It Could Happen Here - Nomadcast takeover for Indigenous Peoples' Day

Episode Date: October 12, 2026

For Indigenous People's Day James intorduces an episode of the Nomadcast interviewing Mato Wayuhi. NomadCast is hosted by Caleb “Moose” (White Mountain Apache Descendant) and Cheyanne (White Mountain Apache Enrolled) Endfield from the White Mountain Apache Reservation where the couple went to school, met, had children and now work and create. NomadCast is a show interested in exploring the best of Indian Country. Caleb Suggested listeners who enjoyed this episode might also enjoy: Lilly GladstoneOne of Indian countries brightest stars. Proof we can sit comfortably at any table. Doctor’s Orders Solo episodeWhy not believe in myself a bit? Tiio Horn EpisodeIn person event at Indigenous Pop Culture Expo in Oklahoma. Very fun episode where I made the deer lady laugh. Alice Qannik Glenn Third Wheel Blues EpisodeFun conversation that flows between topics.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Years later, they said he remained the person they continued to focus on. This is Hunter Gilmore, host of Hunting for Answers, a True Crime podcast. Shedding Light on the Silent Epidemic of Missing and Murdered Black Women and Girls. bringing attention to stories that equally deserve to be told and to the questions that still remain. Listen to Hunting for Answers a true crime podcast from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi everyone, it's James, and today we've got something a little different for you.

Today is Indigenous People's Day, and I didn't want to just breeze through that. It's not a holiday that we get off, so we were not going to not make an episode. and within our group who makes a podcast, we reflected on what to do best, and we thought that the best thing to do would be to use the platform that we have to share a podcast made by Indigenous folks. In this case, it's Caleb or Moose and Cheyenne and their wonderful podcast, Nomadcast. In particular, we chose this episode talking to Caleb. It's an interview with Marto Waiuchi, and I think it's a really great conversation.

There's a lot of really important themes touched on. It's just really great to hear people being vulnerable. in this way. There's a lot of discussion of grief and the loss of close relatives. I've spoken about grief a lot in my own work too, but if grief is not something that you want to hear about halfway through this, that that does begin. You'll get a little bit of a heads up and you can skip that. I hope that you'll listen to this. I hope you'll enjoy it. And I hope you'll go on over to wherever good podcasts are given away for free and subscribe to the Nomadcast. Next week, I will be back and I will be talking about the tree sit in La Chil. I was there last week

where people are sitting, if you're not familiar, people are sitting in a tree defending that tree from destruction by the border wall. That will be a two-part episode, so it'll be next Monday and the Monday after. Oh, and if you would like to contact us, you can do, it is Natural Causespod at proton.com. I'd love to hear from you. I hope you'll enjoy this episode, and thanks for listening. What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of Nomadcast. My name is Caleb Enfield. I'm Shay and Little Ben. Today we have a really cool episode. We talk with Mato Waiyuhi.

He's known for doing the score on a little television show called Reservation Dogs. You may have heard of it. It's available on Hulu, and it's really good. It's got an all-native cast and crew, and he's no exception. He did the music. That's what the score meets, so it's cool. And you can find it on Spotify. You can find that on Spotify also.

I knew that, actually. I listened to it completely. I don't know why I've sounded surprised. Anyway, I liked the episode. a lot this week. And I say that every week, but this week, I really feel good about it. Not only from like a, I think that it was a semi-entertaining conversation, but because for me, personally, and I think for Cheyenne as well, I'll let her speak to it in a second. It was very satisfying. It was very gratifying. It was very gratifying afterwards.

Immediately, I felt like I had taken something from it. Me too. There's a lot of things that I could have taken with me and I feel like it's going to be with me for forever. Yeah. He made a big impression on me. Me too, man. He's good. He's awesome.

We like him. He's a very talented musician, but outside of that, he's just a good person. He, you know, he was very vulnerable and open with us in a time when we needed that. And he was very willing to share his experiences. A little bit of a trigger warning. We do talk about death and grief, especially of immediate family. So if you are going to have a hard time with that, you know, might be a good one to tap out on. But I do encourage you to listen.

it's a lot about healing and a lot about you know we've talked about it before on the show laughing when it's hard to laugh and that kind of thing you know community relations yeah exactly so it is a very weird episode but it's also very good and I felt good about it

and I think a lot of people will enjoy it I agree well outside of the grief and stuff we talk about music we talk about school we talk about astrology we talk about TV You talk about everything. We get into it. You know, we go all over.

It's a fun episode. It really is. And Mato is incredible. He's, like I said, he was just an open book. And he said it was his first podcast. And thank you for having this experience with us. That was cool. Yeah, taking all that time just to hang out.

Yeah, really. And doing the legwork, honestly, again, I can't thank you enough for that because we were going through that week and you came, you know, you came to the rescue. You made sure. Yeah, you made sure that the schedule stayed open. in and that you message me privately on Instagram. That's crazy, man. Thank you.

I agree. Yeah. Anyway, Cheyenne, she blundered a little in the episode. Do you want to explain it? Oh, yeah. I said the indications. Are the indicators and not the indications when I was referring to Duran Jones. So, yeah.

I'm just a little embarrassed and it's been really bothering me. Yeah. She really loves that band. So, but we're going to shout them out anyway because she loves them. and they're a smaller band. So go listen. And because we kind of disrespected him by saying their name wrong.

Yeah. So go listen, everybody. And go listen to Matsuayu. All his music is available on Spotify, including the Reservation Dog soundtrack that he did the entire score of and he wraps his ass off on it. And it's really good.

And listen to more Nomadcast and rate the episode, share the episode, like the episode, interact with us on Instagram, all that kind of stuff, whatever you can do to boost the episodes or the show's signal. We appreciate you for listening. All right, everybody.

Enjoy the show. Thank you. I'm like, like, extremely nervous. I don't know why the last two episodes, I've just been like really hyper when I start. It's good energy, though. I'm going to carry it. I feel you.

Yeah, it's good to, you know, survival mentality. That being said, I'm pretty cool. Like, I'm not. Yeah, no. No, I was, like I was saying, we just watched your your native max live thing with the instagram live with native max magazine and it was great that whoever the interviewer was the host i don't i didn't catch her name because we got there late um she was great too she did a really good job yeah that's my friend

renata ranaana yazi she uh yeah she's navajo we met in new mexico she lives out in albuquerque And so, yeah, I was out there basically half of 2021. And so we met through a mutual friend, and she's a classical pianist. And so we've jammed before. And I mean, the conversation we had is basically what we have just when one-on-one, regardless, talking that in-depth about music and stuff. So, yeah, it was super great. So she wrote an article a little while ago.

And then, yeah, they wanted to do an interview live. and yeah, it was cool. I mean, I love talking with her. And it's funny, the woman who runs Native Max magazine, she's like, oh, you've done this before. That's what she said to Renata. And that's the first time Renata has done that. And so, yeah, she's super, she's very naturally talented.

Yeah, it was great. And that makes a lot of sense, actually, the story, because there was a great rapport. Like, you were so comfortable and you were so open and vulnerable. It was great. I really enjoyed the interview. I usually don't stick around for those things, admittedly. and it was awesome. I thought you guys both did great.

Thank you, man. I appreciate that. Yeah, of course. Anyway, welcome to the show, man. This is a, it's really cool to have you on, everybody. We're talking with, Cheyenne and I, Cheyenne's here. You want to say hi? You know what I say?

Hi. Hey. Yeah, I don't think we've heard your voice the whole time, but we're talking with Matsuo Yuki today. And did I say that correctly? I don't want to. Yep, you did. Okay, I don't want to disrespect.

the name. He was stressing about it for like a couple of weeks. Yeah. I was, dude. He watched an interview or something. I watched several of them. I tried to catch the name a few times. He had different people would say it. It's cool, man. Yeah, I'm used to having to correct people, so it's cool. And like, even Lakota's sometimes I get it wrong too. So yeah, that's interesting, man. I read to the diary entries on your website. And it's funny that, That part made me laugh that you were talking about how I shortened my name to just motto because even like people from my own tribe can't say it sometimes. Yeah, dude. It was crazy.

Yeah, it was, it's funny. There's someone who I won't name, but he's not from my tribe. It's just funny. So I performed at the 2019 Indigenous People's Day in L.A. And I, is that a cat? Yeah, I think that's Charlie. But, yeah. I was performing and the MC was asking how do I, how do I say your name?

So he was trying to spell it, you know, from a phonics standpoint, like frenetically. Yeah. And so I said, okay, so I kind of voiced it out. And then I got to the venue, which is in downtown L.A., and I meet him. And he said, okay, so it's, it's Matto Waiyu. I said, no, it's Matto Wai Uhi. Cool. Three hours go by.

I'm going on in five minutes. We're talking backstage. There's thousands of people there. It's a big show. And I'm all dressed up in my outfit and ready to go on, nervous. And he comes up to me again with a little sheet of paper and says, okay, matto-why-you-wee. And so we're literally pow-out drumming,

Ma-to-Y-you-he. And he said, okay, okay, I got it. And so I'm backstage getting ready. and how's everybody doing? Happy Indigenous People's Day, our next performer from South Dakota please give a warm welcome to Mato, Yui.

Like no one clap because they're like, who? I hear a couple like... Yeah, they know they're supposed to. Right, I'm backstage just with my hands in my knees just like oh god it's so bad but yeah went on and it was okay but yeah so that's a long way to long-winded answer if you're like yeah that's cool yeah well i like the story i think it was good thank you for sharing anyway man it's really cool to have you here i'm very excited i've been excited for weeks i'm glad that you uh took the effort to make it work thank you for that i know

that it's been a couple weeks we've missed each other because of, you know, just reasons. We won't get into it. Thanks for, you know, thanks for doing the legwork and being there for us, man. It means a lot. No, no problem. And I'm a new fan of the show. I would listen to some episodes recently. I listened to the most recent one, January 31st with something Jeffries, Kailen Jeffreys.

Yeah. Her name? Yeah, Caitlin Jeffers? Yeah, Kailen Jeffers. And then I listened to Sterlins because I saw that he was on like last year. And so, yeah, I mean, they're great. And I love the vibe. And yeah, I think y'all are doing really good stuff.

I'm not hip to many, like, native and indigenous led podcasts. Yeah. So especially ones that are just like cool. Like, fuck it. Just cool. Oh, for sure. Just talking. For sure.

I'm going to talk some shit. We're the fucking best. We do it the best. 100%. I don't think that there's another podcast that does it like we do or they have just. There's no tragic Indian. narrative, you know? I'm just so sick of it, bro, all the way. You know, when Sterling talked on the show, he talked about how he didn't want to tell stories about dead Indians anymore. And that's like

some shit that stuck with me. It's so important to me to, I carry that with every episode to make sure that I try not to, I mean, those things come up. Don't get me wrong. You know, there's tragedy. There's bad shit in our communities. You know, it's evident, even in reservation dog, something that he made, you know, when he made, when he's the one that taught me that. And it's, um, so we don't avoid it all the way, but we make sure that we always focus on what people are working on, what they're doing, and how we can, how we can affect change and positivity in these communities that need it, you know? It's important shit. Yeah. And I think to, to create us as a monolith and also as people who are one-dimensional, it's really detrimental, bro. I feel like, you know, you,

you dehumanize our experience as native and indigenous people. And it also creates, It's this stoicism that even the word resilience. I mean, that can be kind of detrimental in some way because it's it's taking away from the humanity of our experience and saying that, oh, we can go through hardship and trials and tribulations because we're so resilient. And obviously there's a way to use it and to contextualize it. But I feel like, yeah, in the grand scheme of things, talking about even ourselves as people who are very resilient and people who can get past everything, I feel like that, yeah,

dehumanizes what we're going through because, you know, I don't know, there's so many dimensions to what we are and what our potential is and what we think we are and stuff. And so it's just, it's interesting. Yeah, it's a really, it's a, it's a beautiful thing that I think is happening. That's always been happening, but I guess more at the forefront now, which is getting these multi-layered perspectives, you know. Yeah, people are starting to like have a more, I don't know, it's like what sold before had to sell the white people, you know, because white people were the only one that had access to entertainment. So, like, they had to tell tragic Indian stories because that's what white people eat up.

Or they had to be, like, mystic, like, super traditional natives all the time. But now it's super different because the demographic is other native people, you know. We're not making the content for non-natives anymore. Making content for each other because we have the means to consume it. And it's, damn, bro, the animals are going crazy tonight. I'm so sorry. It's okay. I think something about Mercury in retrograde or not in retrograde anymore or something like that.

Maybe it's making things wet. Yeah, I know very little about it, but I know that just happened, so I agree. Yep, there you go. That's like the vein of my existence with like astrology and horoscope stuff. Someone will just say something random. Yeah, Pluto's on its third nectar bush. And I'll be like, oh, it's like, makes sense. Yeah, that's like, oh, that's why my taxes were late.

sometimes you got to come to it and be like all right yeah no I'm about I'm the path to least resistance on a lot of things man especially things that and I'm not talking shit but things that just don't matter you know things that are just like a non-issue it doesn't need to be I'm just gonna let you say yeah it's so fun yeah no no no I agree and it's it's it's too like even from I like observing folks and just seeing people talk about what they care about is super it's so impactful to me. Like, I love it. Like, I love, like, I'm talkative in this medium, obviously, but most in, like, life, like, I'll be, like, chilling. Like, I'll just be listening to people talk. I think it's so interesting to me. And I think it's also how I was raised to. It feels weird to, like,

talk over people, especially older than you, just from a traditional standpoint. And so, yeah, I'm always just kind of sitting and hearing what people have to say. And, yeah, it's super interesting. And yeah, hearing people sound off on what they think. And even if you don't agree, it's like, I love that you're doing this right now. I love you talking about what you're saying, even though I don't know what it is or like, yeah, I don't know. Bro, I think about that all the time because, uh, I don't know, there's just so much to learn from other people. So like, I make sure when it's, it's fucking probably kind of weird, what, when I hear things out in the world or when I hear things in songs or movies or something,

and they're interesting or new or different things that I've never heard of. I like play those over and over and over in my head until I form new ideas or have branching vocabulary or something off of it. I don't know. It's weird, man. I think about those things all the time, though. I think about words a lot. Like earlier when you were talking about the phenomena where resilience is kind of like a weird context in it, you know?

I feel that way a lot of times with words like decolonize, you know. It's like, it's so fucking. loaded. I mean, it's necessary. I know what it means, but it's weird. You know, it's been co-opted and just. Yeah. No, I agree. I think it's, it's, it's, it's really easy to stray away from the essence of what certain vernacular contains and vocabulary and whatnot. Yeah, I think, I think about that a lot too. Like, I think yeah. And with like, I don't know, it's just you got to really like break things down and I think things can become like an umbrella term. And especially with decolonizing and things.

Like, I don't know, you got to really, and I don't, I'm not the expert on that in any regard. Yeah, for sure. I have to decolonize as well. But it's, yeah, I think compartmentalizing it is best and also just kind of like understanding that like posting. Like, what's funny to me, and this is just a, this is just like the, I don't know if this is like a comedic view or just kind of a hypocritical or you know what I mean. but it's funny to like we as a, and I'm not, you know, throwing shade or anything because I do it too, but it's just an observation where it's,

we are promoting these, this rhetoric of decolonization onto platforms that are owned by these hegemodic people who are profiting off of our data and in turn using it to advertise us and oftentimes weaponize our language. So it's funny to think, how are you decolonizing if you're feeding into the cog or if you're just a car? You know what I mean. Yeah.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think about that a lot. Like, I really wish there was a way to run a podcast without being on social media. Because I, I don't know, man. I think a lot of my anxiety that like pops up in the middle of the day if I ever feel weird is because I see some weird shit, some sideway shit on the internet that I shouldn't have seen. I shouldn't have been on Twitter, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I think about that a lot, too. Like what kind of fucking weird stuff is happening to. we're getting in a weird place, man, to like our data and all that kind of stuff. Yeah.

Yeah, no, it's super whack. And the thing about phones listening and things, yeah, it's just the whole thing. Oh, it's gross. It's funny. I had Alice Glenn on just like a couple weeks ago. She's host of another podcast. It's called Coffee and Kwok. It's pretty good.

But she's from Alaska. And now all of my tweets that are. like in the recommended section are all like Alaska-based tweets. It's really funny. It's weird because I don't know. I guess we interacted on Twitter, but it just, it's so weird how that stuff just pops up, you know, just becomes part of your feed because it's what the algorithm detects you want. The cookies and everything.

Yeah, it's very interesting. Cheyenne here works for the man, dude. She's part of that squad. What is that until? What do you do? Well, I'm just tech support. for a county. So I work with the government or for the government.

Yeah. Oh, well, you know. Yeah. It's not, it's not as elaborate as Moose makes it sound. Yeah. It's not like you were like, it's like you thought of the data mining. Yeah. Yeah.

No, but I think about that a lot too, like how her connection to everything might make me more vulnerable to being watched. I'm just a paranoid person. Like, you brought it out, dude, when you start talking about all this. It's funny. Before the show, when I saw that thing, when I saw the Instagram live, I was telling Cheyenne that I was like, man, it's going to be a fun episode. Like I can just tell like this dude's, he's like, he gets it. We're the same kind of person. Yeah, I mean, I feel like it just, it's where your passion lies. And if you, yeah, just feel like it's where your passion lies. And if you, yeah, just feel conversational and comfortable with folks. Yeah. I love.

love. I mean, I can talk. I mean, and you miss that, bro, I miss that too. It's like, it's crazy with the pandemic. Like, it's so funny how things get reoriented and how things just mean so much. They mean so much more and less after all this stuff. It's been almost two years now. And it's, it's crazy the craving so desperately to have conversations. You know, it's funny. This is not talking shit about podcasts. Sure. But so I noticed a correlation. between my loneliness and the amount of podcasts I was intaking. So at my loneliest in the past, you know, I've struggled with that my whole life, feeling lonely and other mental health shit, but like specifically loneliness and feeling

like you're part of a community, I, when I'm at my loneliest, I'm listening to the most podcasts. Yeah. Because I'm craving some sort of conversation. And it's funny how podcasts, I study, so for context, I studied, so for context, I studied, cinema media studies in college at USC University of Southern California. So my whole, basically my whole degree is in analyzing media. And so specifically film and television, but that, you know, goes into podcasting as well. And so it's funny to me, it's almost like,

you kind of have a, it's a kind of a passive involvement in a conversation and that in turn makes you feel involved. And I think that's why there's such, there's such a burgeoning of podcasts, because people, it's very much a passivity that you can do. You can still involve yourself in a conversation, but not necessarily have to contribute because of circumstance. Maybe you're literally isolated or, you know, maybe you're just not finding those conversations. And I think the pandemic, it kind of expedited a lot of stuff that I think was going to happen

anyway in terms of where technology is heading. And so it's just funny. Like, yeah, and I say that all because I crave conversation these days. Like, I love, like, it's so vital to me. like going back to the res and talking with people. And especially I feel like with the way the pandemic hit Indian country, you know, it's never been more important to make time to make time. And yeah, I just think from a conversational standpoint, like,

and it's, bro, it feels like a relic of a time gone by when you're, when you leave a conversation, you're like, dude, that felt so good. Yes. Good conversation. Because now it's like, oh, that was a good Instagram post. You're like, oh, that was a fire comment I made. But now it's like, yeah, I feel like leaving and staying up all night at like a fire or something. Like those are few and far between now.

And it's really strange. It's super, it's just, I don't know, debilitating in a way. Yeah. No, I feel that, man. And I actually got an example of that for the first time this past summer because, for the most part, during the pandemic, we've, I mean, we've gone to like family things and stuff when the pandemic was, you know, lifted or whatever. When, you know, there was kind of breaks where it wasn't as bad. so we went to like cookouts and stuff but the first time I hung out with like friends in a real way was um this summer when I had a bunch of homies flying to Arizona and after they all left like I cried a little bit dude

because not I mean I just I was like damn I don't get a talk like that to people I'm gonna hang out like that anymore you know I don't have you know it's like and I'm not trying to I'm not trying to talk shit about Shannon either I'm so sorry you're the best partner but you know it's like I don't want anyone to think I was being negative about like that, but, you know, I don't have those connections to do that in real life like that. And partly because of the pandemic, I think, it's just, it's crazy. All of it really sucks like a shitload. Yeah. No, I feel you. It's, yeah, it's a super weird phenomenon, but I think like, is, oh, go ahead, go ahead. Oh, like, are being in a small town or a reservation, it's hard to find people that have the same interests are you as

you or it's like awkward like they don't know how to conversate with you either at least that's the experience that I've had because I want to talk to people but it's hard to talk to people when they don't want to talk to you yeah or when it feels like they don't want to talk to you like it's like it feels like they're being short but yeah they're just yeah they're just awkward people I feel it yeah that's why I feel around a lot of people yeah no I feel that that's that's definitely real and I think in shine what you were saying like that that in turn is why the internet is so there's been so many great avenues for i think a lot of native kids like on the res you know what i mean like i think i remember in like 2017 2018 like going back a lot

in the summer and stuff when i would have time and interacting with kids there and they just had this literacy of the internet in terms of these little pockets of fandom that i was just blown away by you know just it's it's so funny then like i don't want to generalized, but from what I experienced, the way that anime and, like, emo and gothic stuff has just blown up. Because it was always there. I remember my, you know, cousins and everything, they were always into it. But now it's, there's just a newfound thing about it.

And, like, I think with TikTok and all that stuff, it's just, it's cool. Like, it's really cool to see. And I think it's very, I think, you know, validating for a lot of kids out there for the people, you know, the alternative kids or. the, you know, the queer kids or, you know, gender fluid kids and all this stuff. It's just, it's really nice to see that there's avenues now for the internet. But yeah, in turn, sometimes it breeds places where you can't, like, have those types of conversations. So, you know, it's not, I think maybe they're kind of secondary now.

Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. So you weren't an anime, uh, anime, uh, emo golf kid when you were growing up? I listened to Black Sabbath. So whatever that made me. I don't know Yeah like I listen to some like stuff from the 70s and stuff

But I don't know I was not yeah I will I kind of was I remember I'll tell this story because it's a podcast But I it's so funny I I was big into Green Day growing up like and this all attributed to my sister Micah She completely woke me up musically in my whole life and so I was I mean I mean I was young. This was 2003, 2004, so I was five and six years old. And I remember she played Boulevard of Broken Dreams off of American Indian and it's track number four. And I remember, dude, that woke me up.

And I was like, I was so green. And when I have an obsessive personality. And so when I'm into something, I'm in tento's deep. And it's every, it controls my life. And I was also very impressionable growing up. up. So any figure that I looked to, that was who I was. And so I was Billy Joe Armstrong for like four years in my life. And so that entailed me wearing a mascara to a bat mitzvah that I went to when I was eight years old. And bro, I literally snuck into my mom's bathroom and put on mascara, probably not

even mascara, just something that looked like black makeup. Yeah. I love that. And I love that. And I look great. I think I probably looked really pretty. And I, I work because of Bat Mitzvah, because I'm, so I'm half native and half, like, ethnically Jewish. I didn't practice Judaism, but, like, we went to a Bat Mitzvah. And I, yeah, I was just wearing, wearing the mascara feeling great. Where am I, have a little Yamika? Yeah, I got busted later. Well, no, not at the bat mitzvah. Like, not in the first thing. Like, I don't know what it's even called, but not in the first ceremony section of it. Maybe because I was low-key, it wasn't like super, super wild. But then, yeah, I went home and then my dad found out in like traditional full-blooded

lock-coated dad finding out his son is wearing mascara to a bot mitz foot. He was less than happy. So I got my ass chewed and punished and like called all the names and yeah, I tried to take it off. But it was cool. I mean, like, it was a moment. It is what it is. Yeah. I remember my cousin, my like male cousin and I had a great moment of like breaking traits of toxic masculinity. We were at the park playing. I still had the mascara on.

He goes, are you wearing makeup? And he's older than me. He was 11 at the time. I was 8. Actually, I think he was 12. You already know the cousin dynamic is out of whack. Like he owns the world. And so he says, are you wearing makeup?

I said, yeah. And he just goes, cool. And I was like, dope, let's move on. What a good example. Damn, that's the way to be a cousin. Right. It was a good, great cousin moment. So anyway, yeah, I grew up listening to Green Day a lot.

And that's what informed, like, it was always music, though, for me, like the obsessive things. And that's why I make it now. It's like it was always like I could not let it go. And so that led me to Black Sabbath and other things. But now, I never watched anime. I still don't. I try. My partner, she does her best to give me.

like into it. Enemy's made as fuck. I'm just going to say it. I like some. Like a couple. But they're not good. I'm sorry. The conventions of like these weird children being like 4,000 years old and shit and like other weird things that happen in enemy.

I'm just not about it. And I'm not about like the weird yelling all the time and shit. It's just exhausting. It's just. And the episodes where it's like. half of it's a recap of the last episode you just watched. I'm over at all. No more anime for me.

I understand. Yeah, I can definitely see that. It's been, it's a lot of a, it's like a culture shock to me for me to watch it. And but I, it's something I highly respect. It's just I don't have reference for it.

And like, I think from a musical standpoint, too, like everything I've heard is really cool. And a lot of the different artists and the composers that I am friends with and work with, they're constantly giving me, you know, just recommendations on what to watch. But yeah, dude, I, it's- That was a critique solely of the writing of anime.

Like, I've seen almost every fight scene from, like, Naruto, because they're sick. Like, I love the animation. That shit is so cool. You know what I mean? I just don't care about any of the characters or there. I just don't care. I just, and I don't have time to watch 800 episodes of something. Just to be honest.

Yeah, it's, I just have no literacy for it, so I try, but it's cool. I mean, it's definitely something I respect, but I just don't. Yeah, and I think that's okay. I think we got to be all right with that. To speak to your point of being, like, obsessive on the same way, and I think that's why I'm like super into rap music, because it's easy to be obsessive over it. Like, if you find a line or a lyric you like or a rapper that just makes these really crazy songs, and it's easy to listen to it like a thousand times and never be, like, tired of it. You know? Because all through like junior high-in shit, I listen to a lot of like Green Day and other stuff like that.

I don't know, Blinkman 82 and stuff. But as I got older, I just jumped straight into like M&M an exhibit and a bunch of those West Coast based rappers. And that was like my basis for becoming, you know, the degenerate pot smoking podcast host that I am, I think. There you go. I think I was going to ask what you're. Thanks for asking. I like anime. But what I grow up with?

I don't know. Honestly, I was alternative. Most calls me, what do you call me? He called me a scene kid. But I listened to the playlist that you made on Spotify. So I think that's really good. Yeah. I really enjoy it.

And I like a lot of oldies as I get older. I like oldies music. And I really like short and sweet that you have on your playlist. Oh, yes. It's so good. It gives me the goosebumps. I'm very passionate about music. And I'm not very good with explaining music and everything.

But I know when it feels good. And I really like your playlist. It's a feel good playlist. Thank you. Thank you for saying that. I'm glad you like it. I mean, I got to look at the listing real quick. Oh, I got on it.

Yeah, I think, let's see, where is that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember I'm looking at it now. Yeah, I mean, that song is so, Brittany Howard, she's such a phenomenal musician. And I saw that live a couple months ago, and I was blown away. She's so cool.

It's something I'm learning on guitar right now, too, because that song is, yeah, it's a beautiful song. It is so good. Yeah. I recently got tickets to Duran Jones and the indicators. Yeah, so that's what I'm into right now. That's a good avenue. And yeah, that's like a time.

I feel like those musicians, there's a sense of timelessness in their sounds. It just makes me so happy. Yeah, Brittany Howard's great. Do you listen to Alabama Shakes? No. Okay, so that's Brittany. Yeah, that's Britney Howard's band. That's what I don't think they're, no, I don't think they're active.

anymore, but yeah, they have a record called Sound in Color that I think you would really like. That has some of my favorite songs of all time on that record. That came out, I think, in 2015. But, yeah, that's a really good record. And she's, so she was the lead singer and songwriter of Alabama Shakes. And so her record, Jamie was the something she did as a solo artist, but she did, yeah, she did sound in color. And there's a couple other albums, too, but yeah, super dope. Yeah, check it out.

That was so sweet. I love when people recommend albums to me. Like, songs are cool, but albums are so fucking important, man. I love listening to an album, start to finish. That's kind of where my obsessive trait in music really is. That's how I listen to an artist or a song. You know, I'll go through the whole album once I like a song. It's, I don't know.

It's weird, but I love that. Thank you for sharing that with us, man. That's cool. I was very impressed. No problem, man. I feel the same way albums are, albums are I mean

that's how personally that's how I've always seen music is the album and I think it's changing and I'm not going to be like like I'm not going to gripe about it because it's just changing and you got to be adaptable and even the album itself that's a technological moment in the history of music

you know music wasn't made to make albums that's just what was that's what the technology required at the time with records and everything so it's not it's not like that's the end all be all music but I think the idea of a concept and a project is really that's something that I really admire in every piece of music that I've listened to and that I make myself is I love the project. I love the what's the thing, what's the theme of it and what's the story and yeah I think albums are a great conduit for that and yeah I love it and I think yeah judging I mean I wouldn't I don't

it's weird it's like you don't want to judge somebody off of their ability to make a project But there are some artists that are, that's their skill set. It's like their very unique skill set of creating something that is cohesive and is challenging and all these different things. And yeah, I love albums. Albums are great. Yeah, me too. It's how I consume music. Plaza Kia makes car buying easy, as easy as driving.

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I'm Melissa Jeltson, and in my new podcast, what happened to her, I'm bringing you new stories and conversations every week. Stories about women whose deaths were too quickly ruled a suicide. She was starting to get worried and get scared for her safety. Stories of survival. The only difference between me and her, frankly, was a little bit of luck. Because by all rights, I should be dead. Cases that everyone else called closed.

They can't convict her, right? Like, she has so much evidence. These stories all start in the same place, with a woman failed by a system that didn't believe her, that didn't protect her, that didn't see. see her. No child should ever experience that. And we were babies. She did all of these brave things and came out and spoke about it and he got a year. You never know who that devil is because he's wearing in disguise. Sometimes it's a police uniform. Listen to what happened to her on the IHeart Radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Lisa, we should tell them about our new show. Oh my God, Lexi. We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Youanu. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa Di Giulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions, and at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. I'm not going to get any of you fighting. That is wild. I learned that about you today. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business, and I've always got something to say.

If men were just honest about this, there would be so much more peace in the world. We're going to talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older, and a little wiser. We're best friends, but we don't always agree. Because you told us how accommodating you are. Obviously, I would do what I think I could do to fight the fight, but there's only so much fight I can fight. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me.

Don't lie to me. Liar. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts. or wherever you get your podcast. I don't really care. I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcasts. The True Crime Comedy Podcasts, all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

Each week I bring on incredible guests like Conan O'Brien, Iowa Debrie, Lamorne Morris, and Nicole Byer. Ooh, I scammed them. What? I can talk to you for an hour. You're a generational yapper like me. That's why I had to make yapping a job. And the scams run the gamut.

I'm talking about scams from the 1800s all the way up to today. I also warn you and keep you safe against scammers. Call your grandparents. Tell your parents to stop clicking on links, please. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. If there's a scam, I'm here to protect you. And I'm also here to laugh with you. So if you like fun, if you like comedy and you like learning and protecting yourself from criminals,

Start listening to Scam Goddess on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. My name is Josie Duffy Rice. I'm a journalist who covers the criminal legal system. And over my career, I've heard account after account of prosecutorial misconduct, story after story of injustice. But I've never heard a story quite like this. The more I kept reading that stuff, I thought, man, there's more red flags that just kept coming up over and over. We'll hypnotize him to strengthen that memory. So he went into a good france.

I really didn't believe any of it was real. And I was like, well, they're going to figure out this is not me. They're going to do their police job. Listen to Examine the Backfire Effect on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. But speaking of albums, man, and you probably should get on some topics, you know. you know. So you made the album for reservation dogs. You made the soundtrack as it is, right?

That's what it's called. Yeah. What was that like, man? How did you get involved with that? I mean, I read your diary thing and it said that you were involved with that and another TV show as a whatever producer, assistant producer, I think it was. And like, what, I mean, how? What's going on?

Oh, I just got a, I don't know. I have a lust for life. Like, I just like. getting involved with stuff. Yeah. And it's super fun of me. And I'm really grateful I have some of the best idols, you know, just people I look up to.

And I'm still very impressionable in that regard of seeing, you know, I'm stupid enough to believe I can do it too. And I think that's the best thing. It's just like you just got to believe in it. But anyway, sorry, I'm getting, I'm getting. No, go down that road. Anyway, it's okay. This is a safe place.

We'll cry together, man. I started making music when I, I was 15, 16. And so I, yeah, I just started, I think I was making music and then I started producing music when I was in like 18. And that was the year I went to college too. And so I was going to USC and also really starting to like seriously make music. And so those were constantly battling against one another, going to school and making music. But also too, I mean, it's a, you're in survival mode, you know. Like I feel like when you come from where we come from and the history that we have and everything.

And I don't think it's, I don't, you know, talking like, oh, work, work 24-7. I don't think that's healthy. I just mean more so in terms of like being, you know, inquisitive and being passionate and stuff. I feel like is something that is just in our biology. And it's also from a, you know, surviving because, you know, just being curious and being innovative and everything. So I feel like that's what kind of it fuels me to do all this different types of stuff. But in terms of music, yeah, I was just kept making it with no real understanding of what I was going to do and how I was going to do it. But I love making it.

And I, the happiest moments in my life have been when I'm creating. And so I just kept chasing that. And yeah, I was in L.A. I was at school. I was almost dropping out of school because I was doing okay, but I just didn't want to be there. and I had to take out a fat loan. And I was so just de-incentivized. And all I wanted to do was make music.

And so it's hard to go to class and be in a city you've never been in. And having a hard time connecting with people. It was, yeah, it was just a recipe for just kind of disassociation. And so luckily music was there. And luckily I got into the film school when I applied because I was undecided. And so that all kind of bred me to lean towards film. And I think my junior year I started, I first worked on a film, a short film to score it. And it was this, my friend Alex, he's from Brooklyn and he's half black, half Chinese.

And so he made a short film for school that was kind of exploring that dual identity. And it was it was kind of in, it was satirizing. Well, black exploitation is basically, you know, it's satirizing a lot of things anyway. But like it was it was kind of pastiche of black exploitation films. And so he asked if I wanted to score it. And I was like, sure. And so I was making a lot of this like 70s like funk like whack. Yes.

Yeah. So that was really cool. That was my first kind of foray into scoring. And it was great too because, you know, I think from a from a composing standpoint, you know, I don't play any instruments. I play piano very averagely. I can squeak by and I'm learning guitar, but I don't know how to play anything, really. I don't know how to play drums or anything like that. And so with the scoring, it was cool because I could bring in other people and say,

okay, I'm thinking of this because I always have the direction. I just don't have the, you know, skill and the tangible efforts to make it myself. So that's when I bring in friends and stuff. And it's great, too. You get to hire people. It's fun. So I got to make a score for that, which was like, you know, heavily funk themed and everything. And it was cool.

And, you know, it was just for school. And I didn't really think much of it. And then I was, it was so funny how everything devolved into like the pandemic. Because we all like remember the first couple months of like 2020. And you're like, all right, cool. Like aesthetically pleasing year, 2020 is going to be great. It's be so dope. And it was for me, like, because I was graduating school.

And then, yeah, I got my friend Willie, who's, he's from out in Pine Ridge. And he's a good friend of mine. I've known him for a couple years. And he just texted me on some kind of, like, movie shit. He said, do you want to score a feature-length film? And I was like, yeah. And so he set me up with some filmmakers named Gina and Riley. And they were making a film out in Pryor.

Pine Ridge. And basically, you know, it was very, you know, grassroots and it was very made, written by folks out there and starring folks out there and everything. So it was a really cool film. And basically, I got involved with that. And then through that, I think, I think Sterling had known of me. And I think I'd known of him too. We just never really met at all. Like, we never had time to just like chop it up or anything. But we, you know how Indian country is. you know everybody. So we always like had run on or run over in terms of friend groups and stuff. And so that was my first like real scoring gig, I guess.

And so we were working up until the pandemic. And then I went back to South Dakota to live with my parents for like four-ish months. And then I got, I think it was like October, November. And Gina and I were talking. We were actually on set. We're in Bakersfield, California, which is out of, it's nowhere. It's just out of, it's just nowhere. And it looks like the res in this great.

So we were shooting there because it looks like the res. And we were sitting there and she's like, oh, did Sterling reach out to you yet? And I was like, no. And he's like, oh, he wants you to like do res dogs. And I was like, oh, cool. I didn't really like, no. And I was like, okay, no, that's sick. And so, but you know, in Hollywood, you don't hold your breath.

Yeah. It's a little word of wisdom. a little woks up a little Lakota wisdom there. I love that. Real sacred. Yeah. Yeah. And so I heard that and I was like, okay, cool.

If it happens, it happens. That's exciting. And so I was waiting some months and then we finally got in touch. And yeah, I mean, we just spoke and it was like instantly. I mean, you know him. You know me. It's like we just connected instantly. Yeah.

And in that same time frame, so when I got offered the movie, I also got offered to be an assistant producer for this upcoming Amazon series called Outer Range. And so I kind of got both of those jobs at the same time. And it's funny, bro. It's like I always thought I would do that. I always thought I would be in music and film. Like something I've manifested. I have a song called Pesto off of Scatterbrain.

It's like the third year's song. I've definitely heard it, but I don't remember it. I'll be honest. Yeah. It's okay. It's okay. It was a, I have a line that's like, I traded close friends for a fan base.

That's just how it go hard for Native American Gambino. So I was referencing like childish Gambino because I respect how he operates in multiple worlds or worlds. And so like that was something I wanted to manifest for myself. And so I was really stoked when it was happening. Then the pandemic hit and everything changed. But yeah, I was able to work last year 2021 on the Amazon show and also do Res Dog. which is very hard to do.

But it was done. And yeah, so that's kind of how I got involved with all that stuff. And Sterling and I just had a conversation. And he's like, is this something you're interested in? I'm like, yeah, definitely. And he's like, I can't guarantee it. I got to talk with the FX people, but just wanted to see if you're interested. I was like, yeah, bro, count me in.

And so it was cool. Like, I think in a lot of ways I needed the pandemic because I needed to, like, really incubate and work and figure out. how I can get better at this type of stuff because yeah it was um I really wanted to be self-sustainable and you know stand on my two feet when it comes to making music and everything and so yeah yeah and then everything worked out and it was cool and it's been such an amazing experience to be a part of a show like that and yeah no none of us knew what was going to happen when it came out and it was funny as we got closer to releasing it I feel like we were all kind of like and we

knew it was good, but we didn't know it was going to be what it is now. And I knew, I knew it was real when I saw all the memes. Like, I was like, all right, we're hitting, this is hitting a chord in India country. And in the larger frame, you know, it's, bro, they're, they're writing articles about us in India about Res Dog. It's just interesting, you know, it's just so, it's, that's, that's, um, that's, yeah. That's badass, dude. I didn't know that. That's cool. Yeah, I was literally, someone tagged me on Twitter and it was a whole article written in this news station in India. and they were, yeah, it was cool.

That is, that's so cool. That's super cool, man. I was talking to my last episode, it hasn't released yet. It was with a Miggizzi. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was telling me that one of the best things for him was seeing like the costumes when like Halloween rolled around and you got the little kids dressing up as like the different reservation dogs and stuff. That's crazy, man.

Oh, man, I can't even imagine that. That's so cool like that you guys made that, you know? But yeah, it's, oh, fuck, it's cool. It is cool. It's really, it's really fun. And I'm just grateful that there's something that's striking like that from a cultural standpoint. Yeah. Because, yeah, it's just, it's really cool.

And like, I think I, you know, it was very much a universal alignment in terms of like, I don't know, it's just great. And like, I, in the show, it's not a byproduct of what people expect out of native. entertainment and native media. And it's cool, bro, because I don't know, growing up, I was like seeing music and I was like, I don't, like, this isn't, I don't relate to this. Like, this is not, and it's because it was

through a lens of something that wasn't necessarily us and representation that wasn't necessarily us. So that was always the guiding principle for my own music. And so to get to a point where it's kind of meshing with this other force that's coming and the fact that I could contribute to it in any way, I was super stoked. and yeah, it's great.

I mean, I love being a part of it. And yeah, it's fun. Dude, reservation dogs is special. It really is, man. I just, I can't say it enough because it's like, like, I don't know, it started this, this thing that it's not to say that people weren't creative before, but it started this thing to let people know that it's okay to expect to be big, to expect to be successful, you know?

Because before that, like, you know, there wasn't recent examples of big native projects. having that kind of success, but then in one year we got two of them, you know, like the Rutherford Falls and Reservation Dogs is crazy. It's so crazy, man. It's amazing. It's the best. It's the best thing. It is. I mean, it's like the, I just think the, I want to say it's almost the, the luxury of trust in terms of how these different, you know, companies and these different kind of things that we're gatekeeping for a long time are trusting native and indigenous voices. And it takes something like a Rutherford Falls or like a Res Dogs to kind of be the, I don't know, to be the impetus to get things to be started.

And yeah, it's super, it's super dope. And I love it. And yeah, it's just really, it's a great thing. It's a great, great thing. I'm literally, my laptop is literally balanced on this book, this like moonlight script. It's the whole script of moonlight. and it's Barry Jenkins, you know, directed that. And he's a big fan of Res Dogs, and it's crazy.

It's like, dude, I can literally, it's like, he geeks out. He loves, oh my God, if I'm blanking on her name right now. Paulina, I know her really. Willie Jack. Willie Jack, yeah, yeah, Willie Jack. He's like such a fan girl of Willie Jack. And it's so, yeah, it's dope. I don't know.

It's cool. Yeah. I mean, that's something crazy to me is how you guys have people. who fan girl over the show, you know? It's just, it's a whole other level, man. It's really cool to see. It's really cool to be able to watch because it's like you said, man, there's just, or like we've been saying, you know,

there's just not a, those examples haven't been around really and there hasn't been the chance to really, at least not in a big mainstream way like this. Like, to be honest, I just didn't know what was going on on other reservations. I didn't know other people were doing cool shit until I started doing the show, you know? But now reservation dogs really blew that open. You know what I mean? Like now people are exploring that more than ever. People are being more vocal about their projects more than ever.

People are, you know, that's like the example that I see from you guys is that people know it's possible. It's okay to be like a successful Indian, you know? It's awesome. True. Yeah. It's kind of a redefinition of the conventions of Hollywood. And even, you know, just filmmaking in general. I think the way that Sterlin has like implemented this thing of doing it yourself is really cool.

And that's something I've always believed in too. That's why I do it all myself like shit. Like it's just why it's like that because it's a it's a, I don't know, it's a way to express yourself and also to honor those different components that you grew up on and that you hold true to yourself. And so I think the employment of, you know, mostly native and indigenous creators for the show. is a huge thing. Like it's so cool because a lot of the, you know, sometimes we'll be on screen, but it's about the people behind the scenes a lot of the time, you know,

and getting a lot of these different artists together. Yeah, it's super monumental, I feel. Yeah, it's really cool, man. And that's something I do really admire about Sterling is how much, like, just work he's willing to put in. And I'm not talking about from the standpoint of, like you said, it's not healthy to work all the time. But that dude's always working.

He's always got the gears turning, you know? he's just always doing something it's cool he and it shows man that show is amazing and yeah what was it like scoring something that like i mean like you like you said you didn't know that it was going to be big but once you once you knew that who was involved and once you got the okay and you realized what it was about was you know how was that contrasted against the smaller projects that you've scored before it felt great i mean i felt like i was in the gym like working for this personally and because it's great like all of the avenues that I love it was literally meshing I love rapping I fucking love can I can swear right yeah yeah fuck it up okay I fucking love to rap so much like I love it

and so the to get the chance to do that was so I was so stoked you can hear me smiling right now if I know it's audio but I love rapping so much and so to get to be able like to be able to contribute to a score, which I feel like when you hear score, you think of embellished strings and staccato and a flute. But bro, I'm just raving my ass off. And so I was, it was just so, I'm just so fortunate. And so it was really cool. Like, literally the assignment was like, write a rap song and produce a rap song. And I've been doing that since I'm 14 years old. So it was literally, you know, it was just divine timing. Yeah. And so it was really cool. cool so it was dope i mean and too aside from rapping i love i love the scoring stuff i love the

strings that stuff is really beautiful i think there's a really interesting cultural element of the way the bass frequencies hit your chest and how a drum hits your chest you know the the the deep tones of a bass and how it's you know corollary to a pow-out drum and stuff i feel like it's very similar and so um yeah i love that type of stuff too so it was great. I mean, it was really fun. And I think it was challenging, too. There were certain things that it was brought out of me having to do. And I really am honored for the collaborators that I had. My friend DA was super dope. He played, I wrote all the guitar and he's playing it throughout the whole season. And he would give me great feedback on stuff. And just from a musical

standpoint and a technical standpoint, I was really fortunate to have him around. He was living with me when I was in New Mexico for a little bit. And yeah, so it was great, though. It was really fun. And it got me, it was kind of, it was validation from just a personal standpoint of saying, oh, this is, this is one of the reasons why I was doing this for so long with no direction and no affirmation. And, I mean, being an artist is hard. I mean, we all know that it's hard, dude, it's hard. Especially a native artist, like talking about what we talk about and everything it's it can be really um yeah it can be i don't know you can be thirsty for these things of affirmation so the the show was was really nice and also being trusted like i was you know

22 at the time of being considered and now i'm 24 but like i was a baby and they were thinking to me and i was really gratifying or that was really gratifying but yeah it was cool i think like Sterlin, he knows I spoke that language of being, you know, critical and being funny and being intentional with your art and things. And so that was, that was cool. But yeah, it was great. I mean, overall, great times. Yeah. That is something I very much admire about, like, a bunch of your work, actually, is how intentional you are with all your shit. Like, my favorite song of yours is a blossom. And it's just because, I don't know, man, I feel like more people just need to be real like that and be able to tell their homies like, you know, so like I'm proud of you, you know, I think we need to be more

okay with that kind of stuff. And that's the way I pictured it anyway, you know, is like telling just, you know, I don't know, people can interpret it how they want, but that's the way I wanted to interpret it is like, it's okay, it's good, I'm proud of you, and I'm glad that you're growing and, you know, that kind of shit is just so important. And I'm glad that you're so direct and intentional with your language and make sure that people know it's okay to talk like that. you know it's cool man i think a lot of people are really embarrassed to be open like that yeah thank you i appreciate you saying that and yeah i think i think it's um the privilege of vulnerability is really really important and really expansive when you when you let it take over

your art and i think yeah i don't know man it's yeah it's important to me and it's funny i i know something is real in my life when i'm able to write about it whether that be love romance grief, anger, excitement. It's only really affecting me when it's affecting my writing. And so, and yeah, it's just, I mean, I don't know. It's never been a second question for me in terms of writing like that. Like I've always, and sometimes it's really lame. It's sad.

It's embarrassing. I feel that way all the time on the show, bro. I feel like sometimes I'm like, I can't believe I said that shit. Like, that's so corny, you know, or that's, that's lame. Like, what am I doing? And, but then at the same time, you know, I, I don't know. It's like, I just, I want to be, I want to be true and I want to make real shit so that other people who, because I'm like you, man, I think I can do it. You know, I think I can make it.

I think, like, you know, I think people are going to listen to this someday. So, I want people to feel like it's okay to be vulnerable to, you know. I want people to know that, like, it's just, that's human. That's the way it is. And so I'm on the same wavelength almost to the T with you, man. I just like I think, you know, I just love that shit. It's like like your being that way, being, you know, how you said, how you said it's like some of it's like sad and embarrassing.

It's like emboldening me to be sad and embarrassing. And it's okay to be that, man. Like that's good. That's part of, that's part of you. And it's really special that you share that. Thank you, man. Yeah, I mean, self-acceptance, definitely. That's something I've been working.

through from a new kind of with newer stuff it's like I've experienced I mean we all have so much loss in the past couple years yeah and specifically I've lost like a lot of really close people in my life and it's been like a super meditative time for me in terms of figuring out what it is what is it what is my relationship to loss what's my relationship to music now and how is it changed how is it similar and yeah it's it's it's hard it's not fun it's like super It can be heavy sometimes and it can be sad. But it's also like that's the humanity of it. And that's what we talked about at the top of it,

which was like you got to explore that type of stuff. And it's important. And yeah, it's been a really, it's been a new chapter, I think, in my artistry to figure out what my relationship to music is now and how has it changed and what can I explore? And what do I feel comfortable doing? And yeah, it's like a super,

it's all about vulnerability. It's all about feeling like you can be expanding on those emotions and things. And yeah, it's wild. Plaza Kia makes car buying easy, as easy as driving. The 2027 Kia Celtos, with expansive cargo space and comfort. The Kia Seltos SUV is ready to inspire your next great adventure. Plaza Kia, built by trust, defined by experience, offering a huge selection of new and certified pre-owned kias with competitive pricing.

A proud member of the Plaza Auto Group. Family owned and operated for 70 years. Plaza kia.com. Kia, movement that inspires. I'm Melissa Jeltson, and in my new podcast what happened to her, I'm bringing you new stories and conversations every week. Stories about women whose deaths were too quickly ruled a suicide. She was starting to get worried and get scared for her safety.

Stories of survival The only difference between me and her, frankly, was a little bit of luck because by all rights, I should be dead. Cases that everyone else called closed. They can't convict her, right? Like, she has so much evidence. These stories all start in the same place

with a woman failed by a system that didn't believe her, that didn't protect her, that didn't see her. No child should ever experience that. And we were babies. She did all of these brave things. and came out and spoke about it and he got a year.

You never know who that devil is because he's wearing in disguise. Sometimes it's a police uniform. Listen to what happened to her on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Lisa, we should tell them about our new show. Oh my God, Lexi. We have a new podcast. It's called Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi You Want You.

We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart. And I'm Lisa Di Giulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions, and at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all. I'm not going to get anyone fighting. That is wild. I learned that about you today. Now in my 30s, being the founder of new shoes, good taste is my business, and I've always got something to say. If men were just honest about this, there would be so much more peace in the world. We're going to talk about dating, relationships, beauty, getting older, and a little wiser.

We're best friends, but we don't always agree. Because you told us how accommodating you are. Obviously, I would do what I think I could do to fight the fight, but there's only so much fight I can fight. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Don't lie to me. Lyer. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I don't really care. I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast. The True Crime Comedy Podcasts all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it. Each week I bring on incredible guests like Conan O'Brien, Iowa Debrie, Lamorne Morris, and Nicole Beyer.

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to stop clicking on links, please. And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube. If there's a scam, I'm here to protect you. And I'm also here to laugh with you. So if you like fun, if you like comedy and you like learning and protecting yourself from criminals, start listening to scam goddess on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. My name is Josie Duffy Rice. I'm a journalist who covers the criminal legal system. And over my career, I've heard a count after account of prosecutorial misconduct, story after story of injustice. But I've never heard a story quite like this.

The more I kept reading that stuff, I thought, man, there's more red flags that just kept coming up over and over. We'll hypnotize them to strengthen that memory. So he went into a good france. I really didn't believe any of it was real. And I was like, well, they're going to figure out this is not me. They're going to do their police job. Listen to Examine the Backfire Effect on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. That's something I think about a lot is like how my relationships are affected by these different things and about my inability to be vulnerable.

or my, you know, just things like that. And because that's something that's important to me, too, is making sure that I, you know, I want to foster these relationships and I want to make sure that people are, you know, are accepting and welcoming, but I also don't want to, like, expose myself to be not accepted, you know?

So it's a really, it's a really weird thing for me to combat, too, because I'm dealing with the same shit, man. I want to be the best version of me. And I just don't know what that is. Like, not even a lot. a little bit and I'm you know we're exploring we're trying but it's hard man and that's why I like that song so much because it's you know that's that's the essence of it at least like like I said

that's the way for me that I took it is like it's okay to be to grow and to be different and to like be who you want to be and it's just cool man uh yeah I'm getting for a while I recently lost my brother um past week But I was kind of mad. I didn't want to listen to music. But that's what we had, you know? And I think it's really great that you're very passionate in sharing your talent with people. Because they thrive on it.

I love music so much. And it's great. I think it's great to have what you have and to be passionate. about it. So I think it's great what you're doing because I know somebody's listening and people appreciate that and people appreciate that you're native. I think it goes a long way. Thank you for saying that.

Yeah, that means a lot. I'm so sorry to hear about that too. That's, yeah, it's heavy. And yeah, thank you. That means a lot to hear. And it's crazy. I think a lot about how much grief has informed a lot of my like artistry. And in a lot of ways, I mean, it's just the, I mean, it's the one thing you have, you know, in those times.

And I think, too, it's such a beautiful, like, it's funny. So I lost my dad at the, like in September 2020. And, you know, it was, it was really, it changed my whole life as it was. does for everybody. And like it, I moved back. I was in LA working and I, you know, when it happened, I instantly went back to South Dakota and we had the funeral and it was like a really intense thing. And it became this thing of like once I was able to at least function like literally, you know, feed myself and stuff and like operate a little bit. It was going back to music and seeing where I was. And I'll never forget this. I remember the first.

time this was probably a month and a half after he passed and like I said it you know music is always a litmus test how to where am I at really it's reflective in the music and I remember I was like producing something and then I just kind of naturally started talking about my dad and that was the first time I touched the topic and you know for me it's wild too because it's like you can verbalize a loss you can say I've lost somebody you can attend services for for somebody, you can pray and you can attend ceremonies and speak about it with, you know, medicine people. But for me, it's like, it's, I guess it'd be similar to just like painting a portrait of my dad or anything like that.

Like, I don't know, it was, it was like, that's what it was to me. It was like seeing him again. And so when I wrote those lyrics, I really understood how much grieving I needed to do. And I was, it was in every literal sense, I was frozen. I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything. It was, it was like, it was complete. It just enraptured everything.

And so I, it was like an emergency. I had to call my sisters and I was like just bawling. Like I didn't realize how much I had not processed what was going on. And since then, I mean, that's been, it's been like a year and a half and I'm still edging away at that. Like, it's still a thing that every time I talk about it. I'm getting there. Like, if you go on my Instagram, there's like one freestyle I did where I talk about him.

But like, even so now, it's still a thing of like understanding how I can kind of heal through music and also be able to, I don't know, to compartmentalize those emotions and to understand what it is to live with grief because I don't think you ever get past grief. You just live with it. And it's a new part of. you. And similar to what we talked about earlier, it's that self-acceptance. It's like, this is now a part of me. And I think also too, like when you, for me, like, that was something my dad is really proud of me for was music. And so to do it in his like memory and it's like a continuation

of that, you know, and I think we're all just, you know, pieces of, you know, pieces of people that made us and we're just pieces of the lessons that we've learned from people that we love. And so for music, yeah, I mean, that's been so informative. And like, so now even, yeah, it's just crazy. It's like it's still a thing that I'm working through. And a lot of my new stuff is exploring that. And yeah, it's really, really heavy. But it's also really beautiful.

Like there's been parts of my life where I've been numb. I didn't feel anything. And so I'm grateful for the moments that I feel because that. That's, it's bringing me a sense of humanity and bringing me closer to folks. You know, we can relate to one another based off of that stuff. So, yeah. Yeah, thank you for sharing that, man. And, yeah, no, I mean, I lost my sister, too, you know, a few years ago.

And it's, you know, you're right. Grief never, it never stops, bro. It just sucks forever. But I think, you know, the way I think about it a lot of times is, like, you have these tools that used to work through your, life, you know. And for you, that's music, man. And that's, that's really cool. For me, it's been this show. Um, the only constant over the last three years for me at this point has been a shine in the show, you know. Um, and, uh, you know, I've gone through jobs. I've, uh, done

the cancer thing. The, we've done the pandemic thing. You know, it's just, it's been a lot. So, um, you know, it's, it's just one of those, you just keep working at it, you know, it gives you purpose gives you reason and I love that about it man I love that about like your music too because you can hear it for sure for sure man it's really special it's cool thank you I appreciate that yeah it's a it is it's a crazy thing like loss and it's just so grappling with it is is so different than anything else you've experienced you know and like I feel like with native like natives grow up in funerals you know it's like that's just a part of of who we are.

And it never gets easier, but it's also, yeah, like you said, it's the tools that you can find and the community that you can build. And it's, yeah, it's super. It renders really, really poignant and really beautiful things. And that's why we all have the image of like who we are and the people that raised us and stuff and how much love we have. Because you know what they've been through. Like you just know it's unspoken.

And yeah, it's crazy. I mean, so wild I mean, we talk about funerals a lot on the show, weirdly enough, or I do anyway. Cheyenne and I were kind of laughing before the show because we were talking about all the things that I talk about a lot, but funerals is actually one of them. And that's because

like Indian funerals, like, they're sad, for sure. Don't get me wrong, you know, but like it's like you said, they're different though. Like, there's like a sense of community that comes out there. There's like people you ain't seen in forever. After the burial, late at night, you know, you got the uncle's joking around the fire or, you know,

shying mad at me because I'm trying to leave early or. Yeah, man. There's a lot of pieces there. It's a, it's crazy. It's such a different kind of thing. It is. It's, yeah, I mean, it's the food. It's the, it's the community.

Yeah, no, like, I, one of my, you know, something that really, like, informed the rest of my life was, and it's fucking sad. Like, I say this, but it's also just what it is. Like, that's just what it is. Like, it is what it is. And when I was 10, I lost my uncle and my grandpa in the same week. And I lost my grandpa on my birthday, on my 10th birthday.

And so, and he passed, he passed on a full moon, October 26th, 2007. And my dad passed on September 1st, 2020, also on a full moon. So the full moon is like, it brings a lot to me. Yeah. And about a lot to my family. And so. But that said, I mean, yeah, it was hard. It was a hardest week of my life, one of them.

But yet it was honestly one of the most fun because, like, we were kicking it. I was not in school. We were with all the cousins. We were on the res and we were all hanging out and stuff. And yeah, that's what it is. Like a lot of the community is unfortunately in those situations. But like you said, it's what you make of it. And it's like finding it, there's this kind of really innate support and love that we have for one

another in those times and it comes by way of just getting a bowl of soup getting some frybread um yeah ripping someone like teasing someone or going out for going out for a sig with everybody and it's like yeah i mean those things are so foundational and it's like it's because i think loss and grief and like those are in the it's been it's been such a thing and too you know this is also from a cultural standpoint i think like it's not It's so linear and it's such a circular motion in terms of life and like, like, hojokas and medicine wheels and everything. It's like it's not over after someone is no longer there with you physically.

And that's something I've experienced firsthand. And I can't say that for everybody, but with me with my dad, it's, and other people I've lost too. Like, it's funny. Like, it's just, they don't, it's not over. Your relationship with those who you've lost is not over. It's if it just continues in a different way. And like even with, so that song Blossom, like I wrote that basically about one of my,

he was my best friend and he took his own life when I was when we were 18. Sorry, you hear that, man. And thank you. And like the whole second half of that song is talking about the last time I was ever, like, you know, one of the last times we interacted. And then even in part time indie in my first album, the last song, Grapefruit, it's like me just exploring that stuff. And I realized in those moments of losing him and losing, recently losing my cousin and losing, you know, my uncles and my dad, it's like they invested in my art and they invested in my life and I invested in theirs.

And therefore, when you continue your life after you lose people, it's an extension of the people who helped you get to where you are, you know? And I think that's just a really impactful thing that I've had to internalize. And that keeps you going too. It's like you're living for more people than you think. And that's such a beautiful thing. It's just like you're a continuation of them. And all the lessons that you learn along the way when you instill those in your life, that's an extension of them.

And the way I look physically, I look like my dad. And that's an extension. And the way I tease people. And it's just, yeah, it's all him. It's all the gifts that I've been bestowed. And so, yeah. It's just a super, it's heavy and it's hard, but it's also those things are really beautiful to me. And to have those things in the first place.

It's funny too, right when I lost my dad, like I was on the red eye back to South Dakota. And I was at a loss, obviously. And then I realized, wait, how many of the closest people in my life did not have dads growing up? And it's a lot of them. And I'm like, man, I had one, you know, for 22 years in my life. And it was a dynamic relationship. It was complex, but it was loving at the end of the day. I really cared for him and he cared for me.

You know, the world to him was his children. And so I was, you know, super just gratified and like just, I don't know. It's tough. And it's still grief. It's still hard. But it's those little things, those little nuggets keep me going, you know. No, man, but there's beauty and grief, like you said. There's like special moments that come to you when you're alone, when you think about those people

or when something happens when you get reminded about those people that aren't possible without that grief, you know. And I'm not saying that that replaces that person or that it comes close to that. But, you know, there is some, there is some, I guess, Constellation Prize for it all, right? There is some growth and some beauty that you find there in those, in those hard moments when you're alone. Something that I've said before on the show is, you know, Indians are really good at laughing when it's hard to laugh, you know, like at a funeral or something, right? It's a, we always just make the best of it. And, you know, that's no, that's no exception with what you're describing about that growth and that, that, uh, that love for your craft and for yourself that you're able to find out of that moment.

You know, those are special moments that, like you said, that you're, you know, in a weird way that your dad gave you, right? That my sister's given me because it's happened to me, too, man. You know, weird shit where I just consider these weird things. and it just, you know, there's a lot of, there's a lot of gifts that are still coming to us from these people. Oh, yeah. Yeah, definitely. And like, yeah, it's just never been, it's never been the end when people pass away. It's just, it just continues. And like, there's something that I've heard a lot in Lakota culture, and I'm sure a lot of other tribes can relate where it's like, and I'm sure culture is worldwide. It's like when babies, before. they're you know they start in the spirit world and the when they're you know passed down from a physical standpoint and come into earth but right before then they're every ancestor holds them and whispers things to them and tells them things about the you know family and wisdom and culture

and everything and knowledge and so like with that in mind it's like it's never over it's like it's just an extension of something else and it's non-physical anymore and and you say those things and it's fucking hard to internalize it's very hard to actualize those feelings but i i believe in it i believe in it wholeheartedly it's like these people still are with us and yeah and natives yeah it's a byproduct of that is being very funny and being very humorous and being able to laugh and even that too anyone we've i'm sure everyone everyone that we've lost was probably like hilarious or like knew how to bust it and like my dad included so it's like continuing that stuff and even teasing things he would do and everything

it's like yeah that's what that's what it is and it's yeah crazy yeah it really is man well what what an what an episode man i know you know thanks for uh sharing those stories man these are uh these are good and i'm um i'm glad because i you know your dad sounds cool man i'm glad that i got to hear about them. So that's cool. But also, man, it's just a it's really cool to hear these things, especially so close to like a, of, you know, a personal tragedy just because, I don't know, it's just nice to hear about other people and their experiences and how they've grown from it. It's very hopeful. It's very, I don't know if that's the right word, but it's very better than what we were feeling or what I was feeling before this. Yeah, man, that's really good to hear. And I think

that's something that helped me a lot of the way, which was, yeah, just kind of being able to commiserate with folks who have felt something similar to it. And like, I think it's also like when you're grieving, I mean, grieving is essentially like, I feel like if you treat it as, you know, you might exercise, you might be traveling, you might be working and you're grieving. Like that's, it's something that is coaxing everything, you know, It's something that is above it all. It's just the grief. It's so it's weird.

It's like it's something that like, you know, edges itself into a lot of your life. And so I think embracing it. Yeah, it's embracing it. My friend Riley, she was interviewed recently for a film that she's in. It's called Zola. And I was watching. It's funny.

Like we're friends, but I was just watching her interviews. I was kind of cool. And so I was watching one of her interviews. I forget who it was with. But she was talking about her. brother who had recently passed in July of 2020. And so it's crazy. Like I look at the texts from that time. It was literally me texting her a couple days after her brother passed. I'm so sorry to hear

about your loss. My family and I are praying for you, sending you love. And then the next text was when my dad passed and her sending something similar. And I looked at the text. And even at the time, it was like a day after my dad passed, but it's like, damn, these texts are wild. Like these little the text we've sent with each other. And it's crazy. So we've been able to talk about that too just on a one-on-one basis with grief. But I was watching one of her interviews and they were talking and the interview had asked about her brother who had passed away. And she was like, I'm fine talking about him. Like I'm fine talking about my brother because that you need, that's the way we can process grief. You know, it's something. And she said something really smart and like just beautiful about

grief. It's like a lot of people I feel like, especially in Western culture, it's something that you put away. You know, it's, I lost somebody. We're going to have the services and then put it away. And I think with, with native culture and a lot of just people that I know, I guess, it's like, it's okay to talk about it. Keep it at the forefront. You know, it's like okay to to, to, to, to ruminate on grief and loss and everything. And yeah. Yeah. So. I mean, we all process shit different. It's all different speeds, you know? I worked in someone to health stuff for a little bit. And, you know, that was one of the most weird things to me

is when we tried to rush people through this kind of stuff because it's like it's non-linear, you know? Like, when my sister passed, it was very strange because I got the call at like 3 in the morning that she had an accident. And, you know, so it was very crazy because, like, the next thing I remember is calling my mom and telling her because my mom was out of state. So I had to work to get a hold of her. And, you know, that really sucked.

It was the worst. I'm sorry. I forgot. Damn it. Dude, I do this when I get emotional on the show. I forget where I'm going because I'm trying to fight it off. I'm sorry, man.

I'm trying to. That's a very hard. Before we started. He was like, I'm going to cry. on this episode. Yeah. Fuck you. I did say that.

Yeah. No, I was like, I was talking about it when I was listening to you talk, man. And I was like, you were saying. I can't remember even what you were saying. But it was something like, like I said, super vulnerable and super open and super like on the other show on the native max thing. And I was like, man, we're the same kind of person. You know, like we're like, I'm going to cry because he's going to say something to me that's going to make me cry. and not in a bad way, but because I'm just an emotional, like, goon like that, you know?

So, and it almost came to fruition right there. I'm sorry. You're good, man. Yeah. Man, manifested it. Yeah, I know. Anyway, man, I don't know, man. It's a weird place to leave off, but I also feel like with all the conversation we've had about it,

it's not a bad place to leave off, you know? I don't want to take up more of your evening, so I'm trying to wrap up here. But it's a, you know, it's a weird place. But thank you for, like, bringing us to this place and exploring with us. I think it's important for us right now. And it's a- Yeah, I really appreciated everything that you said. And I think it's something that I needed to hear.

Is Cheyenne still on? It says offline. I'm going to have to, we're going to have to figure it out. I know. I noticed that earlier, too. Okay. I don't know what's going to happen. We'll figure it out.

I've never had that problem. but no as shyan was saying yeah thank you that's something that like she said she needed to hear that's important and for sure something that i needed to hear because like you said that grief isn't i've been feeling the grief from my sister for the past week too because of what happened with shyan right so i've been in a weird spot too and um it's just cool to to have someone that um i don't know has such a good mental age, I guess. You know, you're definitely like, it just seems like you're much more mentally healthy than I am right now. And I appreciate you, you know, holding our hand through this conversation is very cool.

Thank you. No problem, man. That's what, yeah, that's what we're here for. And I think, yeah. And, I mean, it's not, you know, it's something that I still work through a lot. And it's still, it's something. Yeah, it's funny, like, whenever my dreams start to relay images of my dad, I've, like, okay, there's some grieving that I need to encounter, you know?

Yeah. And so, and I think, like you said, too, it's very nonlinear and it's very, it's strange, and it's so imposing sometimes. And it's just, yeah, it's crazy. But I think, like, you know, it's similar to how I think with a lot of people within Indian country. And it extends outside of that. It's like confronting like mental health and just talking about it is such a beautiful thing. And like something that I've been able to like starting therapy at the like top of the year,

that was something that really helped me get through. Because it's funny. Like what I noticed too with grief is like if it's if it's not at least acknowledged, then it will manifest in other potentially destructive ways within your life. It's similar to, you know, what is addiction? It's not, people aren't born addicted to things. It's, they become addicted because there are things that are, they're not necessarily able to address or choosing not to, you know.

And so I feel like with grief, like that was definitely something, bro. Like it was all of 2021 until I had a moment of like, whoa, I'm actually not okay. It was like me feeling like, okay, great, like I'm doing fine. But every time I try to write about it, I would ball. Like I would, I would be a mess. And so it was like I, you know, I'm not, something isn't working here. know what I mean. And so it wasn't until I was able to like really look myself in the mirror and say like these, these are things like. And it's it's, I think, you know, it is too. It's also being like super, super, super, super

super kind to yourself. Like ultimately kind to yourself, like not overextending yourself and understanding like what it is that happened and like being super kind and like loving to yourself. That was something that really made me just completely extrapolate what it is that I needed to work on. It was just being kind to myself because it was super, yeah, it's really easy, especially with like art and being in a very westernized form of creating art and everything and living in a capitalist society. It's really easy to pound out stuff and being saying you're doing good, but like, are you doing good? You know what I mean? And so I think for me that was a thing of where I had to really. have some self-assessment and I'm really grateful for the family and the friends that I had

in that time and that I still have, you know? Yeah. Yeah, because you got to, it's just really important, I think, to really assess things. And yeah, be kind to yourself. Like, man, it's a, it's a journey, but it's also not one that doesn't have to be alone. And it's not because obviously us talking now, us three. Yeah. We've all gone through shit.

And so, yeah, it's just that, like, community. It's that bond and that kinship. And, yeah, you guys are going to be okay. I think you're able to talk and it's going to be a journey. But, yeah. Yeah, for sure, man. It's been a journey already, but I think so, too, man. I think we're going to, I've been, you know,

I've been thinking a lot about the, by the way, I remember what I was going to say about my mom. I was going to say that I wasn't, I couldn't grieve because I had to deal with all that. So I put it off for like a year. And it was like a really, I was a wreck like a year later. It was crazy.

Anyway, um, um, um, shit. Man, this is an episode, man.

Thank you. Um, but, yeah, I, uh, I think we'll be okay too. Cheyenne,

you know, she's gonna, it's gonna suck for a while. But then we'll, we'll, we'll get there. I know we will. And I'm very,

I'm very proud of you. You've done well this week. And I know it's hard. And I'm proud of you too, man. Like, I, and that's like some real shit. Like, it's not, it's not easy to do anything, you know, when you're in the best of places. But to do it when you're in the worst, that's even, that's even more impressive, man. So that's awesome.

And I hope you keep thriving the same way, man, because we need it. You know, we need these, we need these kind of examples. We need these people. to be doing these kind of positive things so that our kids, you know, out here on the Apache Res can see that that shit's possible. Yeah. I know a couple of those kids out in the Apache Res. Were they're adults now, but they were there at some point.

That's awesome, man. Yeah, I appreciate that. That's a really kind thing of you to say. And it's, yeah, I think I'm not trying to put that much weight on you. because I know that's like a lot of pressure but like no no no no I hear what you're saying and I I mean that's it's it's something I look in people like I look up to people so much when they're able to do that type of stuff like I feel like Andre 3000 is one of my favorite rappers and you always know where he's at you know musically because of his specificity and what he needs to say

and Frank Ocean is also one of my favorite artists and recently you know he lost his his younger brother in 2020. And, you know, he's been kind of absent from everything since. And he recently, over the holidays in 2021, like Christmas time, he released this radio show on his, it's called Blondid Radio. And it's him talking with this dude who, you know, is like a, I don't know, thermal gladiator type of dude who does like really cold conditions and stuff. I think they call him Ice Man.

But the whole thing, I mean, even that dude's journey is wild. I would recommend that, honestly. It's on, it's, it's, it's the most recent blondeed Christmas episode. But it's this, it's this guy talking about grief. And it's all, it's all informed by grief. And then Frank, at the end of it, I mean, it's like a 30 minute interview sort of thing. And then at the end of it, Frank just freestyles for eight minutes long to this beautiful, this beautiful, you know, piano piece. it's him talking inherently about loss and stuff.

And it's just beautiful. I'm like, dude, this is someone I have loved for, you know, 11 years of my life, like from a musical standpoint. And here they are compartmentalizing and centering grief and loss and showing me that it's okay to do it in my own stuff. And I was like, God, that's so beautiful. Like, that's what, and it's funny. Like, you talk about the podcast and everything.

Like, you need, like, one person to tell, you that it's helping them and it's that's it you know what i mean and like we've all had that we've all had one person be like yo what you do helps me and it's like fuck it i'm good then like i'm doing something that that is impactful and even if it doesn't help someone it's helping you which is the biggest thing too and so yeah i think what you said is yeah that's really kind and i i need to hear stuff like that and it's it's it's motivational and yeah i love doing that i love helping people heal and like because the best things in my life have came from healing you know yeah exactly those growing moments you know they it's a you know there's a million analogies for it but like you you know

you grow through what you go through you know those those tough moments are really what shine you to be that diamond you're going to become someday um it's tough work though man it ain't that shit ain't easy none of it is but you know I think that because of that work that you've done, you know, we get to have these cool conversations and you get to do stuff like score reservation dogs. And, you know, I'm excited to see what comes up next for all of us because it's, you know, it's going to be some good shit. I know it is.

I know it is. Everyone here's so, yeah, it's good, man. I'm so thankful for you being here. Thank you so much for doing this, man. Yeah, no problem. I'm excited to do it. I'm glad we got to do it. and I'll be keeping your families a lot of my prayers and sending positive energy and everything.

And yeah, man, we're all we got at sometimes. And so I'm happy to do it. And I'm happy you all have an outlet. And yeah, I'm grateful. I mean, I'm just extremely, it's a constant thing of gratitude. And yeah, it's great. I'm excited for what lies ahead as well. And yeah, this is my first podcast, too.

too so that's exciting. This is your first podcast? I've never been on a podcast before. I thought you, like, weren't you talk about, like, during the pandemic,

you were doing podcasts or whatever? No, I was not. I wasn't doing anything. Did I just like, whoa, did I just remember something that didn't happen?

I think so. I've never been on a podcast. This is the first podcast. I've, like, been interviewed, but I've never been on a podcast. Like,

I've never talked of shit on a podcast. Dude, you, you rocked it. This was awesome. I thought, I think this is one of my favorite episodes, and I haven't even edited it yet. It's exactly what I want from the show, man.

You know, just I just want to have fun conversations with the Indians who inspire me, with Indians, not inspire, but who emboldened me to do more, who make me want to do more. You know, because I'm competitive, man. I want to be the best. I want to do more than everyone. And that's not like on some like, I want to be better than you or whatever necessarily. It's just when I see other people grow, I want to grow, you know? When I see other people do good, I want to do it.

good. It's just I love that kind of stuff. So like you doing good and you making these real things, Sterling doing these amazing things, everybody involved makes me want to, you know, do more, makes me want to be better, makes me want to learn to be creative and smart and funny and all these different things, you know. Yeah, man. I mean, I feel the same way. And yeah, you're doing it. I mean, you got like, look, you know, look outside, bro. You got a good people on your stuff and it's it's happening so um yeah i'm the same way though i'm i'm i'm dummy competitive but yeah and it's no it's no metric about some toxic masculinity shit or something it's on it's literally it's literally i want to be the best i can be and that's yeah

that fuels everything i wake up with that mentality like i love it i fucking love it like i i'm so competitive when it comes to stuff and but it's funny too because it's like you you carry your own metric of like success you know and that's what i'm really motivated by like i think from what i could tell from like you and shyanne doing this it's like you want to create the most um successful way of like communicating indigianity and also who inspires you and like you want to make something real and like that's a degree of success and yeah i feel like for me for music it's like i want to make some shit no one's ever heard. I want to make the most like timeless beautiful stuff that I can make. And that's not, it's tough being a musician sometimes too because it's like you need to fold to

like what the business is and stuff like that. But I don't know. I love doing that shit. And I think I, yeah, I'm so competitive when it comes to that. I want to make the best thing. And yeah, I think it's great. I think it's super fun to do that. No, for me, the hardest thing about it all is just the imposter syndrome, the feeling like I shouldn't be doing the shit I'm doing, you know, so that kind of detracts from me being the best I can be, but I'm working on it, man, because I, I want to, man. I so, so want to take off and just be, you know, I'm just ready, you know, I feel it, man. I just need to work through some personal stuff to be able to really put myself in that right place, but I'm getting there, man. I'm trying

real hard because I don't want to, you know, I don't want to, I just don't want to anymore. You know, I want to be better. So, that's the plan. I don't feel you, man. Well, you're doing it. Yeah, thanks, man. And that was a, thanks for saying that. Oh, me too. That was a very, very inspiring.

Thank you. Anyway, man, do you have any closing thoughts or any sort of things you want to say to any Indians that are listening or anything you want to, after that you could do plugs, but any sort of stuff. If not, we could just plugs, but we've been everywhere this episode, so I get it. I know, dude. It's so, I mean, I'm grateful to be a part of it. And I think it's going to help.

help a lot of people, I would imagine. And if not, it helped us. It helped us three literally. Like only, but even so, that's great. No, it's going to do great. Yeah, I mean, closing things. Thanks for listening. I hope my voice was, you know, helpful.

And I just think I'm going where I listen to podcasts. And sometimes I, like, listen to them to sleep and shit or work out and stuff. So, yeah, hope it went well for everybody. And my name is Matoayuhi. That means conquering bear in Lakota. I'm named after conquering bear, chief conquering bear. And, yeah, hit me up on all the socials. It's just my name.

What else? My album, Pleasure, is out. It's been out since 2021. It's fucking dope. Go listen. It's good. Thank you very much. Yeah, that was fun.

That was a good, good album to make, and it was fun. And yeah, I'll be doing some shows here coming up in mid to late, 2022. Yeah, 2020. I don't know why I can't say the 2022. Yeah, weird to say. But anyway, yeah, I'll be doing that and got some stuff coming up. And yeah, it's cool. Grateful to be doing what I'm doing.

And I am just pieces of. of who made me, you know? Yeah. I think it's a beautiful note to end on, man. Thank you so much for doing this. And everyone listening at home, thank you for listening. Have a good night or a day or whatever you're doing.

Natural Causes is a production of Cool Zone Media. For more podcasts from Cool Zone Media, visit our website, coolzonemedia.com, or check us out on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find sources for natural causes listed directly in episode descriptions.

Thanks for listening. I'm Melissa Jeltson, host of the What Happened to Her podcast. We're kicking off the season with the Sandra Birchmore story, a case the police rode off as a suicide in a snowstorm. Her family never bought it, and the man they suspected wore a badge. You never know who that devil is because he's wearing in disguise. Sometimes it's a police uniform. And you can get access to all episodes 100% ad-free with an I-Heart True Crime Plus subscription, exclusively on Apple Podcasts. only to Iheart True Crime Plus subscribers.

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