It’s Wednesday My Dudes - Ep 28: We Get Cancelled?

Episode Date: August 11, 2021

The boyos talk through the best sports/activities they want added to the Olympics, Zak gives a recap of the Lollapalooza shenanigans, and we say some questionable things that might get us cancelled. Timestamps: 0:00:00 - 0:25:51 - Intro / Weekly Recap 0:25:51 - 0:39:52 - Lollapalooza Recap 0:39:52 - 1:02:52 - Olympics Questions to Ponder Rate us 5 stars! Leave a review!  Follow on Social Media! and Find Other Places to Listen!

It is Wednesday, my dudes. Welcome back to another episode of It's Wednesday, My Dudes. We got a good one for you. Bogogi Beef is out this week, but we got Corey. It me. We're having some minor struggles with technology today, so we may be passing the torch back and forth a little bit with some freezing going on with our internets. Freeze tag.

I was playing freeze tag. Yeah. It's an online game of freeze tag virtually where nobody can see us. That sounds tough. I'm in. Blindfolded freeze tag would be so hard. You know how many injuries there would be

of just running into walls and stuff? Do you think there's, have you ever seen a blind person play tag? Like, do you think there's have you ever seen a blind person play tag like do you think there's a way that there's like i don't know like an event for blind people to play tag well have you seen i think we're gonna into olympics talk later maybe yes when they run when they run in the paralympics when they run track the blind people they have the person right next to them also running and that's what how i track, the blind people, they have the person right next to them also running. And that's how I imagine you play freeze tag.

You just have a person running next to you. But wouldn't that just be the guide person is playing tag and you're there? Maybe. No. So there's also a special Olympic sport where they play like dodge dodgeball but the ball has like a little bell in it and so that's how they and so the people there's some people who are blind there's some people who aren't but they wear like blindfolds just like play with them oh that's cool it looks kind of cool it would be really tough though because i feel like trying to aim it to at the

people would be really hard because you don't know where they are unless they're wearing bells that's what i was gonna say like if you're wait wait so yeah just a bunch of bells going off like that'd be so hard yeah everyone would need like a different toned bell. So you could be like, oh, Jerry's right next to me. He's got the low bell. C minor over here. You're an F sharp in the back corner. I mean, it sounds like it would be really fun to like watch. Like I'd be very interested in seeing how it works.

I would be terrified. You'd hear a bell whistling coming closer to you. You get pegged in the head so many times. Or the nuts. Wear a cup. Well, I do. Blind people aren't allowed to wear cups. That's true. Yeah, it does say that.

Everyone knows the rules. Number one. Blind people can't wear cups. Anyways, we got Zach. Polo G. That's a lot of loser reference that I can get into later. But what's up, everybody? How's it going? We both aren't going to know that.

Rooks, who was out this week, was the only one. Inside joke with himself. Lays it up to himself and slams it home. No one else is on the court. The hoop is four feet off the ground. Fisher Price, sponsor me. I used to have that one, and I used to watch the Space Jam, and I would pretend that I could stretch my arm out like Michael Jordan.

I don't think it ever stretched, but I pretended. Great imagination over here. Big imagination guy. The intro to Space Jam the old one top top two intro and it isn't number two what which intro the intro to Space Jam oh yeah yeah when they have like when he's like yeah when he's like playing basketball and his dad's like we want to do sun and he's like i want to fly and then he like joe goes to dunk and then they just cut into the space jam song it's like come on and slam and then and then they do the highlights of

michael jordan it's the best what do you saw space jam 2 recently right i have not no i have that was my uh me and my goons and you hated it though i thought right yeah it was bad it was bad okay like should we even bother kind of bad or yeah yeah if you need like a mindless movie to watch on a middle of a sunday i wouldn't you know especially right now there's no football on, I'd throw it on. I do like those movies. There's football on. Hard Knocks starts tonight. Preseason started last Thursday.

Full swing, baby. You don't want to see Mason Rudolph fumble the ball on a handoff on the third play of the game. Oh, is that what happened? There was like a jet sweep and he fumbled it. It wasn't the third play of the game, but still. I was very happy about it. I was banking on two interceptions and a fumble,

bench him after the first drive, cut him on the field right then. I saw Dwayne Haskins look like poopy. To be honest, I didn't watch the second half of the game. Who cares? Well, that's my synopsis. Dwayne Haskins was poopy. Yeah, the Steelers' backup quarterbacks are not good. But I digress.

Well, my week was good, because last week I was gone on vacacion to the playa. I went to the playa, and my family so vamos a la playa uh got a little got a little tan graham cracker guy looking over here looking like a teddy graham gonna say you don't look any tanner not to bring you down it's the lighting uh no i mean it's like it's jersey it's not florida so for when we showed up it's like oh three or four of the days it's gonna rain and be overcast and it was like probably not see the sun but it ended up being like four days of sun two days of overcast relax drank a little bit hung out with family it was. It's a like veg out.

It was good. Did Hefe swing at a mascot this week? He did not. He didn't, which is surprising. But, you know, he didn't get, I feel like he's retired. You know, he can do that any night. That's true. I feel like his party days are he has

more of them but maybe not to the extreme that he used to he's in the marathon now before he was just sprinting on the weekends he's in the end game you could say but let's see what would i give it i would give it um two stolen buffalo chicken quesadillas from seagulls but like in a positive way like that's fun like you stole them from the seagull no that they didn't steal them they didn't steal them from me though like so strangers watch for entertainment value think of like level of how much you like it not personally so super direct and forward scale for everybody to know how to follow it. Yeah, everyone knows that.

It's the metric, imperial, and then the stolen quesadilla seagull sale. Mm-hmm. Everybody knows. Yeah. Zach, how was your week? My week was good. We'll start out on Friday.

I made white people tacos, which consists of going to the store buying soft shell tortillas ground beef the packets uh taco mix uh shredded cheese sour cream at the grocery store yeah thank you i didn't know if anyone would get that so uh but yeah so did that uh watch suicide squad on friday that was delightful oh yeah yeah we have a little segment impromptu all right screw your week don't write your week rate the movie also spoilers if you haven't seen suicide squad don't listen for the next five minutes i put the time stamps in the episode it might be down there continue i'm still gonna rate my week we're gonna come back

to it we're gonna come back full circle i'm gonna give you the the rundown but we can uh suicide squad was good i enjoyed it i thought it was fun compared did you see the original one oh yeah buddy did i see the original one with bill smith in there yeah billiam how's that the first time i've ever heard anyone refer to him as bill smith bill smith and chuck robbie in the same movie yeah that's right that's a cast you want to see dude they will smith's character was the exact same as you just always yeah and they had no shame and just fully recreating that and just saying Will Smith's not good enough. Good amount of air. Horrible. Yeah, but I cared about Aegis Elba.

I did not care about Will Smith in that movie. Yeah. If you had Will Smith rap a little bit, pretend that he's from Philly, give me some fresh press references, then I would be in. But it wasn't enough. Who's your favorite character? Favorite character. Yeah. Ooh. but wasn't enough who's your favorite character favorite character yeah uh gotta go with my guy uh king shark yeah yeah second place all right there is a right answer but that's that's close to it the right is polka dot man your answer polka no come on that's my answer mine weasel guys come on

you guys suck i see we have a man of taste in the room in like fantastic movie he had the most so good that's for sure i mean kinda i'm alive then i'm dead it's so good dude he was definitely i wish he was in there longer i wish pete davidson was in there longer just give them another 15 minutes together would have been a much better intro do you think they make maybe not a sequel but do you think they branch off and try to do more stuff seeing how successful this was they just like let them kind of like keep going or do you think they're like that was great great let's not ruin this so there's the peacekeeper tv series yeah the one with john cena's character and so i don't know what characters are actually going to bring in from like the dc universe because

like i doubt they're going to just bring in just like superman because that's like very high stakes compared to peacemaker who's just like a real strong dude who wants to murder everybody but i feel like they would have to bring weasel back there just at least like in a cameo make him be in like the back of every tv series at some point in movie for them that would be awesome yeah i i don't know if I could see Polka Dot Man versus Superman. I don't know. I feel like I know how that would go, but I don't need a whole DC movie about it.

He's got a bunch of green polka dots. They're made out of kryptonite. Easy. True, true. All right, circle back, circle back. Continue on your week, Zach. So on Saturday, I played basketball outdoors for the first time probably since college. And for whatever reason, my ass hurt. I don't know why the next day.

Like I was just so sore. All the cutting and pivoting I was doing maybe. I don't know. I haven't been using my glutes a lot. So that was fun. Why does it matter if you're outdoors? Because you play indoor all the time, don't you? Yeah, but I think like the gravel, the uneven pavement,

I've got to use my ankles and my balance a little more. That's what I'm going with. You're not playing on gravel. That's not what a basketball course is. Yeah, it's like compressed gravel. It's compressed gravel. That's what asphalt is, just compressed gravel. I would call that asphalt, though.

I'm a scientist, Brian. So I did that, and then my buddy actually played his band. He's in a country band. Shout out Pat Bale and the Pale Ales. Go check them out on iTunes and Spotify. They played at Old Crow and Wrigley, so we got after it a little bit. He did a great job. And Sunday I was violently hungover and I watched the entire season two of The Outer Banks, which was fun. Oh, I just started season one or finished season one.

Season one is way better than season two, but it was I mean, I finished the entire season two on Sunday. So, I mean, yeah, it was good. It was good. And then I also ordered pizza for myself and had a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream and a bunch of honey mustard pretzels. Balanced meal for sure. The three food categories. Oh, yeah. Three food categories.

So I would give it. Oh, also, I'm done drinking Red Bull vodka is just as a PSA for the list for the viewers. So I would give it. Hold on. Hold on. Well, you give your ranking, but i have a point to make after that i'm gonna give it um four sugar-free red bull vodkas out of six so like good or bad but good a little bit better for you than you thought originally it was like it was like a send-off you know like when you're when you're doing something bad, like, oh, this is the last time I'm going to do.

Yeah, it's one last ride. Like, oh, this is the last time I'm going to, you know, eat a box of Fruit Roll-Ups. I got to enjoy it. And you just know you'll never do it again. So it was like, it was good while it lasted. I savored the moment. And then I buried him. Fruit Roll-Ups should never be out of your diet. But, so, my point off of that Red Bull, vodka Red Bull comment.

Brian, and also, right after Brian sent it to me, our female in the field, one of our female in the field, Denise, sent me Mountain Dew. Yeah. Alcoholic Mountain Dew drink is coming out. So, just when you thought you were out, Zach, they're going to rope you back in. You're pulling right back in. It's not Red Bull, but it's close. So the three flavors are. If it's not Baja Blast, I'm going to be a little upset.

It doesn't say the flavors. Oh, wait, no, there's regular, just the green, whatever.'t say the flavors oh wait no there's regular just the green whatever there's black cherry and then there's watermelon lost it kind of like kind of lost me a little bit first of all watermelon doo-doo like i don't black cherry doo-doo i'm out of this black cherry vibe why does every seltzer have a black cherry it's a it's a terrible flavor is like code red not cherry code red is just red it's red dye and like yes i'm convinced they just put enough in it where it changes the flavor it's not like a flavoring itself it's just all red dye based on mountain dew.fandom.com mountain dew code red is cherry flavored so suck it well

zach's gonna say it's not black cherry flavored though agreed um they are five percent alcohol by volume 95 hot gas and zero sugar so that replaces your vodka red bull zero sugar. So that replaces your vodka Red Bull with zero sugar immediately. One last ride, Zach. One last ride. One last ride. All I can say, I thought I was out. Because, like, same. Last time I had Red Bull vodka.

Woo! Man. That was the weekend of the wedding. The friend's wedding where I was super hungover for like uh three quarters of the day and i think i've sworn it off but you know what that mountain dude i've got to try it don't knock until you try it you know what they say what about hard baja blast how hard is it half chub 50 alcohol by volume i'm in what kind of alcohol you can't just say blanket alcohol are you adding tequila or vodka to the baja blast i do not add tequila to anything i can't do it that one i'm i'm a full pass now it is what if it's a dollar from taco bell are you talking about dollarita

but from taco bell it's not a rita it's a baja blast with whatever a dollar blaster yeah uh yeah i'm glad blaster i barely even know what i would try it well brian the real question is would you try it no i don't think i had a mountain dew in a while so i should just have not my friend do you know i consist my diet consists solely of skim milk and water it did make me a little bit nervous for myself water and water i made it a little i was a little nervous that two of my friends immediately reached out at the same time when something mountain dew came up uh i give off big mountain dew vibes yeah big mountain dew energy man yeah come on yeah you look like a big gamer. Like, you eat, like, pizza rolls and Mountain Dew for, like, more than, like, three times a week.

I mean, I would. You wouldn't? I feel like you're a big pizza rolls guy. I love pizza rolls, but I'm also trying to make myself appealing for the ladies, and the pizza roll diet doesn't lend well to the looking well, the looking well looking good that ship has sailed big you're locked down buddy you're you got claire put the clamps on you she's playing full court defense and not let anyone else through she's not letting you into the lane that doesn't mean you're shot blocked every time i mean yeah but that doesn't mean i can't look good for her although that's at that point i mean you're right like if i can enjoy all the mountain dew on this planet i'm gonna enjoy all the mountain dew on this planet yeah i feel like

that's a fair trade fair trade you you give her your love and then she lets you drink all the mountain dew you want i feel like that's my i don't i feel like she didn't get anything out of it fair oh goodness goodness gracious brian how was your week and enough mountain dew talk so after our last podcast about adam sandler movies i had to go re-watch little nicky so i have notes because that movie was a lot um one doesn't really hold up but it was very weird um his voice he like whispers the whole time i knew it a weird accent but he like whispers and his mouth moves to the side and it's the strangest thing like it's not an accent he just actually whispers i don't know why you'd think a demon from hell needs to whisper but i don't know that's what they chose to do um but his demon

brothers take over new york city and uh the first thing they do is lower the drinking age to 10 so the next scene is like a bunch of like 10 year old walking out of a bar like puking um then they change the slogan from i love new york to i love hookers that one over great um and then they go to heaven at one point and chubbs from happy gilmore is up there like the dude who lost his head in the alligator wait they actually like connected it like they're all part of the same adam sandler universe yeah the acu ad ascu yeah the add scu but yeah he shows up and they call him chubbs and he's like still missing his hand so like for sure the same guy um and then in hell the guy that does we suck again showed up as well

so all the movies are connected and then the movie ends with ozzy osbourne showing up and butting the head off of his brother who turned into a bat so it was a roller coaster what what year did this come out um i'm gonna guess like 2003 it had to have been after water boy right i guess dude i'm not gonna lie i thought it was like like 2015 adam sandler because i just saw the picture of it and i was like that looks like absolute trash it was november 10th 2000 so water boy came out in 98 big daddy 99 mr deeds 2002 this is in the middle of that it was that was between that was between deeds and what'd you say big daddy yeah man he took a little detour there like we're saying he's always been really

weird and now the movies are just not hitting they're still weird they're just not funny so i just feel like he needs a better storyline like rooks was saying last week like one storylines like we go camping that was there was no it was like they have to play basketball against their childhood bullies like yeah that's not a storyline at least the other ones there's like somebody likes somebody who can't remember things and like that's a storyline yeah there's a little bit more to it he has like a bunch of interviews though where he's like i don't really care about the movies anymore i just pick places that i want to go to film and that's because like i think blended was in africa so he got to go there and then just go with it was in hawaii and he specifically chose

both of those because he wanted to go there for a couple weeks and like have a vacation so he's doing it right he knows what he's doing smart i would do that um also saw suicide squad which we talked about this week pretty good movie i don't say great we went on a date for it made out a lot uh went to the millville music festival which is like a local thing it's not really a music festival they're just like bands up bars but that's cool uh i bought tickets to go to san diego in october hell yeah and then i'm going to yellowstone this weekend so lots of future stuff planned it's been a good week and at work this girl i've been there for like a month she has sent her password in the zoom chat three times now so if you ever want to hack her computer

her password is never forget one exclamation point so uh my week what that's very interesting i mean is it i is i have two thoughts is it one, like essentially saying like password one, like you should never forget your password? Or is it 9-11? In my head, I went 9-11 right off the bat. I mean that's what I did immediately. But then I gave it a thought and I was like, well, maybe she's not like that strange. Like I feel like that would be a weird thing to be like, what should my password be? I don't know, man. I'll never forget it 9-11 boom

that's tough she should have changed it to never forget 9-11 exclamation point that usually you need numbers in there too anyway so like yeah interesting that she didn't do you think on cases when she does need numbers, she puts those in there? Oh, there's a one at the end. I said there's a one. Oh. So. Maybe she had a typo.

No. Well, that's sort of like, I was thinking like maybe it's just a random thing she typed in on Apple. But like it's a capital letter to start it, a number, and like an exclamation point. That's a password. And she's done this multiple times. And it's so funny because no one has said anything about it and there's just like passwords randomly in all our zoom chats i mean have i done it once or twice sure have i done it no usually i'll do it like not usually i'm trying to remember i've done it once or twice in my job that i've worked for five

years the bad look is the the three days whatever it is that's that's a little how embarrassing are your passwords though because i feel like if i type in mine i would be a lot more embarrassed than typing and never forget my passwords are um no i mean they're not they're not are they like embarrassing just random words or are they like something you've used since like you're three because all my passwords are the same thing since i was like five years old except for like my bank because like i figured that should probably be not like some dumb phrase banks insure money um i guess i guess there's stuff from my childhood i don't know like they're not like i don't sit there and i'm like zx2 like dollar sign like i there are people that like memorize that shit

i'm like what is wrong with you i'm over it anyway but so how would you rate your weekend one hacked computer one exclamation point out of uh seven question mark 911 also so last week i had a fun fact for our sandler draft and i forgot to tell you all about it so is it oh this is the one that's not fun because i remember listening and you actually had a fun fact and then rook said congrats yeah and then i said oh i have another one later and i just forgot to do it yeah so uh sandler's uh beloved dog meatball who also has a section on adam sandler's official website with photos and videos uh was the best man at his wedding and was dressed in a tux passed away due to heart

attack at uh four years old so dog years uh human years four years and dog years is like a year less than a year old that's more tragic make it more tragic exactly yeah but yeah so tragic you know bringing the people's spirits up had to do it yeah that's a really fun fact all All right, Zach. Really fun. We got a quick recap from Rook last week. A little gist from his side, but we need your point of view. Break down Lollapalooza for us. Lolla was good.

Picked our beloved Korean beef up from the airport. Proceeded to ice him immediately when he got in my car. Classic. He was not too happy happy just sitting on the seat i put it underneath a blanket on the front seat and then when he got in i was like oh can you you can just move that to the back and then so he grabbed it and then i was like adam bang bang um so uh yeah then he told the story about how he lost his phone on thursday which kind of killed the vibes um but we uh what did we get for food wise i don't think we got anything oh do we order we ordered the we ordered little caesars no we think we ordered little caesars thursday night why yeah uh because it was delicious. Why not? Because they were down. Did they have deep dish Little Caesars?

No. Also, I think it's because Domino's. I tried to order Domino's, I think like 10 times. And it did the thing where it said your order had canceled. And then it looked at my credit card statement. It was like $40, like debit, $40 credit, $40 debit, $40 credit, like about 20 different times. That's a new tactic to hide condoms on your amazon prime account exactly you're not going to buy anything

um it's actually that was fun well that was sorry that wasn't little seizures was fun and then we also started watching eddie's million dollar cook-off which is great um so i've heard mixed reviews we'll get into it on the disney channel original disney channel movie draft whenever we do that um he was way i'm gonna tell you right now every person on this planet has seen this movie with zach if he's ever met that person he's why is that your go-to i don't understand it in another life his name was ed, and he had a million dollar cook-off. And he quit the baseball team because he had to go make hot dogs at some point. Yeah, it's got everything.

Honestly, I could see him being an Eddie. Oh, yeah. He's got Eddie vibes for sure. Have you ever seen, what's the one, Double Teamed, where the girl literally moves her ankle and that's the move to like win the game yes so double teamed is there's twins and they play on a volleyball team and a basketball team and like yeah she has some move on the basketball final to like do whatever we watch that together and i hate that you made me watch it rooks is in love with that movie that's his disease likes that one yeah that's his movie that he always talked about we watched it

his place what why is that the most surprising thing about this movie to me i can't i don't understand why he would like that one because it's so bad that's fair i don't know i always liked the uh what was the irish luck of the irish Or Smart House? Are those all Disney Channel? Yeah. All right. Decom, man. So segue anyways. Zach had the great idea of next week doing a Disney Channel original movie draft. So that might be coming up.

Zach, on the bingo for Lollapalooza, you guys checked off See Someone Famous. And the rule was it couldn't be someone on stage. So who did you run into? We saw Myers Leonard's brother. Who? Myers Leonard's brother. He's in the NBA and he has a brother apparently. But we did recon and we found him.

And he was there. Is his brother famous or is just Miles Leonard famous? No, I mean, he's got over. He's got like a decent amount of Instagram followers that I think qualifies him as famous. Is he verified? Yeah, sure. Aren't we all verified in some way? Chuck Leonard was seen at Lollapalooza, has over a thousand followers, big time.

That's a weak check. I'm going to say it. How did you know who he was yeah uh because he was tall and he was wearing a myers leonard jersey so we thought initially we're like that has to be myers leonard and then we looked up on his instagram and we're like hey it's definitely not myers leonard but he's got to have a brother and then we looked at his brother and it looked it looked like him so we safely assumed it was myers leonard's brother i think you unsafely assumed it was his brother you saw a six foot five dude in a myers leonard

jersey like no that's definitely his brother like yeah you agree yeah who's buying a myers okay okay but so you've never like who's buying a myers leon Leonard jersey besides him and his family dog I have a Reggie Evans jersey that had to be customized do you think I'm Reggie Evans because I have that jersey I do not look like Reggie Evans but if the rebound king if you were if you were a six five black guy I'd be like yeah probably, probably a safe assumption. This was like a 6'9 tall white guy. And I was like, okay. I wish you got a photo with him and posted it just so everyone on social media could roast you as one of the people who think they're taking a photo with a famous person. And it's very clearly not.

There's so many photos of people who like slightly look like snoop dog like they kind of just have dreads and are wearing like sunglasses and they have photos of them and it's nowhere close to the same the best ones are like where they actually actually get a famous person but it's not who they thought they were and they still take a picture with them those ones are great uh i don't think i've ever seen anyone famous on like wrong street oh never mind i've seen people like i've gotten to like shows and things well i i was gonna say like michael strahan like you interacted with them i don't i didn't but yeah i was like four feet you were there when we did stuck it stuck your tongue in the gap of his teeth. I could see the gap of his teeth from a couple feet away. So that's true.

But like that's also we were at a concert and he was like kind of hosting it. So I kind of don't count it because everyone could have showed up because they knew he was there. I'm talking like randomly walk by like, hey, that's Miles Leonard's brother. Who would have thought? Yeah. Who would have thought? Not me. If you're going to go by Zach rules, you could just make it up. Why would I make that up?

Why would I make that up? It's way too specific for me to make up. What point of the day was this? How many beers deep were you? Middle of the day. First day, second day. When we got there. It was the fourth day, actually.

Okay. Third or fourth day. I can't remember. So Heath remember stroke had set in a little bit a little bit hungover but also a little bit drunk that's a bad triple combination right there uh i'm skeptical no it was great in that jersey for all you know we also chalked off a mild heat stroke. You guys all right? Yeah. Yeah, we're good. Just mild. Yellow pee.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We were very not hydrated throughout the entire. The only water we drank were the plastic water bottles, so we could then use this to fill them up with vodka and then smuggle them into the – that was like the only water we drank were the plastic water bottles. So we could then use this to fill them up with vodka and then smuggle them into the, that was like the only water we drank. Man, I would be smuggling in some skim milk.

We also, what else? Oh, we also play a lot of MLB The Show. So shout out to our guy, Eduardo Escobar was hitting dingers for us. We probably played about 20 games of The show over the, over the weekend, like pre-gaming. That's we'd like, listen to music, play the show and,

uh, got ready. And it was, uh, it was great. It was electric. Do you drink Hennessy at all? I was meant to put that one on the,

no, no, no, no. I haven't, I gotta, I gotta restock on Hennessy. I don't really have any right now.

I think you really do need to do that. No, I mean, not Hennessy guy. I don't know. Don't now i don't think you really do need to do that no i mean not hennessy guy i don't know don't know if you knew that but henny guy um henny guy any time any any place i knew i knew i hate it i hate it so much uh and the one thing i think if you want to take famous person off there brian you can replace it with like get into a fight or some fisticuffs. We were standing in just like I forget who we're listening to. We were just in like the EDM concert.

So everyone was like jumping up and down. And my actually we saw my friend's sister and her friend there. So we just like went up with and we're hanging out with them. This guy came sprinting the other way to try to get out of the crowd and like knocked these two girls over i grabbed him by his tank top and like lifted him up and i was like what are you doing and then like threw him to the side and i've never felt so strong in my life it was such like an exhilarating experience to be fair he looked pretty gone and faded so but i literally like it felt amazing i felt like superman you did the like push him

against a locker and like lift him up by his shirt kind of pretty much it was like a virtual locker that i just like stopped him i like gave him like a punch grab so it kind of shocked the system and then i like i think i like lifted him up a little bit. So, um, but yeah, I mean, overall it was good. We had a good time. We got a new phone. The other thing I will say, you know, like when your parents, um, always seem really mad to go to like the phone store with you. I understand why now, because you have to go there and you get none of the fun of getting a new phone, but all of the hassle and waiting. So we were there at Verizon for like an hour. And then Rooks is just like, what's your pin?

He's like, I don't know. I got to call my mom. And then, although on the bright side, I have Sheila Carmine's phone number in my phone now. So if I ever want to talk to her, I can just say what's up. She's a very nice lady. Next time Rooks is not ready for the podcast, I know who our guest is going to be.

She would 100% show up. And we have to not tell him about it so that he'll listen to the episode and just be horrified and we should only ask like baby rooks questions yeah which those are the questions i need answers to so oh yeah yeah yeah all we need to know what a long con to get her number zach have some guy steal his phone take him to verizon see miles let his brother beat someone up i mean this goes along with the fact that i again i'll i mean this this shouldn't be a surprise considering i'm the one who dm'd the uh the bar's instagram official Instagram account to get a bartender's number. So the long con is a game that I live for. I respect any long con.

If there's a short way to do something and there's also a long, more elaborate way to do something, do the long, more elaborate way to do something. Way more fun. I think that's a hot take, I would say. Uh-uh. Everyone agrees with that. I know.

I mean, I get it. The excitement behind it all fantastic yeah but like waiting oh sorry cory i would say one other thing that just popped my head you guys know what bow is like the food bow yeah i think they're like little they're like little dumplings that they're like filled with like meat and stuff inside and they're like little they're like little dumplings that they're like filled with like meat and stuff inside and they're like twisted at the top so rooks had like never had these before and they were selling them at lala palooza my man ate about 25 bow it was so many for him man yeah he's like he's the bow bow he would just turn to me like we would be dancing or like vibing. He would just turn to me. Like we would be dancing or like vibing in music. He would just turn to me and just go, bow?

I'd be like, okay. I don't think he had any other food. I think he only ate bow while we were at the festival. I mean, gotta eat his heritage or something. I don't know. He's named Korean Bee for a reason, man. Yeah. Eat your heritage. Yeah. You know. Eat reason man yeah eat your heritage yeah you know eat your heritage is bao korean that'd be amazing if that

i'm gonna guess vietnamese oh no it's big time korean buddy oh is it dang it it's not a very it's no it's developed in chinese culture. So Korean, got it, cool. I just typed in Korean bao, and it came up with recipes. So I was like, oh, this is definitely Korean. So the Korean bao was Korean? I don't know. I'll probably get canceled for saying that. It was nice knowing you guys.

Guys, there should be a rapper from china named bow wow and but it's like spelled bow and just be a complete ripoff just a cover band of bow wow i would be a huge fan hit the boo button for yourself my guy oh come on if my computer would load i would do it but uh things are freezing so i'm gonna try to not press stuff ready cory cory ready one two three boo come on that was not that bad all right but yeah that was lala thanks for listening uh i'm surprised you both made it out alive so good job when's the next uh when's the next festival i do i think i'm retired from festivals wait also did you did you get an underbite or did somebody have an underbite that that was another thing that i meant to ask because that was one of the ones on there

oh no i think rooks's friends that were there they did a lot of molly and ecstasy and i think they he saw them and then they had a an aggressive underite. So I think it was them. But the picture of, I think I said it to you guys, the picture of Rooks carrying that girl the first night where he looks so sad. And I also managed, I was three for four on getting pictures of Rooks falling asleep in public transportation on the way home. I got him two pictures of him falling asleep on the train

and then one in an Uber and I just forgot to take one the fourth night. But that was also a success. So we can check that box off three multiple times cool all right so moving on to the olympics were literally just the last couple weeks and i've watched almost none of them closing ceremonies were like last saturday beautiful america won in the medal totals both on gold and just overall total uh i turned it on yeah the one thing i saw was like water polo and then volleyball and then dressage came on which is like horses crip walking and it just was

just not entertaining did you see the video of uh of uh kevin hart and snoop dog doing the voice so good i need snoop dog to just be a commentator on everyday life everything it's always funny he does boxing for triller and it's not good because well so i'll give him credit there's like five other people who are also commentators at the same time and they all just kind of yell so that makes it a little bit worse and he's also very high at that point um so maybe if he tones it down a little bit it's a little bit better and there's not oscar de la joya in the back like on coke screaming his head off you know i think water polo should be a new form of torture where like we just put our work war criminals in the pool make them play water polo but give them no way of coming out

and then then they just either tell us the information or you just drown in the pool i feel like it'd be pretty effective. Isn't that like extreme waterboarding? Exactly. Yeah, just putting someone in the middle of the ocean. Spin zone. If they do really well, we can put them on the water polo team for the US.

Would they be US citizens that you're doing this to? Because then I don't think they could be on the national team. All we're doing is training the water polo teams for foreign countries at that point you're just giving them like a crazy water polo camp and then sending them back we're we're great feeder league guantanamo bay is like the triple a for water polo iran's gonna have a crazy water polo team in like 10 years for some reason. People are going to be very confused. I think this might be the episode we get cancelled. People have to know who you are if you get cancelled.

We're saying hypothetically. We're not saying we're going to do that. We aren't the government. Yeah, that's good. Lead them off the trail. We are the Senate. Wait, not speaking of. Speaking of the amount of viewers we have, did we hit a thousand views? Yeah, that. We are the Senate. All right, so... Wait, speak... Not speaking of. Speaking of the amount of viewers we have, did we hit 1,000 views? Yeah.

Yay! That was a couple weeks back, I think. That was, like, the first 30 minutes of the first episode. Yeah, we're doing great. There's sponsorships everywhere. Yeah, you know. Lots of friends. Don't close with that. I don't like that at all so i have so anyway i have

some dumb olympic questions for you guys because i'm not going to get into like us winning or commentary on it because i don't know anything why is america the best question one so to start us off if you get any one sport or activity i'll be very generous on adding anything to the olympics what would you add and then what country do you think would win the thing that you're gonna add i have a list of six and half of them are fun other half are not fun but i still need to say them because i want you guys to grow. First one, have you ever seen chess boxing? What? Chess boxing.

It is what you think it is. Is it like Wii boxing? No. Is this like Harry Potter where you are the chess pieces and then you have to beat the shit out of the person that you like? No. That sounds so much cooler, though. That would be sweet. You could only move in those directions and you'd get one punch each time? Yeah. Man, that sounds so much cooler than this. That would be sweet. You could only move in those directions and you'd get like one punch each time? Yeah.

Man, that sounds so much cooler than this. Fucking Ron Weasley. Fucking Ron Weasley and Albie the Noid. Go fuck yourself, Ron. Once I make my move. Wait, we're still playing. Fuck them kids could you imagine how much better that movie would have been if like the the queen just like sliced ron's head off and like while she was stabbing the knight that's the end

of a franchise you piece of shit like they would take all of her books and be like, we're making one movie and we're ending it at one. Because we're going to murder all the characters. No, no, no. They got spells. He just has to carry his head around for the next six movies. He's like the Headless Horseman, but he's the Headless Horse Ron. No. Yes.

Just no. The completely headless Ron. The ghost. Friends with nearly headless ron the ghost friends with nearly headless nick okay anyway so chess boxing they literally do rounds of chess and then rounds of boxing in one of their and they're like tied to the board so they'll like do two minutes of playing chess and then the timer and then they just start swinging at each other and they have one hand in a boxing glove and one hand isn't. So the other hand can play chess. I don't really know how you win because I don't know if you need to win at chess or knock them out or if it's one or the other.

But it seems insane. You know how you have to like click the little like timer because you have a certain amount of time for the full game. Does that come into play at all? Probably. We could say it does. No one else knows how this works. Cool. Great.

So what country do you think is winning? Oh, Russia. Easily. One, they're geniuses, but also not afraid of like just giving steroids to everybody so like they already have a lot of really good chess people so just throw allowing cheating i mean they already were in the olympics this year as the roc because they couldn't say they were russia because they got were caught cheating so sorry russia will win the roc will win. Better? Thank you. Thank you. Fair, fair, fair. More accurate. So what sport or activity are you adding?

I said this before. I had another thing written down because we thought about doing this a couple weeks ago. Guess what? Deleted it. Pissed on myself. But the one that I did want, or I remember mentioning, is they should do a, like, um, like a, a triathlon or whatever you want to call it. Uh,

yeah, sure. Of like just house things like normal day to day things just to see like, just cause everybody could look at that and be like, I do that every day. So I was saying like clean a whole house. I don't know. Like commute to work in traffic. whole house i don't know like commute

to work in traffic um i don't know cook a full meal for like six people and just like see like best times but you could do like relay so like you could get like the best of the best at each event okay so we have morning routine just sounds like who's the best mom. Or father. Or father. Thank you. So, all right. We got morning routine. You got to get coffee and food and eat it.

So it's also a food competition. Then you have commute to work and back from work in rush hour traffic. This is all timed. Third one, come home, kids homework. They'll give you fifth grade math, eighth grade reading. No, no the what's the new math what's the new math new math just drops there's like new math there's there's like math that they're teaching kids differently what's it called cory's talking about but i just like him saying new math over and over again new math what is it new math method hold on uh my mom's a teacher common core common core math common core math we got okay so common core sounds like a thing like an evil villain like

creates he's like and now we'll activate the common core next suicide squad villain common core uh it's just george w bush saying no child will be left behind we're gonna teach everyone common core math i mean yeah all right so we have math and then uh the fourth one molon you have to but you have a like a scythe like an old school scythe yeah and then yeah fifth one have sex with your wife but But it's timed. Record time. Gotta get in and get out. Or, or, or husband. Fair. Yeah. You get to choose.

There's two beds and you just left or right. There's, there's so, there's, it's like, there's so many things that can go wrong. Or right. I mean, or right but also like do you have judges like constantly with you because how are you measuring these well so i think the easiest one is i think okay yeah but i think the easiest one is the uh commute to work you set up like cones not cones but like cars and it's the same distance and it's like a race. Like your NASCAR with traffic.

No, they drop you off in New York City and you have to get from one end to the other. It's live. So you're commuting on the subway? Cars. They give you a Hummer like the original one that takes up like two and a half lanes. Gonna make it real hard. It's the Olympics, man. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah all right so what country's gonna win though

you're gonna get canceled so hard um uh what country is really good at driving, cooking, and eating quickly, having sex fast, and math? You got to answer. It's so tough. I don't like that. Just say it and move on real quick. Canada. Okay, Zach Zach you're up

it's gotta be football baby and then American football gross what a dumb thing I don't need another thing for us to just wreck people in oh buddy the image of seeing Aaron Donald and Khalil Mack line up against some jamokes from Great Britain

sign me up brother imagine how sweet the unis would be. Like, the helmets could be chromed out American flags. That'd be so dirty. We could even do flag football and do seven on seven, give them more of a chance. But I kind of, I would love to see just, like, Aaron Donald just eat humans on other countries.

Pro-cannibalism. Yeah. Oh, exactly. So, yeah, I i could i would do any variation of of american football flag football seven on seven full-on tackle uh ultimate frisbee ultimate frisbee god damn it i was like i was like ultimate what NFL blitz style. We could do that too. Yeah, it's gotta be football. It would be fun to watch.

That's for sure. Cause we would like, we destroy people in basketball now. And that's like less physical. Raise your hand, Corey. Go ahead. I, well, I got another one. Keep going. I'll just say it's, we would destroy people.

Not even just great Britain, but like peru the average height's five foot so we're gonna have like calvin johnson six eight and just stomping on little people and it'll be great the prize score 100 agreed below average height people um mini golf that's on my list that's on my list that'd be really fun to watch but it has on my list. That'd be really fun to watch. But it has to be like. Laser tag? Oh. Yo, that is sick. Well, what about like paintball? That'd be cool. No.

Because like there's less. Uh-uh. Laser tag. No, paintball is too, like, I don't know. I feel like it's just, there's too many hard O's in paintball. Laser tag, I feel like a group of like college kids together. Yeah. Fair.

America wins that. No contest. Yeah. Minigolf, I'm going to say ireland oh i was gonna just do like a like war zone or like apex just do like a uh just like a video game esports who would win that cory not me um yeah there you go not me is my answer what other country has laser tag i feel like that's a very purely american thing you think yes no one else i don't know i saw a lot of laser tag when we were in peru did you definitely laser tag it in jabuti yeah yikes um so i had mini golf on my list as well so i put us as winning it america because

why who else plays mini golf i don't know doesn't ireland play golf yeah but have you played mini golf and have you played golf and are you good at one and bad at the other yes yeah but like i would imagine if you're good at golf you you'd be pretty good at mini golf. I'm bad at golf and okay at mini golf. Yeah, but, like, when there's, like, eight clown faces on the course and they're all, like, moving back and forth and you got to time your shot, the courses are going to be wild. We're not going, like, just an L with a bump in the middle.

It's going to be, like, an eight-tiered mini golf course for each hole. It's going to be like a British Bake Off cake. All the tiers. Each hole is made out of gingerbread. My family's heritage. Okay. The last two that I had, or I have three more. I said hide and seek would be sick.

Yeah. Maybe boring to watch, but kind of awesome at the same time. Can blind people play? They can hide. There's not really a lot of limitations.

Play us out, Brian. Okay. Rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, Rasputin. there's not really a lot of play us out brian no okay i got two are you gonna hate just just just i got another good one and another a really bad one at least you know the title for this episode is We Get Cancelled? My brother gave me a... He was like, you should do some of my Olympic stuff. And I was like, oh yeah, we're going to tierless countries. And he's like, uh... That's gross.

I just imagine one of us is just like a vendetta against a random country and just be like, Bolivia, terrible. What a dump of a country. Everyone else S tier. Okay. Put everyone on E tier. Yeah, just level playing field, man. I said Peru would hide and seek. Like I've mentioned before, the average height for a male is five three

average height for a female is five foot flat they could fit into some small areas they're great next one tailgate pentathlon we already talked about corey's pentathlon oh yeah this one though relay we're going like flip cup cornhole stomp oh yeah stomp baby give yeah, stomp, baby. Give me two more. Oh, also, going back to hide and seek, I'm going to say East Timor is going to beat Peru because they average five feet one inches is the average height of their person. So suck it, Brian. Oh, I'm sorry.

I mean, it's going to be a close race. That's the average height. Maybe we got a lot of, there's a lot of outliers in Peru that we could find. Is the hide and seek to the death you have to hide in this closet until you die well i was you know that there's like the the island hold on hold on i just found another website bolivia is actually the shortest at four feet alone. One of the odds. Fuck them short kings and queens.

Bolivia F tier. What's the country? What's the island that like nobody steps foot on because they murder you? Oh, those guys. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they're pretty good. I don't know if I would say hiding. It's the Gal it's the galapagos islands right the turtles have the bow and arrows

and they shoot you no it's the easter heads they at night they come alive and they like beat people up no me easter head island head me angry i have no family or feelings. That's exactly how I picture them speaking. Good on ya. Alright, do you want my last really bad one? No. I don't think so, because go for it.

Just go for it. Okie dokie. God, I'm so mad that we allowed that to happen look you want to rooks isn't here to make me not say spunk tank so i had to say something a little weird um so what country you think would win oh this that's the biscuit game yeah that's uh yeah toast what do you call it oh i never heard of it before i just had to look it up i didn't want to sound like I didn't know what the cool kids were talking about So there's a lot of different names. You never heard of that before we used to play My favorite day of Pee So, uh what country would win that

Uh, I got it. I got it. I got it. Go for it. Where's the red light district? Amsterdam. Amsterdam. Them? They win. Okay.

No, dude, that should be spin off that. There should be like a game for like porn stars from different countries. Like who has the best porn stars? What's the game? It's not an Olympic game. Doing porn. Welcome back to the doing porn game. Imagine like Bob Costas announcing that. Be like oh

that's some nice double penetration they got going on there. Okay. Why? Should I tag Bob Costas in this episode and Johnny Sins gets the gold oh my god Snoop Dogg would do that one

whatever that one is I still don't know the goal of this game that's how this sport is important you know how they do synchronized diving? Oh, is it artistic porn? There's a couple categories. Yeah, if you do synchronized porn, you got Riley Reid stepping up to the platform.

Balance beam. With Lana Rhodes. Yo, if we had a power duo of Riley Reid and Lana Rhodes in the porn doubles, we'd be unstoppable. Table tennis now? The fact that Zach just says porn is like we're going to pretend like that's a game that people can compete in. I said or activity.

How is that any different than fucking how is that any different than horses dancing they'll call that art in his sport i call i call people doing porn art sorry sorry i'm advanced brain here um so what country's gonna win so who's winning who do you think's winning we didn't we invent what i don't think America invented it. I'm pretty sure it was like 40,000 years ago, first porn came out. First porn just dropped. Look at this rock. Look at the stick figure drawing on it.

First porn just dropped. That's why wheels were invented. So they could just roll. Roll. The painting. Roll shows. No, could just roll shows to the next hut. It looks like it was the Greeks, those horny bastards. Oh, they're definitely winning. It wasn't Bolivia again?

No. Or the Galapagos Islands. Oh, Rooks is going to be so disappointed in us. We might not see him again on this podcast. That's fine. We can get Sheila for next episode. Sheila. Yeah. I'm sure she has a lot of thoughts on the matter.

I hope this isn't that episode that none of the parents listen to. That'd be tough. Yeah, I'll make sure to not send this one out in our newsletter to all the old people. Well, so I think we all invented all the new Olympics. It's not going to be the winter or summer. We're going to be like the spring Olympics. And we're going to be every like seven years out of nowhere. Oh, no.

Every eight years, we're the Ocho. ESPN, the Ocho Olympics. out of nowhere oh no every eight years we're the ocho espn the ocho olympics people have to mentally recover from the like discrepancies that we just caused for eight years there's gonna be seven years in between of like violations and sexual scandals and all that kind of thing get a lot a lot of lawyers to clear all that out exactly i love it but we didn't get a caller this week, but if anyone would like to call in, Brian, where can they call in and give us our Olympic ideas?

Oh, honestly, call in. If you have anything better than that could one-up Zach. In the description of every episode, there's a link. Click on that link. It'll tell you to sign up. Just put in a fake email and your name and you can send us a message.

I'll put it in the episode. Give us an idea. Yell at us. Make fun of Zach. Anything like that works. Tell Rooks how much you love us talking about icky stuff. Let him know that you really want his mom on the episode, and we'll make it happen. Until next week.

Love you guys.