It’s Wednesday My Dudes - Ep. 17: Zak Loves Chuck D'Amilio

Episode Date: May 26, 2021

The boyos are back talking about our bugaboos of the week, we learn about how Ruxxs body is falling apart, Zak and Bryan debate Tim Tebow actually being worth anything in the NFL, and Zak answers our quick hitter questions from last week. Timestamps: 0:00:00 - 0:01:52 - Intro 0:01:52 - 0:30:27 - Our Bugaboos 0:30:27 - 0:44:46 - Ruxx is Washed 0:44:46 - 1:00:08 - Tim Tebow 1:00:08 - end - Zak Quick Hitters Follow us on Twitter @IWMD_Pod

It is Wednesday, my dudes. Zach says Hong Kong already you said Goosey, Hong Kong oh I didn't mean to do that and I hate myself for it we got Zaddy this week say hello Hong Kong Rooksy and Bguy hi

who comboed that time is my impression or accent good enough for that or does it need work? It sounded like you just hit the sound bite twice. It was really weird. I'm just a professional.

I'm going to be definitely the voice of a bunch of cartoons in the future, so look out. Alright. You have a bright future ahead of you,rian well so so i did mention we're gonna keep it loosey-goosey so we've got hong kong so we've got our topics of choice are gonna be bugaboos of the week uh i believe we also we're gonna talk about tebow and then what was the third thing i already forgot Me being a washed motherfucker?

Oh yeah, but we all feel that way. All of us feeling like we're washed up because we're in our upper 20s. The being washed segment is definitely going to be occurring very often now that we've talked about it once because there's so many things now

that I think of where all that's going through my head is, holy shit, I'm washed. So that's probably going to be a reoccurring segment on this, on this pod. Confirm, can confirm.

Oh, why the fuck? Thank you. I haven't burped on the podcast before. Headphone users, apologies. All right. So let's get into it. I'll start us off with the,

with the bugaboos of the week. And obviously I'm going to direct it at zaddy. All right, so let's get into it. I'll start us off with the bugaboos of the week. And obviously, I'm going to direct it at Zaddy. So I go on a trip. I'm flying. And I have a little layover out in Chicago. Now, we didn't eat because it was a three-hour flight. And we'd been in the airport for like four hours.

So we're hungry. What's the first thing you're going to go for when you go to a chicago airport anyone pretzels anyone hot dogs hot dogs no deep dish get out of here with your hot dogs so dumb we go through there no deep dish why would you why would you label your city as like the deep dish place and then just not have it as the first location that you go to when visiting the city can you tell me why do you ambassador of chicago can you tell me why do you act like the airport is the food mecca of a city like i'm lucky it has a mcdonald's and a burger king and like i'm happy if it has that or the hudson's travel store has a bag of peanuts. They all have restaurants.

They all have nicer restaurants too nowadays. They're not just like a bus terminal you blow through and get out. Especially, I'm not saying they have to be five-star deep dish pizza. If you want to have your own little McDonald's make a little personal deep dish pizza, I don't know how they'd finagle that one. Just do it. McDonald's all around the world they have certain specific things for certain areas brian can confirm it so like why not do it for chicago i don't think a mc pizza would be a good idea but like i'll try it

it's an idea it sounds i'm just saying awful we're just we're just you know a normal restaurant like they have them there i got a i got a personal pizza that was not a thick boy but that's how i won where'd you go because i audience viewers out there i did give him recommendations because i had to look up the midway airport schedule you know food court options for him i offered him two suggestions call back to call back to our other episode man he definitely went to sabaro 110 percent no i went to i went to home plate what right home home run in home run is good sure home run i did give you an authentic i did give you a chicago style it was the italian beef pizza it had italian beef and jardiniere on it it wasn't a deep dish but i thought that would give

you an authentic chicago experience and you decided not to go that one you decided to go to home run which is also okay but it's more of a fro like chicago's frozen pizza type of deal so the reason i feel like there's not a deep dish again do you know like a deep dish is like made it takes like 45 minutes to an hour to make so like unless we're in the airport when your mom and dad wants you at the airport you know like eight hours ahead of time to make sure you don't miss your flight you don't have time to sit down for a deep dish pizza unless you have a long layover. Okay, true. So I feel like that's 20% of people. The other aspect of it is I think they're doing us a service by not serving deep dish pizza.

That is a lot of dare to be shoving into your body. I disagree with this. I disagree with this. I get so – this is – I don't know. It's like Thanksgiving, right? I'll get so sleepy if i have that much food in my body it's guaranteed i'm passed out i'm a dead body on that flight yeah but you're a dead body but you're a dead body next to a stranger at least one stranger that sounds eating

a fucking deep dish pizza before a flight it's a literal death sentence for whoever is sitting next to me on a flight if i think that well our person is going to die they will be they work they're gonna they're gonna have a bad time i'll tell you oh that's all i'll say about it they're gonna have a bad time or idea rooks the next time you go on a flight you do that and then you either one tell people as they're looking for seats i'm lactose intolerant and i just ate deep dish pizza an entire deep dish pizza i'm a walking sit next to me i'm a walking time bomb can't say that on a flight time time explosion nope can't say anything like that not at all i saw an article today there literally was a flight that got

turned around because someone took such a stinky dump in the bathroom that they had to stop the flight turn back around make an emergency landing and like evacuate but what is it look it up oh like why i why are you gonna terrify me like that man did they just get that they were like we need to stop now like how do they even fix that like air out the plane what do you mean when the pilots start puking from the uh smell it's probably not a good sign i am literally i'm i have a flight to austin at the end of june now i am fucking terrified because that's gonna to be like, like the flights I've been on the last couple of years

have all been like 45 minutes to like an hour and a half. I've done these really short flights. A flight to Austin, now I'm genuinely scared of that we're just going to be, we're going to land in like Oklahoma or something and have to like

drop the plane down or something. I'm so scared. Well, no deep dish pizza beforehand. beforehand also just don't get chipotle or a giant breakfast burrito with like extra extra cheese on it like you do this with them fucking assholes man people try to kill me um do you guys i've never actually had deep dish pizza can you can you zach as a chicagoan can you explain to me the the layering of it yeah so i don't i'm gonna offer yeah so before i get to the layering i want to say that deep dish pizza i don't want i'm on a crusade to say deep dish pizza should not be chicago's like claim to fame

in terms of pizza we have better what we call like tavern style pizza that it's thin crust but it's cut into squares so uh and it's it's super thin and you just like pop in your mouth like candy and that's the stuff like that's the stuff i get every friday i get deep dish maybe maybe like once every three months something like that it's not like on my regular cadence because i would die i would my intestines would clog up and I would die. But yeah, in terms of the – I mean, it's still good. Don't get me wrong. I love it and I love taking visitors, tourists there, whatever.

So all right. So the layering is you go crust on the bottom. Yes. Then – Interesting. That's crazy. Crust. Well, you asked me to go through it. I get you.

I know. Could you imagine if he said cheese on the bottom and like Rooks' face? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm trying to explain this for all our blind viewers out there. They have never seen a pizza. Blind viewers. Yeah.

Perfect. So it's crust on the bottom. Then I think the crust on the bottom, then they put the cheese on next. Then it's, yeah, it's like slices of mozzarella. So it's not like shredded.

It's, it's slices of mozzarella. Then they do sausage or like like your top then your toppings and then they do tomato sauce on top and then you bake it in the oven it's like it takes like 45 minutes to an hour and then you just pop that sucker out the some places and i don't like the way they do this sometimes it'll go you know crust cheese toppings they'll do another layer of crust and then they'll put sauce on top of it it's called stuffed pizza that's i don't i don't like that i think it's a it's a pie yeah it's too much crust uh giordano's does that i'm not a big giordano's guy shout out lumonatis that's my spot and rook sometimes people top it with a bottle of aquafina i heard so

but yeah so that's that's the standard layering again it eats more it's a bottle of aquafina i heard so just pour a bottle of water on top of it but yeah so that's that's the standard layering again it eats more it's definitely more of an event meal than it is which is why it's not at the airport because everyone wants to get out of the airport and no one wants to spend more time there than they have to so they're like we're not going to serve deep dish pizza here also in pittsburgh they don't like if we want to get into rooks's complaints pittsburgh doesn't have like There's no Primanti Brothers in Pittsburgh. Where's all their Pittsburgh food? Where's all the...

There's a TGI Friday's with pierogies, and I prepped that response knowing you would say that. Wait, wasn't... Where's the first P-Man's? The first P-Man's is down in Strip District. We didn't take you there. It's in Pittsburgh, though, right? Yeah.

Wait, was Zach saying there wasn't a P-Man's or was he saying they don't serve Pittsburgh food at P-Man's? I don't know, but I don't pay attention. In the airport. In the airport. There's no Pittsburgh food in the airport. There's that weird statue of... There's that weird statue of Franco Harris that you

tap his butt as you're going up the escalator or whatever. Franco! Down the escalator. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I get... I got a bugaboo with Pittsburgh this week that I would like to

share and air out. Drove, visited these two ugly mugs, Bryguy and C-Word. Yes! It was a very easy drive until you get in the city and you have to deal with the fucking tunnels oh my fucking god dude literally before the tunnel stop traffic people aren't moving you get in the tunnel everyone's going 20 you get to the other side and it's wide fucking open

you get to the other side and it's it is every street that has been street raced on in every fast and furious movie where it's just oddly there's no cars you get to the other side why the fuck are we stopping it's it is infuriating i you can tell by my by my tone i don't handle traffic very well there is a tone in your voice there is no but i do not handle traffic well but i really don't handle it well when there's no fucking purpose for it. There's an accident. There's a truck flipped over. People dead in the road.

Okay, yeah. I'll add 20 minutes onto my trip. Okay, fine. But we're going through a tunnel and you just can't drive the fucking speed limit. And that's why 40 minutes got added onto my trip. Dog shit. And there's not one tunnel there's like 15 of them there's just all over the fucking place you go tunnel to tunnel to tunnel it's insanity it's the worst they need a better system they just need a better system to to build off the pittsburgh driving thing the pittsburgh left i just love how they it's like oh it's a pittsburgh thing and it's like no you're just breaking the law casually i didn't find it

as common law thank you zach that's and it's not it's not like specific to them i did i learned when i learned to drive that's what i learned yeah well what do you think of pittsburgh left is rooks because i think isn't it i thought it was when you're turning left and it's one of those yield left so you don't have the arrow but it's green and you pull out're turning left and it's one of those yield left. So you don't have the arrow, but it's green and you pull out. So that way when it's turning red, you can go opposite. Go ahead.

No, I was gonna say, isn't it when it both turned green and you're in the left-hand lane, you go and you just go, you immediately turn left, right? Yeah. You just zip in front of everyone.

Cause it's illegal. That's why you're confused. Cause you're like, what is this? It's not something you should be doing. Oh, that's why you're confused because you're like what is this it's not something you should be doing oh that's awful no you know what you know what the best is uh when you one going on crusades like zach's talking about about his chicago thing my crusade of pittsburgh when i first moved here and still and trying to you know gain some following is to not do it one and also just like back up traffic because

of it because you'll get honked at like you'll get flipped off by not doing it and i'm like i'm not jumping in front of oncoming traffic just because you guys deemed it's a thing it's the worst thing i've ever seen i hate it it's dumb but lights, they'll let you do it. People hesitate when lights turn green and let the first person go. Which is even more confusing. It's really stupid. Because it's a game of chicken where it's like, just go. Hold the fuck up. Can you explain this one

more time to me? Now I'm overthinking it and now I'm so fucking lost. So you're at a stoplight and there's people across on the other side of the road also at a stoplight and there's people across on the other side of the road also at a stoplight coming opposite you so they're going from where you came yes both lights are red okay now you want to take a left both both lights turn solid green there's no left answer oh and they zoom in front of the other side because they're like oh i got the jump on it? Yeah. That's psychotic. That's so fucking stupid.

It's Vin Diesel stuff. It's Massive Furious. La Familia. Hit the knobs. What the fuck? That's terrifying. It's really bad. They'll do it across two or three lanes of traffic, too,

just because they can get away with it. Oh, my goodness. Pittsburgh drivers are not super aggressive like DC. I know DC drivers are crazy, but it's just because they're really like, that's places to go. So they'll cut in front of everyone. Pittsburgh drivers just not good.

I think they just make up rules and they're like, that's a Pittsburgh thing. They're like, that's not. I'm going to generalize this, you know, stir the pot even more. I think PA drivers in general are just, they're brutal in a sense that

they're all just no they're they're not speed they're not trying to get anywhere 90 percent of the time they're just you know they're just cruising through the mountains might pull over here and hunt like no it's just like they're going so slow the amount of because the amount of times i've driven from Maryland to Penn State is so many times. 99 is the last one to get there. I think it's 70 miles an hour.

I go to 80. I used to be a psycho and go 100 plus. I go 80 on it. There's people going 60. Do you not have anywhere to be? Why are you on the highway?

Where are you going? What's your end game here? I feel like rooks would thrive in New York City. Just push everyone over and just be right in the crowd, just power walking everywhere. No, I think DC is a great medium because DC isn't as packed. It's still confusing and kind of a mess, but New York City is an absolute clusterfuck. I would never drive in that city.

The last time I was leaving New York City, I was so, so deathly hungover. Rachel was just looking at me as I was holding a bag to my mouth and driving through the streets of New York City and puking in it because I was in the worst shape ever. And I'm like cutting people off. I'm doing the classic New York honk, even though no one's moving or anything. And I'm just puking in a bag. Like it was, it was an experience. That's when you try a Pittsburgh left. Yeah, exactly. Except they don't know what that is in New York and they just hit you because it's illegal and you're driving into oncoming traffic. And then after you guys, in classic New York fashion, after they hit each other, both people start honking at each other.

That's the end of that. Honk, honk, honk, honk. Yikes. I'm going to try to sneak that into this episode as many times as possible. I think we're at three or four already. All right, Zach, what's your bugaboo of the week? My bugaboo or gripe of the week

is that seltzers stink, and I'm mad it took me this long to realize it. That is a hot take right there. They are all bad. They are all bad. White Claw might be the worst. White Claw is terrible.

Truly, I had citrus punch Truly on Saturday. What kind of cracked out juice box is that company churning out? It's like in a green Oscar the Grouch can. It looks like a – it just looks like a legal Four Loko, like a less fun Four Loko. Have you tried like – is it – Truly is coming out with like the hard-hitting one and bud light was too where it was like higher percentage of alcohol i think multiple are i think multiple ones are doing heavier alcohol yeah it's like the bud light platinum seltzers i had one of those those also were i mean those were slightly better because it was again closer to a four loco so it got you know

it got me you know eight percent right to the dome type of thing. There's also just too many of them. The market is oversaturated with seltzers. There's Michelob Ultra Seltzer. There's Truly. There's Cutwater. I mean, there's just like two. The only one that I like, it's not seltzer, is High Noon.

Shout out to High Noon. Sponsor the pot. Yeah, High Noons are fucked. Those things go straight to your fucking head. They're so, they hit hard. Well, it's because it's vodka it's straight vodka and so i'm like heard yeah so i heard anything that's anything that's an actual hard liquor with like real juice i think there's like the mamitas too which is like tequila and you know real juice anything that's um that i'm cool with anything that's made with malt liquor i'm just i'm out it just has it

just tastes like medicine at the end it has that weird like diet coke taste or diet pop taste at the end and it's just not good that's a pro my friend i am out on i would rather drink huh it tastes like soda that's a pro tastes like pop yeah it tastes like diet soda specifically yeah okay diet pop so anyway seltzer is bad and i'm gonna drink i would rather drink a vodka water over a seltzer that's my yikes so i don't drink alcohol but sparkling water is garbage and everyone loves it and i hate it i had one this weekend because like it was at aldi i was like that sounds great it was like strawberry pineapple whatever the hell it's it tastes i don't know where i had this but it's yeah pineapple's great i feel like that would be a bad

one but sparkling water tastes like someone ate that fruit flavor and then burped in your mouth it's disgusting like it's such the faintest amount of flavor that, like, it's so... Yeah, I was gonna say it's a little extreme, but no, I think that's pretty spot on. It is. If this is someone else that fucking hates seltzer water, like, the flavored seltzer waters, I think they're dog shit.

I don't understand why people like them. It doesn't taste better than regular water. Give me ice water over that, and I'm way much happier. Some people like the... They just like just like the like carbonation with it but i don't i don't care as much about that the flavoring is just not not there it's just you guys like sparkling water just like plain sparkling water no not generally no okay thank you i don't know why people are into it it just tastes like salty water sort of and like it doesn't yeah have you ever had like actual sparkling yeah like they add salt to it oh my and then there's the bubble so it's like it there's quote unquote flavor but it's

freaking disgusting so i don't know how the europeans do. Is that a European thing? It's gross. It's like an everywhere except America thing. I'm so not fucking cultured. In Peru, you had to ask specifically not for... What was it called? Sin gas. Yeah, sin gas. Sin gas. Same with everywhere in Europe.

I mean, I know Brian doesn't drink. Rooks or Corey, do you have any strong... I mean, like, is you pro-Seltzer? You pro-hard Seltzer? I'm – like, if I'm trying to slam them back and it's, like, a nice day out, yeah, I'm pro-Seltzer because I don't get as, like that's classic, like football tailgate is like slugging the beers and like passing out at the tailgate or in the stadium, which is like, that's good. I like that for nostalgia purposes. Fantastic. But if I'm at the beach, like if I do that, I'm going to get sunburned and die out there. Like that's not as much fun.

So I like the seltzers because they keep me going a little bit. But I mean, like I'd still reach for a beer before i grab those but i still don't mind them well some of the sweet tooth guys so rooks i know you're uh seagram's right out of the bottle chasing it with some like dr pepper seven up or whatever all right so when it comes yeah when it comes to drinking well like if you're talking drinking liquor i can i like it i like it out of the bottle first i don't like doing shots because if i'm taking sips of it i can control more of what i'm how much more i'm drinking if i do a shot like the consistency of the pour is meh so i i like swigging out the bottle but that's besides the point i like um i used to when

seltzers first started popping i mean you saw me at firefly firefly the one day we had white claws i was crushing them because i was they're just the change of pace from drinking warm natties outside to a nice cold seltzer it's a it's night and day you know taste great. But the king of stomach issues over here, if I drink too many of them, it ruins my stomach and not like I have to go to the bathroom. Wait, it's just like it's pain. When I was on my golf trip, the last course we played, all I drank was because the last day we played 36 holes. So the second course we played, I'm exhausted. I don't want to fucking golf anymore.

I'm just I'm so beat. I drank, I drank like, I think in the first four holes, I drank three to five high noons. And then I had four to five white claws the rest of the round. We left and my stomach was just tearing itself to shreds and not, not even not like an i feel sick way like i'm in physical pain way so after that i've been very hesitant on touching seltzers and i just it's kind of the way it is with all drinks for me i don't like um at bars i don't like mixed drinks with soda because the sugar it does kind of the same thing so yeah i don't i don't really i don't do sweet things when it comes to drinking boo it's not not my thing vodka waters vodka waters i mean gin and tonics baby

gin and tonics i feel like that was mike's advice to you like six years ago it was like just get alcohol with like a little bit of what something on top no sugar at all and that's the move probably should have been listening hot shout out hot mike dude shout out hot mike we love hot mike we can get into that whenever kristen makes an appearance on the episode because that's her origin story to tell her origin story i don't like that you said that you got a first kristin the first adventure movie oh man all right before we transition to brian's we're talking about pineapple if you guys were all fruits you guys would be fine apples brian what's your kick him off where's my boo noise at?

There we go. Dude, just play the outro. We're done here. Rah, rah, honk, honk. Now I'm really fucking done. Is that four or five honks now? Gross. All right, my bugaboo.

Get the honk counter. Oh, there's the booze. Sorry. You booed yourself, Brian. It froze and then it was just waiting for it to come back. For the viewers, we're broadcasting this to live studio audiences, but it's through Zoom, so

there's a slight delay to their reactions. We apologize. And they always sound the same when they boo. Yeah. They're trained really well. We've got to figure it out. So, my bugaboo for the week i saw this a couple weeks ago so it's not necessarily recent but it still deserves to be frowned upon i was on the bachelor subreddit because i'm bored at my job and just like kind of try to not do work as

much as i possibly can came across an article or a post or i don't know some comment that someone was saying oh this one contestant now has the only fans i was like gross who is it victoria f from last season queen victoria has the only now that's the least fucking surprising thing ever it's gross i'm not surprised but also boo she i mean let's be real she was trying to advertise the goods the whole time she was on the show. Let's be real. Advertise something better, man. Is it a full... Only Only fans? I was not

curious enough. Zach is going to have my hand out to bust. Zach, why do I hear so much typing coming from your mic? How do you spell Victoria? We threw out his name! No, I did not dig in further to figure out if it's explicit or whatever it is. Complicit.

Don't act like you don't have an OnlyFans account, man. You're just sitting there simping. It's going to be in the bio of the episode this week, so our fans can go straight to it. Free preview, $5 a month afterwards. Yeah. I'll send you a personal message. Hashtag ad.

That would be so amazing. Victoria reaches out to us. Hey, guys. Can you advertise my OnlyFans on your podcast? Abso-fucking-lutely we can. Bro, so there's this MMA fighter. He's a guy who has OnlyFans, but he just uses it as Twitter. It's just like a social media account.

He doesn't post anything on it, and you don't have to pay for it. Brooks, it's Diego Sanchez. What the f- That man's a psycho, too. That man is an absolute psycho. Notorious, insane fighter. And just makes sense that he would have an OnlyFans for no freaking reason. But yeah, so don't go check out that OnlyFans.

That's my advice for the week. No, I've had this conversation with some of my other friends before. If I could make money off OnlyFans, like selling feet pics or I would do it 100% no one would just buy it so I'm not going to put like content out there that no one's going to buy I don't know that until you do it yeah it sounds like you just haven't tried yet sir for the love of the game Zach's like I have these feet pics

on my phone that's burning a hole what do I do with these guys if I was a girl are there women who like guys' feet pics? Is that a popular community? I'm sure it is. You're asking a lot of people who know about it.

At this point in time, you can name anything and I'm sure somebody gets off to it. Let's be real here. Soaking. I'm not saying think of soaking a loaf of Wonder Bread and warm milk

and someone sticking a banana in it that I can definitely picture that existing I 100% could picture that existing you just have to go to like the black hole like reddit or something i'm sure

you'll find it warm milk reddit or warm milk oh i'm disgusted every time we start this podcast i'm in a good mood you know i'm feeling good and then we get halfway through and there's so many things that i hear through my headset that just makes me like shrivel up inside a little like that victoria has only fans and that's fine she's on her grind it's no my thing is what's the difference between her doing only fans and all these other contestants doing these shitty hashtag ads for products and no one's ever gonna buy because one i don't want to see in, I don't want to see, and one, I don't want to see even more. But the thing is, the ad

where they're selling bullshit, no one wants to fucking see that. There are definitely going to be people that want to see her OnlyFans, let's be real. Just because she's not your cup of tea doesn't mean she's not everyone's cup of tea. It's fair. Someone likes her.

Someone. Probably the same person that likes watching Wonder Bread be poured into a giant cup of milk with a banana get stuck into it. Don't go back at it. Warm milk. Warm milk Reddit. You microwave it afterwards. I'm just, all right, let's move on. I'm getting queefy.

You're getting queefy? Queezy. I tried to say queefy, but now I'm not queefy you're getting queefy? queefy I tried to say queefy but now it does sound like I'm saying queefy guys back it up let's get out of here is a queef controlled? is that something that can be controlled?

we should ask a caller and where can they tell us this yeah in the description of every episode there's a link no one's gonna tell us but if you really want to give us that much information send us a voice message why just why absolutely oh next week's episode is gonna be great uh brooks you you wanted to talk about something about this past weekend and how you now feel old.

The us being washed segment. My experience this past weekend, me and the boys, we went to Topgolf. We had a little TG action. My golf game, it's been struggling. We started taking some swings,

you know, taking some cuts. I was swinging as hard as humanly possible in golf. A lot of times you think you just need to swing harder and that's going to make the ball go farther. It's false. It's wrong. It's going to fuck you up. Shout out to that's a tip. That's a free tip for all you golf listeners out there okay um anyway we have two audiences golf listeners and then people who can queef that's it and the warm milk community oh sorry you know what okay you know what that venn diagram is it's all one circle baby it's literally not a venn diagram oh we need merch we need merch anyways

so anyways i went to top golf i'm taking i'm taking super heavy swings and after like my third swing i go to get down in my stance and i feel my back i feel like my back is i just pulled something so i'm hunched over and i like can't get out of my stance for a few seconds. And then I waddle back to my chair at Topgolf and I sit down and I'm just in pain. I got my hand on my back. And me having my hand on my back after taking a golf swing and pulling something in my back made me feel like i was 98 fucking years old like that is the oldest thing there's people that play golf people play golf is one of those sports people play forever if i fucking yurking my back at fucking 27 i'm in

trouble i'm in big time trouble and i don't think i've ever felt more washed in my entire life that was it was eye-opening it was great to see you look like an old fart and you were not kidding you're like i think i pulled something and then you're like every time you stood up you're like oh my back you get down and pick up a ball you're like oh my back well and then to to compound on top of my uh on top of my holding my back and back pain making me look washed i did the classic old guy every time i sat down i'm going slow and i just go and i like moan and groan about it like you're getting in a hot tub yeah it's i'm i'm 97 years old for the viewers i'm 97 years years old apparently. It was not good.

Not a good time. You just started yawning at kids at your lawn. You're just slowly becoming Jeff, man. It's going to be great. Absolutely not. One day you're going to buy a bicycle and be wearing the little Speedo spandex pants. You're going to ride with your parents. I refuse to bike ride.

My parents all the time ask me, would you ever be interested in coming on a bike ride with us all the time try like ask me like oh would you ever be interested in coming on a bike ride with us it's like i love you guys fuck no absolutely not i will not get on a bicycle for they do like they do 100 mile bike rides yeah why that's a lot are you training for the tour de france no you're just going on a 100 milemile bike ride? I'm fucking out, man. I'm so out. Yo, 100 miles is no joke. Yeah. For bikes, you can go really far without it being a problem.

But like 100 miles is a lot. 100 miles at like 7 a.m. on a Sunday. Yeah, fucking right. Does it make you feel older if they're doing that and their backs don't hurt at their age? Oh, absolutely. It's even worse worse it's even fucking worse man just at the more and more we're going to talk about it the worse and worse i'm going to fucking feel it's painful well yeah he's falling apart y'all have any wash moments this weekend not this weekend but a week ago I woke up and I couldn't turn my head to the left. And so

my setup at work, I have two monitors. One's right in front of me, one's a little bit to the right, and then I have one all the way to my left. And the one all the way to my left is my unclassified computer because I work classified stuff. Can't say more than that.

Oh, I'm telling. Would have to kill you the computer that i actually want to stare at that has like twitter on it's to my left so i couldn't actually turn and look at it so i'd like move my entire body all the way to the left so everyone saw that like i'm not actively not doing work right now because i'm staring 90 degrees to the left side because i couldn't turn my head you should you should wear one of those neck guards that like the 90s linebackers would wear those things are sweet just wear it to work cowboy collar put it over your put over your cowboy collar that doesn't that's gonna help you look

preventative it's preventative in case somebody tries to you know run him he's his neck his neck won't snap in case in case you're going head up with someone at work and you're trying to take him down you know i think you know i think you should steer clear of the cowboy collar on the way of the bathroom we do oklahoma drills every once in a while they just throw a ball out one of us the other one has to try to tackle him it's active office we like to have fun it's classified how much you think a cowboy collar costs i'm gonna look one up on amazon right now are we gonna play are we gonna do prices right right now let's do prices ones probably like i'll say 70 but like average probably like 50 i'll go 45 dog it's your neck what are you huffing at 15 bob

what did my neighbor guess what am i 16 bob dang it uh we can find it amazon basics yeah cowboy collar on amazon the amazon's choice douglas adult football butterfly restrictor black 80 and 36 cents oh let's go get fucked that's hard find a cheaper one those things you know this let's let's buy something to protect our neck but we're gonna get the cheapest one possible bro everyone who had those was like the biggest like weenie on my football team false on my team is different than yours but on my team it's so fucking false if you had one of those on i'm like thinking back anyone that wore that thing in my high school, like football career, was people you stayed the fuck away from.

They're the people that when you're in line for hitting drills, you're trying to switch with people in line. You do the count. You do the count. Yeah, so you don't end up going one-on-one with them. You're like, no, I'm fucking out. There's this kid on my team. It was only one kid who had it his name was joe williams

i'll call him out because he sucks joe will fuck you you just the reason those people wear that it's either because yeah they could hit really hard and they just level people or they don't know how to hit and just spear people with their head and obviously just like duck their head too much and need that to like protect themselves from snap of their neck and half he was the one who would just snap his neck in half so the third reason just makes you look huge i feel like if you're cory's cory's height you put on a cowboy collar you look like six five like three whoa take it easy fuck it you two are scheduling it right now burn and joe williams are gonna box and you guys are the undercard okay You guys are the opener for it.

I got to fight Joel from my middle school team as well. I got a lot of beef with people. I'm going to eat a whole bunch of deep fish. Get my weight up. It could be Corey and the Sbarro social media team versus me. We would crush you. How many rounds of Sbarro could

Zach take if there were no weapons? How many waves of sabaro could zach take if there were no weapons i was about to say how many waves of sabaro employees do you think if we did that we would have like sabaro would be able to i don't know do like a deep dish pizza to promote like that week i think they would do that if they're already signing up to the whole pr team to fight zach with me i feel like that's a short sell we need the ring girls to walk around with me. I feel like that's a short sell. We need the ring girls to walk around with pizza boxes with the round number on it. It'd be perfect. Everything's just pizza themed.

Triangle shaped ring. We have to make sure too we get the most possible random acts in between each fight. Charlie D'Amelio, definitely make it an appearance. Chuck. It's always funny. Oh,'amelio let's get charlie d'amelio oh. My boy Chuck, dude. You don't know Chuck? We go way back.

It'll be a triple threat of Charlie's. It'll be, or Chuck's. It'll be Chuck D'Amelio, Chuck Brown, and give me a threat. The Chuck Angels. And Willie, or Chuck in the Chocolate Factory. Chuck's Angels. Is this in a boxing match, or is is this a performance i don't know it's to it's to win a chocolate factory yeah steel cage match it's hell in the cell brother yeah oh that'd be sick no it's got to be like the elimination chamber where like four people are

in the pods and then oh yeah fighting and then eventually like everyone comes out of the pods that'd be yeah oh or like a royal rumble style just set like a different chuck comes down the ramp every time that would be so sick we got a lot we have a lot of work to do we have a lot of people to talk to royal rumble is typically like 30 people we gotta feel we gotta feel this card we could get more famous charlie's charlie day from uh always sunny Definitely a wild card. Chuck Sheen. Oh, another one. Huge wild card. Chuck Barkley.

There are a lot more Chucks out there than I thought. There's probably a King Chuck in England or something, like King Chuck II. Oh, yeah. Easily. Oh, we can get a King Charles Spaniel, just a dog we can get chuck liddell i mean that one just works

i think he might win though so that might be a problem hey well we'll make some calls hey if you guys if you viewers get get Charles Dickens, Charles Darwin, you know who you need to national anthem? Chuck Puth. Chuck Puth. It's the same punchline, but it's funny every time. I know why this keeps making me laugh,

because it's just the same thing over and over again. Chuck Woodson could make an appearance. Oh, true. Chuck Oakley. Are you just on a list of famous Chucks?

Chuck Oliveira, he's the lightweight champion of the UFC right now. Oh my god, go fuck yourself. Chuck Chaplin. Oh, wow. How did it come in painted black and white and just like making funny skits the whole time yeah how did we get here again like no we're washed we're washed i'll bring it back i'll bring it back uh can you backtrack us though like i want to see how we actually got here traverse how we got here yeah can you list the Chucks in reverse order as to how we just listed them and take it all the way back?

So we're Chucks, Hell in a Cell match. Chuck D'Amelio. You guys boxing. Us boxing. Oh, Zach being mean to me. Classic. Zach being cowboy collar. There we go. Because Corey put on a cowboy collar.

Teams in football. Gotcha. Yeah. Joe Williams, your friend Joe Williams. And we're fighting Joe Williams. There it is. That's how it goes. Okay, there we go.

All right. And we're back. And we're back. Do you remember the cowboy collar conversation got me thinking about it? Do you remember all the pads I used to wear on my arms when we played football? Yeah, I think I do. Do you want – all this is this is a treat for the viewers okay fifth grade me little chunk boy playing offensive line in football first off i wore i didn't have contacts yet i wore fucking rec specs under my fucking yeah baby love it i did too i did too i did you know how hard it is to put a

fucking football helmet on impossible respects the respects have rubber all along the sides putting a fucking helmet on and keeping this the rec specs on borderline fucking impossible i would have rec specs on i had elbow pads on both fucking arms and i also had forearm pads i literally was covered head to toe in padding because i would get all these bruises and my parents were just like oh yeah we'll just cover that with another pad and i didn't think about like what a nerd i fucking looked like but looking back on it now oh my god like someone just take that kid's helmet like just take his helmet hide it from him make him look like an idiot because like that kid's a fucking nerd you looked like it was your first time like rollerblading and your parents just

got you every pad they possibly yeah they just they put on the wrist pad the elbow pad like that's but it's accurate like that's what i fucking looked like i still wrecked shit like i still was a beast but like i just looked fucking ridiculous you gotta find it for twitter oh i'm i act well i don't think i have. I don't think I have one. I don't think I have one, actually. I might have to ask my mom for some old photos of us. I know she has some. I don't know if there's any with me fully padded up,

but I can ask as well. Every kid in peewee football, though, wore so many pairs of pads. Because kids wore rib pads, too. That was a really big one. And they also have extra pads under their shoulder pads. It's like a flak jacket type thing.

That's just because they were 70 pounds and had no meat on their bones at all to protect anything. Yeah, they didn't have all this meat, baby. Ooh. For the viewers, I'm rubbing the stomach right now. We're chilling.

Good transition, though. Now we're in football. Burn. Hold on. One thing about me being washed, I stood on my balcony and watched the rainstorm pass by. Oh my god. That's so pleasant.

It was delightful. All right, continue. Tebow. Just ruin the transition. Yeah. Bro, me and Zach have to fight it out because I think signing Tebow is a really interesting and possibly good idea. So if people don't know, Tim Tebow was like insane quarterback in college, played for Florida, won the Heisman won a national championship was absolutely incredible but was a horrible quarterback with in college was okay but you could run the ball really well made the move to the nfl in college garbage in college he was okay you know just one

fucking heisman trophy it's like goes to the best player in the entire ncaa yeah but in college just casual in college you could get away with being a bad thrower and just having a like a run threat so people like have to commit to that but in the nfl you can't because they're actually good half their offense was handing the half their offense was handing the ball off to percy harvin and let him just like hey champ go go make a play dudes throw in seam routes to aaron hernandez it's just it's just unfair um but so in the nfl he sucked only lasted like two three years just complete garbage go ahead rooks and he beat the steelers in the NFL, he sucked. Only lasted like two, three years. Just complete garbage. Go ahead, Rooks.

And he beat the Steelers in the playoffs. I was just going to say. Blah, blah, blah, blah. First playoff game. Beats your Steelers in OT. You can't say he's terrible and had a terrible stint. They put up like 14 points. The next year, John Elway was like,

this isn't my type of quarterback. This isn't a six-foot'5 guy that can throw fucking bobs down the field. And then they changed the offense and then they were terrible. He was never good though. They just like, I swear the score of that game was like 14-14 going into overtime and he threw like a crossing route and they ran

for 80 yards. So it wasn't like he did much. It was like we didn't score anything. Their defense was good and the receiver caught the ball and did the rest. He runs 70 yards, though, to the end zone. It's an 80-yard touchdown pass on the stat sheet. That's all I'm going to say. Okay.

But so he pretty much just got ran out of the NFL because he's not actually a good quarterback. Had a stint with the Mets in their AA baseball league recently. That's what he's been doing. And then for some reason decided 10 years later, he needs to now get back into the NFL. So Jacksonville Jaguars had signed him. He officially signed his contract like two days ago

because Urban Meyer is the coach, and he was the coach of Florida. Is that the right name? Correct. Okay, cool. I'm not going crazy. But also, fuck Urban Meyer anyway. Yeah. Penn State fans, not a big fan of Urban Meyer.

Bitch. So everyone's like kind of confused by it because like, are they just signing him because he's like a buddy with the coach or is he actually going to do pretty well? Zach, I know you have. The first one. It's the first one. It's clearly the first one.

I don't know how you can argue with any other any other one well i got some stats for you so his combine might have it you have to you have to put your hands together in the triangle and you say welcome to sports science like now we're gonna go in a super deep detail about this so i got some combine stats between tebow the number one tight end in the draft this year pits and then the number one tight end in the league right now kelsey no go for it go for it uh so we're using tim tebow's combine which was how many years ago uh like 10 but like it's fine we're moving on so So he's 33, and Kylie Pitts is what, 21, 22? So just so, we do know you lose speed, strength, and athleticism as you get older, right?

Okay, continue. Not true. I mean, not true. No. You ever seen me? I've lost a step, okay? I don't throw my back out at Topgolf or anything, okay? I'm still a fucking cheetah, all right?

When you start at zero, brother, it's hard. You can't, you know, end up at zero. All right, go ahead, Brian. Tim Tebow's Benjamin Button. He's aging backwards. It's fine. We're good. Also, they don't ask your age at the combine. That's not really a stat they look at. So, like, we're good.

So, between the three, Tebow's 40-yard dash was a 4.7, Cal Pitts was a 4.38, and Kelsey was 4.61 so he's slower for sure it's close why would you start out with that one it's close

I only found the stats that I had for all three of them together and I'm not only going to give the good ones I'm just giving them all so we have an idea of maybe I'm just here to say maybe I'm just going them all so we have an idea of maybe. I'm not a huge advocate. I'm just here to say maybe. I'm just gonna say

Tebow's off to a hot fucking start right now. 33 years old and what? 0.5 half a second slower than the top speed. But he's only 0.1 slower than Kelsey and Kelsey's the number one tight end. Yeah, but Kelsey's also like a number

one receiver at tight end, which the league has never really seen but i'm saying like it's not just straight line speed that i need you know i mean yeah so okay uh hand size 10.13 pits is 10.6 kelsey is 9.6 so kelsey got little baby hands so he's one category i'm there too uh he's six foot three cow pits six six kelsey is six five so kind of little short guy so that also plays into the weight he's 236 or at least i gotta say t-boy's killing it right now man pitts is 245 and kelsey's 255 so he's a little small, but like shifty. He's going to be like a Wes Welker at tight end. So his, how this works,

his three cone drill 6.66, where Kelsey is a 7.09 side to side of movement. Lateral. He's got it down. He's going to run some weird routes of the middle. Okay. As I said earlier, this is fucking 33 now, this is literally this is so fucking long

ago i don't have to say anything i don't have to make any arguments brian's just making it for me would you like to make brian's argument for him so he's doing it for you sure sure we'll switch i'm not here to say he's gonna be great i'm not here to say he's going to be great. I'm just here to say, let him catch a ball or two. I'm just here to say, look at his combine from 2008. Let me know how it goes. Hold on. We got more stats. We got more stats.

So his vertical, 38 inches. Kyle Pitt's vertical, 33 inches. Kelsey, only 35. Dude's getting jump balls to make up for his lack of like four inches of height that he's kind of lacking in. And then the last stat,

his 20-yard shuttle, 4-1-7, where Kelsey ran a 4-4-2. So dude, lateral movement and he can jump out the roof. Also, you know,

he's kind of got guy on his side. That kind of helps put him in a playoff scenario. Fourth quarter, look, you don't play Tebow the first three quarters out the roof. Also, he's kind of got guy on his side. That kind of helps. Put him in a playoff scenario, fourth quarter. Look, you don't play Tebow the first three quarters of the game. Fourth quarter, overtime, you put him in. He's scoring three touchdowns. That's his entire career in the NFL.

If you looked at his stats in the NFL, they always showed his fourth quarter stats versus anything else, and it was always night and day. It was super weird. I mean, he's definitely the clutch gene. You know, he's definitely there. He can definitely compete late in the game. But there's a huge but that you're leaving out. The man can't catch.

He can't catch. He can't play tight end. You know that. You just compared all his stats from a combine in like 2008 to the top guys in the league right now let me defend it let me defend that uh that was also kelsey's stats from a couple years ago so kelsey would be slower yeah kelsey kelsey now has been on the chiefs as a pro bowler for yeah kelsey played tight end in college he didn't even play football last year, man.

Come on. What is this argument? Also, Tebow's been playing professional sports for the past 10 years, though. He hasn't been doing nothing sitting on his butt. He's still in shape. Playing baseball? No, I'm just kidding. Just kidding. Sorry. It doesn't really transfer,

but it's still exercise compared to some people who are just on their butt doing nothing. Watching rain showers on their porch. Dude, this is the epitome of my dad owns the company, so you're going to give me a job and I have no prior experience. It'd be like walking into an investment banking thing and they'd be like, oh, let me see your resume. It's like, well, I was a garbage truck and they'd be like, oh, let me see your resume. It's like, well, I was a garbage truck driver, and I was slinging drugs on the street. And they're like, you know what? You're hired.

It's the same thing. He has no qualifications. And you can say, OK, he played the NFL. There is no qualifications that he should be a tight end, other than the fact that Urban Meyer was his college coach and is now his NFL coach. And honestly, I don't know why Urban Meyer does this. Why bring Tim Tebow in when you have a fresh start, a fresh new quarterback?

Obviously, he's not playing quarterback. That's Trevor Lawrence's job, but why bring him in anyway? What's the point? But was he a Heisman winning trash collector? That's the difference. What was his 40 time? Can you give me the 40 time of this

drug slinging trash truck driver? You mean the drug slinging, hash slinging slasher? Yeah. He would ghost ride the garbage truck and just run down the street collect all the trash and bring it back before it got to the end of the street. Lateral speed has to be huge. Picking up those trash cans, that's

hard. Dude, I'm telling you. Lateral speed has to be huge. Picking up those trash cans, that's hard. Dude, I'm telling you. Get him a max deal, honestly. Exactly. No, I fully agree. People were saying too, like, oh, they're bringing him on because he's going to be like a good influence

and he's like a veteran sort of and like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He's a leader. But like, bring him on as a coach then. Like, I don't know why you could pay him less and have him just be there to like rally the team around.

Historically, Tebow's just been, like from a locker room standpoint, you could pay him less and have him just be there to like rally the team around historically tebow's just bit like from a locker room standpoint he's just been a fucking distraction because anytime he goes to a team everybody like all the reporters and shit swarm him and want to talk to him and it's like dude dude is like a backup quarterback on the jets and he was getting like tons of people in the locker room and shit like fuck off man like no one cares do you think that would be good though trying to take the spotlight off trevor lawrence because i think you can handle it no you want the spotlight on trevor lawrence trevor i don't think you're really mad i mean trevor the thing with trevor is he's just been in the spotlight for so many years now that i don't know if he's kind of used to it yeah i don't

i don't know how you go from multiple national championships and not be ready for I mean spotlight plenty of NHL players have done that though yeah like ever there's so many busts at like but not it's like not as in such a fashion like for sure his first year like his first year taking down was his freshman year that he took down bama the national championship yeah i think it was his freshman year yes that's that's um to me you can be an awesome player but that comes from something in here something in your heart you know it's like tebow in the fourth quarter, baby. It's just money. That stuff works in college when he was like rah-rah when they lost that game. He was like, you'll never see anyone play harder than I'll play.

In the NFL, you would just get mocked. You'd be like, hey, Tim, how does it feel to be the coach's pet that you got a job, you bitch? Who's the Jags tight end right now? That's what I was gonna go over i have the depth chart up uh james ashana see and tyler davis so okay so he might tipo tipo might actually play in every article the only person they mentioned by name was one of those two i forget which one and they're like oh he's just a blocking tight end so i think it's i think it's a competition yeah so he's zero competition so like that's why i don't think it's a shot. He's a fucking guy. Yeah. So he has zero competition.

So that's why I don't think I'll be surprised if he makes the team. He's not going to do anything, though. I really don't think he will. It would be different if he was 26 or 27. I could maybe see it. The man's 33. Why wouldn't you take a flyer on a D2 college basketball star and try to pick the next Antonio Gates and just put him out there and try it. That, to me, is more worth it than bringing back 33-year-old Tebow

who's going to offer you absolutely nothing. Are you kidding me? Hold on a sec. Did you hear his combine stats? Did you hear that he's going to work harder than every other fucking person in the league? Like, come on. And him and Erdmeyer are boys.

They go way back. they're the way back boys that's that's two that's two for this episode honk honk baby i think it would be oh the they're not eligible for hard knocks the jaguars because they have a rookie head coach that's like part of the the deal so they can't have them uh a list. Oh, there it's my phone. I actually have notes because I was going to talk about this and I'm being unprepared right now

and I'm going to try to keep talking until it loads and then I can actually say the list of the names. So it's the Broncos, the Cardinals, the Cowboys, the Giants,

and the Panthers. I think the choice is obvious there, baby. I don't know about y'all. I think the choice is obvious. Go birds. If you guys get Julio, it would be interesting to see. Dude, I was listening to a fantasy football podcast today,

and they were like, if you guys get Julio, you'll have the most washed-up receiving core that would have been incredible 10 years ago. Because you'd have DeAndre Hopkins, Larry Fitzgerald, A.J. Green, and Julio Jones, which is just insane. There was a really... One of my buddies tweeted a few years ago when cardinals had is whatever year the cardinals picked up adrian peterson they had like adrian peterson to some really wash receivers i can't remember who like the cardinals are doing

their best to have the most dominant 2007 offense or some shit like that. I was like, God damn it. But, you know, like we have – our receivers are old as fuck. Yeah. We got Julio. Like I couldn't be upset with that, you know. Do you see the Eagles signed Kerrigan? He's an end, right? And then also today a de-tackle.

So two more positions that they already had and don't need more of. So that's good. But at least you're signing them and not drafting them. Drafting is more of like a waste of resources. Signing is just like, yeah. It's also just really funny if you watch any, because like the team announces it,

whatever on there, like Twitter, every single person that's responding is like, this is the biggest cornerback I've ever seen. Thanks, guys. Thanks for signing the cornerback. It's so funny. Every time.

Them getting Kerrigan was definitely a dig at the football team. Kerrigan's been eating in the SEC for years, so now they're going to take Kerrigan and they're going to be like, yeah, you're going to split snaps. Have fun on the bench, asshole. Yikes. I mean, it's a dog. Yeah, a lot of my being from the D, asshole. Yikes. I mean, it's a dog.

Yeah, a lot of my, being from the D.C. area, a lot of the football team fans are not happy because Kerrigan, or well, they're just like, this hurts, because Kerrigan's been there for like 10 or 11 years or something. And then today there's a video of him being like, I just can't, I can't wait to get to the city. I love Philly. Go birds or something like that.

And everyone's like, this hurts my heart. All right. So that's enough Tebow because I know Zach's going to have an aneurysm if I try to defend him any longer. But did you try to defend him? You just let it off his combine stats. There's a giant wave

of criticism coming and I have like a boogie board. I'm just trying to hold it back so like there's not much i can really do but i tried fair enough do we want to wrap it up and ask zach all the quick fire questions we had from last week yes all right zap you ready to go let's do it if you were potato how would you like to be prepared unplugged so I wouldn't be a burden on anybody Great answer I fucking hate you I fucking hate you for that Why? Why would you do that?

Awful fucking answer I say that's a great answer I'm scared to ask the rest of them If you could be an inanimate object what would you be oh i'm terrified for this oh man an inanimate object um uh an inanimate object for reference i said i would be a mirror because i wanted to watch tv i don't i don't know where my head was at on that rook said he would be a mirror because i wanted to watch tv i don't i don't know where my head was at on that rook said he would be a spoon because he wants to taste food all the

little spoon he said i'd be just like around aromas you know i mean okay what'd you say i was playing because i'm traveling places there it is playing so you got some inspiration i guess yeah it depends on how like mobile i want to be um uh probably like an aldi shopping cart because i feel like you get a little stuck inside of you would be pretty sweet and then you're like linked up with the rest of the shopping carts so you can like you and your boys just hanging out and then you're like and then what if you're the one that's always stuck at the end and you never get picked and then the time like you get picked you're like jerry got picked he got picked and you're like cheering him on i'd probably be an all-d shopping cart yeah

probably cool i fucking i i literally i i hated burns answers so much i take everything i said back your answers were great these are do you think also do you think they probably keep track of the types of quarters that get inserted like oh like i got the wyoming like 2008 and they your answers were great these are do you think also do you think they probably keep track of the types of quarters that get inserted like oh like i got the wyoming like 2008 and they probably have it's probably like a coin so you want to be a coin collector as an inanimate object well i think it'd be cool i'm just trying to think of like and then you i feel like a shopping cart be cool because you'd be like oh like what is this old lady putting in her bag prunes you know uh like oat milk and like it sounds like you picked

shopping cart and now you're trying to think why did i hundred percent these reasons are just i don't they don't compute i feel like i could see this as like a pixar short before a movie though which yeah maybe it's sad in my head maybe a homeless person steals you and you go on the adventure with the homeless person he puts all his stuff in the cart and you it's like a little pixar movie that's a great like seth rogan movie it's like a homeless person who's like very high off his butt who just like talks to a inanimate shopping cart and it's like his best friend for the entire movie well i don't know if pixar is gonna pick that one up right well that yeah maybe that picks for us this seems like it would build off of the movie sausage party.

Exactly. It's very similar, like very similar concept. Like I feel like that would be such a, something they could make an awesome joke out of in sausage party, which also is a fucking insane movie. Oh my God. Anyway.

Um, all right. I'm two for two. You're fucking, you are over to you. Okay. You are, you are struggling right now um last one if you were so you're getting rushed by waves of 10 year olds 10 at a time

no weapons once you kill 10 10 more come at you how many realistically do you think you could kill before you became overwhelmed? How many waves? How many waves of 10-year-olds? Overwhelmed emotionally or physically? Both. Are they California 10-year-olds? They're like walking dead.

They're walking dead, but they're real. They want to kill it. So they're dead, but they're alive? Yes. Their only goal is to murder you that's more what i'm saying it's the mindset of the walk so all they want to do is kill you gotcha i the reason i said california teens is because they scare me like california 10 year olds are the equivalent of of like normal 25 year olds and you know like midwestern 25 year olds and i feel like they would just bully me um and so sorry do i have a weapon or is this my no weapons no weapons all right my i just got billy joe armstrong

and uh reginald val johnson um okay um honestly i'd probably get through one wave of 10 year olds you're not hey i respect yourself sure i respect the answer yeah i like honestly because if their goal is to kill like i'm i'm not i fully admit i'm one person so and they're all coming at once right it's not like their one comes yeah like another they don't take fucking turns it's 10 of them on you trying to kill you right so it's not like the royal rumble of of death yeah they're not like there's no countdown okay all of the kids names yeah and i assume they don't have any feelings right so if i like tear the head off of one of them it doesn't establish fear no it doesn't okay um okay whoa whoa last time we said they had feelings because i said i was gonna befriend

the tenth one that is true you said you were gonna befriend them and i told you that was fucking stupid and that's not part of it you said it was stupid you didn't say it wasn't allowed so no it's that's not the case we'll play it back we'll play it back we'll check i mean i feel like you're like underestimated how hard it is to actually i mean are they like mushy like if i punch them do i go through their face no they got soft spots in their head no they're yeah it's regular kids but the mindset is all they're gonna do is they want to fucking kill you i feel like you're underestimating how hard it is to like kill somebody like it's not like i just punch them right in the face and they drop like it

sounds like someone who's never punched a 10 year old before yes i'm you know zach i was shitting on your answers but you brought it back you saved it and for that i appreciate it these two fucking idiots last week said they could take on infinity waves okay well we had reasons though so terrible fucking reasons first of all if you think that you zach are you making it past one wave or are you dying at the first wave i'd say my best case scenario is i make it past the first wave and then just i'd probably tire out and then here is here is my argument then because if you're gonna say that you can make it past one wave you can just keep one little guy alive but badly beaten up or just befriend him like brian's gonna do and you just you just wait like just punch that little guy in the face every now and then knock him out like i'll break some arms like this is how this isn't like an interview question

like a brain teaser of how you stay alive this is an actual question of how many waves of tenure it's not like oh like yeah i i make the ding ding ding ding but okay so if you're presented with this in real life as like this is happening so then now you're not going to problem solve you're going to be like this isn't this is real life this isn't an interview question so i'm going to die i give up like that's you have to take it as like you want to survive realistically you can't kill infinity waves there's no fucking way you keep one kid alive for for 20 minutes while you're getting kill infinity waves there's no fucking way you keep one kid alive front for 20 minutes while you're getting your shit together that's still 20 minutes that you're not eating and then another wave comes are you gonna you can you can turn them into a potato

hold on make them the kids i talked about food in my answer i talked about food in my answer zach you're gonna agree with me so fucking 10 year olds you kill nine of them check the pockets of the nine that you killed 100 chance they have fruit snacks in there maybe a juice box or two they always carry food around on them eat that food replenish yourself you carry the one last one around with you either befriend him because he's cool or you just punch him in the face because he's annoying cod zombies him just kind of drag him around find some food in the wilderness just leave the area that you're at you're answering a different question you're saying how do you stay alive if waves of 10 year olds are coming at a way and then you kill the

10th one once you have the energy to kill another nine easy wash die of natural causes do you see what the fuck i had to deal with last week yeah this is bullshit we just think critically and you guys just have no self-confidence i totally forgot to um i asked my dad this one night my dad gave the gave probably a dumber answer than you guys did my dad said oh i would i could take on as many as I want. I just keep breaking their arms. They wouldn't be able to hit me or anything. I was like, great. He's going to line up for you and just put their arms out.

Like here, snap them, please. And I was like, dad, do you even know how to break an arm? Like if, so if I gave you my arm right now,

like, could you snap it without me resisting at all? He takes his bicycle, throws it over his head, and hits him with it. Broke an arm. Just the idea that he was like, yeah, to get them all off of me, right?

These bloodthirsty 10-year-olds. I'm going to individually snap all 20 of their arms without taking any damage, and then I can start really laying into them. That is insanity. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard.

I think homework for next week, us three need to ask our parents that question and then report back. Yes, absolutely. Okay. Alright, cool. It's a date. See you next week, everybody. The Russian Queen.