It Can't Just Be Me - It's Not Just You: with the Sunday Scaries

Starting point is 00:00:00 We get it. Life gets busy. Luckily, with Peloton Tread, you can still get the challenging workouts you crave. Only have 10 minutes? Take a quick Peloton workout. Want to go all out? Chase down your goals with 20 to 45-minute Tread workouts. No matter your goals or time, Peloton has everything you need to become everything you want. Find your push. Find your power. Peloton. Visit onepeloton.ca. episode, It's Not Just You. Each week, I'll be joined by an expert to explore the issues and dilemmas that are affecting you. No guests, just you, me, and an expert. Nothing is off

Starting point is 00:00:52 limits. We're open to it all, from your mental health, to dating, to your sex life, to addiction, all of the challenges and hurdles that life throws at you. We're here to offer some practical advice and support because whatever's on your mind, it's not just you. So let's begin. Today, I am joined by Dr. Radha Modgill, GP, wellbeing and health expert and author. But today, she's here to answer your dilemmas. So let's get straight into it, Rado, if you don't mind. We've got a dilemma that's been sent in by one of our listeners, and one that feels very apt, actually, for this spooky time of year. Here we go. Hey, Anna, I just wanted to send you a voice note about something I really struggle with,

Starting point is 00:01:43 because I'm sure it can't just be me. I'm 39 years old, I've got a good job and a lovely family but I feel like I just cannot cope with Sundays. I feel like I've always had that Sunday evening dread right from my school days but as I've got older it kicks in earlier and to the point where it feels like my Sundays already ruined from the minute I wake up because I know I'm back at work the next day and I'm already thinking about what I need to do that week. I just don't know how to get rid of that Sunday anxiety. The Sunday scaries. I know.

Starting point is 00:02:15 They scare me too. Exactly. They sort of never go away, do they? And I'm really interested in this dilemma because as our listener said, it goes back to school days, that they had it right from school days and I don't think that ever really leaves you so what do you think is going on

Starting point is 00:02:32 here Radha? So first of all this is a very very common problem a very very common feeling so it's estimated about 70% of us will have Sunday scaries that horrible feeling of dread on that Sunday afternoon or evening I'm just like oh no it's the anxiety isn't it of sort of going I've got to go to work yeah tomorrow and I've got too much to do absolutely and it's that anticipation so our brains are very clever in some ways and they serve us very well but in other ways they're not always very helpful so you know that anticipation of threat or that anticipation of something bad that's going to happen very useful when you know we were living in caves and we were fighting lions or tigers or whatever else but not so useful when we're sitting at home you know in

Starting point is 00:03:16 our pajamas on a sunday night trying to watch a bit of telly before we kind of start our week and that anxiety kicks in so it's that anticipation of what if or you know what will happen and the reality is never ever as bad but try telling your brain that on a sunday night exactly so yeah it's very common 70 of people experience that apparently it peaks or it's worse after five o'clock on a sunday apparently um i suppose again is that sort of light draws in we start to think about having to get up in the morning yes organize so just getting closer and closer to that sort of work monday morning work deadline absolutely and it can really impact so many things so it can impact

Starting point is 00:03:55 impact sleep it can impact performance on a monday morning it can impact relationships you know um it can also impact your social life because some people kind of go one way and other people go another some people try to keep busy and go into denial even though they're feeling anxious they do lots and lots of things they might be really busy on a Sunday evening other people do the opposite and actually because they're feeling anxious or like there's a threat that they can't necessarily manage in the moment they kind of hunker down and they don't organize things on a Sunday because they're so worried about Monday and they feel like they need to rest or they need to get themselves organized so it can really impact a lot of areas of our lives without us

Starting point is 00:04:32 particularly realizing so why do you think it's happening because you're saying that 70% of people suffer with this and struggle with this I have a feeling that there's a study being done about this actually I think at Exeter University maybe as well so I know that it is actually being studied because it's such a problem um but do you think it's getting worse because of say checking emails or phone addiction or the expectation that we're meant to be on even when actually we're off yes well there has been some research actually that's shown that people who check emails who get involved in work over the weekend not even on a sunday actually experience this worse than people who don't so that's really interesting because it almost suggests that our brains are

Starting point is 00:05:16 dipping into that work environment seeing a bit of what might come and then the anxiety is getting worse because they've almost had a taste of it um or it might be that those people are extra sort of uh either committed or concerned or perfectionists or you know the kind of people who are on all the time even though potentially they should be off so lack of boundaries looser boundaries around work checking emails over weekends actually make it worse perversely because you might think that actually would help you but ironically it seems to make things even worse for you on sunday evening so what do you think we should be doing if most of us suffer with that sort of sunday night blues what would you advise so i think it's important to try and work out where it's coming from as you

Starting point is 00:05:58 quite rightly said a lot of us will have feelings or associations of sundays with long gone days so whether or not that's school or maybe that was you know that started in a job where you found it really difficult you had a lot of stress in that job where did this come from what was the feeling and why do you think it's there because that's helpful for us to understand if we can understand where it came from we'll get a clue about that we can also reassure ourselves that actually this is normal i know why this is happening i know why i'm feeling like this it doesn't mean it's real so we have to you know our imaginations are great because they can come up with solutions and you know we can write stories

Starting point is 00:06:33 but actually imaginations used in the wrong way can just terrify us so why is it there when did it start and then just noticing it so noticing when you're starting to get that feeling in your tummy or you're starting to feel a bit agitated notice when that happens know for yourself when it happens on a Sunday and what that pattern is like for you and then try to intervene at those points and what would you do so when you say try and intervene you're starting to feel a bit anxious got to go to work tomorrow don't feel great about this so you've noticed that you're feeling the anxiety what would you then do to try and interrupt that pattern so different strategies so for example like i said before one of the best ways i think is to try and use sometimes distraction yeah for that because

Starting point is 00:07:16 sometimes you with deep-seated emotional patterns you can't always get rid of those so how can you distract yourself we talk about rest and activities being quite passive or a passive process they're actually proactive so rest is should be a proactive process and by that i mean you should be engaging your brain in doing something so sitting there watching the tv but not really watching it scrolling on your phone isn't particularly going to engage your brain it's not going to take you away from that anxiety whereas going for a walk meeting a friend watching a film baking cooking you're doing something with your hands something like that will engage your brain and take you away from that feeling of anxiety got you so distract your brain

Starting point is 00:07:55 distract your brain or that works for some people sometimes the other thing you can do is actually work on how you're feeling so for example if you like yoga if pilates is good for you if calming music helps you having a bath helps you those kind of relaxing processes can also help you kind of reduce that anxiety so those two strategies are quite helpful but it's not just about the sunday it's about the monday morning as well yes so on the monday morning there are some elements of your monday morning you need to look at so what makes you stressed about monday morning is it your routine of meetings is it that horrible kind of catch up with work colleagues where people are looking at your performance is it that you're too stressed and that's just jam-packed for

Starting point is 00:08:40 example have you got any space in your mondays to actually have a little bit of a break or a bit of time away so what is it about Mondays that you could alter or change that will reduce your level of anxiety looking ahead to that so what if somebody is actually just quite stressed by work and unhappy at work what would you advise is this about speaking to HR or your line manager or saying look I don't want you to get in touch with me over the weekend it's stressing me out is it about putting those boundaries down do you think so I think if this if the Sunday scaries turn into everyday scaries then that gives you that gives you good clues to the fact that maybe this job is not good for you it's not healthy for you and I think then you need to start taking steps to say right is it the actual job is it the actual role is it the people and the dynamics and the toxic dynamics in relationships or is it actually that the schedule is just not working

Starting point is 00:09:35 for me or I haven't got the right work-life balance what are those elements is causing you that stress and then to try to tackle those individually if somebody's feeling completely overwhelmed how do we know when we need to get that extra help with dealing with anxiety at what point do you think actually somebody needs to go and see their gp so when it becomes persistent when it becomes severe and when it basically affects what you're able to do with your life so if it's stopping you doing the things you want to be doing then that's the time that you need to get extra support and extra help and you know I think you know all of us or most of us have been in that position and actually just getting the right help talking to someone even if that's a friend as a

Starting point is 00:10:17 first step for them to go with you really important because the thing about anxiety and tension and worry and stress is that unless you tackle it, it tends to get worse. And then, you know, the sooner we can get on top of it, the better in terms of our mental health. Radha, as always, the voice of wisdom and perfection. Thank you very much indeed. That's it for today. Thank you so much for sending in your dilemmas and sharing your stories with us it's so important that we're having these honest conversations that ultimately everyone can benefit

Starting point is 00:10:53 from so if there's something you want to talk about then please keep them coming whether it's big or small get in touch with us you can email us or send a voice note to hello at itcan'tjustbeme.co.uk. You can also find us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook. Just search for It Can't Just Be Me. And remember, whatever you're dealing with, I promise it's Life gets busy. Luckily, with Peloton Tread, you can still get the challenging workouts you crave. Only have 10 minutes? Take a quick Peloton workout. Want to go all out? Chase down your goals with 20 to 45-minute Tread workouts. No matter your goals or time, Peloton has everything you need to become everything you

It Can't Just Be Me - It's Not Just You: with the Sunday Scaries

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.