It’s Wednesday My Dudes - 106: The Mute to Furry Pipeline

Episode Date: May 10, 2023

Bryan has the reigns this week so we talk about scrotums a lot......Rate us 5 stars on Spotify! and leave a review and rate on Apple Podcasts!Links here to follow on social media! and find other places to listen!

And here we go. So I've like unpacking stuff and at all my yearbooks and I sent a lot of great photos of Rooks's face to our friend group. Yeah. Fuck you for that, by the way. Jesus Christ, man. What the fuck did I do? A lot of iconic looks. The like dragon button down from like fourth grade.

Classic. That was a tough one. I'm not gonna lie it was tough my third grade photo had a dragon ball z long sleeve t-shirt on come on it's balling back then but uh it got me thinking about like weird stuff from high school did you guys have mute kids in your class uh no no i don't think yeah i we had at least two of them which was thinking back on it i was like i don't think that was normal but like everyone thought it was like they were like buds with everybody but it's like yeah no he just doesn't talk and there's one kid never heard him talk all four years not once what were your interactions with them

one was on my bus uh my boy nester he's tight i i don't know i tried to talk to him he was on the bus he just like wouldn't speak they would do a lot of facial expressions though and then i don't know uh and there's other kid not as cool with him he was the basketball team though because everyone was like the story with him was to be on the team you had to say the plays so like the only time anyone ever heard him speak was like in the middle of basketball game he would call it a play and that was bullshit then no fuck that man i feel like he i feel like he's not you can't be a half-ass mute okay you can't be a mute with fucking like guidelines here like you're either a mute or you're not a fucking mute dude

there's like selective mutism though it's not like they didn't have vocal cords it was just i've never heard them speak i didn't go to the basketball game to our school wasn't good denise is gonna be like he's gonna be so pissed at me for saying that she's gonna be like what the fuck because she deals with like selective mute and shit good denise is gonna be like he's gonna be so pissed at me for saying that she's gonna be like what the because she deals with like selective mute and shit like she's gonna be like you're a fucking idiot can she give definitely ask her for like i don't diagnosis is that the right word like what i guess why is my question and then how is the follow-up question on the top of my head i think what i think like one of the possible causes is like they're like just like a traumatic experience so sometimes like kids will go through something like

super super traumatic and then they just don't say a word like they're just like all of a sudden just like one day happens and they don't speak again and it's just a whole fucking freakish thing but anyways yeah well one of the kids was didn't ever hear him speak so i don't know if he had an accent but apparently had an accent and that's why he didn't speak or at least that's the story it's not like we ever got that story but that's like what his friends would say um either way i found nestor on social media a couple years ago because i don't know why it like suggested me uh he's a furry now so you know good for him i mean because that's a really good um i was thinking like if he's gonna go career path

that's a pretty solid pipeline though i'm not gonna lie like the meat kid to furry pipeline you don't have to you don't have to speak anymore like everything is just kind of in your uh in your mannerisms i respect it don't they like make animal noises yeah they get well they're like i'm pretty sure furries can speak i don't know but like mascots don't it's very it's very simple though to just be like like i'm wearing this fucking big old fit and i can just do hand motions and shit and then you understand what i'm trying to say i don't think anybody is going to be like hey i think that furry is a mute we need to get them diagnosed like they're just like no it's just a furry i always said what's a furry con in pittsburgh and it's like

man it was really quiet we got to get them all checked out it's just a lot of shuffling and dude if a kid showed up to denise's work with mutism but like also was in a furry costume at the same time what do you think she would do like do you accept them in i mean like you can't tell them to take their like helmet the thing is too with kit i mean so it probably would be difficult because like especially like so much of her job is like looking at like their mouth and stuff and like that's how like you can like figure that so like maybe they have to take like the helmet off but like um like i mean kids come i'm sure kids like come dressed up all the time for shit like kids used to come dressed up to like school and shit like you know

what i mean like kids be wearing capes and shit like this kid wants to but like also like uh i don't know i feel like there's a lot of implication to being a furry and just like i don't think like i feel like kids aren't like it's diving into that i don't know man because of the implication i don't know man the implication i wasn't ready i wasn't ready to talk about children being furries right now i wasn't prepared for this conversation you're doing great i gotta be honest you took it around i wasn't trying to go i was just trying to talk about uh how she would get around trying to get an animal to speak you went with like episode 169 we'll talk about it more you know it's gonna tell you it's gonna be a round. I'm not drafting in the fetish draft.

Mute furries. It is Wednesday, my dude. I'm going to fuck you, Brian. Yo, how do you get milk out of a crack? Give me milk now,

mommy. Fat matches. Solve world hunger tonight. I get this vagina animal style. Bonnie is Wonderland. Be the way. I'm sweater. Ow! me fat matches solve world hunger tonight look at this vagina animal style funny as wonderland that came as an orgasm that's like an orgy my guy what's up sluts the olympics are a fraud your word is reichster baby you're gross you were close to my butthole he is just eating right through your bottom self trying to low-key penetrate you i shall not yeah i shall not

walking around just shit himself all the time trying to have sex with 11 gun to the peen is what you need brother white jesus kirby's down there just low kneecaps are not organs fuck you ratatouille it it's Wednesday my dudes episode 106 uh it's my episode this week so this will be fun uh Zach's out he's gonna show up at halftime though play some hockey in between intermission uh we got Corey what is up we got rucks hello there the angel from my nightmare and where are you and i'm so well anyways rucks how was your week um it was good so uh it was den Denise's birthday. So some people were visiting last weekend. Friday, just had some marks, made some nachos, had a very chill night. And then Saturday, went to brunch in Georgetown.

Oh, greatest breakfast buffet in the world. Shout out Farmers, Fishers, Bakers. And then after that, did one of my favorite things to do, a little boozy walk on the mall always have a great time um brought pooch with me she was fantastic i've never walked her that much can you have alcohol and like no like container now but like i just we just put it in like maybe got it um cory's experiences before before I've seen it legally but yeah I walked pooch around and then we were out

there for a while we walked so much and it was so fucking nice and hot and then after it came back little intermission then we went to this outdoor bar called electric kool-aid that's really fucking cool um i had some beverages there um another awesome like a super fun thing that more bars need to do is this bar had like excuse me throats kill me on the outside um now it's like fences are all metal and they just had like you know like the little words that you put on like fridges and stuff where

people like you can like reorganize them into different like sentences they just had like you know like the little words that you put on like fridges and stuff where people like you can like reorganize them into different like sentences they just had like magnets yeah they were magnets yes okay but they had like a bunch of those and like man like we were just going to town on them it was it's a great thing to just get all the vibes going um and then yeah sunday didn't do fucking shit. Sunday just fucking late. But then after that, yeah, we came back. And we were like, do we go out? And everyone was just fucking exhausted because we'd been in the sun for like nine hours. And so we tapped out.

But overall, very solid weekend. Good time. Happy birthday to our niece Denise. And then, yeah, I gave it it so i used the dog emoji and then i searched sound in the emojis and like the little there should be a i don't know i speaker i'm an idiot but i it's like a little like explosion looking thing explosions but um i've two i chose those i chose those dog exploded i chose those because uh your boys dogs were barking all weekend my feet were just so fucking tired from walking so much and

then on top of that like my dog literally well she doesn't really bark that much but like i guess she was barking i don't know so she's a mute is she furry oh she is furry but she was like born into it like she doesn't like put anything on like she's just in her dna born to be that way we're gonna break her out of the call do you think if your parents are furries you could be born into it they like cover you as soon as you come out the womb what i feel like you have a choice why did you say it like why you say why the fuck did you say it from failure i don't know was that yeah star wars no it was going by the okay i guess we don't talk about baby furs again uh cory you're up we'll get back to it a third

time don't worry it's my episode how's your week probably uh it was good we didn't really do much because we drove straight to uh albany right after work on Friday. Got in late, so just said hey to my parents and then went to sleep. And then we went there because we were celebrating Hefe's B-Day on Sunday. B-Day. Yeah. Just a B-Day weekend for friends and family. But we just literally sat in the house all day and just hung out with my parents on Saturday. But we watched the coronation.ire and i watched the crown recently so like i couldn't give two

shits like six months ago about the royal family but now that i like actually watched the crown and know their like background and stuff super into it it's interesting i don't know if i'd say i'm into it because i watched the coronation on saturday and man it was just fucking boring like all it was jeff's description of it was like all they did is just they kept taking like all these old like royal items like a gold staff and a rod and a globe orb thingy they put in people's asses he just had to like i don't don't know, swear on the items, I guess. But it was so many items. And my dad just kept calling them horcruxes.

And it was actually a very good analogy. So, but yeah, we watched that all morning. And then like help my mom cook. And then we watched every year when we were all together, we would celebrate my dad's birthday by watching the Kentucky Derby. Because it's always on like the day or same weekend yeah um so i like i my mom was like oh we have to do a whole derby day so she got like weird hats and shit and then we she's like you're in charge of all the bets because you keep gambling i was like okay so i texted like my all my family like cousins grandparents uncles whatever and uh got like probably like 15 to 20

bets in just like from everybody like pick a horse and um it's just it was just like really funny because like we made a big deal about it and i just always pick number eight to win and number eight won and nobody else won so i just asked everybody to place bets and then was like yeah i won by the way like it was like so claire just called it rigged yeah uh it was really funny but uh won two hundred dollars so it's going straight towards uh chicago weekend because the next race of the triple crown is uh maybe not the race, but the last one is that weekend. So we're going to be losing a lot of money that day. Yeah.

Then drove back on Sunday. Claire and I are into crosswords now, too, because it was a good time killer for the car ride. Hey, good time killer for the car ride. Can I just say, when we were at Electric Kool kool-aid the derby was on and we were like my favorite thing to do is always just everyone pick a horse whoever's horse gets the whoever's horse gets the highest place everyone knows that person to drink and so like five of us like just picked random fucking horses like eight seconds before the race started and i picked fucking i picked mage for the name and i was like, that's just so goofy. And then they won too.

Me and Corey, dude. The boys are ready for the bachelor party weekend. I'll tell you that right now. Do we have to get out of parlay for the bachelor party? Dude, if you think we're only doing one parlay, you're out of your fucking mind. I'll tell you that. We're doing a lot.

Hourly parlays. Kevin actually follows jockeys and trainers and owners of horse racing like every weekend so it's gonna that's a lot it'll get a little in depth uh but i i was thinking more more hockey than than horses no it's gonna be at least it's gonna be all the above okay all right yeah put your hands together there's some like pickleball in there why are we doing this because because horse racing on one hand and then hockey on the other hand and you put them together you gamble on both anyway uh i rated my weekend the emoji of a crown and a horse uh for obvious reasons brian how was your weekend hey thanks man um i got a question for you guys uh would you consider a bad sign if birds keep

flying into your window and then dying yeah it's like big time haunted haven't you ever seen the conjuring i haven't but i worked the movie theater when it came out and no one knows how to say that movie title for some reason so i remember that what kind of birds were they dead ones before they flew into the windshield maybe it wasn't the windshield window very suicidal are they all die are they actually dying or are they just running into it no so i was just like putting stuff away because i'm still unpacking and i just loud thought at my window. And there's like a couple of feathers left on the window. I was like, well, I guess I was a bird.

And then like a couple hours later, I was talking with Tom. He's like, oh yeah, there's a dead bird under your window outside. And I was like, oh. And then I went out and looked at it. And yeah, there's a dead bird. I thought you meant car window. Like when you said this. No.

No. Dude, that's terrifying. i'm not visiting you guys anymore fuck that was your apartment recently built no it's pretty old so maybe haunted we're going that route yeah it's got it yes okay but like haunted by a bird no haunted by like i mean by the birds ghost it's like when rooks drowned in the sims he was like constantly wet oh but like now it's just a bird ghost so i'm just gonna find like feathers and poop everywhere probably all right it's good to know um i then dropped my toothpaste into the toilet uh so that was a good day related to the dead bird or just it's just a factoid it was

that's the curse like an hour later so it was like you know to compound on the curse oh my god toilet paper toilet a bird flew in my window and died and i dropped my toothpaste in the toilet this place is haunted the walls will ooze i was just about to fucking say that oh my god i was just about to fucking say that oh i'm dead it's so good yeah so this place might be haunted um also i got a youtube video idea for us my week's gonna be all over the place because it's my episode so i'm gonna just ramble i've been at ikea a lot and if you ever look at the floor there's pretty much like a track with a lot of arrows and in my head it goes for about a mile so my thought is we all go to a different ikea and try to see how many miles we can log jogging through it without security

uh telling us to leave i want i want to estimate of how far you guys think i thought you were gonna say do do a marathon or half marathon and see who gets the quickest. I don't think we have to get security involved and shit. What are we, a fucking prank channel on YouTube? Or it's like, oh, they're throwing me out, dude. It's because I'm

white. It's just... You know those YouTube channels? I'm not saying we have to get them involved. We got kicked out of Ikea. Parentheses. Emotional. That was actually really good.

That was really good, Rux. So how far do you think you can go then, Rux? Man, I can't even fucking... I can't go far without fucking waiting to see if security tells me, bro. I got like a mile in me. You have a mile inside, bro. I got like a mile in me. You have a mile inside of you.

I feel like the Ikea that I know, like the exit just like, you'd have to run back out into the building. Is that what you're saying? You know an Ikea. First name? It's inside of him. We go way back.

I don't know. How how many miles you think i don't know like yeah three okay that's pretty good because like you think the first time you see it it's like okay then the second time it's like huh then the third time it's like what are you what well i'm saying are you so like do you have to run this yeah no just walking i think you could walk all day and they're not going to say anything. I think you got to show up in like sweat bands and like wristband. Like you got to look like you're running a marathon. Some compression socks.

Get a little bib with a number on it and then just like jog through. Eat some Skittles while you're doing it. Like water bottle table. Probably really make it a whole deal. Yeah. Random question. bottle table probably to really make a whole deal actually yeah random question like this is such a tangent but has anybody ever wiped sweat with a sweatband before like like yeah besides professionals professional tennis players not professional i'm just headband wipers i'm just saying like bro like they're called sweatbands but like no one like they're just for a trip like you think the dudes in college football that have the tiny

fucking little sweatbands that 14 of them down their arm is just wiping constantly no shot those aren't those aren't sweat they are sweatbands it's the same thing it's the same fucking thing no it's fabric Zach will know what they are hold on I gotta clap in the mic

alright we're good we i gotta clap in the mic all right we're good we have an entrance no you have to keep that in holy fuck you have to keep that in are you recording oh yeah we're locked and loaded i don't have any sweatpants out right now i took my jeans off because i just got we're changing on the fly what a great way to jump in jumping hot too it was perfectly when we thought it would be um i my laptop's about to die uh so i'm gonna grab my charger but while it's charging zach how many laps do you think you could take in an ikea before security tells you to stop laps yeah yeah uh like oh like you're running through an ikea and you want to see how long you can i think i'm gonna get i think i'm gonna get tired before i they stop me like i don't think it's a yeah

dude i can barely run a mile now that i think about it i feel like people i feel like people in ikea like i don't know if i've seen anyone full sprint in ikea but there are people hustling and bustling in ikea like there's some people that are like, oh my God, we got to get down there before fucking A24 gets taken out of that shit. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, do I get a cart or a basket of some sort? Because if I have the accoutrements, the accessories of an Ikea,

do I have a cinnamon roll? Ooh, Swedish meatballs? Swedish meatballs, yeah. You have a sweatband. You get a meatball for every lap you run. Oh, dude, I'm yakking. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, again, I think Iking. Yeah. Um, yeah, I mean,

I, again, I think I get tired before they kick me out. Really? Dude, I'm slow. My body, this body ain't built for running,

bro. Zombie apocalypse. I am dead. Depends on zombie apocalypse. They can be fast. They can be slow. You know, there's different ones.

Anyways. All right. I thought you guys would, uh, be more confident in your IKEA skills. This is the Brian episode, isn't it? I mean, oh, yeah. Yeah, I was going to say, what a dumb question. Yeah, okay. I feel like you don't see security guards in IKEA.

So somebody's just going to watch you on a camera running around. What are they going to do? I feel like as long as you're not bumping into shit, why does it matter? Then great. Then be the first person to run a marathon in ikea get it in the guinness book of world records i feel like everyone in ikea i feel like ikea there's only two types of people like everyone's either too stressed or like not stressed enough does that make sense like i feel like everyone's either sprinting like so fucking like and maybe there's just me maybe i'm the only one that's ever like super stressed in ikea when i'm ikea like i can't breathe there's just so much going on there's people everywhere all the aisles

are too small and i'm like fucking scrunching through past people but then like everybody i'm fucking massive burn don't give me that face um and then been to an ikea there's not aisles it's like there there are aisles in different areas you bitch there's aisles in many areas you fucker um have you been to the blanket aisle um have you been to the aisle that has pans and utensils and all that shit i don't think that's in just on the walls buddy okay there are aisles for that thank you um and then second like everyone other people just like will walk into the rooms and they'll just like it's like they just walked into their new house for the first time. But they're like just looking around and taking it all in.

It's like, well, you're not buying any of this shit. Like, why are you standing here? People in a hurry. I've definitely seen the latter. Like I've I've been that person who's like you just take a day to go to Ikea because you're just going to end up getting food, Swedish meatballs. And then you're going to go look at like interior design design like figure out what you want to do with your house like i feel like if you're in a rush you don't go to ikea because it's like it is a maze already so like you're just setting yourself back well i like i go in like especially shopping for like uh like home

type shit like i know exactly what i'm looking for. I know the things I need to check off my list. Again, I'm not going to walk into these fake rooms that are set up and look at the fucking price tag and aisle number for every item in this fucking room. I'm just going to be like, don't need any of this shit. I'm going to keep walking. Don't need any of this shit. I'm going to keep walking.

And then once I get to my section, it's like, boom, bam, bop, bada-beam, boom, pow. Just a blanket aisle. I will say the worst is when you like realize that you want to get something like way back because there's no like quick way to get there you gotta run back like past everybody else and you're just like

you look like a fucking idiot looks like you're running a marathon in IQ I always feel like a dick when you're going like opposite of the arrows like the arrows are all pointing one direction and like even if it's one sector behind you're running a marathon in Ikea. I always feel like a dick when you're going like opposite of the arrows, like the arrows are all pointing one direction. And like, even if it's one sector behind, you look like a piece of shit. Anyways.

Yeah. Okay. Oh, I had to drive a, another Ikea story. So I thought I had to buy a mattress. I, for some reason thought I could fit the mattress inside of my car.

You're so fucking, you are so fucking dumb. Are you? I can realize, I had to buy a mattress. I, for some reason, thought I could fit the mattress inside of my car. You're so fucking dumb. Are you fucking serious? I can relate to Brian on this one. I have a story. What size mattress? Thank you. Full.

You are so fucking dumb. I want to see. I want to hear how you got out of this situation. It's pretty close. Brian, I want to hear how you got out of this situation. Because I have a solution with a galaxy brain move by me. So I'm excited to hear yours. Mine was not a galaxy brain. It was pretty straightforward.

When I moved out from Pittsburgh, my mattress sort of fit in my car. But we were like, it took up too much room and we were like, we'll just sell it and we'll pack everything else. But when they got the, I want to go buy it. And they're like, Oh, you have to go to another place. So I had to like drive a couple of miles away to some giant warehouse and they like wheeled it out for me, but it's in like a box, like a big cardboard thing. So you can't like shove it into your car.

And I was like, I'm not going to like take it out of the box, try to shove in the car can't, and then have to be like like try to return it like a minute later so there was just a box of like twine out like next to the door so i spent like an hour and a half just tying it to the roof but i got like half a mile down the road and it was really windy that day for some reason and the top of it just starts flopping in the wind so i like pull to the side all of the rope is completely loose and i don't have little like straps to tie down for anything so it's just knots by hand i was like this is a nightmare so tied everything down again got back on the road and the way to get home like the one normal path it's like a 45 degree incline straight up and i was like there's no way this thing's

gonna stay on the top of my car if i take that path so i have to like change my phone to not be highways and like loop all the way around everything and stay on the top of my car if I take that path. So I have to change my phone to not be highways and loop all the way around everything. And I'm the idiot with my arm out the window trying to hold it down to the roof like that does anything. Are you fucking kidding me? It was bad. It was only like three miles away, but it took me like an hour, man. I stopped like three or four times to retie everything. So, yeah.

Zach, what was your galaxy brain move other than just tie it down? Stopped like three or four times to retie everything. So, yeah. Zach, what was your galaxy brain move other than just tie it down? Oh, I bought a TV from Costco. Couldn't fit my car. Called an Uber XL. Doubled that guy's fare. And popped that puppy in there. He drove it home for me.

At that point, you'd probably just pay for delivery and it would probably be cheaper. Doubt it. I paid him like 10 bucks was the original fare i paid him 20 and uh dang yeah oh so that's really smart yeah i should have uber xl can you do an uber truck is that a thing no i just called the uber xl as soon as it picked up the guy i called him and i said hey listen i'm in the costco parking lot i need help delivering this tv and he was was like, yeah, no worries. And yeah, we got it delivered. You're so much smarter than I am. And then the Costco guy, Uber guy, and you just sat down and watched the game.

Well, I was with my friends. So I had to. I took my one buddy with the Uber driver in his front seat so I wouldn't just steal my TV. He just fucking leaves. That's actually a really good call. Yeah, that's probably the right move. Yeah, the fucking hauling the bed makes me think, I was helping

this is how dumb my friend fucking Dan is. I love you if you listen, if you're listening, but I'm literally, I'm helping him move all his shit out of his old place and he put his, was back when i had a truck so he put his bed he put his bed frame and then bed on top of it in my pickup and they both like sunk in but the top like the mattress like is kind of dangling out he didn't fucking take his sheets off the bed like his fitted sheet so we get fucking like and i like i i put the like

i put the i put the mattress pad on like in the bed and then he was carrying the mattress and i was going and grabbing other shit so i just didn't even pay attention we get like fucking three minutes down the road and i get i get like 30 miles per hour and it looks like me chased by a fucking ghost or some shit dude like this fucking thing is just floating in the air behind me whips off on fucking burn on fucking norbeck and i was like oh my fucking god and dan's like follow me i was like go get your fucking sheets and i was like why in the fuck did you leave that on your bed he's like oh my god dude i didn't think about it man i was like you're so fucking dumb i was so pissed i was waiting for the Dan impression that entire time.

Yeah, I was really nervous that my mattress was going to fly off and hit a car behind me. Do zero damage, but I'd still have to get out and be like, Sorry, I don't know what I'm doing. And put it on the sidewalk, drive home, and figure something else out to come pick it back up. But yeah, I don't know. Dragon Ball update. If you want to watch like 10 to 15 episodes of Goku just running around with Frankenstein, apparently that happens in Dragon Ball at one point.

So this show is weird. What? There's a reason people watch Dragon Ball Z and not just Dragon Ball. How many seasons are there? Do they do seasons? I don't even know the structure of this thing. They usually do like arcs. It's not really a season. But for Dragon Ball, I have no idea what the arcs are.

Usually it's like there's a bad guy and that's the like quote unquote season. Do I have to watch it forward or backward? Usually forward. Isn't Dragon Ball just like human Pokemon? But instead of the Pokemon evolving, the humans evolve. They go Super Saiyan or whatever? That's kind of a good way to look at it. No one owns them, though.

Well, no. But yeah, I mean, they got moves as well. I don't think they all say their names like Pokemon do. Goku screamed his own name before, I bet. Usually they scream other people's names shit what would be happening on that show though goku and chichi have so many kids what are you talking about all right two more things one has anyone heard the movie john dies at the end what happens uh spoiler john doesn't die at the end of the movie really was like waiting for it to happen like either one of two things gonna happen one he just dies of course

and you're like yeah they told me or two he doesn't die until like the last second and then nothing in like the danger is gone and then he just like randomly dies you're like oh ha there's the punch line but no that never happens um the opening scene there's a giant pile of meat that turns into a humanoid demon uh there's lots of time travel a doorknob turns into a dong uh there's paul giamatti uh a mustache rips off and flies around like a bat and then like 10 minutes before the end of the movie they drop a hard r and it did not sit well. It's like a 2005 movie. Did you say a door knob turns into a dong?

A dong. Yeah. A big floppy dong. I'm just going to say, I don't think I've heard anyone use the word dong referencing a penis since I was in elementary or middle school. More like clock ringing. Because the door knob started with a D.

A dong. Because you say dick. Yeah, that doorknob turned into a dong. It just doesn't. Hey, thanks. Sorry. Continue. Four out of ten.

Not a good movie. That hard R dropped it a couple points. That's not cool. Only a couple. Not cool. I mean, yeah. I mean not... Only a couple? Not cool. I mean... Yeah. I mean, there's a drop of two...

This show wasn't from 2005, dude. This is 2012. It's close. This was a real problem. It was John Tucker Must Die. They just took out the word Tucker and replaced it with Will. Must with Will.

That's also not the title. It's just John Dies at the end well same thing jesus uh lastly uh your book should have qr codes that will show you everyone's up-to-date social media pages that's pretty sick one actually i want to stalk people right all right whoa someone i can't someone clipped that hold on someone clipped that consensually stalked them i don't know if they put the qr code in there getting worse getting worse is that worse how's that worse it feels like you have you having to say it feels like you needed to say it and that's why it feels well if folks goes oh i feel like i have to say something

i can't double down this is the gotcha episode of brian just keep digging that hole deeper brother i'll keep going um so i deleted my facebook so like there's nothing that like links me to a lot of people from my like high school because like before it's like oh you're friends with these 200 people here's the 201st person from your school that you should probably be friends with so it's easy to find them but man everyone has a very generic name not easy to find people so you know qr code just forever you can find their social media very problematic but like i would like it i mean unless they delete delete it. I like that idea. It's linked to your social security number. I like the idea. I'm just not going to dive in the deep end here and say

I want to stalk people. But I think the idea is good. You don't have to say it, but we know you want to. I mean... Yeah. Just a little check. What are they up to all right zach how's your week now that you're here at halftime uh my week was good thanks for

asking uh friday went to the cubs game got absolutely banged up um it was a uh it was a good game they won game was only two hours shout out to the pitch clock got back to the bars super quickly had about four or five rbvs got kind of crossfaded too which wasn't great so just just ripping some some bloonskies back at home fellas also took adderall so fell asleep without eating anything again jesus and uh so then woke up on saturday recovered a little bit went with the buddy's house, played some PGA, uh, on his PlayStation while watching the Derby and NBA basketball, um, went out for a little bit, had one more RBV and, uh, then went to bed and it's pretty nice.

And then on Sunday, uh, it was beautiful in Chicago. So I walked to get a new tie and pocket square for a wedding i have coming up it looks very nice on me what color uh it is a mint green floral tie with accents of purple and blue and then it's a purple pocket square that matches directly actually sounds sick it's very fire i will send a pic to the group chat please do i'm looking forward um yeah it was good uh the hawks are back we got bradard so on just unreasonable unreal stupid but hey congrats i'm i'm happy you're happy again after being sad for one season of hockey yeah i've suffered long enough so blackhawks are back bears are back if the bulls get the number one pick and draft one

banyama chicago sports are just all the way back we've just sucked for the right amount to then be all the way back this reminds me of arizona iced tea yeah hell yeah which like i'm on board with good choice for a tie you just need to carry around anrizona ice to the entire wedding now just i just need to slap a 99 cents on me somewhere embroidery on the back of your suit and big like red letters no on the inside the liner oh that'd be actually hard that would be really hard that'd be when's this wedding huh when's this wedding uh it's next uh not this weekend but next weekend what i could do is i could just buy a bunch of uh arizona's and just cut them like cut

them out of their can form and lay them down and then just tape them on the inside it would shred absolutely my core but i look pretty sweet yeah it was oh shit yo look at this shit no i don't know if this is real but it's a fucking uh it's iced tea wearing a fucking wearing like a suit it's like a it's like a coat that has arizona thing and it has the 99 cents on it dude that's tough oh that's wild that's a wild fake it's so fake but it's tough you can definitely see it's painted yeah i don't know that wasn't fake i just want you know when you want something to just be real like i just wanted that to be look at that real life can just perfectly 2d out of the carpet absolutely no shadow at all. It's drip, though.

It was good. Well, we got the the boys had the GBD Invitational second annual one coming up on Saturday. So we're looking forward to that. But I will recap that next week. The Great British putt off. No, the guys being dudes

Invitational. GBD. Hmm. Yeah, I had the letters wrong on that that's for me hell yeah Jesus have you guys ever heard of the Rhode Island School of Design

no anyone else why would I say yes to this? There's a reason, Zach. Okay, no. I thought the acronym was going to be Smith-Spilson. I know. That's what I thought too.

I was like, no. Okay, good. There's one special thing about this school. It's not the acronym. It's the mascot. Oh, okay, good. There's one special thing about this school. It's not the acronym. It's the mascot. Oh, God. And we want to take a guess as to what the mascot is for the Rhode Island School of Design. Shit sandwiches.

Close. Corey? A bird in a window. Like, flying into a window. Oh, dead bird in a window. Dead bird in a window. Further, flying into a window. Oh, dead bird in a window. Dead bird in a window. Further, colder. Zach?

The sea cucumbers. Ooh. All right, halfway between Rooks and Zach. It's Scroaty the Scrotum? Shut the fuck up. Go on Google. I don't want to. So, the mascot for Rhode Island. Well, don't type in scrotum scrotum but

i guess you type it in with rhode island school design the same time the mascot is just like a pair of balls like the mascot itself is just a sack so it's incredible they're like it's like sort of the unofficial mascot but they still show up to the games and like is on the sideline for the basketball team and stuff. What in the fuck? The basketball team. Also, their unofficial name is the balls. The hockey team's unofficial name is the Nads and the fencing team's name is the pricks. So I got a theme going on here.

Wow. Oh, my God, bro. so I got a theme going on here oh my god this thing is awful their slogan is when the heat is on the ball stick together so you know a lot of team spirit at this school so our next draft for March Madness I know who I'm picking they gotta make the tournament oh yeah they're definitely making the tournament once we're gonna just pump them full of funds with all of our podcast

advertising money we're gonna pump the scroties oh yeah we're gonna pump those balls pump them full dude what if Dude, what if on the fucking... What if the mascot had a fucking lever

or something and when they're doing good he's like fully wrecked and then when something bad happens, he presses up fine and that shit just deflates down. He just needs to have some springs in there. That'd actually be pretty easy. Oh my god, that's so good.

T-shirt cannon at the top. Oh my god. He gets hard and fucking comes a t-shirt? That's wild. I'd go all in on that. I'm fucking investing. I mean mean if you're already gonna name your team that why haven't they done this is the thing yeah i don't i don't okay so i look like where did it burn where did you see that this was their unofficial like mascot and shit oh

internet radio reddit all the above is it just it just looked like some random dude dressed up in a fucking cock outfit and then wore it to games on when on my google search which like fine but like i don't know if that's a mascot all right well i got an article here uh rhode island school of design students love their nads and balls uh by sid ziegler on july 11th 2022 or 2012 so uh yeah i mean look at look at this logo for the basketball team yeah i saw that and the two balls and i saw the nads classic do the this is just like a movie from this is just like the school from the movie accepted this is just the plot the shit sandwiches women's team yeah have are they also sandwiches. Does the women's team have,

are they also the nads, the women's teams? Because didn't you say the different teams had different names, like the balls was basketball or something? Mm-hmm.

Hockey is the nads, fencing is the pricks. The women's teams, I mean, if your mascot's still the balls, I don't know why it would be different. See, I don't respect that.

You gotta stick to a mask. You gotta have some uniformity. If balls aren't good for everyone, you can't be ballsing for just one. You gotta balls to the walls, they say. To all the walls. The heat is on. Balls stick together. Quack quack.

It's actually kind of a bar, honestly. Yeah, it is. Okay. Ship it. The story of Scrody, the dick and balls mascot that could don't mean to read all this please god 20 pages long absolutely not

it is the brian episode you should have just started with the brian episode reading all of that and just caught us way off guard it's just just an audio book from the very beginning oh let's see good that's what i think i think and just caught us way off guard. It's just an audio book from the very beginning. That's too good. That's what I think.

I think if my episode's next week, I think I'm just going to have us read the B-movie script and that's just going to be it. I'm just going to read it. I would be in. If we all get a character, for sure. I'll think about it. Dude, in this article, it goes from talking about the Balls mascot

to then talking about Brian is currently head down in Airbnb's effort to help support the refugee crisis in Ukraine and Afghanistan. What? How'd the dude that did the Ball mascot also help out Ukraine and Afghanistan? Hey, he got his

platform and then tried using it for good, man. I respect that it for good, man. I respect that. I guess, man. Wild. Incredible. I think we need to talk to this Brian kid and tell him our idea about the t-shirt cannon and really up the pageantry on his performance.

We should just become a podcast for their campus. Even though we don't go there? I know even though you would be catching a t-shirt, can you imagine getting hit

with something that came out of an erect penis mascot in the crowd? that's a tough look like i don't think i don't even know if i would want that t-shirt to be honest if you did that at least one time for sure i'm gonna dip that t-shirt into like some water or something to make it like questionable when you grab it just like oh my god like emotion yeah like that's what i'm saying dude if and i'm sure they don't have like a massive basketball scene or anything we're getting fucking came on in fucking broad daylight around

fucking a thousand people dude fuck that we should make an only fence for the mascot it should just be sponsored by only fans yo loki or the student section or first rose should be called the splash zone anyone i like that it's a ripoff but don't say it don't say it don't say brian don't say it the spunk zone yeah god damn it i actually wasn't going that direction great great callback i mean yeah we put we put scurry the scrum in the spunk tank easy i thought you should call the student section the only fans because no you call them so much better first row you call the first row you call the landing strip and then have the all those those chairs are all different color than the rest of the chairs just the front row is one color i hate this so much but also that's a bar they do a white out

yeah why would you oh but like why would you dunk scroty the scrotum in in the the tank that's like putting a cow in milk don't you i'm not i'm not no i'm i'm saying for the t-shirts like the the fucking landing strip is the only area that's getting sprayed with t-shirts okay i like that i like that i'm saying it's like that i like that yo low-key to like bring it back around to like the opening too do you think like he could get away with being a furry as a dick like oh that's his like that's his furry that's his, like... That's his furry? That's his personality? It's just a fucking penis? Do you think that would pass? Do we even get a furry on here?

How furry is it? It isn't, like, Sasquatch penis, and it's just, like, covered in fur? Ew, dude. I don't know if you guys looked at the mascot. It's a gross-looking mascot. Putting fur on that thing would gross me the fuck out. I'm not gonna lie. I would be so...

I would be super... As a hairy person myself, i would be super as a hairy person myself i would be super uncomfortable looking at it that's all i'm gonna say every t-shirt you get's also just covered in hair that you have to roll off that is where i draw the line oh unsubscribe i mean that's horrible one week one week a year it's like the the shaved version of it and it's sponsored by some like laser hair removal dude manscape the easiest fucking thing in the world dude manscape sponsors everybody dude yeah yeah this is the one they turned out

we draw the line here this is actually our best idea on this on this podcast we've had some good ones we keep developing it man condom gun actually is probably the best but then this dude here's how we here's how we market for the condom gun okay halftime the dicks out there jumping around oh hi all of a sudden the lights go, the lights go out. The lights come back on, and there's just a huge fucking condom gun mascot staring at that mascot. And then instead of, like,

you know how at Nationals games they have the three mascots race? Instead of this, now we're just playing tag, you know what I'm saying? And then eventually, the condom gun always gets to the dick, and then we have to have a then eventually the condom gun always gets to the dick and then we have to have a fully functioning mascot condom gun, but we could make it work.

We're going to make the penis get erect so, you know. I think we have the technology. It's like one of those rockets where you step on the pedal and then you have to let it blow up. Yeah, you just put the pedal at the heel and then the mascot walks on his toes when he wants to fire it off, he just slams his

heel down. It's easy. Or a button on the palm would be easier, but not as much. No, I want the foot action. What if we're at hockey games? Every time the Zamboni comes out, there's like a turret on the back and that is the condom gun. And then the mascot skates around and you get a fan

every intermission to try to have to like catch the dick mascot with a condom it's like it's like a lasso in a bowl but like with latex on ice on ice great idea yeah i'm sold you know what they should do for a fucking rodeo just put that shit on ice man it would make it

so much more entertaining be sick it would be if you could teach a bull how to ice skate you're selling tickets man sounds like a euphemism and teach a bull how to ice skate or not a euphemism like a like a like a southern saying there you go it's like the the the lesson you learn at the end of like an asap's fable you know yeah an asap an asap rocky fable exactly yeah that's that's more like it man the landing strip is good the landing strip's a bar dude i don't care i feel like the landing strip needs to be like the name of the arena you know how like it gets named after i was thinking what the or like

i mean you can call it you call the arena just the thunderdome like people have referred to like the bedroom is the thunderdome like that's a that's an innuendo like that could be both yeah i'm trying to find what uh oh good you're trying to find a condom gun mascot we haven't fucking put it together yet no i'm trying to find i don't understand the condom gun mascot part like it's a person a person in a full fucking gun. He's in a gun, right? He's running around. He's just the handle. But he has the front part of the barrel of the condom gun facing out.

So he can see through the barrel, but it sticks out really far. His eyes are that direction? Yes. And his body's the grip. Yes, his body's in the barrel okay and then he runs around and then once he gets to the penis he oh man this is i don't want to that was gonna just sound so bad just with me describing it as like actually what's happening it was gonna sound terrible and

i stopped myself and i'm very proud of myself for that but yeah that would i wanted that clip man that would be bad great marketing though on our parts i'm not gonna lie they should call us we're trying to find any sports schedule for their college just so you know we can play in it in our calendar and do a live show or something um they're they're in the liberal arts division in sports, apparently. Who the fuck do they play? I can't even find a schedule on their homepage of their college. For a design school, their website sucks. The fact that they have... I feel like this might be dumb, but I didn't think schools for designs had sports teams.

Also, a school for design and they designed that as their mascot is awesome. It's genius. Makes sense. Look, when you can think outside the box, because you're not at a school that's accredited for anything, you can do what you want.

So, I'm proud of them. What? Wait. i don't understand any of this there's a i don't know what i don't know what mascot this one is but i found like a poster for what i'm assuming is like a hockey game for their team and it, here's to nads that don't shrink in the cold. And then it has scrotie versus clammy. Oh, no. No. What school's mascot is clammy? I don't know.

It might be the women's side. Yeah, maybe. What? I don't know. What school changed its fucking mascots between the boys and girls teams? I mean, we said that would be stupid, but apparently they're doing it. I think that one might be worse. This is bad.

Yeah, Clammy is... This is not good. I mean, Clammy and Scrody are both equally ridiculous, right? I don't think one is worse than the other scrotty is way more ridiculous yeah clams it clams at least like that's a like an animal like that's like that could like do you call it is it an animal or crustacean i don't know what's the word is that what it is crustacean i think that's closer or no mollusk maybe fuck i don't know oh i think that's it yeah but like one of those like it's

like it's still it's like a living organism you know or yeah you know what i mean if you if you go to the link i said it's a penis not a living organ it's a part of a living organism please scroll down to where they have a promotion of like it's just a poster that somebody hung on the wall that one of the students I have to assume used as a promotion it's not the clammy versus screwed

no no no underneath that bro what is this school yo for the viewers it is someone holding a basketball two basketballs in their hands facing away from the camera and there is someone blowing them that we can't we can't see there is white splooge in front of the person and at the top it says. Are you coming? Holy. Oh guys.

I found. This is registration. The season is September 24th. To April 10th. For their basketball IM team. So I'll keep. It's not even like D3. It's an IM team. There might be...

This whole time we've just been talking about fucking intramural sports. This shit doesn't mean anything about anything. I can't... I can't find... I'll do some research. We're talking about giving them fucking funding for a full stadium with a landing strip and then two fucking interactive mascots

and these people have zero revenue. I mean, I'm not surprised I still the like sort of logo the like name for the hockey team it's the nads but it's like the S continues as a hockey stick but then there's two pucks underneath it I like it subtle

we know we're talking about this whole time but it's actually designed by that school. Bro, can we enroll in school again? I'm going to go back to college and get a graduate degree from here.

In design? Yeah. We could probably all sign up to be mascot. Switch off off games i don't think i could run around in a dick outfit i'm not gonna lie to you that makes one of us but could you skate around in one oh dude that'd be even worse there's a lot of padding though yeah that's true maybe it's better than yeah maybe all right boys wasn't the brian episode just great just so incredible i love it hey uh we're on kind of hitting an hour here so zach what's the uh it's an outro song that i can get queued up for us since we're doing this now, who cares about copyright? Oh, that's a good point.

Can you do My Neck, My Back by Lit Gloss featuring Kia? Like a Kia? Like the Kia Soul? With an H in between. K-H-I-A. No, it's a car. Yeah, no, that makes a lot more sense.

I'll get it queued up. I got one last thing that we can talk about. We'll really complete this episode. So, question. If somehow, sometime in September, maybe not the 10th day or the 12th day sometime in between there there happens to be an event again just like her chance it happens again what do we call it

we can't just call it 9-11 part 2 like we have to give it a new name right don't make it part 2 don't make it a sequel what do we call it then I have no words for what you just asked us i have no words zach what are you calling it nine ten point five but you round up like the lion king Corey? One and a half?