It’s Wednesday My Dudes - 114: Don't Fight in Front of My Chia Pet

Episode Date: July 26, 2023

The boyos couldn't fathomably stay away from the Hamster science and have a brand new insane biology lesson on Hamsters, and Denise talks about how she would kill Victorian children.Rate us 5 stars on Spotify! and leave a review and rate on Apple Podcasts!Links here to follow on social media! and find other places to listen!

And here we go. So, Denise, how do you want to kill some children? Oh, yeah. So going off of kind of what you guys were talking about last week, I came up with my own list about what I think would kill Victorian kids. So I'm just going to rapid fire through them. The first one is RuPaul's Drag Race. Yeah. Like a death drop would kill them.

Both watching and attempting. I was was gonna say them doing it or getting hit with one it's just like the entire the entirety of rupaul's drag race um they wouldn't make it um ordering at chipotle similar to cory said i think ordering at Starbucks. It's just, it's stressful. Gender reveals? Like the That is so good. Like the confetti cannons? Yeah. Or any of the shit where like stuff turns into

powder? Like, yeah. Any loss of vision temporarily wouldn't be great for the program um well they probably couldn't see very well back then right like everyone had to have horrible vision yeah but imagine then like all of a sudden there's like a pop and everything goes pink it's terrifying yeah or below yeah sure um the next one is zoos like going to the zoo what like because they would be like freaked out because an animal was that close or just like like i don't we're you never saw an

elephant like a zebra but i feel like you'd just be like ha oh he's like he's caged like a loose elephant they don't understand that you know like the the petting zoo at an aquarium where you could you'd just be like, ha, oh, he's caged. A loose elephant. They don't understand that. You know the petting zoo at an aquarium where you can touch the stingray? That's like a 1A, 1B for that. At the DC Zoo, the lion enclosure, yes, there's a fence,

but you can kind of see over it in their space. If they saw a lion get close to them, they're dead immediately yeah or like at the uh dc zoo where they have the monkeys that go from like side to side above them that would kill them absolutely um it's really cool yeah my next one is motion censored lights yeah those freak me out yeah like walking into walking into a room and just like the lights go on or off. Uh-huh. Energy savings.

Really is scaring the shit out of them. Exactly. The electric bill. The next one, Ultimate Frisbee. They couldn't handle it. Which is again, how does it float? Exactly. Or is it like the kids who play Ultimate Frisbee would freak them out?

Dealer's choice. I'd like to think everything you're saying is like the concepts of them rather than them being a part of it because it's just funnier. Exactly. Explaining Ultimate Frisbee. Exploding over Ultimate Frisbee.

Right. This one I think might be the best one. Rice Krispie cereal. Like when they put it in their mouth and then it like pops i mean i think we said carbonation last time right like soda so that just gives mine to be shocked because of all the sawdust they're eating and die also oh my god don't open this again the horse is dead we're not talking about no no no no no the horse is filled with sawdust the amount of sawdust they probably actually ate back then was probably way higher than now probably like they actually the chop wooden stuff they didn't have filters

great fiber uh intake though yeah i'm not even like toilet paper back then like just smaller thinner pieces of wood, they didn't have actual paper. Wood? You think they're fucking jamming logs in their ass? Splinters! Well, the logs come out. Mm-hmm. No, because, like, they couldn't refine

paper very well, so, like, you had, like, bits of wood in it, because that's, like, what paper's made out of, so you get splinters. Do you guys think that, like, people listening to this who actually like our 20 episodes 20 user viewers that listen every episode or whatever it is are thinking that we have like just a chart that's like if rice crispy then sawdust flow chart yeah and then leads into bidet and they're just like like i picture we had just have like our whiteboard it's just like okay so brian said this so then it's gonna lead really good into like imagine if we just planned all all of this like the amount of shock

value that would be like yeah we plan this every week i say you said the word plan a lot and that's usually not how this goes exactly i would love to if we could plan out like the words for an entire hour long episode and like nail it down to be really good to be fair it would never happen we're taking part in the writer's strike right now so we can't oh that's fair yeah that's where our quality is a little bit lower right now because we got ahead of the game we don't have people in the back we started on strike day one and now people are catching up to us so do you guys do you hold on i have a podcast idea for the strike denise do you have any more ways to kill children yeah just one um my last one is hibachi yeah it's pretty good immediately that volcano fire they would be dead on the table.

Shellfish allergy, all of them. I know. The little wasabi peeing guy. Them being near just a hot grill in general, I think, is a death sentence. They're wearing a lot of layers. Yeah. Very flammable. Black stones. Weber, guys.

I didn't think you were going to finish that word cory uh so back to the writer's strike so the always sunny podcasts has stopped like in response to the writer's strike so my idea we take over for them and we write out what they will say put it in the ai generator and ai an entire episode of the always sunny podcast kind of fucked up to you because is it in the AI generator and AI an entire episode of the Always Sunny podcast. Kind of fucked up too because isn't like the big disagreement or one of them is AI. So it'd be a giant fuck you, but I think it's hysterical. I think it would drive the point home. I think they would find it funny if we did like one.

Like that would be – Or we could make a way to them. Of all of the ridiculous shit that you guys have said on this podcast, that would get you canceled. Yeah. The writers, they would scoop that up real quick. You'd be done. I think if we only did one episode of it and put a disclaimer ahead of time, like, hey, we understand this is the opposite of what we're supposed to be doing, but we think it's funny. Shout us out. I think they'll be okay with it this is alan iverson just right writing it actually

yeah yeah talk about podcast talk about podcast god damn it he's the practice guy right yes i mean he's the practice guy burn yes he's the practice guy talk Burn. Yes. He's the practice guy. Talk about podcast. That's what he's... Talk about podcast. Man, I know Rux hates this bit so much. I wouldn't give a shit if Burn didn't follow up saying it with

he's the practice guy, right? Like, Jesus fucking Christ. He makes the joke and then confirms that the joke is correct what's fucking Allen Iverson man like Jesus Christ look I don't watch a lot of basketball I know the I know the practice thing

and if you don't watch a lot of basketball players kind of blend together you don't know who is who whoa yeah hey I didn't say anything that's almost worse just saying because there's a no there's an nfl guy too right that did the i'm a i there's like multiple like famous like you played a ways of coaches and players and the ones i know are like the he uh i'm a man i'm 40 that one yeah that's the football coach there's a what coaches say have said like goofy shit like it's like why

are we narrowing it down to one there's like multiple compilations of like 40 different coaches saying goofy shit i know what brian's like the viral ones like back in the like back earlier on there's a lot it was just it's just really similar to yelling about practice yeah playoffs playoffs that guy playoffs playoffs playoffs no i think it's the uh you play to win the game guy you play to win the game i don't know who that is that's not Alan I know that much Denise what quotes do you know from post game

you lost me you lost me perfect great moments are made from great opportunities something like that there you go

I don't think that was right shout out in the midst of opportunity Corey who said that Mike's Golf Shop. What?

We buy golf. Clubs. We buy golf clubs. All right, we're trailing off. Do you want to start, or do you want another horrible biology fact from me? Oh, God. As long as it's not about hamsters, I'm down for biology really quick. Agreed.

Yeah. Or frozen heads. It's going to be worse. I already know. Oh, wait, no, we're not doing biology really quick. Yeah. Or frozen heads. It's going to be worse. Oh, wait, no, we're not doing biology. I got something better. Boys and Denise, sorry. Other boy. You got any summer 2024 plans?

Not yet. Not yet, but I have a feeling the thing that I have is going to not go with what you have. Oh, yeah. I saw this. I have a feeling the thing that I have is going to not go with what you have. I saw this. We're taking the podcast on a cruise, boys. Are they on a cruise? 2024 Creed Reunion Tour cruise.

It's actually a cruise? Yeah. That's fucking i or okay hold on now as much as i would love to do that i don't know this like i don't know if i want to be stuck on a boat with a bunch of creed fans no offense creed fans but like it would be an interesting cruise yeah it's hard it's one thing it's hard to follow up no offense creed friend like yeah it's hard to there's a polar opposite statements right there that's what i'm trying to say yeah well hey you know i'm not trying to be like hey but like concerning a little bit creed will reunite for their first show in 12 years in 2024 when they set sail the summer of 99 cruise next april as headliners on the rock voyage the band announced on july 17th so it's more than just creed who else is there i'm getting there uh three doors down rooks oh you're gonna

go crazy karaoke it's like karaoke no but like that's a karaoke song it's one of them but like it's it's it's your song whatever it's your song uh april 18th to 22nd 2024 out of miami to the bahamas uh it also includes buck cherry Tonic Fuel Vertical Horizon The Verve Pipe Tantric Nine Days and Among Others love that I heard Buck Cherry Buck Cherry

but also Buck Cherry I'd see them if they were part of the crew you know same if Buck Cherry was there I'd be in but Buck Cherry isn't there

so I'm out do you guys know about the Butthole Surfers what what it's a band from the 90s their name is the butthole surfers yeah what do you know a song i mean i got youtube right here i got you guys so there's honestly like

a one pretty famous song they have how many days is that cruise uh it's the 16th to the 22nd 18th to the 22nd so that's four days easy guys i might be interested in this are they the are they the butthole servers because they like anal like you know i'm saying like they're getting like the ride in the pipeline you know what i'm saying could you imagine let me know when many songs Brian's played and we get a cease and desist from the butthole surfers? You don't know this song yet?

Mikey got with Sharon and Sharon got Cherie and she was sharing Sharon's aleck on the top. You know this song? No, this sounds familiar. It's not to the chorus yet, right? I can honestly say I've never heard this in my life. They were drinking from a fountain that was pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain.

I don't mind the sun sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. They play that on like 90s rock radio constantly the band sounds like they sound like they love anal that's just to be clear though they aren't gonna be on the cruise i know okay unfortunately sorry to get your hopes up i shouldn't have done that but um um yeah i mean i was definitely in now i have to check my schedule out oh man but appreciate the appreciate the offer but out i'm in if we can go to the little debbie amusement park place oh the park on the way before we go on the cruise then i was i was gonna say when does the mls season start? Because I was just telling Claire I want to go see a Miami game

to go see Messi. No. Because Messi plays? I'm going to go pay $300 to watch an MLS game. Beat me off sideways. I can think of a thousand other things I'd rather be doing. Can we relax? What direction do you beat off? Normally.

Depends on the day, man. Verically? Okay. Beating me off sideways sounds like good. Not bad. No, it's like a bad angle. You know what I'm saying? If you're beating me sideways, when I say sideways, I mean more like

it's getting pulled towards my body. Against your body. That's not great. It's getting torqued a little you know what i mean we're talking yeah like and like a we're going like 3d plane here like it's getting pulled just straight along the x-axis like around you know

what i'm saying yeah yeah yeah that's a lot a lot of torque physics we were in these classes yeah fuck paying $200 to watch an mls game i mean i would say you saw the Messi. That's a very cool thing to be able to do.

I'm not going to spend $1,000 for it. Hold on. If I'm already going to Miami to get on a fucking cruise ship to see Creed for four days, you think I'm not just going to toss in a Miami soccer game to see Messi? That would be stupid of me not to go toss in a miami soccer game to see messy like that would be stupid

of me not to go see messy if there was a game well we're gonna talk about lumping all of these together and you're saying that that soccer game's expensive do you want to take a guess at the cheapest room for the creed cruise i'm sure it's absurd cheapest room i'll say cheapest cheapest i'll say how many people hold on how many people can be on this cruise do you know the number of rooms the capacity i mean i can total occupancy of the entire cruise ship i'll say 5 000 i don't want you to research stuff i'll say 5 000 cheapest oh actually uh average capacity of a cruise ship is 7,000 passengers. Jesus.

Does that change your number? They'll say $1,000 for the cheapest room. All right, Bob. Denise? Was this a per night? We'll go $999. Total. Here we go.

$999. Nice. $1,001. Total, I'm saying $5,000 then. Sorry. I was going nightly. You can change it afterwards. What is it? Price is right rules.

$1,800. Winner, winner, chicken dinner, bitches. Total. That's so much money. I thought it was going to be like $75. That's insane. $75 per night for a room on a cruise? yeah burn that's also

that's also absurd do you guys not remember how much our cruise cost to college? creed and fucking three doors down weren't performing on it what day would you want to go on the cruise? I don't want to talk about this anymore

okay we'll get into it. Tuesday. Hey, this is my music. Hi, boys. How do you get milk out of a crab? Give me milk now, mommy. Fat batches solve world hunger. Can I get this vagina animal style?

Bonnie is Wonderland. Either way. Fat matches. Solve world hunger tonight. I get this vagina animal style. Bonnie is Wonderland. Be the way. I'm sweater. Ow! That came as an orgasm? Wah, wah, wahoo! That's like an orgy, my guy. What's up, sluts?

The Olympics are a fraud. Your word is Reichstrabatism. Ew, you're gross. Anywhere close to my butthole, he is just eating right through it. Your bottom's off? Trying to low-key penetrate you with his... Hey, boo-boo. I shall not.-key I shall not

Try to have sex with a gun to the penis what you need brother white Jesus Welcome back to another episode of No One Knows That It's Wednesday, My Dudes. Special guest Denise is here. Welcome. The crossover event. The people keep wanting it. Had to update the music for it.

We have Corey. It's like the Jimmy Neutron and... Was it Jimmy Neutron and Fairly Oddparents crossover? Yeah. Rugrats Gone Wild. it yeah we have corey it's like the uh jimmy neutron and was it jimmy neutron a fairly odd parents crossover yeah robert's gone wild or like zoe 101 and uh drake and josh did they do one i don't think so in drake just drake shows up to his only 101 show drizzy yeah it would be kind of illegal but he likes them young uh we have rooks yikes um hi he does dude he's weird love that right before my intro man thank you i i didn't say you did we got rooks uh man it's hot in here this episode's bad already um i'm going first i saw oppenheimer

and it was 150 degrees in the movie theater if you show up to the movie theater and you're like oh it's kind of hot and you like look up to try to see if there's air conditioning blowing and you don't see any vents and it's just four fans like slowly moving in a movie theater one never seen an actual fan in a movie theater because you don't do that go ahead you sure it wasn't an immersive uh showing that was oh it definitely was the tension was high but we left and i like sprint out the door and i turn around for time i was like dude i was dying in there and the next person behind me goes man it was so hot in there and like runs away and the third guy walks out and guys so hot and we're all out there like doing this with our shirts just like all like

talking it up about how hot it was in there it's like it really made the movie worse that that's all we talked about leaving the movie theater was how hot it was but it was also three hours long great movie though for three hours long and i was sweating up a storm incredible movie like to see what you're reading when you had ac i know i might not have liked it as much man the tension was high i was ready to like leave like i was like itching to like get out and make that bomb go off um and then we got home and me and tom we were talking about the movie he's like yeah i just thought the bomb was gonna be bigger i was like tommy that's not it's not what you're supposed to take from this movie it's like the first one killed 70 000 people he's like yeah i

just thought i was gonna like destroy like all of like the continent or something i was like the continent of japan i mean japan is part of a continent so possibly um yeah i did not do much else it's so hot right now over the weekend and like air conditioning just doesn't exist yes cory have you tried the beach yeah but it's hotter at the beach. What? There's a breeze. That's true. But it's also hotter. It's literally five miles away, and if you look up the temperature there versus where we are,

no, it's actually colder in the ocean. It's definitely colder. I was going to let you work through that one on your own. I'm happy you got there quick. Other directions way worse. Does Denise sound like a robot to anyone else or is that just me speak hello hello yeah you sound like an alien oh no what do we do better better i know you're good we're good just make sure brian make sure to leave that in yeah oh i'm pull back i'm gonna

use that as the ai voice i've left so many things in. Every time we say I'm going to leave that in, I do. There's so many segments at the end of the podcast, the music plays and then fades out. And then one of you say something that I just leave in as like a random like Easter egg. So listen to like the entire podcast. It's very Taylor Swift of you. We'll catch like Corey saying some strange words. Me and her are very similar.

So thank you. Second movie slash TV show review of the week. Watch the TV show Silo. There's only one season so far. It's so good. I love a post-apocalyptic confusing mystery. Someone dies in every episode. It's great.

Spoilers. Watch it. Go ahead. Did you watch it from episode one or did you start at the end so great question thank you for asking thank you for asking just to clarify for the group uh i did halfway through episode two stop and check again just to make sure uh i've watched it correctly they do a lot of back and forth though it is really confusing like it starts like

it's one person on the main character and then like the next episode is a different person's main character and then the next episode is a different person's main character and if you watch them out of order i think it would still work because it's all over the place uh but yeah my streaming sites are a little bit better this time so you know life is just making sure uh i appreciate you looking out that's why you're here zach wouldn't do that exactly that would fuck that guy that i watched it out of order well he's off sorry you had to hear about this he's gonna listen to this on the toilet because he is sick this week uh my emojis

what's what there's a a movie reel thing probably and a tv because you know all i did was sit inside and watch movies and tvs so perfect love it would you get did you bring in uh food or and or purchase from the theater and if you brought in no um you committed a felony it's a a felony? There's no way. You didn't eat anything at the movie theater? That's a misdemeanor. Definitely not a felony. I smuggled in some gummy sour Skittles.

It's a good choice. If you like Sour Patch Kids, but you can't finish a pack because it destroys your mouth, do the sour Skittle gummies. They're actually pretty middle ground on it. They're great. How do Sour Patch destroy your mouth? The sugar. It's sour.

You're saying it's too sour. On the outside. Sour. Jesus. What? You're immune to Sour Patch Kids? That is so soft. Okay.

Sorry your tongue is stronger than mine, you big old man. I'm a big strong man. Big old man. I use Sour Patch Kids. They don't affect me at all. Without any milk. My weekend? Go ahead.

Friday night. Watched Oppenheimerheimer had a little uh another me friday night went out got a little panera sandwich right before saw abenheimer um did you smuggle it into the theater no i actually was running late so i went to the theater and didn't get anything or have anything with which felt weird but i didn't come out with a tummy ache which fast forward to saturday night and i saw barbie or sunday night and i saw barbie with claire and her sister had a tummy nice because i ate candy and soda but both great movies um and then saturday what did i do saturday uh the usual stupid, boring-ass shit. I was stuck walking Cooper, hanging around, and then Claire and I went

out to dinner and drinks, which was fun. Don't include that in the boring-ass shit. That was after the boring-ass shit. I got with fucking Claire, dude. It was so fucking boring, man. We had a fun Saturday night.

And then, yeah, we had like a... What did we do Sunday? We had a little Sunday fun day. Drank a little bit. Then went out to dinner. Drank a little bit. Then went to the movie. Then came back.

I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie wear. I need to see it. Really good. I mean, this Thursday. I know. The plan is that when Brian comes to town, they're going to go get their suits at Josue Bank, and then we're going to go see the Barbie movie. Mm-hmm. The pink suits.

Wear them to the movie. It's going to be great. It's going to be great. That sounds like a great girl's day. Yeah. I mean, it's a Ken's day. You got to fit in. There's two boys, so so you gotta be third Ken

I think Ryan Gosling is like low-key hilarious I feel like he's done a lot of funny movies recently he's my favorite part about the Barbie movie which is like meh Ken was your favorite part of the Barbie movie that's very sexist of you very feminist of you

his character good movie great lessons we can all take but I mean I'm very feminist of you. His character. Good movie. Great lessons we can all take. But, yeah, I mean... You're gonna get cancelled for that. Yeah, I'm gonna get cancelled for it. Did you listen to the beginning of the episode? Not about the... Yeah, okay.

We're excited. I'm gonna give the floor here to Denise because we did the exact same thing and she remembers this stuff better than I do so we're gonna for the first time

in family feud history family feud I'm gonna choose to pass instead of play we can do a little denise's pov rooks's pov um but we went to ocean city maryland this weekend and it was great it was great weather got a little beach in friday we got there um went to the beach and then we went to the airbnb thing about this airbnb is it was like in almost like an apartment complex. And we had like suitcases, we had a case of beer, the cooler, all of our beach shit. And the stairs in this place were the narrowest stairs. And we were on the third floor

to the point where like only one person go up at a time. So if someone's coming down while you're trying to get like lug all of your crap up up, it was a mess. It was so bad. And then when we got into the Airbnb, there was a spiral staircase to get to the bedroom and the bathroom. So not only did you have to get up the stairs, and after the beach, all you want to do is shower and lay down, and you're crusty. And then you have to hike all your shit. It was horrible.

It was brutal. Yeah, it was brutal. it was brutal um spiral staircase is pretty sick though it was pretty great i feel like if you kid you it was one and one like they look cool they're horrible but they you walk in and you're like this is cool like it's a such a cool look and then it's like a little triangle right because they're like small on the pole and they get bigger but this one was tiny it was narrow like tiny tiny steps so then it's just like now i'm even more stressed out just trying to go up goddamn stairs like there's a lot yeah so we did that then we went to um teddy rooks's friend

teddy's parents place because his mom was having girls weekend so it was like her and like seven women and we crashed girls weekend for a little bit so then it was like her and like seven women and we crashed girls weekend for a little bit so then it was like eight women me plus rooks um had a few drinks there and then we went to dinner got some ice cream watch the women's national team everyone should watch sport women's soccer um they won and then stomped out they did they play again when does this come out wednesday they play again oh they will this come out? Wednesday. They play again. Oh, they will have played already because they're in Australia. They played yesterday. No, they play

like, I think it's like 3 a.m. Eastern time Wednesday morning, this morning. Yesterday. My dudes. This comes out 1 a.m. Wednesday morning every single week. So they will be currently playing. Yes. So listen to this alongside go

in time that up exactly to make it work perfect you'll figure it out saturday can i get rooks's perspective on the women's night he had a great time oh yeah so so um me and uh teddy's mom and i were like this we're boys um and um she i was like texting her and i was like oh earlier in the day i was like oh hey like i knew it was her girl's weekend we had talked we had talked about this like months ago when i was a month ago when i was there with teddy and hickey um and she was like oh yeah no you guys definitely like come stop by for a drink whatever whatever and i walked in and it was just like, I mean, like, as the title says, it was it was a girl's weekend. Like I was the only man in the building.

Teddy's dad wasn't allowed there. Other husbands that I knew of these women were not there. And so I walked in and just immediately it was like, I'll have a drink. I'm not the entire time. Every other sentence was just like, I'm not trying to intrude on girls weekend, guys. Like, I'm so sorry. Like, I just wanted to say hello. Like, I'm not trying the entire time every other sentence was just like i'm not trying to intrude on girls weekend guys like i'm so sorry like i just wanted to say hello like i'm not trying to intrude they multiple times were like yeah denise like your d's can stay but like rooks like if you wanted to like leave like it was like very much like this is girls weekend oh my god there was one at one of the girls came in and she came in hot she was like i think like 41 or something and like her like marital

status came up and was just she was just like oh i am divorced as fuck right now and i was like i think that's probably my cue to like get the fuck out we should go to dinner i was like hey before dinner yes yeah that's impressive yeah that's when you give. Yeah. That's impressive. Yeah. That's when you give her Tommy's phone number. Just to come on, help the boy out. You know he's all about it. They look alike. They don't necessarily look alike. They're both just like...

They don't look like at all. They're like blonde hair. I don't know. Anyway. Friday basically was a big girly day between girls night and watching the women's national team um then we got up saturday went to the beach all day went to the boardwalk at night um did a little bar crawl start off with a casamigo shot just have had ourselves a little day um and then played mini golf i won i did not win god

abs i absolutely wiped the floor with this girl in my defense i was drunk i was drinking looks probably put out like a glove his golf glove for some reason even though you don't wear it when you put just i'm not gonna lie i feel like grip my grip is like uh i do i do intertwine grip with my pinky and i always feel i always feel like an asshole when i'm playing putt putt and i do my interlock grip i'm just like goddamn i look like such a dick you come out with a caddy like denise it's like who's this that's my caddy i just keep i keep putting the club up and getting down on my hands and knees, just looking down at the ground. You leave your ball marker down and keep picking it up.

I will say, though, Rooks, you know how at mini golf, they have the bucket of balls on the counter, and you pick your colored ball? I asked for a pink ball, and he handed me a purple one instead, and that was my downfall because he set me up. There was no pink in the goddamn thing was he french that went over my head

i don't know i don't get this brian works it's for me they don't it's fine uh i have to say the only time i've ever been given advice on how to play putt putt while playing putt putt was from rooks's dad otherwise everyone's just like hit the ball go ahead your feet aren't your feet aren't

straight I was like what are you talking about we're playing putt putt yeah yeah so if you want to hit a straight shot like this I was like okay okay man let's I'm in sixth grade let's go we we did do I was trying to do uh i was trying to show her a lot of the boardwalks so we kept stopping in places like having a drink go to the next place have a drink we got to dinner denise denise had the giggles man she was i needed dinner let's just say that i was like do you want to do another place like i think we should go to dinner and i was like yeah okay fine we'll go to dinner um but uh but yeah fucking killed it and pop up man i was hooping but the oh my god the worst thing the people in front of us

it was like these three fucking i think either college or late high school they were all playing through the whole one at a time so one would play it the whole way through and then the next one and they're they're not making it in two to four shots like all three of them are like seven plus like there was one girl she had a backswing like a up in the air backswing and i was like what are you doing i have never seen a ball out of bounds more in putt putt in my entire life than this girl this This girl, the first three holes, she was OB. I was like, what are we doing right now?

And then when they were done, they were standing on the green. You've never seen. Well, it was awful. They were the worst. Like the previous hole was green. Yeah, like we were ready to go. They were waiting then for the next hole,

but they were still standing on the hole that I'm trying to. They threw me off. That's why I lost. The way you phrased that made it sound like you were a to go they were waiting then for the next hole but they were still standing on the hole that i'm trying to they threw me off that's why the way you phrased that made it sound like you were a snob like they were still standing on the green and they were not out of the way of my lie of my ball well it's because she is a snob true fair rooks has never seen cory's grandma play putt-putt if he thinks so my aunt great aunt great aunt great aunt oh this lady there's a hole that was like sort of ramped up and she did the full backswing it went like out of the like area and into the like boardwalk what are we doing incredible she's like she's like 87 years old

it was great cory good time for her she's coming to the wedding she rsvp'd this week she's gonna be tuned up. How many shots can I feed her? She'll just probably have a bottle of wine in her hand the whole time. Respect. Corey, do you call it putt-putt or mini-golf? I say mini-golf. I say both.

Like a normal person. It really doesn't matter. I've never once in my life called it putt-putt. There's a difference, actually. Mini-golf like when it's like boring putts when there's like windmills and stuff shut up no because like mini golf is supposed to be

like a small version of golf where putt-putts like the cartoon version of it mini golf every all the clubs and the balls and the holes and everything are just smaller like that's all it is like easy bake oven it's like when easy bake oven. It's like when people have that little sand garden with a small little rake. It's like that. Yeah, on their desk.

But yeah, and then... That's so specific. Yeah. But then Sunday we got in the car. Well, we went to the beach and then we got in the car and made it home and Rooks didn't puke in a urinal on the drive back so it was a success nice i went i went back i went back the same way that i went the time before

literally just like in the background just burning burning i'm having vietnam flashbacks dude just literally sitting there like all of a sudden it's just like a black and white like film like closing in behind me and shit because I kept driving past I was like puke there puke there remember there's like one little field that had like a little indent off the road I was like remember puking there because that indent

looked very nice and it would fit my car and I had enough space to puke into the grass like it was so bad but we made it back old charlie that was the weekend it just reminds me of battlefield vietnam like the video game there's like you could put the radio on like the helicopter for some reason and there's always just like one song that was playing uh what's your emojis um my emoji is we'll do like all the beach ones i feel like it's standard every like type in beach into the emoji bar and like just click all of them that come up

i like it thank you same z's copycat hell yeah all right you guys want to get into some biology yeah i'm serious. Very enthusiastic. I'm just going to say the same thing as last week because I told you I was going to say the same thing as last week. No, it is hamster related, though, so I'm sorry. But there's a scientist named James Lovelock who performed experiments regarding cryopreservation, specifically of small rodents, hamsters. You're obsessed with freezing shit and he's a supervillain i'm just gonna say he's a supervillain based on his last name so love lock yeah i mean like dr love lock come on yes and he like sticks a bunch of hamsters onto you it's dr

strange rival or arch arch nemesis arch enemy whatever or his arch arch nemesis rival yeah all of it arch frenemy uh his work found that hamsters could successfully be revived with no adverse effect after having 60 of the fluids in their brain frozen but the way they revived them or thawed them was they put them in a microwave there's no way this is real because those hamsters hold on okay hold on there is absolutely no way that mr lovelock you're doubting hamsters in the microwave come on you just that is called a mister you just took away yes because that's fucking you know he's just putting hamsters in the microwave those things are going to explode i'm not gonna. Him having a microwave at home and instead of the popcorn button, he has a hamster button.

I will say, though, if someone who I was in, like, med school with, like, five-year reunion of college, don't know if that's a thing, but, like, we're sitting there and it's like, oh, hey, Dr. Lovelock, great to see you.

Oh, my God. That fucking guy microwaves hamsters, dude. He looks like he microwaves hamsters. If I was catching up with him and I was like, what are you doing in medicine now? It's like, well, so I freeze hamsters and I throw them in the fucking microwave and see what happens.

I'd be like, what? Excuse me? I'd be like, gotta go. Give me your degree. You didn't earn this. Gotta blast. Are they considering that, like, is that a scientific breakthrough?

Like, it sounds, up until the microwave portion of it. Right, what's the point? It sounded good. Also, another question I have. So you said they free 60% of the fluid? What, do we have only, like, part of the hamster's head in the freezer?

What are we talking here? Yeah, I don't get it What, do we have only part of the hamster's head in the freezer? What are we talking here? Yeah, I don't get it. How do we measure? Do we put a little meat thermometer into its head, wait for the temperature to get below freezing in one part? What are we talking about here? Yeah, because

if it's not part of the brain and it's the whole thing, but only 60% of it froze, then do you just only freeze for like 30 minutes and then thaw them again? Like what good is that? Unless they took out 40% of the fluid to start and then froze it. Oh. That's why I'm here. Is that better?

Hold on. Okay. I have two things. First off, they're just taking these little frozen icicles and just jamming them back into their skull. I don't think that's how that works. That's fair. But anyway, my brain went to this guy has a TikTok where he treats this like cooking videos.

He has the above camera and he has hamsters laid out and shit and he's just giving these little step by step instructions on how to freeze its skull and then microwave all right first step drain 60 of the brain fluid by stabbing it through the top right of its head do you think it's like a standard kitchen microwave i mean that's what me too i'm just i'm assuming it's like a gigantic one are there so it's like maybe are there microwaves that are specific for hamsters like an incubator the door is hamster shaped you go to like uh like uh sears or whirlpool's website there's like a hamster filter like for hamsters not for hamsters wait you know it'd be really fucked up if there was like one

of those hamster wheels and they were running but as they run it like powers the microwave so they're actually cooking the other one two two burtell and stone right there oh you're just torturing some poor hamster it's like if it's like i referenced it that now for obvious reasons i'm like those hamsters are definitely related i don't know why but it's like i referenced it that it was fucked up now for obvious reasons i'm like those hamsters are definitely related i don't know why but it's like you probably got him because they're probably a family right so he's probably like you got to spin on this wheel to to revive your brother this is also a psychology experiment too to see if hamsters will hurt each other or not yeah well and then they come back and it's only like whatever is left brain right brain one's

like super analytical he's just a very analytical mouse after a hamster afterwards because only the 60 was from the one side of the brain this is how dr lovelock gets all his angry hamsters to help him out and that's why they're all so smart now because he freezes half the other side of the brain i literally want to google how to freeze half of a hamster's brain but i think i'm just gonna get not helpful answers how long are they living when they come back to life that's another good question like it's probably not that is he just like oh yeah i put a sensor on their heart and their heart pumped again but then they exploded in my microwave like like there's in no way shape or form are these hamsters not exploding like there's no way around it i think they don't explode because there's a hole in their brain and that's where all the gas escapes that's like boiling inside like when you have to like poke a microwavable bag

oh my god this is so fucked up i'm gonna have nightmares about it I was going to say like a sweet potato dude you had to stab it with a fork a bunch of times. Oh my god, this is so fucked up. I'm going to have nightmares about exploding hamsters. I'm going to steam this hamster real quick. We're going to teach you how to cook a hamster today. Three ways. Boil them, mash them, stick them in a stew. I just like, did he like try to thaw a hamster and it didn't work or was he just impatient?

And he was like, it's been 20 minutes. Let's put the bad boy in the microwave. Blanch it real quick. Yeah. Yeah. Hard boiled. No, he was coming back from like work. He has two jobs now.

He was coming back from his first job, coming to the second job where the frozen hamsters were in the lab. And he called his lab partner. I was like, hey, take the hamsters out. They got a thaw. And then he came home. The guy didn't take him out. And he saw his car driving the driveway. He was like, oh, I got to thaw them real quick.

So he just threw them in the microwave like everyone else does. And then they were magically alive. And that's how they figured it out. He was actually just going to eat it. And he had it frozen in the freezer because he was going to reheat to eat. And then his roommate got petrified. And then he actually revived a hamster by accident and then what was his name dr love love something love lock love hamsters yeah love live love dr love lock right dr love hamsters live laugh love

hamsters live laugh love hamsters want to hear a crazy story about hamsters it's not gonna top it i got a good one too when i was growing up i had this friend and she had two hamsters and i thought it was either two boys or two girls turns out it was a boy and a girl and um they had little hamster babies and there was probably like 25 hamster babies and we were there at her house after soccer practice one day and they were like trying to figure out what to do with the hamster babies and um her there at her house after soccer practice one day and they were like trying to figure out what to do with the hamster babies and her little brother knocked over the cage and there were like 25 little baby hamsters running around

her house and they were finding them for like weeks. Like dead. That's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot. You just gotta throw them in the microwave. I know. Did it bring back to life? If only we knew now. Did you harvest 60% of its brain we didn't anybody again you live and you learn that's i mean when you that's all that's step one when

you take out the stouffer's hamster it says it right there hamster comes in the little metal tray pour some gravy over top of it make sure you lonely guy meal hungry man it's just hamsters imagine it comes like the powdered potatoes it comes as like a powder and you put it in the microwave and it turns into a hamster we're getting really

that's wild that'd be insane I'm reading more about dr lovelock uh because you should is he a professional wrestler i just thought about that great the greatest finisher in the history the lovelock the lovelock that's joking you off sideways yes full circle oh um so it was in the 1950s and the microwave didn't exist then so this dude was way ahead of his time so he made a magnetron based emitter to conduct these experiments and because

of that he may have accidentally invented the tabletop microwave oven when he discovered that it could bake a potato so he was putting is wrong with this guy dude way to bury the lead my guy you just told me you invented that microwave like that's huge i mean the the hamster thing's way cooler what is wrong with this person like also kind of fucked up that he didn't like complete his work i feel like by now if that was 1950 you should be able to revive hamsters with 100 of their brain and like not with a microwave do you know how much like at that time like burn what like when was this what year was this 1950 something like the brain power it takes at that time to like accidentally stumble on the microwave like this dude really wanted to throw some hamsters in those motherfuckers,

dude. That's not that long ago. He really wanted these hamsters to experience extreme heat. He fucking invented the microwave to throw hamsters in. That's absurd. Like you said at the very beginning, as soon as I said his name,

supervillain. Kind of fucked up. Isn't that like, oh oh i guess he's a doctor so he could just be behind the guise of like experiments but like you know serial killers like start off with just fucking killing animals and shit yeah yeah seems seems a little fucked like he was always just the weird kid in class. Killing hamsters in the clubhouse. He had a lot of questions about hamsters. It all checks out. This guy might have invented the humester thing we talked about last week

to be completely honest. I mean, definitely did. I mean, I can look at his Wikipedia citations and find out. he doesn't want these hamsters he doesn't want these hamsters fucking you just want some of the microwave dude i mean he only wants them fucking so he can have more hamsters it's just like solely one goal but it'll do anything to reach that goal. But yeah,

random, random, uh, my random hamster story. So a few weeks ago, I know, I know a person. Okay. A few weeks ago,

we have a big premium in my place. There were like three people here who were like, we were like a friend of a friend who didn't know all of us. And all of us know the story about our friend's hamster. And I like somehow this topic came up and I just, I said this story and I was like, Oh yeah, I know a girl who literally like to kill her hamster that had all broken

legs. She put it in the freezer and that was like the most humane way to do it. Like she looked up how, and these three girls, like I don't give any context to anything that's all i say these three girls are like you you know you know this person like they're your friend and i was like uh yeah i was like and i was like pretty drunk too i was like yeah no like she's cool like i mean like i don't know and then our other friend who's like good

friends with her she steps in it's like okay he left out tons of context but apparently like really like what happened was like the girl this is like when she was in high school she had a really like abusive ex-boyfriend and he like took her hamster and broke all of its legs which is like horrible like might as well throw it in a microwave at that point. But then obviously she had to put it down and she Googled what's the most humane way to do it and put it in the freezer.

I left all that out and just made her sound insane. The friend who told all the context pulled me aside at the bar and was like, you cannot just be saying that story without any of the context. You're going to make her seem like a psycho and I was like well like the shoe fits

you still put in a freezer man did she date Dr. Lovelock that's a good question that's a lot yeah that's a lot to digest on a Wednesday I just like never wanted to be a pet but like why would you want to break its

leg like they're so small like i don't know how you like decide that's what you're gonna go after i don't know like if it was me i would like free 60 of it's like like fluid in its brain and then throw it in a fucking microwave or something you think i'm reading the reddit comments on the article now and they're all really funny we didn't even mention about how it's going to be cold on the inside and hot on the outside because the microwave that's true this is a fucking hot pocket that's such an obvious joke holy shit how did we miss that one i don't know we were just on a roll just too ahead of our time, I guess.

Jesus. Ah, man. Yeah. That's really uncomfortable. I'm uncomfortable, I think, after that one. That's the word I want to use. I'm staying clear of my microwave for the next week or so. Can't even look in the direction of a microwave.

Or freezer. I might be taking a quick stop at pet smart and i ain't getting food for the dog if you know what i'm saying if cooper had 60 of a brain maybe i'd try it on him but he definitely does not so uh he's he's yeah he has like 25 of a brain i completely agree um this whole time i don't know if you've seen me peeking over my shoulder but i this is the first pod that I've had Indy in the room with me, and she was jumping at the mirror in the corner of my room

and just jumping into it. And I was literally terrified that I was going to hear a shatter and then I was going to turn around and my entire mirror was going to be on the ground. We're good there, but she's a fucking idiot. That's on you for bringing that other dog

in the room. She's obsessed with herself. She's a fucking idiot. But I love you so much. That Gen Z dog, man. I mean, what do you expect? If there's a mirror, she will get nose to nose. She loves herself.

She'll just stare at herself all day. I mean, that's good. Self-confidence. Sure. Come on. Teach them young.

Don't be such a sad millennial. We're trying to be on par with Gen Z and be really into ourselves. If I looked like her, I'd look in the mirror all day too. She is pretty cute. We could get you some hair growth hormone.

Sure. You know how they do like in Turkey turkey they do like the hair transplant i don't know why i said turkey yeah i was like isn't this a thing everywhere everyone goes to turkey because it's cheaper blah blah blah blah um could you do that like for your entire body like you know there's those weird people who like do like really crazy body modification i'm surprised someone hasn't done that like a real human furry chewbacca yeah i'm picturing chewbacca yeah or like bigfoot but don't you have to when they when they do the transplant aren't they like taking some of your hair and putting it up there yeah that's true like there's like slightly hairy everywhere they're gonna just keep fucking harvesting your hair for like a three-year period and then it's like it's time we have the numbers

for some reason every time i think about hair transplants i think about like when you like aerate your grass you have like all the holes yeah no it absolutely is that because they there's like photos of dudes afterwards and it's just like giant not giant like Bloody holes all over the top of their head. It's really gross. Okay, you gotta water it like a That's pretty good plenty of sunlight Played some music every once in a while. It likes to grow with that Like Beethoven? You don't want to fight in front of it.

You want to be nice and relaxed. Just like your chia pet you didn't want to do that either way. Stop fighting in front of my chia pet, guys. He's really fucking sensitive. I don't want him growing up with this trauma stop fighting in front of my chia but it's like the chia pet that's like bob ross would have like the afro it's like stop fighting in front of who's watching yeah i love that you can't fight in front of the chia pet bob ross we gotta end on that. We can't. Zach's not here, so Creed.

When dreaming, I'm glad to know the world time and time again. Creed. At sunrise, I fight to stay asleep. Because I don't want to leave the comfort of this place Cause there's a hunger longing to escape From the life I live when I'm awake So let's go there Let's make our escape

Come on, let's go there Let's ask and we'll stay Can you take me higher?