It Can't Just Be Me - The Battle to Be Skinny - with Danny Beard

Episode Date: September 4, 2024

Anna Richardson chats to broadcaster and Drag Race UK winner Danny Beard as they share an intimate look into Danny’s lifelong struggle with emotional eating, fad diets, and the growing trend of Ozempic use. In this very honest discussion, they explore the underlying issues driving Danny’s relationship with food and the impact of using “skinny jabs.” Does chasing thinness truly bring happiness?In this episode we’ll be talking about weight loss in a way that could be challenging if you have struggled with disordered eating. So here’s a reminder to always talk to your GP before starting a weight loss plan, and there’s some useful links here for some help and advice if you are struggling: https://audioalways.lnk.to/ItcantjustbemeIGAnd in future episodes, Anna will be answering YOUR dilemmas! If you have an 'It Can't Just Be Me' you would like discussed then get in touch with Anna by emailing [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we'll be talking about weight loss in a way that could be challenging if you've struggled with disordered eating and let's face it a lot of us do. So here's a reminder to always talk to your GP before starting a weight loss plan and there's some useful links in our show notes if you'd like some help and advice. hello i'm anna richardson and welcome to it can't just be me we're back if you've listened before hello and if you're joining me for the very first time it's great to have you here this is the podcast that helps you realize you're not the only one It's a safe space where nothing is off limits as we try to help you understand that whatever you might be going through, it's really not just you. So each week I'm joined by a different celebrity guest who will talk through the challenges and hurdles

they faced in their own lives in order to help you with yours. I want to know about it all, the weird, the wonderful, the crazy, because these conversations are nothing if not open and honest. So let's get started. This week we're turning up the fabulous because our guest today is an international drag performer, singer, podcaster and presenter. They've appeared on Britain's Got Talent, hosted shows on BBC TV and radio, have their own podcast called Gossip Gaze, but most importantly, were crowned the season four winner

of RuPaul's Drag Race UK. It is, of course, Danny Beard. Good morning, afternoon. What is it? It's showbiz, so it's always morning. Well, we're in a sort of darkened room in the middle of nowhere. So, I mean, it's like you've been kidnapped, to be fair, Danny. Good morning, afternoon, what is it? It's showbiz, so it's always morning. Well, we're in a sort of darkened room in the middle of nowhere, so it's like you've been kidnapped, to be fair, Danny. Good morning, gorgeous.

How are you feeling? I'm a little bit tired. I've just done a whole weekend's Saguette Festival in Budapest, landed last night sometime, and jumped on the train to come and see you. You are so showbiz. I just love that. It's like, yeah, I've had to get two connecting flights flights i've just come from an international festival didn't get any sleep

you're feeling shit basically i'm feeling shit so it doesn't feel showbiz but to other people it sounds like you're showbiz you know what showbiz is but um i'm excited to just get stuck in and chat and probably cry at some point probably fart at some point. Oh, do you know what I'm using? That'll be me. Let it all bear. Now look, before we get any further into the chat, let's get to your it can't just be me dilemma. I think there's going to be a lot of gay and queer people that listen to this and agree with me. I think straight people walk too slow.

And I'm sorry, Anna, it can't just be me. Straight people walk too slow. i'm sorry anna it can't just be me straight people walk too slow i know gay speed right you know what you do you put into an app google says it takes five minutes to walk there i see that as a challenge i'm like if that had gay speed that would take two i think there should be the fast lanes rainbow lanes for rainbow people rainbow let's walk for speed walking for faster walking as gay men especially we do that kind of like olympic speed walking where you like roll your hips yes we do i don't know what it is i don't know if it's the years of bullying we don't want to mix too well with with people and have the f-bomb thrown at us in the street. So we just mint super quick. I don't know why all of my queer friends,

we walk really fast. It's not just straight people, but I like to blame straight people. No, I think you should blame straight people. I'm 100% down with that. So I know that it won't just be you that feels as though we need rainbow lanes for rainbow people.

Yeah. I love it. And listen, if you're if you're good enough ally and a fast walker i'm happy for you to use the lane so you could you could pretend let's say you're a straight ally you could overtake in that lane and you could join briefly and just rejoin correct the straight world i've not thought about it that deep but now you've put it that way i'm going meta go meta i'm going real way so they could just just put one just dip a toe into the rainbow lane dip your toe into the rainbow there you go that's how it starts love is love that's how it

starts now listen i'm conscious that you're a person who wears many different hats literally as well as figuratively you're a person of incredible talents but for people who are listening who perhaps aren't fully aware of you danny beard how would you describe yourself and who you are oh god it's how would you say i'm a professional show off basically i love to make people feel good i'm a performer a presenter a singer a personality i suppose a reality star contestant i wouldn't like to say but it's true um but ultimately i'm a drag queen i tour with my own band sing songs be crude tell jokes tell people their outfits are disgusting but i also get to present bits of this and that and the other and host podcasts and move into different spaces.

And yeah, like you say, wear different hats. But I'm a professional show off if we just boil it down. But what I love about what you've said is that I love to make people feel good. I want people to feel good. So where's that from? I think that comes from being younger. I've got one of the very typical gay storylines of bully, bully, bully, bully, bullies. And then I always would think of things quickly in my mind that I could say back to the bullies,

but never had the confidence to say it. Well, now being a drag queen, I've got the super sharp, quick wit, bang, bang, bang. And I don't know. I think if i had the classroom laughing when i was younger i felt like they liked me and then they felt good and then people kind of stopped bullying me as well as a kid i can't describe i don't know i'm unpacking a lot here but it is i know i know that you've not had a lot of sleep either because yeah you've come back from festival so maybe i'm going in hard i know you're good you know let's let's have a

let's have a look at why you want to make people feel good but in a way you're saying I want to make people feel good because it makes me feel good yeah and it's an escape, it's an escape for me it's an escape for the audience do you know what I mean so we just get to it feels like a superpower

like what an amazing job to do go and make people feel good I'm not saving lives lives don't get me wrong do you know i mean i'm not the nhs but but at the same time it's just the best job in the world but in your own way you are saving lives because i mean that is a superpower and i love what you say about that that what a gift to have that it really is i mean i could talk to you all day about you know how fabulous it is to go out there and perform and to feel good and to spread that love and to spread that feeling of, you know, life is OK. But actually, today we're going to be talking about something else that's very, very personal to you.

You've talked about it a lot and that's weight and how to control it. So it's something you've been really open about. to control it so it's something you've been really open about but let's just track back a little bit to being younger tell me about your relationship with your body and how you felt about it growing up because it always starts yeah when we're young our issues with our weight I I already want to say if this is quite an emotional topic for me so So I already feel... Yes, because I have... If you think about my job as a drag queen, I put on these layers and it's almost like an armour, like a mask. And there is things I do that isn't in drag,

like when I present on Radio 1, but there's still almost... There's almost like a layer there between me and the vulnerability. Do you know what I mean? Or if you're on camera, you're not directly in front of that audience at that time. So there's almost that other layer. So when I feel like I speak about this,

it feels very vulnerable, but I'm very happy too, because I know I've spoke about it on my podcast, The Gossip Gaze, and people have spoke to me about it back and gone, oh my God, I feel the same, thank you. So I know the importance of it. I've never liked my body. And I don't know why I've never fit in. When I realised I was gay, I never fit in with the gays.

So look, let's go back a little bit because you're saying I never fitted in when I was younger. I never liked my body. And then I never fitted in with the gays. Yeah. What do you mean by that? Like, I think in the gay community, I never liked my body. And then I never fitted in with the gays. Yeah. What do you mean by that? Like, I think in the gay community, we have stereotypes.

We have, you know, there's bodies that are thirst over more than others. Let's be straight, straight about it. You know, I was never muscly. I was never toned. I never really looked after my body either, being honest, but I just was never conventionally good looking. And I don't, you know, I'm not a conventionally good looking person. You see, I look at you and I think you're beautiful.

It's a lot of filler. It's a lot of work. We've been to the same doctor, baby. Now, I hear you, but I look at you and look, forget the eyebrows, forget the filler, forget, you know, the lips, whatever. You're a really beautiful looking person. Thank you.

So it's interesting to hear you go, I never fitted in. I never felt good about myself. So what was your earliest memory of thinking, I don't feel that I fit in? I think it's when I was really young. I used to get bullied and said, you sound like a girl or you a girl. And I remember realizing I was gay at quite young age, don't know the age, but then blaming the bullies for being gay. I had this weird thing where I was like, they've made me gay. I realized I was gay, but because I was told so much I was gay before I knew I was gay.

That's when it was. And that's when the kind of the self-hate started as well. Cause I didn't want to be at first. Don't get me wrong. Right now. I love it. My whole, I live in a gay bubble. I love being queer. I love being gay. I love all the people around me that I've met. I love all of that now, but talking about then, I hated it and wanted to change it. And it came hand in hand with that. And I think at the same time, I inherited some of my mum's bad eating habits because she struggles with her weight. So if I was sad, let's go and get a McDonald's.

If I'd done well, I was happy, let's go and get a McDonald's. It was, I'm not blaming my mum. She was doing what she knew and how she was brought up but I was rewarded with food and I was commiserated with food so as soon as as well when I was able to make my own decisions my weight spiraled then because I would treat myself or reward myself with food all the time well this I mean mean, we eat our emotions, don't we? Oh, I do. Yeah, well, we eat our emotions. People have very...

This is why it drives me mad when we talk about obesity in this country because, you know, people say that, oh, you know, you just need to eat less or people need to control themselves. Food is an emotional topic, isn't it? So emotional. It's absolutely an emotional topic.

And for many of us, we eat our our emotions and it's a subconscious driver it's not as simple as just you know go on a diet or stop eating so you learned from your mum that you were rewarded yeah if you'd done something well if you were sad you'd be rewarded with food i had the same thing when i was a kid that my mum was taken into hospital when i was four to go and have my little brother so I woke up in the morning and my mum had disappeared and I was told that that she was in hospital so as a four a four-year-old brain of like my mum's disappeared she's in hospital is she gonna die so I felt really really sort of traumatized about where my mum had gone and she was gone for weeks and weeks and weeks and my dad didn't know what to do with us because we were kids so he fed me so I associated food

with love and with being looked after and huge amounts of food so I absolutely get that link and I've always struggled with my weight as well throughout my life so I understand the link so what happened that you started to put weight on I feel like I've so I've also been a massive yo-yo app since 16 17 years of age I'm 32 now yeah I think when I was 18 I remember being 18 stone and I got really big and then I stripped some weight but and I just I found friends that did the same yeah you know I it's it's funny how you're drawn to people that are quite similar to you and when I first got my car at 17 me and my friend I mean we had a joke back in the day you'd leave your handbrake off and your car had rolled to McDonald's that's what people used to say well

my brother said it and then all my friends would say it it's just i was with like-minded people i piled the weight on and then there's the spiral of not fitting in that's when i downloaded grinder so that's an app for getting you knew then that you were gay right and you were out i was out by this point 17 so you're out but still hating yourself absolutely wow and only recently i've been in i've been in a relationship for over a year now with my new partner who i love but even when i first was getting with him like he was unpicking me picking people on grinder to sleep with and he'd be like why do you always go for and i was like what like, why do you always go for? And I was like, what, say it. And he's like, you always go for someone

that you don't even think is that good looking. You want the person to be ugly, like not as good looking as you. And I was like, oh God, yeah, you're right, I do. I do always pick someone, because I'm scared that they would come over and be like, oh, you don't want your picture. I don't know, like so much to unpick.

I told you I'm an oversharer. No, but there's so much to unpick there because that makes sense, I think, for once you want to be the preferred, for once you want to be the best, for once you want to be the most gorgeous, for once you want to be the most accepted. I'm the best looking, slimmest person in here.

It's bad, isn't it? No, it's not bad at all. Of course it's not bad. It's just a reflection of what's going on inside. So at 18, you're 18 stone. Yeah. Hating yourself. Then getting caught up in that spiral of eating because of the self-loathing and the self-soothing.

So what happened then? I think that's when I really started diet culture. Oh, really? What did you try? Slimming World was the best one for a long time. Right. Was never fully... Actually, sorry, that's a lie.

I tried Weight Watchers first with my mum. Yeah. I grew up in Weight Watchers clubs. I was the kids playing with the other Weight Watchers mum's kids while my mum was popping people on the scales. So I tried Weight Watchers first, didn't stick to it because I didn't really want to go. I think my mum could see I was struggling and was like, why don't you try this with me? And then off my own back is when I started the Slimming World.

And I would lose a couple of stone and feel great. And this is another thing that I still do to this day. When people start telling me oh my god you look great something happens and I can't always put my finger on when I start to fall off the wagon that's what I call it falling off the right I'm on the wagon I'm falling off the wagon because well people are telling me I look good so then I start eating more and eating more and eating more well maybe it's that you're being given the permission to go and do it and finally you're accepted. Yeah.

So it's like, oh, finally I've got to where everybody thinks I look okay, great, I can now go and eat. Yeah. Because it's that driver that you secretly want to eat. Yeah. Okay. So you did lots of different diets. Yeah, lots of different.

And I mean, I've done all the fatty diets that don't last. Yeah. You know, keto, I tried that. Couldn't hack it. I've done them all, pretty much. So you lost the weight, but then would always put it back on again? In different time periods. Some really quick, two months, three months.

Some not so much. And do you know what the driver is for you? At the end of the day, what drives you to want to eat? If you've still got that subconscious voice going, it's comforting. what what the driver is for you at the end of the day what drives you to want to eat if you still got that that subconscious voice going it's comforting i love food i love eating because i love the flavor i don't know i feel great when i do it it's like it's almost like an addiction like do you know what i mean i would sit there and I would love eating. I love all different cuisine.

My favourite thing to do is to go out and eat out. I love the experience of going into a gorgeous restaurant that looks nice. It doesn't have to be fancy and expensive. I just like, this is cool. I love being served the food, how it comes, how it tastes. I love everything to do with food. But Danny, that makes sense. Because i love everything to do with food but then but danny

that makes sense because if you think about it with food food equals love doesn't it yeah in families in cultures in going out it's love yeah you know your your parents feed you or your family feeds you because it's it's a a joining together experience isn't it yeah of I am nurturing you because I love you so that makes sort of perfect sense to me that you'd want to go out eat be somewhere beautiful eat something beautiful be with other people and that experience of just togetherness yeah and I suppose growing up that's that's the times I was happiest with my family at you know my cousin's birthday going out for a meal here or doing it like it was always a togetherness feeling and yeah i suppose it's right you're right so then there you are you're you're trying every diet going yeah you're losing the weight but then of

course because you love food you're going back to it once you've got the permission i'm going back to overeating so at what point did you decide okay i'm gonna try the skinny jab we're talking semi-glutide yeah zen pick is the brand name at what point did you think i'm gonna jab did you go to your doctor were you obese or did you do this privately privately interesting i'm being honest yeah no please starting on the first dose the lowest dose and that was that and i and i did shift weight like and and i was probably just creeping up i was 17 and a half nearly 18 stone again when i started this i'm back on it now and i'm the slimmest i've been again for a while there There's no judgment, by the way. Yeah. Looking back on that, what do you think about that?

I think it's dangerous because I think the problem with a Zen pick is, and I've described this to my close friends, sometimes I worry it's almost like giving yourself a chemical eating disorder and i don't i don't want to use that word lightly but like i'm very i can be very sick on it like i can physically vomit a lot shit myself all the time like it's it's uh it's not an easy way of doing it yeah it's not it's not quick fix. It's not what people think, which is why I speak about it, honestly, because I think there's a lot of,

you know, we've all seen the TikTok going around, a Zen pic, you know, you didn't do that alone. Funny, catchy thing. And all the pictures of the celebs, Christina, all these celebs on it. But it's not an easy fix. And I'm knackered. Oh, you see, I'm really interested to hear about all of this.

Yeah, sorry. I keep going all over the shot. No, no, no. You keep me in line, honey. Not, not, not, not at all. It's good to sort of hear about the pros and the cons and the process of doing it. Because as you know, and I think it's really important that people listening know this, that actually semaglutide, which is the chemical, which is a GLIP1 agonist,

its trade name, brand name is Ozempic. It actually was originally prescribed for diabetics. And also the side effect was there was a lot of weight loss, but it controls blood sugar very, very well. And it's been used for people struggling with obesity. So it's recommended on the NHS for people with diabetes and obesity. But you can get it privately prescribed if you are heavy enough. But we know that people are abusing it.

So it is a drug at the end of the day. It is a drug and there are side effects. So for you, give me the cons. When you started jabbing, what were the cons? I mean, it takes a little getting used to as well. You can lightheaded, d dizziness feeling nauseous 24 7 really for the first week i did it i was like i don't think i can do this again

but then got on the scales and was like oh my god i've lost four and a half pound give me the jab in the first week in the first week and i mean that's quite seductive isn't it that's addictive that's that's the pullback do you know what i mean that's that you are going to do this again because exactly i feel like i'm really putting people off it and i don't you know but i'm i want to be honest because it's not you need to be honest because people shouldn't be on it yeah unless you hit that that criteria of your bmi yeah being basically in in the obese category. Yeah.

People shouldn't be using it unless they are obese. Yeah. So it's simple as that. Yeah, for sure. Simple as that. There's a lot of really serious side effects. I sometimes worry as well, like, because I keep saying, like, I'm eight pound away from where I want to be.

I had a jab of it this morning. So I'm thinking, well, then what? Because I know what I'm like and I try the gym, I try this, I try different exercise. Me and my friend, we joke all the time, we call it our fatty brain, just go back straight away to food, food, food, food, food.

Well, while you're on it, because lots of people I've spoken to have said that when they're jabbing, that it just takes away all of that noise. All of it. That's it. You're just not bothered anymore about all the love that you've got.

I love going out to eat. I love being with my mates. I love the flavours. It just goes. The chatter goes. But my boyfriend says I'm miserable. Really? My boyfriend, because as well,

you can't drink alcohol because it slows everything down through your stomach, doesn because it's it slows everything down through your stomach doesn't it it slows everything down through your system and makes food sit there for longer so that the stomach empty and makes you feel fuller for longer yeah along with the other stuff so therefore if you have two or three drinks you're sick really so it's actually making you physically vomit if you have alcohol if you have alcohol so he's like you're miserable you don't anytime you go to an event or things you have one drink and you don't have it because you you and you and you want to have it then you become miserable so this is really interesting to me danica's in a way what you're describing is somebody that's

weighing up yeah life and you're going but on the one hand i'm nearly at my target weight and i look amazing yeah but on the other hand i'm missing out on all of the joy that i correct have that when i go out and eat and drink with my friends i'm missing out on that and even my other half is saying that i'm miserable do you feel miserable on it sometimes do you yeah yeah and and just to go back to the cons because i think it's important you're either backed up constipated or you have like overflow diarrhea they call it which i mean i got back two weeks ago from a gig fell asleep on the couch a lovely new cream couch just to put it into perspective and woke up in a puddle of this backlog. No.

And I've shat the bed with my boyfriend. I mean, I've only been with him a year. Good job he fancies me and loves me because I'd fucking run for the hills if my boyfriend was shitting himself on the regular leave. So you've shat the bed and you've wrecked your cream sofa? Well, I didn't wreck it, thank God,

for Amazon next day delivery. We cleaned it up. Bang, and the dirt is gone. But it's, yeah. This is fascinating. This is really fascinating for me. So, I mean, the cons are really apparent. And like I said, I've done a documentary for Channel 4 about this.

And I've spoken to people who've ended up in hospital because there's very serious pancreatitis that you can get. There's also links to thyroid cancer is one of the is one of the sort of red flags on the leaflet that you get with semaglutide. So you have to be really, really careful. Tell me about the pros, though. I'm not eating like I eat and I am losing weight. though i'm not eating like i eat and i am losing weight and i'm and everybody that i meet says oh my god you look amazing and i don't have that i've had a life of not having that and it makes me feel like oh i am i'm valued like i'm i'm i am attractive I am I have got some kind of value okay it's awful to say but it's the

truth this to me is is everything so when you say it makes me feel like I'm valued what do you mean like like I'm good looking like I am like people notice me in that way. And I think as well with the job I do, I get told all the time, I'm so talented. I'm amazing. I'm amazing. And it's this fake body I put on. It's fake hips.

It's fake tits. It's a corset. It's heels. It's wigs. It's everything I put on and deliver in work is I've created. And it never feels truly me. God, I'm going to end up getting taken straight out of here in a straight jacket.

No. Sent to the priory and given a hot meal. Which I'll then shit out again. Which I'll then shit out in the bed. But I find this really, really fascinating, Dan. So thank you for sharing because it seems to me that what you're saying is I get validated and told that I'm beautiful and acceptable down so you know thank you for sharing because it seems to me that what you're saying is i get validated and told that i'm beautiful and acceptable and valued and attractive when i put on a fake

personality or a fake body but nobody's ever said that about me for me as danny not really now my boyfriend says it all the time obviously and like you like, you know, my ex used to say it or, you know, people I've dated have said it. But in general, whenever I go anywhere, people are like, you look amazing. And if they don't mention your weight, they'll just say, oh my God, you're glowing at the minute. And you know the implications are.

Yeah. You're skinnier yeah and then i also feel hypocritical sometimes because then i sit on my podcast or a podcast like this and promote body positivity um loving yourself but then i feel like well i don't love myself or my body but if i looked at somebody with the body i have i'd say you look great but i don't think it about me so where am I a hypocrite I totally totally understand that you know I'm with you 100% on that I mean I've struggled with my weight my whole life my weight's gone up it's gone down and you're right people will go won't they

god you look have you lost some weight or if they don't say anything that's like oh my god they're obviously thinking that I've put weight on. So we value ourselves and evaluate ourselves, don't we, constantly with how am I being perceived? Am I looking good because I'm looking thinner? Because, as you say, that's what people value. So, I mean, when I was doing the press for the Skinny Jab last year, I was doing loads of interviews with journalists sort of going, oh, there's so many risks associated with semaglutide and blah, blah and obviously it's got to be used correctly and you know yada yada yada and all the cons associated with it and then when I'd come off air half of those journalists

would go I'm on it I'm on it by the way so I mean the hypocrisy surrounding it is quite extraordinary so what would you say to somebody who is thinking of buying it privately or buying it over the internet again i'm hypocritical because i've done it and the one thing i have promised myself is that i want to go to my doctor and ask for wagovi and if they'll give me and do the checks we'll continue and if they won't then that's the right time to stop which is why i think it's important to have this conversation now because there is people that have come up to me and said well you've inspired me talking about it to get it and that was never my intention i'd say do your checks go to your doctor you know there's there's lots of brand names there's lots of other things

other than a zempic where the side effects are less and stuff like that, that if it's right for you, your doctor will prescribe it. But don't abuse it because it is a drug. Do you feel sort of quite psychologically addicted to it? Because like you say, Danny, when you stop jabbing, what's going to happen? Well, that's it. And also, just for context, I've been away.

You have to have it every seven days. And I've been away for 10 days in Budapest at a festival. I could start feeling it wear off on Friday, right? So then I'm at the festival thinking, I'm getting hungrier. And then I'm like, am I getting hungrier? Am I getting hungrier? And then I had quite a big meal on the Saturday. And then I was getting the egg burps, which is something we've not spoken about, but egg burps is one of the things you get if you eat too much fatty foods, the digestion, it sits in

your gut too long, it stinks. I was like, oh, it's still in me, it's still working. It's this weird thing of thinking, oh, it's not in me, it's not working. It is, I need it again. So yeah, I think psychologically you become, this is the only way I can do it. And I do believe it's probably the only way I can do it right now. I feel like it's ruined going back to dieting. You've spoken about some horrific bullying when you were younger. Has that impacted how you feel about yourself and your body? I don't know if the...

I never really got teased too much for being fat. Thank God for being so gay, because that was the first thing they came for, was the gayness. But I think it certainly impacted how i view myself and my value and my reason for being here you know what i mean and my and all of that um it was the most horrendous time of my life like childhood was shit horrendous hated it couldn't wait to grow up i just know what i didn't have any friends I didn't nobody liked me if you will you know I had a few here and there I was a bit annoying as well as a kid I never really fit in

um don't want to be one of the people that go on TikTok and self-diagnose themselves with anything else but I have lots of traits that adhere to all the stuff. And it wasn't until I was an adult and I started doing drag and entertaining people and finding that purpose in my life to, oh my God, I can make people have a good time. And as soon as they were, I was. And all of that started to almost be a value of me and my life and who I am.

Well, here you are now now you're one of the most sorry for making it so deep no listen I I've been very uncomfortable and crossing my legs and putting my hand up I know very I've been very like that and I'm never like that on camera or on mic but I just wanted to come here and be honest and especially with you because I appreciate that honesty thank you that's all we asked for really yeah i know that it's deep you don't have to go deep if you don't want to no i want to i think it's important to i think it's important to actually because it's a truthful reflection yeah of who you are but now that you are one of the best known faces on the scene and in the drag scene without question what was it like for you to suddenly have that overnight fame and acceptance?

How have you coped with fame? The funny thing is, it feels like that to a lot of people, but it also wasn't. It was 10 years in the making. So I had like a little flash in the pan. We mentioned it at the top of the show and I always cringe when I hear it. I did do Britainain's got talent so i did a few bits of tv and i'd worked for so long to try and make it and wanted to give up for so long that when drag race came along it was it was like a catapult and it was almost like an overnight thing worldwide what i'd not had before come to

brazil come to bra come to Brazil I still get that every day now hello if there's anyone watching from Brazil I will come um it was it felt right it felt like I'd spent 10 years on the drag scene in the UK honing my craft having failures when I did Britain's Got Talent we signed with Jonathan Chalet and we got introduced to all these things and I thought oh my god I'm making it oh my god I'm going to be able to go into the next thing and present and do all these things I want and two days later you get a phone call you drop that's it you're done and everything's washed away in an instant and picking yourself back up after that and that I think all those little things and those knocks prepared me for Drag Race. So when it came, it felt right.

I'd had enough years in the industry of fuck-ups or successes that I knew, be nice to everyone. You know, one thing that RuPaul actually said to me when we filmed was, if you continue like this, you will have a long career because I've never met anyone that comes in and says, good morning to every crew, good night to every crew crew you've made an effort everyone here loves you you don't just be nice to me because I'm me and I always I still think of that now and think well that's because 10 years of doing it going into a gay bar I'd say hi to all the bar staff and night to all

the bar staff it's just the the next level of that init? So it felt right. And people say to me now, you're smashing it, you're smashing it. You never feel like you're smashing it. And you never feel like you're famous. I don't think, I think I'm the most said list famous person that there is. There will be people that will stop me maybe in an airport or ask me for a picture, but I still feel like,

I don't know, i hope i never do feel famous in a way because i think that would change you i just i see the jobs i don't get i see oh i was nearly in the mix for this big reality tv show that could change everything and if i get that maybe then i could host this show that i'm pitching to tv companies that love it but are saying we just need a bit more profile on you. You know, I see all that side of the job. Of never quite being good enough or big enough or approved of enough. Yeah, a little bit.

Which is weird that we're addicted to that. Do you know what I mean? I could have just gone and got a fucking job in Pratt and had a nice life, couldn't I? But no. Okay. I mean, I could have just gone and got a fucking job in Pratt and had a nice life, couldn't I? But no. Okay, let's take a quick break just here. But don't go anywhere because in just a moment, I'm going to be asking Danny to pick a card from my box of truth. I can't wait to me and i'm here with the fabulous Danny Beard and it's time for one of my favourite bits of It Can't Just Be Me

and that's my little box of truth which you're fondling nicely there, Danny, I have to say. It's lovely in my hand. You've got the pack of cards. Yes. On each card is a personal question. Love it. Just pick one at random.

The only rules are you just need to answer it truthfully and I know that you will be i'm an open i'm an oversharer too truthful for my own good of the people you spend time with who brings out your best qualities what a lovely question i love that um and especially given that you were talking about i've always just wanted to be accepted yeah i was never good enough that's a beautiful question go on i think it i could list off a list of people here if i'm honest my closest closest friends my boyfriend is my best friend so my boyfriend i'm with now we were friends for quite a few years beforehand I knew him and his

ex-partner he knew me and my ex-partner and you know we were friends and we literally laugh every day so he's probably the number one person in my life right now that brings out the best quality in me and he's not afraid to be like shut up you're doing me I don't know whatever but we just laugh all the time. We're best friends who are boyfriends. But other than him, who's my partner, who's an obvious answer, I've got like a close circle of a few friends who, you know those friends that when your social battery's drained,

they don't drain it. It's no effort. If anything, they recharge it. So I've got a friend from back home katie who have been friends with years she's one of my oldest friends billy who i host my podcast with um mark who's another drag queen i'm gonna forget people now and they're gonna be so pissed off because they're probably the closest i know my management and but then those people i can spend time with and just not... Oh, and Olivia, my bestest girlfriend as well.

Those are my closest people who I can just be with and not... Just be. Just be. And we all bitch and moan and we all have the same... We could all sit on this podcast and talk about our weight, apart from a boyfriend. We could all probably speak about a lot of the things I've spoke about we're all quite similar in that aspect as well but they bring out the best in you but

they bring out the absolute best in me because I laugh and a lot of the things I end up putting into my show funny funny anecdotes that I will put into my live show have come from just sitting with these guys and having a laugh. So you can be your true self. A hundred percent. With them. Danny, thank you so much for making the time to be with us. I know that it has been really difficult

to pin you down because you're everywhere. I mean, you know, you are- I'm blessed. I'm stressed. You are blessed and stressed, but you're flying around everywhere. You're entertaining the world.

So thank you for taking the time to be with us in our studio but before you go yes could you share with us just one bit of wisdom or advice that you've been given that you either respect or that you like to live by i think always play the long game there's a lot of times in this job that you could ego clash with people, you could see as a challenge, and in any job, which is why I think this is an important bit of information. One of my bestest mates, Gordon, said this to me, and he as well has recently been on my show, but he's always said, play the long game. What do you want out of life? And if it's just happiness, or if it's this certain job how are you going to

get that and what's the best way of getting it and the best way normally is to also just be fucking nice to everyone because that's you're going to get there with the long game so always play the long game you can put that into anything that's it for today but i'll be back next week with a brand new episode of it can't just be me but in the meantime I also want to hear from you so please if there's something you want to talk about whether it's big or small funny or serious get in touch with us you can email or send us a voice note to hello at it can't just be me.co.uk and if you want to see more of the show remember you can find us on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook.

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