It’s Wednesday My Dudes - 112: The Pepsi Lounge

Episode Date: July 12, 2023

Worst places to eat cake, and Pepsi ketchup.... thats it.Rate us 5 stars on Spotify! and leave a review and rate on Apple Podcasts!Links here to follow on social media! and find other places to listen!

And here we go. Were any of you on July 5th at Chase Field, Yankee Stadium, Target Field, or Co-America Park? No. You mean Comerica? Wait, hold on, hold on. Sorry, Comerica? Yeah, not Co-America Park. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

I was trying to send this link at the same time. It's hard to read and process things. That's close. There's a little extra A. It's trying to mean the same thing. There's some new concessions that they only put out on July 5th. And there's a reason they only put out for one day, because I don't think it's going to be very popular. Nope.

No. No. Uh-uh. Nope. There's a new condiment coming out which sounds so delicious i don't know why you'd want to combine these together um did anyone not read the article yet they won't make a guess what the condiment is i guess i should have waited to send it kolachev so cola and ketchup pepsi specifically created a ketchup cola flavored ketchup i don't even like what's the flavor of cola like cola uh yeah man i don't know just got

all i'm picturing is like it has pop rocks in it and it's like that's what we're gonna do it's like fizzy ketchup fizzy ketchup sounds fucking terrible that sounds better than cola chup it looks like barbecue sauce i mean obviously it's not gonna taste the same as barbecue sauce but like that's just what it looks like to me i mean ketchup's already sweet so you're just making it more sweet essentially yeah and brown and bubbly i think if it was actually carbonated, that would be the grossest part. Just like the little bits. You see it fizz after you put it on your hot dog? It'd be pretty sick.

So, if you could get the ketchup bottle, can you do like a champagne spray with it? That'd be sick. Yeah, we're back on board. Well, no. It's not carbonated, is it? I have no clue. i didn't read the article i just i looked at what it was and i just put my phone down and said no five times

dude i have a soft spot for the concessions at the baseball game when they're like next to the concession stand and it's the little like row of relish little row of onions a couple of squeeze bottles of mustard it's usually right by the bathroom which adds to the charm a little bit but i i always appreciate the little condiment stand right there so throw some cola cola chip on there why not do you think they're gonna make a rival brand for coke and it's the coach up cut coke just put coke should just put like lines of coke to compete with like do you want to blow on your hot dog we like to party if you if you read the article further down it says pepsi previously teamed with

and it says cia consulting but i didn't like i read it quickly and i thought it just said pepsi teamed with the cia and i was like, this is a wild combination to have. Yeah, like what are we definitely not having now if the CIA is involved? Don't understand it. Big Pepsi is coming for our condiments. See, this is where I feel like it's the wrong beverage to make in a ketchup.

You got to do like Bloody Mary ketchup would be way better. Yeah, vodka infused. Yeah, that'd be way better. Okay. Yeah, I know what I'm talking about. So then, what about, like, what can we do for mustard? Is there a mustard-based drink? Is there a mustard-based

drink, Burn? That's tough. Look, we're stretching the limits of our imagination martini martinis are already gross it's made of like oh it's with olives and shit whoa not man let's not let's not let's not a nice straight uh martinis here castrate i said castrate but i kind of like a straight i don't know i'm thinking a nice mellow yellow mustard.

There we go. It's the only drink I can think of that is slightly related to the color yellow. That's where my brain went. Like a Tampico pineapple, maybe? You guys ever had Tampico? On the hot dog? Or a Jorritos?

I think you lost us. No, do you guys not have jarritos like when you go to all right never mind go to a go to a stroke i'm not go to a mexican restaurant one time and order a mandarin jarritos oh that's the glass the glass bottle fucking uncultured pieces of shit i mean look is the j pronounced or is it it is in my world i kept hearing mandarin doritos i was like i don't know what the fuck i don't i was like i don't think that's what you mean but yeah the cia is putting it out there it is big uh durios fans over there um we're gonna check film on if you said doritos or not because i think you did say doritos but we can move on also i found a...

Sorry, last thing. I'm reading the article for the first time now. I love how in Yankee Stadium you can get it, but the Pepsi lounge ticket is required. You can't... Not a normie can get the fucking cola ketchup. You need the Pepsi lounge ticket. People fucking IDing you at the fucking

cola ketchup stand. The CIA is involved, guys. That's why. They're trying to tell us. I mean, are they trying to take out everybody who drinks cola chip, or are they trying to recruit everyone who drinks

cola chip? Is it like a torture method? I think that anyone that would actively have that is probably a terrorist so i think it actually makes sense that the cia is like guys we have a sick promotion we found out a way to get rid of all of them and they love baseball i guess i think i think what's going on here is the cia like this is like obviously like radioactive waste that they're creating hot dogs

They're trying to create like mutants and stuff They're trying to create their own x-men and they have to track every person that watches that like Goes and eats it and then they have to see how it pans out for him I think that's what they want. They only want the mutants that can afford the Pepsi Okay, you have to be able to support your own uh like hospital bills while you're going through mutation all right you gotta have health insurance yeah everybody's free health care here come on everybody's just like sweating off their new powers that they're gathering like in the pepsi lounge i mean i think we might take a

podcast trip to this pepsi lounge now you walk into pepsi you walk into the pepsi lounge it's literally just those like tanks from the movies where everyone's like standing in it clear and they have like all these things hooked up to them different different types of pepsi unlocks different mutant genes like the cherry pepsi does one the caffeine free oh do you see so like you know the machine where you can pick like 10 000 different combinations of Pepsi? The Coke Freestyle machine. Say it with your chest.

Give it respect. I just didn't know the name. Sorry, you're a Coke fanboy. Big Coke right now. Are you also creating your own brand of mutants that are going to fight our Pepsi? Welcome to the Coke Lounge. It's completely different. The Coke Lounge.

That already exists. probably a lot of places not branded i bet we'll get the fbi involved i don't think they lead with states maybe i've been watching narcos so like maybe in columbia uh 20 30 years ago but probably not anymore maybe all right you guys out of pepsi ideas should we start i'm literally just my brain is just going to this fucking like horror movie-esque room in yankee stadium that's just like full of people like chained up going through mutations like that's where my brain is right now. Fucking Babe Ruth's lifeless corpse is popping up and down inside some Pepsi Zero.

Derek Jeter's a spokesperson and he's just like all of a sudden more aggressively average at baseball. What? No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding, Yankee folk. Is this why Sammy Sosa became very very pale skinned he just

had too much Pepsi going through his bloodstream is that what did it they have it at Wrigley I don't know Co-America Stadium and nowhere else Co-America it made sense in my head I found

a list of six mustard cocktail recipes to try so it does exist just what do any of them sound even remotely good like the alcohol which what type of spirit are they using hope it's like ever clear rum and mango juice nope pass next a fresh and original cocktail made with rum fruit juice mustard and vinegar are you just buying like french's yellow ass mustard and giving it two squirts in the fucking shaker have you ever seen like the like mustard that you scoop out with like a spoon and stuff that's like yeah is it that or is it literally like zach's talking about where it's just like like you're just squirting that shit into the fucking shaker in the recipe really good

in the recipe it says noise required or it won't taste as good the only way that you could put mustard on a drink is if you have like one of those bougie ass uh bloody marys again and you just have a hot dog on a stick on top with mustard on it like that doesn't count that's the only way though that would it would be like not ridiculous i would say it would count if you took everything on top of the bloody mary put it inside of it and just started to stir it around which i don't think people do but would be a great move to have everyone around you think you're a psychopath i actually if i think that should just be a rule if we're ever out and you get one of those drinks that has a bunch of stuff like

do that and try to keep a straight face as much as you can and like try to do it in front of the server so it's like i mean you gave this to me like it clearly goes with the drink and just like just go for it i just want to see their reaction i'm on board uh the next one's a mustard bloody mary so we were close i could be good uh this one's for rooks uh mustard infused gin i should try it next time are you saying jim jim is mustard infused yeah colonel jim mustard he's you know from clue or he comes three hole punch boom sorry it's a callback I just forget from what the office oh there we go thank you

yeah I heard Corey comes three hole punch is that what you said no I said or he comes three hole punch oh okay it's I'm not gonna lie man haven't been on the pod in a little.

Throwing out just like a stupid one-line joke and have it be silent for like eight seconds. I might hop, dude. That just fucking hurt. I didn't think that was like a knock you over the head, but just like not even one giggle. That shit hurt my soul. Oh, what's that? My Costco order's here? Yeah, I gotta

go, boys. Eight minutes. I got eight minutes. It is Wednesday, my dude. I'm gonna fuck you, Brian. Yo. Yeah, how do you get milk out of a crab? Give me milk now, mommy. Fat matches.

Solve world hunger. Can I get this vagina animal style? Bonnie is Wonderland. Be the way. I'm sweater. Ow! That came as an orgasm? Wah, wah, wahoo!

That's like an orgy, my guy. What's up, sluts? The Olympics are a fraud. Your word is Reichstrabatism. Ew, you're gross. Anywhere close to my butthole, he is just eating right through it. Your bottom's off? Trying to low-key penetrate you.

Hey, boo-boo. I shall not. Yeah, I shall not. Talking around to shit himself all the time. He's trying to have sex with a woman. Gun to the penis is what you need, brother. White Jesus. Kirby's down there just blowing.

Kneecaps are not organs. Fuck you, Ratatouille. It is Wednesday, my dudes. Welcome back to another episode of It's Wednesday, My Dudes, episode 112. It's been a couple weeks, but everyone's back. So we got Corey. We got Rooks. He's back.

We got Zach. I want to be like the Undertaker gif for this song. Okay. And I'm Brian. I have nothing nothing prepared but it's been a couple weeks so usually we have enough dumb stories to fill the time so you know cory give us a dumb story uh i had i was a part of my first wedding shower two weeks ago that was uh how much you get why'd you say it like that how do you want me to say it like when you say a part of does that mean you just went to one or that like you were yeah okay went to married it was the first it was a first for both but i was saying like

oh like he's like well i went to i was a part of my very own first uh wedding shower which is like is there a second one? Like, what are we talking here? Like, I was just I mean, it's not like you're in a shower is how I took it. Yeah. Which which it rained a lot. So I was. OK, we were showered with love.

Now, it's just like such a weird it's such a weird like experience, like for the guy, like just show up and bring flowers so that was literally my job and then pack the car and it was like it was kind of it was it was nice because uh claire's sister's boyfriend and her brother like showed up because they're supposed to go golfing and got caught in the rain they're like oh i guess we'll just go back to the house not realizing that there's like 40 women and like all opening presents and just like very uh great ratio yeah um a lot of pepsi ketchup as well they sponsored um but yeah i mean it was fun got to see some family and then i did a lot of housework i don't like and then my dad bought hawaiian shirts off of a guy at a pirates game so oh yeah it's pretty clutch he i mean he

was like spent he was all over the place that i'll just say the boys got sloshed at the pirates game it was i so i had to go to the shower obviously but i dropped my dad off at the bar across the street for the pirates game on my way and i dropped him like an hour earlier than when he said he was gonna meet claire's dad and brothers which was an hour before the game which was also delayed by 40 minutes so they were at the bar for like two and a half hours and i like i showed up and my dad was just like immediately yelling i mean like he yells a lot but like immediately off the bat you can like it is so like you so easy to tell when your dad's wasted like it's so it's section 100 section 300

was telling him to pipe down it was ridiculous he was screaming it was fantastic though and so then we just kept drinking like that was pretty much the whole day and then uh but yeah he was like i guess people lined up for an like an hour before the game for these hawaiian shirts which respect i get it they're sick and then because i dropped my dad off and there was a line as i was driving by and i was like that's ridiculous white socks fans suck apparently because we rolled in trash 20 minutes before game time no light at all yeah got a handful of them yeah so obviously my dad didn't get one because they were like showed up at the very last minute being drunk at all and we were we ended up just standing behind home plate and drinking because it was like great seats and well not seats but great view and

like standing by a game and everybody's drunk anyway and like every five seconds i like turn around my dad's talking to somebody new and like waving money around i'm like not like maybe maybe we don't do that but every person's like they're like no i'm keeping this he's like i'll give you 30 it's like no i want this and they found a couple of uh visiting fans and they were like yeah like here you go they were gonna give it to him for free but he he was like take the money like threw at him i was like okay man it was 30 for two yeah uh i think 20 for two actually he i don't know why but his price went down after he was probably feeling like dejected like he was just like yeah it's

like nobody's buying this from me yeah it's negotiation man but yeah but one random story my mom and her like sisters made a weekend out of it because they obviously came like by like ants came for the shower and stuff they made a weekend out of the whole trip so they did a whole bunch of like pittsburgh things um but they went to the pirates game the day before and like i've seen 60 probably baseball games, maybe more. I don't know. I've seen a lot of baseball games in my life. They saw the best baseball game out of anyone in my family.

And it's absurd. They sat behind home plate. And then it was Bucco's Hawaiian bucket hat night. And then they came back from being down four runs in the seventh and they hit a walk off to run home run to win the game. And I forget who hit it, like Santana or someone. But he did like a fucking hilarious dance, like walk it off to the to the plate. And the team was going crazy. And then they had firework night.

Then they like met some I don't know is a big deal for my mom, some famous governor of Ohio years ago. Jesus Christ. I don't know. My cockaboo's a bitch ass. Yeah. But anyway, what a fucking, I was just so, me and my dad were so mad because we worked on the house.

We were exhausted. And we go sit down and we see all these texts. I went on Twitter and just everything is just like, the best buckos game. I was like, motherfucker. Are you kidding me? these texts in my like i went on twitter and just everything is just like the best buckos game i was like motherfucker like are you kidding me my mom just like they texted us like what does this mean they're looking at the scoreboard they're like what what do these three letters mean i'm like motherfucker like stop it it's like don't do this so yeah it was uh it was a lot. Did they get a bucket hat? They also bothered away fans, and my mom bothered them enough where she got a bucket hat.

Yes, she did. Hell yeah. I hope Jeff shows up the next time I see him in both a bucket hat and Hawaiian pirate shirt. I mean, it's the outfit. Is the next time you're going to see him at the wedding? Because there's a pretty high chance that he actually wears it like the day before. Down the aisle? Maybe not down the outfit. Is the next time you're going to see him at the wedding? Because there's a pretty high chance that he actually wears it like the day before. Down the aisle? Maybe not down the aisle, but he'll wear it.

He'll wear it. It's not down the aisle because he's not walking down the aisle. He'll be at the end waiting for you. Yeah, it would actually be really great if I could just like tell him to like, hey, make like a handkerchief out of it. And like you put it. It'd be a good little a subtle nod if you will if you were more of a pirates fan i would say you would have to do it but like i feel like you don't care that i refer to pirates yeah but like not to if they get a if they get a pepsi lounge i'll root for them or even harder once i get my superpowers okay that's fair that's fair that'll be uh that's our combined gift to you is one ticket to the If they get a Pepsi Lounge, I'll root for them even harder once I get my superpowers. Okay.

That's fair. That's fair. That's our combined gift to you is one ticket to the Pepsi Lounge next July 5th. Fair? I'd love that. Yeah. Love it. You got an emoji?

I'll go. There's got to be a skull and bones there for the buckos. Go buckos. And flowers for the shower. I feel like I have to do something shower related because no there you go skull and bones do the water hours water the water oh yeah yeah that's pretty good drippy if you will rooks how many uh wedding showers you go to this weekend i went to zero i participated in zero um i don't when's the last time i was on here i feel like a lot's happened like last year i think because i've been missing a lot because i've been like doing shit it's been like three weeks yeah all right just like chris berman's fastest three minutes um so

i uh i think i was on the weekend before i went to ocean this is a slow three minutes man i went to city with the boys ryan hicickey, Worldwide Sports Radio Network, and my boy Teddy, drinking at Ocean City, had a blast. The last day went to... I appreciate it. Fuck it. Teddy, not a real Teddy bear.

Yeah, no, Teddy is a person, not a bear. He's not a real Teddy bear. We went to Ocean City, Maryland, got after it. Got after it a little too hard. Sunday took me seven and a half hours to get home because I had to keep stopping to throw up. And then I puked in three different Royal Farms. I puked in the parking lot of a Royal Farms

and then went inside to the bathroom and it was completely packed and the stall was full and so i couldn't go in a stall and there were like people walking around i puked in the urinal in front of like two different families um and then i slept in my car for like an hour and a half until i was good and then got back on the road um then got home it was horrible oh my god that's too loud did you turn it back up that's too loud jesus um and then uh yeah after that i had to go to orlando for work i wanted to fucking die uh indy shit all over denise's apartment while i was gone in orlando too hell yeah it was horrible um show her who's boss love that and he had i blame it on

denise and he had like big time diarrhea guy and she tried to aim it out of the crate literally there's just one wall of the crate that just has like shit on it and then there's just like a perfect splatter like coming out the back of it it was ridiculous um yeah once i went to ocean city with the boys got after it went to orlando um then was i think i came up on like fourth of july weekend i guess i don't know um and then my boy nites came in town we got after it pitter-pattered um oh dude we i threw out like 90 different hypothetical there we was like a big group of people who like i knew most people but there were like four people that i had never met before and we were at this bar and i was throwing all the hypotheticals we do like 16 or 6 12 18 24 like

yeah yeah like literally like good handjob bad job from your grandma like all that kind of shit and these four like two of the girls were just looking at me like, what the fuck? And I was just like, yeah, no, I got a bunch of these. We're going to keep going. And everyone was into it and answering, but it was just like, oh my god, this is absurd. Sky's a menace.

Great first impression. But immediately after that, I went to New Jersey. Spent time with Denise. I got to go to Janks, which was sick. Going to Janks, dude. MVP. It's a bar that Jersey Shore people used to go to all the time. Was it the daytime

bar, then? Wasn't Karma one? Karma was an OG one, for sure. Janks was more daytime shit, I'm pretty sure. It was it was sick it was really cool like beach bar and like the boys went there and like i was like i feel important um someone give me a blowout right now some history well yeah don't say that yeah it's a tough one of the boys give me a blowout right

oh bounty is made in appearance hey the quicker picker-upper. There he is. Hey, hey. No free airtime for them, okay? Oh, sorry. Sponsor us, Bounty. Not sponsored. You sponsor everyone on TikTok. Sponsor us.

All the Pepsi references as well. Oh, sick. Nobody's going to know what we're saying. The beep lounge. But yeah, went to Jersey, did that. uh jesse and like all her family and shit we had like a pool day and then got back and then this weekend just fucking golfed that's really it i was fucking exhausted and i was like i just need a weekend to get back on my feet a little played pretty ass but like it was good getting out there with the boys and yeah that's that's it would you ever go to like a there's like the play-in tournaments for like the masters

right that like anyone can go to not the math if you like pay like us but like a us open you pick the one you can't do that too literally the only one that requires invites um no i would never do that because i would be just mortified the entire time but like what if we pay for you to go so like you just show up and play well it's like super uh i'm pretty you have to like first off you have to like win a qualifier which costs money and then i think if you win that then you go and it costs more money i don't know i don't know how this shit works so we'll pay for you to go to a qualifier they're like they're like four thousand dollars yeah brian will pay for you to go to a yeah yeah brian's gonna pay for it brian that's what he wants literally the thing the thing that's insane about this kid probably in his

budget for how much he has set aside for you for christmas so i did get a bonus about this person this bri guy here is if this was like a prank like if i was like oh dude no like i would be so stressed out like that sounds terrible burn would be like okay i'm gonna pay four thousand dollars and i'll fly you out to it have fun and he's like 755 this is the best fucking money spent my life. Like, I mean, yeah, by spending money on dumb things is way more exciting than spending money on like heartfelt things. Like if you cry happy tears for something, I'm like,

that was worth it. Bad gift. But if you cry because it's funny or you're terrified, absolutely worth it. Like if I could pay to have a clown chase Rooks in the middle of the night, absolutely. Yeah, see?

Rooks, what's your biggest fear? Rejection? He doesn't like spiders, remember? I hate spiders. Spiders stink. You can buy spiders. Do you want me to dox it for you anytime soon what about uh spider man

pro you don't like spider man no interesting maybe I could just get Andrew Garfield to come hang out with him the whole point of me saying no to the spider man thing is maybe burn will like buy me some like spider man shit and like send it to me you know what I'm saying

a little reverse psychology he's in the next spider-verse movie just rooks it like a pajama spider-man suit burn i actually uh paid for your audition for uh spider-man and for your flight and everything so but like is it then the animated one? So I get to pick a weird knockoff version? Sure. What? Cool.

Okay. No, you have not seen Spider-Verse where like every version of Spider-Man and some like weird version of Spider-Man. No, I know. I've seen the first Spider-Verse. I haven't seen the most recent one. Oh, there's a lot of Spider-Men. There's no spoilers, but you know.

Spider-Man's in Spider-Verse? Fuck, man. Fuck you, dude. Hey-Man. There's no spoilers, but you know. Spider-Man's in Spider-Verse? Fuck, man. Fuck you, dude. Hey, Zach, how's bounty? How's your week been? Three weeks. Two weeks?

It was good. I only have one thing to talk. I'll do it really quickly. I was in Panama. Shout out to Panama. You can slow down. We're no rush. Panama was great.

Hit the music, burn. Fastest three minutes. What? Rumbling, bubbling, stumbling. I flew into Panama. It was nice. Hit the music, Burn. Fastest three minutes. What? Rumbling, bubbling, stumbling. I flew into Panama. It was nice. Very humid. Felt like warmer Florida. Then I went to Michigan. Colder Florida. I got

back. Decided to sleep in my old bed. That was nice. I've been binge-watching Love Island, which has been great. UK specifically. I'm going to start adopting the terminology Was one of your points in your story I slept in my own bed was part of your story?

Oh yeah, because I had been in Panama and then I immediately went to Michigan, so I slept in my own bed to celebrate the 4th of July Colder Florida I'm back So watching Love Island UK right now I'm addicted, it's so good also Rooks I have been jacking

your Hulu account so I'm probably fucking up your algorithm because you haven't logged in since Lollapalooza and I've just been using it but yeah so if you want to buy without ads I would really appreciate that it was really good because they have great sayings

in Love Island UK. It's like, want to get a crack on or do you want to have a chat? Or it's early days. It's still early days. It's still early days, which no one, like, I was trying to think of the equivalent of the US people saying that. And I feel like it would just be, yeah, we're early. Like, I don't know what to say in early days. Like, we're just talking, you know?

Yeah, but I don't know. But I fucking love that show to say in early days. We're just talking. Yeah, but I don't know. But I fucking love that show. It's early days. My favorite thing they say is when they're confident, it's like, I back myself. I always back myself. I always back myself. But no, it's a fantastic show.

The only criticism I have is that it's a week behind the actual airing of it in the UK. And so I get fucked on the tiktok algorithm because i watched one love island clip for too long and then i get all the spoilers just flow into my feed which is a bummer so um yeah you gotta watch live at like 3 a.m every like monday night when it's like the correct time zone there it's uh it's great and i just appreciate how they embrace like the challenges aren't really even challenges they're just like yeah it's it's it's just literally meant to watch people like hook up and cause drama which i appreciate it's the most mindless tv

um there is um what else i took an edible yesterday got really high ate a lot of panda express um that was nice um yeah i mean it's been a kind of a a chill ish two and a half three weeks i'm trying to think if there's anything else exciting going on a little cheeky bat a little cheeky wedding showers cheeky banners how's the chat no no wedding showers i had to go to my sister's one like a month or two ago. You thought Corey was useless at the bachelor. Imagine what the fucking brother of the bride job is. Like fucking nothing. Yeah.

Not one person wants to talk to you. It's a hundred percent. Um, so, uh, so that was nice ish. Uh, I had,

what else did I, uh, nuts fucking warm out. I'm kind of looking forward to football season already. Seven more weekends. Not that I'm counting down. Need a crew next. Also, there's a new DraftKings sports book bar right near Wrigley Field.

And I'm so bummed it wasn't opened when we had Corey's bachelor party. Because it is the coolest sports book I've ever seen. The TVs are massive. It's perfect for college football. Is that the Barstool one? No, no, no. It's not barstool it's draft kings it's draft kings sponsor it's right out right next to wrigley field like

actually it's attached to wrigley yeah we saw it when we walked when our uber dropped us off a mile away from where we're supposed to be we had to walk by it yeah so did it just open though it just opened yeah it just opened like a week or two ago imagine how much money we would have lost there though oh buddy i was betting all of it i was betting conca calf gold cup i am three and It just opened like a week or two ago. Imagine how much money we would have lost there, though. Oh, buddy. All of it. I was betting CONCACAF Gold Cup. I am three and four on my Gold Cup picks. Shout out Jamaica.

Shout out Panama. Shout out not the USA because fuck them. And then shout out, fuck, who is the last one? Not Cutter. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, titties, fuck. Who was the last one that played? Guatemala, I think. No, they played Jamaica. Iica i don't know regardless i'm three and four 75 i'm gonna quit my job soon oh my god that was so hard to follow

uh isn't your soccer betting strategy just always bet the under? And you are like 85% hit rate on it. Yeah, I was actually. It wasn't always bet the under. It was. It was like over on corner kicks. And then always over corners. It was two different bets I would place. And depending on the teams, looking back to see if they were on a streak of goals, it would be over two and a half goals which shockingly hit more than you think and then it would be a tie those were the two that i would

pick like tie and regulation hate it all right no winning showers for zach um it was a boring week dude did you guys get affected by the twitter rate limit i hated it i was out with tommy and i was like we were with some of his friends were you there the day there were you alive the day where on twitter you were like limited to like 500 tweets everybody remembers the day i did not know this i've been like no i have not been on my phone very much outside of tiktok to be honest it didn't. Two Saturdays ago, I think. Last Saturday? There's something. And you could only look at 500 tweets,

but if you loaded a trend... Ah, fuck, it was Mexico. God damn it. Sorry. Sorry to all my Mexico viewers. All of those zero Mexican viewers, you know. In the future. In the future. Maybe there's a bounty in Mexico that can sponsor us. Stay tuned for Zach's semi-final picks as a little treat to listen to the rest of the future. In the future. Maybe there's a bounty in Mexico that can sponsor us. Stay tuned for Zach's semifinal picks as a little treat to listen to the rest of the episode.

There we go. But yeah, I know. So was I the only one? I was sitting there on my phone because it was all Tommy's friends. And I was like, I don't want to talk to anybody. And then I couldn't scroll on Twitter anymore because it wouldn't load. I was like, oh, no, this sucks. And then like after a few hours, like we increased the the limit and they like bumped it up by like another hundred tweets

so like scrolled once and then i was like you're limited again i was like ah so did you go on thread oh i have it but you it's not like chronological it's just like kind of throws random things at you and even if you follow people it gives you people you don't follow so i don't know what the point of it is so i like i don't know i looked like actually not a thread it's the exact opposite of a thread it's just like random thoughts from the internet all jumbled together perfect for me um one of tommy's friends burped so loud that i heard it through like three different walls and it was incredible just like you know just have to throw that out there it's a good week it was it impressed me so much i was

like going to bed and they're like heading out and i heard it i was like i should get up to go out to the room and just say like just to start a slow clap going um and i told her that the next day and she got very embarrassed but then like burped that loud at dinner, like eight times. So like, you know, yeah. Um, Tommy pooped himself. That was funny.

Oh, we went to the beach outing your boy, right? I don't think your fucking roommate right now. Jesus. I asked, I asked if I could tell a story. And he said,

absolutely. We were at the beach in the water. We looked it up 66 degrees, which is freezing. He's like, yeah, I'm gonna go in the water i go pee i was like dude's so cold don't do that he went and did it came back out like 20 minutes

later he's like i gotta pee again because this kid has a bladder of a toddler goes back out he's like yeah when i was out there i actually i tried to bear down to like pee a little bit and i thought i had to fart and then you know some poop came out so they came back and was telling me this like while we're like standing next to those girls. I was like, there was, like, a porta potty, like, up, like, by where we parked, like, 50 feet away. He's like, yeah, I'm going to go wipe. I was just like, dude, like, did you clean off the water at all or anything? He's like, yeah.

That kid, I love the kid to death. He's a disgusting fucking person, man. He just has, like, bathroom problems, and it's hilarious that's why you know got that bidet installed it's been a good three weeks i mean um the man had the most natural bidet in the history of the world if you're testing the water right even if it's if it's a 30 chance of shit out of your ass like i'd be fucking i'd be down there sliding that i'd slide the shorts down a little you know just in case hopping the waves don't like it's still it's still shitting in the ocean like that's where i draw the line like i'm not that disgusting and

i'm a gross human but like me it's better than doing it on dry land so talking about like shitting in the ocean got me thinking me my friends were having a conversation of where's the worst place to eat it eat a full cake and i i think bank was number one like in line in line at the bank is a tough place to eat is eat a cake we could do way better than that i don't know man is banks time is your weekend done oh not at all but like it's all right okay we actually have random i should have random dumb stories let me put a place hit him and then i want to go back to that because i would love to discuss this topic um at brunch before tommy pooped himself uh one of the girls started bawling her eyes out so that was interesting why i just what's the team so so she was like talking to this dude for like four years and but they're like just friends and then like

the last like five months they were like kind of seeing each other and he like asked her to be like boyfriend girlfriend and she said no and then he cheated on her and i was like well you know you just told him like you don't want to date him she's like yeah but like you don't understand i was like cheating's bad for sure he should have broken up with you but like but were they just told you said that she said no to being in a relationship

yeah but they were they were exclusive but they weren't in a relationship oh eat my ass bitch yeah yeah yeah if you're listening sweetheart I apologize i hope everything's okay and i hope it gets better but like also like come on like yeah let's be smart bottomless mimosa brunch too and then that came up and then she was like mustard and i'm also

i'm not what's up how much mustard was on the mimosas dude you know i probably could have put some in hers and she wouldn't have noticed because she was A couple deep I'm not gonna lie Crying at bottomless mimosas That's like rock bottom like that's as Bad as it gets like I would be so sick Bottomless mimosas is such like A vibe and it's such like a fucking

Get the day started type shit if someone started Crying I'd be like go sit at the bar by yourself Like just go we're gonna do This and then we'll reconvene after this but like you will not kill the vibe of bottomless mimosas i feel like that's just so early to be sad like is that a that's the first thought that i had is like that's just really early in the day to be sad right yeah it's not sad hours people can be i mean they can, they can, but I don't... How many funerals are in the morning?

Not very many. They're always, like, after work. Most... No. Are we talking funerals? I thought they're usually Sunday morning. Speaking of funerals, maybe worse time to eat a cake, but let's keep going. Oh, that's a good one.

Funerals are a great time to eat a cake. There's nothing to do. Like, that's a good one. Keep that on the board. Write it down. Funeral's a great time to eat a cake. There's nothing to do. Like, at the service itself? Plus, they're putting the casket in the grass, and you're like, full cake with a fork. Spin zone. Buttercream is great. I love the buttercream icing. No, dude, there's also one less person who can take a piece from you, because they're

dead. Instead of that fucking Call of Duty, pay F to pay respects, or press F to pay respects, press F to have a bite of cake to eat cake i gotta pour some of that cake out for the homies so as they're throwing him down you just throw a piece in there like salt as they're throwing him down what do you think he's getting fucking shaquille o'neal lobbed into the fucking ground dude at my funeral you need to bounce me 10 times and then slam dunk me into the ground. We want to dig the hole and then everyone just free fall the casket down into the grave. You have to RKO Brian into the ditch.

My dead body into a spike pit. We got the fucking parachute from BB class. We're just bouncing the fucking casket up and down. I put his dead hand on the floor and I run the scooters over it. Like the little gym class scooters over here. Oh. Just relive all of your childhood

pain. I love it. So good. So funeral, great place to eat cake. If we... Great place. We'll discuss. Let him finish his weekend. Absolutely is. She also told us that she was adopted i don't think that was like news to anybody but like i didn't know um it was from ukraine so she made a lot of ukraine wardrokes it was a great brunch i was

so entertained this is all one person oh yeah yeah yeah is she is she good do we have like confirmation that she's okay today and everything's good well today no she was fine like the next day of that weekend i'm gonna say like it sounds like she was going through it a little bit yeah she so she like grew up in like the valley of la so she like had the valley girl accent and was like all over the place she's crazy um but she was really drunk from brunch jumped in the ocean and was like out swimming by herself, like really deep and was like freezing water. We're like, is she OK? And so one of the other girls like, I'm just going to go check on her. It's just like how to corral her back in.

It's one of those mornings. Let's just roll the dice. Let's see. Let's see what happens. I just don't want her to float away. It's she's, you know, she's been through a lot. She came back from the ocean was like guys i feel great now like all that crying i'm over it this is what

you need to do to get over this just hop in the ocean like that's good let's go lay down um so yeah that was the most of it it's a while did you say that shit like she's like you're fucking like schizophrenic like grandmother you're like yeah okay sweetie all right come over here also if i was a time for a nap if i was adopted i would drop that shit on people who didn't know like it was the biggest news of all time like i would put them in that probably like oh and by the way i'm fucking adopted just anytime you go out to dinner like have the talk about cake have the waitress bring a cake pretending like it's your birthday but on it it says i'm adopted and just always announce that

to people like that correct i like it you get cakes for free for being adopted yeah you have a car you have to carry it around with you it's a separate room behind the dmv where you go to every every year the adopted kid room also DMV, bad place to eat cake. Maybe not. DMV, fantastic place to eat cake. DMV, great place to eat cake. I was there this weekend. Great place to eat cake.

No, they should have because it would have been great. I got my new photo and I think I look like Charles Manson. Probably. Oh my god god that is fucking horrifying yeah please put that on please put that on insta or something whatever you were accused of you did it you did that is horrifying you'd be like i don't promote profiling but in this instance i did yeah i should oh it's a tough look, man.

Yeah. The DMV is crazy. Oh, I got one gym pet peeve and then I'm done. Oh, yeah. There's a dude benching with his knees crossed and not like in the air, like newspaper knees crossed. Oh, no, no, no, no. It's like, wait, what? You do newspaper sitting in the cross applesauce. And then you. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. It's like, wait, what? You do newspaper sitting in the cross applesauce? No, no, no.

No, like Sunday morning. You've got the one leg perched up on the angle. Just 90, one over the other, like you have a newspaper, but then lean back and start benching. And just keep them that way. That's such a good way to describe that leg cross, because I don't think I've ever heard someone say newspaper cross. That should be the next crisscross applesau's it that's so good you're welcome keep that on the head but yeah i was just confused i don't like i don't know maybe not but that's a pet uh yeah it's a what the fuck is happening i i would be so i would not be able to

stop looking like i would just be like what the fuck is the purpose of this was he wearing was he wearing was he wearing monarchs was an old guy yeah it's gotta be no he was like our age what the fuck yeah with a camera setup was this like this camera this camera this camera you just got nabbed no but there's two people with tripods there that day it's it should be illegal were they filming newspaper guy or like they were actually reporting for the news for the newspaper mm-hmm extra extra girl cries at mimosa brunch and then was adopted also ukraine adopted girl uh wouldn't stop talking about how hot

zelensky is zelensky is that the leader of ukraine yeah so i don't know she had a lot of emotions going on um i'd like to put in uh another suggestion for worst place for cake uh locker room like gym locker room oh that's bad it's not a good place yeah it's even worse bad cake sauna in the gym locker room oh god oh i got a bad one dude amusement park wave pool deep end that'd be fun though no no no no no deep end of a wave pool is stressful. That's what I'm saying. It's stressful in general,

and then the cake's going to be going fucking everywhere, and you're surrounded by these little kids. You're definitely covered in piss, number two. And then number three, everyone's going to want the cake. You're going to be the hot commodity there. Is Tommy in the wave pool? Yeah, maybe there's shit in there, too.

I don't know. There's probably shit in there. Let's be real okay guys sauna's really bad i don't know if you could sauna's about oh inside of a casket there's not much i do so i feel like i mean are you a cake there if you're like if you're like being buried alive are you dead are you just like vibing in a casket what is this road rules like 2002 where you're just like buried alive challenge what is this it's uh actually uh what's the joe rogan show fear factor fear factor yeah it's fucked oh have you guys like not to like

diverge because i definitely want to keep talking about this cake thing have you watched the fear factor in the last like two years oh is it new it's still going on no no it's not still going on like the old one oh yeah it's really so bad like fucked i was watching an episode they had these two girls that literally like they were sitting there and they had their arms like strapped in and they were putting needles like through their arms starting at the shoulder and like not like into their skin like through their skin one way and coming out the shoulder and like not like into their skin like through their skin one way and coming out the other and then the needles kept getting bigger

I was like what in the fuck is this torture porn ass shit like this is fucked up dude yeah that's insane the one I remember having nightmares about it was like you had to swim through this pipe that was just full of water and there was like little holes to stick your head up in that had oxygen like every like 50 feet and you had to go

as far as you could i was like there's no because there's no like emergency like escape it's just like you're in a sewer pipe i'll tell you right now you could take bad place to eat fucking cake sewer pipe well are the porta potty teenage mutant i need a cake in a port-a-potty to be fair i need a cupcake in a port-a-potty i don't know if i i don't know if i oh i need a whole cake in there sometimes i've been there for a while man who knows that's true but yeah it's always hotter in the port-a-potty than it is outside though port-a-potty is like similar to a sauna except it just smells worse It's like borderline The same thing

It should be a little cooler in a port-a-potty Port-a-potty's at Port-a-potty's at fucking music festivals In the summer dude Depends how much energy I'd come out of those things looking thin my guy I'd be in there for 20 minutes I'd come out I'd see for the first time in my life

I'd see one ab on my body And I'd be like there for 20 minutes. I'd come out. I'd see for the first time in my life, I'd see one ab on my body and I'd be like, okay, I'll come back in here. I'll go eat mac and cheese really quick. Rooks came out looking like the after picture. Exactly. Can I float the idea of eating a cake while you're at the dentist?

No. Tools in mouth, but also trying to eat. Dentists need to work harder. They don't do shit they that dentist comes in and just like the well so if we're doing it with like the dental practitioner or whatever the assistant lady the hygienist okay yeah yeah then yes correct because they don't get paid enough if the fucking dentist comes in there make them work around and see if i actually got any fucking cavities with my they feeding that's fair are they feeding me cake or am i feeding myself no you're feeding they're just doing

if they were sitting there cleaning if they had my mouth open they're just like scraping shit and also just inserting cake into my mouth i feel like this isn't that bad you know they're like do you want do you want mint or cinnamon if you want chocolate or vanilla do you just want cake it was

like do you want peppermint fluoride uh fruit chocolate or vanilla. Do you just want cake? It's like, do you want peppermint, fluoride, fruit punch fluoride, or do you just want cake? You know the tube that they have to suck out your saliva? I want a second tube

to send icing into my mouth. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Replace saliva with icing. Yeah, an icing hose. No. Yeah,

they make those. Honestly, I picture it it a dentist that feeds you cake needs to be added to the invention list like i would pitch that i would absolutely pitch that what's the what's the business you get cake while you're at the dentist it's way better than just going to the fucking dentist question is there room for a car wash in this idea oh now i'm out car wash great place for cake especially on a busy saturday morning that's a good place for a cake good good good good cake spot only if you have a car though bad cake spot yeah that's a bad that looks so sad that looks so sad that looks so good

you look like fucking Eeyore eating cake in the rain the rain in general is probably not a good place to eat cake right? yeah rain's a tough cake element you could have an umbrella though Amazon rainforest would be tough yeah for a lot of reasons do you guys like dirt cake like uh like the with the gummy worms yeah oh yeah that's good cake isn't it like more pudding more pudding yeah i knew it was based off of real dirt oh i think somebody wrote a book about it one time and it's based off that it's loosely based on true events of dirt i'm out i'm out was the book inspired by true or was it like

autobiography of dirt yes that dirt road and i hope bought a biography trying to think what are some other bad places beach you open the pages and just more dirt falls out yeah in a submersive uh machine oh by the titanic probably not a good place but imagine they find like crumpled up bones with like a, a nice, like, some cake right by it. Like, oh, man, this guy loves cake. He'd love, you'd go on, he'd run out. What'd he love doing? Eating cake. They'll have plastic forks with, like, a little residual icing on it. Fucking box, like, what is it, the Carvel box or whatever that comes in?

Just, like, floating around past the Titanic. Fully preserved somehow underwater. The debris that led them back to oh just a little icing bits the people that are doing the excursions like wait guys do you think the cake's still down there like do you think they ate it get in we're going there any left we built a second submarine like this to go down and retrieve the cake. What about cake while you're getting a proctology

cake? We're going by time. Two of my favorite things. We're going to list good times to have cake? Did you say proctology, Brian? Yeah, like the finger up the butt while eating cake i'll tell you right now from experience if i would have turned on my side with my pants on my ankles and there was a cake to my side and i would have had a fork i would

have been much happier in that appointment that's all i'm gonna say but what if the doctor just took his hand over you one finger through the top of the cake and then did his thing real quick yeah that's a salt yeah this is just fucked up man your blood sugar is gonna spike and things going straight through your intestines was that in the in the book dirt the autobiography you see in the back where uh soil wrote about dirt as like the mention that's when the plot thickens it turns into mud do you think being in different positions in a courtroom would change the cake value correct like value or enjoyment enjoyment like i feel like everyone in a courtroom could use some cake at all times.

Yeah. I think defendant most of all probably, right? Yeah. So maybe the bailiff. The bailiff kind of needs to be paying attention. I don't think the bailiff could stop bad shit from happening if they were eating cake. Do we want to give the jurors cake? Because I feel like if they get cake, they'll be happier, which means they could be more lenient.

But on the flip side, if they don't have cake and they see everyone else getting cake, they'll be angrier. So they might find the guy guilty or girl guilty. I feel like you have to give it. It has to be like elementary school, right? Like, did you bring enough for the class? Like, I feel like everyone has to have a cake. Yeah. Well, it's like, you know, in the courtroom, courtroom you have to like i actually never been in a

courtroom but i think you set your phone off right or you like put your phone off to the side you gotta go put put your phone down but then there's just like the the plates of cake everybody just gets a cake and goes in a little trade i like it that'd be sick i was thinking like you're a juror but you sneak the cake in and then while they're doing arguments you're just like slowly taking bites and then they're just like slowly more and more icing on your face until someone notices they should have cake on freaking planes like instead of the peanuts that they pack out you know how happy everybody would be if they were like cake that'd be unreal hold on let's let's circle back to fucking way back when episode you go to the bathroom in an airplane and there's a little compartment where a hand just comes up and just gives you a piece of cake

i'm in i'm so fucking it can't it can't be chocolate that's my only thing yeah let's roll the dice no it's like those it's like those old jelly beans you know that have like the good flavor and the bad flavor one's cake i'm willing to roll the dice i like it i'm not i don't like cake enough to either eat cake or eat turds what's the odds if someone said russian roulette no if someone said all right we're gonna roll a, and if it lands on the number one, you have to eat a turd. But if it lands on anything else, you'll eat cake. How many numbers on that dice have to be there? I mean, it's 50-50. We're going one out of 10, one out of 100.

It's my only reward, cake. Yes. My dice has to be like a million to one. If it's just cake, if it's just cake, like. How much do I want cake that day i feel like i just don't do it yeah yeah it has to be like cake in like ten thousand dollars cash did i walk into did i walk into a safeway pick up a random cake and put on a table or am i like cold stone and they have those really sick ice cream ice cream cakes they have like the oreos in the top like

what are we talking about ice cream bad time bad time to Oreos in the top? I'll go ice cream cake. Bad time to have cake when you're shoveling. Bad time to have cake. What are we shoveling? You're hiding a dead body. Then you're going to have to go to the courtroom when everybody else has cake to defend yourself. Is that blood? No, it's actually red icing.

Raspberry filling. It's a cake toto-cake pipeline. You know what's a good time? Oh, because there's going to be at the court as well. Correct. And at your funeral. Yeah. I feel like eating cake while you're on a riding lawnmower, mowing your lawn would be excellent.

Like you're just eating cake, mowing the lawn. I feel like that'd be tough though, man. But it doesn't vibrate that. It depends on the size of the cake. It's going to gonna be dirt cake because if you get some little grass on top it just fits the yeah that's true how good is your lawnmower type of thing yeah there's a lot of variables on that one i feel like so maybe not a good time are we gonna are we gonna do like one standard cake for each scenario are we just gonna kind of like free ball it yeah i was thinking full sheet cakes were you guys thinking piece of cake or full sheet cakes i was no we were talking full cake yeah full cake yeah yeah okay

like well like you care like you're a waiter yeah okay um bad time to have ice cream cake sauna again if we're going to specifically say what type of cake that'd be the worst you know what would be a great place for them to just have cakes at the ready back of an ambulance man oh that'd be unreal yeah hey congrats welcome to getting shipped to the hospital welcome to the cake fucking i'm bleeding out someone's giving me cpr you better be throwing fucking you better be throwing cake in my mouth too okay here's some cake and i'm gonna blow it into your lungs i got a hole i got shot or something that holds my body cake just starts oozing out dude ooze feeling steve aoki just has to be the one that serves you the cake too and all these scenarios right yeah like instead

of throwing cakes at people now he's actually just like handing great prank show handing cakes to people in inconvenient times it's just steve aoki you just got a yokied it writes itself yeah i mean i greenlight it if we get our money from our bounty sponsor sponsorship i think we should uh put all of it into that for sure it would be messy and it would make sense that they would sponsor us. That actually makes so much sense. Were you walking down the street and you got hit in the face by a cake by Steve Aoki today? Used a quicker picker upper.

Oh, hire us. Oh, I forgot to have this. We're talking about courts. In the court of public opinion. You've been sentenced to three slices. What about on a first date?

Good or bad time to eat cake? Oh, great time. I feel like it's a good- Get a little messy? Yeah. Claire and I were talking about this yesterday right so like i all my family always had dessert like after dinner like it was like a meal like it was maybe not every single day but like five days out of the week probably right like that was very

common to me on our first date when they like when they came out and they're like do you guys want dessert i was like hell yeah like of course i do and she was like like they don't have dessert after every like dinner or like coffee and dessert and she was like i guess we're gonna have dessert like it's like okay cool but i was like she made me feel weird because i was like it's dessert it's the fourth meal you have to have it and then i realized now obviously that her family doesn't have dessert every single night i was like i get that you think it's different but i was like i get that you think it's different but i was like it's dessert it's like you got to save room for dessert after dinner it's a fact it's a very like spain thing for your family to do to the coffee part of it

you know yeah like so we would never eat if we went out to eat we would never order it at the restaurant dessert but my mom would always have cookies it's the best time to have it but my mom would always have like cookies or cake or something back at the house and, we would never order it at the restaurant dessert, but my mom would always have cookies. It's the best time to have it. But my mom would always have cookies or cake or something back at the house, and so we would just have that. But we would never get it from Chili's after I just fucking powered down some baby back ribs. We would never get a – We only did dessert after for birthdays and celebratory type shit. Good time to have cake? Yeah, absolutely.

During the week, dinner and shit know we didn't have dessert now hold on this might be controversial oh oh no good or bad time to have cake thanksgiving oh bad it's a pie it's a pie i don't know it's a pie holiday man it's pie good if you don't take your real white trash brian's only gonna have cake if it's made from texas roadhouse on thanksgiving i was gonna say you're fucking white trash you have texas roadhouse bread yo that's our founding fathers are you kidding me they had that brian's thanksgiving there's just peanut shells all over the floor. Different restaurant. Okay.

No, Thanksgiving is pie. Once you get past, after Labor Day, cake is out, pie is back in. If you want to go cobbler, I'm all on board. It's a lot better than pie. It's like wearing white, except it's cake and pie. You can't wear white sheet cakes after Labor Day. Come on. It's true.

See, Vailke's throwing a tin of blueberry in your face. Thank goodness you put the word cakes after that phrase. Oh. Yeah, that wouldn't be good to wear either. Hell ever. Yeah. Yeah. No.

Okay, we can move on. Yeah. Yep. So we got our list of cake. Do you want to intro the song? Sorry, I started it already. It's because we're all better. Song of the week.

We're better when we're together, guys. There's no combination of words I could put on. Happy cake day. No song that I could sing, but I could try for your heart. Our dreams, and they are made out of real things. Like a shoebox of photographs with sepia tone loving Love is the answer at least for most of the questions in my heart Like why are we here and where do we go

And how come we're so hard It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together.