It Could Happen Here - CZM Book Club: Pathfinder: Dawn of the Frogs, Part Two

Episode Date: November 9, 2025

Can our heroes best the mighty beasts who await them in the swamps? Who will Trant throw a bomb at?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. On an all-new episode of I-Hart Radio's Las Culturistas, Jennifer Lawrence is dishing. Jennifer Lawrence. Let's go! From her hilariously awkward run-ins with A-Lister's. I don't know what I was expecting, but he was just like, nice to meet you.

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Each week, I'm calling up my friends, like Bill Nye, Lily Singh, and Pete Buttigieg, to talk about everything from the space race to movie remakes to psychedelics. Put another way, are you high? Look, the world can seem pretty scary right now. But my goal here is for you to listen and feel a little better about the future. Listen and subscribe to Here We Go Again with Cal Penn on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The murder of an 18-year-old girl in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved for years until a local housewife, a journalist, and a handful of girls came forward. word with a story.

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Donna Frogs Don't Frogs Donna Frogs Don't Frogs God Frogs

Hello and welcome to Cool Zone Media Don of Frogs The only Dawn of Frogs that you don't have to do

the reading because we play it for you. I am your host Margaret Kiljoy and if you didn't figure it out even though this is

in your Cool Zone Media a book club feed or your it could happen here feed or your cool people did cool stuff feed or what other other feed you find it in this is don of frogs what is don of frogs it's us playing pathfinder who is us well i'll tell you in a second but first one of the us is jason who is running the game hey jason hey there everybody i'm jason bullman i'm the director of games at piso and when we last left our intrepid band of adventurers i don't feel like like I could totally define intrepid.

I feel like if I, like, had to, I could probably come up with something. I'm kind of trepid, to be honest, guys. Oh, I'm intrepid from toe to tip, baby. Oh, I thought it meant, like, clever and good at solving things. I don't know. Anyway, I do feel intrepid as an adventurer. I feel confident about that. Our band of four trepid and intrepid adventurers, boy, that just doesn't roll off the tongue anyway.

It's well balanced. Yeah, we're a nice mix. Yeah. The four of you. had arrived in the town of Bog Bottom after having been dropped off on the shore by a ship captain who said you didn't have any money after having fled from conflicts to the north

that I'm sure we'll get into at some point in time the four of you arrived in Bog Bottom with very little coin in your purse and not much of a direction to take but you soon learned that the town was in need of heroes and since there weren't any of those around the four of you stepped up

Oh, Jason. To help them. The four of you went out into the swamp to find some missing villagers who went missing near an old decrepit mill. Hey, Jason. Yeah. Sorry, did we ever get names for those villagers? Asking me the difficult questions. Halperin and Paneria.

Paneria makes good bread. asking me hard questions during my recap. Okay. So sorry. It seemed important. The four of you arrived at this crumbling mill in the middle of the swamps, and after chopping your way inside through some vines, you encountered a trio of angry beetles.

These beetles attempted to harm you, but were pretty ineffective, and you managed to smash them without much trouble. However, what was far more dangerous to the group of you were the stairs going up, as many of you fell through the stairs. Some more than once. Look, they didn't have stairs where I grew up.

As you attempted to climb up to the second floor of the mill, up above, you heard strange and mysterious voices that sounded almost like they were croaking, like there were frogs. Do you think, though, that this is the first floor, and the one below is the ground floor? Like, what is the numbering convention? Are you asking me if this has European floor naming conventions, if it's a ground floor versus first floor?

No, I'm going to go ahead and say that this mill in the middle of the store, Middle of the Swamp is on the American Convention of Building Naming, so it's first or second. Just checking. All right. Please continue. Where is America in the Pathfinder? You just left Andoran? It's to the north. It only took us one episode to be so integrity. As God intended. Who's doing all this work for us?

My recap, don't worry, I said before the episode started. It'll only take me a minute. What I didn't anticipate was your meddling. You made it up to the... the second floor of the mill where you saw a ladder on the far side of the room, but sleeping before it was some dark shape. And I believe that's where we left off. But before we get started, why don't I toss it around the horn and let everybody introduce

themselves and their character? We're going to start with squash. Hello, America, and outside of that awful place, I'm Iyo, and I play squash. He's a rowdy fella. He's a little dog man. He's a shuny in the Pathfinder universe. He's got a heart of gold and a little bit of sass to him. And that's it.

Take it away, Spite. Okay, I'm Margaret, and I'm playing a character named Spite. I know it's really hard to tell the difference where spite ends and Margaret begins or vice versa. Spite is a human champion of Malani, and I am very convinced that it is very important to be moral at all times. It's just that I worship a god of violent revolution. So it's a complicated moral dance, and I walk around in chain mail and go clink, clink, clink all the time, which will totally not come up when we try and sneak past this tootro. Go ahead, Trant. I'm Trant.

I'm an alchemist. I like, you know, making potions. I enjoy pyrotechnics. I'm more or less a pacifist, unless there happen to be people where I'm setting off bombs, in which case that's kind of, you know, on them, I feel like for the most part. But, yeah, a good person, basically, more or less. my name is hazel i use they them and i am playing sister murdragona bow or murdy for short who is privately very concerned about whether any particular action is moral or not but isn't going to fucking talk to you about that shit i'm just trying to make soup i'm trying to feed the

people i am a half orc cleric i follow a god eristyle doesn't matter what eristeele is up to i'm in some like underground revolutionary soup cult there's a magical perpetual stew that heals you Other important character notes are that I have triangle bangs. This is very important to me. If you don't know what this is, listener, you should go look it up, and then you should give yourself triangle bangs, and that is legally actionable advice. That's what people come to LivePlace for.

Legally actionable advice. All right. So, a wooden shaft once pierced this chamber, connecting the machinery above with the millstone below, but now it lays in ruins on the floor. On the other side of the room, a ladder goes up to what must be the top floor. but a dark shape appears to be sleeping in front of it.

At least that's what I read to you last time. Now, you can see on the map, you're on the second floor of the mill. You can see the mill's kind of shaft is laying in tatters on the floor. There is a large-looking, now that you can kind of see it in the gloom, it looks like a lizard. Rather big, nasty-looking lizard, curled up on the floor. It is not too far away from the ladder, which you can kind of see on the opposite side down here. This ladder goes up to what must be the top floor. The hole in the ceiling, and up there, you can see what almost looks to be like the underside

of a cage dangling above the hole. Huh. Do I hear the frogs? So interestingly enough, as you make your way to the top of the stairs, the sounds of conversation from above abruptly stop. Oh, I think the frogs hurt us. Well, should we keep climbing? I mean, I feel like we should deal with this lizard, and I have a suggestion.

What's your suggestion, Trant? Well, I mean, it's a bomb. How sturdy is the floor? Up here at this level of the mill, the exterior walls are still kind of crumbling stone, but the floors are definitely made of wood. It looks relatively intact. It's definitely old and water damaged. It's warped in places here and there, but it still looks relatively sturdy.

Also, of note, this. tower is in the swamp. So everything here is soggy and damp. So even if you did throw a fire bomb, the odds that it would actually catch this place on fire are almost zero.

Okay, but it doesn't need to catch the place on fire. It just needs to take the floor out from underneath the lizard to the lizard drops down. Oh, sure. We could do that too. I was afraid of us destroying ourselves with fire, but I see your point. Spite, you got to

get over this fire phobia you've got. Spite, you gotta calm down and live a little bit. But do you guys remember when we were in town? And Subalba Splashpage came up to us and said, if there was anybody sleeping that we wouldn't kill them. But then Dilbert Delgo, the mayor of town, said, hey, I think if you see somebody sleeping that you should actually, you should kill them stone dead.

But Squirtle Towncar said, I don't know, I think you should leave it up to your own. Jason, are you writing this down? you should leave it up to your own intuition. And then Branchford Davidian came in and said, hey, what are you guys talking about? Do you guys remember that? So interestingly enough, all of you remember there being people in town,

but that's none of their names. Anyway, uh... I got a lot of head injuries for some reason, unclear why, so I'm not great with names. But that sounds mostly true. So we could either kill this lizard for no particular reason. We could walk past it. and hope it doesn't wake up.

Or we could talk to it. Well, the blizzard does look like it's asleep, which might make sneaking past it simpler, but one bad role in it might wake up, right in the middle of all of you trying to sneak your way past it. I feel like now, while it's asleep, we have a real opportunity to explode it. Okay.

I'm really bad at sneaking. Well, you've got bombs. I have all this fry oil. And so much flint and steel for cooking. Wait a second. Oh, so we can just sneak up, pour oil on it, sneak back, and then throw a Molotov at it. Let's do this. Let's oil, and I think we can simultaneously try to do oil and alchemist's fire.

And that should deal with all of our problems. I know I said I mostly eat vegetables, but I did just say mostly, and fried lizard is good. Yeah, I could go for some fried lizard. We could put it in the stew. Meanwhile, the lizard's sleeping nearby. Boy, I sure I'm glad I'm not in a stew. Okay. He's dreaming about not being in a stew.

Yeah, like you do. So I'll stand in front of whoever's throwing the Molotov. So if it does wake up, things are really bad at biting me. A lot of things have tried, and most of them that I didn't want didn't succeed. So there is this large, like, gear shaft kind of collapsed in the middle of the room. You can step over that. It's not so big that you can't step over. it, but it does cost you a little bit to step over it.

So it is a little bit of a barrier, but not much of one, and that's kind of diagonally across the room between you and the lizard. So the lizard's kind of on the other side of that. Hold the proverbial phone. There's no more talking above us. Correct. I think if we blow up this big lizard, I think the people upstairs are not going to be interested in being our friends, and I love to make friends. No, it's just frogs upstairs. I heard them pretty well

It wasn't talking It was just frogs Also I made all of you friends Blowing things up So sometimes Blowing things up Yields friends My God

You've got quite a point But what I'm thinking Three new friends Go outside This meal sucks Fuck this swamp Blow up the mill Everyone's gonna be like

Great job blowing up the mill We got some pals I like this plan But what if Halprin and Pinoria Are up there That's actually why we came Is that we thought that they might be

I don't know why they would be up there But it does seem like maybe they're just When they went out fishing Maybe there was a bad storm And they looked for shelter And then when they went upstairs Then they heard the Beatles And then they were like

I hate hearing the Beatles And so they didn't go downstairs And then we freed them I do hate Beatles also Murty is just getting oil ready I'm not participating in this conversation I am getting ready to do something Unless you will actively tell me not to do it

board. Let's do this shit. I love standing behind a barricade. So I go stand behind this barricade with my shield up and my morning star ready. So I'll say this. Anybody who wants to advance from their current position without waking up the lizard needs to make me a stealth check. Oh, well, then never mind. Everyone get behind me and then one person sneak up. I think I'm going to go take a peek at these frogs and I'm going to give a thumbs up or a thumbs down. If they've got a nefarious look on their face, I'm going to say, uh-uh, blow up that lizard and we're going to blow up these frogs, too. Okay.

Okay. So your thought is to sneak all the way across the room and climb the ladder without waking up the lizard. That sounds like a pain in the ass. Let's blow up the lizard. All right, we're blowing up the lizard. I love my job as GM just to point out what you're attempting to do to get you to say,

yes, that's the thing I'm trying to do, or wait, that's not going to work. I say that and I look at the breadth of the room and I say like, I'm tired, just kill the leaves. All right. So you're sneaking up and who's the sneakiest? Not me, but I do have prestidigitation. I got a five.

I got a plus seven to stealth. All right. You're oiling. Okay. Transmalotovian. Sure. Murdi, what did you say? Sorry.

I have goose eggs, but I have prestidigation so I can move things. Oh. You can move around small light objects. Not like you couldn't, you couldn't take a vial of oil and float it across the room. For that, you would need like major. Gotcha. Okay, but Jason, Jason, my oil comes in pints, and this is how big a pint is. It's too heavy for Presteditary Day.

Yeah. All right, so Squash, you're sneaking up with oil. I sure am. Squash, Trant, I need both of you to make me stealth checks. Absolutely. How close do you have to get to throw a Molotov at it? Well, so here's the thing. Most of these things have a range of 20 feet.

So if you're more than 20 feet away, you'll take a penalty. So if you want to be able to make an effective attack, against it, you have to get closer. You could throw it from here, but your odds of failure go up. Because right now, you're about almost 40 feet away. I now understand why when people play barbarians, they just draw swords and attack. It happens sometimes. Sometimes violence is the solution.

I did just buy a patch that says that. All right. So y'all are sneaking and then running back and I'm running forward once silence is no longer necessary. So here's how it's going to work. Trant and Squash can make me stealth checks to move up to the barrier. Okay. Once they throw, that's when combat's

going to start. Okay. Now, this is one of those situations where both of them can choose to roll stealth for initiative instead of perception, which means they will be going on a sneaky schedule, but... Gotcha. Only if they beat the lizard, but the lizard is asleep, so

you know, that's in your advantage. Easy. Okay. So let's start by having the two of you make a stealth check. Meanwhile, Mertie and Spite, the two of you are just kind of hanging back because if you move it all, you might wake it up. Okay.

Should I roll now? Go ahead. All right. That's a 12 with modifiers. Okay. That's a 2 plus 7. So that's a total of 9. Now, there is one thing I will say

that I neglected to mention to you in the first session. And I'm going to mention it to you now. Characters in Pathfinder have hero points. And you start each session with one hero point. Now, what can you use a hero point for, you might ask? Well, you can use a hero point to re-roll a roll. That is one of the things you can do.

Especially when the game will be fucked up if you don't do it. Jason? I'm mentioning this to you right now. For no particular reason. Jason, I'm going to take my backpack off my back, and I'm going to fish out that hero point, and I'm going to offer it up to You Are God and re-roll this role. Oh, I got a promotion.

Trantz, are you re-rolling? I think 12's okay for a sleeping lizard, let's hope. All right. All right. That's 13 plus 7, and that's what we call a 20 in any language. All right. So the two of you do manage to sneak up to the fallen crank shaft. So go ahead and, you know, we can move you kind of up closer.

Do you know what else is really stealthy, though? Do you know what just sneaks up on you out of nowhere? Is it ads? Ads. They just show up and throw oil on you. I have had that problem with blue apron before. Yeah. Yeah, but it's not oil like we're oiling the dragon.

It's oiled. Like in 1980s body filter is oiled. It's like listening and smooth. That's exactly it. So enjoy these glistening, smooth, hairless, mid-riff-wearing ads that are tossing a frisbee around the park. That was oddly specific. Here they are. I'm Robert Smith.

This is Jacob Goldstein. And we used to host a show called Planet Money. And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and business. businesses in history. And some of the worst people. Horrible ideas and destructive companies in the history of business. Having a genius idea without a need for it is nothing. It's like not having it at all. It's a very simple, elegant lesson. Make something people want. First episode, how Southwest Airlines use cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline business. The most Texas story ever. There's a lot of mavericks in that story. We're going to have mavericks on the show. We're

plenty of robber barons. So many robber barons. And you know what? They're not all bad. And we'll talk about some of the classic great moments of famous business geniuses, along with some of the darker moments that often get overlooked. Like Thomas Edison and the electric chair. Listen to business history on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Here we go. Hey, I'm Cal Penn. And on my new podcast, Here We Go again, we'll take today's trends and head lines and ask, why does history keep repeating itself? You may know me as the second hottest actor from the Harold and Kumar movies, but I'm also an author, a White House staffer, and as of like

15 seconds ago, a podcast host. Along the way, I've made some friends who are experts in science, politics, and pop culture. And each week, one of them will be joining me to answer my burning questions. Like, are we heading towards another financial crash like in 08? Is non-monogamy back in style? And how come there's never a gate ready for your flight when it lands like two minutes early? We've got guests like Pete Buttigieg, Stacey Abrams, Lily Singh, and Bill Nye. When you start weaponizing outer space, things can potentially go really wrong. Look, the world can seem pretty scary right now, because it is. But my goal here is for you to listen and feel a little better about the future. Listen and subscribe to here we go again

with Cal Penn on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you guys. get your podcasts. All I know is what I've been told, and that's a half-truth is a whole lie. For almost a decade, the murder of an 18-year-old girl from a small town in Graves County, Kentucky, went unsolved, until a local homemaker, a journalist, and a handful of girls, came forward with a story. I'm telling you, we know Quincy killed her. We know.

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We're sliding back in, glistening and oily. All right. Just throwing a frisbee at the problem. Oh, I want to play a hymbo character. Oh, well. Squash, Trant, the two of you have snuck up closer to the lizard. You are now within range that you don't have to worry about any range penalties. So here's what's going to happen.

I'm going to allow the two of you to both make ranged attack rolls. Okay. against the sleeping lizard. Trant, you can make a bomb roll for Squash. Squash, what's your decks? My decks is a plus four. A plus four. Okay.

You can attempt a roll, and your bonus on this roll is going to be a plus four as you throw a pint of oil. I'm rolling. I got a 11 plus 5, 16 total. Ha ha ha ha. It's a 19 plus 4. It's a 23rd. three total. Very good.

Let me look at my poor young monitor lizard here. Take this, Rango. Well, now that you gave it a name, I'm worried about it. But it's voiced by Johnny Depp, so how do you feel now? Oh, okay. Well, that's better. All right. So the oil and the alchemist fire land home with a shatter of glass, a splatter of oil, a burst of flame.

The lizard is now. on fire. Trant, can you go ahead and roll damage for your bomb? Absolutely. Squash, I'm going to go ahead and roll a die to add some more damage based on the oil you just threw on it. I'm just going to go ahead and roll that. D8 plus a one plus two is three, right? It's one persistent and one other, so that should be three total. Three total. All right. And the oil added some more damage to that. So the lizard, which was quite asleep, suddenly finds itself. coated in burning oil. Suffice to say, the young monitor lizard wakes up when lit on fire, as most of us do,

and is now, unsurprisingly, very mad. So it is time for us to go back into initiative because this monitor lizard is intent upon eating you all. That seems like an extreme reaction. Even me? Well, that's too bad for it. Because I am intent on eating that lizard. I'm going to nudge spite and go, nuggies?

Lizard nuggies tonight? That sounds good. All right. So I need everyone to roll initiative. Mertie and Spite, the two of you can roll me perception. Trant and Squash, you can choose to roll stealth if you want, especially if that's higher than your perception bonus. All right.

Yeah, my perception is higher, or my stealth is higher. So I will use that. Five total a ten. Yeah, let me go around and grab that. Trance, you got a 10. Total, yeah. Squash, you got a, how much? I got a 15 for a total of 22.

22, pretty good. Mertie, what did you get? I got a 13 plus 7 is 20. All right, and last but not least, spite, what do you got? 16 plus 4 is also 20. And between the two of us, Mertie, if you're going to cast some kind of spell, then you should go first.

And if not, I should go first so that I can be closer. to the front to be more likely to have it try and hit me. Yeah, my bless hasn't come back yet, so. Yeah, you won't get that back till tomorrow, so. Oh, okay. All right, I've put a spite in the top position there. All right, so this monitor lizard and the square that it is in is on fire. As long as it stays there, it's going to take a little bit more fire damage each round

as the oil continues to burn off. But we're going to start with squash. So squash, you just threw the oil at the poor monitor lizard. It's not right next to you. In fact, there is a fallen crankshap for the windmill in front of you. This would be an opportune moment for you to, you know, vault around and try and get next to it if you wanted. But it is your turn.

You have three actions. What do you do? Mm-hmm. Every single one of these squares in D20 is five feet. Each one is five when you start taking diagonals. The first one is five, and the second one is ten within a movement. But otherwise, yeah, it's basically five feet. Okay.

And remind me, would my whole movement take up 25 feet, all three actions I take? So each action you take to move will allow you to move 25 feet. What an incredible game, Pathfinder, is I recommend it to everyone listening. But this complicates the thing I want to do, which is run upstairs and try and play like we didn't just light this lizard on fire to these frogs. That's a good idea. So understanding that each round of combat is only a couple seconds left. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, what you're asking is, can I run over to the ladder,

climb all the way up, and then start interacting with whatever's going on up there? And the answer is, can you do that? You can. I'll let you. But from where you're at right now, it would take most of your turn to get to the ladder and start climbing it. On your next turn, you'd probably get upstairs. Hmm. You know, that's just, that's, I wouldn't believe me.

I'm just providing you options. Safe, safe options. Safe, safe options, indeed. I'm going to shoot the lizard with a gun. So you're going to draw your gun and fire. It's a nine plus seven for a total. of 16. That is going to hit.

Go ahead and roll damage. Of course it is. Just barely. Your bullet manages to clip the lizard in the leg. Three. Three points of damage. Lizard hisses in pain.

And I hit that big artery like in Band of Brothers, of course. There he goes. You do still have one action left if you want to move or reload your gun. I'm going to reload, my God. All right. That is the end of Squash's turn.

Next up, spite. Okay, this drive shaft in the middle of the room, it's something, or is it like it would take a check to get over? It would take an extra action. No, it just counts as what we call difficult terrain, so moving into its space costs you basically double. Okay, so with my movement, I could only with one action get basically on top of it.

Yeah, just about. You could get right next to Squash, right up next to it or between squash and trance right next to the shaft. Okay, so I'm going to use if I am next to a square that is on fire,

does that put me in danger? No, not generally, no. Okay, I'm going to use two actions of movement and one of them is going to be part of my, raise my shield, walk forward and hit, and I'm going to stride forward

confidently. It works every time. I'm going to stride forward confidently put this poor creature out of its misery by hitting it in the head so that I can put it in soup. Go ahead and move yourself adjacent to the lizard. You can kind of be on any one of the spaces next to it up there

as you move your way across the mill floor, hop over the fallen crankshaft, and you find yourself adjacent to this. Frankly, rather big lizard. The thing's about four and a half feet, five feet long. This thing will feed a whole family back in town. We should have some in the soup, but the rest everyone else can eat.

That's so many nuggies. I always knew I was a humanitarian. That's right I wonder if the Beatles are edible I rolled an 11 plus 7 is 18 You bring your What are you wielding a morning star? Morning star, yeah

In real life I only have a mace I tried to find a morning And I did not successfully find one Yeah, they're a little tricky to find And most of them are mislabeled As something else like flail Yeah Anyway, you bring the weapon down

Atop the giant lizard You do manage to hit Slamming into its back with mighty force, blood pouring out of it. Go ahead and roll me damage. I actually wouldn't say it was mighty force because I rolled a one for damage, but plus four, so five. Well, that ends up being a pretty significant hit anyway.

But you are correct. It did not end the lizard. The lizard looks badly hurt now, but it is still ready to fight. That is the end of Spites' turn. Next up, Mardi. Mardi's going to stay towards the back, but I am going to cast Divine Lance.

The flavor text on that is you unleash a beam of divine energy and I make a range attack spell. And if I hit the target, it's going to take 2D4 spirit damage. Okay. What's the range on that, by the way? 60 feet. Great. All right.

I have rolled a 13 on the die plus my spell attack bonus, which is seven for a total of 20. All right. Your Lance shines across the room in a blinding. flashing the lizard and go ahead and roll damage. That is four damage. Four damage.

The lizard recoils in pain as the lance of divine energy strikes it. You do still have one action remaining. I do. I would like to cast guidance. Does anybody want plus one this turn? I can't give everybody plus one. But if anybody has something they really want, an extra floor. Me! I'll take it!

Okay. Sold to the pugman. Squash wins again. Okay, that would be the end of murder's turn. Trant. All right. We are up to you. Somehow this lizard completely lost initiative.

Well, this is obviously a complicated situation, but I think I have a nuanced solution to this problem, and I'm going to throw another grenade. This one's an acid grenade, though. All right, is this one of your regular ones, or are you spending an action to make a versatile vault? Oh, no, I'm using one of my premades. All right. Is this one where you can control the splash damage to not hit me?

No. Well, I didn't roll well. So that's the second five in a row, which is a 10 total. So that is going to miss the acid vial lands directly behind it. And that does do splash damage, right? It does have a one splash. Yes. All right.

So it lands right behind the lizard. That is going to do one point of damage to it. But that is all, I'm afraid. Okay. With your quick bomber, that was only one action. I'm going to draw one of my holdout pistols. and I'm going to take a swing. Okay, so you're going to fire the pistol at it?

Yeah. This does still count as your second attack for the turn, so it will take a penalty even though it's a different weapon. Well, we'll see how it goes. Yep, go right ahead. Hey, at least I rolled better, but I don't think that's going to go very well. So what am I minus? So it's 12 plus your bonus minus 5.

Okay, that's just going to be 12. All right. So you pull out your holdout pistol, take aim, pull the trigger, and with a thundering crack, the bullet flies right over its head and hits the wall of the mill. That was a warning shot. Gosh, we're not great hunters.

No, we're not. I mean, to be honest, this poor lizard is on fire and has been hit several times, and it's like literally just woke up. So I think it's been warned rather well. However, it is now the lizard's turn, and it is very angry.

So it is going to attempt to attack you, Margaret. I'm shocked by this. That's fine. My shield is up as part of my weird striding action. Very good, because this lizard hits for a lot. The lizard is going to go ahead and attack you with its jaws. Dan it.

Dan it. Dan it. Dan it, dan it, dan it, dan, dan, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. So the lizard reaches back and lunges forward. with a 23 to hit. Oh, that does get past my 19 armor class. Yeah, it is. And then it is going to do damage.

Let me go ahead and roll that. Take four points of damage? No. No. I don't use my reaction. Yeah. I use my reaction to shield block. You know, so far in this adventure,

the only people who have done damage to the party is the party jumping up and down those stairs. I can't seem to hurt you at all. That said got me. Let that be a lesson to you, Jason. That's right. Don't try. Okay. So the lizard attempts to bite you, but you block it with your shield.

Yeah. So that only does four points of damage, so it is entirely blocked by the shield. The lizard has no choice but to attempt to bite you again. Here it comes. Gosh, I feel like a character from one of those books that I always read as a kid. So the lizard

is on fire and rather distracted. It attempts to bite you two more times, but just fails to do so. It has no ability to get through your defenses, and it is going to take a little bit more damage because it is on fire. That is the end of the poor lizard's turn. I doubt it's going to get another turn. Squash, we are back to you. Top of the order. What do you do? A cool backflip. A cool backflip. Yes, I get out of its range, and I start running up those damn stairs. Well, in this case, it's a ladder, but yeah.

I start running up that damn ladder. I yell Squash. I got to let them know. And I'm like projecting my voice and I'm just like, there's a big problem down here. We got to let these guys know. This is what I sound like when I'm being insincere. We got to let these guys know.

All right. Squash makes a bolt for the ladder. That's going to be the end of Squash's turn. Spite. This thing looks, I'm just going to hit it. I'm going to raise my shield and then hit it with a morning star. I'm not going to use a, yeah, I rolled a 19 on the die, a 26. That is actually a critical hit.

You bring the morning star right down on its head. For a total of 12 damage after doubling. Well, the poor lizard didn't last very long. It woke up on fire and was killed moments later. It's charred and burning body now lays on the floor of the mill. The smoke from its burning body smells, frankly, rather delicious. It's a, it's bigly like chicken. Bog bottom's going to eat for a week.

See, this is why I always put salt in my bombs. You guys said I was crazy, but. I wish that your acid bomb might hit it. We could have been having sweet and sour lizard. Oh, yeah, and there's turmeric in the acid bomb, so it really, it's a nice little zing. Yeah, we got to make sure it doesn't hit your stuff. scan or else you'll dye yourself yellow forever. Also the acid will kill you.

Also the acid. And you'll die embarrassed. But do you know what would be embarrassing? What's that? Not taking advantage of these goods and services that we offer with this exclusive program. I don't know if you all knew this, but podcasts get offered to share with the world things that are happening in the form of advertisements.

And we actually have one of those projects ourselves, and we allow people to, in exchange, they give us money. And then we let them tell you about all these important things that are happening. So please, buy lava lamps. This seems like some Chalaxian bullshit. I don't think this exists within the world of Pathfinder. No, it's Endoran propaganda. You should all buy lava lamps in bulk. That tracks.

Here's some ads. I'm Robert Smith, and this is Jacob Goldstein, and we used to host a show called Planet Money. And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history. And some of the worst people, horrible ideas, and destructive companies in the history of business. Having a genius idea without a need for it is nothing. It's like not having it at all. It's a very simple, elegant lesson. Make something people want.

First episode, how Southwest Airlines use cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline business. The most Texas story ever. There's a lot of mavericks in that story. We're going to have mavericks on the show. We're going to have plenty of robber barons. So many robber barons. And you know what? They're not all bad.

And we'll talk about some of the classic great moments of famous business geniuses, along with some of the darker moments that often get overlooked. Like Thomas Edison and the electric chair. Listen to business history on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever. You get it, your podcast. Here we go. Hey, I'm Cal Penn, and on my new podcast, Here We Go Again, we'll take today's trends and headlines and ask, why does history keep repeating itself?

You may know me as the second hottest actor from the Harold and Kumar movies, but I'm also an author, a White House staffer, and as of like 15 seconds ago, a podcast host. Along the way, I've made some friends who are experts in science, politics, pop culture. And each week, one of them will be joining me to answer my burning questions. Like, are we heading towards another financial crash like in 08? Is non-monogamy back in style? And how come

there's never a gate ready for your flight when it lands like two minutes early? We've got guests like Pete Buttigieg, Stacey Abrams, Lili Singh, and Bill Nye. When you start weaponizing outer space, things can potentially go really wrong. Look, the world can seem pretty scary right now, Because it is. But my goal here is for you to listen and feel a little better about the future. Listen and subscribe to here we go again with Cal Penn on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All I know is what I've been told. And that's a half-truth is a whole lie.

For almost a decade, the murder of an 18-year-old girl from a small town in Graves County, Kentucky. went unsolved, until a local homemaker, a journalist, and a handful of girls came forward with a story. I'm telling you, we know Quincy Kilder, we know. A story that law enforcement used to convict six people, and that got the citizen investigator on national TV. Through sheer persistence and nerve, this Kentucky housewife helped give justice to Jessica Curran.

My name is Maggie Freeling. I'm a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist. journalist, producer, and I wouldn't be here if the truth were that easy to find. I did not know her and I did not kill her, or rape or burn or any of that other stuff that you all said. They literally made me say that I took a match and struck and threw it on her. They made me say that I poured gas on her. From Lava for Good, this is Graves County, a show about just how far our legal system will go

in order to find someone to blame. America, y'all better work the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small towns. Listen to Graves County in the Bone Valley feed on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And to binge the entire season ad free, subscribe to Lava for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. In early 1988, federal agents raced to track down the gang they suspect of importing millions of dollars worth of heroin into New York from Asia. We had 30 agents ready to go with shotguns and rifles and you name it. But what they find is not what they expected.

Basically, your stay-at-home moms were picking up these large amounts of heroin. They go, is this your daughter? I said yes. They go, oh, you may not see her for like 25 years. Caught between a federal investigation and the violent gang who recruited them, the women must decide who they're willing to protect and who they dare to betray. Once I saw the gun, I tried to take his hand

and I saw the flash of light. Listen to the Chinatown Stang on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts. And we're back, and I think doing ad transitions has long been my favorite part of the job for some unknowable reason, but I think Pathfinder ad transitions are even more fun for me. They're probably terrible for you because you had to take a break and press forward on your phone. I'm getting used to them. I'm going to get a hang of this by episode four, and I'm going to be fucking running circles around you with some bullshit. Well, okay, so Jason, what was happening?

So you just defeated a slumbering lizard by ganging up on it and lighting it on fire in its sleep. That's what you've done because you're heroes. We hunted this lizard. It's food. Yes, absolutely. I'm butchering it. Great job, heroes. And as the combat comes to an end, you can't help but notice that Squash looks like he's just going upstairs.

So you all best follow him Unless you want him to encounter whatever's up there all by himself I'd go after But the meat We'll come back for it I want to peek my head up Like I'm not jumping out What do I see up there?

So Squash you climb up to the next floor The narrow ladder that leads up to the top floor of the old mill Creeks alarmingly but stands firm when used The dusty floor of the mill sits directly beneath beneath the massive gear that transfers power from the turning veins of the windmill outside to the millstone below. Or at least it once did. Now this chamber is in ruins, with broken pieces of its large gears scattered around and several holes in the floor. Suspended above the gaping hole in the floor is a cage with a pair of humans locked inside. Two of the missing folk

from bog bottom getting them down from here looks dangerous now squash the one thing that immediately becomes apparent to you that it doesn't look like there's anyone else up here or at least no one that you can see um uh can i roll a perception check you sure can are you still just on the ladder i'm at the top let's say the third rung of the ladder i'm like piquing my little fucked up eyes over the... Yeah, you would need to be up near the top of it. I'm assuming the rest of you are moving your way over to the ladder just in case things go pear-shaped.

Yeah, and I'm like not saying anything, but I have like grabby hand towards what I assume is Trant for like, bomb, please. Oh no. It's a two plus five for my perception, which is any way you slice it, probably not good. So, looks fine. So you take a good look around. and see nothing at all.

Those voices were just in my imagination, and I stride confidently to the cage to let my new friends out. So, yeah, you look out across this room. It's filled with broken junk and debris. There is this large hole in the floor, and suspended above the hole is this cage. Can you reach the cage from the edge of the hole?

Boy, it's like a three or four foot reach out over the void. So it's a little dangerous. It might be better to kind of pull, get something to pull the cage over or something like that. That way it was more easily accessible. Like a glave?

Anything really? I mean, anything with like a hook on it just to pull the cage because it is suspended by a rope. But it doesn't look like the villagers inside are going to be of any help because they're apparently unconscious.

You hope? You don't think they're dead, but... These lazy bones. I know how to wake him up. Trent only has one form of wake-up call And it involves shattering glass and fire And it's cocaine bombs, Trance That's actually a pretty good idea

Do you want me to throw you a bomb? It's going to be snowing at the top level Throw me the cocaine bomb, Trant I'll throw you a bomb He has a bomb, yeah I'm also climbing up to the upstairs While this is happening I'm also climbing up

Somebody could make a better perception because I'm striding confidently towards the cage so I can like get in reach and try and try and unlock these poor villagers whose names I definitely know. So it sounds like spite is climbing up second. Is that correct? Marty can go first. Marty's better at perception. I was going to offer to ask if casting a heel spell would wake them up. So once you're close to them, once you can see them, I mean, you could try that. You don't know if they're unconscious because of their wounds. really what you need to do is use medicine on them

to see if they're alive, if they're dead, if they're unconscious. You can't really do that without being close to them, though. I do have a medics kit and we'll do that. So, Murdy, I've moved you down to the other map. I'm assuming Murdy and Squash, the two of you can see the situation that you're looking at. Ooh, this is a bad scene. I would not be happy if I was in this room and I am.

Squash. Me, Squash. I'm not happy in this room. So here's what's happening, everybody. Squash has climbed up the ladder and is approaching the cage. Murdy has just gotten to the top of the ladder. Meanwhile, spite is climbing the ladder and Trant, you're at the foot of the ladder. So getting up the ladder takes two total actions.

Spite, you've spent one, Trant, you've spent zero of those. The other people are up on the ladder. This is the point where things go wrong. Emerging from behind some debris are a pair of humanoids. They stand about five feet tall. They are wearing leather armor. Each has a morning star in hand. They have a sling at their belt.

And both of them are most certainly humanoid frogs. Now, those of you who have been in Bog Bottom for a bit, all of you, you've seen a few of these humanoid frogs. They're called Boggards. However, these two boggards do not look friendly like those you met in Bog Bottom. These two look rather angry that you've invaded their tower, and both of them are moving up to attack Squash. What did I do?

I'm going to go ahead and reveal their tokens. You guys, I think I misunderstood when I heard frogs up above. I actually think it was these two. The mystery has been revealed. Wait, these aren't, these aren't frogs. These are gulp, little green men. You mean from like, and I like point and I like look at Mertie and I say from up there? And I am convinced and no one be able to tell me otherwise that they are frogs and not aliens.

So here's what we're at. We're at a bit of a little complex combat situation where we've got some people who need to join the fight. Squash and Mertie are up there. I'm going to have everyone roll initiative, though, and that'll determine kind of how you make your way up to the upper level. I'm going to go ahead and roll for my friendly Boggards here. And everyone else, if you can roll and hold on to your number, I'll go around and collect it real quick. This is going to be perception for everybody this time. Squash, what do you got? It's a 17 plus 5. That is a 22, maybe. all right

Murdy what do you got I say 12 plus 7 is 19 okay spite what do you got 12 plus 4

16 and finally Trant what do you got 16 plus 2 is 18 all right so top of the order

in combat squash you did just barely spot these boggards as they hopped out of the kind of rubbish that they were concealed in. It's clear that they heard you fighting the lizard down below and prepared for your rival with an ambush. However, you are going to get to go first. Holy smokes. I do a backflip onto the cage.

You can attempt that. If you fail, you will fall all the way down to the floor below. A fat chance that I'll ever fail something like that. So Jason Tell me about your acrobatics check So what I rolled was a four And I have an acrobatics of seven And it is an 11

A thing that will make it good So remember before when I told you You had a hero point And remember before when you spent it I'm sure you wish that you had another one Wait, no, I don't think anyone else on this call remembers it either I'm pretty sure you spent it.

Oh, Jason, you got me dead rights. You attempt to flip up onto the cage, but instead just kind of hit the side of it. Yeah. And then fall all the way down to the floor below. As he passes me, I say, hey, buddy. Hey, Trent. Throw the bounce house bomb, please. When that exists, I'll get right on it.

Oh, no, we were still working on it. Thump. So Squash lands on top of the crankshaft of the windmill, like on his back. Oh. Take five points of damage. Okay. And you are prone. Okay.

You still technically have one action left. You can stand up if you want. I'm going to stand up and say, I'm getting too old for this. So, that was squash. Mertie, you're now up there by yourself. Don't do the same thing. I'm also going to mutter. I'm getting too old for this shit.

Again, Mertie always looks tired. Mertie looks more tired now than I did previously. You know, well, I had a turn plan. And see, the thing is that most of what I have is about buffing other people. All right. How far away am I from this? There's two guys. There's two. Yeah. They're both about the same distance away. The one to the north and a bit to the east of you is probably a hair closer, but they're both pretty close. I think you can also delay to be after other people if your whole thing is that you're trying to help other people.

Although I guess actually going ahead of the people that you're helping is more useful, right? Usually. Yeah. I'm only one action from being up there. I've got some tricks up my sleeve. What I would really love is to command them in the dialogue. I don't think that's going to happen. So I'm instead going to raise my shield,

cast days, and hope for the best. All right. Which one are you going to cast days on? One or two. Let's go for the westerly one. Is that number two? No, that's number one. But all right, yeah.

Okay. So you raise your shield and call upon Eristel's blessing to days, one of the frogs. That is going to require me to make a will save, correct? Yeah, you push into the target's mind and daze it with a mental jolt In my mind, I'm just making it distractedly hungry Oh sure, that tracks The jolt deals one D6 mental damage with a basic will save

And if the target critically fails the willsame, it's also stunned one My dice have finally come alive I got a 25 on the will save Oh, Jason, no you didn't I did, yeah, yeah That's gonna be a save well I rolled a three so they still take three damage from being so fucking hungry so it is actually a basic will save which means whenever it says basic like that

what that means is that on a success the damage is halved on a critical failure the damage is doubled so in this case it is only going to take half damage so it will take one point of damage because that's going to round down you notice that the bugger kind of shakes it off a bit and then looks at you with baleful intent your turn is over Trant, you can go, but the ladder above you is still blocked. Spite is on it. You might want to delay until I get up. No, no, I got a better plan.

I'm going to climb up until I'm right behind Spite. Yeah. And then I heard, did I hear them fighting? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to hurl my last alchemist fire in the direction of the fighting, as close as I can get to where I heard. Okay.

So from the ladder, you're not entirely sure what direction. it is. It could be north. It could be west. Okay. What does it sound like? Can I do a perception test? Sure. Why don't you give me a perception? Sure. That's a five. I've rolled almost nothing but fives. You're pretty sure it's coming from kind of the north. Okay. I'm going to yell up. Don't worry. I got you. And then I'm going to blindly throw a grenade

above me and try to arc it over in the proper direction. Give me an attack. I got a 19. I got a 19 plus 5 minus whatever. So the grenade comes flying up the hole, arcing through the air, you all see it. Actually, I guess only really Mertie sees this grenade go flying past, arcing up into the air, landing straight in the hole, falling back down to the ground below,

landing just next to Squash. Squash take one point of fire damage. My second best role of the day, too. I don't know how that could have gone wrong, guys. I think it went perfectly. So that is Tran's turn. Next up are the Boggards. The first Boggard is going to hop forward,

and it is going to attempt to hit you with its Morning Star. And once it arrives up near the top of the ladder, you all can see it now. almost within view. You can kind of make it out. The Morning Star is a weapon of Malani and a liberation. It shouldn't be in the hands of people who put people in cages. Well, in this case, it's only partially now in their hands, as part of it's also embedded in Murdy's side.

The Boggart swings the Morning Star viciously at you, slamming into your shoulder, take five points of bludgeoning damage. I would not like for that to happen. I would like to use my shield block. Oh. All right. Ha, cha, cha, cha. And my shield is hardness five, so I, none of that. You take nothing. We take nothing.

And the shield isn't affected at all either, right? Correct. Shields rule. Hell yeah. I should have got one. The, uh, the Boggard will then take its third and final action. You know what it's going to do? It's going to croak.

The Boggard standing next to you suddenly leans back and its throat swells. And you hear this low reverse. That's not what I thought you meant, and I'm unhappy with it. Can all of you except for Squash, who happens to be far enough away, but the rest of you, can you all make will saves from the terrifying croak? 19 baby total, 19 total, 14 was my role. I rolled 17 plus 9 is somebody to do that, 26, please. And I got a 18.

total. All right. So all three of you actually succeed on the save. So the croak is scary, but you, you're not afraid of a frog. And despite how scary it is, none of you are affected. That is the first Boggart's turn. The sisters at the crash were much scarier than that. The second Boggard is going to hop up to flank you.

So it's on the opposite side of you, which means your AC is going to be too lower. when it attacks you. And here it comes. It is about to attack you with its Morning Star. This is its second action. Armor Class 18, I'm afraid, is going to hit. Yeah, that does hit.

Take eight points of damage. Okay, I would like to use shield block again. You cannot. You have already used shield block once and you only get to react once per round. Sorry, I take how many points? Eight points of damage. Okay, that was a lot.

And with its third and five, final action, it's going to attempt to lash out at you with its tongue. Oh, my God. Well, I have nine points right now. Yuck! So does a 14 hit your armor class minus two? Well, my armor class with the shield is 16. So it does. Okay.

All right. So the tongue lashes out and grabs you. So it doesn't do any damage. Ooh. But you can now not move further away from this boggard than 10 feet because it is attached to you by its tongue. If only there was a liberation champion immediately next. Yeah.

And I actually feel guilty that I didn't use my reaction last time to reduce the damage, but I forgot about it. I'm going to use my reaction, liberating step, which frees you from restraint, and you can take a five-foot step in any. direction if you want Murdi. Like, for example, if you stepped immediately in any direction, then they wouldn't be flanking you anymore. Yeah, you're going to want to do that. I can only step in a single direction. You can go dang. Oh, okay. Could you step down the ladder shaft and pull

them with you? No. Ah, rats. Foyled again. But you can move five feet away, which will get you out of the flank and also clear the ladder. So, yeah, go ahead and pick a square adjacent to them and move to that. And next up, spite. I'm assuming you're going to finish climbing the ladder. Yeah.

Mertie, if you pick one of the sides, I was going to go there. And then that way, they both attack me instead of you. So if I go there, is that like what you meant? Dear listener, we're looking at a board, and we're playing chess on it. So it took one action to get up the ladder. And then I'm going to use my two action. raised shield stride and strike and stride that five foot to my north.

Yeah. So to paint the picture here, Mertie was at the top of the ladder, and there were a pair of these boggards on either side of Mertie. Mertie then, using the liberating step, kind of stepped off to the side to get off the ladder and to move out of the way. Spite has now climbed the ladder

and is now in the position that Mertie was in surrounded by two boggards. Right. I'm going to do the defensive advance. to raise shield, stride, and strike and go one step to my north. And I rolled a 10 plus 7 with the Morning Star, 17. All right. So as with before your Morning Star lands home,

you managed to strike one of the Boggards. One of them looks a little damage. I'm assuming you're going to focus on that one. So go ahead and roll damage. I rolled maximum instead of minimum. So I got a total of 12 damage with the Morning Star. That is an impressive hit. That hurts that Boggard quite a bit.

your morning star slams into its side, green blood pours down as it grimaces in pain and a tortured croak issues from its mouth. And I yell, don't put people in cages when I swing the Morning Star. Yeah, that's particularly offensive to you. That was spite. We are now at the top of the order. Squash, you're down below. You're kind of beat up. So I am.

I have like a Band-A. over my eyebrow. How high of a jump is it to the cage? Too high. Oh, you could not reach it from here. Not in your current condition. Oh, brother. Okay. Well, I start running towards the ladder. And I said, Gangway! All right. So you dust yourself off, make your way over to the ladder, and are able to climb up basically right behind Trant. Trant, who is basically one action from the top now. But that's kind of where you're stuck. Murdy, we're up to you. All right. Well, I still have my shield raised. I'm just declaring that. Well, actually, at the start of a new turn, you have to raise it again.

Oh, I have to raise it again? That's fine. I'll raise my shield again. And I will whack this boggart in front of me with my soup ladle, which is the favored weapon of my soup pulp. Thank you very much. All right, yeah, go ahead and make an attack roll. I cheer you on. Oh, that was a nap two. Listeners, that was a nap two.

I think I only had three. Was that your attack roll or was that a damage roll? No, that was my attack roll. Oh. Oh, I see. Yeah, no, that's not going to do it. You do still have one action left if you want to swing again. How much does it take to heal?

Is it one action? I could heal myself for one. You could use the one action version of heal on yourself, which would heal yourself for one D.A. I don't think I want to do that right now. I'm in combat. Do I want to swing again? Does anybody really want a plus one?

Yeah. All right. Tran Razner, you're getting a plus one. All right. So it sounds like you're casting guidance on Trant. Who is going next? Damn right. So, Trench, you're still on the ladder.

Okay, can I climb up now? Yeah, you can climb up. Let me go ahead and move you down. All right. I'm going to climb up that fucker. And then first enemy I see, I'm going to pull the shotgun off my back, and I'm going to empty a shitload of rocks and gunpowder into that son of a bitch. All right.

You climb up to the top of the ladder, draw your blunderbuss and fire it into the wounded boggard. You damn right. Give me an attack roll. And that's a three. So I will remind you that you do still have a hero point left. Oh, you know what? I'll use that now. Fuck it.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's a good time to use it. Natural 20. Hey, it works. Hey! There we go.

I called it a shotgun. It's technically a handgun, but it's a handgun in the old ancient sense. So it is a shotgun. And it's just a smoothbore tube that you throw whatever and gunpowder into. Yeah. So that I don't have to support the evil arms industry by buying bullets. I just make my bullets with rocks and pieces of glass and that one guy's jawbone. There's Legos in there.

There's some Legos in there, sure. Pieces of people. Why not? All right. Go ahead and roll damage. Okay. So it's 1D6. I'm guessing it's times two.

Yeah, just roll the D6 and then multiply by two. All right. That's a 6. So 12. So you level this archaic firearm that you've hand built yourself directly in the center of this boggard's chest and just blow it right out. The boggard falls in a heap of gore and viscera. Would you say it's croaked? Oh, okay.

Don't put people in cages, I say to the corpse. Yeah. That particular bargard won't be doing that anymore because it is very much dead. The other boggard, his eyes go incredibly wide when he sees that you just blew his friend away. But he is uninjured. I'm going to look back to spite and say, boss, I definitely did that because of the cages. 100%.

All about the cages. Totally a cage thing. Yeah. I believe you. Well, the other boggard now considers every other threat here secondary to the lunatic with the boomstick. and it is going to attempt to hit Trent with its Morning Star. Here we go. And I rolled a critical failure, so that's definitely going to miss.

Sweet. It is going to attempt to hit you again. Oh, my God, it's panicking. It's just swinging wildly right now. It takes three wild panic swings at you, desperate to try and kill you before you can use that deadly weapon again. But in its panic, it doesn't hit you at all. All right. That is the end of the Bargert's turn and possibly its life.

Spite, it is your turn. Okay, so I am going to use my weapon surge, and I am going to take a swing at this thing with... So basically, I'm calling upon Malani to guide my hand. I yell, Malani, guide my hand. And then think later, I really got to find a cooler way to say that. But that's what my character thinks internally. Margaret has no qualms with the way that she said it. Sure.

And I rolled nine plus eight is 17 to hit. 17. You are going to hit with Malani's blessing. It lands true. Amazing. And then I'm going to do eight bludgeoning damage and five spirit damage. So a total of 13 damage. That is an equally impressive hit to the boomstick.

Not that he can really compare because, I mean, it's just not as terrifying as. as blowing his friend's chest open. But that hurt really bad. Your Morning Star lands true and the Barkard looks pretty badly injured. He is bleeding very heavily from the side of his head, but he is still up. I decide that rather than raising my shield, which is what I got taught in class to do, I'm just so angry that I'm taking another swing.

All right. And that's a 17 plus 2 for a total of 19. That is going to hit as well, even with the penalty. And 12 damage. another 12 I say don't put people in cages so that poor Boggard sees his friend get blown

to pieces desperately tries to kill the guy with the boomstick completely ignoring the deadly morning star coming for the side of his head and within three seconds he's down and dead

He is ruined. You have caved in the side of his head. Both of the bargards have been defeated. They had such high hopes. And then you brought explosives to bear. It's almost unfair. I immediately take their mourning stars off their corpses. They don't deserve morning stars before anything else happens.

So that is the end of the combat. Both of the bargards have been slain. We did it. Well, team, I think we can safely say we saved all those people's lives. Time to leave. I think we should get them out of the cages. Why would we do that? Oh.

I'm going to throw them a lock picking kit. Yeah, yeah. You teach a man to fish, and then it gets lazy. They're unconscious. I fell down that hole, and let me tell you, Spite, you don't have the lived experience that I do. Falling down a hole, it fucking sucks. so don't live like I did. I'll say this.

With the Boggards defeated, the two villagers trapped in the cage feebly moan in their sleep. Oh, brother. Oh, villagers love doing that. The cage hangs on a chain attached to the broken windmill gears up above. Several loose boards lie about,

but the floor directly beneath the cage has given way, making any fall from that height a dangerous proposition. I'll fucking say. Yeah. Squash would indeed know. Perhaps there is some clue on how to free them in the Boggart bedding on the other side of the room. So the top floor of this, you know, taking a look around, it's pretty clear that the far side of the room over there, it looks like the Boggards may have been camping there. It looks like there's bedding and a fire pit up here, which seems kind of dangerous,

although it does look like they put their fire pit on top of a large stone. Oh, well, them are fine. Mertie, can you heal them? I need to be close to them, but if we find how to get them down... I can get this cage open. I can get this cage open real easy. Well, you should do it. No questions asked. All right.

The problem is that there's multiple things we want, and one of them is the cage open, but we also want those two people rescued safely. And so the way that I'm guessing you're thinking is unlikely to be as successful as what I think we should do, which is look around for a little bit, and then figure out how to, you know, use the glave to bring the cage closer, or we don't know yet, but probably not bombs. Probably not bombs. I mean, okay, boss, I hear what you're saying. Let me just make one note, which is that none of these people are exactly lookers.

And we all know scars are hot. I'm just saying. None of them are New York AIDS. If they would survive, then that might make sense. But if they die in the process. Oh, people often. The often survive. Yeah, the often isn't...

People survive every day, Spite. Sometimes the wrong people. I've survived me blowing myself up. Look, I'm not going to push. Options on the table, though. I go over to all the bedding, and I like kick it down the hole so it's underneath the cage. Let me describe a couple things that you can go investigate if you want. There's the bedding, which looks like it's made out of moss.

There's the campfire, which has a small kettle on it and a small bag now. Next to it, it looks like they've been cooking stuff. There is a barrel in the corner that looks recently like they put the lid on. There's a wheel barrel next to that. So that's kind of what you got that's up here that you could. I also want to search the bodies. First things first, it sounded like squash was going to kick the bedding down the hole. When you do this, you uncover that underneath one pile of the bedding is a long pole with a hook on it.

That looks like you could easily use it to snatch it. the cage and pull it over to the edge. Squash wins again, baby. So that's what Squash was doing. I want to go around the table and ask what other folks were doing as well. So, Murdy, it sounded like you were interested in the campfire. Yes, I would like to invest to get the campfire, please. And then perhaps light the fire to put my soup over the fire to keep it even 165 degrees so that I can plan to heal.

That's very important. Everybody, including the people in the cage. Thank you. So, could you give me a perception check? Sure can, boss. That was 11 plus 7 is 18. So next to the stones tucked into them, you find a small bag that when you open it, it contains some fungus, some rather strange-looking fungus. Very accurate smelling.

Can I roll a nature check to identify the fungus? You sure can? Sure can. Oh, that was a Nat 20. Plus 7 is 27. So you look at it, and what you learn is what it isn't. What it isn't is any fungus you would naturally find in the swamp. Now, maybe it's a rare fungus you just haven't heard of,

but it's definitely something weird. And you definitely think you probably shouldn't eat it, by the way it smells. Do you think it could reveal you to, Yourself. I mean, that's not what the check revealed, but there's one way to find out. Might give us a good idea of what the real gods are. No offense, boss. None taken.

So, Trant, spite, are either one of you wanting to investigate anything? There's a barrel and a wheel barrel? I'm searching the bodies. These people in the cage are asleep, right? Yeah, it looks like it. I'm going to walk up to the cage and discharge a firearm just next to them. Sure. Yeah.

so close that there's no way they're going to sleep through that. And say, wakey, wakey. You're being rescued! Yeah. Congratulations. You're saved. So you fire off the handgun, much to everyone else's surprise. However, the one pair of folks who do not seem surprised by it are the two villagers who continue to sleep inside the cage. They don't wake up.

Okay, so these guys are pretty rude. I think we can be honest about that. I'm offended at this point. We put a lot of work into this. I wonder if it's a magical tea that puts them to sleep. Can I make a medicine check on the fungus, please? I'll get to that. Yes, you can. So they didn't wake up.

Spite, in the meanwhile, you were checking the boggards for their gear. They're wearing studded leather armor. They have morning stars. They have slings with sling bullets. They both have a little bit of money on them. You find about 22 pieces of silver and eight. gold pieces. Oh, nice.

Okay, I take the gold and the silver. I will divvy it up in a moment, and I take the two morning stars, and I put them in my pack, not necessarily to sell them or anything, although if I can, I will, but just to bury them in the swamp so that they're never used for such a purpose again.

That's fair. That's fair. You wouldn't want that. They don't appear to have anything else of value on them. I want to investigate this barrel, hoping that there are some nefarious. objects in it that I can sell to off-putting people.

So you take a look inside the barrel and it looks like a collection of object. And from their different make and their different condition, it looks like this is just stuff the Boggards may have collected over the past few weeks. You don't know. According to

people in Bogbottom, more people than this have disappeared. These were just the most recent two that disappeared near the mill. And it's quite possible that these Boggards were responsible for for more than just two people disappearing. But in the bottom, you see four scrolls that are all bound up together. There are a handful of small vials with some sort of red bubbling liquid in them.

There is a rather nice-looking sword, and there is also a rather nice-looking rapier. Ooh, my goodness gracious. He gads. And at the same time, Squash, can you give me a perception check? I would love to. 11 plus 5 is a 16. Yeah, you take a look around the barrel, but you don't seem to find anything else of interest. Oh, that's too bad.

Nobody else should do that. Yeah, nothing there. Oh, well. Who wants some of these vials and swords? Viles, you say. Ooh, anything good in that barrel? I'm going to go dig through the barrel, too. I want Trant to check out these vials.

I will check out the vials. Sure. Well, we'll keep this nice and simple. Spite, give me a perception check. Trant, you look at these four vials and you immediately recognize your favorite. These are four lesser alchemist fires. Oh, excellent.

These are useless for everyone but me, so I'll just keep these in my belt. So basically, this works like just having four extra that don't go bad at the end of the day. You can keep these as long as you want. Excellent. I'm going to add that to my sheet. I rolled a 19 plus 4, so 23.

This barrel has a false bottom. I'm going to say, oh, there's more stuff underneath, I think, and I'm going to pry open the false bottom. That's classic spite. Are there more vials? So there actually are two more small glass vials, but these ones don't look like bombs. These ones are thin and narrow,

and they have a blue liquid in them. And after checking them out for just a moment, you're pretty sure these are elixirs of life. These are also alchemical items that heal you for 1D6 plus one damage on drink. There's two of them. Sorry, guys. These are useless.

They don't explode or anything. No, no, no, no, no, no. Just throw them away. I throw one over my shoulder. As soon as you all look at them negatively, I put them in my own pocket. I can remember to say these are blasphemists, only the soup heals. Oh, yes.

I will say those are healing thing and majigs. I'm like fighting spite, like, no, I hate them. Some alchemists prefer these. Why don't we get those people out of the cage and then figure out why they're still asleep? Oh, brother. Okay. I wander over to the cage. All right. So with the pole with the hook, you can attempt to pull the cage over to the edge so that you can

more easily open it. Doing so requires an athletics check. I do that. So whoever's good at athletics should try. I'm also. I got plus five. I'm plus seven. Oh, you do it.

And I will say this. The poll is long enough that you can both work on it. So one of you will aid the other. Okay, great. Oh, hey. The best way to do that is to have the person with the smaller bonus, roll the aid check. And then the other person.

That's fucking teamwork, baby. Yeah. Well, it's a nine plus five, so 14. And then I got a 12 plus. Seven is 19. The two of you working together managed to pull the cage over to the edge. And then, frankly, it's not even really locked. It's just got like a simple rope latch.

So you can kind of just open it and drag the villagers out now that the cage is on solid ground. However, once you have them, nothing you can do can rouse them. They are entirely unconscious. They do appear to be almost like they're sleeping. But no amount of noise or shaking or anything. anything, we'll wake them up. All right. I got an idea.

There's a fire pit here, right? There is. Mertie, do you know anything about this condition? I wonder if the mushrooms was a sleeping tea. Well, I also wonder if the mushrooms were a sleeping tea. I do have a medics kit. I would like to investigate those mushrooms to see if they were like sleeping tea or poison and then also potentially treat poison.

Okay, well, she's doing that. I'm going to grab a piece of charcoal, and I'm going to take it over to one of the unconscious people. And I'm going to draw just a little dick on their face. It's an important note. Did it work? So, Mertie, go ahead and give me a medicine check. All right.

Well, that was a nine plus seven to 16. You can't be certain, but you definitely are suspicious of this fungus you found, that it may have something to do with this. You do know that back in Bog Bottom, the town elders amongst them had some pretty skilled healers who frankly have lived there their entire lives. So they may have a better idea of what you're dealing with, but you need to get the villagers back to them. Fortunately, you've got

a wheelbarrel. So it shouldn't be too hard to get these unconscious villagers back. There is a ladder in between, but... It's going to take some work. We've got climbing. Yeah, and then both Trant and spite are, I feel

reasonably strong. I feel like I can probably carry a person. Reasonably. Yeah. In fact, the rest of the day is spent transporting the missing villagers back to the small swamp community of Bog Bottom, while avoiding Dunmire's many other dangers. Murmurs and whispers quickly turn to cheers as the townsfolk pour out of their stilt houses onto the wooden walkways to witness your triumphant return. The village elders quickly approached to hear the tale of the adventure, while La Drusa,

the town healer, examines the unconscious villagers. The assembled crowd listens to the story with looks of grave concern. They've always had friendly relations with the local boggards. A few even live in town, and learning that some have taken to kidnapping is a startling turn of events. Later that evening, the town throws a joyous feast and celebration. Yet, after every bite of the feast and behind every song, there's a lingering feeling that cannot be shaken. This is far from over. And that is where we are going to end this second session of Dawn of the Frogs.

I want to thank you all for playing. This was a lot of fun. I look forward to continuing our tale in the next chapter. And thanks everyone for listening. I don't know. We should do plugs here at the end, but really quickly. I'm Margaret Kiljoy. You can find me on the internet.

I'll see you next time, handsome. I'm Io. I am bumlung on the internet. Oh, I have another podcast. It's called The Spectacle. I was wondering when you're going to tell people the fact that you have a podcast called The Spectacle. I forgot about it. Robert.

I also have a podcast, and it's this. You're listening to it. So thank you. Please keep doing that. I also sort of have a podcast, and it's sort of this. And I also have a zine that you can read and download about giving yourself an abortion. angledilderness.org called How to Do It Anyway. I don't have a podcast, but I'm enjoying being on this one.

I do, however, have an awful lot of books and games you can buy. So go buy those. You can find me all over the internet at Jason Bullman, B-U-L-M-A-H-N. All right. See you all next week when the not-over thing continues to not be over in dawn of the frogs. It could happen here as a production of Cool Zone Media. For more podcasts from Cool Zone Media, visit our website, coolzonemedia.com, or check us out on the IHeard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

You can find sources for it could happen here updated monthly at coolzonemedia.com slash sources. Thanks for listening. In the heat of battle, your squad relies on you. Don't let them down. Unlock elite gaming tech at Lenovo.com. Dominate every match with next level speed, seamless streaming, and performance that won't quit. Push your gameplay beyond performance with Intel Core Ultra processors. for the next era of gaming.

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On an all-new episode of I-HartRadios Las Culturistas, Jennifer Lawrence is dishing. Jennifer Lawrence. Let's go! From her hilariously awkward run-ins with A-Lister's. I don't know what I was expecting, but he was just like, nice to meet. to her unfiltered take on beauty treatments.

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