It’s Wednesday My Dudes - Ep. 18: Oscar the Grouch the Bathroom Attendant: The Musical: The Series

Episode Date: June 2, 2021

You already know the boyos are back with a good one this week. Talking alcohol advice from Hot Mike, Zaks obsession with Guy Fieri, the nonsense that is bathroom attendants, our favorite axe body spray, middle school lunches, and we tier list our favorite PE games / recess elementary school type games. Follow us on Twitter @IWMD_Pod

welcome back to another episode of it's wednesday my dudes got the regular crew with us we got cory hit me we got zach what's up two things one i've been front loading my creatine 10 grams this past week five grams going forward feeling nice and swole and olivia rodrigo's album is the definition of a slap daddy happy to be here boys i feel like the album's good but it's not like everyone's like oh she's gonna be like the next paramore she's so like crazy pop punk or something like yeah well brian she gave me the next paramore she's one person paramore is a whole band don't be silly panic of the disco is one person she has a band behind her i'm sure touring band anyways we got rooks what's up and i am brian so this week i got some advice for rooks from a listener yeah we'll be talking some some p some pe games we tear listen some things

favorite games from elementary school maybe middle school i don't know how long you had pe class for i barely had pe in high school uh might be getting into some food fight talk i don't know where we're going but to start rooks everyone's favorite hot mike had some fatherly advice hot mike from last week when you're talking about what your like order is at the bars now you're like oh i try to be uh like smart about it and get tonic water with whatever your gin or something yeah apparently tonic water has like just as much sugar as soda does it doesn't it's soda water which is sugar-free and he's like that's the move which is what you should be doing okay well hot mic appreciate appreciate it you know thank you but i was i drank a few gin and tonics this

weekend no no effect so maybe my system is just cool with g and t's and that's where my body lies i don't know but i appreciate the advice i appreciate him him installing or instilling his knowledge you know what i'm saying but i'm gonna stick to it all right i'm gonna do me a long path to get away from drinking what did we do in college like seven red bull vodkas at indigo on a thursday night so it's a long journey to get get extremely healthy off of that sugar-free red bulls though gotta keep the cal count low with the sugar freeze no no i did i did sugar you with the full strength red bulls oh yeah oh Gotta keep the cal count low with the sugar freeze. No, no, I didn't. I didn't sugar. You with the full strength Red Bulls? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Ooh, sheesh. Sheesh. You gotta put the microwave, the Red Bull in the microwave, boil it down a little bit, make it extra concentrated, then pour it into your drink. What the fuck did you just say? I don't think they were doing that at the bars we went to. Just like Zach's grandma used to, like, microwave all

the peeps from Easter candy. It's the move, man. Hot Red Bull? Come on. She's not dead yet, but when that happens, just give her a shout out. My goodness. God, why are you such a dick? She makes Peeps stay on the microwave.

I feel like it's a fair trade. Yeah, she deserves a little bit of a dragon. I don't know if I'm going to come on that. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Train Zach's going down. I don't like that. At her funeral, please go make a speech.

Be like, yeah, she's cool, but she put peeps in the microwave, so it's a little sus. No, Zach's just going to go to the funeral and he's going to say, episode 18, if you just skip to... Make sure to like and subscribe share it episode 19 live from grandma's funeral it's gonna be great we're gonna be whispering in the back there might be some musical interludes we just said we you just said or cory said we're not gonna run with this so stop running like stop doing this rook, it's yes and. We just got to keep going.

We're going off no schedule right now. We just have to run with whatever we can run with. It's going to be a bit too much club for him. Wait, so Brian, I appreciate that advice. Did we get any other questions answered? We had a big question in the last pod. Did anyone call in and answer that question? Oh uh the good old-fashioned q question um yeah no surprisingly man i'm no one called in i'm shocked nobody in the internet i'm shocked nobody called in through through the whatever the the comments that yeah i'm shocked no one called in and gave us

gave us some background knowledge on the queues it was a memorial weekend people were probably like super busy yeah people are just next week they'll probably call in and then we'll bring it back our phone lines are flooded they were probably building up all their queues for the month of may and then had to get them out so they'll probably call in next one to i'm assuming that's how that works. I don't know. This is why you need to call in and tell us how it happens. Someone please call in and just make Zach sound like a fucking idiot, please.

What you just said. Incredible. Alright, I have a quick game for you guys to play. It's going to be called Guess the Contract. So, contract is three years, $80 million. I'm going to slowly

give you information. You've got to start guessing who it is. Tim Tebow on the Jags. No. Anyone else? He's worth it. Alright. This guy is 5'10". Still sounds like Tim Tebow. He weighs 2'10". He's from Columbus, Ohio. He's 52 years old. he plays for food network guy here he got an 80 million dollar three-year contract to just do diners drive-ins and dives

and just be like hey leave it down also guys go street games okay don't disrespect it's a great show too oh it absolutely is i feel like before we went to croatia we spent a day in chicago and watched six hours of it at saxapark we watched so much guys one fact about guy one fact about guy fieri uh two fun facts actually uh i was so obsessed with him i had the first three seasons of diners driving the dives on dvd and then my dad also got me for christmas a signed guy fieri like diners driving the dives book so i have autographed memory merch from guy fieri then he also with that got me tickets to the rosemont theater where guy fieri just like set up shop and just cooked in front of everybody so basically it was like his food network show but he just cooked in front of a live studio audience and i went and just watched him cook food

didn't get to eat any of it just sat and watched him cook food so i'm a big guy fiatty stan were you like 300 pounds that had frosted tips at this point no dude there were so many guy fiatty imposters or like or people dressed up it was like guy fiatty comic-con it was so it was terrifying that's incredible and super do you have the uh the sign like poster or whatever still it's a it's a cookbook yeah of course i've got it that's incredible and super do you have the uh the sign like poster or whatever still it's a it's a cookbook yeah of course i've got it that's gonna be worth like that's gonna be worth like 80 bucks one day i was gonna say what i was waiting to hear what dollar value you were gonna give that 80 is fair that's fair i feel like the book's got to be like 50

yeah i don't think they sell it anymore so yeah it's a collector's item now vintage pop that thing on ebay get your money's worth what is this contract how long is it 80 million dollars three years 80 million dollars that's they once that came out there's so many lists on twitter of like here are all these professional athletes that don't get paid as much as guy fieri does for like yelling at white people to cook food faster on now that i think now that i think about it i'm pretty sure i saw a tweet as someone said damn they gave him a max contract franchise tag do you think at any point he wants to not have frosted tips but it is now his persona

and he can't i don't think i don't think they're dyed they just grow out that way that's just his natural hair color he just he was born a pineapple and it just keeps going he just drinks it and then just like chia pets like out of his head you know what i'm saying you should see down below man it's even crazier ah gross keep it keep it clean brian this is the tips on your people would be such a good move no one had ever seen that before that definitely that seals the deal so do we think what i think that's the next hairstyle that's what it is oh for sure frosted tips down below pubed yeti is this style can you go as pubed yeti for halloween i don't know how you go as that for halloween you have to wear

just like your pants like show the pubes you know what i mean people people wear shit like that no so you wear you know like the morph suits where it's like skin tight spandex wear that but get a black one and then just cut out a little square around your like dick and ball region so it sticks out then you kind of dress them up like guy fieri so that no one sees the rest of your body it's just a little guy fieri running around you know two three inch guy see my mug shot when I get arrested. You have a morph suit on. Your face can't be seen.

You're fine. Blend into the background. Definitely not how that works. I think they might make me take down the mask when I'm arrested. Do you know how easy, even if it was fucking Halloween, do you know how easy it would be

for someone to say, tell like the police, hey, there's this guy running around in a black morph suit with a tiny guy Fieri on his pubic region. Like no one else is wearing that costume. There's going to be one guy in an entire place. The black morph suit alone is going to be easiest.

It's going to be easy to pick out. Then he turns around and just see a little guy Fieri on his crotch. Like it's game over, man. You're on the list. Congratulations. Dude, you just see a little Guy Fieri on his crotch, like, it's game over, man. You're on the list. Congratulations. Dude, you just find a shadow, you'll be fine. As soon as you walk outside, you're good.

He's got a little pair of sunglasses. Does Guy Fieri have, like, a line that he says? All I know is Emeril goes bam. He says what? Like, welcome to Flavortown and shit like that? Yeah much salami call my mommy does he actually say that or is this yeah no he says that in one of his episodes he says that in one of his episodes yeah yeah that's the caption for your instagram post when you post your halloween costume for that year it's the one say it again i don't know who is that

you know we're talking corey's doing it zach's saying though like the salami comment like i guess that would be a fair caption for you having pube guy yeah like that would be yeah that'd be pretty appropriate it works how many likes until it gets taken down never that's gonna be the most liked post on instagram it's gonna pass like the egg or whatever the like one images oh it's instagram it was ellen and then it was like at the met gala they took a photo in the bathroom and lady gaga's in the back like i just need to take a piss and everyone else is like gathered around there's like kanye and kim and they like took a photo and that i think is the most liked one on instagram

someone you know check me going off of bathrooms i think one of the things i miss most about covid is uh broing out with the other guys in the bathroom like in a bar bathroom like you just become immediate friends with everybody you're just no one's hostile you're just kind of like you had a little hoop in there like the nerf hoop and when you shoot the paper towel in and it goes down in the trash you had to have that at any of your bars by you i thought you meant during covid that was the thing you're gonna yeah i thought you were saying that too why during covid just hanging out in bathrooms just ask the bathroom attendant because there are none because it's covid so there's nobody

going to the restaurants yo though the bathroom attendants are the worst though it's like it's like it's like when people pump your gas and you're in New Jersey. Sorry for our New Jersey listeners. I'm just, they're like, here's a paper towel. I'm like, here's a paper towel. And then they expect me to tip them. I'm like, literally right here, I can just grab the paper towel. We have in one of the bars in D.C., there's a dude in the bathroom,

and he calls himself Big Dick. Like, he literally says, yo, what's up, man? Like, he calls himself big dick like he literally says yo what's up man thank you like he refers to himself as big dick and he has like all he has like the typical stuff but he has like gum all this other like he has a full it's i forgot what bar it's at but there's like multiple shelves of stacked items like it's like a display in a store or some shit one time i was like i didn't even i didn't even want to buy anything i was just like i respect you so much for just like telling everyone hey my name is big dick you can have the tiniest dick in the world you tell everyone what's up my name

is big dick with like that confidence i bought in but i ended up i was hammered i didn't remember but i ended up venmoing him Like just for like goofing around I've been like five bucks Next morning my bed. No, it's you've had mode big dick five dollars What the fuck happened last night Yeah, if you're like actually blacked out and didn't remember I feel like you have a slight panic I saw that I read that and I texted my friends like what the fuck is this about like dude the bathroom attendant and then immediately like clicked exchanging goods and services

i want him to have like lunchables in there and like a slinky and like a scholastic book fair like just everything there was some good shit in there. It wasn't just your typical gum condoms lineup. He had a diversified profile. A little Dogecoin, a little SafeMoon. It's just a broker in the bathroom.

Cryptocurrency had to start out real small. It started with Big Dick in DC, man. How do you get that job? i imagine you go to the bar and you there's a job you can be a bartender you can be a bus boy you can be a bouncer you can be the bathroom attendant you know too ugly to be a waitress too small to be a bouncer too dumb to like be a manager i guess and like i don't your name's big dick so they'll be like yeah you should probably go to the bathroom yeah for that guy he probably walked into the interview and was like so my name's uh big dick you're hired um when do you start you're definitely hired we just have to find a place for you sounds like the bathroom might make sense well so big just big dick's actually like huge like he's i remember he's a big dude he was definitely like a bouncer before and then one night jokingly like covered for someone in like the bathroom attendant in the bat like and

just made racks and tons of tips he's like you know what fuck it i'm gonna just ask drunk kids to give me money because i'm gonna call myself big dick and it works do you think he gets like mid-wage plus tips or is he like purely tips only he's just the tips he probably gets he probably gets uh like an actual wage like he because he's not like a server or anything he probably doesn't because servers and stuff they get less of a wage because they're mainly getting tips i think he actually makes probably minimum wage and then does that on top of it i feel like too i feel like too you don't because servers usually share the tips i feel like the the bathroom attendant his tips are his or her

tips are their own oh yeah like you don't want the you don't want the bathroom tips good question are there feet like attendance in the women's room question number two for the ladies i actually don't know there has to be at some point but like i think so that seems i've never heard a girl complain about it though i think there's not a girl attendant because girls just do it anyways they'll just like leave random like stuff on the like calendar and they go they go take a penny leave a penny mentality when they go to the bathroom take a tampon leave a lot of girls have like well like girls are more prepared for random shit they have like shit in their purse you know what i mean or like in their bag or like wallet like they're prepared

for this kind of shit but they're probably yeah like we're like too fucking stupid to remember this stuff so here we have a fucking eight shelf thing in the bathroom that we can give you girls had the little like vending machine for random bullcrap too though in some places i guess guys can have that too i was gonna say what's the difference between the the assortment at the in the guy's restroom versus the lady's restroom so obviously i mean like like are you saying hypothetically if there is one at the yeah like what's what's yeah what's the difference i need someone to call and i'm not like honestly kristin or amanda or denise because i know you three actually listen it's call in and let us know because we don't actually know but it's got to be like a three-part right like one

has that ever been a thing is it a thing right two what would you want there slash what is there yes and then the third you're just general thoughts on it because i feel like generally most guys are like i could do without it sometimes when you're like hammered and talk would talk to a wall like kind of fun but it's just strange like think about if they had that in like public bathrooms it would just be so odd if you go to that airport bathroom no no no on the air on the airport itself it's like you go in into the tiny little stall he just like watches you pee and then when you when you're washing your hands excuse me me, sir. Would you like one of these towels? No, you just go, bend over, please.

I'll wait for you. It's free service. No tips. I am paid generously. We're fine. Man, Southwest up their game this year. That's the new addition to Spirit Airlines. Delta's punching people in the face.

Southwest is giving them bathroom attendance. Dude, if Spirit had bathroom attendance, that man would literally be, he would be shoved in a little, like, drawer in the wall, and then you'd have to, like, tap on the, tap on the door when you're done, and he'd be like, do you want anything? I got all this, and he would, like, open it up enough so

you could see it, and then you'd be like, no, I'm good, and he'd be like, okay, and he would just shut himself back into it. Just where the hole, like, where the trash can usually is, his hand just pops out, he's like, you need anything, man? He just keeps holding things out, and he would just shut himself back into it. Just where the hole, like where the trash can usually is, his hand just pops out. He's like, you need anything, man? He just keeps holding things out, and you say no,

and he reaches back down and grabs something else. Tinder swipe left, swipe right on it. Oh, we need to make that happen. Billion dollar idea. Get Southwest on the line. We've mentioned Southwest specifically before, right? That that was zach who zach had the issue with with uh checking his back yes southwest you're in the fucking hot seat you know what we're setting up another boxing match okay it's gonna be the bathroom Zach versus the fictional bathroom attendant from

Southwest. No, no, no. That's the guy that's in Zach's corner. He's ready with towels. He's got the water. We're the tag team. Yeah. But they have to roll him out in his trash can into the corner and it's still just the hand water bottle comes out.

He's on the ground. He rolls out and looks like a Muppet. Our finishing move is fasten your seatbelts, please. And we just like, no, you get a tray table and just smack it in the head with it. We could get a whole Southwest themed WWE Royal Rumble going. Look, we get Chuck D'Amelio. This could be her personality. She could be the Southwest flight attendant. And then her partner could be the bathroom attendant.

It could be Oscar the bathroom attendant. He's going out in the trash can. I was thinking after our discussion last week, I thought about it. In the WWE video game, people create real people and stuff like that. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Charlie D' d'amelio like someone's created her i was debating going in picking all the chucks i could find obviously i gotta go in and edit their character and change their name to chuck instead of what it actually is

but then setting up a royal rumble and like live streaming it somewhere and then we could put it on like twitter or something i was debating it's just gonna take a little bit of effort next time next time we visit and hang out that's exactly the only thing we're gonna do for the entire weekend so lock it up it's gonna be a 48 hour steel cage match chucks v chucks we'll call it up chucks v chucks wearing chucks wearing chuck taylors that'll take too much time editing we can't do that we'll edit it in both yeah we'll edit it in oh okay so that's on me yikes all right so uh we can move on from oscar the grouch flight attendants i guess zach you want a nice if you want a sick transition bathroom attendance

axe body spray that's a horrible transition how's that a horrible kind of work you have to be like the one thing i actually want a bathroom attendant to have is ax body spray because i never have it that reminds me what's your i'm not reading a script my god i wasn't either that's off the top of the dome zach say what you wanted to say oh no i just wanted us to uh since we're talking about pe class physical education if some of you don't know what pe stands for um i wanted to talk about the types of axe body spray we used when you were between in the grades of five to eight and maybe in high school if you were if you carried that tradition into being a

freshman so did you guys do your research no or did you use x body spray i'm gonna google right now i use x body spray my answer was just gonna be the blue one but i don't remember the actual phoenix phoenix it was phoenix why do you so you set us up what did you use and it did you use it so i use so phoenix was my initial answer but then i looked at the list because i need to the list because i need to refresh my memory i remember being so hyped for uh the one called essence because it had two dragons it was like a red and an aqua dragon on the cover like intertwining and then coming and basically kissing on the front of the of the bottle and i felt like such a badass i

don't i don't know why axe body spray or just body spray in general when you like we're hitting puberty was the coolest thing you could get. And you thought, yeah, this is going to make the ladies love me. I'm going to spray this all over myself and they're not going to get enough of me. Because until this point in our lives, until I first started wearing deodorant, I bet I smelled like shit constantly. I bet I genuinely smelled like shit all the time. And then I started wearing deodorant. I was like, you know, I feel cleaner. I don't know what it is but i feel cleaner i think i think people will respect that before

you like hit puberty though you don't like smell when you sweat as much speak oh no there's a time there's a time here's rux's giant sigh dude rux do you remember in fifth grade right when everyone like started to have to wear deodorant our teachers were all over everyone's butt on, like, wearing it? Like, they would give everyone daily reminders, like, hey, you all smell. Wear deodorant as we're, like, leaving for the day. It's so bad. I don't know who is the culprit on that one, but I don't know. So, I never used Axe body spray.

I thought all the cool kids did, though though and i was not a cool kid i was an old spice guy still am i've never used anything except for pure sport and i'm gonna stick with that till the day i die uh because it just works pure sports that's like the old man one that's like yeah i've been using old spice since 1942 i'm backing up brian i do pure sport too that's the old man's just Pure Sport is just like classic. That's the one Kristen uses. The best one is I like Fiji.

Fiji is a really good smell. And then I like There's like a bear attack. All the ones that have mythical creatures on the front are all great. I think it's like bear glove. Can we just It's man bear thing.

They're intense. they smell great can we just talk about the marketing that these people are using to market to men it's like we gotta put just a cool mythical animal on there be like give me that one i want that one two dragons on the front and got me man i'm fucking sold still does i got it guys i gotta go phoenix i have to go i like don't remember any other one i'm trying to go back and i feel like i can't get a historic list of like all i got like the wikipedia list and i'm not gonna sit here and like read the list of all the axe body sprays it's your list axe body sprays since oh yeah how did how did you guys do um apply your axe body spray did you do i was a big x guy i would double the chesty dog chesty they teach you how to do it in

the commercial man double pits the chest my the axe body spray was like a big thing in my middle school like at the start yeah and then seventh grade one kid started wearing cologne. And all of us were. Call them out. Call them out by name. Start beef. Let's go. I think it was either Jake or Lambert.

Jake or Lambert started wearing cologne. Yeah, I believe it. And everybody was like, oh, fuck. Is that what we do now? Is deodorant not enough anymore? And then everyone started wearing cologne and just like spraying way too fucking much of it you walked you walked in you walked into the the boys locker room in our middle school it's like it's like hazard it's like hazardous like there's just chemicals in the air dude it was probably so bad for our young growing lungs you know what i mean like it was fucking awful yeah the my vision was a little hazy with all the spray that was in the air i feel like people

use like body spray though and didn't use like actual deodorant so it didn't like yeah cover up your pits or like make you sweat less it just made you like smell like sweat and then your shirt smelled like axe body spray so it just wasn't good yeah that's what i don't understand like why do people you only have the antiperspirant one and then they're not like the regular gel one who is using the just the regular gel one the one that doesn't have antiperspirant are you really do you really how because it's i don't know you're not sweat it's all right i'm always in shorts and a t-shirt because I'm always warm. So I'm always like just trying to not sweat. But like,

don't you sweat? Yeah. So you want to anti perspire, which means you should use the, so the anti perspire ones though, it will turn your shirts yellow. If you don't use those, your shirts.

Okay. Well, I wear white shirt literally every single day for the, for the view. So I, the viewers brag, I wears nothing but white tees, so I guess that's fair.

Currently wearing one. A white tee guy. And yeah, I wore the anti-perspirant one for a couple months, and then all my t-shirts got ruined. I was like, I feel like it's the deodorant and not just me somehow emitting yellow gross stuff from my pits

for the first time in my life. And just switch back to pure sport can't go wrong dog come on you're old head and also like if you're gonna like go to the gym and like sweat anyways or like be anywhere outside like it doesn't like stop it fully so you might as well just smell fine and move on with your life yeah now what were some of the uh some of the locker room games you guys played because everyone you know you gotta do the the flinching game obviously was one um like nut taps but that's not much of a game yeah that game's not very fun but i mean people did that a lot um the shit i

feel like you really can win that the shit where you make a little circle with your hand and it's and then you try to get people to look at it below your waist and if they look and make eye contact with you, punch them, that was a big one. Is that what you refer to it as? I mean, you don't have to put it on your balls. You don't have to make people look at your little Guy Fieri. You can just put it on the side.

It's from Love Guru. That's what they call it. That's my reference. Your little Guy Fieri has to be a thing we're gonna keep that going imagine someone actually referring to their cock as fucking guy fieri dude this is my little guy oh god gotta say welcome to flavor town tonight cory no disgusting no thank you show her your dynins drive-ins and dives man you're triple d welcome to guys grocery games you have 60 seconds what i don't like to grab what you want

it fits really well and i don't like it let's just take a little detour i'm disgusting man that thing's worth 80 million dollars for three years it's a lot of time all right back to uh locker room games the only thing i remember for like middle school was like your lockers didn't have a real lock on it like a little padlock it was like an embedded one so people just come by while you're like half naked and just shut your locker so your clothes were in there and you're like that shit was the worst you're like naked and you'd have to like unlock it with like your dick up against the wall because you're trying to like hide it from people like we like what like where we well i mean this could be different from when you were in north carolina but

like at my schools no one in the locker room ever was naked like ever no yeah um charles acevedo he was never naked dude no one in our locker room was ever naked. I looked. I checked. I specifically. Check tape? Brooks every day. God damn it. We're all the naked guys, dude. Fuck.

Yikes. Okay. Brooks was the bathroom attendant of his middle school locker room. He's like, I got these mechanical pencils. These are going to cost you a little more. Would you guys like Phoenix or Essence today? But dude, yeah.

No one at our school, I mean, we had showers and stuff too. No one ever used that shit. No, no, no. Not in junior high. In high school, I only showered after swimming because that's what I thought you were supposed to do. You went swimming? Yeah, I sw high in high school in high school i only showered after like swimming because that's what i thought you're supposed to do it made it seem like yeah i swam in high school which is the worst because you had like class periods were like 50 minutes right so you spent 10 minutes 50 minutes like getting changed into your swimsuit showering beforehand

swimming for like 30 minutes and then and you want about embarrassing like the time in your life even like early in high school like people are still like self-conscious so like yeah let's doggy paddle and play rugby in the in the pool it was awful i hate swimming class did you guys because it's not a thing around here do you guys all have pools at your high school not north carolina this thing it's like a thing i just i always thought that was like some movie shit and the idea of it always was like fascinating to me because no schools around here have pools yeah when i came to penn state my like summer session everyone that i met was from like philly and like pittsburgh they all had pools because they all were like on like the water polo team for their like high school

and they all were like really good at swimming and I'm a little toddler and like can barely swim. So it was like, great. Awesome. Cool. One of the like ongoing jokes that all like anyone would say to a freshman is like, oh, did you go see the pool on the fourth floor? And it's like, it doesn't exist, but they would get freshmen to walk around the school trying to find it like idiots. My shop teacher. That's such a good prank, bro.

That's such a good prank. No, it's like every single year they do it. Like I'm sure they still do it, it's like every single year they do it. Like I'm sure they still do it, which I don't know who falls for it, but apparently people do. My shop teacher would get freshmen to go find fallopian tube for him because he's like in the shop.

It's just like a tubing type of thing. And like, dude, you're a freshman. You should know what a fallopian tube is. Like we learned that in like fifth grade. And every year a kid would walk around. What is it? It's where the eggs come down from the ovaries to the uterus i think that's fire yeah i think that's good yeah i think

but yeah so he would send him to like the biology teacher too because like obviously they knew what it was and they would play along every year and one of them came to my class one year and i knew that the joke was happening and it was just it was so good do you do you think there was a mr or mrs fallopian that found the tube or do you think that's like a medical term for like something that it does like it fallops the egg down no no it started in the philippines oh okay nice nice what do you mean started what the fuck is going on it was discovered there. It's native to the Philippines. Okay, but Philippines starts with a PH.

Have I been spelling fallopian wrong this entire time? Is it PH? Fallopian? Like fat? The name comes from a Catholic priest and anatomist, Gabriel Filippio. Other anatomical structures are also named after i kind of liked the philippines thing um go ahead i'll keep looking hold on he is italian

so i'm gonna say he's probably from italy and not but he moved to the philippines vacation home in took a gap year so yeah hey we we do our research on this podcast okay we all educational this is an educational podcast now okay please tell your teachers play us after bill nye in a science class you'll learn please do that and uh get usicated. We can be on like true TV or something or any channel. What channel would you want to be on? If we could be on any TV channel, food network, apparently can make a lot of money, man.

Yeah. Food network. Uh, PBS, the CW. No, CW is so bad. I like to be on a channel three where it was all static but it got the vhs's to play when you put it on channel three i'm not gonna lie we're you guys i think

i think you guys are all beautiful i think we're we're all attractive we are not hot enough to be on cw to be on a cw you literally have to be one of the hottest people that exists. Dude, have you seen Riverdale? Every person in Riverdale is a 10. Boy, girl, mom, dad, bus driver, doesn't matter. Everyone's hot.

If you add us all up, we're basically a 10. Not enough. I can carry a good two or three. Not enough. Two and a quarter i i would like us on i would like us on lifetime yeah lifetime lifetime would be good we could be very dramatic lifetime we could lifetime if we were on lifetime we could say literally fucking anything on this podcast and it would be super or super chill. History Channel. All they do is talk about aliens and Bigfoot. I feel like we could fit right in there.

ABC Family specifically around 25 Days of Christmas. What about Spike? Between the hours of 1 a.m. and 3 a.m. In between the Girls Gone Wild ads. Are we just accompanying those ads? What's the real show yeah because for for 12 year old korean beef over here i watched spike for the commercials oh 100 man that was like a prime sleepover activity with your budget we got to stay up to one that's when the ads come on where you learn about fallopian tubes for the first time false

all right what do we want to talk about hot lunch zach you got something about hot lunch let's change the topic yo breakfast for lunch or dinner stinks get the pancake wrap and sausage out of my life why like because i eat breakfast i don't want to i don't want to double breakfast how do you feel about breakfast in general go breakfast in general is fine between the hours of eight and if breakfast between the hours of like seven and ten and then brunch is obviously a whole different category but regular breakfast i'm cool if you're referring to breakfast as fine then you're wrong in the first place because breakfast is the best exactly yeah no it's yeah it's great it's great but i just

don't want it for lunch i don't want the sausage corn dog pancake thing like at about 12 30 p.m microwaved in my school cafeteria like yeah we'll have something better i don't know what that is. Zach, I don't know if you know this, but you're in your late 20s. You don't have to go to your old school's cafeteria for lunch anymore, okay? They stopped letting me in.

I'm banging on the doors violently. They won't let me in. He's the bathroom attendant. Exactly. He's got to make his wage somehow. Well, how did your hot lunches work? Because for us, we had like every month we would get a schedule.

And it would say like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, here's the options the options are you gonna buy hot lunch or not and if you didn't can i ask something yeah this is elementary school right not middle school and up no it's well i went to i went to a school from like where everything junior high middle school elementary school was all in one like from preschool to eighth grade was all that's terrifying so it was run the same so you're beating up kindergartners in eighth grade? Yes. Okay.

Are kindergartners 10 years old? What grade are they 10 years old? 10 years old is like fourth grade or something. I know, is kindergartners like fifth, five year and six year olds, I think? No, no. First graders are like five and six, right? We were in fifth grade in 2005.

I was born in 1993. So you're 13 in fifth grade. So second graders. So you're beating up second graders based on the prompt from last week. Waves of 10. Easy. In the cafeteria, you probably already did that. Take a little tray, pop them on the head.

They get knocked out pretty quick. That's actually assault. Hitting a second grader with a lunch tray over their head when you're an eighth grader no no you're getting charged as an adult for that buddy no dude we're back in like the 1970s it's just called bullying and like you just get like an hour of detention and you're good how old do you think we are no i said this is the 1970s we're going back in time for this hypothetical. My question, why do you specify hot lunch? Did you have cold lunch?

Also true. That's what it was called when you ordered it from the school. It was like, do you want hot lunch? And then that's what you would buy. Why wouldn't it just be called lunch? Did they have pre-made sandwiches or something? No, I got it. It was literally you would get what

was scheduled for that day or you had to bring your own lunch there was no other i know what it was it's called hot lunch because the teachers would hand them all food that would get progressively hotter and they would ask them harder and harder questions to see if they could answer them when the foods get hotter it this camera that camera that camera tell the people we have going on that's what it was welcome to hot lunch the show with hot lunch and even hotter exam questions i know that's not the line but for some reason in my head i was just the show with hotter lunch and even hotter lunch okay so the bathroom attendant is actually what's his name sean michaels it's not sean michaels

that's the sean evans sean michaels that's the guy who sings our heartbreak that's this that's the guy from the wv guy yeah if you've ever seen Shawn Michaels in his entrance, he's always like dancing around and shit. I just picture him. Now I'm picturing him in a fucking elementary school bathroom. Just like dancing around and handing shit out to kids, man. He's making a list.

He's literally making a list, dude. Him just serving sweet chin music to all the drunk kids. Just like, bang, dead. Oh, shit. Just in a lunch lady outfit. him just serving sweet chain music to all the drunk kids just like bang dead just in a lunch lady outfit oh my god incredible so all right hot lunch is essentially lunch we all agree yeah it's just yeah it's like the mic is just mike it's just an adjective they throw on the front. I was a little geeky boy, and I just made my lunch, so I never was able to enjoy the hot one. We all know my lunch deal. You would go around.

You ate your four PB&Js minus the J. Then you would also go steal breadsticks from everybody so you'd have as many of those as you possibly can. And then you'd go up to the last person on the table and be like, you can eat that? And they're like, ugh. And they'll give it to you. Then you rolled your way to math class. That's my guy. Got it.

I was off with Choco Tacos three years later. Oh, I forgot it. I'm sorry. When I didn't get hot lunch, Mama Kirshner would sometimes boil hot dogs in the morning, then roll them up in foil, and then I would eat them later. And they were definitely cold. They were very lukewarm and she'd pack like buns and then i would eat like very cold hot dogs for lunch i i need to call out my mom real quick she would make

me hot pockets are you gonna fire is she gonna be part of the chuck fights oh uh chuck mayberry chuck beth mayberry i don't know yeah yeah that's close to amy that's short for amy um she would make hot pockets she'd microwave them in the morning put them in tinfoil and expected that Beth Mayberry? I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's close to Amy. That's short for Amy. She would make Hot Pockets. She would microwave them in the morning, put them in tinfoil, and expected that to keep them hot for another six hours. So I would open them at lunch, and it's just like a melted Hot Pocket that's ice cold. I'm just like, ugh. Tasty, dude.

This is horrible. And I don't think we had a microwave to reheat stuff. Worst lunch ever. Should have gone to Zach's school, too. I never told her though. They have hot lunches there. Well, of course, of course he didn't have a microwave or else everybody would have hot lunch.

It's not a privilege anymore. Only one kid in each class gets hot lunch each day. And it's based on how many 10 year olds they killed in that morning. Jesus. Did you guys ever have any like restaurants catered in for like, for like fundraisers? So like we would have. Where did you go ever have any uh like restaurants catered in for like for like fundraisers so like

we would have you go to school you know and catering hot lunch you had bathroom attendance come on on friday we would have to like raise money for the every friday order every friday no they would have like dominoes brought in so so you could get dominoes on Friday. No. That's such bullshit. Is your school in debt? Are they a domino supplier? Fucking bullshit. Where did you go to school? The school makes all the Nike shoes,

and it's the source of all the child labor for them. Such bullshit. No, you could get, I got two pieces of sausage pizza, two orange pops, and an ice cream sandwich, and that was my lunch on friday damn also your school we get sausage pizza if we ever had pizza that shit was either straight cheese or like four pepperonis on the entire pizza because they got it from the shittiest pizza place in our area yeah your school uh different than our

schools man yeah fuck off man well that's why i thought this would be a more uh engaging topic but apparently i'm the only one who had hot lunch we had hot we had hot lunches at our school they were just there's they're good i don't even know what to say it's just gonna be the food's gonna be hot like you're not specifying hot lunch every day there was hot lunch like hot lunch i'm just i made this for you i don't i don't i don't even know what to say to this were you guys big thermos people too do you ever bring a thermos yes oh mama mayberry uh i can forgive her for the hot pockets because she would make me spaghettios put that in a thermos, that stayed hot.

That was dope. You're out there just drinking SpaghettiOs? Hell yeah. My mom would make ramen noodles, but she would dump all the water out. So she would just dump the noodles in and then you literally could turn it over and it would come out in like the cylinder of the thermos. And I could eat it like a burrito. Ew. Is that good or was it horrible it was it made it interesting it's

like noodle goop yeah exactly exactly also i feel like the trick of the trade at the lunch table was the art of the trade the art of the deal when i learned where i refined my business skills was at the lunch table learning what to trade oh yeah my mom would pack me like a piece of candy in every lunch and i'd always trade it for like a slice of pizza French bread or a Frenchman middle school French bread pizza is What about when was last time you guys That's another level but obviously like it wasn't staying frozen while you're in elementary school So that was like at

our school we had a special freezer for all the kids to put their gogurt it was it was called hot gogurt lunch we had a kombucha okay we didn't have gogurt you did kombucha outside when you're walking into class you just like put your thermos under it kombucha fountain sounds like the album title for our band of houseboat food truck such a good band name also who came up with the name who was like at the marketing meeting at big yogurt was like we're gonna call this go gert like what a gross name like yeah just just because you're on the go the gert in general it's always gonna sound icky to me yeah like i'm gonna i'm going to gird all over you.

Yo, Go-Gurt's even better. Do you think bathroom attendants should have Go-Gurt as well? Yo, if they had frozen Go-Gurts, I would not leave the bathroom. Any kind of snack in general, that would be fantastic. Some Go-Gurt, some Icy Pops, go back to the dance floor, just like both in each hand. I would not leave the bathroom for two reasons. One, because I just keep eating the Go-Gurts, and I just have to keep relieving

myself of all the Go-Gurt I've been eating. Go squirt, am I right? At the Go-Squirts. I got more yogurt talk. Hold on. Tricks. Tricks yogurt, better than Go-Gurt. Fight me on that one. Nobody should.

Nobody should fight you. Fight me on that one. Oh, yogurt? Yeah, nobody should fight you. Alright, love me on that one. Can you clip the clip of you saying more yogurt talk? Yeah, we're going to replay that one a lot in the future. Yeah, it's going to come up a lot. It'll be disgusting. It'll be important. Alright, we ready to transition into more school talk that's not about girding people it's

girding i have a question can we just rank one through ten instead of tier list and like all have to agree on our list from one through ten why can't we just tier listen tier listening takes less thought which I'd rather do no it doesn't if we rank them then we're like oh we have to put them in between this and this or like this like tier listing you can just throw it in tier yeah

but like no let's do 1 through 10 because we have to even 10 if you're gonna ask and then I say I would rather do this and then you say no we're gonna do this don't ask in the first fucking place please just say okay this is how it's gonna be people who can put in their opinions just say how it's gonna be please yeah i'm gonna do majority rule i'm gonna agree with rooks i have a teared out so we're gonna do two all right bitch i'm not prepared

but i love it i'm gonna do it on the spot question though can we all like how often did you have pe because i thought everybody had pe like all like pretty much every we had in in in high school we had it every other day because we had a and b days so we would like swap our schedules and then i can't really remember like middle school but it was kind of the same thing like we had PE from kindergarten all the way through like senior year of high school so in my elementary school we had it like once a week middle school we had it every day every day and then high school I had one semester of all high school yeah really oh no so I was more like Corey I think I had it in like elementary and junior high i think we had it at least at least two or three times a week if not every day and then high school i think i had it

two or three times a week at least twice a week elementary school for me we had it once a week and then middle school you would have it um every day and then and then in middle school and high school also we would have it every day, but there was like in high school, there was generic PE, which is just like, they changed the sport. But then we also had like,

excuse me, we had like weightlifting basketball class where you only play basketball. Like we had specific, specific classes like that. And then we also had to take one like quarter of health each, every year true true true all right so we got a list of 10 of our favorite pe games i guess not favorite just the most common ones that we could think of from elementary school through high school

that we're going to do a tier list for so rook, give them the rundown on what a tier list is. So you don't know. We're going to take each one and put it through tiers S to F. So S being the best, F being the worst. It's outside of S, it's just regular grading. So A, B, C, D, E, F. Corey's not going to use the E tier because he's an asshole. Heck no. I'm also not using the E tier.

That's my boy right there. All right. So Zach is also an asshole. Wait, is this the the E tier. That's my boy right there. Zach is also an asshole. Wait, is this the first time we've tier listed where me and Zach were together? On not using the E tier? Oh, you guys are together? Congrats. We're going on five years now. And we're just going to put... I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry.

Another Chuck we could use? I'm done. Sorry, Rooks. You guys go ahead. Talk it out. Are we all done here? Are we done? I just wanted to make a Chuck joke again.

I'm sorry. Go ahead. Bitches. But yeah, we're just taking all of these 10 things, putting them in tiers. We are going to go one game at a time. And we can talk about two of the game beforehand, let people know. We can discuss about the game beforehand, let people know.

We can discuss between us what we think it is. Yeah. First one. Matball. Somebody take it away. My question for this is, do we want to do... Because this game is kickball, right? It's kickball,

but with mats, right? Yeah. But with mats, but then you go around multiple times. And then you go around back in order to score. So you have to like the correct way and then the reverse way in order to score. So I remember going around the bases twice and I could be wrong with how we did it. But I don't remember people going backwards. I think it was like we had to go around the bases.

Yeah, I think either way. Regardless, mat ball is kickball where multiple people are running around the bases, right? It's like your team is at least 50. It's a nutty group of people. You can have more than one people on the base, all that good stuff. Fuck it. We'll keep kickball with

this. We don't need to do them separate. In my opinion, mat ball is probably just a better version of kickball right yep yeah i would agree with that i'm gonna throw map ball b tier it was a really fun game it was great time enjoyed it a lot but your boy sucks at kicking especially kickball like kickball i always wanted to kick the ball as hard as as hard as possible you know i you know I'm a home run hitter when it comes to kickball but I'm not good at kicking things so I'd always just hit little P rollers up to the third baseman

it was bad so I'm throwing mat ball B tier great game great idea just not very good at it poor execution I agree and I agree even lower I put it at d because i'm very unathletic and like you said i just like i would just pop fly the ball every time and it's just no fun when

you just always get out so uh i'm bad at sports uh that's the only reason i put this as s tier i think this is like the best the best game that you could get in gym class i think it it um i'm a big fan of i think it's a game that where everybody regardless of their skill level can have some sort of input and so it's not like you have your some people just standing out and doing nothing like you always have to be engaged and active it combines dodge ball too because there's always oftentimes there's pegging heck yeah there is can we refer to that as beaming just you know so we don't get tons of sound bites of us saying the word pegging lots of pegging no we're gonna bring it back around we're gonna bring the term pegging back to the way it was originally stated when we all grew up. Back in old times, pegging was cool.

I also think there's nothing cooler than when you're able to avoid said peg in the middle of the bases, and you're able to do a cool juke, jive, or jump, and then and triple j it just dodge triple jump or you can i feel like you look super swaggy like catching a pop fly like not looking at it and catching just impress all your all your crushes in the in the sixth grade i just feel like it's a it's a complete game that combines a lot of these other things we're gonna tear later so i am on the same page as zach i but i going to put it as A because there's some other ones on this list that I hold higher, I think. But so I agree, completely agree with what Zach said. I feel like everybody's like included in it. Like so we would do it where it was at our high school.

We would do it for like your classes. Like I was telling Brian this weekend for our homecoming where they, like, pit each class against each other. Like, one of the things we did was one game of mat ball between, like, each grade. And it was, like, teams of, like, 50 to, I don't know, like, 60 people. And everybody, no matter what, like, your skill level was, at least did something. Like, kicking randomly like people in gym class when we were playing you could have a conversation and all of a sudden there's a ball just like headed your way and somebody would catch it also to your point about dodging a

small guy over here actually was really good at it so i'm i was like you know i want to play anytime i go to gym class. It was our rainy day game. If we're supposed to go outside and gym and we couldn't play, we'd just be like, oh, I guess we're going to play map all today. People would get hyped about it. It'd be like third period

and you'd have it in fifth. You'd see rain coming down the window. Everyone would be like, it's map all day, baby. Get ready. Base those calves up. Base those cams up. So baseball's boring already, and then you have like 40 people in the outfield because your class is huge, so there's no way for you to not pop

the ball up and not get out. Line drive or bust, baby. That's what you have to do. If the unathletic kids have anything to do, I just want to be competitive and punch a kid in the face while we're playing a sport. Just kick a line drive at them, man. If you want to see some injuries, that's all you got to do.

That requires a little bit of coordination, which I don't have. Especially not when I was in elementary school, which is the last time I played. So what's your tier? All right. Oh, I said D. I came back around because I had more thoughts. I said it. Also, Brian, we I had more thoughts. I said it. Also, Brian, we're combining that with kickball.

So mat ball and kickball. Yeah, we're not going to do it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's the same sport. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right.

So the next one on the list, dodgeball. I wish I had a dodgeball clip. Oh, I do have a dodgeball clip. Fitness consigliere. Me too. Guys, there was a time in elementary school rooks you should remember this i don't know if it was fourth or fifth grade it was a hella freezing winter and every time we had pe we had to be inside for like five months straight and the only game we played

was dodgeball and man we got freaking good at it. I feel like kids were like a Neo Matrix, like bending over backwards, dodging balls. We were all so good in like competitive. And like maybe some kids weren't and they hated it the whole time. But like, I loved it. It was a great time. One of my best moments of like fourth or fifth grade was that period of like PE time.

S tier. I'm going to piggyback off that. Didn't remember that until you talked about it and now i vividly remember it yeah dodgeball's s tier let's there's there's no place to settle settle business with people better than dodgeball it's a game that you're playing all together in front of teachers there's no there's no like oh that was too rough and like oh like the teacher didn't see like no the teacher is watching me throw a randy johnson 95 mile per hour fastball into another kid's throat like i'm gonna do that and i feel like we use like the old school legit dodgeballs it wasn't

a little soft oh no yeah we use like the rubber ones like the kickball ones yeah it was sick it was great yeah dodgeballs s tier it's super it's not hard to talk about why it's it's it's it's you're just killing other people like you're just literally the awesome part you guys are talking about map ball with dodging stuff too that's here and it's constant dodging it's not running around the bases wait for something to kick no it is just constantly dodging and as i said there's just nothing better that one kid in your class doesn't shut up bothers you like just the worst obnoxious kid call him out by name call him out by name starts a beef what's the i was gonna try to say the kid that you talked about last week fuck i don't remember his name joel Copeland. Fuck you, Joel Copeland. We're boxing next month.

There's nothing better than just rearing back, hitting him in the face, and just seeing a little bit of pain in their eyes. And that's what dodgeball gave to me. I'm going S too. I completely agree with what these guys are saying again the whole dodging love it it is like settling with score like it's it's gladiator like it's like you're going in the ring and you're just you're just gonna get it done you know so there's gonna be a solution maybe you'll win maybe you'll lose, you know, you're going to go to your next class and be like, I can't get mad with what happened.

The other thing I'll add in is when we were in elementary school and played, we would do like, they would like try to make it fun for the kids. Cause like, you know, not every kid is super down to play dodgeball. So they would do like, they made it like a star Wars theme and put other like aspects into it where it was like there was one person who had a pool noodle that could defend people with the pool noodle. And they were like the Jedi. It was a whole thing. We had that too.

But it was like really cool. We would just call it Star Wars. So like I never I don't think I ever straight up played dodgeball until like high school because we would like we would in all my elementary school. That's what it was called it was like we're playing star wars today and it was but it was the same thing it was dope it was the best yeah i we did the exact same thing we had star wars too um so i put this a tier so i'm pretty much right there with you guys the only thing that i think prevents i think i had a little skewed person uh view on it because we didn't play with the dodgeballs we put with like the the plush phone where you could like squeeze all the air out of

it and then it was more like a wiffle ball and you just throw your arm out before you throw like with before you threw it hard the other thing that i think i i put this a tier instead of s tier is just the fact that i'm a man of integrity and there's just too many cheaters at dodge when you clearly hit them and the teacher didn't see it and they're like no you didn't hit me you didn't hit me and they would stay in and then they would end up like beating your team because the guy didn't stay in i think there's just a little too much because there's so much going on and if you just have one p teacher watching they can't see everything at all times whereas map ball is a little focused on the the one ball and the one kicker so i just

think like in terms of like logistics and and you know refereeing the integrity of the game i feel like that's where dodgeball falls again great game it's a tier for me it's not like i'm saying it's f tier or anything but i just think it's slightly i like i prefer map ball which is why it's s tier compared to a having the real dodgeballs would change that because you get hit hard with a real dodgeball everyone hears it and you can't deny that it happened because you got a giant wealth on nothing beats the noise of getting someone getting whacked with a dodgeball. But hey. We're whacking people.

We're pecking people. We're moving on. Next on the list, we got scooters. So if y'all don't know what the scooters are, it's like a little piece of plastic. It's got two handles on each side, four wheels in the corners. It's like... Can we specify what is scooters to you? two handles on each side, four wheels in the corners. It's like, so can we,

can we specify what is scooters to you? Like, like we, like, I know what it is, but are we saying like you go to gym class, they're on the floor and that's scooters. And we did like,

or was there like an organized, we did like relay races. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Well,

it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what you do with these scooters. Cause these are-tier it's an f-tier thing oh no one likes these they are like six foot two and they are what your pounds just couldn't know i mean no this was back when i was a little short king it was uh oh they're too big for your feet couldn't touch the ground when you're they were i don't know what this is teaching in terms of like physical like exertion you're just kind of like motoring around. Like you're one of the fat people from Wally. And it's like,

and like, they're just, they're just a menace to your fingers. They're just like, hi, do you want to get your finger smushed all day in gym class? Like, yeah,

here, here are these like plastic scooters for you to do. And like the games do like really like, okay, when we do like a relay race, like, or like, then you do like kickball with like,

I'm like, it was just like, I feel like those were like the gym teacher was like, we need to spice it upball with like a it was just like i feel like those were like the gym teacher was like we need to spice it up a little bit let's just do this let's just throw these scooters on there and hopefully no one dies and then and that it just had no thought it was dumb hated them after year man so i agree that the worst part is rolling over your fingers because for some reason there's handles but i don't know why i just would always let go of them because I was a little idiot when I was in elementary school Apparently and you roll over your fingers so often brother than that fun. I don't know feel like you could go fast

I couldn't run that quick when I was little but like I could push myself around on some wheels go pretty fast Can I like bumper cart people? They're alright, so I give them a B tier because like there's other things that i was worse at it's a sport or activity that i wasn't you didn't have to be coordinated to do it you just kind of like kick your feet and then you're good it's a pretty even playing field i'm gonna go so i was not a big fan of scooters we i've said it a million times i was a thick boy man thick boys and scooters they don't really mix very well you know what i'm saying i i could not fly around on a scooter so when we would do relay races i would be i would be a weak link on the team didn't enjoy them fucked my fingers up a lot too i'm throwing this e tier oh i i didn't have a good

time on the scooters i'm not putting them f tier because they were a nice change of pace here and there sometimes it would just be oh we need a break from this stuff so it was a cool change of pace and then after 10 minutes i realized oh yeah i hate this but for the first 10 minutes you know super exciting but i threw an e tier yeah i'm going i'm going d because i don't have an e um but for all the same reasons it's like there's so many other things on this list that i would rather do so if i were to go into the into the gymnasium that day and i saw the scooters out i'd be a little disappointed and i feel like if i'm a little disappointed looking at one of these games I can't put it C or above because C is a neutral thing like I don't know it was fine but usually it also like mattered what else was part of the relay because the scooter was going to be

someone pushing you I feel like was part of it and then that's when you would have your fingers rolled over like it's like the most I could see out of that, that you would learn is like teamwork. We never had people push. That was, that is, that is a recipe for disaster. Having one kid push another kid on one of those scooters. Probably why it ended up D for me.

Sounds like you guys are bad at little, the little back pedal that you have to do. And you guys just didn't go fast enough. That's what I'm going to blame it on. You guys are just slow underrated but anyway man so moving on fourth one on the list the parachute i don't know what else you kind of call it it's just the parachute you kind of just wiggle it around the whole class they throw some balls on the top every once in a while bounce those things off can i go on the inside and have a little powwow i have to say i think

it depends on how old you are it goes from like s tier to f tier pretty quick it gets it slowly starts dropping down i don't think we did this past second grade but man in kindergarten this thing was s tier it was the absolute best because like i don't know it's just it was huge you're like two foot tall at this point this thing was like 75 it was the absolute best because like i don't know it's just it was huge you're like two foot tall at this point this thing was like 75 feet around so it was like ginormous i gave it a tier purely just of nostalgia because like you loved it no one has ever you can't be sad while you're sitting there waving this parachute thing back and forth like it just it doesn't happen so a tier i don't know i have it as f because i completely

i completely agree i completely first of all i'm not five years old ranking me so this would be completely different if i was oh you're the wrong mindset but i just i don't remember doing anything except waving it up and down and somebody would run under. And also like when I'm at that age, there's so many things that entertain me because I'm a little kid. Like I would just rather probably go outside and do recess and play around the playground. You know, maybe get my fingers run over by a scooter. I don't know. I just I don't know.

It wasn't I'm sure I was happy because i was in gym but i don't remember ever being like thank god the rainbow parachute is out today cool like let's go line up boys we're all gonna just throw it up in the air that's our day today for an hour i would have hated you in kindergarten do not talk to me in miss davis's class okay moving we have wait hold on we have another boxing fight set up now we're going back in time you two kindergartners throwing the fuck down i got it i had a couple inches on cory in kindergarten probably you don't you don't know my height but yeah you did probably i let's find some old school ids or something like some identa kids if you think i'm short now man they did not think i was gonna grow when i was in kindergarten

it was like it was like we need to track this kid's height oh wait don't you have hold on don't you have little pencil markings in your house fuck yeah i do yeah i'm 27 i got them. The day my parents paint over that is the day I burn that house to the ground. Call your dad. Check tape. Say, Dad, 2002, second grade, how tall was I? Honestly? I need to know.

Honestly? We can get that. We can get that information. Because specifically? We're talking about cue questions. We're talking about women's bathroom attendance, and we're talking about how tall Corey was in second grade. It's going to be a banger. From a kid who thinks he's never going to grow. I'm tracking that thing once a month.

So I know like 2000, little 2000 year me has that marked up. Dude, what month do you want? We talking December? We talking, what are we talking, April? Oh, start of school, August. When do you think, hold on, when do you think we're gonna be playing Parachute in gym class? Oh, August. Because we need to get real specific.

You gotta come back hot. That's gonna be the first game you're playing. It's a crowd favorite. Alright, sorry, Zach. We cut you off. I'm sorry. No, I have it at D tier. I think, I don't know. I think it's just, i think i vaguely remember us doing some weird like parachute red rover combo where like you and the other person across from

the parachute would like lift it like you lift it up and you have to run to the other side and like catch the parachute like i guess that was fun the only thing i guess i could i could spin zone this to why it's d and not f is the fact that like maybe you're like standing next to like like the girl you've been crushing on you can kind of weirdly almost closely hold hands so like i'm like yeah i guess that's the thing you can kind of do but that's why i mean other than that it's it's a parachute how into girls were you in like second yeah i was not i was not on my radar and in kindergarten well i don't know i feel like i feel like the parachute again like permeate like again that was like they're pulling out all the stops probably maybe part of a relay race like maybe in like fourth or fifth grade you'll get a you'll

get a rogue parachute appearance so not that it was like a uh a frequent things but you know i am i'm with y'all on this parachute is kind of ass um oh you all so i'm putting guys get into the mindset of elementary school come on okay i'm I'm going to humor burn a little with this. I'm putting it C tier. You know, C is average. Let's go. It's going to correlate, you know, as every year. So like kindergarten, S tier.

First grade, A tier. Second grade, B tier. And then it starts like... You're going to get real close to F. You go year by year. I know, but I'm saying I'm going to take the average. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to keep it right in the app. You go in here by, but I'm saying, I'm saying like, I'm going to take the average, you know what I'm saying? I'm going to keep it right in the middle.

Agree. It was, it's the same thing as scooter for me. Oh, cool. Change the pace. This is fun. And then I'm bored of shit.

Like we're just watching balls go up and down in the middle of this fucking parachute. That's tight. Like, no, it's not. It's, it's lazy fucking teaching.

Guys, you expect too much of your attention span when you're in second grade that thing could entertain you for three hours and you guys are lying to yourselves yeah but like we're ranking all of the pe games right we're tier listing them so all the pe games which all are going to capture my attention because i'm not having a book in front of me or whatever, like whatever the hell I was doing. They're all like, that's not my question that I need to answer. I am going to go back in time and talk to second grade you. If he disagrees, I'm going to punch him in the face. I'll be one of those.

I'll be one of those 10 year olds trying to kill you in the first round. You're one of my 10. olds trying to kill you in the first round you're one of my 10 nine more to go all right fifth one on the list capture the flag absolute banger of a game we played this a lot it was more of a field day whoa whoa whoa don't worry we'll call him a fucking idiot in a second just keep talking sorry because we didn't go to school in chicago where we had pools to swim in and like chipotle catered our lunch every day we get to do with a giant open field and a like a sock on the ground that counted as the flag they did go capture so more of a field day game because like you needed a lot of people to play it but it was great because all the scrubs in your class just couldn't actually do anything it was only the fast kids who could actually get around and like score and it's a game where if you score

once it's pretty much over so like if you're the one who actually wins the game for everybody it's kind of like you're big man on campus as zach would say all the girls in third grade are gonna love you because they're like oh no little, you won the game. S tier. I am wholeheartedly with the Braga on this. Catching the flag is fucking S tier, man. There's so many times where people who aren't interested, don't want to play stuff in PE, got super into it. Even your boy.

So Burn's talking about the fast kids winning. You know who wasn't a fast kid? Me. Okay? But you know what I did have? I had a fucking cannon. So, what we would do,

I'd have people distract and then I would go in, I'd get the ball. The rule was you had to take it out of the zone before you could throw it

back to your, like your side. So, I'd run in, get the ball step out launch that motherfucker like literal little giants tiny air uh nick carter throwing throwing the toilet paper rolls just floating in the air perfect dime tom brady that's not capture the flag that's not cap that's not capture the flag it is's not capture the flag, though. It is. So the two rules, you can't throw it from inside the zone,

and you can't throw it back to your half. You have to throw it to somebody before they get to the other half, and then they can catch it and run it over. But I would catch it. So you can do like a forward pass? Yes. Yeah. That's like football.

You're playing football. It's not. Is there a jail in football? Even if it wasn't a ball and it's just a flag is there a jail in football is there a zone where two balls are sitting on both sides of the field in football didn't fucking think so asshole get your own fucking rankings

when it's your turn I'm throwing it S tier it brings teamwork everybody wants to do it and like Burns said the glory of winning capture the flag is unlike anything else s tier i'll i'll keep this this train rolling i'm going s as well the i agree with what they're saying the other things i'll mention is this is one of those games in elementary school that we replicated at recess like we liked it so much yeah like hey we're gonna play capture

the flag which was even more sick because we had like we would hide the much yeah like hey we're gonna play capture the flag which was even more sick because we had like we would hide the flag in like the woods and things like that uh oh i've had oh the other thing it like is one of the only games on this that involves like strategy yeah like which is awesome because it took some coordination. Like whenever if we were going to get my chunky ass into the box to throw the ball, I needed all the fast kids to run and pull the guards away from the zone. I needed to be able to run and get the flag.

People help people. Everybody's got a job. It's hard to get into the box. You've got to deal with some pegging. You've got to deal with some other things. You know, it's all there. Learned early. The thing is in capture the flag aren't you tagging people to get them out so you're saying actually like the the kind of pegging we're not talking about got it okay cool yikes zach bring us down and make us sad

let's get this bullshit over with I have it at B tier I'm not going to be a hard-O it's just the fact that it's called capture the flag so if it's with an actual flag you can't throw a flag you can't throw a flag it wouldn't work very well

like a physical flag that's where I don't get the rules the idea is you go and take the flag and the one person has to run and then if they get tagged they either leave the flag there or bring it back to the base my thing is i have yet to complete an actual game of capture the flag what in pe it's like 30 minutes and then like they divide the teams up evenly so you have three fast kids on one side three fast kids on the other side you probably about eight kids who don't want to play on either team and then two kids who are like the beef boys who set picks and try to and try to block and then it just ends up being like a stalemate every time and it's not fun and

because no because you can't like get a team strategy together it'd be one thing if it was like a league but like i still get the appeal of it and like trying to run around and like it would be hard yeah intermural capture the flag? That would be dope. Free idea. Again, I get the appeal of it. If you can get a good team of everybody that's interested and get some sort of strategy, I think it can be fun,

which is, again, why I put it at B tier. Once you get that perfect game, I think it's fun. I just don't think you consistently get good games of capture the flag in your standard PE class with your Joe Schmoes who don't care about PE. I kind of agree. It's more of a field day game where you can have like 50 kids on each side and it's like a big old thing to deal with.

So there's actually like an even amount of like fast kids and it's like it's not just a giant open field with two kids running around. But all right, moving on. Next one on the list is handball and if i'm remembering it correctly it's kind of just alternate frisbee but for the ball so like you can you have to pass it and then you can move two steps so that's either that way or people play it like um the same idea except there's goals and you have to throw it past a goalie they have like olympic handball that's the way we did it in like rp it was high school we didn't do it any time younger than that and it was like you have a goalie you can't you have you can jump outside the crease but you have to throw it before you get inside the crease like land inside

but yeah everything else is still the same it's like you you can bounce it and take two steps or you can like if you catch it off of a pass you can take two steps or something okay so this game is cool i remember we played it though in like the small gym in middle school we had like a big auditorium and then a small tiny freaking room so it wasn't like a lot of room to run around so it was a little less fun to me like i would need some space so you can like actually run some picks and run some plays and they're not just trying to like make it pass every like three feet um but i gave it eight here i don't know there's not too much to say about it not enough contact i want to hit somebody i'm gonna go with i'm gonna go with bra guy i it's or well, I'm going to it's the same

generally. I'm putting a beat here. It's a fun game. Good time with everybody. The only thing I don't like my like only knock on it is it does require teamwork and you to work with other people, but not in a sense of capture the flag where you you're just running. It requires you to be have to be able your

teammates have to be able to throw to you and they have to be able to catch which yeah is tough. You't know what you're getting you know what i mean so i'm throwing a b tier solid game but not not the best i have it i have it in my eights here because kind of similar reasons like good game you can kind of be like shafted if you get people who don't move and get open, because that's the epitome of this game. Otherwise, you're just standing there with a ball and not doing anything. But I peaked in high school when we did a handball charity tournament,

and we were, like, friendly with- Charity? Yeah, it was, like, it was- Why is that questioning to you? Fucking charity, dude? Yeah. You got this shit to help people? How are you raising money? Are people buying tickets to watch you play handball?

You can keep speculating, and I can tell you. No, no, no. I'm going to speculate. So it was like outside of the actual class, but we were like friendly with our PE teachers because they were like the coaches of the teams that we had at the high school. And it was like $5 per player and you would like put together a team but they had to be no they didn't have to be people in your own class but you know majority it was because the kids you

knew were in your own class or whatever so again it's like seniors are freaking like destroying the freshmen or whatever but we played and we convinced our strength and conditioning like football coach to play on our team when we were in freshman year and I was the goalie and we made it to like the championship against like the quarterback of the football team and like all these ridiculous people and there was actually like a pretty big crowd so I like straight up peaked like there were people there that did not know who i was and i left and they were like oh yeah like didn't he play like handball or something like two years ago and i was like yeah that was me i was that guy you're one of rc jacket for handball yeah so like regular regular you know like b but for like one of my favorite memories uh yeah i'll put that

as a uh i have it as b i mean i'll be pretty quick nothing much additional to add it's just basically like dumbed down football and so it's just an easier ball to catch so more people can kind of play i know you stop when you catch the ball but and there's a goal i like just the idea of you like people running routes and you throwing them the ball it's just it's fun again it requires as everyone mentioned you know strategy amongst the teammates so if you have willing participants it's fun you don't not so fun so b tier still pretty good all right so three left seventh one eighth one it's the eighth one we got wall ball if someone explained the rules i was trying to remember how it works again and like got confused

talking in the group and you brought up hitting people with the ball that's a variation of wall ball that we used to call butts up so wall ball is yeah you're all throwing a tennis ball or a baseball against a wall and it's coming back if it touches anybody and they don't catch it they have to run and touch the wall before someone throws the ball and it hits the wall yeah um so the butt the butt's up version would be if you get instead of you being out you would have to say the word turn you have to turn against the wall and have you have like your chest against the wall so your like butt was up and then say they would peg the ball at you lord have mercy i'm about to bust god damn it but yes that's wobble i don't know i i look at this more as a recess game than a like i don't

know if we ever play this in like pe organized but i mean recess recess it was pretty solid i'm putting it um i'm putting wobble at a tier i really enjoyed it it was a really fun game even like as i said you know chonk boy but i had a good arm so i could win sometimes it was a good game yeah i have it at b tier because i remember us playing at recess in elementary school like every fucking every fucking specific wall one specific wall and one patch of like where grass used to be but now it's just straight dirt because people just played wall ball there constantly so it was a thing that happened every single day so it was just a lot of fun and like brooks it's just easy for anyone to play and it's not too hard i can only throw a ball about like five yards and you'd only stand about five

yards from the wall so it's perfect for right up his alley i put it i've same as same as you guys i put it as b i remember the the only thing like that i remember too is sometimes you get people who would like scrape up like i remember scraping up my knees and stuff because we would play on the like uh blacktop and just like people would try to like run at you're running at a wall and you get too into it you're like scrape up your knee or like some people like dig their heads a little bit on the wall but you know solid b like uh i think rook said it's a recess game to me but it was really good yeah it's fine our list is a little a little mixed on games but that's fine yeah yeah i have an a tier two the when you knew you were playing wall ball i I would like get out the eye black, like take my wrist.

Like it was like, it was like no holds bar. It was super serious. And the adrenaline that you would get for when you would like mishandle a ball and drop it and run to the wall, especially if you were playing like the butts up version, get pegged in the butt on the way back. Like with the ball.

If you, if you were playing that game, game the the adrenaline rushing through you like by the time you hit the wall was unparalleled like some of some of the best you know like adrenaline junkie shit that i've that i've yet to experience in other aspects of life so i would say uh wall ball for me a tier it was it was it was some good old-fashioned fun but yeah again i agree more of a recess game. Cause I, it's,

it's, it's, it's tough to do with, uh, also like whipping tennis balls out of each other. It's more of what do you have? Like free time and P and they're like, Hey,

play whatever you want. And you're like, all right, us four people are going to play wall ball. Yeah. All right. Next to last one we have, I'll keep it short as freeze.

Can I, can I, can we, I was thinking about this. So freeze i in like i it was my suggestion to put something more tag related can we replace freeze tag with sharks and minnows because sharks and minnows is like a version of freeze tag and that's like only pe is the only time you ever play sharks and minnows that's freeze tag freeze tag was gonna be f tier for me any any any game that involves just running and it just and that's the objective is terrible but sharks and minnows when you guys play

sharks and minnows were you out if you got tagged or were you like just standing there and you could like tag people standing yeah yeah you were you were like like what algae yeah i forgot what the fuck yeah whatever can we explain the rules of it real quick i definitely played it i just haven't played in so long everyone lines up on one side of the gym there's one or depending on how many sharks you do there's people in the middle all you're trying to do is run to the other side and the sharks in the middle if they tag you you have to freeze where you are and then from there you can tag people but okay the sharks like the whole point is to be the last one across like at the end of the game after everyone else has been

tagged running across oh i said but there's only one shark right or i guess you get it depends sometimes i've seen people do like two but yeah a flock of sharks you might say okay hong kong and then at the end of the at the end of the game the last blank amount of people left is the shark for the next one yeah exactly yeah gotcha okay um i'm throwing sharks and minnows i'm thrown at a sharks and minnows it's a classic game like i don't think there was any point where the teacher said we're gonna do sharks and minnows and i was like oh fuck that game sucks and like i would say that to my teachers all the time in elementary school um but no i was i was always happy to play and it's even though i wasn't the best at it i still really enjoyed it and then

you're just you're hoping it's because like i'm never gonna win so i was always hoping that i would get to be the shark off rip like the first person because like you wouldn't have to win they would just tell you you're the shark and it happened i think i think it only happened once but man that was i fucking i like wrote about that in like my class later i told my fucking parents a diary it's like you guys i fucking made it it's on my resume currently like i posted about on linkedin last night like it's fine it's it's it was a good it's a good day but i'm i'm I'm throwing Sharks and Minnows A tier. I'll put it S tier. This was like a go-to.

This was our tag. We didn't play straight up tag. I guess freeze tag kind of, but this was whenever I think of elementary school or PE games, I think elementary school games. And this one was on the rotation all of the time and it was great this was the one where it's like you're just coming back drenched and you're chugging water and nobody's gonna understand anything for the rest of the day because people

are just exhausted it was for me it was the best shout out miss mcconaughey elementary school shout out bell top east green bush we like you we're not calling about our q questions we we like you we're not going to set up a boxing match we like you yeah we like you but yeah i i just loved it i don't know i don't know it was great it was chaos there's so much chaos too sometimes you can see people get tripped up by little people on the ground and they would just like eat shit that was there were a lot there were always a lot of injuries in sharks and minnows which also gives me more respect for it because it's it's not a game where people should be getting hurt and people always

got hurt playing sharks and minnows always they do it for the love of the game exactly i got that eye blackout so when it was originally freeze tag i was gonna say e tier because like that's just a game you play when you're like one year old you're just like you're it don't move okay cool it's not like a game from school everyone's that is a game from one year old it's true but sharks and minnows i still don't like it because i feel like i was slow and like sucked and it reminds me of playing sharks and minnows at the pool where i was even slower and couldn't swim i can barely run but I could definitely not swim fast. And we would play where you could push each other underwater too,

and I just felt like I was drowning all the time. So now 10, 10-year-olds are attacking you, but you're in a pool. How many? Oh, zero. I'm dead. Oh, I'm so dead. There's no shot. He's dead without any of the 10-year-olds coming.

He can't swim. 10-year- olds watching you from the sideline fish out of water style and you're just drowning i'm too embarrassed by all the eyes on me i drown 15 minutes max but so we actually played this in college cory do you remember in jogging class or walking class we played sharks and minnows on the last weeks was this one of the days where i had to sprint after Taco Bell breakfast no no no so that was in jogging class

it was in walking class we were by like the business building out in the middle of the field it was like right outside we actually played Sharks and Minnows I thought we were playing Free Stack that's why I was like no no no

it was Sharks and Minnows I remember like we played that game it was so good it was yeah right outside the business building it was sick it was great

so the last time I played was in college everybody was Narps in our class it was so good it was yeah right outside it was sick it was great so the last time i played everybody was narps in our class it was great yeah it was awesome but it's like c tier i have too much trauma so i can't bring it up um yeah i had freeze tag f tier with the added elements of that we talked about i'll bump this up to C tier. It's basically just like a lamer red Rover, but a better freeze tag. It's a better red Rover. No,

it's a lamer red Rover. Red Rover involves like violence, which I run through like people holding their arms, right? Like they hold their arms together. Yeah. And you say like red Rover and Rover, we call so-and-so over.

And then you try to like, that's just, you know, broken bones left and right yeah exactly irresponsible these hands yeah like these hands work so like come and try to break through them um so yeah i mean like it's it's fun i like that added element better than freeze tag worse than red rover c tier would you you put this what if you how did you play freeze tag? Did you unfreeze people? I know we're talking about Sharks and Minnows, but could you unfreeze people? Yeah. Would you put freeze tag higher,

Zach, if hypothetically we were to be ranking that? If you could unfreeze one of those hotties you liked back in kindergarten? Touch hands. Yeah. The amount of... I'm going gonna say something

moving on to number 10 brian what do we got all right number 10 is zach when you played heads up seven up did you only touch the thumb of the girl you had a crush on i mean yeah obviously like what are we doing here what are you gonna do walk up and jerk their thumb off did you guys did you guys ever cheat in heads up seven no i just didn't care enough about guys i never i don't believe i don't believe no i cheated i didn't care thank you brian okay i don't believe you guys all right the last one the list is knockout i'm be quick because i'm horrible at basketball i gave an f i don't think i made it The last one on the list is Knockout. I'm going to be quick because I'm horrible at basketball. I gave it an F. I don't think I made it past round one ever. All right, Rooks, you're up.

That is perfect. That's great. I'm throwing Knockout. It's a classic, and it's a really easy game to have everyone play it, but I'm going to put it at B tier. It's a good game to get everyone involved, but it just gets kind of messy i hate when people instead of making their shot fuck with your ball and try to throw your

ball away and shit like that like that's when the game starts you you're losing the integrity of the game you know it's disrespectful to it um your boy was nice like i had a jumper so like i would survive but once people started throwing my ball and shit, like it's going to take me 45 minutes to the other end of the fucking basketball court to pick the ball up. Like I'm fucked. It's over. So I'm throwing a B tier.

It's a good game. It's a classic, but it just gets a little messy. I'm going F same reason. Yes, let's go. I have never been once in my life good at basketball nor will i ever be uh i'm putting it c i love basketball i think i'm pretty good at it um but just knock out there's so

many people who aren't good at it that it just takes forever and it's just not fun and it takes like just forever getting to the best people and once you get to the best people it's just over really quick because then either like you may know what they're doing yeah and so it's it's just not it's definitely more of just like a like a jump rope for heart game i don't know if you guys ever did that where it was like yeah jump rope it was like or knockout for heart we did that too so like yeah i was just like i'd rather play regular basketball put it that way so yeah bro there was a three-on-three tournament in elementary school there's basketball that me and like some buddies entered and me and my buddies didn't know the rules of basketball like i didn't know what up down was so like i would just like jump in the air to like shoot

and just like land and be like i'm not gonna shoot because like why would i do that they're gonna block it like blow the whistle i was like what do i do and they like have to explain the rules to me in the middle of the game we lost immediately like three games in a row and just like left it was so you're gonna say that you won no that's the outcome i fully expected i don't think i made a basket it was bad and i never played basketball again i think like the uh the last basketball game i played was in college with like we played pickup once and i tried to pass the ball to someone and just went straight out of bounds and then

I never played again because I was like that's just too bad that three on three turn was fucking serious man for you did you were you on Brian Bucky's team no I lost to Brian Bucky's team there it is I was with like Charles and like Joe Chuck there it is I was with like Charles

and like Joe Whalen Chuck Chuck was on my team let's go oh maybe it was Chuck and it was Stack it was not good dude it was just disgusting and I never played never played again

but hey trauma shout out trauma shout out to those bathroom attendants out there grinding shout out fallopian tubes i guess bragging big shout people want to coach us up on um what i was just talking about there uh how can they reach us in the description of every episode there's a link you'd send us a voice message. Tell us about our Q questions from last week. Tell us about Fallopian tubes.

Zach, you have a question. Go for it. No, I just wanted to shout out Peggy. I want to make sure. Shout out Peggy. Shout out Peggy. Shout out getting into a box somewhere. Shout out Southwest.

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