It’s Wednesday My Dudes - 109: C Words B Word

Episode Date: June 7, 2023

For some reason we get way too deep into presidential slogans? Idk man.Rate us 5 stars on Spotify! and leave a review and rate on Apple Podcasts!Links here to follow on social media! and find other places to listen!

And here we go. Zach, did you hear the Dwayne the Rock Johnson news? Yeah, he's back, baby. You gonna elaborate for people? Oh, to the Fast franchise. He's fastly back. In his own spinoff with no other characters in it. Like, suppose there's like drama with Vin Diesel, not even being him and either.

So like, is it just gonna be the rocks franchise now? I don't know. They said he squashes beef with Vin Diesel, but the spinoff makes me feel like it's going to build off the last one, but they still don't want to work on set together. So I don't know. We'll see. I'm excited either way. It's also like not a sequel to the one he was already in.

It's supposed to be like its own thing. So like, I don't know. Dude, it doesn't matter. What even is even going to be about? It can't overlap because it's like own thing, sort of like, are they bringing Han back for the third time? And he's going to be him just to redo Tokyo Drift drift but it's the the rock instead he has a southern accent i mean dude it doesn't matter scene by scene they've like retconned the series so many times that i don't

really care kind of what happens as long as as long as the characters are in there they're doing cool stuff with cars the story is a is a afterthought oh i mean of course he's gonna like people's elbow a tank and, like, knock it in half. And that's going to be, like, within the first five minutes of the movie. John Cena did the attitude adjustment, which I was very happy with.

He did? Nice. Yeah. That's good. That's good news. Yeah. Movie ruined. Yeah, spoiler, man. Come on. It's sick. Yeah, what was the rating after seeing it?

Yeah, where's it going the the list oh on the list one to family one to family one to familia uh it's probably right in the middle i'd say like firmly in the middle there's there's some very worse or very more worse much worse much worse uh yeah very more much worse yeah yes exactly uh there's just so many characters they have to shove into this movie that like they don't have any time to let any of them really say anything or do anything it's just all right action scenes a couple one-liners and then another action scene just picturing like they are just action figures this set is like a scene going on and guy off the sides just like all right charlie's you go go go go go get in there come on yeah it's like if avengers endgame was every movie after you know it was like three or four movies in a row and it was only two hours instead of three and a half it's a really good point actually and they don't have any super suits and they all

have the same superpower which is just like sort of driving a car pretty well their superpower power is not dying like every every one of them i think at this point it's just invincibility right like it's it's not the car driving is secondary like just i mean the villains too because they just come back as heroes later on in other movies like they're villains and they're like oh we're family actually just kidding their invincibility and their um personality growth there we go yeah oh yeah that's pretty heroic kind of except for tyrese tyrese has been the same character since too fast you're curious Personality growth. There we go. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's pretty heroic. Except for Tyrese. Tyrese has been the same character since Too Fast, Too Furious. If you're perfect, you don't need to grow, man.

That's why I drafted him, man. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. That's true. Do you know how... And if it is broke, he can fix it. That's right. Yes, we can. It's like Bob the Builder.

Anyway, you know like those things you look back on hindsight? Is that Obama or Bob the Builder? Bob the Builder. Bob the Builder. Can he fix it? Yes, we can. It's Rosie the Builder. Yeah.

Yeah. Also, did you say was that Barack Obama? Yeah. What was his tagline for his presidential election? What the fuck is going on? For the most recent one? Change part two. What was the first one? We one change part two what was the first one we still change the first one too fast to change yeah

dude the uh just that would be actually a good like uh i don't know i don't know presidential slogans went all the way back to uh like tj's days like thomas jefferson but uh that'd be pretty sweet to find out what their slogans were but we could we could we could they're probably not tier presidential slogans campaign slogans i know they go they go really far back they go really far back this doesn't make a couple when they start mentioning like slavery uh probably from the start when did they go from pro-slavery to anti-slavery yo yo henry clay in 1844 his was who is james k polk shot spied burn kev fuck holy shit that's crazy that's kind of tough uh the first one let's bring that one back first one for it's not like oh no that slavery in a positive way what negative way what

somebody's was free soil free labor which take as slavery, and then free speech. Yeah. But then they have free men, but probably only like, yeah, I think it's even more racist. No, it's like a closet type situation. Then the next was a vote yourself a farm. This is fascinating. We could do a whole podcast on this. I'm just saying.

I want another one. We don't have any plans. Voteself a Farm. This is fascinating. We could do a whole podcast on this. I'm just saying. I want another one. We don't have any plans. Vote Yourself a Farm. Don't know what that means, but that was Abraham Lincoln. Hell yeah. The first one. His second one was

Don't Squap Horses in the Middle of the Stream. Oh, I don't know what that means. I also, I mean, let it be known, I haven't vetted the source, but it looks, it's on like a pretty, there's not as many ads and it's called PresidentsUSA.net. Ooh, net's bad. Net's bad. Net's bad, but like.

No, net's good. Net's good. No, net's the worst. Gov would be the best. Hey, hey. Then Com, then Nev. Then Nev. The one I was thinking of, by way 2008 yes we can barack obama

oh fuck off i thought it was change now is this site legit what kind of ads are on the site what are we talking here it has it has i assume his it looks like he has multiple from 2008 so now i'm now i'm concerned about this source. But it says Barack Obama 2008. Change we can believe in. Then it says Barack Obama 2008. Change we need. Then it says Barack Obama 2008.

Hope. And then it says Barack Obama 2008. Yes we can. So I don't know if you just change it as slogan. How many fucking slogans can you have? Multiple times or what? It was just the. It's changed.

The poster. 2012 Barack was a four uh forward that was a slogan so one word what's wikipedia saying my guy uh wikipedia for for barack for for barry sure unless it doesn't agree with me then don't don't bother. No, Barry has the same stuff. Yeah, yes we can. We are the ones we've been waiting for. Hope, fired up, ready to go. That was a chant. Check one off. Corey was right. Get fucked, all three of you.

I didn't say a word. When it's multiple choice and you've circled every answer, it's pretty easy. Like, I'm over here just being an innocent bystander, just catching strays man i didn't say shit i got i got no defense from you so i lumped you and that's dude 1964 linden b johnson supporters came up with a slogan for for him it says in your guts you know he's nuts dude that's jesus it's got my vote i hated that is is that pro or anti? That's pro, I think.

Because he's all on your... Oh, here's another good one. He's in your guts. Dude, these are kind of lit. An anti-democratic party slogan from a statement made to by acid amnesty and abortion for all. Hell yeah. The three A's. Who's?

Some random senator. There's another one that says for richard nixon they can't lick our dick what like that warren warren g harding 1920 cocks and cocktails into that love that love that invite me to that we love that we love that one that sounds like a fucking fraternity college party or some shit. Yeah. These can't. I don't know if I trust your source. These are all great. Herbert, what?

A chicken in every pot and a car in every garage? I've actually heard that one. What? We love that. Go back to the 1800s do you want my source I'm on chat GPT

mama where's my pa gone to the white house ha ha ha love a rhyme James Blaine freestyling chat GPT says Vin Diesel's presidential slogan would be driving america

forward i mean yeah that makes sense yeah i thought it'd be funnier it's just kind of spot on and kind of makes sense yeah it's good for them speaking of which going back to going back to the movie thing um i was gonna say is there anything hindsight 2020 that makes us look more like savages than not having a signed seat at movie theaters? Just buying tickets and then just being a free for all of hoping you got a good seat. Yeah. Yeah, it's not like there's not many other things where it is like that. Like every sporting event, usually you have a seat.

Like if there's tickets for like open seating it's like oh you got here three hours late and you're gonna go stand in a corner by the bar didn't they did they just recently like make the change where different seats are more expensive or did i make that i hate that that's dumb no they did i don't know if that's a certain movie theater i haven't experienced that yet but other seats could be cheaper it not. It's like the front row, it's like, oh, this is 50 cents cheaper. But the center is $5 more. Epic. The fuck, man.

They also do not even just like matinee and then like later being different prices. It's like every hour it increases like a couple percent. It's really dumb. It's going to be great being old, though, when we have nothing to do. Just go to the movie at 8 in the morning. Breakfast movie? Yeah. Movies won't exist in 40 years.

We'll have our VR headsets. Yeah, we'll be like experiencing it, right? We'll be in the movie. Yeah, yeah. Plug a cord in the back of our neck. Shave my head. Give me a fucking wife beater. Let me walk in and say family.

That's all i want to the movie theater and say family yeah if i was he would be i would be in fast five just drink a lot of corona and you'll it's like and just drive your car not at the same time but like there you go great advice to start the podcast. We can move on from that. Here we go. It is Wednesday, my dear. I'm going to fuck you, Brian. Yo.

How do you get milk out of a crab? Give me milk now, mommy. Fat matches. Solve world hunger. Can I get this vagina animal style? Bonnie is Wonderland. Either way. I get this vagina. Animal style. Funny as Wonderland. Be the way. I'm sweater.

Ow! That came as an orgasm? Wah, wah, wahoo! That's like an orgy, my guy. What's up, sluts? The Olympics are a fraud. Your word is Reichstrabatism. Ew, you're gross.

Anywhere close to my butthole, he is just eating right through. Your bottom's off? Trying to low-key penetrate you. Hey, boo-boo. I shall not. Yeah, I shall not. Talking around to shit himself all the time. You've been trying to have sex with a lover.

Gun to the penis is what you need, brother. White Jesus. Kirby's down there just blowing. Kneecaps are not organs. Fuck you, Ratatouille. It is Wednesday, my dudes. Welcome back to another episode of It's Wednesday, My Dudes. Episode 109.

We're talking about our favorite fonts this week. Thank you, Zach, for the suggestion. But first, Corey, how was Rap Town? You're jumping ahead to my rating. It was fun, but I did not win, so I'm sad. Loser! Oh, okay. Zero out of ten.

I didn't lose the first one, though. There you go. I guess I did this out of order. Should I announce who's here first? Rook's here. I was like, what the fuck are you... You said episode 109, and then you immediately fucked up the intro. What the hell is that about?

I mean, I could change the intro and do whatever I want. There's not rules. You know that. Sup. Hello. If that's what we're going to. Hi. Sup. Zach, say hi. Present. Present. Alright, back to Corey.

So, who beat you? Who killed you? Who has the dice? I don't. So this is... I assume't so this is i assume you don't know i don't know i assume it's phil and i think his last name's digitano so there you go world why are you doxing this man dude yeah because i'm worried about it um but i lost i won in the first round it's the same shit every year. Nobody plays until you get there. And then like they have the advantage of like playing for 30, 40 years.

Cause this was a 42nd reunion. So I like just try to take the lead. I'm like, I'm not going to set anything up, like whatever. I'm just like the little idiot that shows up to this every year. And the guy I played against in the first round, uh,

he, he set the board up but we played backwards so it was so fucking confusing like you know how you run the pieces off towards you and like off i had to like run it off away from me and it we each of us made multiple mistakes that people were like wait you can't do that and we're like fuck like it was a nightmare just set the board up right yeah it was a nightmare but i won that one so i was't do that and we're like fuck like it was a nightmare just set the board up right yeah it was a nightmare but i won that one so i was happy about that and then i lost to phil who i think was the eventual champion and i say think because i drove back home at the end of the night so i only stayed until my dad and my sister had to play each other in the semis and i

made it to the semi-finals there's only eight people in the tournament this year so they played each other and my dad beat my sister so he was in the final and i feel like i would have gotten a picture of my dad with the stones if he won yeah and i did not so i'm gonna assume phil won because my dad would shove it in everybody's face he's ridiculous he was playing a game and he was like drinking so he's just saying whatever he wants and like he's playing a game against Ez. And like Ez makes a move like towards the end. And my dad's clearly going to beat him.

And right after the move, my dad not trying to be a dick, but like clearly it was a dick thing to say. He was like, you know what I would have done there instead of that move? And Ez was like, I'm going to fucking kill you. It was hilarious. But yeah. Well, I guess I'll give my rating of the dice my little dice emoji was my weekend yeah and then um i went golfing friday 18 holes shot a 108 not happy about it but like it started off piss poor so salvaged a little bit and then uh played nine holes with my dad on the white course and shot a 49, which is would be below 100. So, yeah, improvement.

There you go. Was the first 18 on the hard course of these course? Well, we played 18. I didn't go on Friday. 18 was here in the in Pittsburgh. So it's just like a different course. Gotcha. Gotcha.

Gotcha. Dope. Sounds like you're outside a lot yeah if you hate that for you rooks if you do you use the 18 birdie app 18 birdies my dad does but i have um i have a rangefinder true it's sick i just use it just to keep track of my scores because it tells me my handicap and shit it It's pretty cool. Anyway. Nice. I digress. They need a new term instead of handicap.

Like, it's, come on. How has that not been canceled yet? Just change it to something else. Eh. I mean. All right, Rooks. I don't know. How was your week?

It was good. So Friday, I went y'all thing as well. Shot a 96, I think. I played fucking terrible on the front two and then brought it together on the back. Played with two goofy... There's nothing worse. Like, I play with my dad,

so we'll always get paired with people. Like, it sucks getting paired with two, like, goobers. Like, the two dudes we were playing with were just so goofy and just like like they were really nice so it's fine but like they kept trying to talk to me and like i'm not sitting here being a dick but it's just like we have zero in common like there's like all the like there's so many times on the golf course where it's like you meet these people and it's like you try having conversations like I'm never going to see you again. Like why the fuck do I care about any of this shit?

Like it was just it was just anti-social rooks. Now there's just you sound like me. There's certain there's certain groups I get paired with. I'm like, God, just please shut the fuck up, man. This guy, he offered me whiskey like nine different times. I told him I told him like, dude, I was like, I'm not really big into whiskey. like it's not really my thing he's like well if you want any elixir just come to me on the next hole and then the start of the next hole he was like do you want any elixir i was like first off don't call elixir twice like don't call it that twice i didn't fucking laugh the first time

but then he just he offered to me like nine times throughout i was like god please shut the fuck up um but he was trying to drug you yeah i guess but i golfed uh i go friday and then saturday went to top golf for my brother's birthday um got fucking a little sloshy slosh i was a little uh it's just like with golf you know like you hit that line of drinks and then you line up over the ball and then the ball just starts moving around on you a little bit and it's like this is not as easy of course as it was 30 minutes ago but um

but yeah I went to Topgolf drank a little bit got the liver warmed up a little and then uh Sunday I went shopping I got some uh nice tops because I got some uh some moves that are gonna be made here. No, my emoji,

I did the yoga emoji because it was like a really calm, chill weekend. It's a calm before the storm, you know what I'm saying? Because this Thursday, there's a storm coming and it's going to be fucking litty. But yeah, it was a nice chill

weekend. Cool. Glad you have some blouses for the weekend zach apparently we're all supposed to play golf last weekend so uh how many holes you have zero um uh good bring that average down my emoji is uh the ice similar to rooks uh had a had ice up for this uh upcoming weekend so it was a big weekend of r and r clean woke up on saturday clean the apartment um it felt good nothing better than a clean apartment and i got under my weighted blanket and uh oh uh speaking of like this way to blanket i watched my uh matt you know how hbo mad to yourself i know a lot just ran through my brain right there you know how hbo max turned into

max yeah i told cory about this because i'd facetimed out him already i think but they have all of the food network shows on there now and so are they still on hulu or no no well there might be a select but like the main catalog like the entire catalog is on max now aka hbo max slash discovery and so since sports aren't really on anymore like baseball kind of it and the finals are on for both nba and uh nhl i had was kind of bored and had nothing to do on sunday during the day so i was just ripping through episodes of dinner impossible and restaurant impossible and chopped and i was just i was on in the background i was just growing it felt great, thank God it's the summer.

Cause that will force me to get outside. But if we were in the middle of the winter right now, you would not see me at all. You, a light would not be turned on in this apartment. I would order food in on the entire time. I'd have a blanket over my head and kind of crawl out, grab my food and crawl back in.

Uh, just the ultimate comfort TV. But, um, it was actually good for me. I needed the relaxation. I've been going aggressive the past few weekends. I know we're going to do the same this one.

So iced up as a, who said that ice up son Ray Lewis, or who said, who said ice up? Who's the famous NFL player? No, Barack Obama. Ice 2004.

Ice up son. Oh, Steve, Steve Smith, Steve Smith. At the end, he said, ice up son oh no it's steve steve smith steve smith at the end he said ice up son so that's what i told myself this this uh this past weekend so hence the ice cube love it cool gotta bring that average of golf holes back down uh also golfed zero holes this weekend so we're about nine holes for the week as as the average so that's good because you know golf kind of sucks guys you should stop enjoying it enjoy better things so i went to mike and katie at a party this weekend because i don't know that's what they do

like hosts they're all adult and you know um the theme was like a tea party but it was like mushroom tea party so everyone there was on like mushrooms, which was interesting. So I got sat in a corner with like four dudes. I didn't know. Cause I just like found a like comfy couch and then like people started filing in and out and I was like, I'm just not going to move. I don't know anyone here except for like Tommy, Mike and Katie, but they're like social and actually knew everyone else.

So I just sat there and like eavesdropped sash like joined in on the conversation But it's like people I didn't know very normal baby a lot a lot happened a Tommy got a hookup for ayahuasca, which we then later in the night called this guy who's in Colombia He sent us a bunch of voice messages Giving us rates for trafficking Tommy down to down there for a week. Super weird. Then you also got a hookup for mushroom dealer. Great. Heard a pregnancy announcement that wasn't supposed to be told. The dude next to me was

like talking to someone else. He's like, yeah, no one knows this yet, but like, I don't know anyone here. So like my wife's pregnant. And I was like, huh? Okay. And then like immediately went to walk up to Mike. I was like, I found out someone's pregnant. And I was like, huh, okay. And then immediately went to walk up to Mike. I was like, I found out someone's pregnant. And he's like, who? I was like, I don't know. I don't know anyone here. And he's like, okay.

Then that same group of people, one of them was in advertising or something. Tommy was asking what are basic questions. And Tommy's like, oh, so you're in advertising. Tell me about Super Bowl commercials. I just don't know. Are they ever worth it? what a easy small question the guy starts out his response with um just first of all i just want you to know i don't think but i know the earth is flat but so for super bowl commercials and then he goes into a very normal answer about super bowl commercials but like has to preface it with that at the beginning. Then halfway

through his answer, he goes, also, so I believe in human farming. And then keeps going. It doesn't have to do anything with his answer. And so I'm sitting there just like, I'm not part of the conversation, but I'm right next to him. I'm just like eavesdropping so hard at this point. And the guy who keeps saying

that, his girlfriend, every time he like says something crazy, like nudges him in like the ribs it's like stop doing that and you can tell he like does that all the time because his girlfriend's like knows he does that all the time knows exactly what bit he's going to do it's hilarious but after for sure after tommy like so after tommy gets his answer he just like leaves and he texts me he's like i do not want to have this conversation because i asked the guy I was like so flat earth huh and his girlfriend goes don't you dare

to like him and I'm like I mean I just I wanted to know because at this point I know if he was like really drunk and like joking around or not and like she was like actually mad about him bringing it up again so like he's actually really into this.

So like conversation goes on for another like 30 minutes. Somehow it comes back to like he makes like a JFK joke or something. And so like he's really he really wants to talk about it. And so I bring it back up at one point. His girlfriend's like, I don't want him to yell at you. But he does this all the time. I don't want it to happen. And he like walks away.

Tommy comes back. He's like, what? I don't i don't want it to happen and he like walks away tommy comes back he's like what i don't i don't know why tommy did this music so how does this affect your relationship between like his conspiracy there's heavy like intrusive yeah hey i don't i don't fucking know you at all but if you could just tell me the ins and outs of the turmoil of your relationship that would be fucking fantastic I mean she answered like in depth though it was interesting because I mean everyone yeah everyone at this point there's like mushroom tea passed

around they've been drinking for five hours yeah so like it was great from my perspective because I saw it all yeah but in Tommy was talking about how much he was a therapist and blah, blah, blah. So everyone kept calling him the group therapist for like that group that was sitting there. She gave some whole answer of just like, yeah, after our first date, I told him just to never bring it up again. So like, he's a great guy, but like, we just don't talk about it.

I'm like, that's not a good answer. But then Tommy leaves again. The guy comes back and I ask him again and she's like are you sure I'm like yeah I'm asking him to tell me so then he goes on a two and a half hour speech to me about his conspiracy theories

that he believes in you sat there for two and a half hours listening to some shroomed up dude talk about fucking flat earth what the fuck's wrong with you? It's way too much time. It was so interesting. I knew no one else there.

This is the best. Okay, so obviously at this point it was just me and him because his girlfriend didn't want to be there. Tommy noped out or he texted me he's not coming back. So I couldn't write down too many notes because it was just me and him and I couldn't be like, yeah, keep going and write down but i as soon as the conversation ended i

walked inside and mike was like trying to flag me down because he knew something was going on i was like hold on so i wrote down as much as i can remember so we'll run through them real quick uh i said the human farming thing of course uh did you know the moon is actually cold because you know the sun's hot the moon actually shoots cold out from it shoots cold to like counterbalance it got it it's like ac yeah yeah yeah it's like you know positive negative he talked a lot about magnetism so he just kept throwing that word out there for everything to try to make it stick didn't really help um there's some clock in prague that like shows how the world works and the stars and some he kind of veered off after talking about that i

don't know what about the one in south side the moon's all oh i should have brought that one i'd be like if you need a clock to look at um the moon is also plasma apparently there's a photo and you can see a star behind the moon and there's no way that could happen unless the moon is also plasma. Apparently there's a photo and you can see a star behind the moon. And there's no way that could happen unless the moon is hollow and not actually solid. So the moon's also plasma. The planets aren't physical. There are consciousnesses. So they are a conscious themselves. The fact that you sat there and listened to this fucking crackhead talk for two and a half hours.

Dude, if I wanted this conversation, I'd go to any fucking homeless person walking around DC right now and be like, hey, is the earth flat? And then once one says yes, this is the exact conversation that I'm going to hear. It's great. I want to leave right now. Like, I want to just log off this pod right now. I'm so checked out on this person. Yeah.

Do you think he thinks dinosaurs are real or fake oh i like this part of the game um okay i'm gonna say fake i'm gonna say real but like he still thinks like t-rexes are somewhere on the earth currently i was literally gonna say the same thing okay i think real as well okay okay i have three and then we'll give you the answers what do you think about his thoughts on if pandas are real or not fake no not enough like dinosaurs robots robots robots okay and then what about dragons real very very real dinosaurs are dragons are just dinosaurs with wings yes all right so you're pretty split but last one dragons exist 100 he was on board he gave me all the signs. Of course.

I mean, we're stupid to not think that. Have you ever seen the show Game of Thrones? Okay. The documentary Game of Thrones. He did point out, he's like, it's in all the writings and art in every continent. I was like, yeah. And then he just kept talking. Dinosaurs don't exist, though.

They're fake, obviously, planted by corporations because they're farming the humans for something. Dragons equal real, but dinosaurs not. Okay, cool. Yeah. Just checking. I knew who we were dealing with here. That's too far. Okay.

Fire breathing lizards that can fly and are ginormous real non-fire breathing lizards that can fly and are ginormous definitely that we also have fucking like bone evidence of like full fucking bone structures of these animals but dude the corporations um pandas though this one threw me a fair loop he's like like, have you ever heard of pandas? I was like, yeah. As far as discover pandas? What the fuck? I would have walked away.

That's kind of a tough pick up line, though. Go up to a girl and just say, yo, you ever heard of elephants? Yeah, they have to respond. But he's like, yo, the GMOs,mos though they didn't exist back in the 1940s i was like well okay and he just kept he's like they have how do they survive in the wild they they don't have defense mechanisms they just like put their head in the ground like there's tigers out there they're gonna eat them there's no way they would survive so you think of an ostrich i don't know and then he's like if you go on the website and you want to like try to help

and work with pandas on on the website it'll say you can't touch them though why is that because they're made in a lab uh by gmos and their immune system is so weak because we made them that you can't touch them or they're gonna die and i was like all right yeah okay videos are people touching pandas robots fake man of course it's fake there's one of my favorite tiktoks of all time that's somewhere in my likes from like three months ago is literally this person sweeping up their fucking uh like panda exhibit and the pandas are like holding on to their legs while they're walking like i i can't i'm i'm over this like this is the person where it's like i hear one of these sentences and i'm avoid i'm actively

avoiding this person for the rest of my life like i mean trust me once i got him to start talking everyone left it was just me and him on the side of the party um earth is flat obviously that one tommy was still there for a minute trying when he was talking about that and tommy chip trying to like ask like clarifying questions of like so if it's flat this and like obviously he doesn't have answers so he would get like tripped up and he would go try to explain it a different way and tommy's like hold on i'm confused what about the clock and prog this This fucking man, Tommy, dude. Stop asking questions. First off, he's like fucking, oh, can you tell me the ins and outs of your relationship? And now he's like, well, I don't necessarily agree with that, but if you could provide more reasoning, then maybe I could understand where you're coming from.

Like, shut the fuck up, Tommy. This guy's fucking insane. The flat earthers are trying to prove that the earth is flat and they prove that it's not and it's incredible with the light in the hole like the two holes and they flash it's cool it's they're like he's like yeah there should be a light right here no okay move it move it up a little bit move it it's either up or down oh i see it now uh they're like oh that's weird uh it's awkward silence yeah he was like yeah if you go to the beach in la jolla it's a clear day because where the magnetism in the in uh san diego lies it's really clear here you can see straight to la and i know on a map it's actually curved and you shouldn't be able to actually see la but i've seen it with my own eyes if you go to the beach

you can see la on a certain day. And I was like, okay, I fucking hate this guy. Are we still talking about this? I close to the end. Give me a second. Um, apparently there's Nazis in Antarctica because that's what surrounds the earth when it's flat and they have anti-gravity machines that they developed in

World War II. And that's what UFOs are. Yo, I'm close to your bachelor party. Like two more things. It's pretty good. It's going pretty good one more thing bro what are your favorite things about bachelor parties thought he ended with yo do you know lord of the rings i was like i'm back in i was like yeah he sold it is wednesday he was like every 1400 years there's

this and then like i think something happened and we got cut off and i was like that's fine that's all i needed to know we can move on but like i didn't know who this guy was so i was like when i was just trying to get information out of him because that was super entertaining but i walked back over i was like hopefully this guy's not like close friends with anybody. And it was like the boyfriend of someone's co-worker that showed up. So like they both left and then I could immediately tell everyone what happened. So it was great. They're like, yeah, we're never inviting that guy back again.

But he's the one who gave Tommy the link up for the ayahuasca trip so uh if tommy dies in the next couple weeks if by going to south america you're you've been warned and you'll be complicit as well i don't like his odds yeah probably not good sounds like natural selection to me brother i don't disagree yeah so my uh my emoji was a alien and then the like flat earth symbol. Didn't know there was a symbol. I don't know. It looks like a... There's something in there.

It's just funny to me. It's a map of the Arctic Circle. Yeah, it's that one. I've heard ridiculous conversation like this before and it's been like at like 4 at like 4am at like a post game where like three people had done have done like way too much cocaine through the night and then now it's like they're making like

these crazy outlandish assumptions you being in the center of one of those conversations like knowing you and also your lifestyle choices is hilarious like that's so fucking funny I think it's absurd that you listen to this fucking kook for two and a half hours but like i'd lose my mind it was so entertaining

one you just don't you just say yeah and you're like oh uh-huh it's crazy and then they'll just keep talking uh to the party started at 1 p.m so it was like the sun was still up at this point too so that made it even like weirder but anyways away from uh conspiracy theories and pandas you took like 30 minutes out of that i mean all we have to do is talk about our favorite fonts off microsoft word for this bachelor party right i mean that is to do is talk about our favorite fonts off Microsoft Word for this bachelor party. Right?

I mean, that is true. You did talk about bachelor fonts. Yeah, we're doing the do's or the fonts. We're doing Comic Sans. Comic Sans is the only bachelor party font. Ten times. Helvetica? Helvetica.

Come on. What's the gothic one? Old English. What's that gothic century? Times New Roman. All right. old english gothic century century times new roman all right do we want to do do's or don'ts do we know what we're doing is listing fonts right now stay on track yeah you took up now it's time to our turn to make the pod boring for 30 minutes whoa you thought that was boring the last the last 15 minutes i was i didn't think it was boring it was just i'm you're you're describing it so much that you're putting me in the room with the guy i don't want to be in the room with the fucking guy at all and you just keep putting

me back in this fucking room and i don't want to be there sorry i didn't play golf this weekend i'd rather i could have regaled you with i would rather play golf this weekend I'd rather you play golf this weekend I would rather play golf too a tale about elixirs are we doing do's and don'ts or are we doing bingo or both I don't think I know do's or don'ts because I haven't been to one I was going to say for do's and don'ts

I think I've only been to one so I don't really I've been to one. I was going to say, for do's and don'ts, I think I've only been to one. So I don't really... I've been to three this year. Jesus. All right. Well, teach us, Sensei. Give us our do's and don'ts, and then we'll do a bingo.

Do's. Hydrate. Don't. That's going to be a lot of Pedialyte, my guy. Got to hydrate. Also, do. Everyone has to vibe. You have to make an effort to vibe with the group if you're not like we're gonna know most of people there cory's gonna know everyone obviously there might be people that we don't know you gotta make an effort to you gotta make an effort to mingle with the other people there it can't be like

clicks in the bachelor party you are one squad it is one flock ducks fly together quack quack we are here and we are fearless okay good there you go i will say one along those same along those same lines like you gotta be like we're number one this is all for our bachelor. Okay. This is all for our boy, Corey J here. But like, also like, we're all doing shit together. Like, don't be the guy that's like, well, I want to go do like this. And like, I want to be like, oh, I met with someone on like Hinge. Like, just fucking Tommy.

We're all hanging fucking. No, Jesus Christ. No, I'm like, I've had like uh the one I went on and like I love all the people I went on my uh bachelor party with uh but the the best man just like he talks to every fucking girl and like

it's fine and he fucking like spits but like it was like yo like I kind of want to go here because they said they're gonna go I was like dude like we're fucking having so much fun in this bar like shut the fuck up and just hang out with us like yeah or go get a fucking go get a finger in your ass get it over with and come back or something i don't know man but like yeah let's say we're all hanging out if you want to leave go but you're not going to move the whole group oh yeah also ducks fly together is a great slogan for the weekend yeah quack quack i

love that do uh spend your life savings on touch tunes correct well that's just a normal weekend that's not that's not bachelor party specific that's that's normal yeah but it's girls just want to have fun on repeat the entire time yes yeah yeah you have the piano riff again in the start and then it comes back on again later like who played the song again there's gonna be a lot of we didn't uh we didn't start the fire and uh girls just want to have fun there's gonna be a lot of it uh another cool girls just want to have fun yeah i cannot do fucking five we didn't start the fires and i get too average spam do we want to clear a bar out is a bar too crowded if it's like too crowded and we stand outside in a line we spam the inside touch tunes with we didn't start the fire and then

that's actually really good it's big brain yo do you think do you think touch tunes has burns old uh shout out music of the dude just screaming and shouting yeah probably just keep playing that shit over and over yeah i was gonna say when you guys have used used touch tunes as much as i have you start thinking of how i can use this as a weapon how can i how can i weaponize touch tunes um this can be either a do or a don't um not helpful either it's well it's just how you phrase it uh don't let cory pay for anything or do make sure you pay for everything that Corey gets. For some reason, I thought this was common knowledge amongst bachelor party people. It was not, apparently.

I found out later that grooms I had been on were paying for stuff. That's not the goal. No. Corey, you can leave your credit card at home. Just leave it at home. I don't know. Well, he wants to gamble. He needs his credit card at home like just leave it at home uh i don't know well he wants to gamble yeah i'm gonna be i'm gonna be spending money but i'm fine with that it's all electronic it's all electronic i've planned this i've planned this i agree i'm trying to think uh i told zach uh we have to every person has to win the amount of miles that they flew to get there or traveled to get there, I should say, in gambling.

So look at how many miles you take to get there. Yeah. That's how much money you have to win. That's the rule. Nobody leaves until we're done. We can't leave. Okay. Or that's how much you have to lose.

There you go. I'm out. Sorry uh sorry plans have canceled uh i'm gonna ask for a refund unless we get a sick par like can i add one oh yeah we have sick parlay oh no dude we're 11 leg 11 leg parlay daily parlay yes there's gonna be one parlay a day one hundo p that's gonna be so gross when i'm betting like mlb on yours oh god well the thing is there's not that many games oh i guess they're like the only thing we could do is pick mlb games but imagine like if it's like the basketball game it's like we each have to pick a player to do something it's like this guy needs this many blocks because of the lack of sports right now it's gonna be all fucking props something it's like this guy needs this many blocks because of the lack of sports right now it's gonna be all fucking props like it's all gonna be fucking like jimmy butler under

fucking 22 and a half or whatever like it's all gonna be fucked up plus plus mage to come in third like they're like it's gonna be the weirdest fucking thing but if we hit one if we hit we're saying under the week if we hit one we're buying wrigley field yeah oh there's a sports book being built there i don't think it's quite open no there's a draft king sport we're gonna buy wrigley's gum but the amount that it would cost to buy wrigley's field like that much gum feel like you're adding another step but sure it's your bachelor party weekend yeah how about we buy enough wriggly gum to fill wriggly field better but what does that do now we can't buy we buy we buy just to sell it we buy all the gum we chew it and then we fill up

wriggly field with the chewed up gum yeah. So we're making a mold of the field? Yes. I'm starting to feel like I did earlier when Burn was talking about it. It's just like, I need to get out of this room. See, the gum is plasma in the Nazis. So then you cover the field with gum. You bet the under because no one will be able to move very fast because they're all sticking to the ground. Very true. Or it could be, well, yeah, I guess no one will be able to move very fast because they're all sticking to the ground. Very true.

Or it could be, well, yeah, I guess they won't be able to run around the bases. Yeah, bet the under. We got it. It's a lock. Even if you hit a homer, you still have to make it around the bases for it to count. You got to touch base.

All right, Zach, keep going. Sorry. We're good. We're good. We get through. Well, do make resis. Shout out the Danimal making resis for us for dinner at least. That was a huge move.

Good call. Also too with like your bar, like the bar selection or where you go out, like make sure the bar is like big enough. Like you got a bigger group. Make sure there's room. If you got some big boys in the room, like maybe like a hole in the wall dive bar, not the best move you want to make sure you move can uh can flow around got some good uh some some airflow going uh sunscreen do sunscreen oh yeah screen saturday's gonna be rough yeah yeah um

i'm trying to think if there's anything else that really stood out uh oh do book an early flight home uh on sunday sorry unless if you don't want to be too late i'm literally gonna be kidding i'm gonna my arms are gonna be over i'm gonna look like the end of any war movie where like the main character is getting like dragged off the battlefield like dylan and bern are just gonna have me over their fucking shoulders dragging me into the fucking airport t TSA's gonna love it. I got you. Yeah. You gotta hold yourself together for

about 45 seconds. We'll see. It'll be fine. Then you can pass out. I've gone completely obliterated through TSA and it was fine. It was actually fun. It's like a ride at that point. When I went to Vegas, I left my hotel at 4 30 because i had to

fly back super early i was hammered i walked and there's like no one in the fucking airport obviously because it's like 4 45 in the morning walked through tried to walk through the gates with like my backpack shoes and everything on and the guy was like what are you doing and i was like what's up man he's like take your bag off take your shoes oh shit dude my bad it was like they probably see all this shit in the megas airport but i was like i feel like a fucking idiot right now then you'd have like a drunk line and a sober line just for to make things run smoother over there the sober line would never leave anywhere be great all right we only have uh we have we have seven do's and one don't yeah

i feel like we need some more don'ts or we just keep the theme of the only thing you can't do is let cory pay it's a big don't you can still let me do so no that's like you have your whole life to pay for stuff c Corey are you gonna do what when I went to Ocean City last summer all these basserettes they had little like Venmo bracelets on and they'd be like this is for the bass

this is for the pride and then they like you could like screenshot and apparently they made like $2,000 in a day or some shit or just people Venmoing this chick the problem is for guys like a bachelor screenshot it and apparently they made $2,000 in a day or some shit. We're just people Venmoing this chick. The problem is for guys like a bachelor party, they're going to do the thing where they just request money from Corey.

They're just going to be like, request $50 and we're going to be down money. All we got to do is we have to have Corey at the bar facing away with his fat, juicy ass facing this way and then we say, this is our bachelorette, and then everyone's gonna be fucking...

Like, he'll make racks. I'd pay for that. What was that noise? What are they doing? They're clapping his cheeks in the bar. I did tell... I told Zach this on Saturday, because, naturally, I know he's gonna try to ice me and other people on this trip,

and I said, I will, the only way I will accept an icing is if it's a good icing. Like you can't just toss it to me and be like iced, like it has to be good. And then I'll do it. Will you accept a sloppy Joe? Sure. I mean,

can I request that when you do it, I actually might want a sloppy Joe. Like don't give it to me at eight in the morning. That's not how sloppy joe works. Breakfast joe? You know what? I'm putting that thing under the toilet seat in the middle of the night when he's going to go puke. And you're going to have to eat that thing in between.

I don't think I'm going to. If it's under the toilet, I don't think I'm going to eat it. So. Well, you have to. That's how it works. I don't know I'm going to eat it. Well, you have to. That's how it works. I don't know about that. All right, I'm adding it to the list. Do Sloppy Joe somebody.

That's about it, though. I don't have fun. That's all I got. Yeah. All right. I've been to one. I think that's a good list. That's all I got.

Yeah. I can't oh also you can only guess this okay so i guess my uh do my don't that i will say and this is directly directly in the mirror uh to myself um don't sprint and get uh too banged up too quickly because then day the last day i went into the last the bachelor party i was on the last day i was like this is all a fucking chore like i was like and what i went i went to austin i went to austin three days before the bachelor party started and hung out with two friends and we just drank for three days so then i had three more fucking days of drinking and by the last day i was like i'm gonna literally fucking die in austin texas and i'm never gonna leave like i was like i've never felt worse in my life

this might be a this might be a hot take it kind of builds off that i would say don't pre-game oh i know it's it's a great that's a great um at least it's a great idea drink like you can still do music and stuff and but like i would say plan your dinners and i think we're kind of doing this which i like is the dinners are like right before we're like okay we're eating at like five stay till seven it's like okay do we go back do we just go out go right out and then that way you're out and if you end early you end at midnight you go home right as opposed to staying out till two i'm not opposed to but i i love the idea of not drinking at the pregame i just physically don't think i can do it you know your boy loves a pregame i do too i do too i'm just

saying if you can if you can hold off it it might you long i'm gonna try my best for you I mean if we go straight from dinner out are you gonna drink before dinner? Yes I'm also gonna be like the tough part is gonna make the day much longer for Rooks cause now he's gonna be pre-gaming at 3 and then the dinner

and then we go straight out when I land in fucking O'Hare and I'm waiting for burn i'm gonna be drinking dude like but what i think what i think is nice too this is could either be a do or don't which would be like uh link up with a bachelorette party that you kind of weirdly spend the whole weekend with i think it'll actually chicago's not a you know bachelor bachelor party destination which i actually kind of like because i think it'll make it a little more unique and special. Like, it's our boys' bachelor party.

And it's more unique than going to Nashville or Vegas and then seeing everyone with the crown or the sash or whatever. Plus, I don't think guys really advertise like, it's my boys' bachelor party. Like, you can't visually see it when we walk into a bar. It'll just look like a fucking sausage fest walking into a bar. It's going to look like hell, dude. There's a lot of guys that just showed up. Lots of Hawaiian shirts, though. We'll stand out.

Not enough, though. But yeah, I'm hyped for Hawaiian shirt. That baseball game is going to be rough. It's going to be bad. Is what it's going to be. It's going to be bad. I want Corey to do the one beer and one hot dog per inning. Nine by nine by nine.

If. Yeah. If it wasn't like if I'm putting them if y'all came here and we went to like a Nats game or something, I'd be like, yeah, fuck it.

This is gonna be a throwaway day. I'm gonna fucking eat hot dogs and drink beer and throw up everywhere. But like I'm not doing in Chi town bus down. I'm not saying you. I'm saying Corey.

I just I think anyone who would do it though it would be like a waste of your day because you're just gonna feel terrible and fucking puke or feel great accomplish something we'll be frowning upon you final do and then i'll be done uh do take pictures uh i've done that only one batch like for the boys for the fellas because you want to take enough pictures to remember it and have a good time like you want to take incriminating pictures but you want to take it that's where I was going to go but you want to be like oh just

casual candids once in a while throw it out there they're just nice to have incriminating pictures this is no fucking hangover dude we're not going to fucking I don't know man go steal Mike Tyson's goddamn tiger and shit. Corey's gonna be taking pitches off the chest in the batting cages.

He's gonna be Hawaiian shirt. He's gonna open it up. He's like, crank that puppy to fast. And we're like, no, we can't. He's like, do it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're gonna get a little nervous. I'm gonna be leaning into pitches. Paul would take a walk. You walk out into the batting cage and like stand first

charge the mound charge the machine have you ever seen someone get kicked out of batting cages because i feel like the chance of that are pretty high uh for us no but yeah i mean like i mean they just kick us out and we go to another bar so we're gonna roll the dice burn yeah they have pop no i'm i mean like i mean they just kick us out and we go to another bar so we're gonna roll the dice burn yeah they have pop a shot no i'm i want to roll them they have pop a shot there too so if anyone wants that smoke we can uh take it to the pop fair enough we at least like five photos of rooks doing a super unphotogenic face in the corner if you group shot that's gonna

be difficult man like that's oh i know that's like free space on bingo dude like i don't think i've ever taken a normal picture when i've been out with the boys i think it would be fun to do bingo but like try to try to i don't know like it should be like we shouldn't know what it is until like we like compile it all together do you know what i mean like when we when we like get it together like everybody can like think of something themselves does that make any sense like usually when we're all together yeah yeah i mean i guess we could all be together i feel like if you know what's there you like strive to hit it the way so like you said it i'm thinking of like each person like thinks of something and like put it like write it down or something and

then somebody will know everything that happens because they have to compile the list but like i don't want usually when we do it for weddings it's like only the people getting married don't know what's happening but like it'd be fun if there's a few of us who are like i know one or two but like that way because and sometime in the night at the wedding we're like what do we need left which like you have the card in front of you so like good but we kind of know the whole entire wedding like what we want to try to do that's like controllable you know what i mean like if it happens it's funny if you don't know me and d will take over and we'll walk around ask everyone for two we'll compile them and then we'll make a board for everybody and then at the end we'll see who wins I like it that works fair that's fine I'm down clown it's the game within the game over under five are

yeah easy per night Zach's heart stops day two. Is that one space? The second space is we revive Zach just in case. Has a pacemaker put in on Friday, goes back out for more Red Bull on Saturday. Walk in with an IV. Fill it with more Red Bull. Slightly yellow color.

If Zach's heart gives out, all we gotta do is just pour another Red Bull vodka down his throat there's a point on my throat you can just pour it on my chest and i'll absorb it through my skin like a like a gecko pouch in his i didn't pouch in his lip yeah okay that's another thing i will be getting everybody addicted to nicotine pouches this weekend no thank you i'm out um are there any bounds on what we're allowed to do or say to claire's siblings because i feel like i already crossed that i say yeah oh my god can someone let the viewers know what this man burns try to steer away from that topic and i think you're fine

but like thoughts thoughts on fucking group chat there's numbers in there that none of us know that Corey's already mentioned some of us know Corey's already mentioned that these are his future wife's siblings this man burn starts talking about fucking condoms and shit

was it immediately after you said it or just the next day one of the brothers left the group it was a couple hours later. So it was probably after work. He was like, so you're not seeing it in my defense. I did forget there, there,

and it was a very tame comment, like for a bachelor, like who cares? I said, you talked about like Supreme branded something. I was like, we should get them Supreme branded condoms for the honeymoon. Like that's not,

but what made him leave was i did the emphasize thing you can like like or dislike it i did that and then he left like five minutes later because that was like a day or two later i like that zach was like it's on me i should have let that lingered in the chat for too long so i just gotta start jumping on those nades i know i know i mean you so thoughts you doubling down and emphasizing it like you're fucking idiots such psychopathic behavior oh my god you're such a dumbass you you tempted me into it we mentioned it here and i was just you know peer pressure got to me it's so good i don't think anybody peer pressured you no i definitely would not have can you peer pressure got to me it's so good i don't think anybody pressured you no i definitely would not have can you peer pressure yourself uh it's just called pressure

but split personality pressured me into it courage that's a peer oh wow okay deep that's deep yeah should we end on that all right so i'm gonna just start talking about all kinds of sex stuff in this group chat right one of the brothers is still here right oh i'm being courageous so we can we can't talk about your significant other, but can we talk about one of her sisters and one of our friends who was on the trip with us? I want to try to not say names. Way worse. I want to try to not say names. Way worse.

No, so much better. So much better. It's still a sister. It's still a sister. But, you know. Okay. I feel. Okay. I say get off this path, Brian. I'm going to say you say I say get off this path

Brian I'm gonna say you wanna get right off this path but I feel like you need to leave the group just for this weekend and then you can join afterwards

it's gonna be a good weekend we'll leave you with this I don't need to fall at your feet Just cause you cut me to the bone And I won't miss the way that you kissed me We were never carved in stone If I don't listen to the talk of my town Then maybe I can fool myself I'll get over you

I know I will I'll pretend my ship's not sinking And I'll tell myself I don't know This song's a banger. 90s mall banger.