It Can't Just Be Me - Breaking Up with Diet Culture with Laura Adlington
Episode Date: February 5, 2025Anna's guest this week, Laura Adlington, shot to fame as a finalist on the 2020 series of the Great British Bake Off. In the midst of the pandemic, she brought some light in the darkness of that horri...ble year with her sharp wit, especially in the face of culinary disaster (whatever you do, don’t mention ice cream cake).Since then, baking has taken a backseat. These days, she's an outspoken writer, presenter and campaigner around body image. Her Instagram has become a powerful platform encouraging her followers to “get off the hamster wheel of body hatred” – and it’s won her a legion of fans. She talks to Anna about just how early her introduction to diet culture was, the tipping point that made her pursue body neutrality, and how researching her book, Diet Starts Monday, opened her eyes to weight stigma.Every Friday Anna, alongside a panel of experts, will be addressing YOUR dilemmas in our brand new episodes ‘It’s Not Just You'! If you have a dilemma or situation you'd like discussed, reach out to Anna by emailing hello@itcantjustbeme.co.uk or DM her on Instagram @itcantjustbemepod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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In this episode, we'll be talking about weight loss
in a way that could be challenging
if you struggled with disordered eating.
And let's face it, a lot of us do.
And there's some useful links in our show notes
if you'd like some help and advice.
Hello, I'm Anna Richardson and welcome to It Can't Just Be Me. If you've listened before,
hello. And if you're joining me for the very first time, it's great to have you here.
This is the podcast that helps you realise you're not the only one.
It's a safe space where nothing is off limits, as we try to help you understand
that whatever you might be going through, it's really not just you.
So each week I'm joined by a different celebrity guest who will talk through the challenges
and hurdles they've faced in their own lives in order to help you with yours.
I want to know about it all.
The weird, the wonderful, the crazy because these conversations are nothing if not open
and honest.
So, let's get started.
This week I am delighted to welcome to the studio a guest who shot to fame as a finalist
on the 2020 series of the Great British Bake Off. In the midst of the pandemic she brought
some light in the darkness of that horrible year with her sharp wit, especially in the
face of culinary disaster. By the way, whatever you do, just don't mention ice cream cake.
That's all I'm saying. But since then, baking has taken a backseat.
These days, she's an outspoken writer, presenter and campaigner around body image.
Her Instagram has become a powerful platform encouraging her followers to get off the hamster
wheel of body hatred.
And it's won her a legion of fans.
Her book, Diet Starts Monday, has just come out in paperback and it's a
thoroughly researched guide to taking back the power that diet culture can strip away
from us. It is, of course, Laura Adlington. Hello love.
Hello, thanks so much for having me.
Thank you for coming in. It is such a pleasure to see you in all your glory. It's looking
tanned, looking amazing.
It's back from holiday, yeah.
About to go off to a premiere later on I hear.
Yeah, first one, I'm absolutely shitting myself. Bridget James premiere invited me to go on
the red carpet. How mental is that?
I'm livid because I haven't been invited. So I'm a bit like, I'm really jealous and
hating you but at the same time, this is amazing.
Come with me, be my plus one.
It will, do you know what, it will be fantastic. But it is a bit of a thing doing that whole
red carpet thing.
It's scary.
Are you used to it now?
No, not at all.
I live a very normal life.
Like, yeah, I don't do really anything like that.
I like that.
It's going to be so brilliant, Laura, honestly.
So I know we haven't got you for long
because you've got to go and be glammed up.
But before we really get into everything,
just tell me what your, it can't just be me dilemma is.
I have toyed with this, right?
Cause there's so many. I feel like I'm going to get cancelled for this, but, um,
it's not that deep actually, but going on holiday.
Well, hang on.
I know.
It can't just be me.
But going on holiday is shit.
I love you for that.
It's so overrated, right?
They're so expensive.
Yeah.
Like so expensive now.
And then I feel like us Brits, especially we spend so much of our time and
money on making our house our like castle, don't we in our
home and we love our home comforts. To then spend all this
money to go somewhere that is not as nice as your own home.
You haven't got Netflix, you haven't got any like decent
telly. You haven't got a sofa, you've got a shitty old bed that
1000 people already slept in. That's true. Yeah. And the food
isn't as good.
No. And like, what is it with those fucking throw cushions and pillows?
They're never feather.
No, it's the germs for me.
Exactly. But also they're never feather, but they're always stained.
And so it is, again, you're just thinking if you put one of those blue CSI lights on this,
there's something horrific that's gone on. Always, gone on on this bed and the throw cushions.
And what about the whole sort of actual travel and stress of getting to the destination?
Horrific. That is my worst favourite part.
And actually that was going to be my other, it can't just be me, was, you know,
like people at the airport just suck generally.
Like it brings out the absolute worst in people.
And like, why is it that when you're stood around
the carousel waiting for your luggage,
rather than just like step back, kind of keep an eye out,
and when your luggage is there, you kind of go in, no.
They all stand around the fucking thing, like literally,
and they're all like, hen up, and it's not just them either,
it's their husband, their four kids,
like an army of them all waiting for them back.
And what about that whole kind of like security etiquette?
Do you put the big plastic tray back nicely at the end?
Yes, of course I do.
Whereas other people basically just fuck off and leave you to do it.
I know, I hear you.
That's why, you see, I don't fly anymore.
Do you not?
No, I find it so stressful and I find that and then I become really kind of like belligerent
with security where I'm kind of like, why are you checking the underwire on my bra? Well clearly you
know I could be hiding bombs in my shoes so I know that they've got a job to do
I become really kind of like angsty about you know come on so I hate the
whole thing. Yeah it sucks. I'm with you I think that's fabulous I will allow you
that it can't just be me that hates travel. Yeah, okay, we're doing it. Banned, banned.
All right, first things first,
because we've got a lot to talk about.
Can we please discuss Bake Off
and the fact that you were a finalist in the 2020 series.
Congratulations, by the way, on that.
I've been down to set a billion times
because obviously Sue Perkins,
who used to present it, is or was my partner at the time.
So I was always going down there.
But what's interesting for viewers is they see kind of like, you know,
this very idyllic kind of set with flower and aprons
and beautiful Wedgwood crockery.
But it's incredibly stressful for you guys, isn't it?
It's so stressful. Yeah.
And obviously, I don't know what it's like normally, but for us doing it in lockdown,
we were isolated from our friends and family,
living in a hotel for like eight weeks.
Oh really?
No one was allowed in, no one was allowed out.
And it was so intense.
It was like two days of filming, two days of practice,
two days of filming, two days of practice.
And as you'll know, like the filming days,
what is like 10 minutes on TV takes like eight hours to film.
And so you're filming from like six in the morning until nine o'clock at night.
And then you're doing it again the next day.
Like it is knackering and I don't want to sound like I'm grateful.
Like I'm moaning about it, but it's just facts.
It's just, it was really intense.
I mean, that is the nature of television and obviously Bake Off is the biggest,
you know, one of the biggest shows on television, huge, phenomenally successful.
So it's amazing to be a part of it. But yeah,
just the act of filming is exhausting. And then you've thrown the pandemic into it as well. So
you were away from home for eight weeks. Yeah, it was really intense. And on your own, just staying
in your hotel room. So you weren't allowed to socialize at all. We know we were allowed,
we were in a bubble. So we were allowed to socialize with the other like contestants and
stuff. Not so much to create, they kind of kept us separate. Yeah, but we yeah, we were allowed, we were in a bubble, so we were allowed to socialise with the other like contestants and stuff, not so much to create, they kind of kept us separate.
But we yeah, we were allowed to socialise to be fair, because we were we were kind of
bubbled up.
Still tough though, isn't it?
Yeah, really hard, like one of the hardest things ever done, like emotionally and physically
as well.
Really demanding, like constantly being on your feet and you know, doing it.
I'm actually really interested.
I want to sort of go a little bit deeper now about your relationship
With food and in particular with baking and I know that people's relationship with food is complex I've got a very complex relationship with food when I was a kid, you know, I was I was a fat kid
I've always struggled with with food. That's my thing. Yeah, so I'm interested in in your relationship with baking
You are able to bake beautiful things.
You are incredibly good at it.
You became a runner up on one of the biggest shows on television.
So has that given you a sense of control over food?
Or did it give you a sense of control over food?
And particularly given that that food is linked
to pleasure because it's basically baking it's cakes biscuits all the delicious things and linked
to weight so just tell me a little bit more about that i don't think it had any impact really on my
relationship with food because my relationship with food like a lot of people like yourself you
say is very complex and like from a very young age, like food was like emotional,
and it was like reward and punishment in our house. And I think for me, I think I've always
really struggled with like using food as like an emotional buffer, like it's like suppressing
emotions and stuff. I'm sure a therapist would have a field day. I'd still love to find someone
that I could actually talk to. I can 100% put you in touch with them. And this is a real kind of like specialist subject for me.
I've written a lot about this as well. So sorry, I totally interrupted you. Yes, there is always an
emotional link to why we overeat and why that becomes a bit of an addiction if you like.
It was and is still an addiction for me, I think.
Let's let me rewind that question then a little bit
And we'll come back to baking in a second
But let's go back to your childhood because these issues always start in childhood
just tell me a little bit about when you became aware of
food your body and
Shame and what you've said about food was always used as a reward and a punishment.
Just fill me in on that.
So I think I was about eight years old when I started to gain weight basically and I was
bullied at school for it.
My parents were then trying to get me to lose weight and incentivize me, you know, in sort
of everything was done out of love.
I always say this like they did the best they could and they were scared for their kid.
There was no manual back then of how to raise a fat kid.
But it kind of got worse and worse.
By the time I was 11, my mom took me to my first Slimming World group.
Right. I mean, again, I'm just utterly intrigued by all of this, because of course,
you're eight years old.
That isn't your fault that you are eating too much.
That comes down to your parents and your family environment.
So were they were they overfeeding you or were you stealing food?
A bit of both. I think I grew up we didn't have a lot of money growing up.
Yeah.
So I was you know brought up in a lot of beige food like we had turkey twizzlers that kind of thing.
I think as I say like my dad was like obsessed with with food. My mom has had food food issues.
So it was like a real every dinner was like a celebratory kind of like thing of,
and yeah, I think we did overeat definitely as kids.
Let's say there's no blame there on my parents, but like, I don't, I think.
Looking back, I think even they would probably say like, we could have done
things sort of slightly different, but again, they didn't really have the money
to, to feed us like, you know, all the fruits and veg and the healthy stuff from scratch.
So it was more like processed foods.
But I'm interested in the fact that you said your dad was obsessed with food.
What do you mean?
Just loved food like still does and real chocolate.
Don't think he's ever gone a day without chocolate.
Yeah.
Yeah. And I think it just obviously, I think, you know, I've done a lot of research myself into why I over eat and why I am the way I am and I think some of it is genetics, but a lot of it is socio economic reasons. It's your family is how you've been brought up around food. And like you say, it's, it's not just food, is it like for loads of us, most of us, I would say, there's an emotional connection there.
there's an emotional connection there? 100 percent. I mean, you know, I know that to be a fact.
That is just 100 percent factual that it is an emotional connection
to why we either overeat or we starve ourselves.
So do you think for you, you're saying, look, socioeconomic issues,
dad absolutely obsessed with food, loves his food,
we had a lot of beige food, we had a lot of that food,
and meal times were celebratory.
So it was like, come on kids, let's feast.
Yeah. And also my mom was always like typical like diet culture mom. So like we'd be having
like turkey twillers or even just like a race dinner or whatever. And she would have plain
like boiled chicken with vegetables, maybe a little bit of ketchup because she was being
good. Yeah. And I think that had an effect on me as well
because she was always on a diet.
And I think from a really young age,
and especially going to Slimming World,
it was like, oh, this is what I'm supposed to do as a woman.
I'm supposed to hate myself.
I'm supposed to shrink myself.
I'm supposed to eat this weird diet of red and green days.
And I'm supposed to just live this life
that is just shit basically, because I'm a woman.
Yeah, well, I mean, you were getting a lot of mixed messages
when you're at home with,
on the one hand, food is a celebration,
and it's wonderful, let's all dig in,
and your dad loves it, and then on the other hand,
your mom is abstemious and trying to fade herself
into kind of like nothing.
So for a child, that's real, real mixed messages.
Have you got any siblings?
Yeah, I've got a brother.
And did he struggle with his weight?
No, so really interestingly, he's really, really fit.
So he does like, he's like captain of the rowing team.
He's like quite into his health and nutrition.
And he's never had an issue with food.
And we've had, you know, like a few crosswords
over the years about it.
Cause I think, I don't think, I think for a lot of people,
unless you have been in a bigger body,
and unless you have experienced food addiction,
I don't think people really understand what it's like.
I do wonder there whether,
cause again, you can say like, oh, it's genetics,
but then if it was that,
then surely he would have a problem with food.
I don't know if it's cause I was a girl.
And like, I just don't know.
But I do find it really funny that he's literally the opposite of me in every way.
Absolutely. I mean, there is we know that, you know, there is that cultural stigma,
isn't it, for women that you need to be slim.
So here you are, a child getting bigger and bigger and bigger.
You realize that you were getting bigger at around eight.
You were getting teased at school.
And then at 11, your mum takes you to your first slimming club.
How did that make you feel?
I think at the time I was, I've always found small talk in general, and especially
diet talk really, really fucking banal and boring and think you've, you're a
woman, you've got a brain like why on earth are you like you like, are you reducing yourself to your weight?
So I've always found it really boring. But I do think that in that moment, I was sort of,
I kind of just went along with it. And I think like a lot of us do, I was thinking,
I was reluctant to go, but when I did go and join, I started, I did actually lose weight.
And I was like, oh my God, this is it.
My life is gonna start now.
Laura version 2.0, like it's gonna be like better,
healthier, she's gonna have boyfriends
and like have like a great like social life
and be more confident and fit into Tammie girl clothes
and Topshop clothes.
And I literally had this idea in my head
that my life would be completely different
and I would be a different and better person
if I was thinner.
Yeah.
And it wasn't about health as well.
It was about thinness.
Yeah.
I think that really sort of a hundred percent with me.
It wasn't about health that club.
So it was a real eye-opener, but yeah, originally I did lose weight
and then I just got bored.
I couldn't, and I couldn't keep up with it.
I didn't like the restriction.
The restriction made me want to binge.
Yeah. And I know now from the research I've done that that's what happens. You diet restrict binge cycle
It's very very common
But I beat myself up and I beat myself up by abusing food and abusing myself and what was food doing for you
so was it a comfort for you then because as you say if we restrict ourselves you then want to go and and
Fill that hole you want to go and comfort yourself by eating. So have you identified what it was that when you felt hungry after restricting yourself, was it
a reward? Was it a comfort? What do you think it was?
I think it was a comfort and still is a comfort when I'm feeling down, I still will turn to
food. But then what happens is I'll then sometimes I don't actually
binge anymore. I've actually feel like I've kind of got that
under wraps a little bit, but I will still like indulging and
then have like my chocolate and puddings and treats and stuff.
But I used to like really binge and then the come would come the
feelings of like, I hate myself. I'm disgusting. I should be
dead. Like awful. Yeah.
Out of interest. Did your mum and dad argue at home about your weight?
Yeah, always. It's a constant source of...
Yeah, there was a lot of arguments around that and actually a lot of my childhood rolled around
avoiding the conflict of it being brought up to me and between them.
And then did you think that it was somehow your fault?
Yeah, I literally thought I was a freak because all my friends were like small and tiny and
didn't seem to have the appetite that I did.
And it was just I didn't want it to be the big thing that it was.
Yeah, I always say like I didn't just have a body.
I was my body.
I was very defined by it because like you're a fat kid and you know, you can't fit in your
school uniform like you're a walking kid and you know, you can't fit in your school uniform. Like you're a walking target, aren't you?
And that's the thing when you're bigger is you're,
I always say that you're both hyper visible and invisible
because like to society you're invisible,
which don't matter, you're insignificant,
but you literally walk down the road and you,
and everyone's aware, you're sort of wearing your trauma,
I feel like, in your body.
100%.
I've heard you say actually in some of the podcasts that you've done
That the stigma of being labeled fat is more damaging than being overweight itself
Which was a massive light bulb moment for me and completely make sense
So where did you find out about that because that's quite an extraordinary fact, isn't it?
Yeah, I actually found that out while I was doing research my book dieticides Monday
And there were some clinical studies that are done. I think think there was a university in Canada that basically said that weight
stigma has more of a detrimental impact on your health than like additional weight itself.
And actually it's the cause of eating disorders. So not only like being overweight, but bulimia
and anorexia as well. If people are mentioning your body, your weight, like so for people
that with anorexia, if they're congratulated for how good they look, it just, it fuels
it. It actually makes, obviously makes it worse. But I find that so fascinating. So
effectively, what we're saying in terms of the metrics of weight trauma, we're saying
that this can cause PTSD basically for people. Do you know I can completely identify with what
you're saying Laura because like I say I was a fat kid and it's really
interesting that my dad like your dad loves food right came from a working
class background where there was no money and there was a bit of trauma in
his background he lost his dad you know a very young age and my dad can eat for
Britain and even though now he's much older, he's
diabetic, all the rest of it, he still wants to you know just stuff his face
with doughnuts and cream cakes. It brings him comfort and I was brought up around
that and we were absolutely like you brought up around. We needed to have a
lot of food in order, in order, I don't know,
to kind of like be worthy in a way that it was sort of,
if we've got enough food on the table,
then somehow we're gonna be good enough and sated
and everything's gonna be okay.
Okay.
I found out what my link was.
I was gonna ask you what changed.
So, right, so what changed was I ended up going to see
this incredible, I've talked about this quite quite a lot but I went to go to
this incredible hypnotherapist called Marisa Peer. Oh I've heard of her. She's
amazing and I was doing a show for Channel 4 called Super Size Super Skinny.
Yeah, I know the one. Right and every week I had to go and try a different diet to try and lose
weight and then report back to the audience and this one particular week I
was sent off to go and try dieting through hypnosis. Off I went to try and lose weight and then report back to the audience. And this one particular week, I was sent off to go and try dieting through hypnosis.
Off I went to go and see Marissa.
And I can remember distinctly standing outside her house with the crew and going,
this is going to be a load of bullshit. Right.
I went in there.
She put me under an inverted comers and she asked me to go
right back to the moment where I first
had an issue with with food and overeating oh my god my life flashed
before me really and I went back to four years old and my mum had been taken into
hospital to have my little brother and she was really sick and she was there
for weeks so I woke up as a four-year-old one morning and my mum had
gone and my dad was
left to try and feed me and my older brother. And I was so traumatized by the fact that
my mum had disappeared and we used to go and visit her in hospital and you know, she was
clearly sort of very unwell at the time and I didn't understand. But my dad to try and
comfort us, he'd feed us chips and jelly. Right. And so I...
Together?
Yeah, exactly.
Pretty much.
On the same plate?
Pretty much.
It was like, I remember massive adult portions of takeaway chips.
I still fucking love chips.
Takeaway chips, jelly, right?
Like watered down cider and just fish finger and just bean.
And I got massive.
And my mum was like, I'd go in and visit her and I just got bigger and bigger and bigger and I was clearly quite traumatized
because she says that I used to stand in the corner and wash my hands and sing
yummy yummy yummy there's room in my tummy for some more fucking mental
mental four-year-old just getting really fat but so I was able to make the
link that my dad was trying to fill that hole
Of me being a scared kid with food
So now I associate food with love and that if I'm scared or upset like you've mentioned
Yeah, if I'm depressed, I'm low. I don't feel good enough. I'll eat
Yeah, so I totally get the whole thing about the stigma of and then you get judged, don't you?
For oh, you've put a little bit of weight on and then of course you have the when you went to Slimming World
were you then congratulated for losing weight?
Oh, yeah, so much even though I was miserable.
Yeah.
And I got the whole like, oh, you got such a pretty face.
You'd be so pretty once you've lost the weight.
Well, I just fuck off Karen.
I know.
Yeah, exactly.
It's always Karen, isn't it?
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When the auditions for Bake Off were happening, you were just a few days from having bariatric
surgery.
I was, yeah.
Right.
Fill me in about that.
Why did you go to that extreme and ultimately, why did you decide against it?
There is a few reasons.
I think I really had reached a point where I thought I tried everything and I really
was desperate to have a baby and I was told that I would need to lose like 12 stone to qualify for IVF on the NHS.
Wow. At the time we didn't have any money.
My husband was my partner at the time was a PCSO.
I didn't really like was earning like not a great salary.
I was working for a water company.
We couldn't afford to go like privately to have IVF.
And I kind of just given up on my hopes on a baby, really.
But it had been sort of five years of trying. And I and I was like right I'm going to just have the surgery and then I think
it was three days before you have to go on this like liver reduction diet when you have bariatric
surgery and so you're on probably between three and five hundred calories a day. Oh my god. And
I'd done it for a week and a bit and I was. And I was, you can imagine, I was utterly miserable.
I was exhausted, I felt really ill.
And I went to the petrol station
to get to fill up my car.
And I, you know, I'm not proud to admit this,
but I went and just put loads of like junk food.
Of course you would.
Sat and binged it.
And I realized at that point
that they were gonna staple my stomach
and sort all that out,
but it wasn't gonna fix my head.
And I learned that a lot of people have displacement
addictions after surgery, like they'll turn to smoking
or drugs or alcohol, whatever.
And I just thought, this just isn't for me.
And I just knew in my gut it wasn't for me.
And I'm actually really glad that I didn't do it,
to be honest.
Absolutely.
And it's really interesting that you were able
to make that association that, yes,
it might be fixing my stomach, but it's not fixing my head
Yeah, and why I've got this association with with food as punishment and reward
So you've now absolutely
Totally reclaimed your body and in your book diet starts Monday such a brilliant title
So you advocate for us separating ourselves from diet culture and in the
process reconnecting with our bodies. So for those people that haven't read the
book just tell us a little bit more about what you mean. I think what I wanted
with the books, the first half of the book is really all about the powers at
play that make us as women feel like shit about ourselves. So I'm looking at
like the media and the role that the media has to play in that and like TV shows and film and how we depicted magazines and representation
diet culture, the diet industries, all of the factors at play and like even like as a society
how fat phobic we are. I really wanted to kind of do a deep dive and say like this is why you
have been kind of made to feel this way.
And then I talk a lot about in the second half about how to reclaim that and
looking at the, you know, the body positivity movement and how it's actually a little bit problematic.
And I think, you know, the book is not like a magic cure at all.
Like there isn't one, but for me, I just really wanted to outlay, like, this is
what you're up against, please don't beat yourself up so much and please don't
diet like they're just not worth it,
they don't work.
And be healthy, and that's the other thing
I think people will probably read in the book
or that will glance at my Instagram and go,
oh, she's promoting obesity or whatever.
I'm really not, like I just think you should just live,
live a happy life as you are.
And for me, I actually think if I hadn't of Yo-Yo dieted
all my life, I probably wouldn't be this big now and probably might be a bit happier.
I wish I'd known then.
Yeah. What I know now.
I'm really interested that you say that you get a lot of flack for people saying
that, you know, you're promoting obesity.
Do you get trolled a lot? Yeah.
It's not as bad, actually.
I don't know if it's because Instagram has changed its sort of algorithm or what.
It was bad, like after Bayhoff and even up to sort of like a year
or two ago it was pretty bad and it's always men. But what people basically criticizing you
and bullying you over weight, so being fat is? Yeah it's the the message that I get the most
is stop promoting obesity. Wow. And what I say back to them is I'm not promoting obesity, I'm just fat and don't hate myself and I think that's what people
don't like. Yeah. And that's not to say that I don't wouldn't want to be smaller,
I actually would, my life would be easier, I would actually like to be a bit
healthier and I don't claim to be healthy but that said I don't have any
health issues, I'm just not physically very fit. So Laura, you see this is so
fascinating isn't it and it's so complex because you're on the one hand saying, I accept the body that I'm in.
I actually promote that acceptance and good for you, by the way.
I fully I'm on board with what you're saying there.
But at the same time, you're saying, but you know what?
I wish I was a little bit healthier and I would like to be slimmer.
Yeah. So there's something going on there, isn't there for you?
Yeah. And I know that I think some people find that very contradictory and I do
get that, but I think I'm just being honest.
Yeah.
Like I would like to be smaller, but I'm not going to hate myself in the meantime.
And also I've tried every single diet.
Of course. But do you know why you want to be smaller?
I think for me, I think sometimes, and again, that's something I kind of like
I've questioned over the years is like, why?
Is it because of the patriarchy
and because of diet culture and diet standards?
I think for me, I just think like things like
I love my fashion, it's really hard to buy clothes
when you're bigger.
Things like coming up on the train today,
you know, like sitting next to someone
and they kind of like, oh,
because they're sitting next to that girl.
Oh no, oh seriously?
You know, like it's just things like that.
I think, oh, that would, you know,
but I have no desire to be, to be skinny.
Yeah. Genuinely.
I just want to feel like maybe like the best
and healthiest version of myself.
And I'll be honest and sit here and say like,
I'm still a work in progress.
I am so much healthier and like generally really happy
in my skin.
I don't binge anymore.
And I've, I learned so much just from doing like my podcast and doing the research book. But I'm still
yeah, I'm still I'm not quite, you're not where you want to be. So you haven't
quite cracked the code of why is it that I'm using food in a sort of disordered
way that yeah, I think I've still definitely struggled with disordered
eating. And I think as well, like the rise of like the ism pic and these GLP one
medications as well. For like we've like the Azempic and these GLP-1 medications as well,
feel like we've seen a real movement back
towards this kind of 90s heroin chic.
And I'd be honest, it has had a bit of an effect on me.
And I've kind of looking at a lot of people
that have lost a lot of weight, like, you know,
I feel like Alison Hammond, who was a role model for me,
like Lizzo, losing so much weight.
And you sort of go like, oh, like shit, like, should I be?
And are you tempted to try one of the weight loss jabs? So losing so much weight and you sort of go like, oh, like shit, like should I be doing
that?
And are you tempted to try one of the weight loss jabs?
I have been, I'll be completely honest, but they have the moment they've only been licensed
for use after two years.
Yeah.
What happens after that?
We don't know what the long term effects are, do we?
We don't.
And also, you know, once all the research shows once you stop taking and you put the
weight back on, they're really just a fad diet in an injection form.
And as you say, you have also got to get to the psychological basis of why am I
doing this to myself in terms of disordered eating. So I mean the whole
thing is utterly fascinating. Let's talk about body neutrality versus body
positivity because I know that body positivity tends to get
a little bit hijacked, doesn't it, on social media
with everybody kind of going, yeah, you know,
it's fine to be sort of like fat and looking fabulous
and just own your body and all the rest of it.
But you are not necessarily a fan of that
and you go more for body neutrality.
Explain that to us.
So body positivity movement was actually founded
in the 60s.
Black, fat, queer women.
It was like marginalized women, but mainly like it was basically for equal rights.
It was a political movement for equal rights for fat people.
And like mainly women of color, especially very dark skinned women who were felt like they were underrepresented in the workforce and marginalized.
It then got commercialized in the 90s and then it got kind of whitewashed
and hijacked a little bit.
And now it actually kind of alienates the very people that it was designed by and for,
which I find quite sad.
A lot of people think like modern day body positivity is, oh, I love myself.
I love my roles. I love my cellulite.
It's not it was never about that, but that's what people think of it.
And that's why I don't really associate myself with the body positivity movement.
I've got you. So originally the body positivity movement was about acceptance and visibility.
And equal rights.
Exactly. So I exist and I deserve equal rights.
But now people have hijacked it to be, look at me, I'm fat and I love my roles.
Yeah. Okay. And I don't really like that to be honest with you.
And I actually don't think it's realistic to look in the mirror every day and love
what you see. So with body neutrality, it's very much of like,
I have a body and so does everyone else. I have a body and that is the way I look
is the least interesting thing about me. And that's really hard actually.
And I will also say that that's really hard when you've got a disability or a
visible difference. It's very hard to to neutral about your body when it's maybe in inhibiting you or it's kind of you know
Outward-facing like people will judge you for it or you know, make kind of assumptions
But really in essence, it is just kind of like focusing on function over form
So I don't you know, my legs I came like not like them because they're lumpy
Oh, it's fine because I can what I can get safe they work they work and so I think for
me focusing on body neutrality and I think for a lot of women it has really
really helped rather than this I feel like unattainable goal of I must love
how I look yes I think that's that's really interesting actually a good kind
of like mindset shift isn't it of going you don't have to love the way you look
just accept that this is a body that you're in
and thank God it works actually.
So I still want to go back, let's loop back to baking
and that original question over in terms of baking,
these beautiful sweet foods
that you are so brilliant at making.
Can you see the link there?
And who taught you to bake?
So my mom was actually a good baker growing up
and not sure if she still is,
but I actually taught myself on YouTube.
I think at the time I was really unhappy
because we were trying for a baby, it wasn't happening.
And I was in a really, really bad place. like to the point where I wasn't going to kill
myself but I was like, I don't want to be here anymore.
And for baking, so baking for me was a way of like, you know, a bit of a release and
like a hobby which turned into like a passion.
I'd be up at like two in the morning on YouTube looking at like how to make bread rise and
that.
But isn't it interesting that you chose the foods that are associated with sweetness and
you know abundance and bigness? Does that make sense?
I haven't thought about that to be honest with you.
Yeah because when I when we were doing the research when I was reading about you I'm like
that is really fascinating that you have become an expert and brilliant at something that
ultimately is so beautiful but it's also potentially harming you. Yeah, I don't
feel like that. Isn't that interesting? Yeah, I know you're right, it is. Can we please
discuss moving swiftly diametrically across to shapewear? Can we please talk
about your hatred of shapewear? Oh they just honestly, what's the point of them?
Oh, I love a bit of shapewear.
Do you know what I've moved into?
I've moved into a girdle.
No.
I love a onesie.
Right.
You know how like your nan would always have like the full girdle?
I love a girdle.
I feel like I want to see it.
Oh my god, it's amazing.
I'll show you after.
It's all albino because I'm struggling now with like pants and a bra
and especially I have to wear kind of like a quite high waisted pants because
otherwise everything just spills out including now I'm realizing that I think
maybe even my fanny now spills out pants I know what's happened I think it's maybe
a middle-aged thing where you can no longer contain your actual minge so
whereas a girdle will keep it in check.
Let me tell you, you're gonna reach that point, Laura.
Let me tell you.
I'm telling you now, you couldn't pay me.
Oh, come back to me in 10 years
and you'll be in a onesie girdle.
But, so I've moved out of having really nice,
like, you know, like little mini pants,
like bikini, you know, bikini pants and lovely bra,
full girdle, but I do like a bit of shapewear.
No?
There's nothing wrong with that.
If it makes you feel better, I think go for it.
For me, I just remember wearing it shapewear
to my friend's wedding and I nearly shit myself
and I said never again.
How?
And they went, because they're so restrictive.
Do you not find them restrictive on your belly?
Yeah, but I quite like that.
I mean, what does that say?
Yeah.
But you nearly shat yourself.
Yeah.
How? I think I might have done, maybe I did it.
It actually happened.
Probably, yeah.
Could you not roll them down?
What were you wearing?
A dress, I think, like a, you know, in like scuba dresses.
Oh, yeah.
And I just remember, yeah, literally peeling them off me.
Like a condom.
Literally like a condom.
He's probably pissed.
He's shit-weared pants and put them in the sanitary bin in the toilet.
Good for you.
And then a member in my head saying, never again.
I'm not doing the shapewear ever again. I do, I like a bit of shapewear.
Alright, so you obviously want to see change when it comes to how we perceive people and their bodies. What do you think we should be teaching our kids in terms of, you know,
being healthy around their body and around food. And also is it gendered?
Does that make sense?
Yeah, no, it definitely makes sense. I think there's a really good book.
I actually always recommend by her name's Molly Forbes and it's called body happy
kids.
And she talks a lot about raising body neutral kids.
And I think the thing that she really recommends
is you don't make food an issue.
You don't comment on their weight.
Obviously it's up to you to provide healthy,
nutritious food for your kid.
And it's up to them whether they eat it or not.
But you don't say, we know we don't really shouldn't
be classing food as like good and bad, treat food,
like that kind of thing.
It should just be very much of like a non-issue.
And I think we need to be putting the emphasis on exercise for health,
physical health and mental health. Because for me, I don't know about you,
but growing up, exercise was always just a punishment or a way to burn food and calories.
Yeah, no, definitely. So we're saying that actually exercise equals, it should be fun.
You're going out there to move your body and actually enjoy yourself rather than I've got to burn off that doughnut.
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I think we've got a lot of work to do to break the kind of like intergenerational cycle of diet culture.
But the other the main the most important thing if you've got kids is how you talk about your body and other people's bodies around your children because they take that in.
And I watched this really good reel the other day.
It was saying, if you're saying to your kid,
you've got to brush your teeth because of this
and they listen to you about everything.
And if you're then standing in the mirror going,
oh, I hate myself, look at my stomach, I'm so ugly.
They are then gonna internalize that and go,
okay, right, yeah, big tummy, ugly, no, yeah,
that's not good.
So and then, you know, if you're commenting on obviously,
Sharon, she's put on weight.
What a heifer.
That's not cool.
It feels to me like more than ever before, actually, culturally,
we are being incredibly judgmental about people's sight.
And just in terms of that body positivity thing,
it feels like we're going full circle around the other way
and then celebrating thinness again,
and extreme thinness again.
And again, just going back to the whole,
the rise of the skinny jabs and you know,
you just have to look at fashion week
to see sort of the extreme thinness again.
It's sort of come full circle, hasn't it?
With celebrating being nothing.
Yeah.
Reducing women to adjust their bodies again and really fucking hate it.
On that note, let's take a quick break here, but don't go anywhere Laura,
because in a moment, I'm going to ask you to pick a question from my little box of truth.
And I have got no worries about you doing this.
All you've got to do is pick a question and answer honestly.
I can see you're gonna be able to do it.
Brill.
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Eastern. Research and supplies. See full terms at canada.casino.famil.com. Please play responsibly. Welcome back to It Can't Just Be Me and my glorious guest Laura Adlington and it's
time for the It Can't just be me box of truth.
The moment when some guests start to schvitz a little bit. In front of you is a pack of cards
containing random personal questions. All you've got to do is pick one and answer honestly. Okay.
You okay? Yeah. Brilliant. Really? Pick away, grab it. Try and answer me with the mic.
Okay.
In what ways might you be a difficult person to work with or for?
Oh, that's interesting.
Oh, oh, you have to ask my friend Lottie, who I work with all the time.
She probably says I was a pain in the ass.
What? So, okay.
If she, if you think that she would say you're a pain in the arse, it's interesting that you're already putting yourself down.
Why do you think she would say you're a pain in the arse?
Oh, I don't know. You know it's like when you just work with someone like-
Well, what do you think you're like?
I think I'm probably a good person to work with because I like, I actually think and maybe it's like, again, self esteem
issues, but I think I'm too amenable. So like, if someone
has an idea, like if and then I'm a bit like, oh, and I'm just
like, Yeah, okay. And I'll like go with it, which probably is
actually quite annoying, isn't it? Because you maybe want
someone to be a bit more assertive. But
so do you think that maybe at work, you're not very assertive that you'll just go along?
No, actually, I'm not. Sorry. We start that one again.
How might I do? You know what I think?
And I'm only like, I don't know if it's just as you get older, but I really I hate injustice and I will call out bullshit when I see it.
Fair enough. My dad always says like, oh, so woke.
I don't I don't take it as an insult. I'm like yeah, like great, I'm just calling out bad shit.
So to work with you call out the bullshit. Yeah. Okay. That'd be annoying. No, I don't know. I mean,
I fully support that. I think it makes you difficult. It may, but it also can make you a
scapegoat. But I will always be the person, I'm with you on this Laura, I'll always be the person
that will go fucking bullshit right over there and I'm a
sucker for an underdog as well are you so if anyone's being like bullied or yeah
like I can't I will not part with that even if it like gets me into shit I love
you for that oh Laura thank you very much did you sound like a wonderful
person to work with and what about, if someone's working for you,
what are you like?
I actually was a manager before I started doing
all this weird like Instagram stuff.
I was a really bad manager because I wasn't very good
at like being like disciplined with them.
Like, and I just thought that I treated them
more like friends, I think.
Right, that is the-
I let them all cove me a little bit.
That's the most difficult thing, isn't it?
It's really hard.
I used to manage teams and I went from being like part of the team
to then being like you know the manager or the boss of the team
and it's difficult isn't it because you just want to sort of like muck in
and have a bit of a laugh with your mates.
Yeah and you can't.
You can't and suddenly you happen to bollock somebody
and it's a bit like oh this is weird.
Yeah I was rubbish at that.
I can honestly say like not me being you know
like just like mean to myself like I was a really that. I can honestly say like not me being, you know, like just like mean to myself.
Like I was a really, really bad manager.
You haven't done the work.
Oh, that's okay.
It's okay, it's fine.
Don't worry.
I'll do it.
That's fine.
Let's go and put our Spanx on.
I'll show you where.
Laura, thank you so much for joining us today.
It's been such a pleasure to talk to you.
And I've just loved the fact that you've been so open
and so honest and so complex actually. the fact that you're saying look I'm
a work in progress I can't figure myself out but I'm on that journey. You've been
incredibly inspiring as well and I know that lots of people listening will feel
the same way so thank you thank you thank you. Before you go and you're going
off to your Bridget Jones Prem, what one piece of advice would you leave us with
before you leave?
I would just say to anybody,
like don't waste your life's purpose,
worried about some arbitrary number on a scale,
you know, in your jeans or label in your dress,
like you're so much more than your body.
And I think, you know, be kind to yourself,
be kind to your body and live a life that makes you happy.
["The Last Supper"] and live a life that makes you happy. That's it for today, but I'll be back next week with a brand new episode of It Can't
Just Be Me. But in the meantime, I also want to hear from you, because this Friday you
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