It’s Wednesday My Dudes - Ep 29: Cum Take a Load Off (NSFW)

Episode Date: August 25, 2021

Just immediate apologies for this one, goes off the rails immediately. We get Ruxxs thoughts on what he would add to the Olympics, come back to Zaks original idea of adding porn to the olympics, of course talk about the spunk tank, and end with the 6/12/18/24 challenge. Rate us 5 stars! Leave a review! Follow on Social Media! and Find Other Places to Listen!

Brooks, tier list countries, best to worst, real quick, off the top of the dome, go. All seven. Start with the worst, though. I refuse to do this, but S tier, South Korea. Oh, what about North Korea? Yeah, I was going to say, what if you just stumbled and accidentally said North Korea? You know, I don't mean to do this to them, but they're going down in the F tier. Okay.

That's a very cold take there, so I appreciate it. You're not really going to get canceled on that one. I know that's not the norm, you know. I'm going against the grain here. Do you think that we would be censored in North Korea currently? They just are. We're already censored? That's our whole audience.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's everyone whole audience. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's everyone. I wonder if we can see, we can see where people are listening from. I wonder how close to North Korea are we? Can I tag North Korea in the next episode? Perfect. I mean,

do they have, like, does America have a, have a Twitter account? The president does. Who runs that Twitter account? The president does. Who runs that Twitter account? You're going to go straight to Mr. Oon? Mr. Oon.

I call him KJ, actually. Is it Dr. Oon now? I mean, I'm sure they made up that he has a bunch of doctorates at some point. They said he got 18 holes in one's in a row. So he bunch of doctorates at some point they said he like got 18 holes in a hole in ones in a row so like he's definitely a doctor at some point hey have a day on the course though he's a golf doctor has a hot dog and then on the on the turn i bet buddy i'm going this weekend and i'm so excited we're going at 7 a.m though and i hope the stands open if it's not i'm gonna go back there and just and just sling my own dog up slatter with mustard and onions and slur down is it are you going to a nicer course or like a just

like mad one uh no i mean it's like nice ish i mean it's got it's the grass is green it's not brown or anything so well but i'm saying like so like if it's like if you're going to like a nicer nicer golf course they'll have like breakfast sammies at that time instead of hot instead of the glizzes and then when you're on the turn they'll hit you with the glizzy but if you go to a nicer course they got them early morning like jimmy dean breakfast sandwich heaters and those always are like well it's not actually like jimmy dean but it's yeah it's the same the same general uh sandwich construction yeah i was gonna general sandwich construction. Yeah, structure.

I was going to say sandwich construction, and I was like, that does not sound right at all. This is a sandwich construction zone. Please watch out for sandwiches. You know how there's a cart girl for golf? Why doesn't she ever carry hot dogs with her? I feel like I would appreciate it more if she had hot dogs along with the overpriced liquor and beer that she sells. Well, because you can't like...

Like in her front pocket? A little pocket dog? She's like a bandolier. She's a bandolier of hot dogs. That'd be sick. But I think it's probably because there's no guarantee that people will buy that. So then you're just having food in the cart. You can't just, after having that in a cart in 90 degree weather for two hours, just be like, Oh yeah, just throw it in the cart you can't you can't just after having that in a cart in 90 degree weather

for two hours just be like oh yeah just throw in the fridge you could i mean on the cart you could get one of those rollers and just like keep them rolling baby yes have you ever do that 7-eleven like all day come on there are so there are so many times driving around a golf course where the cart path is fucked up. And there's hills all over the place. Those hot dogs are going to be flopping everywhere, man. Everybody loves a floppy dog, though. What's the Richter scale?

Just put on your compression shorts. We'll be all right. What's the Richter scale? What's the top? What's the highest? It's the Richter scale. No, what's the highest one, you dumb bitch? Fuck you.

What's the highest? 10? 10? It's a nice 9, right? Those things are going through a nice at least 9.8 on the richter scale while they're in there okay at least 9.8 at least repeating of course boys have you ever done disc golf yeah obviously yes you? You've played disc golf? You bang chains? How? I do bang. Yo.

I hook a little bit to the right, and by a little, I mean I'm slinging it into the trees every single time I toss it. Dude, fun game. Highly recommend. So much fun. Better than golf. Tell you that much. Are you adding it to the Olympics? Is it not in the Olympics?

I assume it's not. I don't think it is. Better than ball golf is not in the Olympics. You can't look at me and tell me for sure you know it's not in the Olympics. They have the most random shit in there. I will tell you for sure it is not in the Olympics. All right. Fact check it.

Hold on. Not my Olympics, then. Going back to the golf cart lady, is there a reason why it's only chicks? Is there, like, if there was, like, a dude pushing around the golf cart, would you be, like, more? I've seen a dude before. I feel like you could, like, bro out with a dude. Like, I get, like, the vibe. Like, they're trying to be, like, oh, like, drunk guys. Like, oh, look at the chick coming over with the alcohol.

A good tipper. But, like, if it was a dude, you could also be you could also be like yo man celeb shot on this hole not that a girl couldn't do that too but i just feel like why is it always a chick i don't think i would like somebody joining my round of golf a celeb shot it's a chick for all the old dudes because they're creepy and they're gonna hit on a girl that's like 16 that's why dude that's like the most realist thing though like i heard someone say like when you go to a gym and there's all old dudes there you like are conditioned to think that any girl that who walks in is immediately hot like like no matter if they actually are or not like if they walk into a gym you just assume they're hot for older guys i'd say i'm i'm lost by this.

I'm so lost. Yeah, elaborate. No, I'm saying like, you know those creepy guys at the gym? Like, everyone has them. The guys who blow dry their balls with the air dryer in the locker room. The fucking ball sack that goes down in their calf. Oh, buddy.

Banging around at their ankles like they have bruises on either side. Oh my goodness. On their ankles or on their testicles no their ankles their balls are rock hard they've like petrified balls of steel um but i feel like all the old people i'd balls um that's like your new flag football team name that one's free viewers um but no i feel like the gym like gym etiquette is so interesting to me because i wonder

if it's like a nature versus versus nurture thing like when we get old and go to the gym are we gonna be like naked old guy in locker room just hanging out with our buds in the steam room like dicks out no i'm never gonna get old i mean that's a generational thing yeah when those old fucks were in school in but like after, they're all showering together and shit. That was not a thing for us. I shower together with the boys. You didn't shower with the boys? Fuck no.

That was not a thing where I grew up. You didn't shower? Like football, you didn't shower? Like hit the showers? Fuck no. You drive home 15 minutes and you shower when you get home. All right, well. Zach, you want to shower later?

Yo, bro. On my way. All right. And with that. It is Wednesday, my dudes. Welcome to episode 29 of It Is Wednesday, My Dudes. We got Brian on the sticks guys real quick uh is airport food kadoba just like absolute garbage compared to like non-airport kadoba because i had it for the first time

trash all kadoba is trash really come on man we can't come out of the gates this hot kadoba's not trash come on your claim to fame is just liquid cheese and that's all you can offer me as a differentiator in the fast casual mexican food market get the fuck out of my face oh man the queso was good but man was it average i was i was pretty disappointed not to go on like crazy tangent but just growing up in my area cadoba every tuesday cadva Tuesday, half off for students. So, yeah, like not the best quality, but we were getting burritos for $3.50. I mean, that's a heater. That's a heater of a deal. That's fair.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a reason I get dollar tacos from Taco Bell. It's not because they're great. It's because they're a dollar. They're good, but they're a dollar. I've had like Kadova maybe twice, so I couldn't tell the difference between airport Kadova and not. And I'm happy I could say that. I just needed to know.

I appreciate it. Appreciate the answers. We got Bugogi Beef over there, 350 Kadova. What's good? What's good? And we got Zaddy over in Chi City. What's up? Coming at you from the 312.

It's raining here, but I got all the drip. But all the drip is on me because I'm looking good. Oh, my God. Cancel this, man. Brian, what are we talking about today? We got some random bull crap about our weeks. We got a little bit of news that I'm going to go through. Not news about like a me, but like random stuff that happened that I need your guys opinions on because i know you'll have some uh hot takes

shout out to also hold on brian one thing shout out to you for the only person on the planet keeping the word bullcrap alive i respect it don't think i've heard that word in life is from you in like a hot minute so funny i don't curse it's, uh, I need to find alternatives. Yeah. For those, I'll keep that one. For those who listen, you like, I feel like everybody is shocked to hear that you don't curse because the amount, like just,

I could say it for, I think all three of us here, when we found out you don't curse, I was baffled because you say ridiculous things. That's just not swearing, but it's just ridiculous well yeah i don't know people don't notice it at all until you bring it up but you're right but also people think the word dick is a curse word and i say that a lot so like that might throw people off so yeah burton has

burton has very loose rules with this i have also heard the bright i have heard the bright guy cuss well and man i'll tell you what it is terrifying when someone doesn't cuss backstory on that well it's always only on the football field and and what let's see what i'm when he's sleeping i don't remember he had that was your story too he like woke up in the middle of night and screamed fuck oh i totally forgot about that shit yeah okay so i've heard him cuss in his sleep which yeah again terrified me but then on the football field i've heard him cuss at people and it's just it's fascinating and i really enjoy listening to it, but also kind of terrifying. Get caught up in the moment.

I apologize. But so this week, got some news. Congrats to Amanda. She had her baby. Congrats. Honestly. Congrats, Amanda. Great timing on having her, boys.

Gotta say. Yeah. Like, really. Before it popped out. Really squeezed that one in and now everybody knows who she is so we can have another guest on the show might not have a lot of input but is it a human we could get him to be confirmed teddy tyler was already he was already on the fucking podcast okay let's let's be real here. He was near the microphone.

Okay. He was hanging out. Did anybody hear a kick? Anybody hear a kick? I put my ear up to my computer screen. I didn't hear anything. Heard a heartbeat. So we'll have him call in.

We'll get a couple of ooh-ga-ga's and we'll react. If it was a human baby or not? Yeah, human baby. Jury's still out, I think, right? We'll get a couple of goo-ga-ga's and we'll react. If it was a human baby or not? Yeah, human baby. Jury's still out, I think, right? We'll find out. Maybe it's possessed. I don't know. Other question.

Do you ever notice that the baby blankets are the same as they were from the hospital as they were in 1975? Who's making those things? What manufacturer is making those? How many baby blankets you around, my guy? Well, you see them on the pictures all the time if people post in the picture of their baby then the same like white with the if it's if it's a girl it's a pink like it has pink stripes at the top and bottom if it's blue it has the blue stripes at the top and bottom they look like the most uncomfortable blankets i could ever imagine like wrap your baby in like fine grade sandpaper it'll probably better than

that i mean what are you expecting from like blanket technology i don't know things haven't changed blankets as long as you just don't put one of those on the babies i think you're good that imagine how shocking it is for the baby it just went from a nice warm comfy wet like cushy area oh god it's still like it's like a dry like rough crispy towel that is campy that's why their baby's crying why do you think the baby's crying because your choice your choice of fucking adjectives right there is just an abomination i mean i don't mind that at least that's describing the blanket and not the yeah that's yeah that's a really that's a big fact yeah i don't know also a fun fact about the word crispy um my uh cousin's gamer tag was crispy uncle owen

after uh owen and owen and burr from star wars when he uh gets burned up so he was just crispy uncle what a deep cut r.i.p uncleP. Uncle Owen. Yikes. Well, so, how's everyone's week? Corey. I'll go. Yeah. I'll go. You had a lot.

Are we going both? Are we going both? Or are we just doing this past one? It's been two weeks. We skipped a week. As the hitman saying once said, it's been a while. Both together. It's been a while. Ooh.

I'm not going to lie. Bunch of mid-20 to upper-20 things. Two wedding pieces. Went to my uncle's. This was two weeks ago. Went to my uncle's wedding reception. They got married last year and just did a reception, which respect because, you know, no more going through the vows and all that. So we just kind of drank, hang out with the family.

That was fun this weekend though went to nashville for a bachelor party well got landed in nashville in nashville time at eight in the morning our flight took off at like six and went straight to some southern comfort food went to the bar we were at the bar at 10 30 don't recommend till five and uh played disc golf played top golf and then hung out with the boys and i'll say this i don't know like to add on to zach's what what do we call like the old man segment like yeah feeling feeling washed up feeling talking old guys like i had a great time and confirmed with the other boys we you know took it easy we got drunk on friday and saturday a little bit on thursday but like there wasn't people being like shots every second of the day like we need to black out we got pedialyte on deck we had five ready to go

people flavor oh uh strawberry it was they had two flavors and it was either strawberry or it was cool ranch strawberry or i think it was like it was like two fruits combined and it was like two fruits combined, and it was like banana, like orange or something. It was like weird. Ew. Exactly. But I would rate my weekend. Five chains banged. Oh, did you froth this weekend?

That's why you brought it up? Yeah. It was fun. Oh. Also, wait. oh did you froth this weekend that's why you brought it up yeah it was fun oh you literally also also wait i heard people don't like they people who actually play don't like the term froth it's disc golf not frisbee golf i think i don't care i don't respect them enough to like well we just lost all of our disc golf listeners i hope you're happy about it great this is an answer to us for all of us man

this is an announcement to anybody who froths i'm gonna call it for all thing if you want to come find me come find my address and i will throw these hands exactly meet me at the court at the marianos on the corner of uh uh lawrence and ravenswood in chicago and i'll be with a sign that says i for all for zach and I'll beat the shit out of you. That should be... Are you playing fantasy football? That should be your punishment for last place. What, frothing? Getting beat up by a frolfer?

No, you don't coordinate that. You just stand on a corner with an absurd sign about frothing and see if anybody comes up to you for 24 hours. Are you saying frothing or frothing? Dude, you might get beat up in Chicago for just standing there, let alone holding a sign. Someone might steal your phone.

Hey, shout out to Eduardo Escobar. Yo, shout out. We'll talk after the pod about Eduardo, my guy. Rooks, how was your weekend? You know, it's been an up and down couple of weeks a lot of highs a lot of lows but uh this past weekend um got to see the r man ryan hickey worldwide sports radio network came to visit um that's his full name the whole network yeah it's not it's not ryan It's not, it's not Brian.

It's Catholic. It's Ryan Hickey worldwide sports radio network. Um, but he came to visit, um, and him and his girl, we had a night on the town. We went out, checked out a few bar places. We were down at the wharf, which is like, um, it's adult, which is like Corey said, it's kind of a nice, it's a nice like change of pace, you know, it's adult which is like cory said it's kind of a nice it's a nice like change of pace you know it's not well so so here's what i mean so the wharf everyone's sitting down there's families here and there people are just hanging out drinking a little bit vibe and taking in the water taking in the scenes and then no one's dancing on an elevated surface yeah and then so

after that we went to another bar that had like games and stuff. And that was fun. We played. And then the last bar we went to was 801, which is a more lit, like younger bar. And the the difference between the wharf and 801 is the wharf. As I said, everyone's sitting down relaxing 801 there's people buying they have these huge moscow mule things that you're supposed to split between like eight people because it's just this massive thing of alcohol these like this group of four people

got it and they were sitting there and i was like you guys are dead i can hear how drunk you already are you guys are fucking dead and it was one of those girls birthdays and they asked me and mendy to sing happy birthday to them and i was so unhappy i was just like god fucking damn it and you did it i did do it i was just like fuck it why not who's the alto who's the soprano well i did that i did that half-ass just like i'm gonna blend in with the group and just like like you, you know what I'm saying? No, man, you got a riff. You got a solo at the end.

Do the little vibrato. I don't know these fucking people. I don't know these fucking people. But like, freestyle at the end. Who is the saxophone and who is the sousaphone? Ooh. Sousaphone? Saxophone.

It was two dudes and two chicks and they asked us to sing and after we sung they were like haha that's so great thank you we've been making we've been asking people to do this at every bar tonight I was like fuck you man I thought this was a big deal for you okay and now I'm

fifth in line here god damn should we cancel girls this episode we can cancel girls girls take out half half of the world it's a tough first it's froth then it's all women the major category oh yeah yeah that knocks out the big population mostly froth no in between yeah uh-huh cory you keep saying froth i i'm just gonna say it you're saying f-r-o-t-h every time i said it twice i'm gonna listen back oh you said it once when i said don't say it and

i said it right then i swear you've said it like four times i just keep hearing besides the l brian drew a line in the sand, and you know what? I guess I'm on one side. Didn't think I would be on it. Oh, wait. Are you against Froth, and I'm against Froth? Is it different things? We're canceling two groups now.

You're against Foam, and I'm against white dudes with long hair. And we're all against girls. Okay. Yeah. Cancel girls 2K21. Burn, what do you mean? Am I right, guys? White dudes with long hair. And we're all against girls. Okay. Yeah. Uh-huh. Cancel girls 2K21. Burn, what do you mean white dudes with long... Is that referring to frolfers?

Oh, yeah. Have you not seen the froth championship from a week ago? The highlights? Are you saying froth now? Did you say froth? Oh, definitely did. I don't know. He doesn't roll off the tongue very well. Losing my fucking mind over here. Alright, let's move on.

Zach, how was your week? Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, yeah. What would you rate it? What would you rank your week? How many froths would you rank it?

But also, how many froths would you then, too? Alright, I'm not going to do the froth froth now i want to say froth god fucking damn it um i'm not gonna do anything any froth related uh ratings but i will give it a nice uh i'll give it a nice hundred dollar uber charge it's it's multiple it was multiple it was multiple ubers oh that's fine that's not it's so what the why i give it that is like it was it was a nice good time if we're ubering that many times that means we're checking a lot of things out you know we're covering a lot of ground we had a good time but then again yeah i also spent a hundred dollars on ubers and i'm not too pleased about it

but hey i'm sure you get the ranking i'm treating the visitors they're visitors now zaddy thanks brian uh so since i've been off we've all been off for the past two weeks uh the past two weekends have been actually very adult focused heavy i don't think i went out at all the past two weekends so got my mind and body right. And let me tell you, waking up on a Sunday and being productive and going to the gym and then getting food, cleaning your apartment, makes you feel great. Watch some EPL. Shout out Chelsea for whooping that ass.

They dominated. And I watched some Bears preseason football. Shout out Justin Fields. But yeah. It's Andy Dalton's time though no it's not it's not it's not god no please please god no um but yeah i mean like nothing like super exciting really went on a couple hinge dates it was fine it was good um how many is a couple two that's the definition of a couple It should be two if it's not.

No, it's two. Hey, people say a couple for like seven for some reason. Two with the same person or different people? Different people. Asshole. No, I'm just kidding. I got grilled by one of them asking like, hey, like to a bar was like, hey, should we take all your hinge dates?

I'm like, I've literally been on four total in like the span of like. How many of those four though did you take there? No, I like to mix it up. I like to mix it up. Dude, I get the worst anxiety though. I don't get anxiety for the actual date. Like I feel like I'm old enough and have enough life experience where I'm just not going to get nervous for this type of thing anymore.

Like it's going to work out or it's not. Like we're going to have a good conversation or not'm just not gonna get nervous for this type of thing anymore. Like it's gonna work out or it's not like we're gonna have a good conversation or not. What I do get nervous for though. It's 50-50. What I do get nervous for though is if the bar doesn't take reservations and there's no rest for sit and then we're just like shit out of luck. And then I look like a dummy. So I get more nervous about the planning aspect of it than the actual like sitting down conversation part of it, which is kind of just hit the hit the bar up on Instagram, slide into their DMs.

You're really good at that. You're not afraid. It works every time. But yeah, what would I give it? I'd give it, because I went to Costco. Oh, I have a, from Costco. I'd give it 60 Welch's fruit snacks out of 90, which is the amount I bought from Costco. I give it 60 Welch's fruit snacks out of 90, which is the amount I bought from Costco.

Did you eat 60? You had 30? And how long? I usually average about five a night and I got them on Sunday. Wait, like five packs or five individual fruit snacks? No, five packs.

Yeah, it's not that much. They're small. Oh my goodness. And you just like chug them. You pack them like dips sometimes too. Make you feel cool. No, but I get it. I bought a box of Gushers on like Sunday

and I finished it on Sunday. Yeah, because you have to. You can't have just one, so. You just keep down with those. The first ingredient they say on the box is real fruit juice. And why would they lie to me? They have no reason to lie to me mr big big fruit snack has no reason to lie is real fruit juice in quotes and it's like something they trademarked and it's like

actually just some random they have another company called real fruit juice yeah it's just ground up like dirt clumps they dyed red red. R-E-E-L. It's from your favorite stuff, dude. Sawdust, man. Sawdust. Oh. All right. How much sawdust do you think you could put in a gusher before someone notices?

Probably a cup. What does that mean? Like, percentage of the gusher or gummy? Sure. Yeah, percent. I think you can't get more than 15. Yeah, compared to a Rice Krispie, I think it's going to be a lot less. Because that's absorbing all the juicy stuff on the inside.

I feel like you have to put it in the actual gummy part. You feel like you can't have it be in the juicy part. It would be so noticeable in the juicy part. But in the outer edge, it would be much more doable. Yeah. Fair. Fair. Brian, how was your weekends? Oh, thanks for

asking, sir. I was in Wyoming, so I was also doing an old man thing, so good for all of us for being sort of washed up. But I fed a chipmunk. That was dope. Felt like chipmunk. That was dope. Felt like a Disney princess. It was great.

Saw a bear within like 15 feet of me. So that was cool. Didn't die though. Did you call it a bitch? I called it a jerk. I don't know. What's a PG version of that that I could have actually called it? Burn, just say the word bitch, man.

All right. So we also went to a restaurant that was on Guy Fieri's Diners, just say the word bitch, man. All right, so we also went to a restaurant that was on Guy Fieri's Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, so huge highlight of the weekend. We met, like, 40 different people that we kept running into. We met our waiter. We didn't meet our waiter. We had dinner, and then, like, the next day,

he, like, ran into our waiter, like, taking a nap on a bench, like, outside randomly. You sure that was the waiter? Super strange. He was. He was very memorable. He told us to go on a 25-mile hike. And we were like, we're not going to do that.

No, we're not going to do that. Maybe he was napping after his 25-mile hike. He was not anywhere close to that. Well, it was a compliment. He was like, these people can handle a 25-mile hike. Look how jacked they all are. So take it as a compliment. No was like, these people can handle a 25-mile hike. Look how jacked they all are. So take it as a compliment. No. No.

He is just crazy. He was like, oh, I broke my elbow a couple weeks back, but I went kayaking for 12 miles yesterday, and it feels pretty good. And we're all just like, who are you? How do you break your elbow? I don't know. I've fractured a growth blade in my elbow before. Is that the same thing?

Does that count? Pizza accident? Congrats on growing. Foosball accident. I tore a ligament too, fuckface. Are your arms different lengths now? Ooh. No.

Proceeds to put arms in front of him. I don't think so. I don't know how to measure this. I don't know if I'm putting them... It looks like you're doing synchronized diving with no diving. He's doing the YMCA. Putting his arms up like that.

But Wyoming was sick. Getting home, though, was a nightmare. So I get on a flight. It was me, Cody, and Amy, but Cody and Amy are going to Philly, so they're on a different flight out of Jackson Hole. i get on my plane we're sitting in the tarmac for like 10 minutes it seems normal get a call from cody he's like hey man i was like why are you calling me he's like oh it's like a madhouse they like are moving people out of my flight so

like people are like all running around inside the airport he's like just making sure my flight was moving i was like well we'll find out and then hang up a dude comes on the plane with like a yellow vest and he's like running down the aisle'll find out, and then hang up. A dude comes on the plane with a yellow vest and is running down the aisle. He's calling out Alpha Tango Charlie 34 is missing or something. Runs back out. I don't know what it is. AC-130 inbound.

Dude's calling in killstreaks. He runs out. They don't explain that. Then a girl comes back on the plane, bawling her eyes out. No idea what's happening. She's holding her head. Looks like something's wrong. She talks to a bunch of flight attendants.

Now we're 15 minutes late. Then she leaves the plane. Cool. Kick her out of here. Let's leave. Because my next flight is only, I only had an hour-long layover, and now we're like 15 minutes late, so now I have a 45-minute-long layover. They start boarding 30 minutes before the flight's supposed to leave,

so I only have like 10 minutes to get to my, like brian you're so good at math man i missed five on that um crying girl comes back on the plane but like wiping her tears she seems all right now don't know what happened but she sits down another five minutes later we finally take off so we're like 25 minutes late at this point i'm checking my gate for where i'm landing it's on the other side of the airport because i land in like gate a and it's like a gate b and i'm looking at news articles and it's like salt lake city uh everyone's mad about their new airport because how long the walk is between the gates i'm like sick awesome so i'm gonna have to land and i have like 20 minutes to get to my gate and on the thing it says it's a seven or eight minute walk in between like gate gates a

and gates b i'm like okay cool i can just run as fast as i can i can get there it'll be like 10 minutes left keep in mind i have no check bags i have a backpack and a duffel bag that i'm carrying on me plus like a little pillow thing and a hoodie and like a water bottle that i'm all just like hugging to myself get out of the plane me and like eight other people just start sprinting but they all like veer off we all go to apparently different flights i get down the hallway there's all the little like moving sidewalk things i'm just booking it but like no one's moving out of the way so i have to like tap people on the shoulder scoot by him he tackled every single one of them it was horrible i dropped my water bottle at one point and it's made out of metal so it like clanged super loud

everyone turned like a lady like gasped and i'm like it's fine it's a water bottle but i'm like still mid-run and it's like ahead of me so i pick it up and keep going get to gate b check the sign again because i'm like just to make sure what number it is now it says it's like gate a i freak out turn around hop it back the other way i already ran for five minutes so i have like eight minutes left now run back to all the way go past all those people i just told to get out of the way have to talk tat like run in front of them this time, don't have to tap on their shoulder get to gate A again to where it says it is, look at the sign, it's a different place it's not going to Pittsburgh, look at the big sign again, it says it's back at B

don't know what happened, thought I read it wrong, start freaking out because now I only have 5 minutes turn back around, run back the other way again at this point also have a mask on because covid uh can't breathe uh sweat is actually running down my face run past those people for the third time get to the gate with like two three minutes to spare the flight times like it's fine it's fine you'll be all right get to my seat though like sweats pouring down my face talk to lady next to me she's like oh yeah the sign was just wrong. So I read it right the first time, but they just had the wrong thing for what my flight was.

Looked at my phone. I ran a full mile with my backpack and duffel bag and hoodie and pillow and a water bottle in my hands and a mask on. And so that weekend we went on a 14 mile hike, which I promptly forgot to bring my hiking boots for. But also, my insoles for the sneakers that I was wearing were in my hiking boots. So I was in Nike, like, freeze without the insoles as well.

So there was about, like, a centimeter of, like, really crappy rubber in between my feet and, like, rocks for 14 miles. And then the next morning, I had to run through an airport for a mile. So I was not happy. But, like, you know, the rest of the weekend was great you could add the running to catch your plane between layovers to the olympics uh I would crush absolutely well if reading the side is part of it last place but like if it was just running absolutely crush it then on my flight from Salt Lake City to Pittsburgh I'm oh no Salt Lake City to Atlanta sorry land in Atlanta four hour layover Atlanta to Pittsburgh get on the flight there's a nice couple next to me I'm sitting on the aisle sit down everyone buckles up we're about

to leave they raise their hands flight attendant comes by they're like hey how can I help you the lady starts speaking to the flight attendant in spanish i'm like okay all right but look at the flight attendant she does not know spanish she looks so lost a big wide eye but the lady's going like a writing motion and says the word papel which is paper in spanish like i remember one thing from sixth grade i was like dude i was like i know one word and that was it so like hopefully that's right so she comes back with a sticky note and a pen. The lady writes down something, but she writes it in Spanish and gives it to the flight attendant. Again, the flight attendant's like super lost.

She's like, I guess I'll go find someone who knows Spanish. Walks away, comes back. No one knows Spanish apparently. So I download Google Translate on my phone and like type into it to the lady. And like, I don't think she knows Spanish. I don't either, but type into this. And the lady's like, oh, and she pulls out her phone. She has Google Translate on my phone and like type into it to the lady. And like, I don't think she knows Spanish. I don't either, but type into this. And the lady's like, oh, and she pulls out her phone. She has Google Translate.

Why she didn't use it in the first place. No clue. But then she tries to like speak into it instead of type. Cause like that makes sense. You just wrote something, write it again, but she has a mask on. So it doesn't pick it up. Right. So it doesn't, it just, it's a bunch of jumbled more like garbage.

It says something, something formula. I'm like, I don't know what you're trying to do we're not like the powder puff girls are you sure she wasn't she wasn't looking for the krabby patty formula maybe she did not look like plankton she she was bigger than like three inches tall so like i think we're all right but we go back and forth i'm talking to her like sort of in spanish but then she tries like speaking in spanish to me i'm like ah I smile and like put my hands up she finally like figures it out she is like actually picks it up and translates it correctly I get it the flight attendant she just wants to know if there's like form she has to fill out cuz she's like from Colombia cool problem solved flight keeps going on

we're like five minutes from landing she turns next to me she's like sorry from Pittsburgh I was like oh so you know some English and like she said it a pretty strong accent but she had enough to like say a full sentence to me I was like yeah I'm from here is this your first time she's like no my son works at Carnegie Mellon which is like the university here he usually translates for me I was like bro you you had so much more English that you could have used. You just made me and this flight attendant, like, be wide-eyed for a full hour flight, feel like we have no idea what's going on.

Bamboozled. It was a lot. It was a lot. And then I stood up and almost hit my head on the, like, the bins that were coming down, and she started dying laughing. And I was like, all right, I don't know. She's giving me a lot of weird energy. Comedian guy.

So it was a lot. Big guys the trip i don't know man i'm really curious about this ranking i'll say that much oh yeah dude no clue what's what's a 14 miles out of something i don't i can't fit all that into a ranking let's go with uh one fed chip monk out of three mistranslations yeah yeah that'll do is that nautical or land that is a european so we're in metric okay all right just. Actually, she's from Colombia. Do they use metric in Colombia? Pesos. Okay. Is it bad that Burn just told that whole story, but the main thing from Burn's weekend,

and this wasn't even Burn's weekend, the main thing that's been on my mind is that Gushers is a really gross name for something you eat. That's all I've been thinking about for the last, and like, I listened to your story, Byrne, but I'm just saying, like, all I've been thinking about

is Gushers is kind of a disgusting thing for something you put in your mouth. Well, let me give you an alternative. How about Squirters? Ooh, yeah. I'd buy those. So I kind of think they went with the right word. I like oozers, man.

Sploogers. Sploogers? That's hard. I like sploogers. Change the name. Zach will have five a day. Tag gutters. We want the smoke.

Creamers? Will they? Oh. No, but creamers, to be fair, would it work? Because it's not cream coming out of it That's true It could be Do you think Gushers would sponsor our spunk tank? No

Paint a picture for me, Brian Paint a picture It would not work Because, again, as we just said, there's not cream in the gusher. But I need to hear it. The consistency of the gusher inside is the same consistency as Spunk, so I feel like we could just get, like, it's pretty. Yeah. Okay, look. Here.

Here's what I'm thinking. We got to lounge out front. Giant gushers. You sit them on beanbag chairs. That's where we rope the people in. Then, spunk tank. They have a new flavor. Mystery flavor. You know, mystery flavor, it's always white colored. Correct. Because for some reason,

it's always pina colada. I was going to say, that's a thing. I remember they did actually have a white gusher at one point. That's true. Guess what it was. You'll never guess what it was. It's either that or it's either pineapple which i feel like would apply very well in this case exactly so it works then our spunk take on the back it's just a giant gusher and whenever you get like knocked in it just like squirts out and covers you it's like the slime zone at like nickelodeon Studios. Oh, God. I hate it.

It sounds like Nickelodeon Studios. Yeah, bro. Do you guys know the thing? Well, yes. Like, but you're comparing this. You're comparing green slime on people to someone going to something called a spot, like literally called a spunk tank and getting white gusher fluid all over them. Dude,

this sounds like the, it sounds like the deleted, it sounds like a deleted, like Willie from like Charlie and the chocolate factory. It was like Willie with like Johnny Depp is Willy Wonka. It sounds like the seventh kid they brought in. We're like, no,

we're still not going to include Enrique in this one. We're just going to cut them out altogether. We're not going to watch him go into the spunk tank i i will also say too this is that this video definitely exists somewhere there's definitely somebody who this is their thing and this video definitely like we could find this video so fast i'm like yeah it would take it would take probably three searches. A video of someone getting white gusher-esque liquid sprayed on them in a

spunk tank scenario. I'm not saying it would be come though, but I'm saying like for something like a spunk tank, I bet something like that like there's a video of something like that that exists. Okay. Do you think they have their own website and they would sponsor us since we talk about them so much?

It's disgusting how much it comes up. It's disgusting. It's all Brian. I made the joke one time, and then Brian is latched onto it like a leech. Guys, it's so good, though. It's so funny. It's such a good visual. It's so fucking gross.

It's a bad visual. You've got to remember the backstory. remember the backstory you gotta remember the backstory we're at a sperm bank we're running out of sperm they're zach was saying that like don't guys feel lonely when they go to a sperm bank and then their sperm doesn't get used so that's why we needed to rev up some marketing for them it's golden we're just trying to drum up some business but we need to reach out we need to find in that in that scenario though like in that scenario how are we making people whose sperm doesn't get used feel better because we're using their sperm in the spunk tank yeah yes or we're just drumming up business so people go in and be like, yeah, my eggs need some sperm. Let's go.

Bada boom, bada bing. I'm convinced it's got to be. What's more demoralizing, getting turned down on a date or broken up with or finding out that your sperm did not get used and they had to throw it away? I don't think they send you weekly stats. Still nobody has grabbed your shit. I'd want the stats, be honest i'd want them to say like oh zach like because i feel like so can they like when you like leave a deposit at the bank do they split it up like how much like how much how much can you like separate like it

is my deposit it's just however much i can deposit and And I can go to a range of five to ten women? Or is it only one lucky lady that's going to get my cup? I feel like you have samples. So if you're buying it, you get the sample. It's Costco. They should do it. It's Costco. Whoa, is it a taste test?

You get a test spoon? You get a sample? Yikes. No, they do it like you're selling a ticket. You got to do it like you're selling a ticket on StubHub. It's like you put it up for a price and then nobody's buying it. Nobody's buying it. You're going to drop that bad boy a little bit.

We're not on StubHub. We're not reselling sperm. We're at the original selling. Ticketmaster. I don't know. Pick your medium of ticket selling. Wouldn't that still be like – That's still resell.

It's still reselling it. Well, yes, it is. But you can still sell still be like, that's still resell. It's still reselling it. Well, yes it is, but you can still sell it for like, it's your sperm. Like if you buy a ticket, if you buy a ticket, hold on, no. If you buy a ticket,

can you not just resell that ticket? If I have the deposit. But you're giving it to the bank. It's not, we're not just selling sperm door to door. We're not vacuum salesmen. The gang solves the sperm crisis. Say the fucking dark web, dude.

Do you think it earns interest? Do you think you're, like, sperm in the bank earns interest? Do you think they just add a little more, like, of, like, extra? Like, it's a savings account? Yeah, like, I mean... Like, it's a savings account yeah like i mean like it's a high i just i just entered it high yield sperm account yeah like you can't take it out to your

65 for a time exactly you gotta you gotta you gotta be vested you say brian no can we no but didn't you have things for us to talk about no no this is this is the topic what are you talking about what do you think you could invest it in do you get to pick like what types of women so then it like i feel like like no it's opposite it's opposite is it realistically though isn't it isn't it like and this could be wrong and i think i've seen this in like movies and shit but don't they i bet it's wrong sample don't they have your like stats like don't they have like ethnicity like all that kind of shit yeah yeah yeah which because they're they're really picky you have to be like six foot and like college educated i just like that rook said stats instead of like information

you get like you have somebody who's at the bank announcing introductions for everyone they read. Standing at six foot tall, hailing from Indiana. Nah. I think it's more like a combine sheet. You know what I'm saying? It's got 40 time on there. It's got all that kind of shit. Dude, I think you should be able to...

That's why I think I would want to know. Because let's say the sperm I donate, my kid turns out be like a six nine power forward drafted by the kings first overall leads them to their first ever nba championship i want some of his earnings like i want to know like that's my boy like i may not like well yeah it is it's half of me he's half of me oh wait i actually do think you can you can specify if you want to let them be able to contact you. That's part of it. So you could say that. I don't think you could get their, like, MBA royalties.

Why not? But you would have to, like, you have to meet up with them and be like, hey, I'm your father. Let's be friends. What is that? And, like, slowly work your way in. But then you still have to hope that that person wants to contact you. It's not like you just check this box and they can contact you. So in 18 years, we're going to make them contact you.

This is what you do. Plan. You find out who they are before they find out who you are. Ruin their life. Get rid of their father. Then they need a father figure. Then you swoop in. Millionaire.

What does the outdoor of like the outside of a sperm bank look like? Like I feel like the marketing is way down. Like I'd have like two like cartoon sperm like kind of like come on in. Do you think you've ever seen a sperm bank look like? I feel like the marketing's way down. I'd have two cartoon sperm kind of like, come on in. Do you think you've ever seen a sperm bank? What's a clever name for a sperm bank? I feel like we could come up with one. It's like the wacky, wavy, inflatable tube that has a sperm outside.

Exactly. Or just like a giant egg-shaped building. No, you've got to have like the, you remember in the movie Accepted when Jonah Hill's wearing the sperm mascot? Like he's wearing the full mascot outfit? You've got to have one the, you remember in the movie Accepted when Jonah Hill's wearing the sperm mascot? Like he's wearing the full mascot outfit. You got to have one of those dudes in front just spinning the sign and shit. What's the sign say, though?

Ask me about my wiener. Oh, I got a heater slogan. Come take a load off. Oh, my God. That's a fucking heater. I feel like that's more for the the lucky lady coming in right like come take a load off like come take a load off our shells hey it's universal i think it works both ways yeah it's universal baby i like it all right yikes

um so we need to reach out and do the marketing for a new sperm bank that's failing. Is that going to be our new TV show? It's like Nathan for you. Nathan for you, yeah. Is that government sponsored? Or is it private equity? Could we start our own sperm bank? Is it like FDA?

It has to be like FDA approved. Nah, you're good. We would just reuse the same bottles. We'll be fine. Do they have to insure the money because it's a bank? Do they insure your sperm? Like up to $50,000 or whatever it is? We're getting so deep into the

actual schematics of this that now I'm like... I'm not interested anymore. Did you say schematics? Yes. You're going to make us say fluff. I'm not trying to... This man said shemantics.

I'm not trying to look around for a building for rent that we can rent out and shit. I don't care about these details. This man said shemantics. This is why you're not a businessman. It's true. He's not wrong.

This man said schematics. All right, Brian, please, for the love of God, I'm asking you. Let's move to the news. So we have our sperm bank. Do they have egg banks? It's where you freeze your eggs, right? Yeah, it's a thing. Just bypass this, man.

It's a coop. It's a coop. The coop. The egg. Is it like a safety deposit box? You just go in. You kind of have a little drawer. You can buy a pack of 12. There's jumbo, grade A.

Baker's doesn't? Baker's doesn't. Yeah. You got to always open up the package, make sure they're not cracked. What about just egg whites? Is that fine? Or is that racist? I don't think it's racist until you said it isn't racist.

Yeah, it wasn't until you said it wasn't. I wasn't thinking it was racist, and then you said that, and then I was thinking, yeah, it's a little racist. Yeah, alright. So I was like, what's the yolk gonna be? And then it's like, oh, okay. Cancel two weeks in a row, you fucking idiot. God damn it. I didn't say I was going to.

I was just saying, is it a thing? Hey, self-awareness. Awareness, way to be. Yeah, yeah, I'm aware. Self-awareness. Shut up, schmantics. Schmantics. Okay. So, yeah,antics. Schmantics. Okay.

So, yeah, we can get off this. So, two weeks ago, we talked about the Olympics a lot. Oh, my God. Shut up. Keep going. You can do better than that. Two weeks ago, we were talking about the Olympus because it just ended. The Olympus?

We needed to actually talk. Did I say Olympus? None of us could talk today? Apparently not. That's where Mount Heaven is. Do we just end it now? No, no, no. Go for it.

I need to hear it. Okay. So we talked about the Olympics, and we talked about what sport we would add. Me and Corey and Zach came up with plenty of great options, but Rooks was not there. So we are now posing the question of Rooks. What sport or activity? There's no limit on what you choose.

Just what are you going to add to the Olympics as a competition? And what country? As a reminder. Oh, thank you. Perfect follow up. And as a reminder, Zach wanted to add porn as an event. So you can kind of pretty much pick anything. So hit us, Rux. Or you can double down and say you would like to choose porn also and give us your reason.

I just don't. My thing, choosing porn, there's just not. It's very subjective, you know. How are we going to give out a gold medal to anybody not it's very subjective you know it's a very how are we going to give out a gold medal to anybody it's super it's like artistic gymnastics dude decibels no how should you how how someone looks dance or like doing like dance something something choreographed compared to fucking porn where everyone has like a dance everyone has different tastes though like there's there is practical um like there's technique to the other

thing i know there's technique in porn i know but like counterpoint but no but like it's super subjective like it's super it's way too subjective it's way too open-ended in swimming there's the 100 meter freestyle 100 meter butterfly you just do we're gonna do like regular vaginal sex we're gonna do anal we're gonna do oral we're gonna do tentacle we're gonna do bondage we're gonna do uh role play bump tentacle up a little bit yeah we're gonna do um it just seems it just seems like a lot and it seems like something that would... Bukkake would be tight. You could do an average velocity and then a coverage aspect. It's like in swimming when they show you how far behind they are,

like their actual speed. The ghost. Oh, my fucking God. He's catching up to the world record, the Olympic record. That's when you need to pick your partner. That's when you need to have a good partner because you need to make sure that they're locked and loaded, literally.

Is this duos or it's not singles? Well, I feel like you have to limit it so everyone has an equal opportunity, but I feel like a normal Bukkake would want at least four or five dudes. Right? At least four or five dudes? Probably, yeah. I would say on average.

Rooks is like, I hate to admit it, but yeah, probably. It's a bell curve. All right, Rooks. Now the more we're going into it, even the more fucked up it sounds. So fuck no, that's not what I'm choosing. You know, I mean, following all of that with my answer, you guys are going to be disappointed, but I would love the hot dog eating competition to be in the Olympics.

I would love it. Oh, that's good. That's practical. That's a good, but I would love the hot dog eating competition to be in the Olympics. I would love it. That's a good one. I would love it. Also, there should be competition to that. The United States would fucking clean up in the men's division, baby. Joey Chestnut for life. That guy would fuck some people's life up. Kobayashi?

Kobayashi's done. He's past his prime. He's past his prime, baby. He'll come back for the Olympics. Chestnut's been doing this shit for years. A one-time event. Nah, man. Joey Chesto would have at least, like, four more Olympics left in him. Yeah. There was an article, like, three days ago that came out that was trending on Twitter.

It was like, eating a hot dog shortens your lifespan by 35 minutes. And then everyone was tagging Joey Chesto on the bottom. I'm like, dude, you're going to die soon. Like, you need to watch out. The amount of hot dogs that dude has eaten,'s put like negative 75 years onto his lifespan based on but that's whatever science showed that that's a good idea because you could tailor it to the host city so like for tokyo you could do sushi or ramen or something like that and then when it goes oh we're doing just food oh yeah just like any kind of food oh like for like the host city do any kind

of food eating competition i could find that'd that really cool actually they should open up with that show a little culture get the people going yeah i could fuck with that what about a like 24 hour long version of it so it's not most you can eat in like 10 minutes or whatever it's mostly eating a day i got it really push them i got it go every single one of the olympic athletes on your team is doing a eating contest throughout the entire olympics and it's like a relay so it's continuous but it's how much by the end have you eaten so it's like the opening ceremonies boom kick off you don't have to keep on eating, but the team who has eaten the most by the end of the Olympics wins. And it really plays a factor into all the other games, too. Do you know how hard that would be to measure?

What do you mean? You have to go into a room, and you have to be on camera while you're shoving dogs down your throat. Well, they've got to have judges that just sit in that fucking room and watch people shovel food in their mouth for weeks at a time. Yeah. There's judges that do the entire Olympics, so it makes sense.

Yeah, but it's the Krispy Kreme mile. The Olympics are not continuous. It's not like... I mean, kind of. But yeah. Whatever. Keep going. Reminds me of the Krispy Kreme mile. You do six donuts at the beginning run two and a half miles and then another six and then two and a half back or it's like

two miles there a full dozen and then two and a half back dude do you remember when I tried to just eat a dozen donuts in one day yeah I did that and I didn't run at all I sat on my couch like a lazy piece of shit and I could barely do Granted, I don't think I'm in shape. Would you be in shape to do that? Kobayashi is. Yeah, but Joey Chestnut isn't. But Matt Stoney is. We're going to go down the line because we hit my limit of people I know that eat.

Black Widow? Come on. The lady? Anderson the Spider Silva? No, that's different. The one chick that's actually really good who's named Black Widow. Yeah, Scarlett Johansson. Natasha. Natasha.

Oh, you know what else we could throw in the Olympics, though? We could throw in one of my favorite challenges that I have yet to do but the 6 12 18 24 challenge so you saw that that would be so great what's that again because i've heard of like the nine the nine by nine by nine challenge which is like nine hot dogs nine beers and nine innings six oh you're gonna love this you're gonna love this so this one so there's four different things you have to do and you have to like each one gets assigned to 6 12 18 or 24 based on your decision the four things you're choosing between are beers miles orgasms and donuts and so in a 24 hour time span you have to do one of those things six times one

of those things 12 times one of those things 18 and one of them 24 okay i'm doing miles the the last one six or 24 six yes fuck yes great answer yeah uh six great answer you said you said six what is it six then what 12 6 12 18 24 12 i'm doing um 12 beers fuck 12 years to 18 donuts 24 orgasms like that's not... What the fuck is wrong with you? Nothing's going to be coming out. Like, that's easy work. That's easy work. That's a typical Saturday for your boy.

You know you have 24 hours, right? Yeah, that's fine. It's an hour a day. I get bored in an hour. Oh, my gosh. An hour, whatever. It's like... You're not thinking this through.

Yeah, you're not thinking about this at all. I can't drink... Beer is, like, tough. If it was, like, high noons or something, like all i can't drink beer is like tough if it was like high noons or something like i can't drink a lot of beer okay 20 24 alcoholic beverages okay then i would do it's actually like you got me back in yeah all right i would do then yeah 24 alcoholic beverages uh 18 orgasms, 12 donuts. 18 orgasms is still a lot, man.

So much, dude. Why do you guys act like it's tough to orgasm? You guys are acting like it's a pain in the ass. I'm going to pose a question to you. How many times have you orgasmed in one day? Sorry, I just erased all the tally marks I put on my bathroom account. But, like, it's not close to 18. But you're acting like you couldn't do it.

Like, if you put your mind to it, like, every hour, it's like, all right, time to go. Time to go. Yank it. But here's the thing. Like, if you do that, then you're going to be running. What did you say? You're going to run six miles too and then you're still going to have to drink and eat? That's so...

24 times is just a lot on your body. It's way less hard on your body than six miles. I'm dreading the fact that I have to run six miles. Six miles is nothing. My miles are absolutely six. That's the

lonely thing I can't re-attack. You don't have to do them consecutively, though. That's the thing. I don't care. She can, like, run a mile. Jerk off. You could run... Oh, my. Yeah, yeah. Eat a beer, drink a beer and a donut. Repeat. No, you have to eat the beers.

Eat the beer, drink the beer and a donut. Repeat. No, you have to eat the beers. Eat the beer, drink the donut. Got it, sorry. Freeze, I guess you can't. Zach, you're a psycho. Oh my god. I am shocked to think how, you guys are acting like I'm asking, yeah, shoot me 24 times non-fatal areas in my body. Bro, your shit would literally be like a boxer after 12 rounds.

That thing would be bruised and bloodied, my guy. I ain't hear no bell. If I would invest, if I knew I was going to do it, I'd invest in the proper tools. Like lube and a fleshlight. And I'd just be like, all right, let's do it. That poor fucking fleshlight, man just be like all right like let's do it that poor fucking fleshlight man oh my god i like i'm talking about like talk about the fucking crazy man oh my god i'm convinced that zach's been waiting for this question and he actually is just trying to drum up business for

his own sperm bank like it's just only all of his sperm because he's been waiting to say 24 what if hold on what if you what if you ask this question to a to a lady i could bet you they would say it's different it's not different it is not different it is different not at all not at all it's completely different honestly someone call in please and call please for the love of god calling you guys are. You guys are crazy. You guys are crazy. Honestly, when you jerk off for more – Hold on, hold on.

Honestly, when you jerk off longer times, it's way better because there's less cleanup because nothing's coming out because you used it up. It hasn't had time to regenerate. So it's actually better. Cleanup's not the issue here. Cleanup's not the issue. What is the issue? I don't get the issue.

I've heard the pounding of your ween over and over again is an issue how are you guys also putting your penis on a table and hitting it with a hammer until you jerk off how are you jerking off you have to think about it too is like the more you're mad the more that you're gonna jerk off too you're gonna get more stamina with it and it's gonna take longer and by the time you get to 24 that shit's gonna be to be like a 45-minute process, man. Like, that thing is going to be awful. How did we get back here? Do you got good forearm strength?

Like, do you have enough forearm capability for that? Dude, that's the best thing. You switch up the arms. You build both sides of them, brother. Get those Popeyes. Hit them with the stranger. Get them with the Popeyes. I'm, like, shocked.

Yeah, please call us in and tell me how I'm right because you guys are crazy. What would you rather eat, 24 donuts? I'm doing 24 beers, 110%. I'm doing 24 beers, 110%. I'm going six miles because I'm a fat bitch, 12 orgasms because that's the next lowest I can do, and then 18 donuts 24 alcoholic beverages i agree with the rocks that's actually pretty standard that most people switch around one or two and that's about it i would go i'd go six jerk off 12 miles 20 or donuts, 24 beers.

Because the way I'm thinking it, the only reason I swapped them, Rooks, is because I feel like if I'm running more, I'm going to be more hungry. Maybe. That's not a bad idea. I mean, also, like, Zach's going to be starving because he's just going to be sitting there like... Burning calories. Galaxy brain over here.

Just don't get mixed up with the glazed donuts, my guy. But no, it's completely different. I've heard... I've asked this... Bert and Corey, in the one weekend, what was it? Fourth of July? How many people talked about this? There were 25.

I've pulled the audience hard on this one the girls orgasms was all 18 or 24 like all of them and they were like that's easy like that's like we could figure that out it takes so much more work like to in how we have like a fucking we have a fucking shaft we gotta work man i'm just built different i guess i guess i just had the sexual stamina of like an uncastrated bull because you guys like you guys are a bunch of babies you need to have a lot of stamina you need like 30 minutes to recharge like like you don't want you know your cool down meter is like 30 minutes i don't know like what you're what like you guys are like oh yeah i need a day to day to recharge and get... Zach, what's your one day max that you've hit?

I'll say mine. What's your one day max that you've hit? It was a rainy day. It was a rainy Tuesday in November. Remember it like it was yesterday. There's nothing going on. No details, please. I don't know.

Can you whisper this to me? I don't have an exact number, but it was probably like eight or nine. That's the thing. You'd have to double that. That's what I'm saying. That's only nine hours of me being awake. If I'm going to be awake for 24 hours,

except my little alarm, it's a little treat for when I get up. I'll be like, ooh, it's time. My max I've hit was seven my max jerk yeah i like referring to um but my max this my max was like seventh grade when i first found out what like how this works you know what i mean parents left for a day. And I was like, well, it's fucking time to do this. And then after seven, as a teen, as a very young teenage boy, after seven, I was like, why am I even here? Like, what am I?

I'm not getting anything out of this right now. I'm like looking myself in the mirror in judgment. It's a challenge. Like, I'm not going to get anything out of it, but it's a challenge. And I'm just like going for ease. That's's not the easy option man it's just not it is sorry i'm built different all right so burn i really need no no parents need to listen to this at all please yeah if my mom and dad if you listen to this i love you and i'm so sorry yeah this went off the rails a little bit

I think we have to save the news for next week because it's been a full hour already call in call in Flamesack we'll answer that and if anyone calls in we can rehash this next week I feel like can we post this

as a question on Twitter they could send us a question on Twitter? They could send us a question on Twitter. They could call in in the description of every episode. There's a link. In that link,

you can send us a voicemail. It'll tell you to sign up on something that takes two seconds. And follow us on Instagram as well. We just have that made like this week too.

Rate us five stars. Leave us a review. Zach, you have something to say? Hong Kong. Love you, bitches. See ya. See ya.