It Could Happen Here - No Golf No Masters: Celebrating Our Ungovernable Peccary Friends

Episode Date: August 17, 2026

James talks with Molly Conger about the javelina and their installable appetite for golf courses. Sources: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65x0RvhJNa8  https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2007/nov/05/conservation.sciencenews    https://zoologicalbulletin.de/BzB_Volumes/Volume_56_1_2/049_054_BzB56_1_2_Moraves_Jiri_and_B%C3%B6hme_Wolfgang.pdf   https://www.azgfd.com/wildlife-conservation/living-with-wildlife/living-with-javelina/   https://content.civicplus.com/api/assets/8e8abbf4-6775-4575-9a10-fedacb7cb2c1 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pasto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Craved Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.com for details and to check availability.

Bell, connection is everything. So media. Hello, and welcome to Natural Causes. I am Dr. James Stout, and this is my new podcast about going outside, as well as the politics and practicalities behind it. We've got two episodes coming out today for our first week, but after that we'll have one episode every Monday. This episode is a fun little chatty episode with myself and Molly. We're going to talk about Havillina, our friends who are not pigs, and their disrespect for golf courses, because one of the beliefs of this show is no golf, no masters.

Golf is an affront to God, and we're against it. But we also want to do some more serious stuff. I think there's a need for serious unabashed journalism in the outdoor space and in the ag space. So along with this episode, you'll also find another one where we talk about cyclospora, which is a diarrhea parasite affecting the Midwest right now. And we talk about what it can tell us about our food chain. The giant companies are dominated and labor rights for agricultural workers, both in the United States and elsewhere.

Today I am very lucky to be joined by Molly Conger, the internet's favorite person who learns about animals. Hi, Molly. I'm so excited to hear about not a pig. It's not a pig. That's the only thing I know. Not a pig. Good. Well, that's a great place because you're coming from a place of more understanding than like most people.

I feel like today, Molly, we're going to talk about havalina. Do you know what they are if they're not a pig? They're a little friend that's kind of evil. A little friend. Yeah. Well, they're evil in a good way. They're like evil for good. I love that they look like they have like little tiny high heels on.

They're like, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip. Yeah. Have you ever seen them at like full speed? I've never seen one in person. Oh, it's a fucking sight. So like I've spent a lot of my life in Arizona, like Tucson, Phoenix, Autumn and Yaki territory. And I used to ride my bicycle a lot. That was my job.

So I'd be riding out there on the dirt roads. And the amount of times a Havelina will just pick up next to you. And they are just booking it. It's like a coffee table. It's just moving. Because they're not an aerodynamic animal, right? And their head is vastly disproportionate compared to their body. But they can carry some speed.

I hit one once on my bicycle. That was an ugly day. They rub their little teeth together because they have two vertical teeth top and bottom. And they like rub them as a sort of intimidating tactic. That was intimidating. Yeah, I was intimidated, yeah. First, I didn't really know what had happened, right? Because one minute I'm running along and saying I'm on the ground

and here's this peckery coming towards me. The other thing to know about them is they fucking stink. What you'll hear people say a lot about Havillino is they have a second asshole. Those people are wrong. Monty's face. Is it a stink situation? Yes. It's a musk.

I think the technical term is a musk gland. Like a sexual musk. Yeah. What a revolting. Sorry, it is funny that Elon Musk's last name is also the same name for the stink gland. The stink on the not pig? Yeah, on the not pig. Exactly.

But yeah, they do have a stink gland. It's kind of up on their back, and they will use that to communicate danger to other members of their group. And is it just boys or do boys and girls have the stink gland? I think it's a unisex sin gland. Okay, good for them. Yeah, they're very equal opportunities like that.

Yeah, everyone stinks. They've rubbed their scent on their territory, and that's how they know who's around, right? They're walking around, they're going, sniff, sniff, Keith's been around here. You know, he's doing fine. They have terrible eyesight, so they rely a lot on smell.

but maybe that leads to the bicycle Havillina interactions. I know they're not pigs, so they don't probably share a wild pig's hostility towards the bicycle. Yeah, I mean, they were not, they were really actively hostile. I think what happened in this case was the Havillina thought it could make it across. And it, to use the George Bushism, it misundercimated my speed. And so I hit the Havillina, right, lose the front wheel, straight over the handlebars. Havillina is now like, what the fuck?

I'm now very confused. I'm lying on the ground and it starts going with its little teeth and smelling. It's a real full sensory experience. You've got sight, sound, smell, pain. Where did they come from? So, that is a good question. Are they supposed to live in Arizona? Well, supposed is an interesting term to use with animals and where they live, right? Like, were they born there? These particular peccaries were born in Arizona, yes.

They've been in the Americas for longer than people from Europe have. So it's not like a Hawaiian mongoose situation. No, no, it isn't like an Axis deer, like the pigs in Hawaii, right? Ferrell pigs in Texas is probably the best example, right? Like of an invasive species which is replicating at an unsustainably high rate. 30 to 50 every three to five minutes. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's what we learn from Jamie Loftus is bog guys.

I propose that there are people in Texas who make a lot of money from the hunting of pigs and even though they know they're invasive species and a harmful species, they would also be sad if they went away because they make a lot of money from people in helicopter shooting pigs with night vision. From a helicopter. That is how, like, if the government wants to eradicate something, that's how it goes about doing it for the most part, right? Like, we had wild pigs here.

Like, air strikes on the wild hogs. The person is using a regular rifle in the helicopter. They're not like using like a mini gun. Right, but it's not like the most dangerous game. Just get down there on the ground and follow it around like a real man. Yeah, I think part of the value proposition for that kind of hunter is shooting a gun out of a helicopter. Right, you're just a little boy who wants a helicopter, right? Grow up.

That is a, yeah, that is an experience that has previously been unavailable to people outside of call of duty or military service. And along that continuum, if you want to find the big point, I think it's shooting pigs. from a helicopter. It's not my idea of fair chase. I'll say it that way. It's not honorable, but if it's that or Rhodesia, shoot the pig. Yeah, sure. Yeah, there's a pipeline that could have gone in a different direction. So they live in like South and Central America. They have significant populations in Texas and, of course, in Arizona, right? The reason we see them so much is because they have adapted to live alongside people. They're like a Karen, right? They love a suburb. As we're going to find out, they love a lawn. They fucking hate a golf course, which is a

stance I share with them. Fuck them up, little guys. Yeah, I love to see it every time. I love to see a golf course losing, like period. Could be natural disaster, could be pigs. I just like, I love to see a golf course destroyed. Is it the little high heels that are tearing it up or are they like disrespecting their surroundings? Yeah, they're very, they're getting in there with the snout. This is a podcast, right? And it's an audio medium. So what people can't see is that with my neck and head. I'm making a sort of... Like a truffle pig. Yeah, like a truffle pig. But they're not pigs. Yeah, yeah, no. This is a golf peckery. Different deal. They have evolved, right, to find water in places where there is not water. Like Arizona. Like Arizona. Yeah. Oh, all the water is under the

golf course. No wonder they're there. Yeah, yeah, all the water is in the golf course. We're going to talk about water and golf a little bit. I want to do a little bit more peckery biology, I guess, first. They aren't really great for farming because they take too long to reach sexual maturity. So that's one of the things distinguishes them from your pig, right? Are people eating them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. People eat them. Yeah, yeah. Their leather is actually really expensive.

Like, if you want to drop four figures on a pair of gloves, they might be made from a peckery, from a havelina. Are they, like, super soft? I think they are. I think they're super flexible. They have a very distinct, like, a little spotty situation going on. Like, you could see, you would know if you saw a havalina glove, if you were in the No, if you're a leather understander, game would recognize game, I think, in that scenario,

literal game. They are managed as gain in Arizona. So people can hunt them and people do eat them. You'd probably have to be pretty careful in the skinning and quartering process going around those musclans, but that's the same with any animal that has those. So unlike pigs, right, they take longer to reach sexual maturity, and that means that they're not reproducing at that crazy-ass rate. And pigs are great for farming, right? They grow super fast, they reproduce super fast, they are an excellent machine for turning vegetables into meat. And if that is what you're looking at doing, then the pig is going to be a better option for you. But there is evidence that some people have kept them at some points in human history as a little semi-domestic swine. And apparently some folks who live in the Amazon rainforest still do.

They'll bring them into the town there to live amongst of people. They don't really eat grass. I think people think when they're fucking up a golf course, they're not. I think partially they're doing it for the love of the game. but also they're looking for water, right? They do love to eat things like mesquite, prickly pears, acorns. They really do well in overgrazed and kind of more barren areas, I guess. So, like, they're not competing with cattle.

These aren't areas of public land or grazing land where you would graze cattle necessarily, right? So no wonder they're dominating Arizona. Oh, yeah. They're crushing it out there in Arizona. They do love water. and they do love shade because they're a desert animal, right? So they're like, okay, they're sea water. They're like, I've got to get some of that shit.

So one thing they do enjoy is swimming pools. Oh, no. Doing a suburban neighborhood. Yeah, yeah. And they travel in packs. So you just go in your yard and there's like 17 of them in your pool? What do you do? Squadrons.

Yeah, it's squadron of Havelina. I've never seen them swim. It's a drinking situation when they come to the pool. I don't know if they can. If you've got a video of Havelina swimming, I'd love to see it. I'm going to be Googling this. Yeah, okay. I would see them. I'd stay out with a buddy who was kind of outside of Tucson. He had a pool and I'd see the little Havillina come in and have a little sip, sip from the pool.

They'll fuck up an irrigation hose in the absence of a pool too. Like if they see one, right, they make, I don't know if they can hear the water or what, but they get in there and they'll gnaw it up, get the water out that way. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pasto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Craved Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit.

Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. So talking of irrigation, it's time to talk about golf. Do you remember the genesis of the Havillina hate golf moment? I don't think I do. I'm imagining all the videos I've seen of them just like tippy tapping down a suburban street. Yeah, there's a good video of one in Tucson and it's sending it. Like it's a full speed and it's pretty impressive and people have put various music soundtracks behind it and they're all very funny.

This began because let me share this with you. So I'm just going to read it out for the benefit of the listeners at home. Come along with me on my carnage, parentheses, I mean course check this morning. Oh, my God. Yeah. It looks like somebody, like, used a rototiller. Yeah, no, they'll fuck it up. Like, it does look like a rotovator went through there.

Yeah. And it's everywhere along this golf course. Just hits. Good for them. I wish they were still there. I would love to see them doing it. Yeah. Unfortunately, for us, unfortunately for M-K-C-Turf, that's T-U-R-S.

to be clear. I'm not aware of this person. There's a transphobe or not. I think she just loves grass, turf, right? Oh, Molly, she fucking loves grass. Let me tell you, I found an hour and 17 minute long podcast, a tiger turf talk in which she gives an interview about grass. As someone with an intense special interest that is difficult for others, I feel for her, but also, I don't know about all that girl. I want you to just listen to the first 10 seconds Tiger Turf Talk

With Drew Miller Oh this is intense Yeah Tiger Turf I learned a lot Listening to this podcast Molly Did you listen to the whole hour Uh hour and 17 minutes, yes

Wow I learned a lot Turf Square is relentless sometimes It's like guys Same team I come from a country where grass Just grows by itself Now evidently there is

Specialist forms of grass There is a prolonged clip of her describing the damage. If I could train them, they'd be amazing sod cutters because they roll the sod. Like, a lot of the times you'll walk by and there'll be like a four or five foot section completely rolled over. So they chomp it up a little bit with their teeth and then they nose under it and push it. It just becomes so mentally draining when you fix the same fairway for the 10th day in a row.

And it's like, why am I even doing this? Just absolutely destroyed by the Havilinas. Yeah, yeah. I think she went to war with the Havilinas and lost. Like Havillina's 100 MKC turf zero. Yeah. She tried to use million scovil unit like chili oil. We bought this million scovil unit chili oil

and we put it in the sprayers and we were spraying it on the fairways. Yeah, you did. We're putting some Carolina Reaper on. Let me tell you how fun that was. Everyone's eyes are watering. Carolina Reaper. I'm like Carolina Reaper your ass out of here. Unfortunately for me, the pigs liked it.

They just didn't even care. Oh, does that deter them? How do they feel about spicy food? Apparently they don't give a shit. They're South American. Yeah, if they come from the place the chili comes from. I use chili powder mixed with vegetable oil on my bird seed to keep the squirrels away from it, and that seems to be effective.

But a squirrel is a little bitch compared to this guy. Yeah, squirrels ain't got shit on a havalina. I use it for rats, possums, and raccoons, and all the other little creatures that love to come and eat my chicken food. It also makes a yokes, more kind of orangey yellow, which is nice, like a little redness to them. It's fun. Exotic. Let's talk about fucking golf, shall we? Golf is a scourge on humanity.

Especially in Arizona. It should be against the law. Yeah. If we're going to have a state and we're going to have a government and that state is going to retain the capacity to do violence, I would like to see them direct that towards golf. State monopoly on violence against golfers. Yeah. Like, if we're going to do it, we should, we should defend something which is objectively in the public interest. which is not having golf. It's just an enormous amount of land for a couple of guys to fuck around on and an insane amount of water and a lot of toxic chemicals. There are more golf courses than the United States than any other country in the world. Why?

It's hard to say, it's a very American thing. I think it's this idea, right, that comes when you steal a large volume of land, there is a limited space. I just want to do the least useful stuff imaginable. It's like conspicuous land consumption. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me be flagrantly silly with a land and water. Some more golf stats. There are only three countries on the planet with more golf courses and Florida.

The United States has 16,000 golf courses, 42% of the global total of golf courses. Who's playing all this golf? I think we could probably pick out a certain demographic group of people who are dominating in golf participation. Everything's gender, right? Everything's gender. Men are just afraid to say they want to hang out.

Like they crave companionship. They just want to be dudes chilling. I played golf once in my life, actually, I guess. I went to one of those driving ranges. Went with my dad. It was hot, sweaty, one of the rare hot days in the United Kingdom. I let go of the golf club. Oh, you're not supposed to do that.

You're supposed to hang on to that. No, you're not supposed to do that. It went through the roof. I'm sure they're insured. Yeah, it's fine. And also, fuck the golf man. Yeah, you can't do a crime against golf. because golf is bad.

The water, right? The water use of golf courses is something that will never not make me bad. I found some data from the Pima County Board of Supervisors, I think. Famously wet location. Pima County, one of those places where you think about, it thinks swampy, watery.

Like a rainforest. Yeah, a real grass habitat. 5.5,000 acre feet of year of water in Pima County used for golf. One third of it comes from groundwater. That's 2020. number, so it might have gone up. That equates to more than 2,700 Olympic-sized swimming pools. So it's about 900 swimming pools getting pulled from groundwater, which is not like recycled water,

right? That is draining from a resource that is finite and that we are very much, we need to use more carefully, I guess. Have we considered pitting the golf courses against the data centers? One of the data center talking points was that data centers use less water than golf. Because Loudoun County has unlimited golf courses and unlimited data centers, and I think they should fight. I would love to see, I'd love to see this be a zero-sum game. I would love to see a set amount of water, much less than they're using now, portioned off, and then we can leave them to it. Right? We can let them fight.

That would be my compromise solution. So let's talk about a havalina and golf. The golf course isn't being destroyed by havalina. The golf course is destroying the place where the havalina live. They're just outside. Yeah. They're out there all the time. No one has to irrigate them.

They have been digging up, juicid little roots for water, drinking from cattle troughs and pools, and thriving in this environment for much, much longer than golf. I think these fancy ladies are just being responsible stewards of the environment. Yeah.

If Edward Abbey was still alive, I think he would stand with a havelina unless some of his more gross opinions got in the way, which they far too often did for Edward Abbey. Hey, why is one of the pictures when I Google havalina a pizza? Oh, I don't know.

Is this havelina meat? It could be. I would imagine that the fat on a havelina is pretty gamey, and if you wouldn't want to make it into like a sausage situation. Oh yeah, it looks like sort of like a brisket type texture and it's on top of a pizza. Why is that one of the top pictures of this animal? Why would you put it on a pizza? Treat it with respect. One Italian listener has now left the podcast. It seems to me pretty fucking stupid, I guess, to build this big moist fairway in the middle of havelina's habitat and not expect the havalina to use it. I mean, it's a pie on the window still. You're going to draw people with the smell of the pie. With the pie.

And then you'll say the pie is only for golfers. And then they will say, watch me. It's so incredibly silly to expect the Havolina to respect the private property of your gated community or golf course. Like the detachment from the way the world fucking works that makes you think that a Havolina, right, this animal which has learned to thrive, often at the Worldland Urban Interface,

by finding water is not going to come to this thing which you are pouring all of our water into it. I don't know. It boggles the mind, I guess, that people didn't expect this. I mean, I'm barely respecting their private property and I can read and be arrested. Yeah, the Havolina... They can't read or be arrested. Why would they?

They're controlled as a game animal, so not like as like vermin, right? So they can't just go out and shoot them all. You'd have to apply in the lottery, get your Havillina tag, and then hunt them. during the Havolina season. Oh, only in season.

Yep, they have a season. So if they're just running rampant, there's nothing you can do. You just have to watch and suffer. That rocks. Yeah, yeah. They end up trying to make them go away with things like their chili oil,

with things like... Shaking a can of rocks. Yeah, putting up a sign, it says, get off my lawn. You know, like talking about the Vietnam War. I don't know what they do to make them go away. They've tried electric fences, I'm sure. Pigs love to disrespect a fence,

so that would surprise me. The thing is people have lived with Havolina for a very long time. In Central and South America, again, before European colonizers came here, people in Havolina lived here. Very happily. I read a little bit about their domestication. I don't want anyone to go and try and domesticate Havolina.

Animal doesn't have to be cute for you to care about it, for it to have a right to exist on its landscape, right? I think this is a mistake people make. I see it a lot with marine mammals. People like, oh, that seal is cute. We shouldn't hurt it. Like sea lions are not cute. I know sea lions aren't seals.

Sealions are fucking evil. Look at their teeth. There's a reason they're called lions. If you're going in the water, like if you're spearfishing or something, like they will harass the shit out of you. But like think, they have a right to exist there. There's not many wild animals you should really be touching. I mean, even the prairie dogs have the plague.

Yeah, I wouldn't be touching a prairie dog like on the regular. Behind every night spent making the kids lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with craved Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a month.

Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.orgia for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. The last thing I want to get into, Miley, is the mysterious fourth type of peckery, the rarest kind of peckery. So generally, there are understood to be three peckery species, right? I didn't know that. Yeah.

So a Havolina is a collared peckery. Okay, because they got that kind of like rough, yeah, cute. Yeah, they look like a Shakespearean guy. I mean, vaguely, I suppose. It's not a close resemblance. You've got the white-lit peckery and the Chacoan peckery as well. Oh, who's he? The Chacoan peckery.

He lives further south. He looks like a deformed tiny buffalo. That's so cute. It's after a fashion, I guess. Yeah, like a buffalo pig. Like if Alf was a tiny buffalo. They do have a distinct Alf vibe. I don't know what species Alf is supposed to be, actually. Maybe Alf is a peckery. He's from space, right? Oh, he's from space. Well, space peckery. That's the secret fourth peckery. That's, no, the secret's fourth peckery. To my knowledge, is not from space. It is the giant peckery. How big is it? It's pretty big.

Oh, from like back when sloths were as big as an elephant. Yeah, it's not quite that big. Yeah, it's not like a giant sloths, short-faced bear situation. Don't email me. They weren't as big as an elephant, but they were really big, okay? They were really big. I've seen it at the museum. Its Latin name is Peckery Maximus, which I think is pretty sick.

Fair. He's the biggest one. Yep, they could make a film about him. So they reckon he weighs about 50 kilos. That's like 110 pounds? Yeah, about 110 pounds. Which is pretty big. It's much bigger than your regular peccary, right?

Like, your regular peckery is going to be like maybe two-thirds of that, if I had to guess. Yeah, you wouldn't want to fight him on a bike. No, yeah, if you hate him on a bike, you'd probably break a bike or part of yourself. It was quote-unquote identified by a Dutch biologist. I think this is one of those things that most of us going to realize. It's like the Dutch guy wasn't the first guy to see it, right? The two people who live there, they call it the great peckery that lives in pairs.

Oh, it still exists. This isn't like an ancient creature? No, no, this is a, well, it is a debated topic whether this is a different type of peckery or just a particularly... Or is it just one really fat one that people see sometimes? Yeah, exactly. Like, is he just the thickest peckery

and he walks around on his own? Because presumably, like, no one wants to share food with him. Oh, he won't share food with anyone. There is some variance, right, within any species, right? So perhaps this guy just happens to be particularly large. It's distinguished from the other peckeries which walk around in groups. I guess this one, it seems to be only walk around in pairs or on its own.

So, like, is this a separate kind of animal, or is this a situation where it's a whole species of people my size and one guy is Shaquille O'Neal? Yeah. Is this a natural variant within the broad peckery universe, or is this a completely different peckery, up for debate? It seems like science is now moving towards it not being a different species and also moving away from peccary being its own genus. Sadly, if this guy was his own species,

illegal logging and hunting might make it very likely that he would be extremely endangered. I think we should transport him to the nicest golf course and let him be happy. Yes. This is where I want to end this podcast with a modest proposal that IHeartRadio send me to the Amazon.

I'll ride my bike around until I hit one. At that point, I will wrestle him. Put him in the helicopter. Exactly, yeah. And transport him. to the Trump National Golf Course. Yes. I'll be the one guy chasing,

not a pig in a helicopter with night vision for good. And I will jump out. God, when I was a kid, we used to do that. Not a kind thing to do to animals, to be clear, and I think it's kind of a douche move. But when I was younger, we would ride on the sideboards of a Land Rover and then jump out and wrestle warthogs.

For why? There's a thing that happens between the age of about 13 and 18 to men, where your brain doesn't work properly. Did you ever win? Oh yeah, a couple times. Most often you lose. Because the warthog's not going to tap out.

No, no, Warhaw will fuck you up too. Like, it's definitely like a more than a fair fight. I mean, even you're on Land Rover, so it's a bit silly. Okay, I have a stupid question. Yeah. They have Warthogues in England? No, no, no, no. I wasn't in England at that time.

I was in East Africa at that time. I was just to say, I don't think that's right. I don't think they have Timon's or Bumba's there. No, sadly, we had like a, the most exciting shit we had growing up was some emus and hostages that escaped. Just occasionally, you'd run into one. If you're in the right place at the right time, you know, you're going through the woods. I was just ready to have my whole world rock finding out that there's English warthogs.

Yeah, don't. You guys up to up there. That would be great. I don't know how long they'd survive. I mean, we had wild boar at one point, right? They, they thrived until we probably ate them all, Molly's face. I don't think I've ever really looked at a warthog up close before. That's, there's a lot going on and I would not want to hurl my body at any of it.

Yeah, they didn't get the name by accident. It's not one of God's beautiful creatures. They're pretty mean. They'll fuck you up. But yeah, you do wonder how the face ended up like that. I'm so surprised there are not more holes in you. Yeah, I mean, there are a lot. There have been a lot of holes in me over the years.

Like when I get an x-ray, sometimes a person just laughs. I've broken a lot of ribs. But yeah, I would not advise doing that. to a havelina, or really any animal. It's not kind to her animals because you think it's fun. So don't do that. But yeah, I would advise if you have a giant peckery, get it into a breeding program, and then let it go like free willy, jump out of its enclosure and find a home for itself among the fairways and greens of your local golf course. Molly, thank you for joining me on my first podcast where we talk about animals. I am still committed to one day taking you to see a prong,

horn? I want to see a wild animal. Okay, we have a show budget for that now. We're going to going to see so many. We will go on a pronghorn extravaganza. I want to see a Havillina. Just take me to Tucson. Oh, fuck yeah. We could, yeah, we could go to Tucson and stay in a suburban motel and you will see a havalina. I've never seen one. Really? Okay, yeah, we'll maybe we'll recreate my bike accident. We'll go vandalize a golf course. Yeah, yeah. Or we can just watch them with the thing. It's zero risk. You just watch them go. Enjoy it. Maybe we could like get one of those little carts and drive around behind them or something. Get a couple of monsters.

I would pivot to video for that. Yeah. Yeah, that'll be the one time you will see me streaming is when I'm with the Havolino's. They fuck up the golf course. Would you like to plug your podcast, Molly, where people can learn more about other weird little guys that are not, you know, poor sign? Oh, yeah. If you think a peckery is a weird little friend, what about a weird little monster? Sure. My show Weird Little Guys is about right-wing political violence. It's not as fun as a little not pig.

Yeah, but it's great. It's a lovely podcast. You do a very good job with it. And people love it. They can never get enough weird little guys. So you should listen to that. It's an ASMR experience about the clan. We could have made this an ASMR experience if I had more Havelina recording. Maybe I'll ask my friends to record soon. We hope you'll subscribe. We're not just going to talk about funny little animals. It's just nice to talk. about a funny little animal. We are also going to talk about some serious things. Our next episode we'll look at cyclospora, which is the diarrhea parasite that is spreading through the Midwest. Hell yeah. We're going to talk about what we can learn about agricultural labor rights from cyclospora. Then we're going to look at fire, because fire is coming for all of us, including

the golf courses. And we're going to talk about what you should do when you get that little buzz, buzz buzz on your phone and it says level three go now. And then we're going to talk about what we can all learn from indigenous fire knowledge. So I hope you'll subscribe and we will be dropping episode to every Monday. We have two this week. If you're listening on the week this comes out, but after that we will only have one, I'm afraid. Oh, also, yes, you can email us if you want to. If you have a picture of a peckery.

Or a video of one swimming. Yeah, video of one swimming. I'd love to see it. Or one going after a golf course, you can email us. natural causes pod at proton.me. Natural causes is a production of CoolZone Media. For more podcasts from Coolzone Media, visit our website, coolzonemedia.com,

or check us out on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find sources for natural causes listed directly in episode descriptions. Thanks for listening.