It Could Happen Here - CZM Book Club: Because Change Was the Ocean and We Lived by Her Mercy, by Charlie Jane Anders, Part Two
Episode Date: January 25, 2026Margaret concludes reading you a story about subculture and love and how things changeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....
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It invites us back home to ourselves.
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Hello, and welcome to Cool Zone Media Book Club.
The only book club where you don't have to do the reading, because I do it for you.
I'm your host, Markert Kiljoy, and this is part two of a two-part story,
which means that if you didn't listen to part one, you won't have heard half the story.
And it's up to you how you feel about that.
What I would feel is really negative about that, personally.
Maybe you feel differently.
The story that you're going to hear part two of,
While I am slightly loopy and recording this at 12.30 in the morning after running around being yelled at by cops in Minneapolis,
the story is called, because change was the ocean and we lived by her mercy by Charlie Jane Anders.
Ah, today was the general strike, but I didn't work until after midnight, so it doesn't count, right?
I didn't break any general strikes.
That's how clever I am.
I actually worked all day because I work as a journalist.
But whatever. Anyway, we won't tell anyone I did work by reporting on the general strike.
But whatever, I know you're excited about the story. I'm actually very excited about the story.
Because change was the ocean and we lived by her mercy by Charlie Jane Anders.
And this story was originally published in Drowned Worlds, a 2016 short story collection, edited by Jonathan Stahen.
We didn't have enough food for the winter after that.
So a bunch of us had to make the trip up north to Marin, by boat and on foot, to barter with some gun-crazy farmers in the hills.
And they wanted free labor in exchange for food, so we left Weyo and a few others behind to work in their fields.
Trudging back down the hill, pulling the first batch of produce in a cart, I kept looking over my shoulder to see our friends staring after us, as we left them surrounded by old dudes with rifles.
I couldn't look at the community the same way after that.
Yoconda fell into a depression that made here unable to speak or look anyone in the eye for days at a time,
and we were all staring at the walls of our poorly repaired dormitory buildings,
which looked as though a strong wind could bring them down.
I kept remembering myself walking away from those farmers.
The way I told Wio, it would be fine.
We'd be back before anyone knew anything.
This would be a funny story later.
I tried to imagine myself doing something different,
putting my foot down maybe, or saying,
fuck this, we don't leave our own behind.
It didn't seem like something I would ever do, though.
I had always been someone who went along with what everyone else wanted.
My one big act of rebellion was coming here to Burnall Island,
and I wouldn't have ever come if Julia hadn't already been coming.
Miranda saw me coming and walked the other way.
That happened a couple of times.
She and I were supposed to have a fancy evening
together. I was going to give her a bath, even if it used up half my water allowance, but she canceled.
We were on a tiny island, but I kept only seeing her off in the distance, in a group of others,
but whenever I got closer, she was gone. At last I saw her walking on the big hill, and I followed
her up there, until we were almost at eye level with the Transamerica pyramid coming up out
the flat water. She turned and grabbed at the collar of my shirt and part of my collarbone.
You got to let me have my day, she hissed.
You can't be in my face all the time, giving me that look.
You need to get out of my face.
You blame me, I said, for Wayo and the others, for what happened.
I blame you for being a clingy wet blanket.
Just leave me alone for a while.
Geez.
And here, dear listener, I want to apologize for the fact that I'm not really doing voices.
For I, your narrator, am exhausted, just really, really tired.
So I hope you will bear with me.
Back to the story.
And then I kept walking behind her,
and she turned and either made a gesture that connected with my chest
or else intentionally shoved me.
I fell on my butt.
I nearly tumbled head over heels down the rocky slope into the water.
But then I got a handhold on a dead route.
Oh, fuck, are you okay?
Miranda reached down to help me up, but I shook her off.
I trudged down the hill.
alone. I kept replaying that moment in my head when I wasn't replaying the moment when I walked
away with a ton of food and left Wayo and the others at gunpoint. I had thought that being here
on this island meant that the only past that mattered was the grand, mysterious, rebellious history
that was down there under the water in the wreckage of San Francisco. All the wild music submerged
between its walls. I had thought my own personal past no longer mattered at all.
until suddenly I had no mental energy for anything but replaying those two memories.
Uglier each time around.
And then someone came up to me at lunch as I sat and ate some of the proceeds from Wayos and Denture.
Chris or Jamie, I forget which.
And he whispered, I'm on your side.
A few other people said the same thing later that day.
They had my back. Miranda was a bitch.
She had assaulted me.
I saw other people hanging around Miranda and staring at me,
talking in her ear, telling her that I was a problem and they were with her.
I felt like crying, except that I couldn't find enough moisture inside me.
I didn't know what to say to the people who were on my side.
I was too scared to speak.
I wished Yoconda would wake up and tell everybody to quit it,
to just get back to work and play and stop fomenting.
The next day I went to the dining area.
sitting at the other end of the long table for Miranda
and her group of supporters.
Miranda stood up so fast, she knocked her own food on the floor,
and she shouted at Yosni,
just leave me the fuck alone.
I don't want you on my side or anybody else.
There are no sides.
This is none of your business.
You people, you goddamn people.
What are you people even about?
She got up and left, kicking the wall on her way out.
After that,
Everybody was on my side.
Six.
The honeymoon was over, but the marriage was just starting.
I rediscovered social media.
I'd let my friendships with people back in Fairbanks and elsewhere run to seed during all this weird.
But now I reconnected with people I hadn't talked to in a year or so.
Everybody kept saying that Olympia had gotten really cool since I left.
There was a vibrant music scene now,
and people were publishing Zoot books and having storytelling slams and stuff.
And meanwhile, the government and Fairbanks had decided to cool it on trying to make the coast fall into line,
though there was talk about some kind of loose articles of Confederation at some point.
Meanwhile, we'd even made serious inroads against the warlords of Nevada.
I started looking around the dormitory buildings and kitchens and communal play spaces of Bernal,
and at our ocean reclamation machines, as if I was trying to commit them to memory.
One minute I was looking at all of it
As if this could be the last time I would see any of it
But the next minute I was just making peace with it
So I could stay forever
I could just imagine how this moment could be
The beginning of a new more mature relationship
With the wrong-headed crew
Where I wouldn't have any more illusions
But that would make my commitment even stronger
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You know, Roaldol, the writer who thought up Willie Wonka,
Matilda, and the BFG.
But did you know he was also a spy?
Was this before he wrote his stories?
It must have been.
Our new podcast series,
The Secret World of Roll Doll,
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His job was literally to seduce the wives
of powerful Americans.
What?
And he was really good at it.
You probably won't believe it either.
Okay, I don't think that's true.
I'm telling you.
The guy was a spy.
Did you know Dahl got cozy with the Roosevelt's?
Played poker with Harry Truman
and had a long affair with a congresswoman.
And then he took his talents to Hollywood.
where he worked alongside Walt Disney and offered Hitchcock
before writing a hit James Bond film.
How did this secret agent wind up as the most successful children's author ever?
And what darkness from his covert past
seeped into the stories we read as kids.
The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote.
Listen to the secret world of Roll Dahl
on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
wherever you get your podcasts.
Like if we're on the air here,
and I literally have my contract here,
and I'm looking at, you know, as soon as I sign this,
I'm going to get a seven-figure check.
I've told them I won't be working here in two weeks.
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I really just had never experienced anything like what was going on in the city as far as like, you know, seeing so many young, black, affluent, creatives in all walks of life.
The church had dwindled almost to nothing.
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I sat with your condo and a few others on that same.
stretch of shore where we'd all stood naked and launched candles, and we held hands after a while.
Yoconda smiled, and I felt like sea was coming back to us, so it was like the heart of our community
was restored. Decay is part of the process. Decay keeps the ocean warm. Today, Yolanda had wild
hair with some bright colors in it, and a single strand of beard. I nodded. Instead of the
guilt or fear or selfish anxiety that I had been so aware of having inside me, I felt a weird
feeling of acceptance. We were strong. We would get through this. We were wrongheaded. I went out in
a dinghy and sailed around the big island, went up towards the ruins of Telegraph. I sailed right
past the Newsome Spire, watching its carbon fiber cladding flake away like shiny confetti. The water looked
so opaque. It was like sailing on milk. I sat there in the middle of the city, a few miles from
anyone, and felt totally peaceful. I had a kick of guilt at being so selfish, going off on my own
when the others could probably use another pair of hands. But then I decided it was okay. I needed
this time to myself. It would make me a better member of the community. When I got back to Bernal,
I felt calmer than I had in ages, and I was able to look at all the other.
others, even mage who still gave me the murder eye from time to time, with patience and love.
They were all my people. I was lucky to be among them. I had this beautiful moment that night,
standing by a big bonfire with the rest of the crew, half of a some level of naked, and everybody
looked radiant and free. I started to hum to myself, and it turned into a song, one of the old
songs that Zell had supposedly brought back from digital extinction. It had this cool,
about the wild kids in the war dance, and a bridge that doubled back on itself.
And I had this feeling, like maybe the honeymoon is over, but the marriage is just beginning.
Then I found myself next to Miranda, who kicked at some embers with her boot.
I'm glad things calmed down, I whispered. I didn't mean for anyone to get so crazy.
We were all just on edge, and it was a bad time.
Huh, Miranda said.
I noticed you never told your peeps to cool it, even after I told the people defending me to shut their faces.
Oh, I said, but I actually...
And then I didn't know what to say.
I felt the feeling of helplessness trapped in the grip of the past, coming back again.
I mean, I tried. I'm really sorry.
Whatever, Miranda said.
I'm leaving soon, probably going back to Anheim, Diego.
I heard they made some progress with the nanomex after all.
Oh, I looked into the fire until my retinas were all blotchy.
I'll miss you.
Whatever, Miranda slipped away.
I tried to mourn her going, but then I realized I was just relieved.
I wasn't going to be able to deal with her hanging around like a bruise
when I was trying to move forward.
With Miranda gone, I could maybe get back to feeling happy here.
Yolanda came along when we went back into Marin to get the rest of the food from those farmers
and collect Wayo and the two others we had left there.
We climbed the steep path from the water,
and Yoconda kept needing to rest.
Close to the water, everything was the kind of salty and moist
that had gotten used to.
But after a few miles, everything got dry and dusty.
By the time we got to the farm, we were thirsty,
and we'd used up all our water,
and the farmer saw us coming and got their rifles out.
Our friends had run away, the farmer said.
Wayo and the others, a few weeks earlier.
and they didn't know where.
They just ran off, left the work half done.
So, too bad, we weren't going to get all the food we had been promised.
Nothing personal, the lead farmer said.
He had sunburnt cheeks, even though he wore a big straw hat.
I watched Yuconda's face pass through shock, anger, misery, and resignation
without a single word coming out.
The farmers had their guns slung over their shoulders,
enough of a threat without even needing to aim.
We took the cart, half full of food instead of all the way full,
back down the hill to our boat.
We never found out what actually happened to Wayo and the others.
A new year doesn't mean erasing who you were.
It means honoring what you've survived and choosing how you want to grow.
It means giving ourselves permission to feel what we've been holding
and knowing that it's okay to ask for help.
I'm Mike Dolorotcha, host of sacred lessons.
This podcast is a space for men to talk openly about mental health, grief, relationships,
and the patterns we inherit, but don't have to repeat.
Here, we slow down, we listen, we learn how vulnerability becomes strength
and how healing happens in community, not in isolation.
If you're ready to let go of what no longer serves you
and step into the year with clarity, compassion, and purpose.
Sacred Lessons is your companion on your healing journey.
Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike Delo Rocha on America's number one podcast network,
IHeart.
Follow Sacred Lessons with Mike Delo Rocha and start listening on the free IHeart Radio app today.
The moments that shape us often begin with a simple question.
What do I want my life to look like now?
I'm Dr. Joy Harden Bradford.
And on therapy for Black Girls, we create the same.
space for honest conversations about identity, relationships, mental health, and the choices
that help us grow. As cybersecurity expert, Camille Stewart Gloucester reminds us,
we are in a divisive time where our comments are weaponized against us. And so what we find is a lot
of black women are standing up and speaking out because they feel the brunt of the pain.
Each week, we explore the tools and insights that help you move with purpose. Whether you're
navigating something new or returning to yourself.
If you're ready for thoughtful guidance and grounded support, this is the place for you.
Listen to Therapy for Black Girls on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
You know Roll Doll, the writer who thought up Willie Wonka, Matilda, and the BFG.
But did you know he was also a spy?
Was this before he wrote his stories?
It must have been.
Our new podcast series, The Secret World of Roll Doll, is a wild journey through the hidden chapters of his
extraordinary, controversial life.
His job was literally to seduce the wives of powerful Americans.
What?
And he was really good at it.
You probably won't believe it either.
Okay, I don't think that's true.
I'm telling you.
I was a spy.
Did you know Dahl got cozy with the Roosevelt's?
Played poker with Harry Truman and had a long affair with a congresswoman.
And then he took his talents to Hollywood, where he worked alongside Walt Disney and
Alfred Hitchcock before writing a hit James Bond film.
How did this secret agent wind up as the most successful
children's author ever, and what darkness from his covert past seeped into the stories we read as
kids. The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote. Listen to the secret world of Roll Dahl
on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The social media trend that's
landing some Gen Z years in jail. The progressive media darling whose public meltdown got her fired.
I'm going to take Francesco off the network entirely. The massive TikTok boycott against Target
that makes no actual sense. I will continue getting stuff from Target.
and I will continue to not pay for it.
And the MAGA influencers, whose trip to the White House ended in embarrassment.
So refreshing to have the press secretary after the last few years who's both intelligent and articulate.
You won't hear about these online stories in the mainstream media,
but you can keep up with them and all the other entertaining and outrageous things happening online in media and in politics
with the Brad versus Everyone podcast.
Hosted by me, Brad Palumbo.
Every day of the week, I bring you on a wild ride who the most delulu takes on the internet,
criticizing the extremes of both sides from an independent perspective.
Join in on the insanity and listen to the Brad versus Everyone podcast on the Iheart radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Seven.
That's such an inappropriate line of inquiry I don't even know how to deal.
I spent a few weeks pretending I was in it for the long haul in Bernal Island after we got back from Marin.
This was my home.
I had formed an identity here.
that meant the world to me, and these people were my family.
Of course I was staying.
And one day, I realized I was just trying to make up my mind,
whether to go back to Olympia or all the way back to Fairbanks.
In Fairbanks, they knew how to make thick-cut toast with eggs smeared across it.
You could go out dancing in half a dozen different speakeasies
that stayed open until dawn.
I missed being in a real city, kind of.
I realized I'd already decided to leave Sanford's.
Francisco a while ago, without ever consciously making the decision.
Everyone I had ever had a crush on I had hooked up with already.
Some of them I still hooked up with sometimes, but it was nostalgia sex rather than anything
else.
I was actually happier sleeping alone.
I didn't want anybody else's knees cramping my thighs in the middle of the night.
I couldn't forgive the people who sided with Miranda against me, and I was even less able to forgive
the people who sided with me against Miranda.
I didn't like to dwell on stuff,
but there were a lot of people I had obscure, unspoken grudges against all around me,
and then occasionally I would stand in a spot where I'd watched Wayos sit
and build a tiny raft out of sticks,
and I would feel that anger rise up all over again,
and myself mostly.
I wondered about what Miranda was doing now,
and whether we would ever be able to face each other again.
I'd been so happy to see her go
But now I couldn't stop thinking about her
The only time I even wondered about my decision
Was when I looked at the ocean
And the traces of the dead city underneath it
The amazing heritage that we were carrying on here
Sometimes I stared into the waves for hours
Trying to hear the sound waves trapped in them
But then I started to feel like
Maybe the ocean had told me everything it was ever going to
The ocean always sang the same notes.
It always passed over the same streets
and came back with the same sad laughter.
And staring down at the ocean
only reminded me of how we thought
we could help to heal her
with our enzyme treatments a little at a time.
I couldn't see why I'd ever believed in that fairy tale.
The ocean was going to heal on her own,
sooner or later.
But in the meantime, we were just giving her
meaningless therapy.
that made us feel better more than it actually helped.
I got up every day and did my chores.
I helped to repair the walls and tend the gardens and stuff.
But I felt like I was just turning wheels to keep a giant machine going
so that I would be able to keep turning the wheels tomorrow.
I looked down at my own body,
at the loose kelp and hemp garments I'd started wearing since I'd moved here.
I looked at my hands and forearms,
which were thicker, calloused, and more vainy
with all the hard work I'd been doing here.
But also, the thousands of rhinestones in my fingernails
glittered in the sunlight,
and I felt like I moved differently than I used to.
Even with every shitty thing that had happened,
I'd learned something here,
and wherever I went from now on,
I would always be wrong-headed.
I left without saying anything to anybody,
the same way everyone else had.
A few years later, I had drinks with Miranda on that new floating platform that hovered over the wasteland of North America.
Somehow we floated half a mile above the desert and the mountaintops.
Don't ask me how, but it was carbon neutral and all that good stuff.
From up here, the hundreds of miles of parched earth looked like piles of gold.
It's funny, right? Miranda seemed to have guessed what I was thinking.
All that time, we were going on about.
the ocean and how is our lover and our history and all that jazz.
But look at that desert down there.
It's all beautiful, too.
It's another wounded environment, sure, but it's also a lovely fragment of the past.
People sweated and died for that land, and maybe one day it'll come back, you know?
Miranda was, I guess, in her early 30s, and she looked amazing.
She'd gotten the snaggle taken out of her teeth and her hair was a perfect wave.
She wore a crisp suit that seemed powerful and relaxed.
She'd become an important person in the world of nanomex.
I stopped staring at Miranda and looked over the railing down at the dunes.
We'd made some pretty major progress at rooting out the warlords,
but still nobody wanted to live there in the vast majority of the continent.
The desert was beautiful from up here, but maybe not so much up close.
I heard Yokonda killed herself, Miranda said.
A while ago, not because of anything in particular that had happened,
just the depression that caught up with here.
She shook her head.
God, C was such an amazing leader.
But hey, the wrong-headed community is twice the size it was
when you and I lived there and they expanded onto the big island.
I even heard they got a seat at the table of the Confederation talks.
sucks that Yokonda won't see what Seabilt get that recognition.
I was still dressed like a wrong-headed person, even after a few years.
I had the loose, flowy garments, the smudgy paint on my face that helped obscure my gender
rather than serving as a guide to it, the straight line, thin eyebrows, and sparkly earrings and nails.
I hadn't lived on Bernal in years, but it was still a huge part of who I was.
Miranda looked like this whole other person, and I didn't know whether to feel ashamed
that I had moved on or contemptuous of her for selling out or some combination.
I didn't know anybody who dressed the way Miranda was dressed
because I was still in Olympia where we were being radical artists.
I wanted to say something, an apology,
or something sentimental about the amazing time we had shared,
or I don't even know what.
I didn't actually know what I wanted to say and I had no words to put it into.
So after a while I just raised my glass and we toasted to wrongheadedness.
Miranda laughed, that same old wild laugh as our glasses touched.
Then we went back down to staring at the wasteland,
trying to imagine how many generations it would take
before something green came out of it.
The thanks at the end of this from the author that are in the original text is
thanks to burrito justice for the map and Terry Johnson for the biotech insight.
and what Charlie Jane Anders wrote about this story,
what the author wrote about this story
for her short story collection, even greater mistakes.
Quote,
After I wrote, my breath is a rudder,
a story about people building a seawall
to predict San Francisco from rising sea levels.
I always meant to go back and write
another queer first-person story
that takes place after San Francisco is claimed by the ocean.
Enter Jonathan Strahan,
who asked me to contribute to a post-climate change,
anthology called Drowned Worlds. I had a lot of fun imagining the San Francisco
archipelago using a map that Brian Stoeckel and Burrito Justice had created of the city
following 200 feet of sea level rise. Still, I had a lot of trouble finding my way into
this story because I was feeling burned out on depressing post-apocalyptic tales.
Then my partner, Annalie Newitz, asked me why exactly this story had to be depressing
or post-apocalyptic. Why not write about people who were
rebuilding and bouncing back.
This insight gave me the breakthrough I needed,
and this became a hopeful story
about young people living their lives and building
something new in the wake of catastrophic climate change.
That's the end of the piece from Charlie,
and it's really funny to me because,
especially the second half of the story,
isn't really very helpful to me.
Instead, for me, it's this very nostalgic piece,
you know, especially thinking about this
like being still dressing
wrong-headed and hanging out with someone who's like basically a yuppie now, right?
Or are they, right?
Or they're like presenting that they're like wearing a suit and they seem to have their shit together, right?
But it's like interesting because I'm reading what they're claiming to have accomplished.
Like, oh, we've pushed back the warlords.
But no one actually wants to live in the desert.
And then I'm like, well, the warlords were living in the desert.
I don't know.
But it's so interesting to me.
You know, maybe it's interesting to me because I'm sitting here wearing my punk clothes.
I don't know if I have too much to say about the story that I haven't already said,
but it sits in my head, this way of expressing what it feels like to have been part of a culture and moves on.
But also, like, my God, the part about Wayo is so dark.
It's so dark.
But I think about how, you know, getting through those youthful years of, like, more full subculture where I'm like,
oh, this is my family.
I'll be in it forever.
I'm like, man, a lot of those people are dead.
And here I am.
And here you are.
And, well, I don't know, take care of each other, love each other, meet your neighbors.
Whether or not you like your neighbors, meet your neighbors.
We have to keep each other safe.
Fuck ice.
And I'll talk to you next week.
It could happen here is a production of Cool Zone Media.
For more podcasts from Cool Zone Media, visit our website,
CoolZone Media.
or check us out on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
You can find sources where it could happen here updated monthly at coolzone media.com
slash sources. Thanks for listening.
A new year doesn't ask us to become someone new.
It invites us back home to ourselves.
I'm Mike Delarocha, a host of sacred lessons, a space for men to pause, reflect, and heal.
This year, we're talking honestly about mental health, relationships, and the patterns we're ready to release.
If you're looking for clarity, connection, and healthier ways to show up in your life,
Sacred Lessons is here for you.
Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike Delaroach on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
The more you listen to your kids, the closer you'll be.
So we asked kids, what do you want your parents to hear?
I feel sometimes that I'm not listened to.
I would just want you to listen to me more often and evaluate situations with me and lead me towards success.
Listening is a form of love.
Find resources to help you support your kids and their emotional well-being at soundedouttogether.org.
That's sounded outtogether.org.
Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal.
You know, we always say New Year, New Me, but real change starts on the inside.
It starts with giving your mind and your spirit the same attention you give your goals.
Hey, everybody, it's Michelle Williams, host of checking in on the Black Effect Podcast Network.
And on my podcast, we talk mental health, healing, growth, and everything you need to step into your next season, whole and empowered.
New Year, Real You.
Listen to checking in with Michelle Williams from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I didn't really have an interest of being on air.
I kind of was up there to just try and infiltrate the building.
From the underground clubs that shaped global music to the pastors and creation.
Creatives who built the cultural empire.
The Atlanta Ears podcast uncovers the stories behind one of the most influential cities in the world.
The thing I love about Atlanta is that it's a city of hustlers, man.
Each episode explores a different chapter of Atlanta's rise, featuring conversations with ludicrous,
Will Packer, Pastor Jamal Bryant, DJ Drama, and more.
The full series is available to listen to now.
Listen to Atlanta is on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
is an iHeart podcast guaranteed human
