It Can't Just Be Me - Reinventing Yourself with Linda Lusardi

Episode Date: October 30, 2024

In this episode of It Can’t Just Be Me, Anna Richardson engages with model, actress, and photographer Linda Lusardi. They explore Linda’s evolution from Page 3 pin-up to crafting and sustaining 30-year career. The conversation covers her rapid rise to fame at just 19 years old, her reflections on Page 3 and whether she felt exploited, her family life, the devastating loss of her parents and how she carved a path for herself as a successful actress and business woman.If you or someone you know is struggling with any of the topics discussed in It Can’t Just Be Me, you can find useful resources and support here: https://audioalways.lnk.to/ItcantjustbemeIG.From This Friday November 1st, Anna, alongside a panel of experts, will be addressing YOUR dilemmas in our brand new episodes ‘It’s Not Just You'! If you have a dilemma or situation you'd like discussed, reach out to Anna by emailing [e-mail] or DM her on Instagram @itcantjustbemepod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Whether renting, renewing a mortgage, or considering buying a home, everybody has housing costs on their minds. For free tools and resources to help you manage your home finances, visit Canada.ca slash it pays to know. A message from the Government of Canada. Before today's episode begins, I just wanted to tell you something very exciting. From this Friday, November the 1st, we'll be launching It's Not Just You. These are extra weekly episodes where I'll be joined by different experts and we'll answer your dilemmas.

Bite-sized episodes where you'll get to hear a dilemma from a listener and some practical advice that should help everyone. I'll be kicking them off with my friend, the broadcaster and GP, Dr. Radha. That's Friday, November 1st and every Friday afterwards. Make sure you hit subscribe. Hello, I'm Anna Richardson and welcome to It Can't Just Be Me. If you've listened before, hello. And if you're joining me for the very first time, it's great to have you here. This is the podcast that helps you realise you're not the only one. It's a safe space where nothing is off limits as we try to help you understand that whatever you might be going through, it's really not just you.

So each week I'm joined by a different celebrity guest who will talk through the challenges and hurdles they've faced in their own lives in order to help you with yours. I want to know about it all, the weird, the wonderful, the crazy, because these conversations are nothing if not open and honest. So, let's get started. Today's guest is someone who's been in the spotlight for nearly 50 years and is living proof that you can stay at the heart of showbiz if you're willing to diversify. Spotted at the age of 18, she went on to become the most popular page-three model of all time

before The Sun's notorious bare-breasted spread was banned in 2015. But by that point, she'd already pivoted into acting, starring in some of the biggest shows on stage and television, including Emmerdale, The Bill and Brookside. She's known as the Queen of Panto, performing alongside her husband, Sam Kane, and their two kids. But she's also a celebrity photographer, a businesswoman, and she has her own studio, which brings us neatly full circle. It is,

of course, Linda Lusardi. I sound quite good, don't I? You sound amazing, don't you? You know, honestly, when you get to my age, you don't realise all the things you've done in the past. But when you say my age, how old are you? I'm 66 tomorrow. I get my pension. I'm so excited. I mean, when you say 66 tomorrow, and I'm sitting here I mean when you say 66 tomorrow and I'm sitting here looking at you know tomorrow you're going to be officially a pensioner I'm a pensioner Linda Lusardi probably by the time this goes out I will be a pensioner well you will be and you are the most glamorous pensioner that I've ever seen you look absolutely extraordinary but is it nice to hear that kind of CV that you've been at the heart of broadcasting

and showbiz for 50 years i have i have yeah it is and it's well you know it goes so quick you turn i love the fact you say you know i'm not that old well i know you're not but you've been around a while i've been knocking about yeah you've been in the business a long time and it's just the time they yeah they say time flies when you're having fun and I really have had fun well I do want to know a little bit more about how you stay relevant when you're in your 50s and your 60s and what you need to do but before we chat any further what is your it can't just be me dilemma one of my pet hates is when you sit down to watch a movie with friends and you're going oh look she's done then you look over and they're scrolling on their phones. Was I or was I not saying this morning that my other half and I had an argument last night because he was scrolling on his phone at nearly midnight.

And I was just like this. No, no. So it's annoying. It's so annoying because, you know, if you're watching a film like what did we watch the other night? Wicked Little Letters. Have you seen it? Oh, it's good. Oh, it's annoying, isn't it? It's so annoying because, you know, if you're watching a film like, what did we watch the other night? Wicked Little Letters. Have you seen it? Oh, is it good? Oh, it's brilliant. It's absolutely brilliant. And, you know, a lot of it is facial expressions and things that are going on that aren't verbalized. And if somebody's not watching, they're missing the film. It just really annoys me.

Well, I just think we're so distracted, aren't we, by our screens and by our phone and there is an addictive element to that and that's what worries me is that you know you're just you're not focusing and we're not able to focus on conversation or on what's in front of you so i am with you linda on that and it isn't just you and i mean maybe five years ago we'd sit in the lounge and they'd all be on their phones and I'd be moaning at them all. But I, you know, I do it to myself, but not if I'm watching a movie. Are you going to have a curfew in your household where you say no phones after, say, I don't know, 7pm?

No, no, they're grown-ups now. I can't tell them what to do anymore. Oh, I think you should try it. I am going to instigate a curfew. Are you? Yeah, absolutely. How old are yours? Well, I haven any but in my head in my head who's the curfew it's me it's me and my other half i'm i and i've got i'm in fact i've got a lodger as well so i'm i am gonna instigate a curfew on everybody in the house yeah but you know what'll happen you'll sit there itching to pick your phone up yourself. I will, won't I?

Yeah. Oh, such a hypocrite. I can't bear it. Can't damn you, Linda Lussari. You're right every time. Now, listen, you were a huge part of my teenage years. We're not that far apart in terms of age. But I remember you so vividly in my teen years.

And I remember you and Sam Fox very very well from doing page three is it true that you were spotted in a bus stop on your way to your job at HMRC I was I was I worked at Hoban tax office um it was personnel so I was doing the files on the people that worked in the tax office so because I'm a brain box. I couldn't do people's tax. Can't even do my own now. But yeah, I used to get the bus from Hoban across to Shaftesbury Avenue where my friend worked in an arcade. They used to have like arcades in those days. And then he'd drive me home and a car pulled up and if it had been a man I probably would have said f off but it wasn't it was a really beautiful woman and she said my husband and I spotted you what model agency are you with and all this anyway they gave me a number but it transpired I ended up sitting in the office with this phone number thinking what do I do you know do I do it and give up the job do I anyway I went to an agent and I worked in flexi time for about a year and then my agent at international models

said look you're never going to know if you can do it full-time until you're around to do all the castings so I thought well I don't want to be a tax officer so let's give it up and give it a go and so you gave it a go i did and one of the first he said well you're not tall enough to do catwalk um and at the time i mean i'm going back to like the 70s this is how long ago it was uh franco had just um died i think in in spain and the beaches became topless so i had been on holidays and become topless and with friends and stuff so it wasn't such a big thing and everyone was doing it at the time even in British beaches it was starting in the 70s yeah late 70s I would have been a kid in the 70s and I think that that some women were just

starting to do it but it was kind of like quite out there wasn't it if you took your top off it was more on the continent but it was quite still quite outrageous at the time but i was quite outrageous you know there's something to be to be a rebel yeah i was a bit rebel and that's when when i said to my mom dad i'm gonna do this they just said look be really careful you know what you go to da da da um because they knew if they said no i'd do it anyway so i love that linda lucida that you were a rebel when you were younger oh i was i was i was really naughty i used to hang out with two other girls and we bunk off school all the time and um we all got letters sent home because we were spotted by a teacher in the park. And they sent letters home saying, you know, we need to you need to come to see the headmaster.

We need to speak to the parents, blah, blah, blah. Well, me and my brother waited for this letter and we steamed it open and threw it away. And so I and my my friends, their parents went up and they got detention for about a month. So I used to wave at them through the window as I went home. And a teacher says to me, why haven't your parents been up? And I said, well, they just don't care about me. And they started to feel sorry for me. But isn't that terrible? Did you ever fuss up to your your mum i did in later years and she

said oh don't tell me linda don't tell me she sounds very i love her accent there just like oh don't tell me linda was she quite a well-spoken lady oh she was very highly intelligent and she was a tax officer that's how i got the job in the tax office yeah you know she was very well to do and I just I used to make her toes curl things I got up to. So she wanted you to work in tax but here you are this absolutely stunning teenager that's spotted for her for her beauty and you go into modelling and I think it's quite easy to look back through the lens that we've got in 2024 at page three and sort of tut-tut a little bit

and, you know, times are very, very different. But how did it feel at the time to have landed such a prestigious job? Because at the time I seem to recall that being on page three was quite a thing. I didn't really realise my level of fame and I didn't realise, you know, how special it was in those days. I mean, I look back at it now and it just doesn't sit right, does it, with today. Not with today.

Well, you say that though, Linda, but it's no different really to OnlyFans. I suppose so. But it was much more accepted in those days, wasn't it? It was in everybody's breakfast paper and people just didn't see it in the same way as they do now. Yeah. But I had an absolute ball. I earned lots of money, had lots of friends, was string fellows and night clubbing and doing all stuff and traveling the world it's extraordinary it's i mean i'm very very interested in this because i'm actually very

interested in the power of the breast and the naked breast um so i just want to talk to you a little bit about that and the fact that you had this fame, you had this, the power, you made a lot of money, you were very, very well known. But a few years ago, I wrote a pitch for a documentary about this. Get this, naked pinups have helped win wars. They've shaped politics, they've changed the modern world. And courtesy of Sam Fox had a hit single in Finland. Churchill called the pinup girls Britain's secret weapon. Great deal of power. So why do you think that we were and still are so fascinated by women, by the naked breast, and what that represents? Well, I think, you know, up until sort of the last decade, I think, you know, up until sort of the last decade, men ruled everything, didn't they?

And men like to look at naked women and they always will. You know, there were paintings years ago and, you know, then, you know, page three was around for what, 30 years? How long was it going for? I think it started early 70s didn't it because it only ended in 2015 yeah so it's going forever and you're quite right to say you know the male gaze on on the naked woman but did you were you aware of the fact i know that you were a much younger woman then but were you aware of the fact of um the fact that you did sort of have that power? No, I wasn't at the time.

I was just pleased to get the next job. And I didn't realize that, you know, I was doing two or three jobs a day. I was really, really busy. And it wasn't all with my clothes off. It was nearly only page three was kind of like the window to the rest of the the industry for me and then you get booked to do loads of other things and I think then when Sam and I started it this the page three girls were becoming celebrities so we were doing lots of other things as well which was great and then um I think it was a producer came and asked me if I'd do um my first panto which I did 36 years ago um and I've done ever since and I just said I can't do

that and then I remember him sitting there and saying you know you do two shows a day two shows do the same things twice you did he said no no we do it for six weeks you know and I just thought wow um I'll give it a go, I said. And that was it. And I really got a taste for it. And I went and did Pygmalion. I did loads of other straight plays and farces. And I treaded the balls for a good ten years.

Well, I was going to ask you, how did you go from being a model, a very successful model, Linda, into then acting acting so Panto was the gateway was it no it wasn't it Claire Short who tried to ban page three yes um I became the spokesperson oh because you debated it didn't you I did with Ken Livingston and on on telly and you know all over the place it was always me that was chosen to come and talk about it. But your stance, if I remember correctly, was that sort of feminist perspective of actually these girls are in control. They can decide what they're going to do with their bodies. Absolutely. Because I felt in control of, you know, my earnings.

I was in control of what jobs I did. I don't know, did you feel in control of your earnings and what jobs you did? Or did you feel at the time exploited? Were you comfortable? Never felt exploited. Never felt exploited at all. I loved the fame. I loved the attention.

I loved the money. I loved the freebies you would get and being invited to lovely places and doing stuff I'd never have done in my life otherwise um I wouldn't change anything I mean I know it doesn't sit it doesn't sit right with me now and every interview I've ever done they said would you have let your daughter do it well no because times aren't the same no it's a very very different time why doesn't it sit right with you now? Because times have changed, you know, the Me Too movement and all of it. And I think it's quite right.

Earlier you said it's just like OnlyFans. Well, it's not really because OnlyFans is private. Yes, it's subscription-based. It's not children seeing the woman's body as, you know, just something for men to look at. And I think it's right that, you know, the lads mags are off the shelves for children to see. And I think it's right that page three is gone. But again, I wouldn't change anything for me.

But I do think it is better in general for women not to have those images around. in general for women not to have those images around so talk to me a little bit about OnlyFans because I know that you have said publicly that I don't think it's great for people not not just women for anybody really to be doing this why do you feel that way well only because I've just contradicted myself really is it is private, but it isn't private because people can take screenshots. And I know people that are on OnlyFans that haven't had children yet, that haven't got married yet.

And there will be those images of whatever they're doing behind closed doors will come out, even though they think, well, it's just my subscribers anyone can take a screenshot of anything and i do think you know in a small way what i did in my past well it was way before i even met sam it was way before i had children sam kane your wonderful husband my wonderful husband i mean i gave up modeling 37 years ago so you know my kids are sort of 20 something now um but i know even in their their lives i've felt a little bit of an embarrassment to them

they would never say that they would never say that but i do feel i have been and uh is this when they were little more more when they were sort of 12 13 and you know because the internet is what it is you can type in anybody's name and get everything they've ever done in their life can't you so so they didn't realize when they were growing up because i've been i filmed it at yours and sam's place and you've got this amazing room of fame all your achievements all of these amazing photographs of you so your kids i guess must have known that you were famous oh no they're pictures of shows i've been in they're not pictures of me without clothes oh no i know i know

just to be clear i haven't got a shrine it's not wall-to-wall boobs your boobs but you know it's all the shows that you've been in so your kids must have known you were famous as they were going up sam and i've never hidden it from them and i remember we were clearing out the loft once when lucy was about seven um and when my father died he'd kept every single newspaper i was ever in and and I don't joke there were three tea chests full of newspapers so I said to Lucy I've got to condense these down to just the page if I keep them and so she was going through and she and I just I wonder what she was saying she went oh mummy that's such a lovely picture of you shame you forgot your bra and i just for how many years were you doing it for page three oh my goodness uh from the age of like 18 till i was 29 so it's 10 years you forgot your

bra for about 10 years yes but no they know now they're they like 27. And what did they say about it when they were mature enough to understand it? What did they say? Did you feel judged by them or did they understand that actually I had a wonderful career? My daughter, Lucy, she just says, mum, you should be so proud of yourself. You know what you've achieved and you can't judge what you did then by today's standards and it you're amazing and you were beautiful and you were this and you met she makes me feel better about it my son hasn't really discussed it with me to be fair oh that's interesting that is interesting and what did what did Sam make of it because you met Sam afterwards when you were acting though

didn't you well service is a funny story he um i was his favorite pin-up and you were britain's favorite but you were voted britain's most successful favorite page three pin-up of all time so you were you were sam's favorite i was sam's favorite and he he was singing on a cruise ship when he was about 20 or something, 22. And he was with a band member who he met recently. And the band member said, don't you remember what you said on the ship? And he said, no. He said, you're going to marry Linda Lusardi.

Because he came up to me, he said, you only did it. And he'd forgotten he'd said it. He said, but he did. That's incredible. I know. He always gets what he wants. That is quite incredible that he said one day I'm going to marry that girl. Yeah, he said I'm going to marry her.

And that happened. It happened. I'm going to make a radical segue here, Linda, because you and I have worked together before when we did the Sally Morgan show. So psychic Sally Morgan. And at the time I was the the Sally Morgan show. So Psychic Sally Morgan. And at the time I was the producer of the show. So we filmed together. But just off camera before we were doing this, we were chatting about psychics.

And you said, oh, you need to go and see. Who was it? Her name is June Field. June Field. So clearly you're a bit of a believer. So do you think that maybe you and sam were fated to be together i do because he i had to wait for him to grow up anyway because he's 10 years younger than me because i had a failed marriage that before i was married um yeah so i do think i do i mean i

i wasn't a particular believer because I'm quite a matter of fact logical person but when I had COVID um I was like seriously ill in hospital on oxygen um and I was kind of told I might not make it is this 2021 I was I was when Boris went in, yeah, 2020, March 2020, when it first hit. I knew that you had COVID. I didn't know it was that serious. Yeah, both Sam and Sam had it first and I called it from Sam and we were both so ill at home for two or three weeks. And my son called an ambulance and our blood levels were so low that we probably wouldn't have had long um he he's asthmatic so he was taking his inhalers and the steroid in his inhalers were helping him and we had a course of antibiotics at home which he took because he was ill before me so i think

he was coming out of it but he did go to hospital for about four or five days, but he started to recover, whereas I was getting worse. So he got home still feeling really ill. He was still bad. Knowing that I was in hospital, he couldn't see me. He couldn't, you know, I couldn't really talk on the phone or anything. I'd make Face to calls and i could only just move the mask a little bit i couldn't breathe without the oxygen at all um so he was desperate now he's a really spiritual believer in all of that side of stuff through a friend of a friend he got in touch with june and he actually rang her and she said i've been waiting for your call, Sam. And there'd been no, you know, the friend hadn't told her that he was going to call or anything. And she said, it's about Linda, isn't it?

And it hadn't been in the press then either. And he talked her through, you know, what's happening with me. And she said, right, at seven o'clock tonight, I will go in and I will send her healing and try and get you know her energy moving again um he spoke to me about half past six um I could just about take the mask off and I said I've got to go to sleep he said okay you rest he didn't tell me anything about it that sleep i had then for about an hour and a half i kept thinking of the kids and i thought i'm gonna be okay and i'd given up to be

honest um had you really yeah because this young young guy said to me i can't promise you anything at your age do you know we just we'll see we'll have to put you on a ventilator tomorrow so the doctor had said to you we just don't know this is a bit touch and go yeah oh yeah i mean it was the stage it was at the stage where there was no ppe so they weren't coming in my room my daughter was having to ring reception at the the hospital to come to get them to bring me water um that's terrifying oh yeah i lost so much weight um my limbs everything on me was blue where i wasn't getting enough oxygen what on earth were you thinking at the time well you could when you're ill you don't think straight anyway i just wanted it to stop you know i kind of given up So anyway, these lucid dreams I was having,

and I woke up with a smile on my face, and I just, I thought, I'm going to be okay. I'm going to fight this. It's not going to get me, and blah, blah, blah. And I rang Sam, and I took the mask quite off my face, and I said, don't worry, I'm going to be okay. I'm going to make it through this. I just feel I'm going to be all right. going to make it through this I just feel I'm going to be all right and he said I'd got color in my cheek which I didn't have before

but the funniest thing was June phoned him up and said I've been in her energy it's very stagnant I've got it moving it's moving now it's moving slowly he said but you didn't tell me she's so feisty he said I thought she was going to be like a little flower you know this little girl um but she said she gosh she's spirited isn't that interesting yeah and we've become like really close friends close close friends incredible so you you credit her to an extent with with helping i do i do how do you feel. Just very grateful to still be here. And I know there was so much press about that people are sick of hearing about it. But, you know, I just got home and I was still very poorly for a long time.

Couldn't get up the stairs or anything. It was a good six months. So you had long COVID? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, no, that we were sent out of the hospital because I think the first when Sam and I went in, we were one of the first in there. By the time we left, it was like a war zone. You know how it was. Yeah. We've all kind of forgotten a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, we have. It's not easy to talk about. I know Sam has terrible trouble talking about it. He's quite traumatized by it all. by all but um yeah no i mean we just sat in the garden like everyone looking at the really blue skies you know that seemed to be that year and that beautiful summer and um enjoying nature and just appreciating things more really and not sweating the small stuff that's interesting

isn't it sort of go do you know what there's far bigger things. And to be so young and both of you and to have been so ill. God, that's an extraordinary, really extraordinary experience as well. So for you now at about to be 66, you're grabbing life with both hands. You started telling us about how you moved into acting. So it was just a sort of snowball effect of being asked to do one job, which then led on to something else, which then led on to Panto, which you've been doing for 36 years. I have.

I'd love to do Panto. Why do you love it? You get paid a fortune. You know, growing up, we didn't have a lot of money. And, you know, my parents weren't in a lot of money and um you know my parents weren't in a position to buy me a first car you know i didn't get a lot of help along the way really so i think you know your finances are important to how you live your life aren't they um so yeah i you know panto's been a thing that's um a bit of a bank raid You do work blooming hard for it, but you're still getting paid over the odds.

So it's two shows a day? Two shows, sometimes three. Wow. And there's not many days off in a run of six weeks. That's exhausting. So how do you do that? As a pensioner now, Linda, how on earth do you do that?

Well, do you know what? As a pensioner, this is the first year I've had. I had three offers and I've turned them all down. I'm not doing one. What? I'm having a year off. No, come on.

Yeah. Why? Well, I lost my mum in September last year. And then I went on to do Panto and I wasn't in a good place to have done it. I shouldn't have done it. But it was too late to pull out. You know, I was going through a lot having lost her because I was like her full time carer for six years. When you say you were her full time carer, can I ask what what was what ailed her?

Oh, she's just getting old, you know, but she no. I mean, when I say a carer i i sort of got a shopping and you know had it around for dinner every sunday and i went around there every day for a cup of tea make sure she's all right did all her bills you know that sort of care and you know i wasn't having to you know spoon feed her and she was very very capable um but i was seeing her every single day and it was part of my life and i had to you know adjust things i couldn't really go on holidays and couldn't do stuff because of her but i'm not moaning about that but it was just such a big shock when none of that was there anymore

um and grieving i mean i was still grieving for now. We've just had the anniversary of her death. It's only a year ago. Oh, sorry. So, of course. So I struggled last Christmas and the family just said to me, take a year off, Mum. You know, don't do it this Christmas. So, you know, really against the grain, I have said no. I'll probably do one next year.

And so you've said no to grieve, to be able to give yourself some space. Yeah, yeah, because I haven't really got over it, as you can probably tell. Well, there's no getting over, is there? No, but it does. I mean, having lost my dad six years ago, I know that the pain gets less. But she was such a big part of our family. It's a big gap.

I'm so struck by you talking about your mum. My dad has vascular dementia. My dad did. Oh, did he? But it's very, you know, it is hard work looking after your relative. But I'm struck by how much of a privilege it was for you. Oh, absolutely. I adored her.

I adored her. But, you know, the Alzheimer's is, I mean, it wasn't vascular dementia, but it was dementia. And, you know, she suffered as much as him really she had eight years of hell with him really and it's very difficult because there isn't enough help and if you're still together like your mum and dad were you know two elderly people trying to care for somebody with dementia is incredibly difficult and he was very you know he was a strong italian muscular man that um so he you know it was hard because he was quite forceful in his personality and it seemed that alzheimer's brought out all the worst

side of his personality you know but i just he was a great granddad you know he used to play with them all the time and so to watch my children see his demise as well was hard it is it's a horrible lucy i remember lucy came in the kitchen once and just burst into tears she doesn't know who i am i mean it's an absolute it's a it's a tragedy and it's so cruel dementia it's tough so you absolutely have my sympathy and it's clear how much you miss them both but in particular your mum your mum my mum because you know I felt like maybe you're not quite at that stage yet but you do like that advert that's on at the moment where they you know I lost my mum then and I lost my mum then you know it was the same with my dad I felt like he wasn't my dad at the end yeah yeah

it's a living grief isn't it I think is incredibly hard. So were your parents proud of you? Oh, my dad was the absolute biggest fan. As I said, he kept every single newspaper I was ever in. He'd record every single Emmerdale, you know, he'd just record everything, keep everything. I can't say my mum was my biggest fan when i was doing page three because i think as a tax officer and people coming in to the tax office with the newspapers in the morning they go oh your daughter's in there again again she found it a bit embarrassing i think um but the in the later part she loved watching me in emmerdale um and the bill and all the things and coming to the stage shows um yeah she really enjoyed

enjoyed my fame enjoyed your fame yeah exactly and you're you're their daughter you're the product of them both and become this superstar which is a wonderful thing so you have your own photography business you came from photography so you absolutely understand how you should pose you know how to be beautiful really so is it second nature for you to do that it is because I used to just soak it all up when I was having pictures taken and it but I was put off because it was all expensive to get it wrong everything went through a dark room and all this and as soon as digital came in I started to do pictures for people that I was working with but you know the majority of the stuff that I do is usually for show posters or

PR for a show or you know and I've been lucky to do quite a lot of famous people yeah it's been quite good fun okay just briefly let's talk about your marriage to the actor Sam Cain. You guys have been together forever. So I can remember when I was younger, he was a much younger man than you. And it was a real thing at the time. How do you keep a happy marriage? Because you've been together forever. What's the secret? I think the secret is being best friends we just have such a laugh together and i'd come out of a marriage that wasn't great um so he was just like a knight in shining armor he had everything i didn't have in my previous relationship and i did used to worry about the age difference you couldn't see it so much when we met because he's six foot four and he just looked older because he was so big.

And I look young for my years then. And I did worry about I thought when I get to 60 and he's like 50 or 66 and he's 55 or whatever, I thought then it's going to show. But it really doesn't. And I don't it's never been an issue. It really hasn't. It's all about. It's all about the love you've got for each other and the respect you've got for each other and um having a laugh together and we really do we take the mickey out of each other we have our own little sayings and doings together and we love being just quiet together or or going off doing things together.

I just think it's really, and I've always said that it's the most important decision that you ever make in your life is who you pick as a partner as to whether you have a happy life or not. Don't compromise. If it's not right, get out of it and move on to all those young people out there that's starting out okay let's take a quick break but don't go anywhere linda lussardi because in a moment i'm going to ask you to pick a question from my box of truth the only rules are that you must answer and that it has to be honest. Okay. Don't be nervous.

I am. Indirected by Oscar-nominated Jesse Eisenberg and starring Eisenberg and Emmy Award winner Kieran Culkin, A Real Pain is a comedy about mismatched cousins who reunite for a tour through Poland to honor their beloved grandmother. The adventure takes a turn when the pair's old tensions resurface against the backdrop of their family history. A Real Pain was one of the buzziest titles at Sundance Film Festival this year, garnering rave reviews and acclaim from both critics and audiences alike. See A Real Pain only in theaters November 15th. Oh, that coffee smells good. Can you pass me the sugar when you're finished? Whoa, what are you doing? That's salt, not sugar. Let's get you another coffee. Feeling distracted? You're not alone. Many Canadians are finding it hard to focus with

mortgage payments on their minds. If you're struggling with your payments, speak to your bank. The earlier they understand your situation, the more options and relief measures could be available to you. Learn more at Canada.ca slash ItPaysToKnow. A message from the Government of Canada. This is an ad by BetterHelp. What comes to mind when you hear the word gratitude? Maybe it's a daily practice, or maybe it feels hard to be grateful right now. Don't forget to give yourself some thanks by investing in your well-being.

BetterHelp is the largest online therapy provider in the world, connecting you to qualified professionals via phone, video, or message chat. Let the gratitude flow. Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P, dot com. Welcome back to It Can't Just Be Me, And I'm here with the legend that is Linda Lusardi. And it's time for one of my favourite bits of the show, the It Can't Just Be Me box of truth.

So, Linda, in front of you, you might have to reach across, is a selection of personal questions in our box there. All you have to do is pick one and give an honest answer. OK. Oh, you're going to have to read this for me. I haven't got my glasses. OK, I've got it. Fortunately, I've got my bifocals on, Linda.

Here we go. What kind of character traits are you drawn to in people that, although compelling, can make for difficulties in relationships? Right. She's got a list. Oh, no, I do like a dominant man. Oh. But in a relationship, I do like a dominant man oh but in a relationship i do have a dominant man is some dominant not dominant in the way that he has his he has his beliefs and they can be quite

strong so if i and and actually the worst subject is me putting myself down he gets really angry because he thinks i shouldn't do that and i should you know stop having a go at yourself and stop being negative and stop being defeatist and although i love him for his passion about things i don't like it when it's directed to me well maybe he's right though that he He is right. That's even more annoying. True. But if you're putting yourself down, then what a wonderful partner to have saying, no, Linda, stop that. You know, you're amazing. You're incredibly successful.

You're extremely gifted. That's great to have your champion. Yeah. So it is an attribute that I love, but it comes back to bite me. Can make it difficult in a marriage. I can see that. Well, Linda, thank you very much indeed for joining us today. It really has been a pleasure.

I mean, I could talk to you for a very, very long time. I think you're fascinating. I love the fact that you're a woman that's been at the top of her game and is at the top of her game and has been for 50 years. Long may you reign, can I just say. But before you go, I'd like to ask all of my guests what one piece of advice they would like to give to people. It could be anything, anything that's maybe helped you through your life. What would you say?

I think it's the advice I just gave, that pick your partner well, because they will make a difference to whether you have a good life or a miserable life. That's it for today, but I'll be back next week with a brand new episode of It Can't Just Be Me. But in the meantime, I also want to hear from you, because as I told you at the start of today's episode, something else very exciting is coming. This Friday, November the 1st, we'll be launching It's Not Just You.

These are extra weekly episodes where I'll be joined by different experts and we'll answer your dilemmas. I'll be kicking them off with my friend, the broadcaster and GP, Dr Radha. That's from Friday, November the 1st and every Friday afterwards. So please, if there's something you want to talk about, whether it's big or small, funny or serious, get in touch with us. You can email us or send a voice note to hello at itcan'tjustbeme.co.uk or just DM me on Instagram at itcan'tjustbemepod. Because whatever you're dealing with, it really isn't just you. From Searchlight Pictures comes A Real Pain,

one of the most moving and funny films of the year. Written and directed by Oscar-nominated Jesse Eisenberg and starring Eisenberg and Emmy Award winner Kieran Culkin, A Real Pain is a comedy about mismatched cousins who reunite for a tour through Poland to honor their beloved grandmother. The adventure takes a turn when the pair's old tensions resurface against the backdrop of their family history. A Real Pain was one of the buzziest titles at Sundance Film Festival this year,

garnering rave reviews and acclaim from both critics and audiences alike. See A Real Pain only in theaters November 15th. Got a mortgage? Chances are you're thinking about your payments right now. Need help? Ask your bank about relief measures that may be available to you. Learn more at Canada.ca slash ItPaysToKnow.

A message from the Government of Canada.