It’s Wednesday My Dudes - 110: Raw Doggin' Flights and Lazy Rivers

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

The boyos have survived C Word's B Word and are back to tell the stories, but first, Bryan brings an even worse restaurant idea to the boyos which actually exists. Rate us 5 stars on Spotify! and leave a review and rate on Apple Podcasts! Links here to follow on social media! and find other places to listen!

And here we go. I know you guys think I have bad food ideas, but I came across even a worse one that's being made. Cause we've, I've talked about all my restaurant ideas and rooks always poo poos on them and says they're not going to work. And I just want your opinion on this one that's coming out. Cause it's so much worse than anything I've come up with.

So I sent you the article. Headline is, nation's only fast casual chicken salad restaurant to open in Arlington. I wanted a fast casual, like, just pasta place. A place that only does chicken salad. Come on. That's so much worse than pasta idea slash pizza drive-thru car wash so even with the car wash this is worse quick poll who likes chicken salad sandwiches me okay that's a even split it has to be sans raisins no no no raisins in there yeah i mean most things sans raisins in life but yeah i mean

i agree with you i get your point i don't know how many variations of chicken salad you can make that like deems it worth having a fast casual like i assume i'm picturing like subway and like chipotle like you just have a line you know like uh you would a pasta fast casual place thank you and like i'm struggling to understand like it's just a fuck ton of like veggies you could just throw in and like that's about like brick pick your bread like it it seems dumb like it seems like this is just subway but they're limiting the choices like it's it's just the exact same layout subway except everything is empty except for the chicken salad little portion one little bin no it's inside of the line instead of instead of one bin it's every every bin has been merged and

the whole span of the glass window is just a like metric tons of chicken salad giant vat of it um so rooks you agree this is a terrible idea please please say something that other than something i've done that's bad i'm not a chicken salad person at all i don't like like uh i don't like like a cold chicken in general and then i don't like anything like mayo based really like i don't like anything that's just like it's this item and tons of mayo so it's not my thing um i that being said this is a terrible fucking idea like this is like for reasons already stated it's there's one item there's one fucking choice that you can get that's it uh the place is called chicken salad chick it first started in 2008 in alabama after the founder was warned by the local health department to stop selling chicken salad out of her house i will and i will also say i mean it being it originating in alabama checks out um

a chicken salad restaurant is about as white as you can possibly go on a fucking restaurant like that is as white as it gets maybe like a jello restaurant what? how many are there? how many of like do they have how many

locations? that's what I can't fucking think that's what I can't fucking think. That's what I was trying to think of. I mean, guys, they have a website. I'm on their Instagram right now, and I just clicked on their. Give us the menu. Give us some highlights. Okay, so chicken salad.

Pick your chick. Choose a scoop or a sandwich. So you can either do Buffalo Barclay, Jalapeno Holly, Kicken K-Lin. Okay, they all have dumb names. I'm not going to read all these names. Basically, there's a buffalo chicken one. There's one with jalapenos in it. There's one that's a basic one.

One that's got eggs and sweet pickles. One that's got pecans. This is in Arlington, Virginia. I thought this was staying south. This is fucking close to me. You have thought this was staying south. This is funny. You have to go on location tomorrow. Hell no. Yeah.

I love you guys. I love this platform we have here. But yeah, I will not go to a chicken salad only restaurant for this platform and for content. All right, guys. I'll bring you live from downtown. I'm pleased to. We'll Uber Eats it to you, Corey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. please do well i kind of uber eats it to you cory yeah yeah we'll use all the money that

we've generated with this podcast to pay for the delivery fee which is i mean it's a lot like how much what's our revenue at now with our billions of listeners a billion sorry viewers apologies fair um i mean we got ethan to listen so he's gonna donate lots of money i know that plus one look at look at this i'm on the website and it says there's like our story tab and it has a picture of the family this came from if you were picturing any other family to make this like an idea and sell it like you're a fucking idiot because this is the first thought that i had yeah when i fucking saw a chicken salad restaurant in alabama there's so many callers in that photo like this literally looks like a fucking vineyard vines ad like this is

crazy also anytime a restaurant has an r story tab like i'm not gonna read that and be like okay i definitely have to go to your restaurant now. Like I'm not going to get restaurant sympathy. It's is your food good or not? Do I enjoy or want to try your food? You could be, all your kids could have died from cancer and I'd be like, Hey,

but is it the food good? Like yikes. Sympathy in the streets, brother, in this capitalistic system, you got to have a product that your boys got to watch. I none of this none of this sappy bullshit if you guys want on their website you can apply to i guess it's an application or like a request i don't know to be a franchise owner like it doesn't say application i'm gonna pass yeah put in rooks's uh phone number

and email so we can just keep spamming him with information. Heard you're opening an Arlington location. Big time. He is a sandwich artist. He could be a chicken salad artist next. That's the thing. They definitely just have, like, tubs of mayo-y shit. Like, just...

It's just gross to me. Like, it just... Being inside of that fucking food place makes it's giving me the heebie-jeebies right now it's like we talked about spiders that one week on this podcast like it's just you just have chills on your back right now just like crawling i don't feel great the chicken is slowly moving down your back mayo everywhere one raisin stays on your shoulder gross so we found a worse idea than anything i've come up with yeah no drive-thru the pizza one's still worse at least this one you have to go inside and i mean i pasta one whatever it is from a From a practicality standpoint, this exists in the drive-thru.

Pizza car wash does not. So I'm going to give them a plus one. Fair. Brian, this is actually a point against the fact that this restaurant existed before yours did. Minus one. I mean, sorry I didn't start selling pizza out of a window of my house as a fake drive-thru it's kind of hard to do that you know why not what's what's stopping you a road what floor are you on second i mean that's never been done before either like a second story drive-thru

is that why we all have sunroofs or like sunroofs exist if we start going down this path of a second story fucking drive-thru and why it's a decent idea or how it could be done I'm not coming

back to I'm not coming back on this podcast for like a month if you thought a first floor drive-thru was a bad idea we'll one-up you the only issue i could see is how do you pay he's like do you like throw your credit card out that's the only issue yeah i mean that's the only one i see well uh venmo like you can do online payments now so it's like maybe you get close enough it's like bluetooth activated you could be like

setting money no i got an idea i got an idea you know those let's go bring it in you know those tags they have on uh on clothes but so you can't run out and that if you run out and try to remove it ink goes everywhere so you attach one of those to the food but also on it is like a zelle code or like a venmo code where you can just pay and then once you pay and it confirms it unlocks and then you throw it away if you try to eat your food then ink goes everywhere it's not bad can we uh so i'm gonna picture it's a burger you put it in the toaster the toaster toasts the qr code onto the burger itself then you pay through that then you don't even need the little thing i guess where's the ink no because they could they

could they could just steal you the burger then you have to you have to force them to pay before they drive off with your food i mean we could just have like a moat and a bridge at the end that'll just have like a sniper in like a tower and then just if they don't if they don't pay yeah i dc based they got snipers i hate to i need to do more research before i really like throw some gas onto the fire here but i did actually look up uh pasta drive-thru and there's a place that says it exists and it's called fazoli's oh yeah it's an indiana thing what have you been is it pasta or am i just like finding the first article and like saying that there might be something no fazoles is like i do see pasta in the picture yeah but like i guess technically but like what's the difference

between that and like carrying it out from olive garden? Okay, besides the drive-thru part. It's the same thing. And in my defense, my pasta idea wasn't drive-thru. It was fast casual. Hold the fuck on here. Hold the fuck on. When we were at dinner on fucking Saturday, this came on. And I said the exact same thing Zach just said.

I said, what is the difference between drive-thru pizza and like a Little Caesar or something where you literally like order, walk up, get it, and leave? Or like get like a takeout or something. A window. And you fought me to the fucking moon and were like, oh, that way you don't have to get out of your car. And then now you're just caving in on that argument? I'm done with this shit.

I'm done with this show. I wasn't. I'm done with you shit i'm done with the show i wasn't i'm done with you i'm done i wasn't agreeing with it i was saying my idea wasn't supposed to be a drive-thru in the first place you literally i can't i we don't have it recorded but i said the exact i said the exact same thing at the restaurant and got got fought on it i said the exact same thing at the restaurant and got fought on it. I said the exact same fucking thing. We're talking about something different.

No, we're not. It's fine. I might just fly to Indiana for fazoles, though, at this point. Good breadsticks have fazoles. That was the only picture I saw. I saw one picture of pasta and pizza, and then the rest were all breadsticks. So I assume they have to be good. Yeah, confirmed.

Fusoli sounds like a fake Italian last name. It's the family that made the chicken salad restaurant, but they wanted an Italian restaurant, so they made something up to just put on the front of it. Yeah, like how Olive Garden sounds like a made-up Italianian last name too that's a whole ellis island situation they used to sound way more italian but when they immigrated and they had to change it so we could pronounce it you have a lot of information around olive garden you never heard of ellis island i've heard of ellis island yeah that's where the restaurants come through.

Play the music. God damn it, Joe. It is Wednesday, my dude. I'm gonna fuck you, Brian. Yo. Yo, how do you get milk out of a crab? Give me milk now, mommy.

Fat matches. Solve world hunger tonight. Can I get this vagina animal style? Bonnie is a wonderland. Be hunger tonight. I get this vagina animal style. Bonnie is Wonderland. Be the way. I'm sweater. Ow!

That came as an orgasm? Wah, wah, wahoo! That's like an orgy, my guy. What's up, sluts? The Olympics are a fraud. Your word is Reichstrabatism. Ew, you're gross. Anywhere close to my butthole, he is just eating right through it.

Your bottom's off? Trying to low-key penetrate you. Hey, boo-boo. I shall not. Yeah. I shall not. I shall not. Talking around just shitting himself all the time.

He's trying to have sex with a lover. Gun to the penis is what you need, brother. White Jesus. Kirby's down there just blowing. Kneecaps are not organs.

Fuck you, Ratatouille. It is Wednesday, my dude. please tell me wait i uh yeah correct okay i was like please tell me you can't hear a word saying right now can't hear a word Bird's saying right now. Can't hear you, Brian. You're dead silent. I thought this was a recording thing. Like someone was like, and I forgot to record. Oh.

It was a super long fade out. And I was like, he typically talks by now. We're back. All right. Episode 110. we're back alright episode 110 we're back from C words B word everyone's here feeling rough but we got Corey and me

we got Rooks and we got Zach boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys we're gonna avoid zach's idea of drafting boys this week because that's problematic and uh we're gonna just slowly move through this because we're low energy this week uh but yeah so all of our weekends overlapped a bit so this might be quick so don't everyone say the exact same story four times in a row

let's just go chronologically but just let's just let's let we'll let cory take the lead and we'll all just jump in where necessary i feel like oh that's actually really great it's like a bad libs like you'll be like and then and then rooks showed up and then brian showed up there all right so i'm going last yeah spoiler yeah there you go um oh this is fun all right so thursday so thursday i'm actually pretty excited it's i like new things you know um so yeah weekend started thursday uh flew uh the danimal picked me up on the way to the airport we got in uh zero hiccups on the flight uh which was fantastic sorry yeah sorry asshole uh sorry yeah raw dog the flight um it felt weird felt weird raw dog in it yeah um but i got used to it

but good though right but good yeah yeah yeah felt like there's something missing something not in the way uh-huh yeah i felt closer you know yeah and but how nature wanted it to be yeah you get it um but yeah get off the fucking plane man jesus uh but yeah so i wouldn't have done it if i didn't have like a 50 minute flight. And like, I don't know, like I have like I have games on my phone crosswords. I don't know. I was like, maybe I'll just close my eyes, whatever. It took two crosswords to get there.

Shout out to Animal. Great job. And we landed. We checked into the B&B in Chicago, which is where the bachelor party was. And we figured we'd pick a place to go for a brewery, get some food and let the other boys know since we got there first that we're just around the block. So we did that. There's really absolutely nothing special about my portion of the trip. So I'm just going to say we were there, had a few beers, and then Rooks showed up.

Yeah. Yeah. Showed up to Chi-Town, Bus-Town. Easy trip out. Very, very simple. I did bring a fucking backpack on my plane, though, because I'm not a fucking pervert. And then, yeah, met the boyos went to the pizza shop the pizza shop we ordered two pizzas they like carry them out and some dude was just filming

behind them i was like oh they have to be the owner right and if you want to see a super awkward clip of me receiving pizza um go to what is it peace pizza or something on yeah on peace chicago peace chicago it's just i wasn't ready for it at all and then i realized what was going on and i was like instead of like acting more like cheery i just put on like the most slight smile and i was like it looks great and like that's all it's just fucking awkward um but yeah just had some fucking drinks had some pizza needed to fuel up and then we went back to the crib and the pizza place was also a construction zone too forgot about that oh yeah we walked in and they were fucking like buzz sawing shit and like jack hammering i was like i don't know where like they were building a fucking wall while we were there

probably installing that drive-thru oh yeah, yeah. That's what they were doing. No. But then we went back and Zaddy showed up. That's right. Wrapped up a nice day of work at the old Granger facility and then drove over to see the boys at the Airbnb. By the way, shout out to the Danimal, man. Picking a great spot for everyone.

I gave him some guidance, but he could not have picked a better spot for us to hang out. Very safe, around a lot of places, walkable. It's a great distance from everything. But I got there. Really just, you know, oh, I did bring my Xbox. I was going to say I just kind of showed up. I brought a crucial piece. Honestly,

arguably more important than me. I brought the speaker and the Xbox. And with said xbox we downloaded chill uh we had to download it overnight because the wi-fi wasn't that strong but we were determined to win a cup at some point um and after that we waited for i think that was everyone there because by the time cody and all them and ethan were all there so dylan showed up was there. Oh, that's right. Me and Dylan showed up around the same time, I think. Did Cody meet us at the bar? Oh, no, that's right. Yeah, Cody met us at the bar.

So I guess we can get there. So we went to Lottie Dottie, her name is Lottie's, to watch the NHL game and we submitted a disgusting parlay, which would be a theme for the entire weekend. Basically, our 11th member of the, uh,

of the bachelor party was just the ever existing disgusting. It was just always like a cloud. Um, but yeah, go ahead. I'm just, you will be, you will hear that sentence.

We laid down a disgusting parlay multiple times. So just, but like buckle and be prepared because this happened more than once the stank face was prevalent in many ways yes yes so we were at lottie's and it was honestly a good time we had two different very two very different lottie's experiences so the first one was just kind of a chill we were gonna get a table, relax, order some food, some drinks. Meanwhile, our good bachelor Corey was very sauced at this point. He said he wasn't when I got there and his actions and speech patterns said something different, but that did not stop him from indulging me in ordering a monster vodka along with me. Where he went wrong was ordering the second monster vodka

and then it all tumbled down. Wait, hold on because i because my memory escapes me for some reason uh did i straight up just order a second one or did you peer pressure me into a second one was i like this is really good i want another one or were you like you know what you need a second she uh you said that she's like can i get you anything else and you gave kind of the uh and then kind of looked at me and I was like, I shrugged my shoulders and then you're like, yeah, I'll take another one. So I didn't help you say no. It was a small amount of peer pressure. Yeah. So I didn't say no.

I didn't say yes, but I probably should have said no. Fair enough. Um, from there, I don't know. We were kind of just like, we had a good time. We drank, deleted a lot of Miller Lights, a couple mixies there, and then just kind of enjoyed our walk back. And then we logged on to Chell and played some Chell. And then finally, by the end of the night, started our...

Oh, we had an electric draft, by the way. Drafted a... Well, hopefully, we'll find out. May or may not have won the cup. We'll see. But anyways, I ended up going home, going back to my own bed, but then quickly the broad guy arrived.

Not quickly. Not quickly. Quickly after that. It was like midnight at that point. Still not quickly after that. I went to bed at 3. Flashback. I was supposed to get there at noon with everyone else

my flight i was at six me and tommy uh the night before we set an alarm so me and tommy said good night and then like both walked out of our rooms again we're like so our flight's delayed we're like all right well i guess we don't have to wake up and then we woke up and it was delayed again we're like well okay i guess we didn't need to take work off and another hour later i was delayed again i was like well okay let's go to the gym. And at the gym, I got delayed again. And we got home and we're like, well, we have like six more hours. So let's sit here or something.

We're not going to go to the airport and wait. And then it was delayed again. How many times did I say that? Five? It was delayed again. Oh, wait. Okay. The last delay, we got to the airport.

We're like in line. And then it got delayed like 20 minutes just a little extra sprinkle of like not yet um so it was delayed 13 hours in total which is ridiculous but we got there also we're not close to forest fire so i am very confused because no one else's flight got delayed but whatever uh we showed up everyone was asleep it was 3 a.m we got a text from dan, yes, there's one bed in the first room on the right. We're like, well, there's just two of us. We opened Cody's door, like shined our flashlights on him.

He didn't even flinch. We're like, well, OK, that's Tommy's bed out on the couch. Went to bed. Woke up in the morning. Now we're all here. I don't know who takes over. Corey, Popcorn Corey. Well, hey sure i woke

up first oh yeah it's fair popcorn so i woke up some fucking reason and like i don't know i just woke up early i'm not some big early morning riser um but i woke up and i was like you know i like i just want to play chill like i'm awake. It's vacation. Like maybe I'll crack a beer like solo dolo on the couch a little bit. Sit down on the couch like one person comes out and sits on the couch and then two people are on the couch that burns awake. And then all of a sudden it's like 730 and everyone's awake in the fucking room with me like playing NHL, which was just a 7.30 wake up for everyone on the second day of a bachelor party. It's just kind of wild to me. But yeah.

Then we just kind of vibed out there. We had a lot of moves to make later, so we were chilling for a little. We had to get our legs back under us. Zach delivered us some donuts, which was very, very sweet of him. Breakfast guy all week. And then we went on

to, what was it, Paradise Park. And that was sick. The great contrast immediately of Paradise Park. We walk in. It's this beautiful open floor. There's like this huge there's

these two huge like booths that fit like 15 like 20 people we sit down and there's a group of bachelorettes who are like immediately like adjacent to us they're all like taking cute pictures they all have this like like nice cute glasses on and shit we walk up our bachelor cory not feeling great is a sleep borderline when we first get there and burn immediately starts talking about his fucking bidet and his asshole that was within like eight minutes of us being there and sprints over to play jenga yeah and then which leads to us just talking about like shits and assholes for like probably 20 minutes that's something like like thinking about that too is there's no not that there should

be but like you know when you see a bachelorachelorette play right like you'd be usually one girls in white they all have matching sunglasses usually the outfits are somewhat coordinated we roll in we just look like an army unit who just got done invading like a like a balkan base we're all tired bags in our eyes hats on just like probably stink like yeah we have to here's the bachelor this is our bachelor who's past the fuck out and hung over right now yeah he's like a POW we're like carrying him back it's so bad but yeah

and then Paradise Park was dope we got the bongs cool spot yeah we got the white claw bongs which I was scared I was scared for Corey's life when they first came out, because they're kind of like a V, so you can't really tell how much is in it. It's very deceptive. But then

I took the sip, and it was like two sips of a white claw, and I was like, if Corey doesn't put this shit down, I'm gonna fucking pin his arms back, and I'm gonna have someone hold his nose like a little kid getting medicine or some shit, and we're gonna dump the white claw down his fucking throat put the white claw on peanut butter and make him take it oh that's too good but yeah and then i mean anything else i mean

we played the longest game of pong in the world uh yeah jangenga food was good. Popcorn. Nachos. Tommy called our super, like, sweet, nice server a fucking NPC and didn't think anything of it. Said her shoes stunk. It's like an NPC is very much calling someone, like, boring and just kind of there. There's a special place in hell. Or, no, not special place in hell or no not special place in hell hell is not uh unlike being the bachelor when you're extremely hungover and somebody asks oh what's the occasion while you are on your deathbed and you know not in the not in the distant future is going to be, oh, we need to get shots or we need to get whatever because the waitress is obviously going to be like, you should celebrate. That was a very low point in the weekend, probably in my life.

To be fair, it was like you were in the hole for like a little, but it wasn't like you weren't too bad. Buddy, you were not me. I'm saying from outside looking in, I'm saying like you held it together great is what I'm trying to say. There are not great pictures of me from that practice one. So I don't agree. I think that's very nice of you to say but i will say at least on the inside 95 of me was focused on not vomiting from the hours of 11 in the morning until about 5 p.m so the entire time that we were at that bar uh and it took me what like until the last hour we were there the worst picture of my life

by the time we were by the time it was like an hour left that was the first time other than obviously the white claw that I sucked down in like five minutes it took me way too long to finish that thing yeah that was the first drink of the day i'm not counting the white claw because that was that was very slow but yeah anyway it was horrendous had a lot of fun had a lot of fun yeah on the inside was dying um and i'll jump in now because your boy then we went back to the b&b people rested up showered some people drank a little bit more it was kind of like that throughout the anytime i went to the b&b it was like some people are sleeping some people are getting ready some people are playing cell and still drinking and

playing music so then we got ready went to we had dinner resis at uh taco place big star big star uh Taco Place Big Star. Big Star. Oh, yeah. Whoa. And if... Hold on. Did we skip something? Am I tripping? No. No. Wait. Oh, I have our timeline all fucked up.

I've been talking. I've been talking. I've been, like, trying to remember everything. When did we do... Was Batting Cage a Saturday? Oh, fuck. It was after Big Star. No, Batting Cage was Friday night.

It was after. Wait, what? Friday night after tacos. Man, you must be. Oh, also part of the story that Rooks missed, which I feel like is important. I woke up to the crack of a beer, I'm pretty sure, at 7.30 in the morning. Yeah. So I woke up and I was like, oh, I hear people are up.

And I know Brian and Tommy got in, so I should go say hi. And then we all, like Rooks said, everybody was up at 7.30 in the morning and hanging out. And yeah, I sat my ass down on the couch at 7.30 and witnessed Rook's crack a beer. So this explains a lot why Rook's is giving us that face. Do we have any pictures from dinner? Hold the fuck on. No. From Big Star?

What was this place? Not from Big Star. This was a taco place. Remember the taco place? Family style. pictures from dinner hold the fuck on from big star what was not from big star this is a family style family style yeah oh shit okay yes no yes yes okay okay we're good i totally i totally forgot about that because i feel like we were there for like six minutes because we put our order in and then the tacos were there and then we were done i feel like we were at that place okay holy shit i just almost had a fucking heart attack where I was like, oh my God, I don't remember a full fucking meal. You blacked out at 5 p.m.

Holy shit. You probably blacked it out because of the, uh, because of the shmeet you got on your shirt. Oh my God. That was such bullshit. Or the margaritas. Yeah. Um, that, I've never been more stressed at like a great food.

Like it was a great place to eat but the second we ordered tacos they were just in front of us and we ordered like a hundred not a hundred, we ordered like probably forty tacos as a table and they were just in front of us, the second we ordered you think it, it's there

yeah, it was fucked up it was delicious though Dan ordered a second round after that for himself just like another three, and he timed it like it was fucked up it was delicious dan ordered a second round after that for himself just like another three and he timed it and it was 60 seconds when you got a suit that's crazy wild good so good but yeah pat met up with us if you remember that and then no i'm good i just completely forgot about the fucking that dinner and i was about to have a fucking heart attack pat definitely the most put together of the group uh had the blazer on looking fresh to death uh hot as shit i don't know how he was in that when we got to the like was he wasn't he on the he was on the not shady either. Yeah. He was also in the sun.

Tough. Tough look. Looked great. What is it? Beauty is pain. Pain is beauty. Whatever. Either one.

You get it. We went then after that, we didn't we Uber to the batting cages to Wrigleyville. Right. And I'll let Zach take it away because I feel like batting cages is your speed. Yeah, so shout-out Sluggers. We went there. We actually went there. I thought it was going to be a chill weekend.

Shout-out Den Company, who turned out to be playing there. I had no idea. But luckily got there when they were already in. Everyone was already in Wrigley Field. But yeah, we got to Sluggers. It was pretty empty, and so we had kind of the run of the cages and games ourselves, and it was a lot of fun. A lot of fun a lot of

people got to take some hacks in there it was uh helmets were worn helmets were not worn balls were hit off of shins played some papa shot to some guitar hero some ski ball just had a real good like throwback to a third grade birthday party kind of got the competitive juices flowing it was a it was a good overall like kind of pre-game to the to the rest of the night, I'd say. Yeah, it was great. Had another disgusting parlay picked out prior, of course. That shit was gone quick, too, I feel like. Gone quick. Sorry.

I should look back. I'll wait until somebody else keeps talking further for the story, and I'll tell you what one was the worst of the parlays, because it's hard to choose. I can tell you what my worst one was. The one where I picked eight fights and got all of them wrong, which is very hard to do.

It's a 50-50 shot. Did you actually get all of them wrong? Not one? I got one right out of seven. There you go, kid. Jesus. It's hard to do, you know? It's impressive.

No one put their chest in front of a ball at batting cages i was very sad about that uh plenty of bunts laid down though so i'm glad we have good fundamentals uh i was the one who had a ball hit my foot that hurt oh no still hurts no me too oh you did too my first my first did my first at bat i had had I'm very intoxicated at this point And it was 60 miles per hour I haven't swung a baseball bat in like 6 years That shit looked like Randy Johnson Throwing like 101

The first time I was in there I was fighting for my fucking life I think it was like 9 8 straight strikes And then I hit one off of my fucking shin and then I made contact with the last one and that was my first fucking round I mean you were like 12 hours

into drinking at that point so like you did pretty good to be fair I went over after that I went over to the fucking like slow bitch softball and like got the timing back a little and then I went over the same 60 mile per hour one with Cody later and I was probably

batting 500, which is fine. I was a Hall of Famer. It was... With where my brain was at at that point physically, it was 500 is about as good as I was going to do. Low key, that was

one of our better ones, was the first parlay it just felt worse because it was dead early fair what do we go on it one two three four one two three four five six seven eight nine four for nine didn't we get 50 yeah that's pretty bad i mean it's the stats it's one of our better ones our best one was definitely a baseball but yeah our worst one was when we lost that parlay for the basketball game and loaded up a second one where we went one of seven i remember the second one was tough the second one was not good well didn't Didn't Jokic roll his ankle and then we immediately were like, oh, do another one.

Do another one. Alright, fade all of the nuggets and then they came back and won and were great. Yeah, because Jokic came in two plays later and was like, just kidding guys, I'm back. Fire. From there, we god some rooftop bar no clue what

the name is popcorn zach oh popcorn he's drinking old crow okay um popcorn brian we have a good video of tommy saying the C word from there. That's all I remember. That dinner was, that bar was like my, like, that was my CPR. Like I was pooping, like after taking some cuts and having some more drinks, like my body was like,

bitch, sit down and go to bed right now. And I sat there, we started off the, I think it was like the second sip of water I took. It went down like the wrong pipe. And then I started coughing like disgustingly. And then like the puke that I didn't know was there.

It was just like starting to reach up a little. And I was like, oh, God, breathe, breathe, breathe. And then I got a case of D and everything was fine. But man, we were Dylan and Dylan said the next day he was like, yeah, you were kind of scaring me. I think like it was just it was very touch and go for a good 45 minutes at that place. Loki, the other thing I found out, the only other memory of Old Crow, the boys gassed me up with a bucket hat, and now I need to go buy a bucket hat. Yeah.

So I appreciate you all for many reasons, but that that definitely up there on the weekend i can't believe we haven't mentioned tommy's bucket hat yet i feel like that was the like 10th member of our group yeah what uh 12th right after the disgusting parlays i was saving the bucket hat for when we were on the fucking dance floor okay well from the rooftop we spied a lazy river um and we just had to go into it so we roamed across the street the bamboo club the beats the sounds were beckoning us across the street they were i mean it is funny because like knowing all of us we all like that and like so while we were at old crow which overlooks bamboo bar, you can see like each

one of us, like as the night went on a little like later and it got darker and the music started like feeling like it got louder. We were like, I would look over and you'd start to like see people be like, okay. I mean, like what's, and then people are like, what's the next move? Like everyone, like I was so i saw the neon lights sold i was already in i was like this place looks sweet and then like you said the beats started picking up and i was like i need to go there i was like i'm not even gonna ask if people go somewhere else i'm gonna keep putting this bar's fucking name into the mix thank god we did

not have a reservation thank god yeah i was waiting for someone to kick us out of our table i kept on looking around no server was coming up to us and i thought the first server that was gonna come up with like what are you guys doing sitting here this is reserved and i was like but that was definitely not the case the bouncer was so sketchy at the very beginning he was like oh just go straight to the bar we're like yeah where else we know we didn't have a reservation like we just said to you yes and then and then we proceeded to not go straight to the bar no which is really funny the bar had stools next to it and people were eating food you can't go to the bar it was a stone's throw away you know yeah yeah but um the absolute electric factory that this group of boyos put on at

fucking at fucking bamboo club or whatever the fuck dude we it was like such a nice us sitting at the big 10 person table or whatever was such a nice turning point because then like the music was flowing and all the boys were singing we were all ready to fucking go the second they started opening up the dance floor and moving one table i think zach peered and zach was like oh dance floor dance floor dance floor and we just all fucking left whatever the fuck was on the table. I should have left my fucking phone there or some shit. I was so ready

to fucking go. We got the fuck up and took that dance floor over immediately. Somebody call 911. It was an absolute electric factory. I started out 10 dicks on the dance floor and that's all it stayed for us the entire night

um because so good we had our own circle where we were just fucking getting after it there were multiple groups of people who were trying to get involved who we pretty much like gave the finger to like we were stiff we were stiff arming people we were just like get the fuck out it's it's boys weekend people wanted any little bit of our electricity and we were holding on to that shit like the monstars and fucking space jam dude we were like get the fuck away from me i took this from charles barkley it's ours like it was crazy it was such a great fucking it was a great fucking vibe i'll tell you that it was the best like i i've i feel like we were talking because it was like

rick said at old crow it was getting a little like you know a little lull right we just were slugging in the cages you know it's like 10 o'clock or like nine o'clock and i think what we were saying was like okay like we're gonna stay till like they open up the dance floor then we'll probably like dance for a bit and then we'll go back and like chill or whatever like we're gonna stay till like they open up the dance floor then we'll probably like dance for a bit and then we'll go back and like chill or whatever like we're gonna dance for like an hour or whatever and then we what what no i'm just shaking my head at us like we said it was gonna be like oh we'll dance really quick yeah i thought you were saying no we were not saying that i was like oh um yeah we're like it will go we'll see like we'll have a good time and then we'll go back and it was just like the minute our our feet touched that dance floor we were there until what like it was like 10 o'clock to like 1 30 and like nobody left

like well yeah people were walking around but yeah i remember the timeline because we got there at nine they're like well probably it was either nine or I think we got there at, was it nine or 10? I think we got there at 10 and they said the second floor was going to open at 11 at 11. And then it didn't open at 11. And then I think they either got enough complaints or they were like, this crowd's getting anxious. We need to open up the dance floor stat.

And then, uh, and then by like 10 or by like 11, 10, 11, 15, it was open. And yeah, we stayed there till like one we stayed there for a good it felt longer like it was probably like two hours it was felt absurd yeah all the songs that do were playing yes did everyone find who the dj was was the name just like jeff dan like now dan uh i was about to say email but like what the who the fuck am i um dan uh dm the bars insta and they hadn't responded as of yesterday but to be fair like this bar like changed like rebranded and is a different bar so like yeah a big piece

of the story for saturday was like we woke up dan looked it up bar. So like a big piece of the story for Saturday was like, we woke up, Dan looked it up and he was like, it says it doesn't open until like Tuesday. And we were like, was it all a fever dream? Like, did we all imagine the best DJ of our lives?

Like, I don't even care if there was a, like a talent scout for Vegas nightclub. He would have had a residency tomorrow. Insane. That guy's fucking five-star, getting paid under the table type recruit. All of us leaving the bar, we had to wrap around him. And we all just turned and bowed to him and left.

Rook said, I love you. left. Rook said I love you. Yeah I told him I love you. The show he put on fantastic. Oh yeah but then also the Tommy Bucket Hat relation to this is Tommy was doing his classic Tommy move where he's just bouncing around talking to everybody there would be like

Tommy was wearing this like bucket hat covered in Pokemon all of a sudden there would be somebody right behind our group wearing that super specific bucket hat and i would like be like why the fuck is that person wearing that and then like over their fucking shoulder like all of a sudden tommy would creep out like fucking horror movie-esque and just be like smiling talking to them and shit i was like oh jesus christ how many people do you think wore that fucking hat at that bar yeah it was a lot it was a lot every i saw Christ. How many people do you think wore that fucking hat at that bar? Yeah, it was a lot.

It was a lot. I saw so many different fucking people wearing that goddamn bucket hat. Every person that wanted to get into the dance circle, which was pretty much everybody. That was our audition. That was rite of passage. And everyone failed. I know we're going long on this, but I feel like it's warranted. And the last thing was just i think i started

to say but everyone was just like when the dj would play the next song just keep saying he can't keep getting away with this and just yelling just just screaming being like no not again well like he i don't even yeah we can we can move on i'm just i'm still blown away. 10 out of 10. It was a great fucking night. We could have stayed in the B&B, not left the entire weekend and gone to that two hour segment of our weekend and I think we would have all been like, that was fantastic.

What a weekend. Bamboo Club. Saturday? Saturday? Pop who's who's up i don't know popcorn brian uh i was asleep on the couch and we were like hey let's not wake up at 7 30 because that's stupid uh so everyone proceeded to wake up at 8 30 because that's so much different um i'm running on four hours of sleep and then like six hours of sleep at that point uh so i'm still very tired but we had a slower morning it was better zach again brought over breakfast which grateful for uh people made eggs and bacon and i just sat on the couch and people

fed me i'm looking at i'm looking at rooks right now rooks made breakfast hey all you people made it dylan put fucking bacon on the baking sheet and then kept being like, hey, can you check on that? And I was like, fucker, I'm making eggs for everyone. They were good, too. They were good. Everyone has their role. The bacon? So crispy. Good job. That's not even my specialty.

I don't like crispy bacon. I did that for y'all. Agreed on the bacon. I like it chewy. Preach. Then what time did we go? Somewhere else. We put on Lord of the Rings in the morning while the boys got ready. Also had to do this.

And we Ubered to the baseball game. Oh, I iced everyone first. Historically. Oh my God. That was the dumbest fucking icing. This piece of fucking shit. This motherfucker puts ices out. One ice is in my bag.

I got it. Okay, boo-hoo. Also, when I get my ice, two other people get their ice at the exact same time. Literally, you heard three oh fucks immediately. Because all of us right before that, right before that we're the ones hanging on the couch and like haha zach runs in oh he disappears i wonder where he went because everybody else was showering at the time and then they those guys all come out and we were like okay like rooks and i were like oh we're gonna go shower or whatever and so we went to go in our rooms and

cody like went to go in his room whatever and you all you heard is rooks start off it was rooks than me and cody was just fuck fuck fuck like all from different pieces and then so i do the ice whatever i go take my shower you know what fine it's like i had i had beers with breakfast anyway i was like fine i'm feeling fine then come back out we were doing big time fruit snacks for the road. Like everyone was pocketing fruit snacks whenever we left the crib. Yeah. Knowing that this fucking piece of shit put a Smirnoff ice in the box. And I'm in the midst of telling Zach how much I hate ices, how not fun the other ice was. While I'm reaching into this fucking box and i immediately feel a bottle and i

was the the absolute like air that left my lungs and just the how defeated i felt top five lowest moments of my life i collapsed on the floor from laughing so hard because i saw it happen in front of me it's like i mean it's almost like watching a car crash like you can't look away and i was just like this is gonna happen it's gonna happen right here in front of me. It's like, I mean, it's almost like watching a car crash. Like you can't look away. And I was just like, this is going to happen. It's going to happen right here in front of me. I can't believe it. It's fucking awful. But yeah, then sorry for the White Sox.

Shout out to White Sox. Hawaiian shirt day, baby. Shout out sunscreen. Hawaiian shirt. Shout out our big shirt sun protectors. I was telling Karina about our weekend. I was like, I was telling karina about our weekend i was like i was telling her like about the baseball game and i had to break it and i'm gonna do the same thing now you got to break the story off and say we had a big like close to 30 year old bachelor party

where it was hey we need sunscreen we need tums we need advil we have pedialyte like let's go boys the holy train kept rolling though um Pedialyte. Like, let's go, boys. The Holy Trinity. Train kept rolling, though. We almost hit our parlay. We were kind of close. Kind of close, yeah. I mean, that was the second closest, and we were like 6 of 10.

We were 0 for 10 on the parlay until the ninth inning. Electric inning. No, two things hit early. Or no, one and a half because zach had the two hits so zach's guy had one hit early and then someone else hadn't hit early and then radio silence until the eighth fucking inning and then like four things hit in a row wait also because obviously you go to a baseball game you're gonna bet on high square like you want points points points points and arguably like the best defensive baseball game i've ever seen in my life we saw

two diving catches and two or three absurd short stop uh or third baseman stops and like double plays and like turning it was insane an absolute masterclass for the defensive side of baseball. We had over eight and a half points. Almost got there. It was tough. Jake Berger. Jake Berger. Hit the freaking ball.

I love T7, but man, he let us down big time. Dan, I can't remember if Dan was joking, but he said he didn't play the next game ta7 he didn't play on sunday like he sat i don't know if it's true but that's what dan told me in the airport which is hilarious perfect anyway baseball game uh they were ubered back home oh people almost died on the way to the game but i don't know that story as much yeah our uber within three minutes of being on the road almost ran over someone walking their dog across the crosswalk i was gonna say cock walk jesus settled down almost killed someone within three minutes of us being in the car.

Proceeded to cut off like nine different people on the fucking highway on the way. It was awful. Yeah. Ubered back. We had dinner. Again, chilled. Lord of the Rings. Insert. Sleep. Rest. Yeah, whatever.

We watched the other guys at some point. That was Saturday night. Friday. Yeah. whatever um watch the other guys at some point that's thrown in there that was saturday no that was that was friday night because friday oh yeah uh then we had uh bob like my dinner was bomb i was like very good insulation of mashed potatoes not a mistake but it did take away from me having some mac and cheese, but I heard that that was not the best part of the meal. Anyway, bomb dinner. Perch? Perch.

Perch Kitchen Tap. Nice. Then we went back to, if it ain't broke, don't fix it, Lotties. I think we were all pretty tired. Hindsight, I probably wouldn't have had us made the walk. I didn't think it was going to be that crowded. And it was just weird because I don't go to that bar. I go to that bar enough, but not a ton to know the flow patterns of the bar.

And there were times where it was packed. You couldn't move. And then it would clear out for a little bit. And then it would be packed. And then it would clear out. And there was just really no rhyme or reason. I think everyone was kind of... I think we still had fun watching the game. Had a little bit of fun it would be packed and then it would clear out and there's just a really no rhyme or reason i think everyone was kind of and we still i think we still had fun like watching the game had a little bit of fun there talking about the boys and boys and then

but yeah i think we were all just kind of ready to to call it and so it was a good little nightcap but part of me thought i was being pranked and there were paid actors because you guys always call me a dad and there were a lot of dads so many the amount of buttoned down shirts i saw like tucked into jeans with like sneakers or like loafers on i was like where the fuck are we right now dude and it's like summer like it's not like yeah it's peak college time for there to be like a sorority event with dads. Yeah. Yeah. It was packed in there. We were watching a freaking like a 12-0 college baseball game

at the end. Riveting. Which we should have put a parlay on, but we did not. We were all tired when we got there for sure, running on fumes. Burn was checked out.

We walked and set up and Burn was just fucking... I could just see it. Burn was checked out. We walked and set up and burn was just fucking. I could just see it. Burn was. It's the combination of tired, hot, sticky, late at night.

It's like you're not going to win with any of those. Like you're not. On the way there, you guys are also like, so we're going to go this place we went to last time. It's real chill.

Just going to watch some sports, hang out with the boys, get there. Can't move. Fully packed. It's surprising. Can't watch sports sports can't hear a thing i thought we were there early this is the i thought we were there everything you said i was going to be it was not it was not it was a tough sell yeah but hey then we left and we went home to finish the journey yeah and the boys laced them up and we battled and battled and battled.

And we ended up with a fucking cup for the boys. Brian, please. But you. Well, hey. To be fair, advanced pro running straight fives and then three of the people being fucked up. It is difficult like that is not fucking easy um i request that i mean we want a cup you need to post that on the insta page so the people okay yeah thank you do that um oh i had something else with this and now i forgot oh no i wanted to ask because we it was game seven and like did anyone

change the gate a slider on the last game because we won five to nothing and we did not win one game up all weekend up until that's all we needed boys but also there's one detail about this sailing cup final that i want to mention so um tommy stayed at the bar because his friend was coming to meet up with him and then um he brought two girls back to the airbnb literally they sit in the kitchen none of us say hi zach goes up and introduces like says hi or whatever we all don't stop playing nhl and we're still just screaming at the fucking television the entire time they were there like literally the the whole fucking time there's one point where tommy comes and sits down and is watching us play nhl and they're still in the fucking kitchen it was just it was we were all the best part is we're

all super focused and during the game i keep hearing giggles here and there and it's like we all just kept being like wait why are there two fucking girls in here this is hilarious you guys were giggling what do you mean it was just like it was just no i'm saying it was just funny because like no one was mentioning no one was saying out loud like this is fucking ridiculous but it was just like and like looking over to the right and then looking back at the screen well you kept forgetting they're there because tommy was with us so we thought they left and then you'd hear them talk in between periods and you'd be confused and i like i mentioned it to core i was like so why are they here and court and tommy's not hanging out with them and corey's like everyone else has

already asked me that individually so you're the last one to bring it up i was i was crying i was crying well also is i feel like it's in some movie but it was hilarious where it's just like they show up and tommy's like oh these are my friends like so and so so and so these are like and then he went through and like was like oh you know brian corey whatever but like all of us were already watching the game so it was like all of our response was just like kept watching dude it was like uh it was like a little bit like right before they left they had been there for a while at this point i went in the kitchen to grab a water and they were like oh hi i'm blah blah nice to meet you i was like cool and then they walked into the other room because i think we were going into the third period i was just like

i don't have time for this shit right now boys weekend can't talk it was so fun just them being there for this and we're all screaming and yelling and shit. It was just great. Almost witness history. I know. They just waited it out, you know? After we lost three games in a row and had to sim, I think they lost confidence in us. Yeah, they sold their season tickets after that. But yeah.

And then it was, well, guess rooks popcorn rooks because you're the first one out so before that brian i don't know how you slept on that couch because i slept over that night um dude i slept on my couch shirtless i was peeling myself off that couch every time i moved because it was that fake pleather and so just like so don't sleep shirtless but i run hot though that's ridiculous that's hot well you should have slept i gave you the answer okay good to know brian or rose how was your wake up going um yeah so we after winning the cup we went to bed at what it was like 1 30 or 2 or something like that yeah i had to like i wanted to get all my shit together i wanted to shower

and stuff so i could like wake up And leave I had an alarm set for 4.30 I probably laid down at 2.30 Got like two hours of sleep Felt fucking terrible and then I got my Uber Felt fine in the Uber but like You know you just have that little thing sitting in ya

In your gut and you're like Yeah all day Friday I'm sitting there and I'm just like Oh this is not good. But I was like, it's going to be fine because there's going to be nobody at the airport. Right. Because it's five o'clock in the morning. Wrong.

So fucking wrong. Dead wrong. It was fucking packed. The line. I feel like I was I felt like I was going to like a new ride at Disney World or something. The line literally wrapped a hundred fucking times to get through security. It was horrible. What airport should you go to i went to o'hare it was so fucking packed but so i'm in line and then i'm now i'm like standing there and all i'm doing the only thing running through my head

right now is like my like it's just me and my thoughts and it's like oh no i'm gonna throw up oh no i might have to shit oh god i'm not and then two it's like crunching time my flight and i'm like oh my god maybe like do i have time to get to my gate even if i shit and throw up and it's like all these thoughts are running through my head and i'm like calculating it all and it's just like and the line's huge but luckily we made it through without any any accidents from either end ran to the bathroom got it done got on my flight went home felt fucking horrible but it was all worth it because we got a cup yeah we did for the cup and the fact you got home at like 8 a.m so yeah it was really nice getting home i got home at nine and just like slept until one i got

back mendy had to come get me i was like you take hindi out he's like yeah go to bed what a good guy uh and that well i guess after that would be zach zach woke up yeah woke up tried to clean up a little bit then drove home and you know like when you're too so tired, your body just shuts down. Your body's like, we're going to bed. And I'm like, okay. I just, I hit like the reset button on my body. I almost missed my Costco delivery. I like woke up just in time for the guy to be like.

Oh my God. How did we forget this? We need to rewind. So Saturday night while we're playing NHL. Oh yeah, wait, what theL, Zach's on the couch. What was the first food item that you said you were going to order? Because it was not what you ended up getting. It was baby back ribs, right?

No, no, no. Ribs is what he said he ordered. But what was before that? Was it like seafood? I think it was salmon or something. It was something seafood. Yeah, it was salmon. It was a smoked salmon.

Stuffed salmon. Yeah. This man, we. Yeah, it was salmon. It was a smoked salmon. Stuffed salmon. Yeah. This man, we're sitting here playing a game. He's talking about ordering salmon for the morning so that way he can eat it in the morning. And then he's like, no, no, no. I'm going to settle on ribs from Costco. So he plays, he plays your order at like one in the morning. Could you imagine the person working there and seeing in the morning, I have an order

to make rib or is it in the morning? Did you say the smoke of overnight? What's the Costco process? Like what even happened? You got to plan delivery time. Your Instacart shopper comes. Is it between a time range of 11 to one? So I just got to be ready and prepared.

Got some Celsius, got some Propel. I got three frozen sausage pizzas, ate two of them yesterday. I actually didn't end up ordering the ribs. I passed on the ribs and the salmon. And ate some cereal too. I felt terrible. Like, it was awful. Yeah.

Of course. You should have stuck with ribs. I should have. Should have. It felt great. It was always the ribs. Yeah. you should stuck with ribs i should have should have felt great it's always the ribs uh yeah and then where he left after that yeah all day or no i left yeah you left you left i left like eight with dylan whenever flew to vegas i had a 12 hour late or 10 hour layover yeah did you play any slots i really wanted to but

i was like i don't know how you cash out and i don't want to like have to like come back or like take an uber to a casino to like sick if you like if you almost missed your second flight because you won millions of dollars i mean we're, you miss it at that point. That's fine. Yeah. Yeah. I just wanted to win enough money to like buy a flight. That was sooner. That was going to be the goal. Uh, I mean, I, I placed at least three myself and I got one out of my like 14 bets.

Right. So, uh, but yeah, I got better like midnight here, so not too bad. And then, uh, were you last, last out with Dan? Yeah. We, we closed up shop midnight here, so not too bad. And then were you last out with Dan? Yeah, we closed up shop. Place looked great, pristine. The B&B host would have us back again, so that's great. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we just went to the airport, meet Tommy, him.

Ethan got on the L to go back to O'Hare because we were midway. We got there. We needed food, so we stopped at the – what the hell is the pizza place in the middle of the terminal? Home and Inn? Sparrow. Anyway, yeah, that one. We got there. We were like, let's have a mimosa.

Why not? A little send-off. So we did that. And the person was like – she said a whole lot. She was like, since the three of you are getting one, you might as well get a bottle. So like by the end of it, we tech, we did get bottles. Um, and hilarious Tommy. Yeah.

On the way out at the airport. Tommy was like, Tommy was like, wanted to get a picture of it to like send to the group and be like, we finally got it. And like the way that he asked, he was like, cause she made the drinks and it was just like enough for a double for each of us. So the bottle was gone.

Like it's like, it's not like we can have more of it. Like it's all poured out and the bottles, like she had it like in the recycling or whatever. And he was like, can I like, he said, can I see the bottle?

Meaning like, meaning like he wanted to see what the, like. And he was like, can I like, he said, can I see the bottle? Meaning like, meaning like he wanted to see what the, like she took it as like, I want to see what the champagne I had to drink was like, as if he's like a connoisseur or something. So she like pulled it out, like shows him like from a distance. And the confusion on Tommy's face was so good.

Cause he was like, he like reached his hand out and like pulled it back. Like, the confusion on Tommy's face was so good. Cause he was like, he like reached his hand out and like pulled it back. Like it was, it was so funny. And then me and Dan were like, I, and she's not getting what you're saying. And it's okay,

man. Like we don't need the picture. The guys, the guys will believe us that we got a bottle like, and then, yeah, then we got home and that was the end of the night end of the weekend so uh thank you boys for a fucking ridiculous weekend on so many levels uh lots of fun would

do again can't wait for the next bachelor party um and we'll have lots of tums so many times see you next week. I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud Well, my girl's in the next room Sometimes I wish she was you I guess we never really knew, God It's really good to hear your voice Saying my name

It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel Hearing those words It makes me weak Let it go Never wanna say goodnight But now you make it hard to be faithful. With the lips of an angel.