It Could Happen Here - Halloween Satan’s New Year: Spooky Week #6

Episode Date: November 1, 2021

Book episode, in which Robert and Garrison find out what Dr. Billye Dymally thinks Halloween is. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You should probably keep your lights on for Nocturnal Tales from the Shadowbride. Join me, Danny Trejo, and step into the flames of fright. An anthology podcast of modern-day horror stories inspired by the most terrifying legends and lore of Latin America. Listen to Nocturnal on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, I'm Robert Evans. May have said that already.

I don't know. Like I said, too many motherfucking podcasts. But this is the last spooky week episode. And with me, actually in the office right now, maskless, is a protest against the mask mandates. No. Garrison Davis. No.

It's fine. It's fine, Garrison. I understand that you don't believe in health mandates. Okay. All right. We have to respect each other's differences. No, I have magic to protect myself. That's right.

So it's fine. You use chaos magic to protect yourself from COVID. Garrison, what do you got for me? We're doing the first It Could Happen Here daily book episode. Excellent. Sexy. Erotic. We were looking for spooky content for Spooky Week and around Halloween,

and I wanted to find a book written by an unhinged Christian writer about what they think Halloween is, and I found one with very little browsing. It was very quick. It took me like five minutes. It used to be you were too – well, no, because you did grow up in the cold, but you were too young to remember this being a super mainstream thing. I mean I wasn't – we had no Halloween when I was a kid.

We couldn't go trick-or-treating. We had like a harvest party the church put on. Oh, God. But like we had – I couldn't – I didn't – the first time I went trick-or-treating was when I was like 12 and I moved to Portland. No, I was like 13 was the first time I went trick-or-treating. like 12 and I moved to Portland no I was like I was like 13 was the first time I went trick-or-treating yeah it's um I mean it used to be like it used to be something that got more mainstream play the like anti-Halloween thing yeah um it kind of tied in with a satanic panic like I remember the early 90s that's what this book is gonna be about yeah angry about it but man it just is like it's

it's it almost feels like homey and comforting I I know. Thinking back to that as opposed to- This book has been oddly comforting because it just reminds me of my childhood. That's just all the same stuff. So I want you to read the title and the author of this amazing book. Okay. So this is- Wow. The cover is-

Honestly, it just looks like a normal jack-o'-lantern. It looks like a regular Halloween cover. A bat into a jack-o'-lantern, It looks like a regular Halloween cover. A bat into a jack-o'-lantern, but it's got like spooky white smoke coming out of it. Yeah, very scary. The title is Halloween, Satan's New Year by Dr. Billy Dimmely. It's not a real name.

It is not a real name. Billy. Bill Yee. I swear to God, listeners, B-I-L-L-Y-E. That is not a name. And the last name was. That is certainly not Billy. That's Billy.

But the last name was just as bad. Dimily? Yeah, D-Y-M-A-L-L-Y. Dim ally? I don't know. Dim ally? Dimily? I don't know.

Nonsense. Nonsense. Complete nonsense. Whenever you find a Christian book written by someone with doctor in front of their first name, you know it's going to be good. You got to figure out what kind of doctor first. Guess what kind of doctor. So first of all, for the author. Divinity, maybe?

So Billy Dimley, the author, earned a theological doctorate of ministry in the mid-80s at the Honolulu Hawaii extension of the Western Conservative Baptist Theological Seminary, headquartered in Portland, Oregon. So that's fun. The Honolulu one headquartered in Portland. The branch was in Honolulu, but the headquarters was apparently in Portland, Oregon in the 80s. That makes sense. I'm not sure if it's still here. You know, sister cities, Portland and Honolulu. She wrote at least 15 original manuscripts, her word manuscript um on a wide range of

biblical doctrines and subjects is a lady i believe so i mean it has she her pronouns all right i gotta i gotta i gotta continue i'm gonna look this up so yeah billy so the then the book that we're looking at is is one one of her 15 manuscripts um self-published by Infinity Publishing. Yeah, this was published in 2006. That gives us a good... Yeah, that's a lady. And if that's her actual picture on the front, she just kind of looks like a white lady. Looks like a white lady.

So yeah. So one of my favorite parts of the book so far is right when you open up to the title page, it says, you know, Halloween, Satan's Noir, the title of the book. And then as a brief description of what the book is, it says, a systematic compilation and narrative of paraphrased Bible scriptures. Oh, whoa. Nope, that is not her on the cover because she is not a white lady. Is she not? No, that's her.

Oh, so she's like a black conservative Baptist. Yeah, yeah. She just looks like, she looks like kind of like a judge she does look a lot like a judge strong judge energy judge energy yeah okay well i i do i do love the systematic compilation narrative of paraphrased bible scriptures not actual bibles not actual bible scriptures wow oh god garrison uh-huh you want to guess what she has as her place of employment on Facebook? Well, let me think. I don't know.

I'm going to read it verbatim. Okay. Works at in, and this is all caps now, the service of God. All right. She works at in the service of God. She does work at in the service of God. Yeah. Who doesn't work at in the service of God?

Am I right? Oh, fucking incredible. Based on this book, I'm guessing she got real into QAnon, but that's just based on what I've read. I think she may have died. Oh, really? Well, her last post is in February of 2020. Oh, well, I wonder

what happened around February 2022 now. Maybe she's just not super into Facebook, but she's posting quite a lot prior to that. I think there's a decent chance. Well, no, she's not. She's actually not super. There's a decent chance COVID got her.

Yeah, maybe she just doesn't use a lot of social media. That's fine. Okay, continue, please. So yeah, I do like that she describes the book as paraphrased Bible scriptures, not actual Bible scriptures, but paraphrased. And paraphrased Bible scriptures on the doctrines of good and evil,

including an expose on the practice of witchcraft, magic, occultism, divination, and Satan worship. That is how she describes the book. Now, the book is like, almost, the book is 200 pages long. And it is mostly the same sentence rewritten in like 12 ways. Excellent.

It's all saying about how good Jesus is and how evil Satan is and how people using magic are servants of Satan. Basically, it's just that for 200 pages. And she includes like a lot of, like a lot of like, again, paraphrased Bible scriptures about, you know, basically like really classic evangelical

kind of conservative Baptist Christianity type stuff. So that's what most of the book is. There's not much Halloween content in this Halloween book. That doesn't surprise me. That's often the case with these weird, like, they've got some bizarre theological gripe that's only tangentially related to the culture war issue. So they've got a lot of stuff on, like,

they have stuff on, like, Zionism and the Holy Spirit. Oh, hell yeah. I bet she's got great takes on Zionism. Sacred books, baptism. Like, it's a whole bunch of's got great takes on Zionism. Sacred books, baptism. It's a whole bunch of just like regular kind of conservative Christian stuff. Except there is one chapter that is pure gold. It is called

The Witch of Endor. Oh my. Oh wow. It is. This is the expose on witchcraft and Halloween. I'm very excited. It is the best part of the book and it's at least 30 pages. We can't read the whole thing, because honestly, again, it is mostly the same kind of sentences, but I have highlighted a few key passages from The Witches of Endor to distill out to us.

So the first thing for when... Bill-ee. Bill-ee. Bill-ee. Bill-ee, Bill-ee. that first thing for when when uh billy billy billy billy so in the section called what is a witch uh that is a good question he says a witch is a sorcerer which is a satanist witches worship ancient false gods and practice magic magic is the divinely forbidden black art of bringing about the results beyond the human power by use of evil spirits and including the devil and his demons magic always brings satan's diabolical power into play so it's it's really good um she

she goes on she goes on to to describe the practice of witchcraft using like occult formulations incantations magical mutterings peeping and chirping. No, it says chirping, parenthesis, criminal hypnosis, parenthesis. Oh, okay. That's good. Chirping. That's what chirping is. I'm glad she clarified. That's what makes a good writer is when you anticipate the questions.

Chirping. What's chirping? Criminal hypnosis. Ah, yeah. That explains it. A great writer would have further explained, is that hypnosis that is itself criminal? It doesn't say. Is that as hypnosis on a criminal?

No, it has – Is it hypnosis that makes you criminal? It does not give you any indication what criminal hypnosis is. I know, I know. Real mystery. Yeah. So she basically rounds up all different types of kind of magic and cultism into this banner of witchcraft. of magic and cultism into this into this banner of witchcraft um she says there's there's no distinction to be made between witchcraft and sorcery despite the erroneous claims that sorcery is diabolical and witchcraft is creative art both are diabolical and devilish yeah i mean i i guess i i do agree with her that i don't feel like there's a meaningful distinction between witchcraft

and sorcery um in that they're both things from both things from the books that you read as a kid. Yep. So the first thing she gets into in witchcraft, which I think is a weird intro, but I guess it makes sense from her perspective, is demon possession. So this is the first technique that she gets into. Demon possession is a result of witchcraft incantation

in diabolical witchcraft. The witch voluntarily invites the devil and his demon spirits, who are sometimes referred to as the goddess or god, or the host of a particular names of a particular deity for each society. However, there is a difference between demon possession through deliberate invocation than demon possession by demonic internal attack upon helpless and often unsuspecting suspects possession is often a common aftermath of certain of certain forms of certain illnesses such as strokes so oh okay she says that the most that you one of the easiest ways to figure out if you're possessed is if you have a stroke also if you have if you have epilepsy or

coma this is really the best way. My grandpa was pretty hard into demonology there at the end. I – jeez. Oh, man. One of the fun things about this book, though, is that she really tries to hammer down on all of the biblical examples of witchcraft, which there is, like, a few. Yeah, sure. It's the Bible. There's lots of wacky magic and shit in it.

So she really tries to convince, like, her Christian readers that witchcraft is a current problem to be worried with. Because she's kind of upset that people view it as, like, a fake thing. She's like, no, it's real. It's in the Bible. You have to be scared of it. She's like, God's word authenticates the reality of witchcraft. Therefore, it is not mere superstition. So a lot of this is her trying to scare people into believing that witchcraft is actually – is an ongoing problem.

Yeah. She says that the familiar spirits of witches spoken of in the Bible are referred to in folk history as dwarves, fairies, trolls. I don't know what this one is. What's this? What's this? Kobolds. You don't know what a kobold is, Gavris? No, I don't.

Well, they're usually like a CR1 or less little monster, little bitty reptilian things often found in dungeons. If you've got a low-level party, you want to bring them up against, I mean, kobolds are one of the things that you could have them go up against. Personally- I have not encountered them in my D&D games. They're little lizard-type goblin things.

So those guys, dwarves, fairies, trolls, and other small spirits of northern folklore, they can be friendly, mischievous, or malignant. In folklore, they were purported as nature spirits. This is the other thing she really hammers down on, is that if you like nature, that means that you're actually a

satanist okay that scans which is pretty good that that does remind me of my in explore nature hail satan shirt which is my favorite shirt yeah that is mean that that you do that is a very good shirt it's pretty good so she she traces back the origin of magic to the fall of man at the beginning of human history as said in the book okay is that where we got magic that's what she says okay um she she says so basically the way she explains it is that you know like magic and this is something i actually kind of agree with it's like magic is the idea of like that you are kind of on your way to become god in some way um this is now wait you believe that all right we don't need to get into this. In terms of chaos magic, it's like you're trying to increase your own ability

to have power over your own life. That's kind of the idea. So what she says is that basically in the fall in Genesis, when Eve tried to eat the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil, this was her attempt to gain godlike power. tried to eat the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. Yeah, that's the fancy tree. This was her attempt to gain godlike power. Because God can see good and evil. At the time, man could only see good.

So when Eve ate the fruit, she was trying to become like God. She was taking agency over her existence, which is magic. And her fact of eating the fruit gave her the magic power to see good and evil, which is what we have now. So this is how she tracks back the origin of magic.'s a biblical she's obviously because you know she's a conservative baptist she is a biblical literalist she reads the the garden of eden as a literal historical tale not as like a piece of poetry or art meant to like symbolize things in culture like it was obviously written as yeah um okay yeah i mean yeah that scans there's a lot of a lot of misogyny in this book um not

from bill ye sorry not from dr bill sorry there is a lot of she she rails against feminism later on and there's a lot of hatred because like eve was the one that ate the fruit so it's the woman's fault like the woman is like the tempter of man it's always their fault that's that's very well tread evangelical ground although it is extra fun when it's always their fault. That's very well-tread evangelical ground, although it is extra fun when it's a woman who is hating on femininity for the crimes of Eve. This whole chapter is about witches, and witches are typically feminine.

Yeah. But she does say that there's like wizards and warlocks, but she just kind of ropes them all together for the purpose of the book. I searched a second ago, and I couldn't find any evidence that she wrote books about Harry Potter. Hmm. So that's fascinating.

Well, this was written in 2006. Yeah, she would have had time. And from what I've read, I have not seen Harry Potter mentioned in this so far. That's fascinating. Because, boy, that pissed off a lot of people who are otherwise very similar to her. Yeah, it sure did. Yeah. So, yeah.

Let's see. She is very concerned that Satanism and witchcraft is basically a reinvention of paganism. And she finds this to be incredibly disturbing and tying to a whole bunch of like, all of like the woo-woo spiritual stuff of the 90s, she's also very concerned about. She says,

millions are now involved in some manner of ancient magical practice and rites, ranging from walking on hot coals with no ill effect to poking knives through flesh without creating wounds, to reading from blind eye sockets, or from sighted eyes which have been masks, to magically filling decayed teeth with gold, which, I don't know, is that just dentistry? What is she referring

to? Yeah, that seems like just filling a tooth. I have parents who have gold fillings and stuff. A lot of people do. That doesn't, um, that's witchcraft. I don't think dentistry is witchcraft. Well, in a way that it makes money disappear. But also, I would compare most dentistry to more like armed robbery.

But I haven't had great dentist experiences. Yeah, I mean, I'm not a big dentist fan either. All dentists are bastards, would be my contention. So yeah, she says that basically the sign of the new uptick in magic around, this is around 2006, this is right after the Satanic Panic, the sign of the end times. Magic is the colossal revolt against God, whose satanic purpose is to instill in fallen men the desire to be a god. Did I say cool?

That sounds rad. Yeah, I mean, that's also the Mormon faith, more or less. I'm sure she has opinions about Mormons. Yeah, I'm sure she does. We're going to get to her opinions on the Irish later. Oh, good. Oh, good. Oh, fantastic.

Yeah, she has a lot of opinions. I bet she's real, real punchy towards the Papists. So she does break down the difference that she she sees between black magic white magic and what she calls a neutral magic um she says that the term black magic refers to the direct league with satan himself often involving an actual blood pact of allegiance so that she thinks that the black magic is when you directly involve satan okay and white magic is merely black magic in a in a in a mask. It may deceptively employ the names of Jesus Christ, God the Father, and the Holy Spirit magically, along with other Bible phrases.

I think I see where the Irish come in. And the Christian terminology. But this facade is covering its demonic character. So she thinks that even though they may use – so this is interesting because she complains here that white magic uses the names of God and Jesus in its magic. But later on in the book, she complains that no magic uses God's name. So that's a fun thing that we'll talk about in a bit. And then for neutral magic, she says, the devil shrouds himself with nature. He is referred to – he is –

Oh, boy. That's her take on Wicca, huh? He is revered as Mother Nature and worshipped and adored by witches under this deluding guise. Yeah, the delusion of, okay, great. So in neutral magic, Satan just dresses up as leaves and that's how, yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Wicca only gets one mention in this, actually.

Yeah, but she's clearly like, that's what she's talking about. I mean, she talks about a lot of, like, she she uses these terms very loosely she's got a lot of gradients yeah yeah a lot of gradients yeah uh she has a small section on magical ceremonies and symbolism and kind of actually lays out kind of how magic works in terms of like using like a like like this is like symbolic objects and incantation and calling upon powers, which is more like traditional magic. I find it more fun to call on fake characters because it's very silly,

which is more of a chaos magic thing. Because the more silly you get, I think the more fun it is. Then she does have a nice section on initiation rites and rituals, which gets into the really good satanic panic stuff. So she describes a coven of witches coming together to have sex with the devil,

usually maybe symbolically with a male leader of a cult or something. But then she says, when the initiation has been completed, the devil worshiper takes part in a parody of the sacrament, many times bringing in the bodies of children whom they have murdered. Oh, good. Yeah, that's the good shit.

That's the good shit. In America alone, there are over one million missing children at any given time. Many of these children who are never found or seen again are victims of satanically controlled perverts who do the grossest forms of evil. Of course.

But many more are the victims of witchcraft and incantations and other rites. Oh, that's great. These children who are being stolen at an astonishing rate each day may be stolen from unbelievers' homes, or they may be children conceived

by the witches themselves at regularly held sexual orgies. That's an old one, that witches are having orgy babies and not reporting them to the government so they can kill them. Yeah, the children are often offered up as sacrifice to the devil. In some ceremonies, the witches may boil the children's bodies, mix them with lobes and substances, or they may consume the children's bodies in the blood ritual parody of the Lord's Supper.

So that's fun. And I do like that this idea never went anywhere and is not a and is not an important part of the u.s's politics now no no no of course not nope um yeah you love to hear it that's pretty good that is that is that is fun yeah she she does have a small section on a pagan music magic religion and sorcery are some of the means used by the devil for the purpose of luring men away from the christian truth the heavy metal punk hip-hop and other such abuse the conflating the western and european world are okay yep nope nope yeah i don't think i have to say i do remember when punks destroyed christianity this actually gets quite more racist i'm not oh no go for it i'm not i i'm excited

it's counterpart of of the hypnotic trance inducing inducing drum rhythms employed throughout the horror world by the african nations oh yeah part of india oh boy through the millions of which the insidious and evil message of the devil inciting them to sexual lust and Satan worship. It is incredible that in 2006 she's doing the black people. Music is the devil. And she is also like black, which is very sad. Yeah, it's incredible.

Yeah, that's unfortunate. Yeah, unfortunate would be a word for it. Yeah. Well, is it time for an ad break? I'm not looking at the clock. Yeah, it's probably about time for an ad break. Well, do you know what else? Speaking of.

Yeah, there we go. Oh, oh boy. uh-huh yeah speaking of millions of missing children yeah maybe some of them are in these ads welcome i'm danny thrill won't you join me at the fire and dare enter? Nocturnal Tales from the Shadows, presented by iHeart and Sonora. An anthology of modern-day horror stories inspired by the legends of Latin America. From ghastly encounters with shapeshifters to bone-chilling brushes

with supernatural creatures. I know you. Take a trip and experience the horrors that have haunted Latin America since the beginning of time. Listen to Nocturnal Tales from the Shadows Latin America since the beginning of time. Listen to Nocturnal Tales from the Shadows as part of my Cultura podcast network,

available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We're back. Putting more children in the cauldron oh we're recording sorry um anyway back to back to reading this magnificent 200 page book by dr did you read all of it garrison i've read the first hundred pages because after that's about all you need it's just the same words rewritten again and again in different in different you need it's just the same words rewritten again and again in different in different combinations like it's just a lot of these it's just the same stuff yeah um so the next section is this is this is so i and again i'm skipping over a lot of stuff but this is like the rough this is the most fun sections of her stuff on magic which is what we

need um now we have her section called halloween satan's new year um she she starts by explaining which is celebrate eight major festivals or sabbats each year halloween is the primary annual festival commemorating satan's new year yeah she then goes on to explain that the sabbat is a parody of the holy sabbath of god now this is actually a really interesting kind of historical tidbit so yes the words uh sabbat in terms of witches does come from the Sabbath. Yeah, Shabbos and all that stuff. A bunch of words. This actually probably comes from the persecution of witches being heavily tied to anti-Semitism in the Middle Ages.

So the first witch hunting book was called The Hammer of the Witches. And it is – Yeah, the Malleus Maleficarum, right? And it is – large portions of which are plagiarized from a previous book called Hammer of the Jews in fact entire sections are copy and pasted but they just change the word

Jews to witch and you really had to put the effort into plagiarism back then because you're hand-in-hand doing that shit you're not like copying and pasting anything no you're doing the whole thing yourself this is also where like a lot of of the pointy hat witch stuff, a lot of the big nose, with a really big nose,

green oily skin, all this stuff kind of comes from anti-Semitic tropes because the persecution of Jews and anti-Semitism was heavily tied to the persecution of witches. Often they're the same things. So when they would do Sabbath, they would say they're they would do sabbath uh they would they would say like they're doing like a sabbat they're going to they're going to basically do like blood libel with children with the devil which is which is which is what a lot of witches are about like

finding children and stuff because it actually is tied to all the stuff now i'm not saying we have to cancel witchcraft which i have is totally fine you can do all this stuff it is really cool but the or a lot of the origins of witch hunting is tied to these anti-semitic tropes So anyway, she goes to describe different like pagan like festivals throughout the years With like you like you will and all this kind of stuff midsummer blah blah blah blah blah and the last one the eighth one It's October 31st or Halloween is the she calls the unholy satanic New Year or Halloween. She calls the unholy, satanic new year. She says

that the rites and ceremonies on which Halloween was originally observed had their origin among the Druids. In the course of time, there were added to them some of the rites particular to the Roman festival of Panama, which presided over their harvests. November 1st among the Druids was the

beginning of the year and the festival of the sun god. They lighted fires in honor of their false god. They believe that October 31st, the end of the old year, the lord of death, which she puts in a parenthesis, the devil. Oh, good. I'm really, again, very appreciative of how clear her writing is. So the lord of death gathered together all the souls of the dead who had been allowed to enter the body of another human being. The belief is that the root – this belief is the root of the false belief in reincarnation now i did not fact check any of this so i have no idea how how accurate these these claims are for

what she views as the origin of halloween but i think they're pretty funny um i know like there is halloween like halloween kind of traditions are there is like stuff around this time throughout a lot of like old pagan stuff like the modern notion of halloween is pretty pretty modern like the whole like trick-or-treating thing and all like the way we modernly think of halloween is pretty it's pretty new because i mean there was of course like all hallows day or like all saints day and the eve of which uh other people would do shenanigans uh which is what we currently have as halloween because it's the day before all saints day all saints Saints Day is November 1st. But like, you know, the modern notion of Halloween is not, it's not super old. So I'm not quite sure how tied these old harvest

festivals really are to our modern Halloween. That's something I could look into later. But I just picked up this book and I'm reading right from it because that's easier. So yeah. So she views Halloween now as a pagan holiday. This pagan festival, Halloween, is broadly celebrated throughout the Christian nations as a major holiday. In America, Halloween has become a kind of Saturnalia for children. A night in which the rules are suspended

and children venture out to demand treats and threaten reprisals against the stingy. Yeah, okay. I mean, that is a cooler way of looking at Halloween. That is a much cooler way. If it were literally the Saturnalia, children would actually take the role of the parents and make decisions for the family in demand.

Oh, man. What a nightmare. Parents would have to go to school. Kids would have to go to work. That would be pretty funny. That would actually be an incredible holiday. That would be a great holiday. So many people would die in plane crashes. It would be pretty funny. Especially if actually be an incredible holiday. That would be a great holiday. So many people would die

in plane crashes. It would be pretty funny. Especially if you enforced it. Like, you don't have a choice. You have to get on a plane. You are piloting the plane today and a bunch of other kids are getting on it

to go on work trips. And all the kids on air traffic control, they don't know what they're doing either. Forcing all of the soldiers out of the various countries we've put them in

and having like the children of special forces guys conduct raids in Namibia. Well, it is pretty easy for a kid to use an AK. It is. AR is even easier. Yeah, it would be fine, I think. A lot of people are not going to have very successful heart surgeries that day.

But it will be very funny in like a cosmic sense. Increasingly and alarmingly, this celebration is assuming dreadful expressions of evil and harmful acts are perpetuated against the children themselves in serious proportions. Okay. Maybe she meant weed or something. Oh, yeah. I didn't even think of that. Because that's like needles and grass. Yeah, I'm like, oh, no, grass. So, yeah, she does seem really really really really uh thrilled with this idea that the people are giving out

free drugs which man what a dream i wish um halloween like christmas is also highly commercialized and it's part of a major money-making event for the merchants okay raking in at the present time second second only to Christmas in that vein. Halloween is the satanic new year and is a celebration of the devil and he is using the world today to gain greater acceptance of the perversity as he continues to proclimate his doctrine of demons.

So that is fun. Then she has a very small section on old world Halloween traditions, which I'm not going to read tons of. Because, again, I don't know how verified these things are. But I am going to read. She goes on to talk about how the laws against witchcraft in the 1600s. I'm sure she was a big fan. She was.

She was. But I will read just the first sentence of the old world Halloween traditions section. Irish traditions. Devilish in origin. Yeah! Hear that, Irish? We're coming for you. Irish traditions.

Bring it on. Devilish in origin. Various methods of defining the future in Halloween were accepted as tradition. So that's really all I'm going to say. I just love the line, Irish traditions. Devilish in origin. Yeah, I mean, I think everyish person i know would agree with that that's really all you got to say yeah yeah oh man it is it is wow what a what a book it just

keeps going on she talks about like the basically like uh the people's different honestly this section's not even tons about halloween and more about different people's belief in witchcraft so like she goes through like all the laws against witchcraft in britain she goes against like she goes she she talks around the witch trials in america um saying that there were witches but she doesn't talk about all the like how many of them deserve to die yeah come on you coward yeah yeah uh it's it's pretty she she has a little bit of i i okay i'm actually going to read some of the stuff on America. Belief in witchcraft was common to the early settlers in America. The witches were charged with making waxen images of their victims

and causing their illnesses by sticking pins in the image or making them waste away by melting the images before the fire. This belief is held by the peoples of Africa, as well as other pagan people in widely varying civilizations and localities. The early settlers do not initiate this belief in America,

but found it already to be belief in the American Indians who populated this country. So, that's her little section on that, which is, I don't know, hashtag problematic? Yeah, I would call that slightly problematic. I would call that slightly problematic. You know't know hashtag problematic yeah i would i would call that slightly problematic i would call it slightly problem you know what's not problematic garrison the the the products and services that are gonna hopefully sell no candy to the kids we we guarantee

that less than a third of them are responsible for the disappearance of a million children million million children that's the Behind the Bastards guarantee. Less than a third of our sponsors are responsible. Who knows how many are undocumented, too? Well, yeah. The witches are making them themselves. It's possibly much more. It's likely much more. But anyway, here's the ads.

Here's the ads. Welcome. I'm Danny Thrill. Won't you join me at the fire and dare enter? Nocturnum, Tales from the Shadows, presented by iHeart and Sonora. An anthology of modern day horror stories inspired by the legends of Latin America. From ghastly encounters with shapeshifters to bone-chilling brushes with supernatural creatures.

Take a trip and experience the horrors that have haunted Latin America since the beginning of time. Listen to Nocturnal Tales from the Shadows. As part of my Cultura podcast network. Available on the iHeartRadio app. Apple Podcasts. Or wherever you get your podcasts. Ah, we're back. We are. All right. Bring it home, Garr all right bring it home garrison bring it home so yeah uh she she does mention that the devil likes to withhold the fact of existence of witchcraft like the devil

likes to hide it so most people kind of live in the dark um she says although the imps which frolic on halloween now are small children raping on doors and gleefully receiving treats wrapping on doors wrapping on doors not raping on doors that's a very different very different holiday well who knows that might be canadian thanksgiving i don't know that's canadian halloween the night which was formally accepted as the time when witches met and demons in the form of ghosts and ghouls were likely to wander about has come to be regarded as a time of merrymaking and frolic. The majority of people are so engaged and are unaware of the satanic consultation of the magic oracles and the covens and groves on this night. Covens.

Covens? Covens. I say covens. That's not how you say it. Well, that's how I say it you just you just got covet on the brain coven coven is what you call a coven that meets during covet because they're not properly socially distancing all right all right there we go but basically she thinks that basically these all of the witches and magic doers are meeting all these ghouls on halloween and people

trick-or-treating are unaware of this. The ghouls flooding the streets. And she's very extremely concerned that children might like walk in on a ceremony and then get murdered. It is very funny when you realize like how isolated these people are from the real world because they've never just like stepped outside during Halloween. Not really. Like especially

I mean Halloween in 2006. I was 18 then so maybe I'm wrong but I don't think it was, it wasn't huge then. No. Like, it's gotten kind of smaller every year. The biggest fear back then was, like, traffic accidents. Yeah, that's always the biggest. That's, like, the number one thing every year.

Yeah. Thinking back on it, my parents shouldn't have let me be a ninja as often as they did, but I made it through. Again, so, like, we're saying so many of the same words again because that's what most of the book is, but Halloween, Satan's New Year, Halloween has a long and dark history of devilish traditions

which has survived both Christianity and the science for 2,000 years. It is to be considered the chief festival for the worship of the devil, which begins his new year. Halloween and witchcraft are the means by which the devil seeks to reintroduce the worship of old false gods by a synthesis of polytheism and feminism.

Yeah. So that's what Halloween is. Yeah, polytheism and feminism. Yeah. Two sides of the same devil coin. I love to worship multiple gods and respect women. Just really, that's my way to spend a night with my ghoul friends.

Yeah. Incredible. There's also a real real here's a real here's a real good quote um there is no question of the existence of modern witchcraft it has been admitted it has been admitted of by thousands upon thousands worldwide and growing rapidly in the western countries particularly america the word of god makes it undeniably clear that witchcraft is real it has existed at least 6 000 years and it still exists today oh good yeah that's good 6 000 years going good good for happy 6 000 i just like that she adds on that it's a little bit around for all these 6 000 happy 6 000 6 000 years witchcraft on

i'm guessing because it's the devil's new year this is also the birthday of witchcraft i mean also just the birthday of the world because if the world as we know it was born when Eve ate the fruit and Adam and Eve went into the greater world, if that's like the birth of dawn, witchcraft's been here since the very beginning. Well, since the beginning of like the fallen world, because you have to assume

that they had a hundred years or so beforehand. It's real unclear. It depends on what denomination you're in and what kind of theological viewpoint you have on whether there were people outside the garden. There are people who believe that. Some people just don't. That is up for debate among different congregations. Yeah. Yeah. And the other thing that she's really concerned with is that witchcraft is making more people have sex. Because she thinks that most of witchcraft

is practicing sexual orgies on, quote, every continent of the world. And that's what black mass is to her. Okay. So she is very concerned. I mean, there's are, and sometimes in black mass is sexual elements to them.

I mean, I hope so. Yeah. That does sound much better. But she thinks that that's another one of the main catalysts of her being fearful of paganism and witchcraft is that it's making more people have sex. And again, she reiterates that this is just a new form of paganism, saying that Satan's current day revival of paganism is a sure sign of Christ's second coming. And it's pretty good and oh yeah this is the section where she where she complains that magic doesn't use the bible even though previously she said that white magic does because that some some witches draw on other false religions such as the kabbalah

sufism or various eastern religions but never the holy bible the word of god or is employed in their beliefs or practices except in a paradoxical counterfeit imaginative magic rites and rituals performed in the covens, in the initiation of the converts and their celebrations of Halloween and other satanic sabbats. So, that's what she thinks. I mean, but honestly, like- Honestly, it might be sabbat, but- I'm pretty sure it's sabbat.

Because it's all, like, it's Shabbos, it's the Sabbath, it's the Sabbath, whatever. I think it's fine. I've heard Coven and Sabbat in the stuff that I've watched. All right. All right. Let's have a debate. Everyone at – no, don't. Don't do that.

She also claims that – this is very exciting. Several universities in America offer a bachelor's degree in magic, which I was unaware of. Oh, I would love a bachelor's degree in magic. I was unaware oh i would love a bachelor's degree in magic unaware oh wow because this will read this will this will make me consider going to college now a bachelor's degree is that a ba or is that a bs i like is that like is it a bachelor of arts or of science it really that's a that's a key question about how the school views magic magic is both an art and a science so yeah well Yeah, well, that's why I'm wondering. She doesn't say.

She doesn't say what university she claims does this. I mean, I've always wanted to open a witchcraft store, so I may go back to college and get a BA or a BS in witchcraft along with my MFA. Or not my MFA, my, what's the business thing? What are they? I don't know. Fill it in with the acronym for the business thing? What are they? I don't know. Fill it in with the acronym for the business degree,

whatever you get. I don't know. I dropped out of college. Garrison hasn't gone. I went to film school. That doesn't count, though. No, it doesn't. It absolutely does not.

Yeah, and then in this last section, she really ties modern witchcraft to the rise of feminism, specifically starting in the 60s. She says the preeminence of the goddess in witchcraft has made it attractive to some feminists. In 1968, Witch, the women's international terrorist conspiracy from hell, was founded as a political protest group who purportedly justified their name as mere jest. Oh, it is. What a good name. Yeah. That's quite an exciting acronym.

Back when we could have fun in activism. That does sound amazing. Many of the members of this feminist movement are unaware of the cultural movement within the political, and many more are entirely unaware of the spiritualist movement within the cultural moment. So, a whole bunch of weird stuff around how witches are using political feminism to inject cultural feminism, to inject cultural witchcraft into the mainstream. This is all what the goal of feminism is. So, yeah, and she has this whole whole paragraph called Feminist Witches. Feminist witchcraft is at present the most rapidly growing

segment in the witchcraft revival, and it is from the spiritual core at the heart of the feminist movement that the political and philosophical women's rights tenets as a whole emerge. To name one such tenant, the right to abortion, or more correctly one such tenant the right to abortion. Or, more correctly phrased, the right to murder children not yet born. This coincides with the witch's present ritual practice of murdering children already born. So she thinks that abortion is just

a way for witches to speed up the process. Just killing more babies to immanentize the eschaton. To speed up the ritual process, yeah. That's her main bomb at the end. To speed up the ritual process. Yeah. That is what, that is her, that's her main bomb at the end. For sure. That sounds, that sounds accurate. Yeah.

She does, just have a great section describing the different tools which is used. An athleem, a phallic penis symbol of the liberated, unbridled, unlawful sex represents the power of self-will. It's pretty, pretty good. That is good. Yeah. Sexual symbols are common in witchcraft, and witches are unrepressed by God's moral law in their sexuality. Their use of sex symbols is rooted in paganism. So again, she's very scared that people are having sex and enjoying it.

Specifically women. She's very scared that women are having sex and enjoying it. Specifically women. She's very scared that women are having sex and enjoying it. That sounds right. I mean, I hate it when the people pushing this line are themselves women, but it does. I mean, that's a huge part of the evangelical propaganda movement.

Yeah. See a bunch of shit Margaret Atwood wrote, you know, now she gets to describe some, some of the coolest parts here. A typical witches Sabbath celebration will have a sky clad, parenthesis, nude, parenthesis, wrote you know now she gets to describe some some of the coolest parts here a typical witch's sabbath celebration will have a sky clad parenthesis nude parenthesis which is gathered in an isolated place a grove of trees if possible around an altar which holds an icon or statuary of a false goddess and

or gods and candles for fire a chalice for water or wine, a container of salt, and a container for earth rather than the bread, and a sword or a wand, which sounds amazing to just have a whole bunch of naked witches in the forest around a ritual altar fire. This sounds like the best time ever. It does sound like a good Saturday night. This does sound like a good Saturday night. Well, maybe even a Friday. Who knows?

We can get wild. So yeah, she goes in to describe what she thinks magical rituals are and different things that she could do. Again, she is very concerned. Ritual sex is engaged in to intensify the magical power raised in the cone of power through the combined wills of the coven witches. The cone of power is symbolized with a cone-shaped hat seen in typical pictures of witches in literature and paintings.

Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? No. Are you fucking kidding me? It's right there. It's in the book. Because nobody wearing one of those hats has ever gotten fucked. I feel confident. Hey, I wore that hat.

All right, let's move forward, Garrison. That's not fair. Allegedly. Let's move forward. The cone of power. Yeah, the cone of Power is incredible. After raising and- It is phallic, so it must be for fucking.

After the raising and release of the Cone of Power, a ritual coven communication with cakes and wine, which the priestess or priest has consecrated by dipping into the chalice and touching the cakes with other unholy tools, are passed on from a kiss from the priestess to the priest. Basically, this just sounds like a fun time. Yeah, but I do love The Cone of Power, which I've not read in any other magic book.

No, I have not ever heard of that before. I've read a decent amount. That seems like pure her. And I've never heard of The Cone of Power? Yeah, that feels like pure her. That feels like somebody who's deeply sexually frustrated seeing a hat that's kind of shaped like a dick and being like, that's gotta be a penis! Oh, poor lady. I'm so sorry for her.

She has a small section on Satanism, particularly the Ayn Rand version of Satanism. Sure. So I'm not even going to get into that. I find that boring and it doesn't matter. And she even says that these Satanists don't believe in an actual devil. Oh, good. Okay. Well, that's actually a little bit more nuanced than I expected from her. They just use Satan and Lucifer as a

personification of evil. So I'm not even going to bother with this section because it's just talking about the dumb Ayn Rand version of Satanism and I don't care about that. If you like it, I mean, whatever. It has anarchist-y stuff, kind of, but it's also very Randian and it has a lot of not great but it's also very randy and and it has it has a lot of like not great stuff either i don't i i it's fine it all it all is more effort

than i want to put into thinking about yep the universe and then i think i think this this could be i think this is our last our last paragraph here we go good oh good this section is called titled the end of the witches oh no witches are children of the devil the end of the Witches. Oh, no. Witches are children of the devil. The End of the Witches. Sorry. The End of the Witches revelry before their idolatrous altars at their depraved sabbats, where they eat and drink and play their gross music and sing and dance naked and shameless and corrupt and defile themselves and desecrate God's holy Sabbath shall surely be accomplished by God who will put them, who will put them to death and cut off their souls forever.

Yeah. From among his children. So that's, that's the end of the witches, everybody. We're going to be dancing naked, shamelessly, like having like an undeniably good time being able to dance naked dance naked in a group without shame, listening to gross music and singing.

What a time. Sounds like the ideal weekend. And then God will put us to death. I mean, that does sound a little bit like our last weekend, but it was very cold, so people were wearing lots of clothing. Yeah. I was very happy with the weather. That is most of the good parts of the book. Again, it gets 200 pages.

Yeah, no, it's a nice breezy read. Grab it this weekend. It's only 10 bucks on Amazon. Wow, what a deal. What a steal. Yeah, and it is fun that she does, there is one section where she outlines what all she thinks magic is,

all of the different groups. She puts them into a really nice little package but i i don't think i can find that because again there's 200 pages and i did not mark off that section but i think i think we decently got the gist of the the main main parts of this book um again most of it is just her talking about jesus yeah that sounds right and and and the christian soul um But the one Witches of Endor section is pretty good and honestly worth the read.

Well, I hope- That is my first book report of where it could happen here. All of you- Satan's New Year. Beloved children, enjoy this book and are properly warned

about the dangers of witchcraft, which is coming to make your children have a pretty rad time. You're gonna dance in the woods listening to gross music. So I hope everyone on this Halloween danced in the woods listening to gross music.

I hope those of you who climactically could did so naked. I hope none of you got hit by cars while dressed as ninjas. And I also hope that most of you weren't out trick-or-treating because I think the average age of our listeners is sometime in the mid-20s. Yeah. That would be a little bit odd. That's a little awkward. A little bit weird.

But hey, whatever. It's your life. Do your thing. Do your thing. Hello, everyone. Garrison here. Just going to be adding in one quick correction for our Halloween Satan's New Year episode. So towards the end, we made some assumptions about the cone cone of power which were apparently uh incorrect so the cone of power does actually seem to be a thing inside ritual magic um but uh particularly wicca

so i'm not super familiar with wicca this is not this is not my system of choice so i wasn't aware that this is actually a thing but apparently apparently it is it is a method for centering or directing or like raising energy um what it is it is less tied to a method for centering or directing or, like, raising energy. It is less tied to the witch's hat, though. So that part is more made up. I cannot find much tying the cone of power directly to, like, the cone-shaped witch's hats. This is mainly an invention of Dr. Bilyeu, at least from what I can tell. but apologies for assuming that the cone of power was completely made up and when in fact it is a part of wicca so sorry to the wiccans and the more proper witches for that for that uh for that gross assumption on mine and robert's part

anyway this wraps up our spooky week of content. I hope you had a good Halloween. This episode should be releasing on Halloween itself. So I hope you are having or had a good time. And hopefully you were able to celebrate Halloween Satan style, just like it was designed to. So goodbye, everybody. See you on the other side. And hopefully we can do spooky week again next year goodbye

it could happen here is a production of cool zone media for more podcasts from cool zone media visit our website coolzonemedia.com or check us out on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts you You can find sources for It Could Happen Here updated monthly at coolzonemedia.com slash sources. Thanks for listening. You should probably keep your lights on for Nocturnal Tales from the Shadow. Join me, Danny Trails, and step into the flames of right. An anthology podcast of modern day horror stories inspired by the most terrifying legends and lore of Latin America. Listen to Nocturnal on the iHeartRadio app,

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