to decompress um and we always do a peaks and troughs so we you know we sit around the table and

we say what was your peak of the year what was your trough of the year which I think I stole from the Kardashians um but I love that it's just a chance to all get together and and and be present and enjoy each other and not think about work and all of these other things um yeah so that's what I've been thinking about a lot recently it's it's how can I bring some of Mamma Sani's magic into my family's Christmases yeah which is yeah I love that because I was going to ask you um like what are some family traditions that you had growing up and then what are some things that you want to introduce either off the back of that or kind of off your own back for Cyrus so yeah I love that is I guess it becomes

you know you can start your own traditions um I think that's so special I also find it really interesting because we're having this conversation as two non-christian yeah um and for two people who actually shouldn't be celebrating Christmas at all like I we go hard on Christmas like yeah you people love Christmas more than me and you and the fact that neither of us are actually Christian um I was thinking about this this morning I was like that's actually hilarious because it is because you know what Christmas becomes something different to each person but I think no go I was just gonna say I think what you said about so firstly like yes we're not Christian

but we grew up in a Christian country so it was avoidable and like even like in primary school things were I didn't go to a religious school of any religion but when I was in school you did kind of like Christmas songs and a Christmas play yeah Christmas postbox so it was just everywhere um and for me like you said like Christmas is just about family like now as an adult even it's my favorite time of the year because I go home for five days and I completely switch off and it's just like five days where me, my sisters, my mum and my dad are together and we're all on our best behaviour. And we eat food and the pressure's off and we go for nice walks. And that is what Christmas is for me. Like we've never done, I've never had like a proper Christmas in the sense of like waking up in the morning and opening presents.

Like we don't do that. But we have our version of Christmas and it's just I just love like I love even now like I love walking home after a day of work and like everyone's got outside their house like it just makes me happy yeah and I think the magic of Christmas just changes as you get older as a kid it's about the presents and you know nativity plays like you said, and decorating the trees and all of that. And then as you grow up, it suddenly starts changing, doesn't it? And it becomes about time away from work, time with your family, time to relax and decompress. And, you know, as you go up the

chain and as you get older, you're then looking down at your kids or grandkids or friends or, you know, all of that kind of stuff. And I think it's just a universal time where those of us who are fortunate enough um just get to really enjoy ourselves and everything slows down a little bit I just think it's very special and like I just I just think there's something really fulsome about it and like I'm very protective over it like no one else can come to my Christmas so I actually started taking over cooking Christmas dinner um a couple of years ago it's my favourite thing to do like that's impressive Sophie I love it I absolutely it's my favourite thing um so yeah I just I'm here for Christmas and all all its toys um question have yorkshire puddings at christmas always okay

so maybe it's because i thought everyone had yorkshire puddings at christmas and i'm speaking to people up here in manchester and they don't have yorkshire puddings not all of them they view it as like a sunday roast thing as opposed to a Christmas day thing interesting Christmas dinner and there was no Yorkshire pudding I'd be whipping yeah stay away from those people you don't need that kind of energy in your life um before we finish though a quick one to put you on the spot what's your peak and what's your trough of the year oh sugar we might have to come back to that because no like I'm I'm serious. Like, I can't answer that on the spot. Okay, okay. Ah, let's come back to that. Yeah, we will come back to that. But off the top of my head, hand on heart, the first thing that came to mind was the peak would be this,

like, starting this podcast with you. Oh, yeah because it's been such a nice thing yeah i just i love it um but yeah maybe i'll have if it's okay i have because yeah i want to do that question it's maybe we do another episode between now and new year's and it can be like a question before the new year rings in yes a hundred%. No, and this podcast has been wicked because Sophie and I have one of those, Sophie and I have one of those friendships where we can go for ages without speaking because she doesn't like her phone very much.

And then whenever we do speak, it just feels like no time has lapsed whatsoever. So we're seeing more of each other than we have in our entire like 100 years of friendship, which is I'm love like I I'm gonna get mushy I'm loving it so much and I do want to say thank you so much to everyone that has listened to episodes and especially people that have made it to the end of the longer ones um because it means so much to me and to Charni. And just like people spending time to listen and to tune in and hopefully to find some kind of inspiration or kind of get some knowledge out of it. Like it just means the world. And on that note,

I am going to ask that if you do enjoy it, it would mean even more if you could share it on your socials so that we can reach even more people and more women and get them talking about you know really important things like the era's tour um yes definitely no just yeah thank you to everyone who's like watched the reels and who's listened to the episodes and like Sophie said please do share it because I'm sure other people want to listen to us ramble on for 40 minutes and plus about crap so yeah it'll be lovely if you could all share it um and just yeah thanks Soph it's been such a lovely a lovely thing to do towards the end of the year so many more episodes to come indeed um and yeah on that note thank you so much for listening um again share on socials

like rate review all the good stuff um and we will see you next week see you later bye