It Can't Just Be Me - Introducing: Go Love Yourself

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

We've got a little treat for you before Anna is back to solve more of your dilemmas and prove that it's not just you.This is an episode of Go Love Yourself, an award-winning podcast that’s helping us love ourselves a little more. You might know its host, Laura Adlington, from the 2020 Bake Off final. Along with her best mate Lauren, Laura is unlearning everything she's been taught about body image, acceptance and confidence.This episode is about the effect that magazines have had on our body image and what we can do to repair the damage - we think you'll love it.You can find Go Love Yourself wherever you're listening to this.___________________________________Have questions about sex? Divorce? Motherhood? Menopause? Mental health? With no topic off limits, Anna’s here to prove that whatever you’re going through, it’s not just you.If you have a dilemma you’d like unpacked, visit itcantjustbeme.co.uk and record a voice note. Or tell Anna all about it in an email to [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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girls at Go Love Yourself. If you don't know, Go Love Yourself is the award-winning podcast that's helping us to, well, love ourselves a little bit more. It's hosted by Laura Adlington, who you might know from Bake Off, and her best mate Lauren. They're unlearning everything that they've been taught about body image, acceptance and confidence. From self-love to the other kind of self-love, they're here to help you feel happier about yourself. This episode is about the effect that magazines have had on our body image. episode is about the effect that magazines have had on our body image. It's no secret that those mags from the 90s and 2000s wreaked havoc on our mental health that many of us are only just coming to terms with today. Despite the serious subject, Laura and Lauren handle it with humour and I think

that you're going to love it. Join them every Tuesday by searching for Go Love Yourself wherever you're listening to this. And in the meantime, enjoy this taster. Welcome to Go Love Yourself. So Lauren, you had a very wholesome weekend recently, I saw, and you also broke your Strict dancing virginity congratulations how was it for you I did both simultaneously a little while ago I went away for a weekend with some of my uni girls and there was just four of us and we went to one of my it's like a house that my friend's family has uh in Felixstowe never heard of it shout out to everyone in felixstowe the same it's near ips which apparently i didn't honestly you know when you this is such like a such a thing like when

you just drive in the car and you stick on google maps i knew i drove two hours i couldn't tell you in what direction and where and why and where i was girl sat now it's girl math but girl maps yeah got it love it girl maps yeah girl maps is uh you put it in google maps or ways or wherever and just end up where you are and you've got no clue um but it was really cute and we just we it's so funny we were giggling about the fact that our if anyone's got uni friends i don't know this is like specific to ours because we were heavy drinkers back in the day like loved it we went out five nights a week kind of thing and every time we've ever caught up and meet up it's like how drunk can we all get right that is basically the aim of the game and then this time it was over two over three days two nights we drank two bottles of prosecco which is really really, you know, woohoo. And we just, we walked

and talked and we went for walks on the beach and we went crabbing, which I've never done before. We had lovely food and we had a night in and it was just so lovely. And what was so sweet is that again, sort of watching your friendships as you get older, mature as well. So going from, you know, talking about sex on night on bottomless brunches to you know having a night in and talking about you know still sex but also talking about health in terms of like you know worrying about our parents health but also girls have you checked your breasts yet and and talking about smear tests and talking about money and talking about really serious subjects with your girls and it was just really incredible so

if anyone's in a position where they're able to do something like that it was so wholesome and it kind of brought me back to life a little bit after a very busy week that's amazing that's so nice you know we we always speak about like how the value of having good friendships and not just hi hun how are you friendships yeah and i think yeah so good for the soul yeah so shout out to my girls who literally it was just so much fun absolutely loved it but yeah strictly hold on let's go back to strictly i feel like every time i tell anyone i have never watched strictly they're shocked because how how on brand is strictly for me so i watched it for the first time and i loved it mostly because i'm in love with bobby brazier i think everyone's in love with bobby he he's there's something about him isn't there yeah he's so cute he's just so sweet

and it's so glittery and it was the the particular episode on um or the particular week i'm talking about was movie week and they started it with like a a dance a disney dance for 100 years of disney crime wise out you got me i'm real did everybody so it was great so it was really lovely i'm glad you enjoyed it and have you succumbed to the um the big brother mania i haven't yet have you i did watch the launch episode but i don't i'm the same with like most shows i don't know if anyone can relate to this but bake off strictly and big brother any kind of show like that i'm not really interested in those like the early episodes where it's just it's a little bit chaotic and you don't everyone's just

playing up for the cameras and stuff I like it when once they've all settled in you get to know there's less of them you get to know them a little bit more but I did watch it and I was quite pleased with the kind of the representation there I think it's they've got quite a nice mix I personally think they might struggle with kind of recapturing the magic that was Big Brother back in the heyday but back before we had social media back before we had kind of people that wanted to be famous like desperately by being on tv because it's a different world we live in now and I sort of was watching the first bit of it and thinking yep like got your card it's not gonna be the same it's not gonna be the same and did you watch it back in the day i did

but i remember when the first series came out my mum and dad i'm sure they won't be saying but they were like not party people right they were in bed by nine quite quite boring by their own admission they were obsessed and they would wait up until 10 o'clock to watch big brother which was like a big thing for them and my dad like again like now you're like he hates reality tv anything like that they were obsessed this was like nasty it was it was revolutionary in 2000 like stop yeah so do you remember that they used to have on i can't remember what channel i'm assuming channel four or or whatever additional channel it was at the time, they used to have like a 24 hour live stream.

So you would honestly be awake at 3am and you'd, I mean, I wouldn't get in from a night out, I was 12. But if you were awake at 3am, you could turn on Channel 4 and they'd all be sleeping. You just watch it. I do remember that. And I think I actually remember watching it. Yeah, people were so invested. Yes. Madness. Madness madness madness mate i loved it it was so so good it was iconic in the day yeah oh yeah i don't know i'm not sure about this new one but we'll wait and see i am however

really loving alice and hammond on bake off i feel like isn't she i feel like she it feels really natural like a really really good fit and it's like she's been doing it for years and I read somewhere someone said that she's given the show some much needed warmth

to the show and heart and I thought actually yeah that's so true yeah and I really felt that but yeah

I'm really liking all the contestants as well this year I feel like they've gone back to basics a bit with kind of your more normal Joes and I quite like that I think it's back to bit with kind of your more normal Joes.

And I quite like that. I think it's back to its sort of wholesome bake-off, which is nice. I love this. I haven't actually, don't shout on me, I haven't actually watched any of it yet. But I like to binge things. I can't watch things week by week. So I'm biding my time. But I've seen so many clips and she's so lovely.

And I'm buzzing that we've got, you know, Alison Hammond of all people. I just, who doesn't love Alison Hammond? Do you know what I mean? She's so lovely and i'm buzzing that we've got you know allison hammond of all people i just who doesn't love allison hammond you know i mean she's so cute so this is just good vibes isn't she i really i just really love her and this is like properly countdown to christmas tv times i'm here for it see you heard again i did but because christmas chocolate's back hoppers like stop i must admit i need to talk to you about something very serious okay i'm ready matt told me that you tried a mint terry's chocolate orange it will although it wasn't chocolate orange sensational really it is a terry's mint round thing essentially there is no orange in it it is put into segments but i don't even think it's got the texture do you know what's so funny i'm literally sitting here with it

it's been a long day mate is that dinner that's been breakfast lunch and dinner today i don't know how you guys can make that last all day though that's literally gone in one sitting for me i eat it like an apple no i don't but i could no tell me you're lying no i don't i'm not completely people who eat the cheese strings and they eat them like this oh i have done that before yeah we can't be friends i know right we've already established or like people that eat the kit kat you know like the two the finger kit kats and just like eat them i do that no you don't you you have to break them off

as fingers sorry mom um you eat them you eat them you eat them just call me henry the eighth um okay yeah okay but this is a serious question the mint orange is it like has it got bits of like peppermint in it or is it just no good smooth and it doesn't taste like toothpaste no it's really good i'm on it at least really good the one good thing i will say about christmas chocolate being in the shop so early is that it means that easter chocolate and mini eggs are weeks away so that that that makes me happy all right yeah for sure i mean i do think it's all kicked off a little bit earlier than usual this year however we buy it so everyone needs to stop moaning we all buy it and

we buy into it so that's why it's a shush uh but yeah so that means by this standard easter will be out in november busing cream eggs cream eggs you know how i feel about mini eggs honestly oh halloween they do scream eggs but no basically this podcast has been interrupted by lauren running to the go up to buy chocolate and the kinder santas do you like have you i don't know if i had one but the lint oh lint yeah lint yeah but kinder okay i'll have to add it to my list i will try i think we need to have like a maybe we should have like a night in soon like a movie or just actually no let's just go let's just chat and hang out night but we both bring all of our favorite chocolate and we can like swap and like figure it out again i love i don't know how many of our episodes just descend into us talking about

food really i love it that many anyway should we get on with it yes yes let's do it hi guys we're taking a quick break out of today's episode to tell you all about our first ever live podcast recording which is happening on the 30th of october at 7 30 pm in west london you know how much the go love yourself community really means the world to us so for so long laura and i've been wondering how can we get these gorgeous girls and guys involved and hello is get them involved in some of our episodes yeah one of the best bits of feedback that me and lauren get uh about go love yourself is that it feels like you're listening to your mates talking some of you even say that you sometimes like talk back to us.

I love it. Which is just hilarious. I would love to see that. So our live recording is going to be the chance to basically just do that. So on the night, we will be recording two brand new episodes with you. And one will be a dive into TV and body image. We know you'll have as much to say on this as we do. So we'll invite you to ask questions or share your thoughts if you'd like to.

So you might even end up in the episode. But of course, there is absolutely no pressure to contribute and everybody is welcome. Very importantly, the dress code is whatever you're comfortable in. So casual, glam, Halloween costume, pyjamas, everything goes. Can I wear pyjamas?

That'd be nice. Thanks. As it's Halloween Eve, one of us will be coming in fancy dress and one of us won't but can you guess who it is i wonder you know we're all about whatever makes you feel best so honestly you do you you can find more information and the links for your tickets in the episode description see you there so we recently did an episode about magazines and the impact that they've had on body image and how toxic they were and it went down really well with you guys a lot of you that listened to it said that it kind of brought up a lot of memories and a bit of trauma so we're sorry about that um but it's such an interesting topic wasn't it and so today we're going to do a little

bit more of a deep dive into movies uh if you're American films if you're in the UK and the kind of the fat shaming and the fat stereotypes and the impact that that had on us growing up as well and and even they're still prevalent today oh my god yeah does anything stand out for you Lauren like as a first memory of sort of watching something and feeling a bit like, oh, that's not OK? Do you know what's really funny? Obviously, because I grew up as a slimmer kid and I was around about a size 12 until I was about 24, 25. So I wasn't watching these movies like you were watching them. And being upset about the portrayal of fat characters was not something I felt because it wasn't my reality. So I think a lot of people listening will also be the same.

So my issue with them has come obviously much later. And it's like, what the actual fuck? So I can, you know, it's horrible to say that. But when you're watching these films and that issue doesn't really bother you when you're so young, it's not something you're ever bothered by. However, also, you're watching these films and you're looking at characters who are being called fat who aren't fat and then that's what sticks with you and so again similar to magazines we can't sit here and say that had no impact on us you know we're going to get into particular movies but some of my favorite movies have got really problematic issues with body image

and i and you're watching that as a 12 year old 15 year old 25 year old and it's telling you one thing fat is bad thin is good and actually what is considered fat is smaller than you are so you must go and lose weight and then the whole cycle starts again so it that i think that's what i remember and that that's my when I think about those movies now it's the first thing I think about but on the flip side for you Laura what was that like growing up as a kid in a bigger body as a teenager and like in your 20s watching these films and how they treated dealt with portrayed people in bigger bodies two things that really stick out for me one I mean like i said i've always pretty much been bigger

but when i was probably at my biggest and my weight was like a big issue in my house with my dad in particular commenting on it quite a lot making me feel like shit about myself when i would watch films with fat characters in i would instantly feel embarrassed and feel like oh god because it kind of like felt like it added to the cause yeah because not only were the characters fat they were normally also fat and ugly fat and stupid fat and unlovable and so you kind of um can't help but adopt that that kind of narrative that that's that's what we are we're just a stereotype um not only that but I also noticed about the way that those

characters were treated so it's not just them those characters but the way that other people like reacted to them and treated them and you pick up very quickly on that so you kind of go there and go ah okay so again they are unlovable they're the the the side chick or they're the kind of they're to be mocked or they're the the mum figures like the nanny figures the nurturing ones so yeah it was a bit tricky I also remember when I had at one point in my life I think I was 15 16 I went on Slimming World I lost quite a lot of weight and I remember watching tv I think it was like a blind date and there was like a fat joke and I laughed because I was like ha ha ha that's not me anymore that sticks in my head which I don't love about myself but again I was 15 like I'm not gonna beat myself

up about it but um it's just easy isn't it it's just so easy and it's just lazy writing and sometimes I know a lot of people will say that we've become too sensitive as a society but I can't help but watch things now and be horrified it's horrifying horrified so for instance are you even like we've just watched rewatched Game of Thrones which I love but the amount of like fat jokes in that and fat like shaming me yeah and i honestly don't remember it at all and i think i find it really hard now i don't know if anyone else listening can relate because i'm you know proud of myself and being a bit more educated in these these this area and these kind of things sometimes i feel like i'm really like hyper sensitive to it so i'll be watching a movie and like matt will say matt will look at me and he'll go triggered because he knows that that will piss me off i don't know if

you saw it on tiktok you know sometimes on tiktok movies come up and they play parts of it did you see shallow how was doing the rounds i was wondering when we would talk about this and i'm glad it's the first movie we're talking about um i did a little bit and even in research for this episode it's the first one that comes up that movie is unbelievable and it didn't get made long enough ago for that to be okay thankfully gwyneth paltrow has come out and said that she's like not not proud of it um of all the things she should be not proud of i guess that's you know thanks thanks i actually cannot stand her like the smugness the wellness the fact that recently i'm going off on a tangent here allow me i've had a really bad day today i'm sorry i'm gonna go i'm gonna go in she was recently on a podcast with a fucking iv drip in her arm. Yeah, no. And she was like, what's your favorite? She's talking to the presenter guy of the podcast.

And he was like, what's your favorite? She was like, oh, I love this one. He was like, oh my God, that's such a great one. Oh my God, just don't. It was really bad. The backlash that that got was absolutely rightly so. It was someone with a very large platform promoting things that were unhealthy.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. To that point. So, yeah. So I'm glad that she sees the wrongness in that film. How could you not?

It's awful. It's just awful. The film, if you haven't seen it, was released in 2001. It's like a kind of a rom-com vibe, isn't it? With Jack Black. And basically, he falls in love with her. haven't seen it was released in 2001 it's like a kind of a rom-com vibe isn't it with jack black and basically he falls in love with uh with her she's like 300 pounds but i think in the movie she's betrayed as if she's sort of 600 pounds anyway um he falls in love with her after being hypnotized into only seeing a person's inner beauty spoiler alert he does end up actually

obviously falling in he does fall in love with her and he kind of realizes but he he's called shallow how for a reason but there are certain scenes that are just like so cringe like there's one scene where they're in a restaurant and she breaks the chair yes and she's just like mortified she's so she's so embarrassed and stuff and like obviously like i'm sure that stuff does happen but not on like a daily basis and and again it was just oh it's just it's so icky it is icky and if you think however old you were when you were watching that whether you were 12 or 22 32 foot whatever if you're watching something like that what does

that say and there it's not a daily occurrence as you said but there may be a you know people listen to this podcast that may have happened to them yeah that can be like a really awful experience and then you've got it on tea on movies of someone laughing about it and when she jumps into the pool and all the water comes out yeah like do you know what i mean and and and even me as a kid and as i said i was smaller as a kid i think even i got that joke at some point because i was i was a small kid. I was the bigger of all of the kids. Like about how much water that you splash out when you jump into a pool. And all of it was just so awful.

And what's really awful about it, Laura, is that I think I watched it more than once because I enjoyed the movie at the time. I didn't see the problem with it at the time as i don't as i think a lot of people didn't now i'm just i'm disgusted at myself and everyone but i think i've i watched it more than once for sure how bad's that no it's not bad and i think you know like like a lot of things it was of its time and we just sort of accepted it another one that i think was around this the same time was um norbit and the nutty professor uh and again the nutty professor do you remember just constantly eating so the main character in norbit was ruspisha she was a large black woman

played by eddie murphy who was wearing a fat suit we'll talk about fat suits in a second um and i um i was yeah doing a bit of research for this episode and there were people that were saying you know it's not just like everyone will say like oh it's funny like you should just find it funny like it's don't be woke don't be so sensitive and they were like it's all fun and games until you are called that and even lizzo has spoken out and said like it broke her heart when she saw that representation because i think i don't know if it was her or somebody else was saying that that was her nickname in school and i think the people that kind of say oh you're being too sensitive about these things are highly likely to not be a similar size to that person do you know what i mean so if someone's

saying oh you're being too sensitive and they are in a smaller body they don't understand and that's that's fine that's their issue and as i said as i said you know being smaller when i was a kid i didn't understand those issues don't let that stop you from feeling those feelings or feeling like you're being unreasonable for saying them because factually this is terrible and and it's like i think it goes beyond like films and magazines as well like i even now have a fear of going to comedy shows for fear of being called out that is such a good point mate oh my god the last time i went to was five years ago and i sat in fear because the only seats that were available were six about six rows back and i was like way too close than i would have liked to have been to this comic and i just kept thinking please god no

fat jokes or don't point me out like don't you know yeah horrible and that's why i don't think it's okay like you can be funny without without doing that like imagine if someone made a joke about like i think this is the thing i was about to say can you imagine if someone made a joke about like i think this is the thing i was about to say can you imagine if someone made the same jokes about race i think you can but i think you can do it if you're off that race or if you're fat i think it's like when it's at people's expense that i just think that that's not cool when it's at other people's expense it's not funny and also the world has moved on in the last 20 years it's actually just not funny anymore like it's it's not funny and also the world has moved on in the last 20 years it's actually just not funny anymore like it's it's really not because because now we are the products of what happens when we

thought that was all funny 20 years ago and now we're all sitting here with body image issues and feeling awful about ourselves when we gain weight or because we look a certain way and and wearing safety cardigans on 40 degree weather days and all of this because we grew up the whole world the whole society 20 years ago and still now absolutely to an extent but but definitely less so we're set up to say fat is bad terrible you're gross you're disgusting so now we're coming out of that um and that's fantastic but we're the product of that shit being funny. And it's not. And it wasn't then. It isn't now. And I just hope nothing like this ever gets made again.

Fingers crossed. Yeah, completely agree. Yeah. I also want to talk a bit about fat suits as well. And I think. Oh, let's talk about fat suits. How problematic they are. Because often they're so unrealistic as well. Like they just make the person look completely rotund. And in their face as well and I think oh let's talk about how problematic they are because often they're so

unrealistic as well like they just make the person look completely rotund and like in their face as well that they've got like you know the chin is bigger than their actual head yeah yeah I just don't like I just don't really like them I don't agree with them it's 2023 the last one that I saw being used was for uh so Renee Zellweger who famously played Bridget Jones we'll talk about Bridget Jones in a second don't worry we're coming to it but a couple years ago she was in a film I think she was playing like some kind of serial killer mom in the US or something she had a on and she had it on for like 90% of the film and all the comments were like rightly I think justified in saying why could you not have just picked a fat actress yeah and that's the thing like i don't really understand and and i think it's sort

of similar really to when you have you know straight actors playing a role of a character that's gay it's a tricky one it is a tricky one because you can argue well it should be the best person for that role but like this is the thing There are so few characters that are fat or in bigger bodies and whose story arc is not completely centred around their weight. Like, surely they could have given it to somebody else. There'll be actors out there crying out for jobs and they're still giving it to the same people, the same slim white people and

we're all calling out for more diversity in all aspects it is really frustrating that that is still the case and especially as you said if the whole movie or a large part of the movie is someone wearing a fat suit let's just change it let's just not and like you said they're really unrealistic and they've been used as a weapon really like we can all think of examples where people have been wearing fat suits and the point is because they're making fun of it so it's you know it's like it's like sometimes in like a dreamscape where you know they dream of something happening and they put on a fat suit it's like laughable or whatever and it just it all just it all just supports this vibe that being fat is awful and it is so damaging it's so damaging i'm so annoyed by all the movies right now

i just thought of another film actually that came out very recently i don't know how many of you listening would have watched it i think it's actually on Amazon Prime is The Whale I didn't watch it did you watch it I didn't watch it I have seen it and it was it was a hard watch I'm not gonna lie but I again I just feel like it was slightly I wonder I don't want to say lazy writing actually because I actually thought it was very well written and I was very engrossed in it but it was problematic so a bit just a bit of context if you haven't seen it um it's basically uh around a man called Charlie I think he's around like 600 pounds and he basically hides in his apartment and he binge eats because he's depressed

I won't I won't give away a spoiler but there is a reason why and as soon as we meet him basically he's in this like dingy horrible house with like a really dirty sofa he's surrounded by like rubbish like takeaway like it's like a complete stereotype of what people think fat people are doing i like and but yeah his living environment is is not a nice one and i think what frustrated me about the film is that it was sort of like a distorted depiction of fatness as a form of squalor and he's like a caricature the character because he just reinforces the belief that fat people bring this upon themselves by sitting down constantly eating takeaways and again it's just that there are people that are like that and that live like that but that is not the only version of fatness like there are plenty of people that are fat and

live full lives and happy lives and I just there was just no joy in that and I think I've seen quite a lot on um Instagram recently about people celebrating fat joy I don't know if you've seen it no there's a song and it's called fat people doing yeah and then there's the hashtag fat joy yeah because when we think of fat people we automatically think that they are sad and that they are on a on a diet and they they want to lose weight and they are trying to lose weight and they're really struggling and they're just sat in squalor eating shit food from you know a carton of mcdonald's it's just so much more complex than that and yeah that film i don't know it it just reinforces it but this is the thing like you said like all these these issues are so much more complex than all of this but we've only ever been given pretty surface level reasons as to what you know why fat

characters are fat so it's no wonder that the general population and society in general believes this because no one's really stepping up in a big way a movie you know and production companies aren't yet making all these things and there's not enough tv shows about all of this that's showing another side. So it's no wonder. But yeah, when I saw that movie being advertised, I just thought this isn't going to be a nice thing to see. Like as somebody who does struggle with their appearance sometimes,

I don't want to see this. I didn't see it looking good. And what was really quite triggering about that movie was obviously because Brendan Fraser was in a fat suit, when he then appeared doing the press trial as himself there was these before and after photos and you know the praise he received you know looking as himself or perhaps he did slim down i have no idea was really shit because again it's the before and after fat is bad thing is good um and that was really shit and that's no there's no

hate to brendan fraser because i mean if anyone's a mummy fan we all love a bit of brendan hated the mummy you will be not surprised to hear i don't think i didn't like the mummy because i hate scary films love me some brendan fraser also rachel weiss stop it but anyway we digress yeah i think we need to call out these kind of like storylines and these fat phobic jokes when we when we see them i think it's important that we do do that i am pleased to see things getting better but it it this isn't true but it can sometimes feel like fat phobia or anti-fat bias whatever you want to call it is like the last acceptable form of prejudice and we there's a brilliant quote by Aubrey Gordon who I absolutely love and obsess with she co-hosts the maintenance phase podcast which is amazing and she's also an author and she says uh that anti-fat bias is like air pollution uh we don't always see it but we always

breathe it in isn't that so powerful I think yeah that quote um it's so true we've got a long way to go we do and we had aubrey on the on the podcast a little while ago so if you haven't listened to the episode definitely go listen back because it's stuff like that it's just you know she says it in such a factual way and that's it isn't it like we're not seeing it but we're you know we're constantly breathing it in and i think you're so right we do need to call this shit out especially when it's new content when it's new films and new TV shows being made like this. And we are seeing a bit more. There was a backlash to the whale. There has been backlash to other things that have come out about, you know, people wearing fat suits and that.

And I'm happy to see it. Like with anything, like with so many of our conversations about this. Fat people need to be in the room where it happens yet again so we need fat people to be writing scripts we need fat people to be you know looking at becoming actors we need them to be in in the director's chair in the production room in the editor's suite all of this we need you know fat people and people in bigger bodies need to be across the board in movie making so we can start to see some characters who just happen to be in a bigger body it's got nothing to do with their story arc at all and you know even when we've had some good examples of movies come out recently where

people have been in bigger bodies it's still been a thing still been a thing and it's annoying or tv shows and stuff and so that's what i'd like to see happen but i also don't see that how you say that there it must be so limiting i'm thinking theater more specifically but it movies as well there are so few roles for for bigger actors write them someone needs to write them and the thing is it doesn't even need to be specific roles does it for bigger people yes absolutely and you know in theater we did a episode with carrie hope fletcher all hail carrie hope fletcher and talking about the specific roles that are available for people in bigger bodies in theater with movies you have more of a chance to create something new or cast someone it doesn't matter just cast someone in your next

blockbuster who happens to be i don't know the marvel superhero or the love interest or the protagonist and whatever and they just happen to be an actor who's not the stereotypical you know tall white slim actor yeah i'd love to see that i'd love to see more crying out for it mate it's it can be a difficult one in that like i don't want to sit on the fence here i would only switzerland and get splinters in my ass sometimes you see like like tv shows and and films and and adverts especially where i think they feel like really tokenistic where it yeah like i don't want that i want it to just be really inclusive and it to be like natural like like the barbie movie felt yes i can also see that there is an argument for people saying it's not healthy we shouldn't be promoting being bigger as healthy and i i can see that to an

extent i can see it but i also just think i'm not talking about like everyone being fat or everyone being of a certain race or or everyone being disabled i just mean like it's about true representation like 67 of the country the population in america is is considered plus size so why are we not really seeing that reflected on our our screens and i think a lot of that is because people still see being fat as a choice and like we always say it's a lot more complicated than that people see it as a personal failing a moral failing when it really isn't and this is true when I see quite a lot of people talk online about why we need a fat Disney princess and I'll be honest here my first reaction was no I don't agree with that I don't think that's healthy interesting yeah for children to grow up with and and see that and then I thought about it

a bit more and I thought maybe maybe I'm being like fat phobic in that because actually like with their tiny like impossibly tiny waist like surely that's not healthy for children to see either and I think it's a fine line it's very very, very tricky. But I, yeah, I don't know how I feel about it, to be honest. That's an interesting one. Do you know what? I'd be really interested. We might have to put this out on Instagram to see what people think,

because I do get your point in that these movies, and again, we know this because we were kids growing up with, you know, these Disney princess movies. They are aspirational. And you do hold that. And, you know know the whole sort of happily ever after thing is something you've just held like it's just a thing so what do we want there but by the pure fact that i'm you know even saying it what you know we want thinness to be

aspirational why i want happiness to be aspirational not thinness so it's a difficult one in that you don't really want to promote either enders of the spectrum, I guess. You want people to be happy and healthy in the middle. What we want to see is just something different. It's just something different. Like, so, you know, the latest Disney princesses,

I think Elsa and Anna, please correct me if I'm wrong, everyone. Princesses specifically, not, you know, Disney characters. And they are still the impossibly,

you know, small characters. More quirky, more fun, know, Disney characters. And they are still the impossibly, you know, small characters. More quirky, more fun, little bit of fun. Yeah. But impossibly tiny. You know, Encanto showed some different size characters, which was fantastic. I was just thinking about Encanto. Yeah.

I love Encanto. So if you haven't seen Encanto, please watch it. Yeah. Mirabelle, slightly, you know, different from the standard. And we love that. I think I just want to see that a little bit more i would love to see a disney princess who is bigger i think we're not going to get a size 18 and i think that's okay because i just don't see it happening but why can't we have a size 12 do you know i would like one i'd like one like i don't i don't don't wish for every like disney princess to be fair i don't think that's right or realistic i'm just saying like one would be great because i think like you

said it's aspirational and wouldn't it be so lovely for little girls to be rather than think i wouldn't look like that saying yeah i look like that like that's that's me we talk about all the time about how representation matters there was actually a disney uh film it was a short though uh it was like a three minute film yeah called reflections but again the whole story arc was around her body and her weight and reflections and and this is another thing like i just i really am tired of and i just i just want to see a plus size female protagonist and it's just not it's not a thing i want to see like you know the latest anne Hathaway comedy

with just someone who's bigger. But the thing is also, Laura, like how many actors can we name that are in bigger bodies? I literally can think of Melissa McCarthy right now. Melissa McCarthy, Rebel Wilson. She's not anymore. Not anymore.

And that's, you know, Amy Schumer. Although I wouldn't class her as plus size at all. I'd class her as mid if we're using terms like that can't really think of that many babes no the only other one that sticks in my mind is Queen Latifah uh she was in a great film called Last Holiday and that actually the only kind of slight reference to her weight was I don't actually don't even think it was with her weight but I think she basically gets told that she's got a terminal illness and that she hasn't got long to live but she goes to this like uh retreat place i think in france and she just orders everything off the menu oh love it she just lives her best life because she thinks it's going

to be like her last day sort of thing uh it's a really good like feel good inspiring movie and i think she did a great job on it queen latifah is an absolute babe um another actress called gabory sadiba who is in precious which i haven't actually seen and she's probably on you know the larger end of of being plus size but she hasn't been in a huge amount no it's always very telling when you see her you know the sea responses to her outfits at red carpets yeah that's that's always fucking horrible there's just not there's just not the representation out there to even get into these into these roles. You know, I mean, so it's just I want to say I just want it all.

I want I want I want across the board, as I said, across the board, more representation. But but for for people in bigger bodies to feel like they can go for those jobs as well. Absolutely. The movies we touched on so far are a bit intense in their representation of um of of bigger people and fat people but there are some really lovely wholesome films which i mean to it actually all three of these ones that i've got in my head are on my list of like my favorite films ever and i'm talking love actually problematic mean girls and and Bridget Jones. I feel like Bridget Jones does get talked about to death, so I'm quite sick of hearing people talk about it

if I'm just being really honest. But there's a reason. But there is a reason. There's a very, very valid reason because we genuinely were led to believe that at Nine and a Half Stone, she was fat and there was so much in the media

about her weight before and after. And people were, I remember people saying she was either too skinny or too fat so too fat in the film and then too skinny when she lost the weight in air quotes yeah again just we as women can't win but that film is so problematic it is but it's so i i you know i love bridget i love all three i love them so much and but it does suck because if the numbers weren't said, no, it'd still be problematic,

but the numbers are said. And the thing is, I don't think she is a nine and a half stone woman at that point either, because I have been nine and a half stone and I didn't look like that. So, and everyone carries the weight differently. I understand that. But the whole thing of like why millennials have trust issues is because,

you know, this woman in that tiny bunny costume is the one that we talk about a lot and you know we will move on laura i promise but it needs to be said like that tiny bunny costume we were told that she was fat and repulsive and it's not true we covered a bunch of that you know this kind of stuff in the magazines episode so we won't go on but that's like the pin that's like the pinnacle example of how bad this shit is and again do you notice how she's not just chubby again said in air quotes but um she's like really clumsy she's a bit thick yeah good point would she have been like that if she wasn't that size yeah i'll just yeah yeah good point and it's kind of like it's made to be that you know

the fact that she gets with you know colin firth and hugh grant oh my god they're amazing how how have you done that it's like shut up so problematic all right let's move on from bridget jones because we all know that shit and we all know it's shit so we agree it's wrong and stupid now but even a couple of other little examples love actually man i love love actually she's also called chubby wasn't she she was the chubby girl with the huge thighs and we're talking about marty mccutcheon um playing the character of natalie and yeah huge thighs is the prime minister's special advisor person says horrendous thankfully that kind of thing would we wouldn't get what we wouldn't see that now i don't think anyway no absolutely not yeah it's really jerky isn't it because you want to enjoy these films for what they are but it's so hard i

feel like watching anything now like like i said i feel very triggered by a lot and i'm like oh that didn't age well did it but so much didn't that's fine to feel like that laura like because so much didn't and the thing is it's poking fun at people who look like you. So it's fine to feel triggered by that. So don't ever feel, and anyone listening, don't ever feel like you can't feel upset about that. Or, you know, if you're watching a movie with your mates or your family, you want to turn it off even or go in another room. But that's the thing though, Lauren, is that,

like you sort of alluded to earlier, is I don't look like that. I didn't look like that. I wish I looked like that. They're calling her fat. What am I? Am I a a monster that's genuinely how I felt a lot of the time when they were calling people like her fat I was thinking if she's fat what what the hell am I and like I said it made me like go the other way it made me want to binge eat maybe want to secretly I'm not saying that's the only reason but that that's why I don't, you know, people can say, oh, you've been sensitive, but that's why I take issue with it. Of course, 100%. You're so right.

And again, another example of, you know, an iconic movie that we all, most of us all love is Mean Girls, where Regina George, you know, really wants to lose five pounds. And when she's eating these protein bars, you can see she's got like a patch. She's got padding in her. I worry like almost a fat suit, but she's got padding in her ass and stuff to show that she's gained weight and how disgusting that is. So these movies, we've talked about movies that have got really obvious and very dangerous fat phobia and anti-fat bias in them. But some of these little ones have also got these minute examples in there as well. And they're still as problematic and troubling because it's so because it's so subtle yeah so true i think like in the future like i think we like we absolutely need to be calling out this the ship when we see it because i say mostly it's a thing of the past but not always

uh i think like i said we need to see more, we need to see more representation. We need to see more roles developed for people of diverse body types. And it needs to be, I feel like Hollywood, I think it was Jessica Chastain, but don't quote me. There was an A-list Hollywood actress recently, I think it was her, saying about how there's just this expectation that once you get to Hollywood, you have to be a size zero. And all of the roles, all of the main character roles basically like they are like fit for that and again i'm not even like talking plus size representation just kind of average size something representation if that

if that like that would be really wonderful um there's just yeah it does feel like there is a bit more work to be done don't you think yeah yeah and like you said that's what we want to see we want to see more people in the room where it happens um so we can all go and enjoy movies a little bit more and we don't want their size or diets or whatever to be the central arc of their character we don't want them to be the stereotypical fat and bubbly i want to see some like complex stories because like you said there's so many reasons why people are big and also it doesn't matter that people are big so just put them in storylines of things that are happening in life

i think we'd all really enjoy that do you know what i mean and i hope i hope we get to see it i'd buy a ticket i'd buy a ticket too clearly laura and i have a lot to say on this and this was only covering just movies we haven't really covered tv and even in this episode we've mentioned a couple of tv shows so at our very first live recording on the 30th of october we're gonna have to cover body image and tv mate 100 we've got a lot to say and i think what we'll have to do in that in our live recording is ask the audience and ask our listeners some questions as well and bring them in get their opinions get their questions and stuff because if we if me and laura have got a lot to say we know you lot have got a lot to say too definitely yeah we're gonna

put the link for tickets in the bio but just to say Lauren and I are so so excited to see you there at Bushel in London on the 30th fancy dress is optional Lauren will be dressing up surprise surprise I probably will not will not be because I'm a fun sponge so if you want to be a fun sponge with me not dress up that's absolutely fine uh likewise if you do that's cool but yeah we we genuinely can't wait it's going to be a really fun night and we look forward to seeing you there thank you guys so much for listening to this episode and we'll be back with a brand new episode next week if you want more of us in the meantime and why wouldn't you make sure you follow our instagram at go love yourself pod and join our facebook group go love yourself community or you can get in touch with us on email go love at crowdnetwork.co.uk you can also support the

show by subscribing on patreon or apple podcasts where, where you can get ad-free and early episodes for £1 a week. Or you can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. And a quick reminder about our live recordings. The first one is in London on Monday, the 30th of October, and tickets are £17.50. There's more information and a link to buy your tickets in the episode description. Thank you so much for listening, and we will see you next week. Bye. Crowd Network. A place where you belong. We get it. Life gets busy. Luckily, with Peloton Tread, you can still get the challenging workouts you crave.

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