It Could Happen Here - Trump Rule 34

Episode Date: June 7, 2024

Gare takes Robert and Sophie inside the wild world of Donald Trump pornography.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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And we have Robert and Gare, and I am also here, Sophie. Hi, Gare. We've been chasing the high of the come episode for more than a year. So let's try this. Yeah. So, you know, last week we all got some really exciting news. The rule of law has found Donald Trump guilty on 34 counts. So that's exciting. You can, of course, Google Trump rule 34 to learn more, which was, you know, a joke I saw a lot online.

And then I wanted to actually see what would happen if I did that. And then that turned into like... That's evidence of mental illness. Nobody does that. And then it turned into like five days of work. That's further evidence. So that is what we're doing today. Hey, this is Gare from the future.

Just cutting in to clarify one little aspect. When doing the legal review for this episode, we noticed that we never actually defined what Rule 34 is. Now, I assume if you're listening to this podcast, you know what Rule 34 is. But just in case you do not, Rule 34 is part of the memefied rules of the internet. It originally comes from a 2003 webcomic. But Rule 34 states that if it exists, there is porn of it. Meaning that you can find porn of anything on the internet, whether that be cooking, bowling, or in this case, Donald J. Trump. And, you know, as someone who has just reviewed basically all of the Donald J. Trump pornography that I could find on the internet these past five days,

I did try to keep this episode roughly PG-13. We kind of crossed that boundary a little bit. So I do think it's, you know, probably wise to give some sort of general sexualized content warning here. But again, I tried to keep things as tame as I can, you know, all things considered. Anyway, back to the episode. I started my journey by doing the most obvious thing I could think of, which is opening a virtual PC and using Google through the Tor browser to search Trump rule 34.

No, this is already sounding like a great, great life choice when you have to make all of those steps to search something. Well, because I don't want all of my entire computer and search results just to get completely fucked over for the next week or two. Absolutely. They might just already because this is all in a Google Doc now. So it's already being mined. Yeah. So I'm already fucked. Very similar to the way that we'll be discussing today. Wow. Yeah. So I'm already fucked. Very similar to the way that we'll be discussing today. So, wow.

The first result when you Google Trump rule 34 is the website rule34.xxx. So here we go, just straight to the source. I clicked on the link and as the page loaded, I was shocked by what I saw. Or more accurately, what I didn't see. There was far less Trump porn than what i was expecting that not even like a single full page of results see this is what joe biden's taken from us only 31 pieces of artwork came up in the search results seven of which didn't even feature donald trump and only used three less than the number of felonies he has. That's right. But many of them just didn't even have Trump

and only used his name as like a joke tag for typically some sort of like furry pornography, which is going to be a very common trend for the rest of this episode. Great. So what would you expect the first results to contain on the website rule34.xxx? God, Garrison, I don't even know.

I'm imagining a lot of like, you know how there's those like political cartoons? Like, I forget the guy's name, Ben Garrison, I think it is, who like always draws Trump as like shredded. I guess that's kind of what I expect. There are certainly some of those, but the very first piece features a glossy rendering of Vladimir Putin's head with a quote. This isn't me just quoting myself. I don't know why I said a quote,

but it's what I described as a penal like object looming in front. And I believe this is alluded to be Donald Trump. I feel like the listener needs to know that Garrison, for reasons that surpass all understanding, is wearing a fitted shirt and tie as they explain this to us. This is serious. Which is some ambiance you are not getting as a listener. This is a serious topic for me. I can see that.

See, I was like, I was thinking like trump fucking a flag but um we'll get some flag action later don't worry i'm so glad black june yeah so there we go the next image is actually going to be a little bit more useful in kind of forecasting some trends that we're going to be going over uh the next image is Donald Trump in makeup and lingerie, engaged in some sort of, what I would describe as an interracial cuckold scenario in the White House. Not the best. This is where we're going to

start seeing some worrying trends. And part of the difficulty in this episode was like, I can't just show everyone all this pornography. That would be like an HR violation, and I'm not going to have the editor, you know, cut together weird porn audio. So it's all, I often describe this with word, but I did find one. Hence the tie.

Hence the tie. But I did find one workaround. Is I collected all of the pictures of just Trump's face. Divorced from any other context of the image. I will actually share the picture of his face across some of these artworks. Okay. So here is image number one. Oh.

Honey. Not great. Is that not like a... So this is not... I need to qualify here. This is not like a political cartoon. No. This is somebody trying to get off.

Okay. Correct. Almost none of these are going to be political cartoons great the very last one is but all of these are just just regular artwork i feel like i have to comment on this with a reference that garrison might be several decades past your time but he looks like mrs doubtfire he looks like mrs doubt he looks like robin williams and drag a little bit i would say will say Williams pulls it off a little bit better. Absolutely.

I mean, Robin Williams could pull off anything. I just don't, I just don't think that lipstick works for Trump's complexion. No. And I think it's probably fair. His eye shadows a little heavy. There's definitely some,

some troubling. Hair's looking good. Hair's looking great. Side note is the image framed behind him. Also Trump. Yes, that's him. That's trump as some sort of mussolini type figure because he's got like the roman laurel wreath in his hair he does which i i believe that trump has a photo like that in his house that that actually all right that could be real next one yeah we have to get we have to get through a few of these. So there is multiple tentacle pieces, which I'm sure we could all guess, right? That seems pretty obvious.

There is a drawing of Putin and Trump engaged in what I would describe as old man yaoi, which is... Well, I'm going to need to see that. Two parts. And one of these images is actually animated into a gif. So that's exciting. That's pretty competent, though. You know, I actually kind of like those as caricatures of both men. You really get a lot of personality.

And I do feel like that's how Vladimir Putin looks when he's coming. It's not bad. Oh, I don't think about that. Jesus Christ. Two fun comments underneath this one is, this is actually so hot, hashtag mega, and this is why he isn't our president anymore. Perhaps.

Okay, next. We also have Trump in like a dungeon orgy comprised of horror movie characters and female pop stars. Great. An image posted the day after the election in 2016, there is Trump in his suit, having sex with an anime girl wearing a Confederate battle flag,

bikini and cowboy hat. This is backdropped by a big American flag. And the Confederate girl has a make America great again, but tattoos are getting some kind of conflicting messages there, but this Trump face is really not great i really don't like it see yeah his eyes are really squished together in a lot of these he's giving a thumbs up i would say about half the images he's giving you know you know where that you know where that thumbs about to be right like that's part of what makes this unsettling to me i really appreciate in this

one that it for his fingerprint it's just like a spiral swirl yeah that's this yeah not the best one read us some comments the comments for this one are quite good quote i want to see more thick or flat blonde waifus wearing a cowboy hat i want to help make america to be great this turned me on bigly and frankly okay now garrison you you've you've buried the lead which is that i want to help america to be great was posted by hex maniac underscore poke whore yeah i'm guessing this is some sort of pokemon obsessed slut witch that's that's kind of how I'm taking this. Many such cases. Quite frankly, made my peepee huge.

And if people say this is not pretty, they are wrong. They are working for the socialist, globalist Democrats and Chinese government. It's impossible to know if that's a joke. We have a really interesting one by an artist named Lgl eing as how i'm going to say it sorry there's also the last post on that is why is the cock discolored yes the last comment for the confederate for the confederate girl one is why is the cock discolored which is quite funny but we have the next one is actually a three panel spread. First is a Democrat donkey fursona. The second part is a floating Donald Trump elephant head with like a propeller extending out at the top

and a robot hand coming out of the trunk, reaching for the donkey's ass. Lastly, the Trump elephant now has an extendable boxing glove trunk and is flying victoriously over the donkey Democrat with a black eye. See, I liked this more before we got into like domestic abuse territory. No, this is we're going to get into a lot of problematic aspects. I will just say now, if you don't want to listen to some some kind of deeply troubling psychosexual themes develop over the course especially once we get to the ao3 section okay you know um okay sorry we need to talk about this post by user trash fucker yeah i don't i wow okay so this the comment the comment

for the donkey fursona one says quote i, I love you and your art, though this really represents how that orange treated women and how he assaulted them by grabbing their genit-tests. Genit-tests? Beautiful art, beautiful styles. Thank you. If you can't spell genitals, you're not allowed to grab them. That is the law of the world. Reading that post, I want more than anything to have Trump comment on some of these. Oh, absolutely.

Get him up on the podium talking about this beautiful art, beautiful styles. They're saying it's the most beautiful donkey pornography anybody's ever made on the dark web. anybody except for made on the dark web a really bad one is a cartoon of milo ianapolis uh having sex with a hashtag never trump orthodox jew who might be ben shapiro i can't tell please please scroll please until he supports building the wall as then uh so as this is happening on the background a yassified trump is sitting on the wall giving a thumbs up. This is by a Nazi cartoonist named Emily Yousis. Here is yassified Trump giving a thumbs up. He sure is, man. Those cheeks are appled.

It's the only way I know how to describe him. Where is Milo Yiannopoulos? Sophie, I don't think I can show you that image because it'll be in HR. I can't show you that part because there's too much stuff going on. Okay, send it to me on signal later i need to sophie that's an hr violation you're not allowed to ask garrison that i don't think i barely look i i don't i don't have a great recall of the of the hr course we have to take every year about sexual harassment but i'm sure that you are both in violation of

company policy. Robert, that is because you're like two years behind on all of your mandated work trainings. I get a notification in my email twice a day that Robert hasn't done some legally required training.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure you are both in violation of our company's hr policies probably probably but these trump drawings just get keep getting more bizarre there's a really good one of an octopus donald trump getting intimate with a furry fox and cat all right well i do want to see that with the comment posted under from what i've known trump doesn't support these kind of things that's probably true i don't think he'd be thrilled about that uh so there's a few other furry ones uh notably one with trump grabbing the buttocks of a wild cat with some with very small hands and one of a sexy trump plowing down fluttershy in front of an american flag oh god sorry that makes sense yeah it's bad

uh quote guess i'm not the only mega brony out there also quote i want to end my life sorry also quote i want my life to end right fucking me too honey me too same bro that's that's like a lot of trump back i did not need to see that much of his sophie there's so much more trump back i um anyway so results for donald j trump specifically produced a handful of new images uh one really bad one of trump groping a family guy character which family guy but which Family Guy character, Garrison? I've never seen Family Guy. It's some woman. Come on. There's also a cartoon.

Some woman. Okay, great. I'm sorry. Is that his face as a ball sack? No, that's just his face, Sophie. Yeah, that feels like, that does feel like some kind of like standard lib political cartoon Trump drawing.

It does. He's covered in bronzer. His hair is a bit. I's also a cartoon of a of a naked very very buff well-endowed donald trump flexing while holding a cigar sitting in his armchair which has the really good comment his thumb is on the wrong side which it is that's that's true i just want everyone to know that garrison has pg'd these for us they're like pg-13 so we're not seeing anything no no this is this this is all this is all above board one of the worst ones in my opinion is a very very steamy rendering of a blushing trump looking behind toward the viewer with his butt pushed into the foreground mega is written across

the cheeks in the upper left corner is a close-up of a smooth scrotum and stretched out hole see garrison when it comes to hr violations i feel like you can't say stretched out hole i think that's forbidden on a company call i don't think you're allowed to say i tried to really turn the script into like the most like academic wording I can. There are text bubbles of Trump conversing with the viewer. Trump says, you will vote for me after this, right? With the viewer responding, yeah, sure. So they can't even hit the board.

They can't even get someone excited about this election. Extra text with an arrow pointing to Trump reads ineligible to run again this piece has by far the highest number of horny comments underneath the image now i think the the actual worst one i discovered is a happy international men's day cartoon of trump wearing an american flag thong standing on top of a box of nobel peace prizes with thank you for censoring that jesus with the steven with the steven universe character uh pearl in a bikini holding on to Trump, rubbing her leg against his thigh. See, and I don't feel like Pearl would do this. No, no.

So Pearl has a text bubble saying, forget women. I only make love to real men now. Now, I wanted to learn more about why this image exists. The artist behind this creation is named Luke Weber, and he actually used to work on the show Steven Universe as a storyboard artist. Oh, God. So this is canon. Luke, no. Luke had a really unhealthy obsession with the lesbian character Pearl and would often waste time at work by drawing really horny art of himself and Pearl in a relationship. Oh, God. Some of his art of him and Pearl would include other co-workers like Ian Jones-Quartey and show creator Rebecca Sugar. He allegedly gave Rebecca Sugar a drawing of him having sex with Pearl,

which allegedly got him fired from the show, among many other reasons. And he's been blacklisted from large parts of the animation industry for sexual harassment and violence. Oh. Well well that was much worse than i thought it was going to be yeah that i was like this is bad novice is really fucked up ew what a piece of shit so yeah there's this there's there's some bad stuff now i saved the best for last there's a small collection of pieces riffing on that picture of trump playing tennis where he looks all quote-unquote caked up. One with Trump in his tennis outfit is bending

over pants down crack out with a variation featuring two large, what I'm going to call dark skinned penises. I think Trump interracial bottoming is a trend that we'll see reoccurring here. Of course. Now, however, I believe the superior tennis piece is from an artist named Shad Base, who might be a Nazi or just pretends to be one online. Cutting in here to do a quick correction. So originally in this episode, I identified Shadbase as a trans woman, which is not the case. The reason why I thought this is because the most recent picture appearing to be Shadbase on his Twitter account from like a year ago is him as a trans woman talking about getting on estrogen. ago is him as a trans woman talking about getting on estrogen. Now, this was actually part of an ongoing joke that I just didn't have the context for, as he's like a really scummy and deeply

problematic artist who I did not feel like doing a whole deep dive on. So apologies for that, and back to the episode. But she has drawn Trump in the same pose as the famous photo, but as an anime girl wearing a transparent tennis skirt with the comments underneath saying, I'd vote for her and I don't have enough weed for this shit. Nobody does. That's what I was about to say about this recording. Yeah. But you know what we do have, Sophie?

An ad break? An ad break, yeah. So we can all consume substances to get through the rest of this. And I'll consume substances to get through the rest of this. Hey, guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Run High is all about.

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, we are back. Now, the most interesting thing I found on Rule 34 is a political comic by a guy named Larry Welt who makes this thing called Cherry Comics. He's like an old hippie cartoonist. This is a long comic by a guy named Larry Welt who makes this thing called Cherry Comics. He's like an old hippie cartoonist. This is a long-running series. But these collection of panels are about a group of women

using quote-unquote weaponized sex to bring down Donald Trump. One page depicts the main character, Cherry, breaking into the White House like a quote-unquote sex ninja to quote, fuck them to death, unquote. One plotline has Cherry using her love powers to make all of the riot police at a 2020 protest take off their riot gear and start having gay sex with each other through the power of love.

Now, in the main panel, Cherry seduces a very unflattering Trump from the bushes of a golf course, quote, grab some, uh, this P word, pretend I'm your daughter, unquote. She gets Trump to chase her naked through a golf course, and when he's about to grab her, she disappears with the accompanying

onomatopoeia twink, which I think is completely unintentional. Trump falls naked into a face full of mud. I think this comic is actually good natured, but it's still kind of really problematic and very boomer. Pretend I'm your daughter, so they're like rooting for Trump to incest sophie there is a lot we will get to this there is a lot of ivanka trump weird incest shit it is deeply upsetting like i said i put the content

warning further up because there's gonna be some really bad psychosexual shit that i tried to really like clean up here but, this like boomer hippie cherry comic thing is really weird because it's very like nominally liberal, but it also has like really like classically racist cartoon depictions of black people. Oh, great. It's just, it's just a lot. Anyway, so, but again, I was kind of surprised that tags for Trump only returned like a few, a few Trump images. When I searched just quote unquote Trump on rule 34, most of the results were for a furry Japanese web comic that's over 120 pages.

Because I think the artist just goes by the name Trump. He's completely unrelated. And I was really just expecting more stuff. I checked DeviantArt and it was largely barren of Trump themed not safer work images. Now, just as I was about to give up and I thought maybe that's not enough for an episode. My,

my primal zoomer brain activated. It's like, it's like something deep in my core knew what had to be done. My primal zoomer brain. That's when I logged into the website archive of our own. Oh no. The most popular fan fiction website on the internet. There are over 1,700 works titled tagged with

Donald Trump sounds like the right number now not all that's porn or erotica right so I had to really whittle down the results based on my own judgment and to my own tastes now I had a very specific focus on the genre of old man yaoi which conveniently was also what the majority of the trump centric works that were like rated m and explicit could be categorized as of course they were so let's start our journey by going over the most popular donald trump relationship pairings and any guesses for what the first one is like donald trump x like who oh you know what i'm gonna swing for the fences here and say condoleezza Rice. Sorry. Wrong.

Yeah, that was always a long odds. I mean, unfortunately, I kind of think it's probably Ivanka. It is not. It's not Ivanka. Ivanka and Hillary had very few, so few that they're not even notable and not even in my list. The number one pairing for Donald Trump trump is joe biden with 192 works you know that's what we deserve as a country the number two is vladimir putin with 104 wait number three okay number three is shrek with 34 works sorry that that's right that is number four number four is sh Shrek. Number three is Barack Obama with 37 works.

Well... That's less Obama than I expected. I'm going to be honest. Yeah, that was my point. Number five is Kim Jong-un with 24. That's okay. That's the exact number of Kim Jong-un ones I expect. We have 12 works that are titled Donald Trump X Reader.

Seven of them are Trump and Jesus Christ. Six are Donald Trump, Kanye West. Five are Adolf Hitler, Donald Trump. And two are Teletubbies and Donald Trump. 41 works are titled as or tagged as bottom Donald Trump. Wow. Wow. Far outnumbering the numbers where he tops.

I'm actually really surprised by only seven for Jesus because I've seen a lot. I'm kind of curious about the Jesus ones. Robert, I have great news for you. Oh, good. Oh, good. Now, we don't have the time, nor do I have the willpower to go through each and every one of these. So instead, I'd like to highlight some of the plot summaries, tags, and select paragraphs that caught my eye to give you a taste of the horror that I've gazed upon.

I'll start with one of the newest entries in the canon titled Donald Trump Prison Era. I'm going to start with a time skip. Quote, it's been four years since Trump was re-jailed. Him and his friends were locked in the safest, most desolate place in the prison. They may not have freedom, but at least they have each other. During those four years, Ben Shapiro was thrown in the prison. They may not have freedom, but at least they have each other. During those four years, Ben Shapiro was thrown in prison too. He was very silent about what he had done, and therefore

distanced himself from everybody. I don't know what he did, but he must have done something to ruin him as a person, Warren Buffett said. And everyone nodded. Is Warren Buffett there? Is he one of Trump's friends? We have each other at least. We'll be fine in this jail, elongated Muskratrat said trump was cuddling

with andrew tate in the corner unquote what why this is the closest i've come for feeling bad for andrew tate i i for the record i still don't feel bad for andrew tate another one uh which is trump x reader The summary is, quote, it began four years ago when you saw him on TV during the presidential inauguration. You were laying on your bed

listening to country music on you American bed sheet. Suddenly, you saw his big, handsome orange face and you knew he had to be yours. So in this one,

the reader gets to, gets to marry or get with Trump in some way and then you kind of like plan the January 6th insurrection together. So that's a fun one. Great. There's a really good one titled Trump-Pauly Relationship with the tags Joe Biden, Barack Obama, Obama-Donald Trump, Joe Biden-Donald Trump, Sonic the Hedgehog, enemies to lovers. Obama, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, Donald Trump, Sonic the Hedgehog, enemies to lovers.

See, I feel like only Sonic the Hedgehog of that group has the communication skills necessary for a successful polyamorous relationship. There's another one that's tagged as Donald Trump, Kanye West, BoJack Horseman. Of course. I feel, you know, BoJack would. You get him drunk enough, he'd get on with that. And there's really like, there's two big genres here.

There's the genre that's just, like, regular smut, where you feel like someone's just, like, controlled F to all of the names and, like, just, like, switched it around. Versus the fanfics that are entrenched in world building, that integrates erotic literature with the world of Donald Trump. And those are the ones I like to focus on more because you know it's not- The Trump-centered erotic universe.

Exactly. You know it's not just someone control effing just like a regular sex scene. I want it to actually like, I want it to have lore. I want world building. I need to be connected to an extended universe. Is this leading us to what the story titled Donald Trump's monstrous dick that you've put in this document?

No, I'm going to skip over that one, actually. We don't have enough time. Oh, okay. This is just a woman talking about how she finds his orange shiny body attractive, which there's a lot of that kind of stuff, right? I'm going to instead go to Where the Wind Blows by Just Andamlum 3. Summary, Joe Biden is a 17-year-old senior who happens to be top of his class, known as the perfect straight A capable student to friends and family. But what happens when a new student who got kicked out of his old school for fights gets partnered up with him for tutoring? Oh my gosh.

I'm actually going to skip to chapter two, titled, What the Sigma? Oh no. Oh no. Oh my God. Quote, after about two hours, they finished their study session.

Joe went out to a cafe with his childhood friends, Barack and Barry the Bee Benson. Just imagine Barry the Bee to be six feet tall. The three of them talk at a booth inside when the bee to be six feet tall. The three of them talk at a booth inside when the topic of Donald is brought up. Joe! Bro!

Dude! I heard that Donald got kicked out of his old school for selling illegal stuff and getting into three fights per week at least, Barry said in a hushed tone. Has he tried to hurt you at all? Do you need help? Is he meeting up with a secret gang or something? Barry uttered under his breath as his wings slightly flapped.

What the fuck? So he's a literal B. Wait, so no, no, no, no, no. Barry B, the B Benson is the Jerry Seinfeld B movie B, correct? I'm not. Wait, no, really? I'm not joking, Robert. Yes, yes.

We got back to the fucking B movie somehow. What is Jerry's? I can't escape Jerry Seinfeld. No matter where I go, he's always there. Even in Trump pornography, Jerry follows me. Barry, you're overreacting, Brock said, as he rubbed the inner of his eyes with his pointer fingers. I'm sure Joe can handle himself.

He's almost 18. Besides, can we talk about something else like how drake and kendrick got caught making out under the bleachers i'm pretty sure they hated each other just three weeks ago or at least kendrick hated drake after he dated the freshman unquote there's one called election day where uh shrek tries to prevent you from voting and trump shows up as like a superhero there's some like isis jokes refugee jokes anyway there's yeah there's some there's some funny lines in here to be sure it is donald trump who is your hero his intense alpha stare disintegrates the rest of shrek's body

leaving you covered in dot dot dot donald pulled his pants back on. Yeah. Great. So, you know. Yeah, anyway. There's a really troubling one titled Under the Crooked Lamp, which is tagged with American history fandom, World War II fandom, Nazi Germany fandom. The summary is, quote, short smut about Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump with cameos from Barack Obama and Kanye West.

So there you go. Now, one of the most popular Donald Trump fanfics is titled A Donald Trump Story. Quote, I walked past the door to the Oval Office. No, my office, my house, finally, the White House, the only race that should be here, unquote. So not off to a great start. Throughout this fic, Trump falls in love with a Mexican architect that he hired to build the wall. Oh, good. That's the whole bit. Now, Robert, I know you said you were interested in Jesus Christ.

Of course. Yeah. Who is it? Yeah. He is kind of popular. He's our lord and savior. Yeah. The most popular Jesus Christ one I could find is called Jesus X Trumpussy.

Sure. is called Jesus X Trump Pussy. Sure. The summary is Trump kicks the bucket and has a very interesting surprise waiting for him. Chapter one, Trumpy Dumpty meets Sky Daddy. Oh, boy. Oh, my God. I'm so worried about our society.

So Trump gets assassinated and to his surprise gets sent to heaven. He thought he was going to be going to hell with gay people and Hillary Clinton. But instead, Jesus is waiting for him. And Jesus says, be prepared for the ride of your life or death. You are a bad little slut on earth and it's time for you to pay for your sins, my little Trump pussy. I hope you're ready. I kind of hate that they stole my catchphrase. Now, by chapter seven, Donald Trump is pregnant.

There's eight chapters in this. By chapter seven, Donald Trump is pregnant. That's all you need to present to get someone 5150'd. Like, that's an involuntary mental health hold right there speaking of pregnancy there's a very popular or the most popular go to an ad break speaking of pregnancy speaking of pregnancy porn the most popular donald trump x adolf hitler one is titled warp tour a great place for home of Hobbes to meet hot guys. It's set at this music festival. That is true about Warped Tour. It's not wrong. Where Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump are both there to like disrupt like a gay concert. And they have

like a little meet cute. Trump invites invites Hitler back to the back to his hotel room to come up with new plans for how to try to harass gay people. And it ends with Adolf Hitler being impregnated. But Trump is not a supportive parent. So Joseph Goebbels has to help deliver the child with Hitler instead of Trump. Well, you know, I gotta say, at least they get the personalities right. Because Joseph is the kind of guy who would come in at the clutch like that to help Hitler deliver his lust baby. There's two decently popular Trump ex-Biden ones that are set during presidential debates, one of which they fuck backstage. And I don't think...

5,000 hits. Okay, no one gets pregnant in this one. But there are certainly others. So there's one where they have sex backstage and then there's another one where they have sex on stage and chris wallace is moderating someone should let him know oh and and then in chapter two donald trump gives birth because he got he got impregnated on stage yeah i think g think Garrison, you need to do your job as a journalist. And we need to we need to reach out to Chris Wallace and and ask theoretically, would he narrate Donald

Trump's sex with Joe Biden if they if they were to do that on stage? How does he feel about that? I will go to the very last one with 65,000 hits by far the most popular Donald Trump kind of erotica smut on the whole website. It's called Go Fuck Yourself Donald Trump by Orphan underscore account who's actually written a few of the ones that we've talked about here today. 65,000 views. Yeah.

Published in 2017 just before inauguration day. Quote, another person told me to go fuck myself today, Donald Trump told his strong Russian lover, Vladimir Putin. I want to, but it's impossible. There's only one of me. So the first paragraph is about how Putin forces Trump to eat three tubs of Crisco a day.

It's basically just body shaming for the majority of this piece. Sounds like feeder porn, too. Yes, totally. And then Putin presents a clone of Donald Trump. Quote, his hands met soft clammy skin thank you daddy trump eagerly began kissing his clone pushing his tongue past slack lips until i learned to respond to him each hungrily tried to devour the other their bodies writhing against each other tears rolling down their faces in unison as they realized that neither one could ever fill the empty void that they felt inside. So that is my extremely abridged version of my AO3 adventure.

And unfortunately, I do have one more section, but it's a bit shorter, that we will get to after the break for some of the more, I would say, mainstream Trump pornography that can be found on the internet. Finally. Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast Post Run High is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I found out I was related to the guy that I was dating. I don't feel emotions correctly. I am talking to a felon right now, and I cannot decide if I like him or not. Those were some callers from my call-in podcast, Therapy Gecko. It's a show where I take real phone calls from anonymous strangers all over the world as a fake gecko therapist and try to dig into their brains and learn a little bit about their lives. I know that's a weird concept, but I promise it's pretty interesting if you give it a shot.

Matter of fact, here's a few more examples of the kinds of calls we get on this show. I live with my boyfriend and I found his piss jar in our apartment. I collect my roommate's toenails and fingernails. I have very overbearing parents. Even at the age of 29, they won't let me move out of their house. So if you want an excuse to get out of your own head and see what's going on in someone else's head, search for Therapy Gecko on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's the one with the green guy on it. Black Lit, the podcast for diving deep into the rich world of Black literature. I'm Jack Peace Thomas, and I'm inviting you to join me and a vibrant community of literary enthusiasts dedicated to protecting and celebrating our stories.

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and to bring their words to life. Listen to Blacklit on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right. We are so back. We have never been more back. So I've been to, you know, the regular Zoomer places, right? We have like, you know, DeviantArt type stuff. We have AO3. And then I realized that boomers also watch porn. So I went to the two most popular porn websites, something I've never done before. Brave.

And I, there's only around 30 trump centric videos across both sites now there is a decent number of like repeat uploads right and there's some videos that are just cut into shorter clips from longer scenes but there's only about 30 source videos that i could find across the two top porn sites question is it be is it because they're being censored or is he friends with somebody that no it's just it's just not the most popular thing. Interesting. Now, I would argue Trump is probably one of the more sexualized presidents we've had in recent years. Because of who he is, not because of his sex appeal.

Not because of how he looks, but because of his personal background. And all of his very obvious sex crimes, right? We can go with like Bill Clinton, but like Trump is so much more sexualized than like Bush or Obama. It's kind of interesting. And yet very few materials on these sites. Now-

So weird. There's a few different types here. We have animated ones, which is what I first went through. Some of these are just like voiceover clips of someone playing a porn game and doing voiceover for dialogue. Now, all of these are narrated in one take and it's these are just voiceover clips of someone playing a porn game and doing voiceover for dialogue. Now, all of these are narrated in one take

and it's very clear the voiceover person has not reviewed the material at all prior to the recording because they will often end sentences at the wrong spot, breaking the flow of the dialogue. So, that is one genre. There is a really upsetting one

titled, Stormy Danielsiels x trump cartoon hentai cosplay milf with 11 000 views which has the worst most creepy looking playstation 2 level what is happening holy oh god he looks like a corpse but also is little like clinton like these these 3d models are fucking in what looks like a college dorm room trump is wearing his suit jacket and red tie with leather shoes but nothing else and something i can't show you but i found really upsetting is that his legs are about as twice as big as his body, but with tiny feet. Like, his legs are so much wider than the rest of him. They're huge. It's really concerning.

And I don't think it's on purpose. It's just like a really bad 3D model. So weird. Yeah, that's upsetting. In one of the video game type ones, when Trump is orgasming, he says, ah, bing, bing, bong, bong, bing, bing, bing.

I just thought I should include that. You and me both, buddy. Big, big, bonging bong bong bing bing bing um i just thought i should you and me both buddy big bong bong indeed i know so on to live action uh the first i have the first live action one is a bit of an outlier it is titled donald trump parody clip smoking and drinking in the oval office lol with about 2600 views it's a woman cosplaying a gender-bent Trump and just like casually monologuing at the camera for like 18 minutes. At one point, she takes off her suit jacket and unbuttons her shirt,

but not in like a striptease way. At 11 minutes in, she quote unquote, rubs one out, her words, while continuing the half-in-character ranting. It's kind of a weird outlier, but I thought to mention it. Now, onto the two major genres of Trump porn porn the first one being the debate orgy donald trump and hillary clinton fucking bernie sanders and megan kelly parody this one has a combined total of over

of of almost eight million views leave bernie alone jesus christ this is the most popular donald trump pornographic work on the internet oh no, no, the Bernie they got's kind of hot. I think we're good. This one, oddly enough, focuses on Bernie more than Trump. I think because the Bernie actor... That's because he's more fuckable. Because the Bernie actor did a really good job. Okay.

And also, this was like a live stream that's been edited together into a video. So the audience on the chat was responding to bernie moore so he got way more of the attention yeah he just oozes charisma the sound quality is terrible right now robert jesus the sound quality is terrible everyone's slowly reading off scripts and not even trying to hide it at all uh trump says he's going to build a wall around mexico and install one big glory hole which isn't how a glory hole works. No, I mean, it could be. Hillary is asked if she thinks she might fall to the same infidelities as her husband. And Hillary explains that the Clinton family has a rule that whatever happens in the Oval Office doesn't count, unquote. That actually might be a Clinton family rule.

All of the actors, except for Bernie, look really uncomfortable the entire time. At one point, they switched to like an unscripted Q&A section using like the live stream. Why? And it all reads

like high school improv, but obviously like not with high schoolers, not for high schoolers. But just like, it is so awkward. About halfway through the 20 minute video,

Megyn Kelly asks Trump if he would like to improve his personal rating among married women as they start having sex. And then Hillary says, quote, I'd rather fuck the party than the enemy and calls on Bernie. There is a lot of feel the burn jokes in here. So many. There's a couple of good bits there. Feel the burn jokes in here. So many. There's a couple of good bits there.

We should figure out that Bernie actor, though. Get him on the pod. Honestly, I would love to interview this guy. Bring him on staff. The second most popular one is titled Erection 2016. Donald Drumpf fucks Hillary Clinton during a debate. It has over 5 million views. Once again, we start with a build-a-wall bit, but this time it's Hillary who makes a move on Trump.

The third most popular one is called a cream pie debate. This is the grossest one in the entire collection. It has three and a half million views. Of course it does. Much more accurate ages, but the impressions are really bizarre. Like, they all have like weird accents i can't quite tell where they're from uh but they all sound they're almost certainly somewhere in eastern

europe no they're they're american now uh uh why is that more upsetting to me trump waves around a gun on the debate stage talking about how hillary wants to take away the second amendment he points the gun at her threatens to blow the wench away because she's trying to rig the election the wench the wench that's that's a quote wench and okay calls her crooked hillary with quote-unquote crooked genitals you know he actual trump might say that at some point but you can kind of see how the video will develop from here right right now i was not prepared for how racist it would get trump gets like this this like dark dildo and he starts screaming and growling in like a really upsetting fashion there's a whole bunch of really racist comments uh hillary implies that she took part in all of bill's sexual growling it's the best it's the best word i could find to describe this yeah i think i think i get

what garrison's i was gonna say i noted don't expand uh yeah hillary talks about how she took part in all of bill clinton's sexual escapades and then uses a strap-on on donald trump but it's simulated they don't actually do it in the clip so minus points for that the actor for trump makes some really interesting faces and at the end of the video, Hillary shoots out Trump's votes from her ballot box, which covers Trump's face in the rejected votes, which he wipes off with an American flag, something that multiple commenters took great offense to. Not the rest of the video, but the fact that he wipes it off with an American flag seemed to really upset some people. Now, the guy that made this created four other Trump-themed

porn videos. Deep Throat Diplomacy, where Trump bribes the president of Mexico to pay for the wall by offering a, quote, beautiful white woman who happens to be Trump's daughter, Ivanka. He makes another Ivanka one called Bobblehead Butt Plug, which I think is pretty self-explanatory. The third one is Trump and Obama's daughter, which I skipped through mostly because it was really gross. And the last one's called Cuckold Trump, with, again, three and a half million views.

And this one has President Obama and the Secret Service breaking into Trump Tower, where Trump and Melania are sleeping in bed, and then a cuck scene unfolds. Once again, very racist. We're nearing the end. I can see the tunnel at the end. We're now going to get to the last debate one called Donald Trump in the White House. This is going to be huge, with only a quarter of a million views, pretty low, but 70% upvoted. So there you go. Now, in this one, Trump is doing a solo debate by himself, kind of predicting how he would handle the Republican primary in 2024.

Ahead of its time. But in the context of the video, it's basically just a journalist that's interviewing him. So after some like, you know, very, very typical, haha, Trump is racist type jokes, the skit turns oddly poignant where Trump kind of starts whispering and says, quote, I'm using my ranting billionaire charm to win you over. First, I'm going to tell you that America is really lost and I'm the one to find it. And then you will be drawn to all of my ideas like a very special episode of Shark Tank. And then I will tell you how all the other candidates are stupid, idiotic morons. And you'll be left wondering, is he trying to get his subreddit banned or is everything he's saying really what he means? Now let's have sex as I whisper racist comments into your ear.

Unquote. This Trump actor, the hair is too orange. The hair is too orange. Everything's too orange. He's really orange. They're really into making him orange. But the hair is just way too red. So that's the that's the like

the main category which is like these like debate ones but there's a second category which is almost equal in numbers and this is this is the last genre of work we'll be talking about and it's the one i find the most telling it's it's they're all a very distinct type of like amateur video of a man in a low quality trump mask getting beaten up domed pegged interrogated or otherwise humiliated by women now these these have anywhere from like 400 views to 25 000 views so they're watched less but the people that are making them seem really passionate we have titles like trump gets Gets Donkey Punched by Two Sexy Women, 100% Real, 60 FPS, 1080p.

100% Real. Or Make America Beg Again, Kick My Ass, President Trump. And I think most evidently, Two Beautiful Femdoms, Humiliate, Feminize, and Peg, Sissy in Donald Trump Mask. So, okay, do you want to see the collection of masks before or after i talk about this genre i'm gonna save it for after never mind i'm gonna save it

for after so i've i've gone through like these these three different kind of mediums here in this in this episode right we have we have uh like the drawn art we AO3 fanfic, and we have this more classic pornography live action stuff. And each of these has different aspects that I believe are clearly tied to the medium, right? Like furry stuff for drawn art, the largely homosexual pairings of AO3, and the normie hetero misogyny of classic pornography. But I'm more interested in when some of these kind of medium- specific aspects intersect and how that might tell us something about what's really going on here. So based on all the evidence I reviewed the past five days, I'm going to split the Donald Trump pornographic catalog into two main kind of thematic sections, the two genders, if you will. First, we have Trump, the strong man, right? This is either propagated by people on the right who genuinely admire Trump as a dominant dictator, and thus displaying sexual submission to him is a righteous duty or a sign of respect or a quest for validation.

men framing can also be used and i would argue more perversely by liberals in some form of like a post-irony desire for subjugation stemming from a like a neoliberal disenfranchisement or like neoliberal nihilism having a like a freudian father figure you deeply despise strengthens the taboo aspect of repressed desire for the inherent domination of authoritarianism i think the the uh master slave kink is very common in the Trump AO3 fix, presumably, you know, mostly written by people on the left. And this type of thing, I think, can be vulgarly tied to, like, the Lord Bondsman dialectic at play in this sort of politic, which is, like, defined by and desiring what you cannot be. So we have that, plus all, like, the fucked up yet very common incest framing,

strengthens these kind of psychoanalytic links. But enough of that babble. To contrast Trump the strongman, the other major category is Trump the defiled, which is exceedingly popular on Rule 34, AO3, and this kind of later category of femdom porn videos. This is like a revenge fantasy. It's uncaring in its embrace of problematic tropes, so long as Trump is symbolically stripped of what signals his status of power. This often includes a misogynistic embrace of social norms that reflect authoritarian patriarchy. Trump is feminized, mostly through actions, to signal that he is lesser, right? He's emasculated, penetrated, dominated, assaulted,

and very often impregnated. Even death is no escape, for in the afterlife, Jesus Christ continues the holy work of Trump's psychosexual humiliation. The hope is that the catharsis will be found in putting the image of Trump through the types of things that the actual Trump has done to others, perhaps with some kind of perverse pleasure in this role reversal of now being the one to subject Trump to such experiences, even through fiction. Now, I'm not necessarily saying all this stuff is bad, but there are plenty of materials that I've reviewed that I do object to. But this mostly does fall under the guise of play and kink, which can be valid and often useful ways of sorting through psychosexual or psychological affairs. And obviously, throughout a lot, if not most of these these works there is a large comedic element but i think such comedy is still

underpinned by some of these maybe deeper motivations and to to detox from that rant here's a collection of really uncomfortable trump mask pictures which oh my i i have so many i have so many of these i have a whole collage a whole collage of this it's really upset i've got hr on the other line here so we're gonna we're gonna actually swing over to a separate zoom call to to talk through some of this these look so bad it's the i heart daddy shirt with the horrible trump mask it's so bad no it's like it's weirdly transmisogynistic for all of all of these ones in the mask it's just there's a deep there's a deep uncanny he looks like he looks so bad david bowie he does bottom once like it looks like the thin white duke if the thin white Duke like, Oh God,

got Coke bloated or something. Terrifying stuff. I, I will, I will post some of these mask images onto Twitter. So you can check that on, uh, at hungry bow tie.

I will, I will reply once this episode drops with, with these awful, with these awful collages I've created. Anyway, uh, Robert, what,

what do you think about all this Trump porn? Again, i think we're all going to get fired for doing this episode i think this has crossed every professional line that exists but good work other than that i was gonna say i think yours deserves a really big raise i was i was really proud i was able to sneak in a little bit of hagel there at the end i was i was i was really proud I was able to sneak in a little bit of Hegel there at the end. I was really proud of that one. I can say one thing for sure. We can do a follow-up that's all of the Hegel porn. Really curious as to how much of that you can find. What's exciting about this entire thing is Trump would fucking hate it,

just like he hates all of his followers in his core. Many such cases. Well, thank you for joining us on this deeply disturbing journey. I love to see it. Don't do this. Thankfully, you only have to listen to it. You only have to listen to me explain it now.

So now you don't have to fulfill this curiosity that I know has been bubbling in a lot of you. So there you go. And check back in next week. We'll be covering all of the best Hegelian pornography that the internet can provide take a long weekend hi everyone it's me james and i just wanted to read you this today i'm going to put it in our episode this week because it's a cause that's

important to us and so we thought it would be something that might be important to you too as well on the 10th of june 2024 leonard pier, an enrolled member of the Turtle Band of Chippewa of Lakota and Ojibwe ancestry, and the longest serving political prisoner in the United States, will be appearing before the U.S. Parole Commission for the first time since 2009. He faces staunch opposition from the FBI and other law enforcement agencies due to having allegedly killed two FBI agents in a firefight on the 26th of June 1975, after the agents appeared on reservation land to execute a pretextual warrant. The initial firefight occurred during the

quote, reign of terror on Pine Ridge in the wake of the occupation of Wounded Knee, a time of extreme violence when federal law enforcement installed a puppet tribal chair and was arming vigilantes who targeted indigenous traditionalists. Everything leading up to these events, as well as the subsequent investigation, and Mr. Peltier's extradition, trial, conviction, and sentencing were characterized by gross misconduct on the part of law enforcement, the prosecution, and the courts. Mr. Peltier's co-defendants were separately tried and acquitted on grounds of self-defense. Mr Peltier was railroaded and his case is tainted by discrimination at every level, ranging from the withholding of

exculpatory evidence to the torture and coercion of extradition and trial witnesses, and from the refusal of the judge to dismiss an avowedly racist juror, to the apologetic gymnastics of the courts affirming his convictions in the face of meritorious legal challenges and admitted evidence of outrageous government misdeeds. Mr. Peltier has been in prison for more than 48 years, and he's almost 80 years old. He suffers from chronic and potentially lethal conditions, for which he receives insufficient and substandard medical care. If you want to take action to hashtag free Leonard Peltier, you can call the this url it's http colon slash slash n d n c o dot c c slash free leonard peltier that's f-r-e-e-l-e-o-n-a-r-d p-e-l-t-i-e-R Or you can follow NDN Collective on social media for more ways to support him.

For more information on Leonard Peltier, listen to Margaret's podcast on the Lakota Nation, A Read in the Spirit of the Crazy Horse, by Peter Mathieson. It Could Happen Here is a production of Cool Zone Media. For more podcasts from Cool Zone Media, visit our website, coolzonemedia.com, or check us out on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find sources for It Could Happen Here updated monthly

at coolzonemedia.com slash sources. Thanks for listening. Hey guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, The Running Interview Show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories,

their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run High on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Effect original series, Black Lit, the podcast for diving deep into the rich world of Black literature. Black Lit is for the page turners, for those who listen to audiobooks while running errands or at the end of a busy day. From thought-provoking novels to powerful poetry, we'll explore the stories that shape our culture. Listen to Black Lit on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. AT&T. Connecting changes everything.

Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex-positive and deeply entertaining podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. We'll see you next time.