It Could Happen Here - CZM Book Club: Pathfinder: Dawn of the Frogs, Part Three

Episode Date: November 16, 2025

All is not well in Bogbottom...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. In the heat of battle, your squad relies on you. Don't let them down. Unlock elite gaming tech at Lenovo.com. Dominate every match with next level speed, seamless streaming, and performance that won't quit. Push your gameplay beyond performance with Intel Core Ultra processors. For the next era of gaming.

Upgrade to smooth, high-quality streaming with Intel Wi-Fi 6E and maximize game performance with enhanced overclocking. Win the tech search. Power up at Lenovo.com. On this week's episode of the next chapter, I, D.D. Jakes, get to sit down with Oprah Winfrey, a media mogul philanthropist, and global trailblazer. I could feel inside myself at four or five years old

looking through the screen on the back porch that this is not going to be my life. Listen to the next chapter on the iHeart Radio at Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast, episodes drop weekly. I'm Robert Smith, and this is Jacob Goldstein, and we used to host a show called Planet Money. And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history. And some of the worst people, horrible ideas,

and destructive companies in the history of business. First episode, how Southwest Airlines use cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline is. the most Texas story ever. Listen to business history on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What up, y'all? It's your boy, Kevin on stage.

I want to tell you about my new podcast called Not My Best Moment, where I talk to artists, athletes, entertainers, creators, friends, people I admire who had massive success about their massive failures. What did they mess up on? What is their heartbreak? And what did they learn from it? I got judged horribly. The judges were like, you're trapped.

I don't know how you got on the show. Check out Not My Best Moment with me kept on stage on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. CoolZone Media. Book club, book, club, club, club, club, club, Don of frogs, club, don of frogs, Club. Don of Frogs.

Don of Frogs. Don of Frogs. Don of Frogs. Don of Frogs. Don of Frogs. Don of Frogs. Hello, and welcome to Cool Zone Media Don of Frogs. The only Don of Frogs where you don't have to do the reading because I play it for you with all my friends.

That will make no sense if you're only listening to this and not the rest of Cool Zone Media Book Club, which is the feed that this one is in, unless it's the future and it's in a different feed. I don't know what's going to happen. I'm wearing a very soon. strange hat. I am your host, Margaret Kiljoy, and we are doing tabletop role-playing, and we're specifically playing Pathfinder. We're playing Pathfinder's second edition revised for anyone who wants to nerd out about that kind of thing, which you should, because it's kind of my favorite tabletop role-playing game. And I am very lucky because I'm joined by a bunch of my friends, and also my friend who's the creator of the original Pathfinder, and one of the people involved

in the second edition revised. Who's Jason, who I'm now going to hand it over to? Hi, Jason. Hi, Hi there, everybody. I'm Jason Bowman. I'm the director of Games at Paiso, and I'm thrilled to kick off the third episode of Dawn of the Frogs, our Game Night Adventure. I hope you are all excited

for more fun here today. When we last left, our intrepid band of adventurers, the four heroes found themselves in a tiny town called Bog Bottom on the north edge of the Isle of Cortos after, having been unceremoniously dumbed on the shore by a captain because they had no coin in their purse whatsoever.

You found yourself in this town, desperate for a job, desperate for some action, desperate for some fun, when the townsfolk began to talk and murmur about a number of their fellow townsfolk who had gone missing in the dark, dirty, dank depths of the Dunmire swamp. Somewhere around the old mill, the four of you ventured out to this old mill to find its leaning dilapidated structure sticking crookedly out of the swamp surface. You ventured

inside only to find it infested with beetles and a giant lizard. And upon reaching the top, you found that it had a pair of giant frog people. These creatures known as boggards are a well known site for those who live in the

Dunmire Swamp. Most of them are peaceful, friendly. You know, swamp traders, merchants. people living their lives. But these two were not. They were holding a pair of villagers captive. And worse still, they were waiting to ambush the four of you. The battle was fierce.

There were people falling through holes to the floor below. There were frogs running around trying to hit people with morning stars. And there was plenty of alchemist fire thrown about the room. But in the end, you managed to be victorious. And the four of you rescued a pair of. villagers won Halprin and Peneeria, and you dragged their unconscious bodies back to town. There in Bog Bottom, you received a hero's welcome. A feast, a celebration, spontaneously thrown in your honor for rescuing these two.

You also managed to recover a fair bit of loot, some of which you have already divvied up amongst you, some magical weapons, including some scrolls and some potions and some bombs and all sorts of stuff, all sorts of goodies that you have already distributed amongst yourselves. But before we kick off today's story, why don't I throw it around the horn for everybody introduce themselves briefly and their characters equally briefly? Spite, we'll start with you. I'm spite. I'm fresh from the creche of the revolutionary order that worships a God whose name I absolutely know, named Malani. And I feel very, very strongly that people should not be in cages and I am very willing to hit people with a spiked stick until they stopped putting people in cages.

That makes good sense. Trant, why don't you take next? Well, I'm Trant. I'm an explosives officianto and insurgent bomber. Some people call me a mad bomber, but I feel like I have a pretty good temper for the most part. And I more or less, you know, blow up whatever spite says, it's okay to blow up. And right now, I'm feeling pretty good because I think we all learned a valuable lesson, you know, which is that when you break into someone's house

and start setting off explosives and attacking people, you wind up being a hero and everything ends well. And that's the only moral lesson I need to take from this adventure. Boy, lessons are being learned, that's for sure. Mertie, do you have a lesson to teach us? Soup. Oh, good. That's good stuff.

I'm Sister Murgragana Bo. I'm a soup nun, a half-work cleric. That's all you need to know. I got perpetual stew on a bindle and it heals people. And last but not least, Squash. What's up, gamers?

This is Squash here. I'm a rowdy little dog man. I used to rob Banks for the Revolution, a little bit for the Rev, and a little bit for Daddy. And then I got stitched up until my new best friends, they busted me out.

And here we are in Bog Bottom. It's a sword tail. You wouldn't be interested. Squash. That's me. Well, I would hope that everyone's interested in our sword tale because it continues right now.

A larger meal in good night's rest Cures most ailments And so it is with the adventurers At the old mill yesterday As the first rays of dawn creep across the moss pig Bog bottoms only in There's an urgent knock at the door Outside

La Drusa, the town's healer Looking worried and rather exhausted As if she did not sleep at all last night Impatiently waits for you to answer the door hurry she says gather up your things she goes on to explain it's the villagers you rescued they're awake but they aren't acting as themselves they want to go to the boggards and they don't remember their lives in town here at all and i fear if we don't cure them soon they might forget us all forever la drusa is knocking on each of your doors each one of you has your own room i would

assume, or if you like, you can rent the larger adventurer's suite in the moss pig. I guess we didn't figure that out, but you're all awoken by Ludrusa nonetheless and asked to come with her at your soonest convenience. Squash definitely has his own room. Trans preference is probably going to be to crash out in front of the doors of everyone else on a little cop on the ground. So like in the hallway or? Yeah, like a dog. Yeah, sure. Okay. Yeah, that tracks. Both hands and a foot touching each of our doors. I like pull the door open just in a jockstrap and I say,

Halperin in Panaria, they're awake. And I like rush down to go see what they have to say. Yes, meet me at the House of Rest as soon as you are ready. La Drusa, who is a kind middle-aged elephant woman? She beckons you to come to this place, the House of Rest. It's actually where you took them last night when you arrived. You were asked to kind of help get them. them to this modest kind of house of healing in town.

Do you think it was the fault of the wheelbarrel? Do you think they were in the wheelbarrow too long? I start looking to Mertie and Trant and Squash. Do you think that I didn't move the wheelbarrow over the path correctly and they maybe hit their heads and, well, no, that doesn't make any sense. Could you imagine if we lived in a world where you went to bed injured and then you woke up still injured? That would be so terrible.

What a terrible fantasy that would be. But we live in the real world. Don't even say that spite. We live in the real world. real world. So why aren't they better? I feel better. And I was hit by a lot of stuff last night. I'm worried about them. And then I start trying to say all this while also putting chain mail on, which is very hard to do while talking. Yeah. I mean, I got a medical theory here, which is like, you know, when people need to get up in the morning, they have a hot beverage,

right? Mm-hmm. So maybe if we really need to wake people up, we need an even hotter thing. Yeah. You think he'd fire? I'm thinking like maybe a grenade, yeah. I think you're cooking them with gas. The best part of waking up is alchemist fire in your pants. I think we just give them some soup. They'll be fine. Soup heals all. Well, we should get to the house of rest.

And hopefully that they got enough rest except what do we do if they've changed their personalities, but they still genuinely want to go back there? Can we even tell them that they can't? That's an interesting question. Funny you should mention it, actually. All of you, by the way, are fully healed and back to your full health and capacities. Like normal people. Yeah. But as you gather up your gear and make your way to the house of rest, it's literally you go downstairs in the moss pig and go outside. This is a swamp town,

by the way, so all of the foot traffic and whatnot is generally on raised wooden walkways, kind of above the swampy surface. It takes you just a minute or two to make your way over to the house of rest. And inside, you find Ladrusa in the main room of the place. There's a pair of cots there with Halperin and Paneria on the cots. And although They aren't exactly restrained. You do notice they have like heavy blankets and stuff on them. And they seem to be like trying to rise. And La Drus is like, no, no, you're not well enough yet.

Please, please, just rest. And La Drusa, she says, I'm glad you've come. It's quite serious. If you'd like, I'd like to talk to you about it back in my office. And she walks back. La Drusa has a couple of assistants who are helping. And they're putting sponges on the foreheads of the pair of villagers. And although they are conscious now, they definitely look kind of feverish.

Yeah, I'll follow Ledrusa. Yeah, I'll go in, too. Ledrusa escorts you back into her office, and she says, I've been treating them all night, and they only just roused a few hours ago, but almost immediately upon regaining their senses, they spoke only of the Boggards and wishing to return to them. I tried to talk to them about their lives. I even considered summoning their family, but in their current state, I'm afraid, that might be confusing or even frightening for their spouses and children.

It is very troubling, and I also investigated that strange fungus you brought back that you found in the boggered layer up in the mill. It is not entirely one that I'm aware of. It is very similar to some other funguses that I have seen that cause delusions and foggy memory. Big raised eyebrows from squash on that, but I stay quiet. I've managed to convince the pair of them to stay while they recover their strength, but I'm very worried. They don't seem to remember living in Bog Bottom at all. Are you sure that they lived in Bog Bottom, and these aren't maybe doppelgangers?

Are you sure that we don't have a, and there's a lit candle on our table that I pull underneath my chin, a body snatcher situation? Well, I would certainly hope not. they seem to be the villagers we all know. They're still dressed in the clothes that they were seen in the day they went missing. There appear to be them and all of my

tests and care seems to be working. They seem to be human. Trant once told me that body snatchers respond different to fire than regular people and that the way to test, you know, now that I say this aloud, I think Trant was maybe incorrect. I mean, no, no, no, definitely.

Like, if someone's not themselves, the best way to tell is by burning them because that will burn away the false outer skin and reveal the true inner skin unless it's just them, in which case they'll just get burned. Well, speaking of skin, I like this fire idea, but maybe before we burn them, have we called in their identical twins to see if they have the same birth marks? Right, we should be burning their twins first. What's the secret?

What did they get for their 12th birthday? Like, how much have we really investigated? What was the name of their childhood pet? What was the street they grew up on? Ladrissa looks at all of your ideas, and she looks a little concerned about some of them, but says, well, perhaps we might try some of those, but I have another idea first. I believe that they have some sort of poison or toxin in their system that is clouding their minds. Now, I happen to know of a powerful alchemical palliative that will purge these toxins from their body.

But unfortunately, I do not have the ingredients. for them here. I was wondering if I could call upon you to aid us once again and retrieve the three ingredients that I need. Yeah, I hear you, but have you tried the soup? It is good soup. I would be happy to feed them

some of the soup that you have brought. I'd be happy to, but I also think that we should perhaps investigate finding these three ingredients. They would prove vital in attempted to purge them of these toxins. It's like they're still in a cage, and we need to get them

out of the cage. Well, I got some lysurgic acid and some ergot fungus and some dilettamilathele... I can never pronounce that you're the doctor. Maybe? Are you a doctor? Anyway, that'll probably cure them. I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with those ingredients, but what I am looking for are some ripe lantern berries.

I could also use three pale waning mushrooms and the petals from a tomb flower. Now, fortunately, I know where all of these ingredients can be found, but I myself must stay here to care for them. But if you could go and find these ingredients, I would be able to purge these toxins from their body and perhaps bring them to their senses. Once Squash realizes these are like square chemicals, his frown is just like an upside-down you. Okay. Well, why don't we go get those? But I haven't eaten anything. Could I have some soup, Mertie?

Sure can. Yes, as a matter of fact, I shall draw you a map and arrange for you to have a raft. And perhaps while we're doing that, we can all enjoy some soup. Oh, whor-whu-v-vo-v-v-huh. Yeah. What's the soup today, Mertie? Well, it's got a lot of lizard in it right now. I hope you like sweet and sour.

Lizard soup! I don't know if I've said this into a mic. This is a perpetual stew that is kept alive by the members of my soup cult that has magical healing properties due to it being perpetual stew. I was wrong about food safety last time. I said 165 as the temperature. Real perpetual stew needs to be kept at 200 degrees minimum

because boiling. This one's finest. That's just first day perpetual stew stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's first day of perpetual stew school. The one person who got deathly ill from taking your advice last time, God damn you! And is imprisoned from listening to your advice last time.

Your entire soup cult fell apart because of Listeria A squash is lapping the soup up out of a bowl I'm drinking it out of one of my empty alchemist flasks and periodically reaching for the wrong one

and going to go, oh, wait, no. I'm just dipping my spoon that I keep on my belt into the main cauldron and just eating out of it. I'm doing that, but with my soup ladle that I also fight with. This ladle can do everything.

It sure can. How's the map coming? Ludrusa is preparing this map for you. She also explains that she can provide a barge for you to get around the swamp. The mill you were able to get to on foot. But if you're going to go into the deeper swamp, you need to take a barge because their vast expanses of the swamp are not traversable by land. And she says, well, I'm having one brought in for you,

but most of them are in use right now. It'll take about an hour or so before it's ready. So if there's any last things you need to do around town, perhaps pick up some more provisions or ask around. You should do so now. I have a last thing we need to do around town. Yeah. We got a break for ads.

Yeah, we got to go to the ads. The party barge is not free, you know? The party barge that we're taking to get mushrooms, it costs money. Well, we buy products in town. You buy products. Buy some soil? I don't know who advertises. Probably.

Why not? Here it is. In the heat of battle, your squad relies on you. Don't let them down. Unlock elite gaming tech at Lenovo.com. Dominate every match with next level speed, seamless streaming, and performance that won't quit. Push your gameplay beyond performance with Intel Core Ultra processors for the next era of gaming. Upgrade to smooth high-quality streaming with Intel Wi-Fi 6E and maximize game performance with enhanced overclocking.

Win the tech search. Power up at Lenovo.com. On this week's episode of the next chapter, I, T.D. Jakes, get to sit down with Oprah Winfrey, a media mogul philanthropist and global trailblazer. My life, although it may look like an anomaly, it has only been possible because I was obedient to the calls. This episode dies deep into how Oprah turned pain

into purpose and what it really means to evolve with everybody watching. Every decision I have ever made has come from sitting with the spirit and asking God, what would you have me do first? Whether you're rebuilding, reimagining, or just trying to hold it together, this one will speak directly to you. Listen to the next chapter on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever. you get your podcast episodes drop weekly what up y'all it's your boy kev on stage i want to tell you about my new podcast called not my best moment where i talk to artists athletes entertainers creators

friends people i admire who had massive success about their massive failures what did they mess up on what is their heartbreak and what did they learn from it i got judged horribly the judges were like you're trash i don't know how you got on the show boo somebody had tomatoes I'm kidding but if they had tomatoes they would have thrown the tomatoes let's be honest

we've all had those moments we'd rather forget we bumped our head we made a mistake the deal fell through we're embarrassed we failed but this podcast is about that

and how we made it through so when they sat me down they were kind of like we got into the small talk and they were just like so what do you got what ideas and I was like oh no what

check out not my best moment with me Kevin on stage on the high I heart radio app, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Robert Smith. This is Jacob Goldstein. And we used to host a show called Planet Money. And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history.

And some of the worst people, horrible ideas and destructive companies in the history of business. Having a genius idea without a need for it is nothing. It's like not having it at all. It's a very simple, elegant lesson. Make something people want. First episode, how Southwest Airlines use cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline business.

The most Texas story ever. There's a lot of mavericks in that story. We're going to have mavericks on the show. We're going to have plenty of robber barons. So many robber barons. And you know what? They're not all bad. And we'll talk about some of the classic great moments

of famous business geniuses, along with some of the darker moments that often get overlooked. Like Thomas Edison and the election. Listen to Business History on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. I'm just so proud of all of you. That was beautiful.

Thanks. You've trained as well. Yeah. Yeah, we learned from the best. Now, in addition to those ads, I have several ads for places around town. There are, in fact, three places you may wish to do. Is one of them a casino? I'm afraid not.

There's no bog-bottom casino, unfortunately. Can we please take spite to the casino? I'm walking down the street with Trantz, and I, like, pull on Trant's coat, and I say, hey, hey, hey, bud, look, and there's a neon side that says secret opium dead. So you guys find us there three hours later. Anyway, Jason, take it away. Yeah, yeah, you go into the bog-bottom casino four days later you come out, and they're like, the villagers left, and everything's,

screwed now, thanks. And we say four days. We thought it was two hours. Yeah, there's no clock in there. No, so there are three places you may wish to visit around town. Bok Bottom is a very small place, to be clear. It's not exactly a large metropolitan community. In fact, you've really probably only got three places you want to visit.

There's a place called Mudfly supplies, and this is a shop that mostly caters to people venturing out in the swamp to do, like, fishing and gathering instead. stuff like that. There is the moss pig, the tavern and inn that you are staying in if you wanted to go get some food or perhaps hear local stories and get the kind of situation on the swamp. And then finally, there is a place, a small shop called The Sinking Pony that sells kind of generic goods and supplies. Could I dance on the stage in my heels at the Sink Pony Club? we're having fun here so those are the three places you have to visit

for the sake of expediency if folks want to visit some things I'll let each one of you visit one of the places so two of you can visit one place together or however you want to do mudfly supplies sells stuff for the swamp moss pig is all about rumors knowledge getting some food and sinking pony is more like generic supplies

I want to go gossip at the kitchen of the mosspig I was thinking also about going to the Moss Pig because I spent all my money getting this new fancy rune put on my Morning Star. Ah, yes. You took one of the runes from the weapon and had it transferred. Yes.

This ruin, and there's a secret section function to the new Morning Star that I added. Now, it's pretty complicated, but what you're going to want to do... Is it the bottle that you tape to the tip? Yeah, well, it's a lot more complicated than just taping it. There was glue involved. Oh, okay.

But yes, yes, essentially. I'm excited. By the way, Trant, can you please give me a craft check for your improvised explosive device? Sure, of course. Oh, oh, I got a 17, naturally. Oh, no, it's great. Yeah, it's going to work great. You're sure. Folks at home can't see my expression of uncertainty. Anyway.

You know, Trance has gotten me through a lot ever since we broke him out of jail, so I trust him implicitly. Yeah, I trust me implicitly, too, boss. I trust most people implicitly, unless they put people in cages. Then I hit them with a stick. That's fair. All right. So, Spite and Murdy are going to go to the Moss Pig. We got mudfly supplies and the sinking pony.

I'm going to go to the sinking pony because I need stuff there and also a really good shop name. As a connoisseur of fantasy shop names, you knocked it out of the park, Jason. I think I'm actually going to mudfly. I think I realize that I'm like, well, what if we need waiters? I'm actually really excited about getting the gear to go around. I've never been in the swamp before. for, so.

All right. So, Spite's going to go to Mudfly. Sounds like Mertie's going to go to the Moss Pig. Squash is going to go to Sinking Pony. Trent, you get to choose what place you're going to double up at. Sinking Pony. I got to get some reagents to make more bombs. I can't believe we're letting Squash and Trent go to the same place.

I'm sure it'll be fine. It's going to be great. What an opportunity. Now, boss, before you go off to the reagent place, I'm an expert on bog survival. I haven't been to a bog, but I'm pretty sure I'm an expert. So, you're going to, want high-legged pants, like the shortest shorts that you can get, right? Really, really short shorts.

Okay. And just socks, no boots. You know, if you have boots over your socks, then you're going to get footrod. But if you just keep putting on new dry socks over the wet socks, that's how you stay healthy in the bog. And that's about it in terms of bog. Trent's just built different, everybody. Okay.

That's how you need for the mug. I put my hand on spite's shoulder to say, he's not technically wrong, but don't follow that advice. Okay. All right. So let's start this out at mudfly supplies. Spite, you make your way over to this wooden shack that sits near the swamp's edge. Atop the building is a large wooden fly that has been spattered with muddy moss. As you approach the shop, it's kind of, it's not really a shop you go into. It's more like a booth kiosk kind of thing that you just walk up to. And sitting inside the place Is a rather large

And gregarious Boggard Who's Like And as you approach He's like Hello Welcome to mudfly supplies

Hi I'm Spite I'm new to going around in swamps We're going to be in a barge Which I'm really excited I think it probably comes with a pole I probably don't need a new pole I think Yeah, probably not

What do you think we need for I look around and look kind of Is it just like waiters and nets and Yeah, it's stuff like nets and waiters And he's got some other stuff too He's got clearly some things behind him That looks like bombs or potions or something That you might want to ask about

But he's like when you first ask what would you need He looks at you and says Burt Bight Bight you want bait And he holds up a sack Of squiggling worming bait

which he is also eating okay well I'm not actually sure we're here to fish we're actually here on kind of a scavenger hunt and I'm sure it's going to be easy I'm sure the only problem we'll have to deal with this flies except actually now that I think about it last time we went out we had to

fight a lot of people and objects or not objects but animals but I guess well if you think we need bait then we probably need bait but what's that stuff behind you the stuff always need bait And he's like, his long tongue darts into the bag and pulls out, and it's covered in, like, flies and worms. So, to be clear, my plan is to leave here with a ridiculous amount of, like, fishing nets and, like, especially, like, butterfly nets and, like, waiters.

And, like, I don't want to actually spend, I don't have that much money. I'm sort of in Pathfinder. I feel like a gold piece is worth a lot of money. It is. And so I'm planning on getting, like, a bunch of stuff we probably. don't need that I'm willing to get upsold on. So I will say this. One thing that I think we kind of

glossed over at the end of the previous session is the townsfolk did actually give you a reward for saving the villagers. That was in addition to what you found. Everybody got 10 gold pieces. Oh, I'm doing great. So in addition to all of your money, you have 10 more gold to spend on stuff. Now, obviously,

you don't have to spend it all here at mudfly supplies. I don't know. But he's like, well, if you're going to deal with bugs, you want my... Bug bombs. Oh, I bet our friends will be really excited about bombs. Now, I did send you off with a list that's trance bog survival guide and creatures that are not in the swamp. It's just a list of everything that lives in a swamp.

Like different bugs. So he's got these bug bombs that he's willing to sell for two gold each that make bugs sick when you throw them. They make a pale blue smoke that makes bugs sick. Really good against bugs. Well, I'll take two of those. Those are two gold apiece. Yeah, I'll take two bug bombs. Also got antidotes if you get poisoned.

Okay, how much do those cost? Three goldies. Oh, this is going to get expensive. I was mostly hoping buying fishing gear and waiters, but... So a lot of the fishing gear and waiters and stuff, if you want to say spend a gold on that, I will say you can come back with just an arm full of fishing nets and waiters and other sort of nonsense. I'm going to buy two antidote.

All right. And I'm going to buy, I'm blowing all my money here. Sure. And I'm going to buy a gold's worth of fishing stuff and waiters. And I'm absolutely walking back in the waiters. So, all right. You've got waiters that come up to, you know, about mid-chest. Over my chain mail.

Uh-huh. Yeah, exactly. It's horrible. Yeah. Your arms are filled with nets. Inside the nets are like little, like fly gauze and stuff, you know, stuff to prevent flies from getting in places and candles and all sorts of stuff. Okay.

And in addition, you got two of these bug bombs and two antidotes. Okay. That caused me a total of nine gold, and I think I'm good. All right. So at the Moss Pig, Mertie. So the Moss Pig is run by a family of dwarves. Mm-hmm. the owner and a proprietor of this place is Berna Cragborn.

She's very stern, but she's been very friendly to you and your fellow adventures as you stay here. As you saddle up to the bar, she comes up and says, What can I get you? Would you like another pint of mossy stout? That's 3 p.m. Why not? Hey, it's 3.30 somewhere. She pulls you off a pint of mossy stout and sets it down on the crooked, slightly warped bar. It says, ah, I hear you're about to go out into the swamp on a barge.

Yeah, that's what they tell me. Ah, would you like some food and drink? I can pack you up a meal or two. No cost, no cost to the heroes of Bog Bottom. Yeah, I appreciate that, ma'am. Do you have anything that could go, you know, in a soup? I've got a fair number of turnips and mushrooms. Oh, that'll be perfect. Thank you.

I take the vegetables and I start cutting them up on the bar and adding them into the bindle. full of soup just there. She's behind the bar kind of cleaning out some glasses using an old dishrag, and she's like, ah, the water seems higher again today. Shaking her head. Oh, is it not usually this level?

It's been higher and higher for weeks now. Hmm. Soon we're all going to be standing in it. I see, that's true where I live to. What do you think's going on? What are people saying? There's lots of stories out about the swamp. I haven't heard many about the water.

Everyone in town, it's seasonal. It's fall. The waters rise and fall, so they say. I don't know. It seems higher than normal. High water is the spring thing, no? Hmm. Around here, it ends up being fall and spring.

Our summers are low. The winters get cold. The waters get still. Yeah, that makes sense. I buy that. What else do people say about the bog, though? You said their stories? What should I be on the lookout for?

Ah, I wouldn't trouble you with them. You're going out in the bog. You don't need to be scared. scared by any of my ghost stories. No, entertain me. It's fall. I'm a hero on a journey. Do you have diplomacy? Sure do.

Give me a diplomacy check. All right, Jason. Well, that was an aid on the die, but plus my five diplomacy modifier is 13. Ah, well, I'll tell you a bit. Just a bit, though. I don't want to scare you. You need to keep your mind focused. you don't need to be thinking about the legend of Tootusk,

the terrifying swamp creature said to dwell in these parts. Massive it is, the size of a barge. Come up out of the deep and pulled you down into the slimy depths. Many have lost their lives to Tootusk, including a knife fighter who came to town about a year ago, bragged he was going to track down the monster and kill it with his magic dagger, but he was never seen again. I would like to act appropriately terrified

based on what I think that this bar wench would like. If I can tell that she wants me to look scared because she's doing a good job telling the story, I'll look scared. But if she doesn't want me to be scared, I will be like, no, I can handle it. She's generally trying to tell a good tale, and you notice that as you're doing it,

she, like, grabs your mug and refills it and puts it back in front of you. I'll ham it up. I'm like, oh. All right. A nasty, nasty beast. As she wraps up her story You notice several other guests come in

And Berna goes off to serve them food and drinks And your time is running short So we'll call it good there at the moss pig Unless there's something else you wanted to get I've got rations, I've got gossip I think we can move on All right The sinking pony

The sign for this small shop is a pony Neck deep in the swamp muck That oddly fills both of you with a strange sort of melancholy Anyway The human shopkeep here is Alavina Etrgan. And their shop carries a variety of useful items. You see things like bullseye lanterns and rope and torches. It's kind of a place that sells kind of generic adventuring gear. Alavina looks at you as you enter and says, is there anything I can

help you with? I put my forearm right on the bar and I say, hello, Alavina. Yes, you can. But ask my friend Trent first. Yeah, I'm just looking for about 6,000 pounds. of ammonium nitrate, the largest carriage you have, and a map to the nearest government building? Spikes fine with this. That sounds like the sort of activity you might want to engage over in Absalom, but out here in Bonk Bottom, we don't have that sort of material.

I do have alchemist fire, though, if you're interested in that. Do you have any other things that I can throw in, like, you know, acid or electrocution? or any other kind of a throwable explosive damage doing things? For self-defense. I do have two acid flasks if you're interested in those as well. Yeah, I'll take some acid. So the acid flas are three gold, the lesser acid flas, and lesser alchemist fire.

Got both those for three gold each. Okay, I'll take two of those. Is Elavina keeping this under the bar, or is it sort of like in the back more secured? Oh, God, are we going to have to run out of town? Oh, yeah. What are you talking about? If you're wondering if this appears that Elvina is selling you contraband, they are not. I mean, there's weapons for sale here, too.

As it turns out, when you live in a world with dragons and skeletons and, you know, terrifying monsters that crawl out of the dark places to eat you. We also live in a world with skeletons, and I've been saying we need a lot more bombs, but anyway. There's a lot of terrifying things in a lot of worlds, and many of them could be solved with bombs. That's so scary everywhere. I look at Elevina direct in the eyes I'm really barreling

Elevina and I say I would love some Alchemist fire I'd be happy to sell you some but also wait and I see that that's not translating so I look between Trant and Elevina and I say are you guys friends of Jerry

what do you mean by that no okay no no big deal I'll just take some Alchemist fire but I want to look at the chemicals at the walls and see if there's stuff I can make drugs out of that you don't see here but you do actually see some minor elixirs of life these are the healing potions that you already have two of they do have some more of those I can make that work well they won't get you high they will get you healthy not the way I take them buddy

I'll take two elixers of life and two wait how much are they the elixers are three gold as well So two alchemists fire and two elixirs of life is exactly the amount of gold I got, right? Yep. I'll take them, please. And then I just wanted to fill up my reagents. I'm not sure how much I used in terms of money, but... So the great thing about being an alchemist is that refilling up your reagent is actually something you did this. You kind of got up, and while just kind of wandering around town, you literally just scavenged the components you need.

because they're really kind of everywhere. What do you have in the way of gunpowder, firearms, ammunition, any of that? Nah, they don't have any of that here at the Sinking Pony for that. You'd probably want to go to a bigger city like Absalom. What else do you guys sell? What do you got that might be useful for heading into the swamp to do abide by the law, the local and federal laws? Do you have anything else you recommend here?

Like bullseye lanterns, pints of oil, rope, torches. How much are these pints of oil? Pints of oil are just a copper a piece. I mean, they're pretty cheap. But mind you, a pint of oil is not nearly as explosive as, say, alchemist fire. It'd be like trying to light cooking oil on fire. Okay. I'm going to get 10 pints of oil.

You clear out. Is there like a big cooking pot? They don't have a cooking pot here. No. No. Okay. Any large ceramic pot? Any kind of container?

Oh, they do have a ceramic jug. Okay. I'm going to get that ceramic jug. Okay. This is going to go great. Is there, like, glue or something? I know where this is going. Sure.

Yeah. Would you like a fuse as well? If you've got fuses, yes. They do have rope. I'll take some of that, too. Okay. Yeah, yeah, great. I'm feeling pretty equipped to that now.

All right. Okay. So we're taking out two tusks. I'm looking around on the shelves and I'm saying like, oh, wow, you got a lot of beautiful chemicals out here. Gorgeous chemicals. Sexy chemicals out here and I raised my eyebrows. But, you know, I'm trying to get a little, you know, these frogs out there. I tell you, they hit me with their wavy gravy.

And I'm just looking for a little something to even me out, catch my drift. Elevina, wink Elevina looks at you like I don't know what you mean Oh, Elevina, come on, I know you're cool And I just say, okay, I'll just take a bit of What do you got there? Everclear? They do have like, you know,

grog basically, you know, watered down rum Give me a growler of grog. Sure. all right so everybody does their shopping you know who else can do shopping wait is it time it is time it's time for ads it's time hooray we get to sandwich the shopping

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and maximize game performance with enhanced overclocking. Win the tech search. Power up at Lenovo.com. Lenovo! On this week's episode of the next chapter, I, DD Jakes, get to sit down with Oprah Winfrey A media mogul philanthropist and global trailblazer. My life, although it may look like an anomaly, it has only been possible because I was obedient to the calls.

This episode dies deep into how Oprah turned pain into purpose and what it really means to evolve with everybody watching. Every decision I have ever made has come from sitting with the spirit, and asking God, what would you have me do first? Whether you're rebuilding, reimagining, or just trying to hold it together, this one will speak directly to you. Listen to the next chapter on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast, episodes drop weekly.

What up, y'all? It's your boy, Kevin on stage. I want to tell you about my new podcast called Not My Best Month. where I talk to artists, athletes, entertainers, creators, friends, people I admire who had massive success about their massive failures. What did they mess up on? What is their heartbreak? And what did they learn from it? I got judged horribly.

The judges were like, you're trash. I don't know how you got on the show. Boo, somebody had tomatoes. I'm kidding. But if they had tomatoes, they would have thrown the tomatoes. Let's be honest. We've all had those moments we'd rather forget. We bumped our head.

We made a mistake. The deal fell through. through. We're embarrassed. We failed. But this podcast is about that and how we made it through. So when they sat me down, they were kind of like, we got into the small talk. And they were just like, so what do you got? What? What ideas? And I was like, oh, no. What? Check out Not My Best Moment with me, Kevin on stage on the Iheart radio app, Apple podcast, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Robert Smith. This is Jacob Goldstein. And we used to host a show called Planet Money. And now we're back making this new podcast.

called business history about the best ideas and people and businesses in history. And some of the worst people, horrible ideas and destructive companies in the history of business. Having a genius idea without a need for it is nothing. It's like not having it at all. It's a very simple, elegant lesson. Make something people want. First episode, how Southwest Airlines use cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline business. The most Texas story ever.

There's a lot of mavericks in that story. We're going to have mavericks on the show. We're going to have plenty of robber barons. So many robber barons. And you know what? They're not all bad. And we'll talk about some of the classic great moments of famous business geniuses, along with some of the darker moments that often get overlooked.

Like Thomas Edison and the electric chair. Listen to business history on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. As a busy morning of preparation ends, Ladrusa approaches with a hopeful look on her face. I've secured a small barge to help you get around the swamp. If you leave now, you should be able to gather all three ingredients

and be back by nightfall. I've drawn up a map that shows you where you might find the necessary ingredients. Hopefully, the swamp doesn't give you too much trouble. With that, she hands you a rolled-up map and walks you to the dock where the barge awaits. So at this point in time, unlike our previous adventure where you kind of had to, you know, kind of experience things in the order that they came. In this one, you do have three locations that you've been asked to visit. You've been told to go find some lanternberries, which are kind of circled on one part of this map.

You've got this kind of map of the swamp, which has bog bottom month kind of on the bottom, and then out in the swamp itself, you've got three locations circled. So the lanternberries are on there. There's also another location where the waning mushrooms are located. that one's not too far away and then there is one final location which is circled and it says tomb flowers and

it appears that it's drawn around what looks like it might have at one point in time been a cemetery so as you hop on the raft and begin making your way out into the Dunmire swamp where do you want to go to first mushrooms is closest right

it did look a little closer than the others I mean they're all relatively equidistant away but you can go to mushrooms first. Seems like a fine enough place to start. All right. As we get on to the barge, I drop a ridiculous number of nets and waiters and all the things that anyone could need.

And I point to my own waiters and say, you probably want these. And then I pick up the pole and I start pulling our way. It's a pole barge, I assume. Yeah, it is. Yeah, you're going to have to pull your way through the swamp. What's with all this desert gear that you brought here? Trent, I'm beginning to think.

I don't think that you might be incapable of determining one biome from another? Well, I do have swamp blindness. Ah. A common ailment. Transbin consuming too many of their own reagents. They do say that deserts are the swamps of the sand. Spite has made her haters, her waiters. You know?

And the swamp of success. And I laugh and I lay down on the raft. I was just going to make a comment about the Nets and say, you know, boss, you look like a real Net in Yahoo. All right. You proud of that one? I'm really not.

Editor, turn that up. Can you make that one funny? All right, I start pulling our way to Mushroom Town. All right. Yeah, I'm going to put on my waiters and explain about the two-fanged monster. That's why I'm putting on my waiters. There's two-fanged monster.

So you all hear the tale of Teutusk as you've been pulling your way into the swamp. Now, unlike, you know, most images of a swamp as being kind of gray and dower, the Dunmire is actually rather colorful. The greens are very vibrant. This is a very active living swamp. There's lots of colorful mushrooms

and fungus growing on things. There are iridescent insects buzzing around and making the whole place almost feel rather vibrant and alive. Pulling between the locations is slow-going work, to say the least. It does take you a few hours to make your way to the first spot. But before you get there, let's see if you can navigate these swamps carefully and simply, do any of you have survival?

I think I do, actually. Yes. I have a seven. Seven is very good. That's probably the best in the group, I would guess. I have a two, so I'm not the best in the group. Yeah. So, Mertie, you're probably the best one to be reading the map and guiding the raft along.

So Mertie, why don't you give me a survival skill check? All right. Oh, that was a 10, so 17 after my bonus. No problem. You make it there in pretty good time. That is a success. And after about two hours of pulling through the swamp, you make your way. I do take breaks to catch.

I have butterfly nets. I do catch several of these iridescent bugs and put them in jars. Just a lot of dragonflies, some larger just kind of beetles. Putting dragonflies in prison. As soon as Squash says that they're in prison, I let all of them go, and I look shamefully at my feet. It's like, oh, geez, I'm sorry, guy. I know you were just doing nature checks and stuff,

and I'd, like, reach up as far as I can go to, like, rub your shoulders. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Trant is just eyeing the jar you were using as the prison, and then looking back to his explosives and then looking back to the jar. All right. And then we make it. And we're there. So you do make it to where you're going.

I'm getting everything set up here. You all should be able to see everything. It'll be kind of drawn towards the bottom of the page. Wow, it's so eardescent. It's just like the stage design in that play that I saw called Annihilation. The barge coasts up to a small island. The huge trunk of a rotten tree looms ahead. The wooden behemoth lost its crown and most of its branches long ago.

likely from a lightning strike. Now it leans precariously to one side, covered in mushrooms, with a distinctive black cap and white rim, making them look like waning moons. These match the description Lundraza gave you for one of the ingredients that she needs. I'd love to harvest those mushyes.

I stand guard with Morningstar out and shield, and I say, I don't know if I trust this swamp. Squash does the keep-on truck and walk and just walks directly up. to the mushrooms and starts chopping them all down. So as you make your way up to the tree, axe and toe, some of the mushrooms begin to move. In fact, some of the mushrooms aren't attached to the tree at all. As a matter of fact, they seem to be an entire body made up of fungus.

This creature steps forward, its body made entirely of fungus and mushroom material. and it has this kind of broad head that is a large mushroom cap. Directly underneath the rim are kind of bulbous eyes that appear to be made out of fungus material surrounded by fronds of fungus material that kind of writhe and shake as the thing before you begins to speak. I am leather cap. Who are you and what do you want with my chin? They say in a low and ponderous voice. Boss, I think that's some sort of dire elephant.

Trent, we really got to get you out of bog bottom soon. This swap gas is not doing good for you. Who did we decide as doing our face? Pre-game, we had a big talk about me being the face, and the way I'm playing, I don't know. I don't know, gang. I think I got the highest charisma, but me, I don't know about it.

But here we go. Leather cap. Damn, this is beautiful. You've really made this house of home. What we want is, I don't know, we're looking for a couple of ingredients here. And if it's your kin, then I'm not fucking with that. You know what I mean? And I, like, reach out for a handshake, and I see that maybe he doesn't have any hands.

And I, like, put my hands down and just give, like, a big wink. I will say that it does not appear that they have a gender at all. They're made of mushroom. My man. They look at you with kind of a quizzical look. These are Markin, my children. Why do you need them? Is this, wait, is this what we were looking for?

And I look over at you guys with bleary eyes that you realize now I have done something to myself. I step forward a little bit and I go, yes, we were sent to get three pale waning mushrooms as part of what's needed to poor Halperin and Panera were taken captive and they were fed poisonous mushrooms very much unlike you and your kin

and we're just trying to reverse the ill effects of those mushrooms we don't eat elephant either yeah we don't eat elephant and so we've been sent to get waning mushrooms and lanternberries and tomb flowers and I didn't know that the waning mushrooms where you're kin, but the cycle of life is a very strange thing, don't you think?

Thin skins often get sick from our gifts. Who are you to assume that I am not poisonous? I am proud of my poison. It makes thin skins very ill. Oh, that makes sense. Can I roll a nature check to see if this is the mushroom we're looking for, or if we maybe got to whack this guy? Go ahead and give me a nature check.

Okay, whew, that was a five on the die, but I do have a plus seven nature, so that's 12. Mertie, you look at this creature, and although you don't know the specifics, you do know that this creature is what's known as a leshy. Leshi are sentient plants, basically. They come in a wide variety of shape and form. This one appears to be a fungus leshy. They're known to be rather dour, sometimes intransigent. but they're not overtly hostile. Okay, but the other mushrooms like on the log are not also leshy?

These are what you need, yeah. Pretty sure of that. They match the description. Okay, mushroom bodies are complicated. Mushroom consciousness is complicated. If I take some of the mushrooms, will he feel pain? Will he feel like part of his... I'm sorry, this Lushy doesn't have a gender.

Will this Lushy feel pain or feel like part of their consciousness? is being taken, or is the consciousness of the leshy bound solely to the mushroom? The leshy creatures are sentient and separate from perhaps non-sensient versions, but they would consider them kin, right? They're definitely related. Okay. So it's more of like a solidarity thing than a cosmic. If leather cap is to be believed, that is very much the case, yeah. So I'm just going to like ask, I'll be like, so if we need three of these strong, beautiful poisonous mushrooms in order to help our thin-skinned friends. Is that possible?

Is that something that you would be okay with? Perhaps if there's something you could offer me in return, perhaps something in which they could grow more? Oh, corpses. Oh, we do make a lot of corpses in our line of work. We make a lot of corpses. And, like, I mean, decay exists as an extant form of life. Am I right?

And I, like, turn to leather cap. You cannot kill me in any way that matters. Fuck, Jason, damn you! Damn you! I turned to spite and I say, can you not feel your heart burning? I turned to Trant. Can you not feel the struggle within? Show me the face of God, you fungal piece of shit.

The fear within me is beyond anything yourself can make. Would you take, like, some corpses? Because I know, like... Or we could break. the spores and put them into the next corpses we make. Now you're talking my language. Common. Hmm.

You would spread my kin. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Give me a diplomacy check. Somebody. I've got a plus four. I roll a seven, so that's an lemon. Maybe I'm going to hero point this. I didn't use my hero point last time. I'm just going to hero point this.

I want to not kill this thing. Dig deep within to come up with dug deep within and did worse. What happens when you do worse with the hero point? How you take the better of the two? Great. Then I have an 11. 11. Goodbye hero point. All right. Well, I'm going to give you a bonus on that. You were wasted.

I rolled a diplomacy check and got a total of 16. And we were both talking, but I don't know. Leather cap looks at you and he says, I will give you what you seek, but only if you tell the people of Bog Bottom not to harvest here

without my consent. Oh, that seems fair. Yeah, we're really into consent. That seems reasonable. Sure. I mean, we can tell them anything. That is a lot of sense. Should we put up a sign? You want me to write a zine about it?

Yeah, people always read those. I can set out some landmines now. You've got to be real careful because they will go off for just about any reason. No, no, thank you. Wait, spore mines. Hold on, and I, like, go off up by myself and think for a while. with leather caps help you harvest the three mushrooms you need

and make your way back to the barge we get a little bit more to use to spread them the spore into the next corpses leather cap asks you for a piece of cloth okay great that they then soak in the swamp water and take over to some of the mushrooms and he gently almost delicately with almost a lover's touch

harvest some spores and deposits them into the cloth That's a very specific image that works very strong image. Yeah, I cut my shorts even shorter, and I hand them over to leather cap for that. I'm working with the medium I have here. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's all about the imagery. Yeah, you're doing great. Yeah.

Mushrooms are the sexiest of the monsters you can find here. Yeah, boy, for those of you listening, just do a Google search for a fungus lushy, and when you see the picture of what I'm talking about, you'll know how this all works out. Okay. Yeah, your tongue will roll up. across the table, like a Looney Tune. Yeah, yeah. All right.

So, you have harvested the first ingredient and can now make your way to the next. The question is, where do you want to go next? You have your choice between the berry patch to get the lantern berries, or you can attempt to go get the tombflowers. I feel like that one seems like it's the hardest is the tombflowers. So maybe we should go to the lanternberries? You can go get the lanternberries first. I bet it's easy

I bet it's fun I bet we'll have a good time and we'll all grow closer as friends So you hop back on the raft And begin pulling your way through the swam As you make your way through Can I get you all to give me A perception check

Hell yeah you can Oh shit 17 That's a that 20 baby Nice Yeah that's the 20 I have 27 16 plus 5 is a 21.

We get all of our good rolls here. 22 total. I got an 18 total. I thought I was doing good. We all did great. You all did pretty well, actually. And after the story that Murdy told you, upon leaving town, you've all been kind of on edge looking at the swamp,

not just for its natural beauty, which it certainly has plenty up, but also for this supposed threat. And while up until now, you haven't really seen anything to give you any sense of pause, as you make your way away from the mushroom stump and begin making your way towards the location of the buried path. You all can't help but feel like you're being watched. It's just that sense, that feeling on the back of your neck,

all of the hair is suddenly standing on end, that something is observing you. And out of all of you, Mertie, you can't help but remember the words from the dwarf at the moss pig. Berna talking about two tussing. Said that it was a massive thing. Dwells in the water. Big as a barge.

But it's a hippopotamus. You've been looking, and you can't help but notice that there is a weight in the water that seems to appear some distance off to your right now and again. Guys, it's like somebody's stirring the bog. Well, should we go towards it or away from it?

I feel like towards. Okay. I turn the barge towards it. About any second thought. You begin pulling in that direction, but as soon as Mertie spotted it, it disappears, whatever it is, doesn't seem... Maybe it's not there. Maybe it's just a fiction of Mertie's imagination. Maybe Mertie was scared by the legend, but you don't seem to see anything.

I'm not scared of anything, but I might still be drunk. Did have a couple of the stouts before you left. Emphasis on a couple. Oh, my man. Mertie, I don't think there's anything over here. So can I get another survival check as you make your way from one location to the other? And I believe this is Mertie reading the map. That was an 18 on the die.

Ah. Well, seven is 25. You know, of the group, you are incredibly skilled at reading a map and making sure that the barge is going in the right direction. You navigate to the next location in expert time. It doesn't even take you two hours. You're able to make it there in one. You don't even have to go through any cutbacks or rerout. You make it straight to the next location.

Stu Scouts say what? What? Hey, yeah, this one can't see. Even from a distance, the golden berries faintly glow among the brambles at the top of the hill. These must be the lantern berries that La Drusa needs to cure the villagers. So as you approach, this is kind of a hill, and atop it, there are kind of these glowing berries.

on a trio of large berry bushes. It does look like some of the other bushes are also lanternberry bushes, but it looks like animals from the swamp have eaten them all away, so the only intact berries are up at the top. So these bushes do look very thorny. So you can make your way up to the top

safely as long as you go slowly. No checks required. You just have to kind of be careful about it. Whose waiters look dumb now? That's right. So as long as you're willing to take, say, five minutes to walk up to the top, and you're not really under a huge time pressure, you can make it up to the top without any danger.

I'm walking in front with shield raised and morning starrette. I'll get directly behind her and have a grenade in each hand. Okay. So if you all take a look up the map, you've made it to the top of the hill. There are these kind of bushes that are just in front of you, as you've made your way up through the kind of thorny bramble. Berry bushes. Doesn't appear that there's anybody up here.

This is kind of higher up in the swamp, and you're kind of up in the, almost up into the fog that kind of hangs above the swamp at all times. During the day, occasionally a bright shaft of sunlight will burn away some of the fog. But up here, it's kind of actually a little gloomy. You're a little overcast, allowing these berries to really kind of glow in the misty gloom. And as you are approaching this, Everybody give me a perception check.

That was another Nat, 20, 27. That's a 14, so 19 total for me. I promise I'm not lying about these dice. I'm just using my lucky pink dye. It's all 20 on all sides. It's lucky. Yeah.

I got a total of a 6 because I keep rolling my unlucky die. I'm going to switch dice. Nice. I got a natural one. I walk back into the river. So, spite and squash, the two of you kind of make your way up into the clearing. I'm going to move you forward just a little bit.

You don't see anything. You're making way up to these bushes. I don't see anything. What a verdant land. Trant, Mertie, two of you pick up some buzzing. There's some weird kind of buzzing coming from the mist up above. And as you get closer, the source of the buzzing becomes obvious. as a pair of giant swamp flies

come swooping down out of the mist. And at this point in time, I'm going to need everybody to roll perception for initiative. Now, Trant, Mertie, I will allow both of you to, like, draw a weapon or something real quick because you heard something going on. So if you want to have a bomb in hand or a weapon in hand, you can certainly do that.

Absolutely. I got a bomb in each hand. I'm sad. I fully intended to give Trant the bug bombs, and I did not. So you still have them. That's fine. Don't worry. I've got a bug bomb. Yeah, I've got my soup ladle out and my pot lid shield. I'm spinning in a circle, being like, what's going on? All right, so go ahead and roll initiative, everybody, and hold on to the number.

I'll come around and get it from you. All right, we'll start here. Spite, what do you got? total of a 16. Sounds good. And I'm switching out from a yellow dye to a blue dye. I'm sure it'll fix everything. That is fair.

Blue dye is more lucky. Use a red dye if you want to go fast. Squash! What's your initiative? I rolled a 17 for a total of 22. 22, very good. Murdi, what do you got? Well, I used up all my good rolls.

I rolled a 5 on the die plus 7 is 12. There we go. Trans, what do you have? That's a 19 total. Was I rolled 14? Yeah. All right. And let me go ahead and grab my flies.

Okay. So these flies come swooping down out of the mist above you. And by big, I mean, I think it's important to understand. These things are like fully three and a half, four feet long. That's how big their bodies are. Their wingspans are more like five feet. So these are very, very large swamp flies. There is a pair of them and they look,

They look very angry that you have disturbed their favorite berry bushes. Top of the order, squash, somehow, you didn't see the flies at all, but now that there's one that's probably only about 10 feet above you, both of the flies that you can see right now, they're about 10 feet off the ground. So they're not down at your level just yet. Squash, you get to go first. Well, it's a good thing that I've got a gun. I pull out my big machete gun.

And I say, throw your hand, you son of a bitch, and I shoot them. All right. You draw your gun in fire? Yep. And I rolled a total of 18. The sound of thunder echoes through the hills as your gun unleashes its bullet. That flies up through the air and clips one of the flies in the wing. Go ahead and roll damage.

I rolled two damage on this nasty fly. All right. The bullet grazes its wing, clipping it, putting a hole in its iridescent wing, but it doesn't look like that affected it too badly. Squash, you do still have one action left if you would like to reload your gun. Might as well.

All right. Trant, you saw these flies coming. You were able to draw some bombs. It is your turn. Well, I think I'm going to, I mean, this does seem like the kind of situation that calls for a grenade. Do I think I can airburst this

in such a way that it'll hit more than one? So the two flies look like they're a bit too far apart for that. If they were closer together, maybe you can try and pull something like that off, but they're over 20 feet apart. So the best you can do is target one. Okay. I'm going to go to the one that's just to the right of squash,

and I'm going to hurl an alchemist's rost at it. Yeah, so these flies have kind of come swooping in around the berries on either side. They're still about 10 feet off off the ground, and you throw a frost vial at that one. Yes. So, all right. To hit. That's a 19 naturally, plus, I think a five is what I add to that.

24. A 24 is a clean and solid hit. The frost vial slams into the fly. You deal full damage. Go ahead and give me the damage. And what's the splash effect on that? It's just one more cold. That's a great question.

Yeah, it's definitely cold damage because it's a frost bomb. So it's going to do 1D6 cold plus one cold splash, and it takes a minus 5 foot penalty to its speed until the end of it's next. That's what I was looking to do. Okay. Is that going to slow down its wing so much it falls from the air? No, but it'll slow it down moving very fast, which is useful. And I rolled six, so max damage. So we're at seven total.

So the Frost file slams into the fly dealing a total of seven points of damage. It looks very badly hurt from that. It is still flying, but the frost is now clinging to its wings, and you can see that they're not. It's having to beat much harder to kind of keep it up in the air. It looks like the fly is slowed down by this attack. That was only your first action. You do still have a bomb in the other hand. What do you want to do? I'm going to say, oh, sorry, are you cold? Let me warm you up a little bit. And then I'm going to throw an alchemist fire at him. All right. That's a three. I don't know where it's going, but it's not going on target.

Do you have a hero point? Yeah. That's a good idea. Damn, I was so close to getting away with it. That's a fine. That is no better. The curse of hero points. I spend a hero point. I get a worse roll. Oh, all right.

Yeah, I roll in that one after my last hero point. I can't tell you how often that happens. So you fling the alchemist fire. It goes wide and lands in the bushes behind it. Fortunately, everything here is so wet that it doesn't start the whole place of blaze. But the fly is unharmed. All right. That was Tran's turn.

Unfortunately, the flies get to go now. The first fly is going to come swooping down at spite. It's going to come flying down out of the mist, spite, and it comes straight up to you and attempts to bite you with its mandibles. Okay. I'm not afraid of no fly. I had my shield drawn.

Nor should you be, as I have rolled a three to hit, which is not going to be sufficient. Ah, that is lower than my armor class. Even plus my bonus in 11 is not going to do it. So it is going to attempt to spend its third. action to bite you one last time. That is an armor class of 16. Nowhere near my armor class

of 19. The fly was hopeful, but it failed. That is the end of the first fly's turn. Poor rolling for my poor flies. Next up, the other fly comes swooping down to squash. What? It's going

to attempt to bite you with its mandibles. Does an armor class of 16 hit you, Squash? Absolutely. No, it doesn't. Fat chance, you fucking fly. No, it's an armor class of 18 that you gotta miss, baby. The fly attempts to bite you,

but you are just too nimble dancing away from its mandibles. It will take its final action to attempt to bite you again. And I rolled a Nat 20 for a critical hint. No, my chain mail crop top didn't protect me. Who could have seen it coming? I rolled maximum damp. Oh, my God. Yeah, okay.

Take 18 as the fly swoops down and bites you in the neck. So long, folks. His neck, he's not supposed to get teeth in that. No, I'm supposed to protect that. So this fly comes down and bites you like square in the neck. Oh, my God. And just like rips out a part of your throat. Blood spatters everywhere as the fly lands on your body to feast.

are you at zero yeah I have exactly 18 hit points alright so here's what happens squash you will move

in initiative to right before the flies so you now go right before them you are unconscious and prone and you gain the dying condition

now the way this works is if it gets back to your turn and no one has helped you we will roll a check to see if you're dying condition gets worse or better. If it gets better and drops to zero, you become kind of stable and just unconscious. But if you roll poorly, it will get worse.

And it gets worse and worse and worse until it gets to dying four, at which point you die. Now, I know I just said you were at dying one, but I forgot this was a critical hit, which knocks you immediately to dying two. Of course it does. So you were at dying two, which means on your next turn, if you were, you know, If you roll a one on your save, you would fall two more spots and die. So hopefully someone will get to you before that. Won't be good for the podcast.

We'll see how good my friends are. Yeah, we'll see how much your friends are actually your friends. Don't worry, I got something I can throw that'll help you. Trent, save me. I like a gordon nerdy. The main healer and the backup healer. He only has one way to heal you and it's with fire. I kind of have a bomb of healing, yes.

That is the end of the swamp fly's turn. Spite. We are over to you. All right. Knowing that my dear friend Murdy has the situation of squash well in hand, I decide in Squash's name to squash this fly. Very good. Because my morning star is already drawn.

I really want to throw a bug bomb at it. I have bug bombs. But this thing is right in front of me. I'm already holding a pointy stick. There's no thing I could possibly. Remember, you get three actions. And your third one's at such a penalty, you might as well throw a bomb. Yeah.

So I am going to use a focus point to do a weapon surge and call down the mighty Malani to infuse my spiked bat, the wholly spiked bat, and do additional damage. And so I will take a swing, roll a Nat 20. I'm very glad I switched dice. for a total of 28. So a lot of things happen here simultaneously because if you recall, transglued alchemist fire to the end of your morning star.

I'm going to do more damage than I'm going to do for the next five levels of my character, including to me. And there's no way I'm giving you critical damage on the alchemist fire, but I will give you full damage on it. Okay. So go ahead and roll damage.

damage for the weapon. We're going to double that. Yep. Then we're going to roll a D6 for the alchemist fire plus the splash. Which I will take. It's just going to be a lot. Yeah. So because I did my weapon search, I get an extra D6 to the damage.

And so that is a I rolled a five and a two plus four is 11 damage. So 22 damage with the morning star. And then the fire, I rolled a five. So 26. seven damage to the fly.

So you slam the morning star into this fly, and it hits it square in the middle of its two giant, you know, they've got those hundred lens eyes. And these things are big. They're like the size of beach balls. And you slam the morning star right in the middle of that. The alchemist fire shatters and burns its wings to a crisp. This fly kind of explodes in a ball of cooking icker as fire and bug juice spatters you from head to toe. You do take one point of fire.

Oh, that's fine. I turn to Trant and give a big thumbs up. You are spattered, just from top to bottom. Boss, next time I'll put two on there. Great. I still have one action left. Drawing a bomb or a javelin is an action. Correct.

So you could get something out, but you couldn't use it. I'm raising my shield. Okay, you're going to raise your shield. Yeah. All right. So I'm going to go ahead and remove that particular fly from the map since it is super dead. Yeah, you are just splattered in

bug juice from top to bottom. I haven't played a DPS character in a very long time. It is very satisfying. That was impressive. All right, that was Spite's turn. Mertie. I would like to heal Squash, which will automatically take care of those dying

conditions. I'm going to spend two actions to do this, meaning the spell has a range of 30 feet. And I'm targeting Squash and going to roll D.8. Do you want me to roll D8 or Squash, do you want to rule your own healing? Oh, please, I trust you more. Okay.

That heals for five, so you're back to five at points. I love it. So it's plus eight. So that is a total of 13. You're still prone. You'll wait your turn and be laying on the ground with the fly sitting on top of you, lapping up your blood. No, my blood!

And then my last action, I'm going to mutter some shit to myself. that no one else can hear and cast guidance on myself. And I'll probably say this wasn't supposed to be this way. I'm supposed to just be doing soup. So, Trantz, you now get to go again. Squash now goes after you, not before you, because Squash fell off the functions. All right. Squash, try to stay real flat.

And then I'm going to whip out my shotgun and just blast. All right. Ooh, that's not great. That's going to be a total of 13. Total of 13. What was your roll? Because those weapons do misfire. An 8.

Oh, that's fine. Okay. So you roll a 13, which is going to miss. Let's see, drawing it and firing it. You do still have one action. I guess I'll draw one of my pistols. Okay. So Squash, we're back to you now.

The fly is directly above you. Like I said, it's been lapping up your blood. You can stand up if you want. I could have stopped you from getting killed. My reaction would have made you take less damage. That realization just hit me. So you're absolutely right, but remember, you hadn't gone yet, so you can't take reactions until you've gone.

That's right. Okay, yeah, no, I totally would have done it. I totally was on top of it. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Sorry, please continue. Hey, everybody listening at home. That's why Spike didn't save their friend.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Because they couldn't take a reaction yet. That's right. It's not because they're a terrible friend, to me, Squash. Squash, it's your turn. Uh, for my first turn, I do a Jean-Claude Van Dam jump up from a prone position, and I say, The Fabulous Funky Funny, Mr. Squash, and then I stab the fly with my cool new rapier. So when you did get bit last turn, by the way, because you fell unconscious, I didn't bother with the fortitude save you also needed to make from the Swamp Fly Fight.

Ah, crumbs! If you could just make that for me real quick, I just kind of want to see what's going on with you. I roll the 14. What do I add? It's a fortitude. Two, save. 18 total. So, yeah, that didn't do anything. So you stand up, then what were you going to do?

I skewer this nasty bug. All right, go ahead and make me on my car. A cool new rapier. All right, I rule the seven plus eight, which is a total of enough to kill the fly, I hope. 16. The fly is going to take a reaction called, avoid the swat.

and it is going to get a bonus to its AC, which causes your attack to miss, and then it's going to move away. That's classic fly stuff. I hate these nesting. Yeah, this is exactly how real flies work. They got flies dead to rights in Pathfinder, I tell you. I happen to know my flies, so.

I had this same problem with a fly in a shotgun the other day. What a game. So you have one action left, but the fly is no longer within reach. You've stood up and you've attacked. Mm-hmm. And I got one more, and that... You know what? I just came back from the dead.

I am going to... I'm going to shoot it. I reloaded my gun. I'm going to shoot this bastard. All right. This will be at a penalty. It's your second attack, so it's going to be at a minus five. From whatever your normal bonus is, which I think is like a seven.

Well, I roll the five. Okay. So you crack off a shot, but it goes wide, landing in the bushes. Now, this one. one fly gets to go next. And flies are not exactly known for their tactical acumen. So it's going to fly up to spike. Oh, no, don't

fly at the full hit point person with her shield raised. Yeah, well, like I said, it's a fly. It's not a skilled soldier. It's attacking whatever's nearby, which happens to beat you. Great. And it's going to fly up an attempt to bite you with mandibles. Here we go. Well,

Oh, that's really good. I'll say this. By dice are on fire. That's a critical hit. So is a 20 always a critical on Pathfinder? So the way it works is that a 20 is always one step better in the result. So in this case, the total die roll is a 28. Now, if a 28 was a miss on you because your armor class was really high, rolling a 20 would take it from a miss to a hit.

In this case, it's probably a hit, which is going to take it to a critical. It is. It's not 10 over, but I see that, yeah, it was rolling the 20. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So that is going to hit. you for 14 damage.

Now you do have your shield raised and you do have a reaction. However, if I do that, it'll destroy my shield. It will definitely damage it quite badly, yes.

My shield is 20 hit points, but it becomes damaged at 10. So it becomes unusable at 10. Yeah, you can't use it to raise your shield, but you could fix it like on the next boat journey

between here and the next thing you could work to fix it. I'm just going to take the 14 damage. Okay. You take 14 damage. Okay. You do also have the champion reaction. Can you use that on yourself?

No, I don't think so. What is it, liberating step? I believe it's an ally within my aura, 15 feet is the... At least that's what I wrote down. All right, so you take 14 damage. Okay. The Swanfly has one action left. It's going to attempt to bite you again.

Can I roll another natural 20? I cannot. That's not going to hit. This fly, however, has a taste for blood. It keeps going for necks. I hate to ask this, but do I have... to roll the fortitude save. Ah, yes.

Look at you. Being honest. I'm going to grant you a hero point for being honest, for taking the damage and being honest. But however you do stuff to give me that fortitude save.

I passed it. I think I got a 21 after 13 plus 8. Oh, that's definitely going to make it. All right. Spike, it is up to you. All right. I am going to, you know, I was going to do

a created diversion and then try and hit it. Well, I still haven't done that yet. So that's what I want to do. Okay. So I'm going to use this action called Create a Diversion, which is a deception check versus its perception, to give it a minus 2 AC. This is probably not the most O-P thing I could do,

but I'm just kind of curious. Sure. And so I'm making a deception check at it. So how are you attempting to deceive the fly? I'm kind of curious. Much like with a regular fly, I'm going to hit above it. Instead of hitting it,

I'm going to get it to fly into my morning star. That's my plan. Because that's how I kill flies in real life. Okay. I wasted my Nat 20. This is die rules. I really am glad I switched dice.

I got a 24 on my deception versus its perception. You did roll a natural 20. I don't think that there's a critical success on that, but it is still good. Okay. And then I am going to try to hit it with my morning storm.

All right. So basically, You kind of distract the bug, which kind of looks in the other way and is flying around erratically and kind of showing you its whole bug ass. Cool. So you're able to hit it more easily. And I also have this feat that makes me stay hidden after I use created diversion. It's a feat because my background is insurgent. And it's a feat called lengthy diversion.

The created diversion lasts past the end of the round. So I think the idea is that it's like, still confused by me? That would work until you attack it. So that would be really good if you were trying to distract it and get away. But if you're just going to hit it, it's going to know where you are. Okay. I rolled an 11 plus 8, so a 19 to hit, and it has a minus 2 to its AC, I believe.

So the fun part about this is that my cool ability to avoid being swatted does require me to use it on an attacker I can see, and I can't see you right now. I can't use it. So that is actually not a bad tactical move at all. You are keeping me from flying away from you. So that is going to hit. Go ahead and deal damage. Okay.

I rolled a two on damage. So six damage. Six damage. This fly looks very badly hurt. One of its wings is definitely broke and not flying the right way. It's leaking kind of a pale yellow icker out of its cracked abdomen. Crapped thorax, I guess. it's a fly.

You got Thor? Yeah, okay, okay. Go with that. I'm going to try and hit it again. I am not smart enough to know that this means it's going to get to fly away for me. Yeah, but it won't get to do so until after you attack, so. Okay, great, because I rolled a, let's see, it's at a minus five, so that's only a 22. Well, it doesn't matter that I use my ability.

You're still going to hit, so go ahead and roll damage. Oh, good. Seven damage. So it begins to try and fly away, but your diversion has completely confounded it, and it is, and it is killed. You splatter it across the field. Spite is a fly killer. Let it be known.

Legends throughout the land, the flies are dead. I look kind of in amazement at the spiked stick, my morning star. And I'm like, I look at the ruin that's etched in it now. And I'm like, cool. So I'm really badly wounded.

I was pretending like it was all fine. Yeah, that really hurts. It ripped out a good chunk of my neck. I'm looking down at the stick and you can see blood coming out of my neck with each beat of my heart. I come over and I put my hand on their shoulder

and I give you a bowl of soup. I will heal you up. Does the soup actually heal? Yes. That's the bit about the cult. We accidentally made a soup that heals and we keep it going in perpetual stew size. How many hit points is that heel?

A hundred. A hundred, yeah. I'm beginning to think the cult just thinks they have a perpetual healing soup. Are we talked about this? The soup heels. It's mechanically the heel spell. Oh. The fiction around it is that it's the soup.

So you're eating the soup and you get the benefits of a heel. That makes perfect sense. Okay. And it uses one of your heels. Right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

That's perfectly fair. Out of combat, how does this work? So out of combat, it works the same way it works in combat. You can cast it in any one of the three ways. Obviously, out of combat, I suggest you use either the two or the three action version, because those are the best. The one action version is only for emergencies. Right, yeah, the two action one gets me an extra eight hit points,

so I'm going to do the two action version. It's best when you're only really healing one person. There are two of us who are badly wounded right now. Oh, who else is badly wounded? But spite you're much more badly wounded than squashes right now. Squash has got a few scratches. All right. I'm only down five now.

Okay. That's not nothing, but you're down 14. Yeah. Yeah. I can heal for 13 for one person or five for multiple. Okay, I'll take the 13. Jason, while they're doing this and healing, I'm going to muck around in the fly corpses and find the hardest pieces of the flies.

Okay. Like whatever, the hardest sharpest bits of the flies. flies, and I'm going to kind of chop them up into bits, and I'm going to use that to reload my shotgun. Oh, okay, sure. Nice. Yeah, I mean, the fly, like, you know, kite tin,

especially around their mandibles and whatnot, is very dense, very hard. Oh, I saw what it did to some throats. I'm looking to do that to some throats of my own. Yeah, you fill your shotgun full of bloody fly pieces. I look to squash, and I'm like, squash, we made corpses.

We should use your shorts. Yeah, I start ripping up pieces of my fungist up shorts, and I place them deep within the caverns of these open flies. All right. In addition, you're able to gather up the berries you need without too much trouble. Oh, yeah, we had a mission. The bushes are thorny, but outside of combat, you can just kind of take your time. In addition to this, you notice that there is kind of buried underneath one of the berry bushes. You spot a skeleton.

Looks like some poor traveler may have died up here, perhaps to the flies. And it is clutching a scimitar that looks in good shape. Wow, that's so scary. Does it have a very similar run as the rapier in my morning storm? Could I use a knowledge arcana on it? Yeah, you can figure it out. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, okay.

Let me try. Nine. I mean, you can't be certain, but there's a decent chance it's a magical weapon. It seems in way too good of shape to not be magical, because if it were just sitting out here in the elements, it would have kind of robbed away. Yeah, boss, my guess is that this is special like the other stuff we found. So we could probably, I mean, if nobody wants a scimitar,

we could find something else to do with it, like we did with the other thing. Okay, I put it in my pack. All right. So you make your way down from the hill and back to your raft. You now have two of the three ingredients that you need, and you begin pulling off into the swamp to find, this soggy cemetery located in the distant corner of the swamp

and as you begin to pull through the murky depths begins to get later on in the day the sun begins to dip low the shadows are growing long your time is running short and somewhere out in the swamp

something is watching you but that's all we have time for here today everybody so that's going to be the end of this episode episode. I want to thank you all for playing once again. It's so good. Thank you. I only want to thank some of you, but it's a secret. I sure do appreciate it. And I want to thank everyone for listening to Dawn of the Frogs.

And if you come back next week, you'll get to watch, I believe it's called a TPK. And if you don't know what that is, you can Google it. And that's not a dirty thing. It's just a terrible thing. T.P.K. Okay, Margaret, you said this wasn't dirty. Oh, no, you spelled it ghosty. Bye, everyone. It could happen here as a production of Cool Zone Media.

For more podcasts from Cool Zone Media, visit our website, coolzonemedia.com, or check us out on the IHeard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find sources for It Could Happen here updated monthly at coolzonemedia.com slash sources. Thanks for listening. your squad relies on you. Don't let them down. Unlock elite gaming tech at Lenovo.com.

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