It Could Happen Here - CZM Book Club: Cool Zone 2055: How to Survive (the Dino Wars)

Episode Date: January 5, 2025

Margaret and Mia discuss the headlines here at the start of the year 2055 during world war 3.5.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Jason Alexander and I'm Peter Tilden and together our mission on the Really No Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor? What's in the museum of failure and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to ReallyNoReally.com and register to win $500 a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. The Really No Really podcast.

Follow us on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B. As we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join the conversation.

Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. CoolZone Media. Hello, and welcome to CoolZone Media Book Club, your only book club that's about dinosaur wars in 2055. I'm your host, Margaret Killjoy, and for the last little bit, we've been running episodes from Cool Zone Media's future. In December, we called it Cool Zone Media 2054 Reports from the Dino War. But since it's 30 years in the future, it's now 2055. War doesn't rhyme with five. That's why we're bringing you Cool Zone 2055 How to Survive the Dino Wars.

Anyway, here's a missive from the future. Hello, and welcome to Cool Zone 2055, How to Survive the Dino Wars. It's another beautiful year in the climate apocalypse civil war. I figure for a while at least, we'll focus on tips and tricks for how to get through the year and how to get through the war. Talk to frontline fighters and backline fighters and people just trying to get through all of this. Today though, we're just going to run through some headline news to give us a sense of where we're at here at the start of 2055.

It has been a busy couple of weeks. And then we've got a special report on Singapore and on supply chain logistics from our own Mia Wong. So if you're sick of hearing me, you should stick around or fast forward. You can probably fast forward, but you should stick around because I'm going to read you the news. Well, the Sierra Nevadas got their first snow of the 2050s over the weekend, which gave the soldiers stationed at Lake Tahoe some much needed diversion.

If you haven't seen videos of baby dinosaurs sledding. You're missing out. The center-left, revolutionarily aligned, New People's Liberation Force of Louisiana announced today that they've taken control of Baton Rouge, driving out the independent warlord Don Raptor, who had gone from the showy proprietor of the dino zoo Don's Wild Pets,

to becoming dictator of one of the most climate ravaged parts of North America. Don's fate is unknown at this time. This new expansion of territory marks the first time that the NP LFL has extended their control past the city of New Orleans and of course is likely to cause backlash from the Christian nationalist group the Louisiana People's Force for Democracy and Freedom. But it's still a cause for celebration. It's always a cause for celebration when people succeed at doing good stuff, even if there's always an inevitable backlash. The Deputy Prime Minister of Canada, John Harold Chris James, announced today at a press conference that Canada is now revoking the residency permits of all citizens of the former United States who were granted residency in exchange for building the wall along its southern border.

Now that the wall is 90% completed, basically they're done with us. Chris James said that the residency program, officially called the Turn Your Backs on Your Shitty Country to join our Great One program, was a remnant of quote, World War Three and a moment of sheer desperation by our great country, and that all Americans should get the fuck out and fix their own country. It was of course a statement from the Deputy Prime Minister of Canada because the Prime Minister of Canada, the right-wing former Twitch streaming star, Maximus Roamsmith, has not made a public appearance in two years, and that analysis of all publicly available material from him appears likely to be

deepfake scripted by Chris James working with old-fashioned chat GPT style AI. So no one knows where Maximus is. Normally I'd say good riddance, but Chris James? Not any better. The Democratic-Confederalist Congress of Africa celebrated their 15th anniversary today across large chunks of the continent. 15 years ago, they were a dream put together by a combination of Pan-Africanists and internationalists. Now, they control about 80% of the continent in the spirit of ethnic pluralism, cooperative economics, and decision-making structures and justice systems that serve as a model

to the world, despite living in one of the most climate-change ravaged continents on the planet. Fighting continues against the white nationalist forces that control South Africa and against Islamic forces along the northeast coast of the continent. The Zapatista Army for National Liberation celebrated 61 years since they walked onto the world stage with an armed uprising. They did this celebration by holding an enuantro, a meeting of internationalists who have supported them all these years. The EZLN, followed by the Roshavin revolution, are seen by many as the two most important precursors to the modern internationalist movement, and representatives

from more than 6,000 revolutionary projects attended this year's incuantro. Celebrations were marred by a terrorist attack from right-wing forces that killed seven and wounded 34. And while we're at it with death tolls, last week there were an estimated 23,000 internationalist soldiers killed around the world. Reanimation camps run by nationalist forces in Russia and the United States killed an estimated 40,000 people, most of whom were ethnic minorities and or the disabled. It is likely that another 6,000 people were killed by heat in the southern hemisphere as another hell-mouthed summer has begun.

And 200,000 people starve to death worldwide. We remember and celebrate the lives of everyone who has died in this struggle. We will fight until no one starves to death, until no one is locked by national borders into a territory struggling with the climate crisis, until no one is killed and then reanimated as zombies by the Nazis who seek to rule the world. Neo pop punk upstarts The Goblin Girls announced they're going on tour with their hit second album Drown in Your Own Blood, Nazi Scum. They promised they'll play some of their old songs for the true fans,

like they might play the ballad, I'm going to jerk off to the video of my brontosaurus stepping on your face, you Nazi scum. Or the more fast paced, I collect your teeth, you Nazi scum. The six piece band says that they're dedicating the tour to the memory of the rap duo Hag Club, who had announced at the beginning of last year that they, Hag Club, would tour all of 2054 in contested territory or until they were killed for it, which tragically is what happened. The Goblin Girls said in their press release, quote, well,

we come out of an unaffiliated anarchist militia fighting in Tennessee, so it's not like we thought we were going to survive 2055 anyway. We here at Cool Zone Media wish them the best of luck. But it wouldn't be a Cool Zone Media podcast of the 2050s if we didn't shout out our most generous sponsor, Dino Cadence. You might be thinking to yourself, didn't Dino Cadence start off as an avant-garde burlesque troupe run by a bunch of sex workers who were involved in the militant Dino rescue programs in the late 2040s? And if you did think that, you would be thinking right.

Dino Cadence is proud of its history, proud of its present, and most importantly, proud of its contributions to the future of humanity. That's right, Dino Cadence, the world's most popular dinosaur rider trainer program. Every day is Dino Day at Dino Cadence. Though they're most famous for training soldiers for battle, they're excited to launch the new Backline training program. Do you dream of being a dino vet, taking care of the wounded and sick reptilian soldiers

fighting for a free world? Or do you dream of becoming a dino trainer, working with some of the smartest beasts to ever walk the earth? Or maybe you want to become a dino therapist because every soldier is impacted by the war, including the animals, and they all need our help. If so, dino cadence might be right for you. Tuition is free, but positions are limited, so apply today. This podcast is also brought to you by Leverage.

Do you want to join the fight to expose right-wing agents within liberated or contested territories? Then join Leverage, the open source intelligence club that finds and stops right-wing terror plots before they start. For more information about L about leverage, just say, I would like to know more about leverage within hearing distance of your phone,

and they'll reach out to you. That's a joke. They're not listening to your phones. Probably. Apply on their website. This podcast is brought to you by Dead Again Deliverables, your one-stop shop for everything the modern zombie hunter needs.

Whether you're hunting the dead one-on-one in Vegas, or fighting them en masse in the war-ravaged Sonoran desert, Dead Again Deliverables has you covered. Ice picks, crossbows, morning stars, piano wire, body armor, alarms, booby traps, zombie detection apparatus. They've even got a few cases of the new experimental dead again poison. This stuff is harmless to the living, but deadly to the dead. With free delivery all over the world, you can count on dead again. Dead again deliverables, because you only live once, is enforceable by force.

Studies on dead again poison have not yet published their findings. While dead again poison has been proven effective at killing the reanimated dead, it has not yet been proven harmless to the living. I'm Jason Alexander and I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Lily podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal?

The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the wooly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stunt man reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah, really.

No Really. Go to ReallyNoReally.com. And register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead. It's called Really No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you can find it on the iHeartRadio app on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast And we're back okay more headlines for you The gray wolves the nationalist force that runs most of turkey launched a major offensive into Kurdistan this past week, making heavy use of their signature bio-weapon, zombie direwolves.

Ed Zitron covered this on the show about two years ago in more depth, so you can go check that out if you want. I think it's the episode called Wolves Wolves Everywhere. But basically, Turkish scientists brought direwolves back from extinction, but found them too uncontrollable and generally not violent enough because wolves only kill when they're hungry. So they began a process of killing and reanimating the wolves. Zombie dire wolves are slower and less capable in battle, but like all reanimated dead, it

is very easy to direct them to kill. The offensive comes at an unfortunate time, as most of the people's defense units of the area are currently fighting elsewhere, because the area was seen as pretty safe. The attack really came out of nowhere. Civilian militias have begun to repel the attack, but at great cost. This week we also mourn the loss of Warren Van Beek. You probably haven't heard of Warren Van Beek, and there's a reason for that. For 20 years, Warren worked deep undercover within the white nationalist movement in Johannesburg, feeding information to anti-fascists. It's thanks to

Warren's work we know about the failed Nationalist Unity Conference of 2050. Garen Robert did a whole week on this topic back then when the findings came out, and it's worth going back and listening to. But in brief, well, the Nationalists have a pretty major internal conflict, an internal conflict that serves us well. There are three major factions on the Nationalist side. There's the Stalingrad faction, the Dallas faction, and the Johannesburg faction. The Stalingrad faction believes that all the nationalist forces should be united under

a single leader, Russia. The Dallas faction, they believe more or less the same thing, but think that the US should be in charge. The Johannesburg faction, joined by hundreds of regional forces from around the world, believes that the alliance between nationalist forces should not be unified, but instead the global right-wing should stay decentralized. It's good to know that they have the same problems we do. It was Warren von Beek who exposed this divide to the internationalist community at great risk to himself, and the internationalist community's social engineers have been able

to do an awful lot of deepening that divide. This is a war full of nameless behind-the-scene heroes, and now that he's dead, we can acknowledge that Warren von Beek was one of them. If it weren't for von Beek's work, we might all right now be living under nationalist Stalinist governance. We don't yet have the full details about his death, but it seems as though he died clutching a grenade when fascist forces raided his house. He took four of those fuckers out with him. Rest in peace, Warren. Glad you blew yourself up so they can't reanimate your body. While we're on the subject of right-wing infighting, this time it's bad news about

that. It's, uh, it's on infighting, in alliancing. The Arizona and anti-pope Benedict the 17th announced today that his army of the righteous Catholic faith has signed a peace treaty with the white nationalist Protestant leader John the New Baptist paving the way for new Catholic slash Protestant unity fighting for a white nationalist America. This ends or at least pauses three years of bloodshed between various shades of far-right Christians.

Benedict XVII and his followers were, of course, formally excommunicated from the Catholic Church ten years ago during the Disconcordant, when Benedict XVII told his followers that the Pope was the Antichrist for having supported citizen efforts to end World War III. In much better news, scientists have announced that good boy Benny is now the oldest dog to have ever lived, having reached 30 years of age. Benny was the second dog to have undergone age

delayment treatments and the first one to be so successful. But there are tens of thousands of beloved friends across the world who have now lived extraordinarily long lives thanks to the age delayment treatments. Fifteen years ago, scientists claimed, by 2055, dogs and cats will live as long as humans. Of course, when they said that in 2040, they didn't realize that war and climate change

were about to drop the worldwide life expectancy by 30 years or so. So dogs and humans are racing to keep up. An anti-fascist revolt in the heartland of white nationalism broke out over New Year's. An unnamed anti-fascist group in Knoxville, Tennessee, put out a press release calling their revolt, The Night of Nat Turner. And then they went on a targeted killing spree of local nationalist bureaucrats, as well as several prominent racist figureheads. They killed a total of nine targets.

16 of the rebels were killed in the attack, while another six have made it to free West Virginia. And that's about where we're at here at the start of 2055, besides all the stuff that went on in Singapore, which we have some in-depth reporting from Mia about that and about the state of the supply chain. But first, it's time for a little ad break, don't you think? You've been thinking, it's been too long since Margaret cut to ads.

What's with all this filler? I know a lot of you all subscribe to CoolerZone Media just to get the weird edited, just the ad transitions. So, you know, here's an ad transition. It's time to stop eating houseplants. The Council for Countering Houseplant Consumption would like to remind you that most houseplants are mildly toxic to humans and do not contain nutritional value. The videos telling you, Pothos is a superfood, were likely cooked up in a Dallas misinformation

lab. Do not eat houseplants. Are you tired of suffering from climate grief syndrome? Overwhelmed by hot summers and mass extinction? Do you want to spend your time riding a stegosaurus through the remaining forests of the world? Rifle in hand? Friends close by? Listening to the birds? Shooting clear cutters? The Earth's Lungs Defense Force might be right for you. We are looking for dedicated environmentalists willing to stand between the lungs of the Earth and the corporations that are trying to destroy them.

All potential applicants must pass a mandatory background check to determine eligibility. Disqualifying factors include an inability to distinguish between sustainable harvest and clear cutting, or impulse control, or a sentimental attachment to human life. The ELDF advocates violence and is considered a terrorist organization by all nationalist sustainable harvest and clearcutting, or impulse control, or a sentimental attachment to human life. The ELDF advocates violence and is considered a terrorist organization by all nationalist governments as well as roughly 20% of internationalist governments, and even application to the ELDF may be considered criminally punishable in your jurisdiction. Joining the Earth's Lungs Defense Force has not yet been tested in double-blind studies

to reduce the symptoms of climate grief syndrome. Ask your therapist today if joining the Earth's Lungs Defense Force is right for you. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like... Why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you, and the one bringing back the wooly mammoth.

Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stunt man reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Brian Cranston is with us today. How are you, sir? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really No Really, sir.

Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's the opening? Really No Really. Yeah. No Really. Go to ReallyNoReally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition signed Jason Bobblehead.

It's called Really No Really and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. you get your podcast. We turn now to a different kind of war update. Much has already been said about last week's sudden collapse of Singapore's ruling People's Action Party and the wave of assassinations that finally broke the stalemate on the Singaporean front. I will leave the immediate military analysis to others, stopping here only to note that running an entire social system based on having a bunch of servants to pour cups of water for you so you don't have to get up for your couch is an extremely bad way to run a society both morally and logistically and move swiftly on.

What I am interested in, however, is how Singapore became a threat in the first place, and how shifts in global supply logistics heralded, but not entirely produced, by World War 3.5, has led us to the end of Singapore, one of the world's most brutal settler colonies at the hands of internationalist and indigenous guerrillas. Singapore's relative weakness in their war against both the internationalists and their own population has been in large part a product of what we've been calling the devolution of the supply chain. The devolution of the supply chain we've seen over the last half decade was, of course,

a devolution in a double sense. On one hand, control of the vast global supply chains administered by massive corporations devolved down to either networks of coordinating councils or the logistics wings of state armies. On the other hand, supply chains were now largely run by dinosaurs. As we all remember well, on the day of a Suez's in 2049, when a trans woman named Lily Baker, and catch the first interview she's done since she literally went underground in season 2 of Under the Pants and Under the Ground, tasked with keeping the internet running across three quarters of the world's cargo ships, simply walked away from her desk after

being mistreated on the job one too many times and never came back, causing a pileup of ships in the Suez that remains to this day. The tattered remains of the old globe-spanning supply chains collapsed completely. In their wake, the decentralized networks of light manufacturing that had sprung up as attempts by civilians to survive the previous world war by producing the things they needed to survive for themselves, revved into full gear. To supply them, vast land convoys made of packs of

cortheosaurus pulled massive carts of supplies to areas too contested for the surviving train networks to function. Meanwhile, on the high seas, after a brief foray into a resurgence of sailboats, proved unable to meet the challenge of running ships in the age of the Vishnu shield, various types of ichthyosaurus have been instrumental in moving supplies across the oceans. The massive supply platforms, they haul, are of course home to the famous pirate parties, the Pterodactyl-mounted buccaneer dino riders who've played such a crucial role in cutting fascist logistics lines across a hundred fronts.

We'll be talking about the platformists and their pirate parties on the show in a few weeks, so stay tuned for that. But in the meantime, it's not just pirate activities that weaken Singapore's defences. Chinese deindustrialization is of course an old phenomena, dating back to the nearly prehistoric 2010s when I was still a bright-eyed young lass, still wearing men's clothing and posting in text on the original Twitter. But it was in the rust belts of Shenzhen, eviscerated by decades of a paradoxical combination of trade wars and offshoring that intensified the movement of capital down the Mekong Delta and into the Chinese interior of previous eras, that the

Third Chinese Civil War began. And it was the devolution of the supply chain that finally ended, once and for all, China's role as what early 20th century writer Andreas Malm called the smokestacks of the world. But what does all of this have to do with Singapore? Some of you already know that Dino riders from the either optimistically or nihilistically named final Shanghai Commune, the successor to the second and third Shanghai Communes of the 2030s and 2040s, were instrumental in cutting off fascist reinforcements from Beijing. But the most extensive damage inflicted on Singapore by the devolution of the supply chain was economic.

Singapore's role as a financial clearinghouse for capital in the Pacific Rim was already being made obsolete by the shift of capital away from the old Chinese and more modern Vietnamese rust belts, even before the old supply chains collapsed completely. But as they disappeared, much of Singapore's economy went with it. When Neo-Neyom City, the first city that's a perfect circle, sank beneath the waves two years ago, it took most of Singapore's capital reserves beneath the waves with it. Now fatally weakened and besieged by internationalist forces, all it took was some clever weapon smuggling and the rage of an indigenous population forced to endure the endless cruelty of the Chinese Singaporean settlers to topple the People's Action Party's one-party state. To everyone on the front lines, we came for the first time to declare today Singapore,

tomorrow the world. And that's where we stand. It's a bright, bold new year. I can't claim in all good conscience that it's gonna be better than last year. It'll probably be worse. Most years are gonna be worse. Whatever, you're old enough to know this. Every year is worse than the year before because of the climate apocalypse and encroaching fascism. But there are still so many beautiful things that we accomplish and

there's such beautiful lives that we can lead. Are lives that are shorter any less valuable? No, not at all. A life is a life is a life. And so we're going to live our best ones. Here at Cool Zone Media, we're always here to remind you that. And we're also here to remind you, don't eat your houseplants. It could happen here as a production of Cool Zone Media.

For more podcasts from Cool Zone Media, visit our website, coolzonemedia.com, or check us out on the iHeard radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find sources for It Could Happen Here, updated monthly, at coolzonemedia.com slash sources. Thanks for listening. I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission.

On the Really No Really podcast. Is to gather the best of the best. And we're going to be talking about the best of the best. And we're going to be talking about the best of the best. And we're going to be talking about the best of the best. Thanks for listening. And register to win $500 a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition sign Jason Bobblehead. The Really No Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B. As we dive deep into the world of non-traditional Relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating sex and love every Monday and Wednesday

We both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms tune in and join the conversation Listen to decisions decisions on the black effect podcast network. I heart radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts