It’s Wednesday My Dudes - 104: Dare to Do Drugs

Episode Date: April 26, 2023

Zak is suing Mom Water, Bryan commits a felony, and Ruxx solves a murder.Rate us 5 stars on Spotify! and leave a review and rate on Apple Podcasts!Links here to follow on social media! and find other places to listen!

And here we go. Pick your favorite movie theater snack and then turn it into a cereal. Which one do you think they chose? Because there's a new cereal out. And it's something I love, but it makes absolutely no sense as a cereal, especially for one specific thing that they're adding into it so rooks oh dylan already told me what this is so it's basically just dang it all right well um i mean i don't know like this might be a stupid like and this isn't gonna make any sense

but like i love like getting a nice blue icy to have uh Correct. They made a wait, what? They made an icy cereal. Bro, like how does that make any sense? So there's like fruity flavored cereals. I sent you the link for the thing. There's fruity flavored cereals, so that's not new, but there's one

specific line. The new cereal is inspired by Icy's popular cherry and blue raspberry flavors and features crunchy red and blue spherical cereal with an innovative ingredient that cools your mouth as you eat the effect is meant to be reminiscent of the first sip of an icy beverage so they just made minty cereal so like what in the fuck dude i i will tell you the top of my list of cereals I will not be ever fucking purchasing. That is such a shitty idea. It's like Vic's Vapor Rub cereal.

We just don't need this. It's just not needed. No one asked for it. Nobody was like, hey, let's turn this fucking icy into a cereal. No one asked for this. I have to try it. I didn't ask for it, but I have to try it now. You absolutely have to try it.

I'm curious of the vapor rub effect. I wish they gave you a choice of flavor, though. People are in two camps. You're either a blue raspberry or a cherry. Some people mix. I'm fine with that you know we're some people like some people are mixing here some people like the uh people like that coke flavor too yeah coke secret flavored cereal will be worse

well depends all kind of coke you're talking about brother no i'm just kidding hashtag dare to do drugs it is wednesday i'm gonna fuck you brian yo how do you get milk out of a crab give me milk now mommy fat matches solve world hunger tonight get this vagina animal style Animal style. Bonnie is a wonderland. Be the way. I'm sweater. Ow! That came as an orgasm? Wah, wah, wahoo! That's like an orgy, my guy.

What's up, sluts? The Olympics are a fraud. Your word is Reichstrabatist. Ew, you're gross. Anywhere close to my butthole, he is just eating right through it. Your bottom's off? Trying to low-key penetrate you. Hey, boo-boo.

I shall not. Yeah, I shall not. Talking around to shit himself all the time. He's trying to have sex with a lover. Gun to the penis is what you need, brother. White Jesus. Kirby's down there just blowing. Kneecaps are not organs.

Fuck you, Ratatouille. It is Wednesday, my dudes. Welcome back to another episode of It's Wednesday, my dudes. Episode 104. I've been saying the wrong number for about like five weeks now, so I think we're on the right number now. Really? Yeah, it was fine. We'll figure it out. 104.

Corey's out, I don't know, stealing a Declaration of Independence. I feel like I've probably said that before, but we got Zach. What's up? i'm a little nasally today viewers i apologize mother nature is whipping my ass we got rooks what's up fuckers he's also very tired so it might be a very uh mellow low sad episode but you know it might be a zach centric episode where i talk cereal we're gonna talk serial everyone's favorite as long as it doesn't go into like a tummy bib type area i think they're usually a good episode so you know might talk serial killers might talk the gym might talk the chicago blackhawks we can we can dunk on some of your teams. But first, Rooks, how was your week?

Fucking super, super chill. Really, it's like this week and then next weekend, I have nothing going on, and it's just... The best. ...resting up for everything starting to get fucking crazy, because starting the week after, it's just going to be fucking go, starting uh the week after it's just gonna be fucking go go go for the rest of the summer for me probably um but yeah just kind of

fucking relaxed man really didn't do much fucking laid around played video games chill with denise like and then went out all night on monday night so i know well it was super fucking low key and i was feeling great going into monday and then i had to go to this fucking conference for work and then i got doomed into drinking from fucking four until 12 so that was fantastic that's where you make up a fake family back home one to small talk your co-worker so they want to hear about your kids and to just have an excuse she's like yeah we should come out but you know gotta put the kid to bed and it's like 4 p.m for some reason like oh totally good well i thought i thought the puppy was gonna be like my yeah like i kept referencing the puppy and then uh this lady i work was like oh wait don't you have a roommate

like is he home like do you think he could i was like fucking damn it man i was like you bitch roommate's dad yeah did you hear the shooting at the gym the other day yeah but yeah it was uh and then yeah ended up fucking yesterday just drinking for hours i like i felt like so i wasn't blacked out or anything that was pretty intoxicated i didn't like you know when you have like those like when you have drinks and you're not planning on having drinks and then like they just keep going and you're not prepared for like what you're getting into. Like I was very buzzed. I'm in this banquet hall with like fucking like 500 people.

It's like packed to the brim, like food, drinks, the whole thing. And then there was like two really good speeches that were given. And I'm sitting there just like one. i'm definitely not important enough to be here like i'm like there's no reason for my body to be taking up a seat here but i'll keep eating crab cakes and drinking but and then two like this this guy goes up in the first like i'm walking around and during the first speech and i'm sitting there and i'm like yo am i just like hammered am i mishearing him or something because i'm walking around but it sounds like he's cussing a lot and then i sit down and then the first line is like yeah and then previous

administrations try to fuck everyone over and deal with all this bullshit and i was like yo what am i listening i was like what the fuck i was like this is like an important conference and you're just dropping f-bombs like what the hell it was a great speech but like he cussed throughout the whole fucking thing and i was like okay i'm not wasted this guy is just a potty mouth which is great um but yeah it was it was a good time and i'm tired love it well you know usually drink on the weekends instead why would they even put that work thing on a monday that makes no sense well so it's uh there's there's all these like back-to-back conferences so it's like for different um different like groups and stuff so there was one that was thursday friday saturday and then

another one started sunday monday tuesday today was the last day so like the one day in the middle is always the like turn up day because that's when like everyone's there for the entire day and then there's another one that starts up again in a few days like it's just a shit show there's no like there's no schedule because like there's just so many of these things going on that like everyone kind of has their slot gotcha it's fun i'm just tired tired of kissing ass man well as you recover zach how was your week uh it was good uh my emojis a b because the boys were buzzing the past couple weekends absolutely buzzing so i was in wait which boys i was in vegas from like you the fellas man no the fellas the guys the the comrades yeah okay the boys okay the boyos yeah um so i was in vegas two weekends ago for a bachelor party great time uh came out of the

blackjack tables ahead which was something i wasn't uh wasn't expecting that was great went to a went to a day club little cabana the dj was playing absolute heaters it was one of blackjack tables ahead, which was something I wasn't expecting, which was great. Went to a day club, Little Cabana. The DJ was playing Absolute Heaters. It was one of those times where you go to somewhere and you think you're there for only 30 minutes. It turns out you were there for six hours. Been there. Dude, the boys really good with the sunscreen, too.

I'm telling you, the sunscreen application got everyone's good getting the backs of everyone. I i don't know when i crossed the cross over that threshold but not worry about dudes rubbing sunscreen on my back but let me tell you it was very helpful in that uh in that instance we were just lathering each other up uh there was a bachelor party there so we definitely could have asked them for help but i trust the boys more with good coverage on the back um but it was a good time we uh we did that and then on saturday my flight was out sunday morning saturday night met up with a bachelor party we're just hanging out at like the bar at paris hotel realized it was 3 30 a.m had to realize how to go home and pack stuff for about 45 minutes got in an uber right to the airport was on a plane by 7 30 so um i was tired um so this weekend was

supposed to be pretty chill turns out sat, met up with some other fellows again, and we wanted to watch the basketball and NHL playoffs. Had some parlays down. Went to this pretty cool fan duel bar. It's called Over Under. And it has like all – it's like out of like a sports book. It has all the screens, every kind of sports you could imagine. And so got after it there a little bit, ordered stadium beers.

Went to a dive bar after that it was around like 10 p.m we're kind of all pretty tired and i turned to my friend uh phil aka filthy phil aka filler of phil aka aka the vibes machine um and we uh i was like all right you get this we're gonna get one drink you order it for us fucking guy i love him to death orders fucking three tequila sunrises for us at a dive bar and i'm like i'm like why this is the last thing on earth that i want right now and the lady's pulling out like the orange juice that's definitely been sitting out there for three or four weeks and it's warm it's not even cold and i'm just like ah this is where it ends this is where it ends and

that's how my saturday wrapped up so uh the were indeed buzzing. Lots of nicotine pouches being gummed up as well. A couple gummy pills, a couple melty boys nestled in between our upper and lower lips and gums. It was a great time. The boys were buzzing. Bees were buzzing. We had fun. I feel like you need to get... You know how diabetes people have the little pod

that just auto-injects insulin into them you get that but just that's not fun no dude no half the fun is half the fun is having the oral oral asphyxiation or it was not asphyxiation that's like choking somebody that's like oral fixation yeah there you go in your mouth and like uh and just having something in there to make you feel cool i think there's a deeper seated uh problem there but we'll talk about that next week um went to a concert this week it was sick uh except the opening band there's one song they told the crowd to like they're too quiet and to start moving six times in a row i was like guys if you said after

like the third time no one's gonna move you guys are just one no one's into you just play your last song get off the stage and she's like i don't know like they're the worst because wait do you mean do you mean move like yeah they're like in the middle others are they like cutting out or is it just like they're still playing music he's's like, I really need to see you guys dance. They didn't fully cut the music out, but they did it in between the songs. Like, yo, this guy right here is not moving at all. And like call out one random dude in the center. He's just like, what?

You know how to make a crowd turn against you? Start fucking calling people out for not fucking with your music. It was like, what the fuck? So they're like, wake up wake up and don't do anything. And they played their song and left. Next band came on. Everyone loved them. And like, they didn't say a word.

Everyone just was super into it. They left. Loved it. Third band came on, like the main headliner one. And they did the same thing the first band did after the first song. I was like, guys, you just saw like an hour set. Everyone was really into this this is on you stop yelling at the crowd for not moving when they're not into your music man so

that was you know a lot of negative points for those bands so uh that was bad jesus uh binge you season four great show uh if you want to talk about serial killers later, talk about that. And then throwback to our favorite segment. Do you remember the only thing we made everybody on this podcast spend money on so far? The fucking mystery box? Everyone loves a mystery box. So we're going to run it back. It's going to be a little bit different this time, though. Yesterday, not yesterday, Tuesday.

Today's Tuesday. Last Tuesday? I don't know. Sometime last week. It's going to be a little bit different this time, though. Yesterday, not yesterday, Tuesday. Today's Tuesday. Last Tuesday? I don't know. Sometime last week. I walked down my apartment. I'm in an Airbnb, so I don't live here. And the FedEx guy's walking or driving by in his car.

And he like sees me walk out. And he goes, yo. I was like, what? He's like, I have something for you. And I was like, do you? And he's just like, yeah. And he goes to the back of the car, gets a package, like up hands it to me, and he's like yo you uh is this you No, he's like oh

He's like but his address is right right. I was like yeah. He's like what you want it I was like yeah, so he had it to me. He's like I have a good day He committed a felony a bit of a felony I Hate it go assume if I was handed the mail by the mailman, I can open it. So we got a little mystery box here. God. You just have random fucking mail right now? What? What if it's the owner of the Airbnb?

I don't think it is because I think they're like a, maybe it's her husband. I don't know. If it is, that's on them for ordering it to here and not on us so how this is gonna work i'm gonna give you both two guesses as to what it is if you get it right i'll mail it to you if you don't i'm keeping it i've the only hint you get you can't use your phone because i haven't looked it up either there's a brand it says umzu maybe one of you knows what that is so two guesses brooks don't look at your phone i know you're not probably not looking up but sorry i just got an email from someone stupid that's fair that's usually what through the from you got two guesses to guess what it is if you get it right

you get the package if you don't i get to keep it okay um what the fuck a hat a hat okay i was gonna guess underwear because that would be like the lamest thing for it to be maybe like socks zach what's your guess do i get one or two you get two we'll go back and forth oh okay i'm. I'm going to go with some sort of like face lotion or like face care product. Brooks, second guess. A human hand. That means you get to keep it if it is

a human hand, though. Do you want to change your guess? It's fine. Okay. Zach, what's your second guess? I just won't be opening it. I was going to go with two human hands, but I think that's too on the nose. I'm going to go with...

Give me a knife set. Oh. Also, did you show us the size of it? About the size of... Shake it into the microphone that's definitely in here anything yeah you can you can change your knife answer I'll give you that I'll go with a little tea okay tea there's three of them I think we'll be so pissed

I hope this is great audio content oh it's pills don't hear anything testosterone support no guys do you each want one oh my god what the fuck you just put this man on blast yeah hold on you just dock somebody bro you're gonna okay you're gonna have to you're gonna have to leave that out leave his name let me write it down he's fully just outing my man he needs fucking testosterone help bro i really hope i really hope he comes knocking on your door now it's like hey did you get a package here and you have to either lie and say no or you have to hand this man his testosterone pills or he shows up and i'm just jacked and he's like wow you definitely took him all right so we got uh blood flow support we got testro x these are all definitely like like sex things bro and gut support flurox 50 they look hella expensive though so you know shout out this guy do you have like a like so you're in like an apartment

building or something do you can you just like do you have like an office or like a front desk? Yeah. You're right. That's probably the right answer. Yeah, don't keep this shit. Especially now knowing what it is. Now it's not fun. It's not like anything cool.

Like, fuck it. Is this mystery? Bird, why would you take someone else's mail, dude? He said, do you want it? I said, yeah. You are so dumb. He gave it to me. mystery but why would you take someone else's mail he said do you want it i said yeah you are so dumb he gave it to me it's it could be anybody that guy might not even be a mailman dude it could be a bomb a guy who was driving the ups truck he could be any he could have stolen the ups truck and then he just gave me some pills for free oh no these these are pies these are bombs they were made in a bomb factory

incredible well uh you guys did not guess it right so you don't get it i might have to just send it to cory just you know for the hell of it just can't believe you just accepted you accepted someone else's mail bachelor party bring it in the bachelor party and we do pill roulette and then we uh we see how jacked up we can get. Gut health, blood flow, or testosterone. We'll split into three teams and we'll test out the product. We are first sponsor. So, you know, mystery boxes.

They're my favorite thing in the world. So we're going to keep it going. So like we said, it was going to be a Zach centric episode. So got a court case on our hands, boys. Judge Rooksbury, the third presiding over the court case of Mom Water versus Kirshner. Oh, hell yeah. On copyright infringement. Kirshner, you have the floor. Dude, I'm on Mom Water's side.

I'm giving up the case, and I'm on Mom Water's side. I was going to say, dude, he loves Mom Water. They make a good product. They make a very good product, and I'd like to continue buying from them. We need a cut. They can't just make the product we made, and then... Oh, no, they can make it. They can make it. they can no no no

i'm okay can i can i also just say when we talked about mom water zach sent me like a map that shows every place that has mom water the map is just completely colored in because every fucking place that sells the shit that sells beer alcohol is fucking mom water there get some no dang because i know i was like oh i can just get it whenever when i see it like i'll remember and i'll get it but literally the map was just fully fucking one color i was like what the hell is this it's popular but we came up with dad water like a month ago it's not that unique brian i don't care we said it it's on the internet now. We have a case.

Dylan's a lawyer. We could get something written up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, sure. I'm going to be standing with... I'll be Mom Water's witness, though. I will defend them until I die. If they come out with a belt flavor, I'm getting my lawyer.

That's the thing. What we could do is they have their names for all their moms. Yeah. To further this, we could give them ideas they have their names for all their moms yeah to further this we could give them ideas or what of what are the dad names because like they have karen julie linda you know susan what are the four dad names that you would name for dad water easily jeff for reasons that i don't don't need to talk about i mean for 50 of the people on the podcast that don't need to be named i feel like

one of them needs i feel like one of them needs to be needs to be named bob i feel like there's no robert or no i like bob i like bob i feel like there's no there's no i've never met anyone under the age of 40 who's named bob like ever bob builder hank what about hank Bob Vilder Hank Carl no Fred Tim Chuck Chuck

I think Chuck's a solid one Jeff Bob Chuck what's like the name of a character you get that expense report yeah give me some names of some character you get that expense report yeah yeah give me some names of some co-workers that you don't like some old dudes so you don't i don't want to bruce oh dave dave is a good one bill or billy or william if we have bob we can't do bill i feel like frank has to be one of them i'm

fine with frank. Frank. Jeff, Bob, Chuck, and Frank. All right. What are their flavors going to be, though? Can Bob be like WD-40 flavor? But one's got to be new balances and cut grass. There you go. Yeah. Or they could be Nike Monarchs.

Relax. Yeah, true. White sneakers. That's what I meant. Sorry. Dealer's choice. there you go yeah or hey or they could be nike monarchs relax yeah true white sneakers sorry dealer's choice yeah white sneakers and copper ass one of them wd-40 can one of them be uh groaning when you sit down flavored just grown flavor when you sit down though specifically or stand this one tastes like i think it's great marketing it sounds like that commercial for the basement thing that i showed forever ago oh do i still have this one when you think of your basement do you think Is it a safe haven for you and your family? I totally forgot. Yo, play that shit one more time. When you think of your basement, do you think,

ugh, or, hmm, is it a safe haven for you and your family? Hold on. Fuck, listen back to that. It was like, yeah, that was the take. Is your basement something? Ugh. What the fuck, dude?

It still plays on the radio too like i caught the first time oh it's so good so that's the flavor of our dad water now though so be ready yeah agreed or it could just be like the leftovers that your family doesn't have that the dad always eats but i like leftovers so i don't want to do that i think everyone would be good dad no like thanksgiving leftovers aren't debatable everyone likes them it's not the but that's specific it's the every day it's the monday through friday it's the grind when you're you know i'm done with this your dad's like throw that throw that baby out of my plate let me eat that yeah i just like i like eating everyone's food it's fine i don't

think it's a dad thing i think it's a money thing god can one of them be a eat uh reading the newspaper flavor i feel like it's a very dad thing yeah agreed what's the word that like stands for newspapers and magazines editorial that sounds right it's not that it's not that there's a long word for it and that's what i'm trying to go for man i don't fucking know dude wait for it i say it a word periodical is that what it was i think that's oh yeah periodical flavor you know never mind let's stick with newspaper yeah that's not there's not really a ring to it well i'm just like the whole first half of that doesn't sound very good as a flavor so you're gonna avoid that it can't be periodical flavored fruit punch, tequila, dad water. Like that would just.

So, yeah. It's tough marketing. On there. But, you know, we got it. All right. We got Jeff with the white sneakers and cut grass flavor. Bob with WD-40. Chuck with the grown.

And then Frank with a newspaper. So that's our lineup. We'll see how it does versus what they come out with. It's supposed to be out soon, right? Like they're actually going to. It said summer of 2023 which i feel like is pretty close so gonna be drinking some uh some chucks very soon still can't believe that fucking commercial. Jesus Christ. Do you want to make your own version of it? Word for word?

She gets me every time. No, I do not. I mean, I pretty much just did a minute ago. Zach, I heard you had a run-in at the gym. Dude. Just in general. Gym people just stink. Like, if you don't know how to operate at a gym, you should be thrown out.

Like people who – I have a list, so we can riff off this for a while. These guys are on – I get if you're free barbell squatting, benching, and you're getting it up, and then you kind of aggressively re-rack your weights. Even then, I'm still a little like, eh, probably don't need to do that. Probably just need to learn how to control your weight a little more. When you're on a machine and you're doing leg press and you have the little handles on the side to then pull in and

stop it from coming back down and you slam those babies in and basically take your legs off so it purposely makes the noise, get fucked. Please get fucked. I hope the machine falls on you and takes your legs off so it purposely makes the noise, get fucked. Like please get fucked. Like I hope the machine falls on you and takes your legs out. It is the most annoying thing. Like I get like Planet Fitness does the lunk alarm or whatever

when you slam your way. That's where I was going. That's a little much. But it's just like the hard-o's in there. It's like, dude, you're at a fucking Planet Fitness or an export or an LA Fitness. If you were that good at power lifting or it was that important to you you'd be at a power lifting gym or you'd be like at a private gym you're at a fucking export like stop trying to impress all the other dudes here who are just trying to use their 30 to get into

a mild pumping like fucking relax the reason half the machines are always broken too is i'm sure someone's doing lat pull with 70 pounds oh my god i just drops it from the very bottom it's like well yeah you're gonna get worse snap everything in half dude's hitting the vagina machine and slamming weights around it's like just you know just stop don't get some help don't do that there's a there's a there's a dude at my gym who is uh he was shoulder and like look like i'm gonna say one of my big bugaboos that i'm gonna talk about like i don't care how big like it big or small like these things are always gonna piss me off no matter how strong you are but if you are small it's significantly worse than if you are big okay so if you are short if you are shoulder pressing

30 pound dumbbells and you get down to your shoulder on your last rep and you drop 30 pound dumbbells from your shoulder literally go fuck yourself like dude these things are bouncing all over the place it's not heavy weight so they like fucking like actually move around and she's like this is so dangerous and you don't look big like people like people drop weight sometimes in my opinion people drop weights to get attention sometimes obviously all the time if you want people looking at you shoulder pressing 30 fucking pounds man like that's a tough look for you like you don't look big you look like a pussy this is gonna sound like a flex and i

really don't mean it it's just a comparative like i will dumbbell press 100 pounds and every time i will like rack it on my knees just stand up i will never stand up down yeah that's 100 pounds like one i don't really want to i don't like it's harder because you throw them on the weight you throw them down they get to bend over and pick them back up it's like i'm already in my hand let me just like put them on my list. It's more efficient. My favorite video online is people doing that and smashing their phone that's under the bench by them. And it's just sweet, sweet karma every time. So Brian, I have a list.

I can keep going if you want. I mean, I got one. If Rook's got one. Go ahead. Yesterday, I'm at this apartment. My gym membership got canceled. I called, and they're like, oh, renew at one if Brooks got one. Go ahead. Yesterday, I'm at this apartment. My gym membership got canceled. I called, and they're like, oh, renew at the end of the month because it was supposed to expire. I was like, it says it's going to expire.

They're like, it'll renew. I was like, all right. And I showed up the next day. They're like, yeah, so it expired. And to get another month or two, you're going to have to do the startup fee again. I was like, no. So the apartment I'm at has enough to get by for another week or two. But I going to have to do the startup fee again. I was like, no. So the apartment I'm at has like enough to get by for another week or two, but I showed up.

So no one's normally there. There's just one dude, just fully barefoot, just like stretching and like walking around and like doing some like glute raises and stuff. It's like, dude, I understand some people go in socks for like deadlifts,

but like you're on a platform, you put your shoes back on at some point. Okay. But like just straight barefoot there's nothing to justify that that's just actually gross is your gym like a la fitness export type of deal right now i'm at an apartment so no no but but but but before like at the gym before yeah it was a anytime fitness if you if you are dead lifting at a fucking export or la fitness where they don't really like get fucked like go for me it depends on if they have platforms or not they don't because

some of them like some of them i have i have la fitness there's some la fitness that i've been to that do have platforms yeah we're like if they have a platform like 100 you can deadlift on it but yeah there's dudes like my gym currently that i go to like it's la fitness and there's no platforms and dudes are just like throwing the shit down it's like dude like you're gonna fucking actually fuck up the floor like chalked up to like the fucking bejesus there's chalk everywhere and i'm like fucking relax um i've got the one so you don't like the whole, curl in the squat rack thing, right? But, like, I feel like that's not really an issue.

What's been an issue for me recently is people taking the benches but not using the barbell bench. They'll take, like, dumbbells or they'll just do, like, dips. I'm, like, totally fine if you have a freestanding bench, like, by the dumbbell section. If you're not fucking benching with the barbell get the fuck out of here yeah like it's made for that like i i literally i was standing and i hate waiting for like things i feel really awkward just as a bigger guy just weirdly like standing behind equipment and just like yeah like just waiting but i was glaring at this one girl who was doing who's clearly there had her outfit on wasn't really working out it was doing like these bullshit dumbbell fly i'm like and i was just glaring

right through her and i was like i was like fucking move like i i need to i need to ruin my shoulders right now like get the fuck out of here like yeah the the gym i used to go to in pittsburgh like it's my nightmare because like you'd have to go straight after work and it was completely packed to do anything you have to ask to like be a next in line. And that was like the extent of my social, like a bandwidth that I could do ever for the month was like once a week, be like, can I,

can I get this rack next? And they always say yes. And it always takes 30 seconds, but like, I just don't want to like talk to anybody at the gym. Cause like, you know, it's your time.

Like I'm going to leave you alone, but go to anytime fitness. It the gym because it's your time. I'm going to leave you alone. But go to Anytime Fitness. It's always empty. It's great. I have at my gym, this was probably a month ago, and I haven't seen them. I've seen them once or twice since. But again, if you're a couple working out together, great. Don't say it.

Say it. Hey, if you're a couple working out together, fantastic say it say it hey if you're a couple working out together say fantastic fit fam you guys get that shit together stop fucking fingering each other let's go fuck that bro like bro like you can be like you can fucking hype each other up like maybe a kiss on the cheek somewhere fine this dude not even that first nope you can't i'm not even gonna let that pass i'm not even gonna let that this fucking dude again and again as i said this is gonna piss me off whether you're big or small but if you're smaller it looks worse this guy's benching 135 his girlfriend is feeling his chest as he's benching 135. She's literally cupping him. But I'm not talking just like...

Because sometimes people will do a two-finger on where you're supposed to feel it or whatever. She has his titties fully cupped in her hands, and she is squeezing him and caressing him as he's benching 135. And then he stands up, and it's like doing the fucking front chest pose, and she's touching it again. I was like,

this dude, first off, he's built a bag of milk, but second, what the fuck are we doing? Take this shit elsewhere. I don't care. You can work out together. Just don't be inside each other while we're at the gym. I don't think it's a crazy thing to ask.

Yeah, I mean... But this couple, this cut yeah the couple they're just i and there's one there's one other couple that i've seen there that like they're they're actually like they're strong and they lift together but like there's just times where they're just like sitting like she's like sitting in his lap and stuff and he's just like touching i'm like dude like just take this shit elsewhere man like just literally take the shit elsewhere like if y'all like it's cool if you want to fuck man like i get it like you're in the gym hormones are going like you're all jacked up but like then just get the fuck out and go have sex like don't do it here they also just take up racks for too long because they're gonna sit there and talk for 10 hours yeah oh my god yeah there's no fucking people to wish the three people to the machine are like the worst but i agree that's it but that's fucking i don't know if you guys have a year gym the

fucking high school kids that'll come in and there will be six of them and they will all be standing around a fucking bench spread out and they're all rotating fucking doing 135 then they're like fucking talking to each other they're looking at the mirror like like like oh my god like you all weigh 107 pounds get the fuck out of the way like please get the fuck out of the way my gym in pittsburgh had a bunch of like actual bodybuilder dudes so like if you ever walked into the locker room it's just dudes like posing together. I'm like, guys, leave. Yeah, but yeah. I don't care.

Stop taking photos. I'm in the background of so many random dudes Instagram hosts. That's bad. Stop. If you're in the locker room, I don't think posing is a big deal. I think taking pictures and flicking up

with people in the background that didn't ask to be in, especially in in a locker room which is like fucking old dudes fucking ball sack down to his knee is going to be in the background in one of years like that's actually like a charge like i would i would just settle down i don't think i like most people at the gym the people i like are the people i don't notice you know what are you you're gonna you're gonna notice the people that piss you off in the gym like you're never gonna look at somebody he's like he has great gym etiquette like you're just gonna be like fuck this guy and this guy you're like oh he's a normal person like that's yeah what what are

your guys thoughts on people asked to like work in with you oh it depends so for me it depends on what it is so if we're i had this fucking guy oh my god dude i was like pressing doesn't sound like it's an independent well no it's for me for me it depends on the workout i'm fucking leg pressing eight plates aside and this guy's like can i work in with you and i was like all right dude is doing three plates so every time we're fucking swapping over i'm taking off five plates on a side it's like this isn't worth it man like this is not fucking worth it there's a but then like so we we don't have very many ropes at my gym so like people will be like they'll ask to do like tricep tricep push down and shit and then it's like yeah sure like i'm gonna go ahead there's etiquette to

it of one you ask how many sets you have left if it's two maybe three you don't ask to work it you just you wait you give your time if they say four or five maybe three uh then you can ask to work and but like rook said you have to be doing the same weight. You can't like if there's a dude like a power lifter, like squatting 400. He'd be like, hey, can I work in? I want to do shoulder press with 75 pounds, which is like what I can do. Like that's just not you can't do that. Yeah, that's fair. That's a good way of looking at it.

I usually just I always want to say no. Yeah, I always just end up saying yes. I don't think I've ever said no, to be so yeah it's like yeah sure okay and it's always like the older guys too who are just like yeah you mind if i work in and i'm like god sure fucking larry whatever like chuck yeah do you have like straight old dudes at your gym because i don't think i've ever had old dude assman work in oh dude we have the i mean my gym is like it's like it's like i thought you go to like a cycling Chicago where there's all like no that's a separate yeah that's a separate i go to like a separate cycling class and then i have a export and then cycle bar two different

gyms so i go one to lift and then i go to one to cycle do you have two gym memberships or is it just money per class no No, it's two. Well, the cycle bar membership is like a membership, but you basically extrapolate it out to like money per class type of thing. Jeez. But yeah. Can't hide money. It's a mixture of – it's just a mixture of – probably not as many of the high schoolers.

It's just a mixture of like the olds and some of the exercises that these people – oh, dude. Oh, God. This one guy. The people who – there's two things. One, the people who swing the weights for bicep curls and act like – and the thing is they take like 70 pounds and they're like super skinny string beans. And they take 70 pounds and they swing it and it mentally they're like oh i'm fucking killing it right now and i want to go up to them and be like there's a reason you're fucking skinny like skinny people can't curl 70 pounds the correct way and you're not doing it

the correct way if you ever have to wear a lifting belt or dumbbell curls or gloves like gloves get some calluses on your hands. Lower the fucking weight. If you're ever doing a bicep curl, biceps are the smallest muscle in your fucking body. If you're doing enough weight to where your back fucking hurts from holding onto it, do fucking less.

Because you're not doing yourself any favors. There's this dude at my gym who would have knee braces on literally every joint he possibly has and you would get the curl bar and put two or three 45 pound plates on the other side and go to the preacher curl and just like one inch down one inch back up and he did it oh like twice a week for months i got another one go ahead it's the guy on the leg press machine who puts who loads 45 plates on as many as you can.

Oh, my God. And then does the calf extension or just the little down. Just like the little slight knee bend. And takes every 45 fucking plate in the entire goddamn gym. Oh, my God. And then like takes forever to re-rack. It takes forever to rack it. And I'm like, dude, like you're not working any muscle like

sick burn you can put all that weight on there and lift it like an inch but like it doesn't all you're doing all they're doing is fucking up their knees man like that's literally all they're doing is they're just fucking up their knees yeah oh yeah sorry brian i kind of got excited there you're fine i think it's. I think most gym things everyone agrees on. I want to know if you have like a hot take, like a weird one that like isn't. I don't know if it's. I don't know. Go ahead.

I'll just say that isn't just like one of the most common ones that like you don't think we would all agree with. So I don't know if this is weird, but you should be smelling good going into the gym. There have been people who I've walked in at the same time who just smell like absolute like dirty dog water yeah and it's like and and i get like trust me if you if i can tell you've been sweating and you've been getting like i'm not here to hate on that but like people i walk in like we walk in the same time we're doing a first exercise and you just smell like take a shower or like put some acts on like let's let's try to cover it up a little bit. Like, I have to work in the proximity of you.

I'm sure other people have told you you smell like that's a little common courtesy here. It's a little decency. That's fair. If you see them walking in and it's already noticeable, that's bad. Once you're in, it's not like you can't tell if they've been there for a while or not. Agreed. Fair. Yeah.

No, that's fair. That's fair. My thing. That's like I was going to say, I, that's fair. That's fair. My thing... I was gonna say... Go ahead. I don't think anyone needs a gym bag. Leave it in the locker room and then that... Don't bring anything to your stuff. Maybe... Well, I kind of have one.

Maybe a towel. I have a small over the... It's not like a bag. It's like an over-the-shoulder mini-backpack thing. And do you carry it machine-to-machine? Bitch, that's called a bag. bag well it's more of a backpack the only reason i do it is because i i i don't like i don't like going to the locker room and like i don't like having a lock basically like i have to remember the fucking combo and i'm like whatever and so i just carry the backpack with me and it's like a super small under it's basically like a lululemon like crossbody thing it's not even like a bag

okay so it's a bag um and that's why i said it because i i figured you not everyone agrees because like most a lot of people have backs but it's just annoying as hell because like stop carrying 40 things like if you need a belt for squat bring a belt and then put it on the ground when you're not using it if you need to put it back in your locker go ahead but you don't need like batman utility belt of all these things to work out in the gym it's it's there for you like just all the stuff should already be there so that's that's my i don't give it i don't if you want i don't give a shit about bag as long as it's just not in the fucking way like if you have your bag if you have your shit all like

splayed out like you're in your fucking bedroom like get the fuck but the people who do that too like hog stuff because they'll like put their bag on a bench and then go warm up somewhere it's like that's not that doesn't count you can't do that but i'm not but i will never touch your stuff because like you can't do that but i'm yeah i'm pissed about it but i'm not gonna move it because that's just not i'm gonna stand over here and be very mad at you and you're never gonna have any idea no i hate dude fucking and this isn't like a hot take or anything dude my gym doesn't have very many i think they only have two pairs of 25 pound dumbbells maybe two or three dude this fucking one person will hoard five fucking so i'm not fucking with you five sets of dumbbells it'll be

like 20 to like 40s oh no and it's like you could do is two mostly there's two sets oh my fucking god like why do you have all of these like why like you're not doing a five five fucking level drop set here like what the fuck are you doing, man? Oh, my. I hate that shit so fucking much. Oh, I'm getting I'm getting like pissed off now. I think the one I hate the most is when people do exercises on the rack itself. Like if people do like dumbbell rows and they'll like grab a 70 and then lean on the rest of the dumbbells and do rows.

Oh, yeah. You're at it. Yeah. dumbbell rows and they'll like grab a 70 and then lean on the rest of the dumbbells and do rows oh yeah yeah no i i they act like you're inconveniencing them when you like put your weight back that they're in front of it and i'm like i'm literally i will stand behind them and like be a presence until they fucking move i'm like you're in my way to look oh like and they'll give me a look like i'm bothering them it's like go grab on something. There's a million other things you put your fucking hand on to brace yourself. There's a hundred different places you can do a dumbbell fucking go at. There's a hundred different places. The one thing I'll be rude about is if they're like an inch away from where our dumbbells go, I'll just chuck mine into the spot and run away. I won't stand there, but like I will get in front of them and I i'm not gonna like worry about where their space is

because they're just actually in the way of everything and i don't know how no one's ever told them to not do that yeah did we run through your whole list i feel like we've ranted a lot yeah we covered a lot more we covered some things that i forgot i hated and i appreciate you bringing them up as well it's a good little like yeah i feel better one thing i do like though one thing i do like at the gym though is when you hit like a big a big weight or like a pr and like or someone or someone else thinks it's a big weight and they look over you and they give you the head nod they're like oh yeah bro and i'm like hell yeah thanks man and i'm the same thing you guys guys are like god like man you're looking big today i'm like thanks man you too like whenever someone gasses you up at the gym, it just feels good.

I was at the grocery store pushing a cart and the like cashier dude goes, hey, man, nice triceps. I'm like, can you ring me up? Oh, my God. My man. That man was hitting on you, bro. That's different. That's different, bro.

That is not fucking. Dude, you've been in the gym. That is so specific. Hey, I really like your triceps, by the way. That is just like, hey, I want to go jerk you off. And then I want you to jerk me off using your triceps. The triceps. It was so weird.

Yeah, you go to aisle three. I was like, thanks. I was hitting on you, bro. That's sick. Congratulations. The next time I went, I saw him again. I was like, ah, crap. I got to avoid this guy.

It was weird. Brides were in turtlenecks. Like, they were in turtlenecks like these were in turtlenecks and hoodies long sleeves from then on out man oh yeah you know the gym uh the gym pisses me off all right we got we need we need like one i still go more zach thing to round out the zachisode um do you want me to answer any of the would you rathers that i missed nope last week and aren't you guys talking about serial killers or something? Apparently, we have a lot of things to talk about.

I'm not scared. I'm not scared. What's going on? It's in Chicago. What is it? It's like some dudes picking people up or some shit. Yeah, I don't know. I see some TikToks.

It's actually just evolution at that point. You can't survive a serial killer. You can't be smart enough. Don't get in a stranger's car. Also, too, they can pick my lifeless 225-pound, 6 pound six foot three body up and chuck it in a body of water good for them honestly they probably deserve it um it'd be like an accomplishment i'm a very hard person to kidnap so i mean if you're dead they could probably drag you they don't really need to do gracefully do it yeah but still it's still like that much of dead weight and all the limbs

hanging out i guess i could like start chopping them off but yeah that feels like it's a lot of extra work yeah suppose that there's a serial killer in austin because they keep finding uh bodies washing up in like this one river so that's where i thought you were going because that's the latest one i heard about but like it's the river next to where all the bars are and it's like okay guys people are just getting drunk and falling in the water and like there's no zero thought for chicago too is like what is it kind of river yeah are there any like is there any like damage on the bodies when they're coming out in austin like is there anything like physical like yeah in austin like gunshots the austin one it's like all of them are like pretty like not harmed it's like okay these are just drunk guys yeah get it together then let's say if you fucking die because you're just wasted and you

drown in a river like you're a fucking idiot i'm sorry knock on wood uh for the chicago one yeah is it like they're killed ahead of time or is there details are we gonna turn to a crime podcast should i get some like i saw um the only i have and this is like i mean i guess this is technically all hearsay because i saw like one or two tiktoks about this and these people should be saying whatever but I think I saw something where it's like people are like offering like drug people like

rides and shit and then they're getting in and then they're like drugging them and then killing them or something like when they're in the car they're like oh here like do you want a water or something and then they like have it and then they're drugged and they kill them or some shit yeah it seems like the right

steps to like dude again like i don't care how fucked up i am like i'm not getting a stranger's fucking car are you joking is it like hey i'm your uber and they're like blacked out and they're like okay and they get in like that i can see how that easily happens

yeah but i feel like i have the sense to understand look at the license plate number at least match that like i've never been not saying it doesn't happen but that's like the one thing i'm i sober up enough to do to say okay z9 432 kz9 for like let's do this thing yeah i mean i've been i've been very very very blacked out before and made sure i've gotten in the correct Uber by myself and gotten back. I don't know if I'm just a functioning alcoholic, but I think if you get in a stranger's fucking car

and then like... Rule number one, we're growing up. Don't talk to strangers. Correct. I don't know. Well, that's why you guys are alive challenge this is a challenge to all the serial killers in chicago come come get me bitch all right yeah hey take a trip take a trip out east come to dc say what's up bitch

don't don't come find me i'm not i'm not challenging now there's a big out here i mean other than people getting shot in gyms for making fun of people Oh update They fucking our apartment Sent us the video footage It's on like YouTube and shit Can we post it? It's this dude

In the fucking gym Working out and it's like clips of him Working out and then After like a minute all of a sudden it's him just Sprinting out of the gym so it's like clips of him like working out and then like after like a minute all of a sudden it's him just sprinting out of the gym so it's like motherfucker like i'm not the police what do you want me to do about this like i'm gonna sit here and do this fucking job for you guys like i'm not a fucking vigilante like motherfucker like call like you see in his face now have the police fucking track this motherfucker down yeah you should send me that video that'd be great

we i'm gonna see yeah i'll send it should we track him down should that be where we take this podcast instead of just talking about it's wednesday my dudes takes down a fucking active shooter yeah we get a news article written about us get verified on instagram or something off of that jesus christ i'm trying to find it. Hold on. We'll vamp for time. We'll get Corey to like shoot hockey pucks at the guy from far away. And that's how we'll be safe,

but still like hit him with stuff, you know? That's your idea to kill this guy is Corey shooting. No, no, no. To subdue him. Then we'll throw Zach's dead body on him

because apparently it's a lot of dead weight and then you won't be able to get away. Correct. I totally forgot we had this update. I just sent it to the group. It's such a goofy video too. He's like smiling at the fucking camera in the gym at one point.

Is this terrifying to watch? No, it's more goofy than anything and also i never i know this is so fucked but i'd never been to our gym before so i thought it was like a really shitty little thing and in the video it looks really nice and like after i said it to my roommate it's like dude when the fuck did we get such a nice gym and he's like that's what you take away from this fucking video? This guy who shot someone else is like, man, we have a nice gym. I mean, it does look nice for an apartment. He's kind of flexed it right now.

Oh, there's a girl behind him. He's like, he's like flexing and looking at the camera and shit. Why does he have the bank robbery mask on? That's not, it's not a good sign. He's shirtless and lifting out lifting in a ski mask at one point which is just like dude like pick a season like what are we doing oh is he taking his gun out his back man yeah he goes like you don't obviously you don't see the person get fucking shot but oh well the way you it's just like him sprinting out the way you phrased it

i thought it was the guy that got shot ran away and i was like i don't know how any of this makes any sense yeah dude the kid who's shirtless and wearing a ski mask and has a backpack and sticks his hand into it and then chases someone off screen yeah of course he's the shooter why hey do you do you want to know what one of my least favorite parts of the gym is getting shot there's a guy in there who has a gun right um but yeah that was i totally forgot to update y'all on that oh my god two three things maryland knows football crap cakes and gym shootings put it on t-shirt zach it's a song of the week. We didn't get one last week. That's right. Bass Glide by Abo. Outro Music Bye.