It’s Wednesday My Dudes - Ep. 34: The Soft Entry (Chinese Food Draft)

Episode Date: September 29, 2021

Zak wants to relive all his favorite Chinese food experiences by drafting both dishes from the restaurant and "experiences". The rules of this draft were vague and got us off the rails. Rate us 5 stars and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Links here to follow on Social Media! and Find Other Places to Listen!

We're virtually doing the soft entry because I dig it. I'm into that. It is not called a soft entry. That is disgusting. Hello, everyone. Please welcome to our soft entry. Please welcome to our soft entry.

I don't know why you're acting like that's a ridiculous thing. Soft entry is like a porn term, man. That's not a podcast term. Sounds like every other Friday night, baby. Landing a plane. You have a soft entry. It's a soft landing.

Yeah, it's a soft landing. You're not entering. Entry is something going into something else. Well, it's good to be back, guys. I just gotta say i mean like look there's nothing wrong with like wet noodling it and hitting that soft entry you know what i'm saying like we've all done it i'm just it's just not preferred you know

yeah yeah when rooks is gonna describe it like that i regret saying it i'll say that i mean that's what we were all thinking yeah like yeah i i mean i gathered that's what you're thinking i just feel like oh god i don't have a mind an inappropriate mind you could just get away with it that's not um since i was out last week and the week before brian i'll bring up the one comment that you had for me because I feel like it's going to stir up the boys a little bit. The boys. I've never had a McGriddle. Oh, my God.

You bitch. You're not missing much. I'm telling you right now, I don't know, after Rooks' dietary issues, that was his first description of a McGriddle. I don't know if that's really selling it for me. No, they're great. Okay, I consume them knowing the consequences.

That's how good they are, okay? Don't knock it until you try it. They're kind of a game changer. I feel like Rooks consumes a lot of things knowing the circumstances. That doesn't mean it's worth it. I'll try to think of it in terms that i can understand would i be able to do sprints after eating it since it is a fast food breakfast uh no cory doesn't understand what terms mean he doesn't know what soft entry means

doesn't know what fast food mean are you okay no i'm words i'm referencing uh so in college we did uh brian and i took jogging class no was this the walking class that okay it was jogging all right so because we took both because we didn't know how to walk or jog until our senior year of college um but we took jogging class and one of the days it was like when taco bell like just came out with their breakfast and so we were like of course loving Taco Bell we said we wanted to try it so we go to try it and like my stomach's not great in the morning with no food in my body so then having Taco Bell breakfast for the first time ever and then going to jogging class was already a risk and then we show up to jogging class and our teacher goes hey guys guess what today's the one day all semester we're gonna do sprints

inside so we did sprints end to end in the gymnasium you just after i just slammed some tea bell breakfast you just walk in and you and you hear the voiceover it's like the pacer is an automatic test designed to test you're just like no dear god no we literally did sprints like that though and i've never been able to convince cory to get taco bell breakfast ever again i thought i was gonna explode it's a real shame was it good i've never had i've never had tea bell breakfast honestly i couldn't even tell you i'd like i don't remember i just remember being in so much pain for the rest of the day i've tried so many times to get taco bell breakfast and it's never open or it's like i went to like a taco bell slash kfc

they don't have breakfast versions so i had to just leave and then like the next one i went to that same day on the way to penn state like two weeks ago i like pulled up there's one car in front of me and no one else and it took them 10 minutes to get their order and then i pulled up they're like sorry i'm the only one here it's like okay they're like give me a minute and i wait another like five minutes and then she's like all right what's your order and i was like gave her my order she's like all right like give me a minute i need to get this other guy's stuff still it's like 20 minutes later there's one car she didn't get him a single thing yet i was like just drift away wasn't worth it it was the ceo of taco bell they just uh let all the other employees have the day off yeah wait just the chihuahua in there just rolling tacos

you ordered and then just left it no so i didn't order yet she told me like hey she's like uh wait for your order and i was like okay he said nope i literally waited there for 10 minutes there's one car i've had some super long drive-through trips but it's like the second the second i order i'm officially committed i'm officially signed up for however long this process is going to be um there's one there's a burger king that it's right next to um it's right next to a retirement community so they take their sweet time with everything there's no there's no hurry at all everyone who comes through there is just you know they're just on their leisure bullshit just vibing every time i've been in that drive through there was one time i looked at time stamps because i was texting somebody in the

drive-thru i was in the drive-thru for 40 minutes and i just was i was just avidly texting somebody and not paying attention and then next thing i know i'm driving out i was like i feel like i've been here a very long time and i looked at my my first text is a person that said oh yeah i just pulled up to the burger king in leisure world and then look at our last text. It's 40 minutes later. That's when you just leave the drive-thru and go straight into the retirement community because you're now 80 years old. Just check yourself in. Honestly.

Probably should have. That's too much. All that for a terrible McGriddle. No, that was a Burger King, so it was for a WAPA. Or a croissantwich which a breakfast croissant which no this was this was a nighttime move do you just have like every fast food breakfast venue ingrained in your mind zach like what is up with you and just random food facts someone's got to have them but do they though who assigned you that job but every yeah the higher-ups uh every every

fast food place has their distinct bread item that they serve their sandwiches on taco bell tortilla uh mcdonald's mcmuffin slash pancakes uh burger king croissants wendy's i think they do like buns don't they just do like a burger bun wouldn't that just be a burger place like every other burger place oh no but for breakfast though they put their breakfast sandwiches they put their breakfast sandwiches on burger buns

they have biscuits for breakfast they put it in between two Frosties are the Frosties it's a winner are they poured out are they just oh yeah you better believe they're poured out yeah it's like a reverse ice cream sandwich where you have the ice cream on the outside you have a chicken sausage patty just right a little fucking egg patty and sausage in between two like large frosty cups just

resting in the fucking middle of them the question is though you go to vanilla or chocolate frosty on this chocolate chocolate you can't go wrong with more of a breakfast sandwich ice cream well so just your pants no matter what you eat the term breakfast sandwich ice cream is just kind of a what is it oxymoron so is the rest of the sandwich inside hot oxycontin moron that band name that sandwich the the frosty breakfast sandwich would be both a soft entry and a soft exit let me tell you oh god boys are buzzing on that note

you know what day it is it is Wednesday my dudes welcome back to another episode of it's Wednesday my dudes episode 34 we've had a weird start already so we'll see where this goes Welcome back to another episode of It's Wednesday, my dudes. Episode 34. We've had a weird start already, so we'll see where this goes. We got everybody, all four of us here. We got Corey.

It me. We got Rooks. Yo, shout out to all my homies that have attempted the soft entry, baby. What's good? And we got Zach. Go Hoosiers, baby. This week, another draft this week. little different zach will explain later um but two follow-ups from last week first off the votes are in the viewers have talked they've voiced their opinion all that you're wrong all 10 of them

83 percent of people like hoodies trash to 17 17 crew next cory what's your vote you weren't here what's your i voted on on twatter and of course i said hoodie big i'm look hey hey what do i got on right now is it big hoodie guy when are you actually putting your hood up in public like what's the point literally all the time for what reason what are you scared any anytime i walk to the gym i want to feel like i'm a professional boxer and i had like music playing and i'm in the stadium so i put the hood up um probably put on some uh eminem just you know i'm like i got i got my shit going on what eminem song is that sounded like an old timey jingle they're like hello boy

it's like the shit from eight mile lose yourself jesus it it escaped me i tried my best uh yeah used to walk around with the hood on all the time around campus super uh anti-social when walking come on you don't want to get stopped and then just like yeah, used to walk around with the hood on all the time around campus. Super antisocial when walking. Come on, you don't want to get stopped and then just like have a conversation for 20 minutes for no reason. So the one thing I will remember speaking of hoodies in college, for whatever reason, I had some sort of complex that I wouldn't buy any rain gear. So no rain jacket or anything. I decided that I'm too strong for the rain. And I would just decide to wear my cotton hoodie and just jeans and be like it's pouring outside i need to walk to class no

umbrella no anything i'm just gonna walk to class and just get to the my classroom absolutely soaked i don't know what type of i don't know if i'm the only one who experienced that but it's like a weird yeah i don't know why i have this thing like i'm tougher than the rain like i can't what could be a rain jacket or umbrella. I look like an idiot. What kind of rom-com life are you living that you just want to be sitting in the pouring rain just soaked head to toe?

My goal is, I was like, maybe some nice lady will invite me under her umbrella. Never happened. Not once. Gotta set up that meet-cute, man. Fucking tall ass. We're gonna do it the other way around though what girl would want you under their umbrella dude they're gonna have to fucking stretch their arm all the way up your fucking i would hold the umbrella obviously though she might get a little

sounds like you have a vendetta again sounds like you have a vendetta against items that protect you against rain so i don't know if you would hold the umbrella yeah that's true i don't know what the reason was also when did rain boots become a thing where girls wear them when you're like from the ages of zero to five don't wear them after that and then in college you wear them why is that a fashion item no like rain boots there was that one year i think it was either junior year or sophomore year every girl had the same pair of rain boots or like black with that red like square on the front of them whatever the brand is also they were like way too big like they had such a giant gap so it's like the rain's getting in your

boot and you're just swimming like your feet are just drowning in rain anyway yeah you look like a radioactive waste worker because you just have like this giant thing up to your knee. They have a part-time job at Chernobyl. Yeah, don't have to pay any taxes in Russia. Huge commute. All right, I'll accept the L, even though you're wrong. All right. Yeah, hold that shit, bitch.

The other recap was the McGriddle thing, so we already covered that so I like only one recap McGriddle only cause I just only cause I discovered this today

I'm curious I have a new favorite fast food fry and I didn't think I would find it at however old I am 27

and um I'm curious what your favorite fries fast food fry place is and I'll show you mine the fries, fast food fry places. And I'll show you mine. The one that like trickled into my day to day. Okay. Pick someone to go first.

Do a little popcorn, Corey. We'll do teeny meat, Rooks. I probably have to say, man, I fucking love Popeye's fries. Popeye's fries. Slice so hard. Yeah, they're they got that little crunchy texture on the outside. It's nice and soft on the end, like a croissant.

It's beautiful. They're actually fucking delicious. And like every time you order a side of fries from Popeye's, they give you the Five Guys treatment where it's just in a bag by itself and it's its own bag of fries. Like, it's beautiful. It's between that and the waffle fry, but I went Popeye's. B-guy. No one ever talks about it. Arby's.

Fuck you, dude. God damn it. Incredible. No, they're great, but that means you have to eat at Arby's, bro. You can only eat at Arby's just for the fries. I don't want a casual roast beef in the middle of my day, man. I can't do it. You don't want a casual beefy ched with a little horsey sauce on it, bro?

No. Fuck no. Pair that casual roast beef with a little horsey sauce on it, bro? No. Fuck no. Hey, man. Pair that casual roast beef with a soft entry. That's a day. Zach, yours was Arby's? Yeah. Know what I will take? Second place is the fries at the bottom of the McDonald's bag that fall out.

Those usually hit a little different. So I'm going to go with those. Fair enough. Have you guys ever had have you ever had kfc's fries no i don't know i don't know the last time i consumed kfc i genuinely don't know i feel like we've talked about people sleep on kfc man i've had it twice in the last week and it's okay i feel you okay i ain't got no time to cook food this week man but i uh they like cook it in i what i assume is like the seasoning that they have for their like chicken and it is as rooks would say i imagine it's probably similar to Popeyes, but... The Colonel cooking up stuff nice lately.

Ew. Alright. I had to say it. Never mind. I'm eating one yeast fries. Oh. I think we need to just mention the big game coming up on Saturday night.

The Hoosiers versus... IU hate week. The Nitty Cats. The Nittany Cats, I should say. Not the Nitty Cats. I'm excited. It should be fun. A little 7.30. Primetime back-to-back for you guys, right? Or no. Yeah. Right?

No. Auburn was two weeks ago. My bad. We have Villanova in between Cupcake Games to warm up. What's the spread? I'm saying back-to-back for you guys, right? Or no, yeah, right? No. Oh, no, Auburn was two weeks ago. My bad. Yeah. We have Villanova in between Cupcake Games to warm up. What's the spread? I haven't checked. You guys checked yet? I have not checked. So while I talk about it, you look it up.

Nets by a million. 35 plus. Come on. That's 12 and a half? Pound the Hoosiers, brother. Are you kidding me? No. Night game at Beaver Stadium? It ain't a whiteout, though. Phoenix is not ready. pound the Hoosiers brother are you kidding me no night game

at Beaver Stadium it ain't a whiteout though Phoenix is not ready it's a stripe out the fuck I don't know do not knock the stripe out the stripe out is tough

what's a stripe out Nittany Lions don't have stripes section wears a different color the uniform no the no just the actual lion doesn't have stripes. The uniform? No, just the actual lion doesn't have stripes. You're not the Tigers. So?

Why would you stripe the stadium if your mascot doesn't have stripes? Asshole, because we're blue and white. Nittany Lions, we do a whiteout, Nittany Lions aren't white either. The same reason every single girl at IU wears those freaking overalls that are

candy cane striped. No, it's just candy striped, brother. Not cane. Candy striped. I mean, they look like a candy cane. I stand by it. I stand with Corey. No, so should we do a little wager boy?

Should we try to think of something say it's gonna win that's not a that's not you're not on the next episode well seeing as i had to send you a cake last year can we just do another cake do i have to send all three of you a cake though yep that's the rules all right i get the i get the points then if i had to send all three of you a cake I get the points what like I get the points for your grocery store

I get so I the spread is 12 and a half so if IU has to lose if IU loses and they lose by less than 12 and a half I still win so you're saying you get the spread correct I get the points is what I'm saying.

Spread. That's another term for it. Yes. Yes. We're talking semantics. Because if I'm going to send you three cakes, I need a little extra love here. Can I request a cookie cake? Yeah.

That shit's like $10. Sure. I'm happy. I don't need any cake in my life. I got too much already on me, so I'm'm happy I don't need any cake in my life I got too much already on me so I'm good I don't need a cake I'm just gonna send you more dominoes Rooks no I don't need that either man

can we change it to dominoes yeah I'll send you dominoes oh god I still want a cookie cake we'll talk about these details later we'll split it. But anyway, go Hoosiers. We're 2-2.

Should be ranked because we lost to top 10. Five teams? Or no, 10 teams. Cincinnati and Iowa. Cincinnati's not top five. Okay, they're top 10. They're 8, 7, or 8. So I feel like we should...

My argument was that Wisconsin also lost to you guys at the time a ranked team and they still got ranked the second week so no idea why we weren't ranked um but we will be after we beat number four so it'll be great can i just say this too wisconsin sucks man oh my gosh they got their booty stomped by the fighting irish oh my god what an embarrassment it wasn't so it was within like three points until like the fourth quarter though yeah so the score at the end is not as indicative as how it actually went. I think I saw it. Well, I mean the final, the final was 48, 13. Like that's, you can't say,

Oh, it was close. Oh, I know it was, I know, but like it's closer than it looks. Cause that looks like they did. Absolutely.

It was 48, 13 and Wisconsin, 41, 13 them and out gained them in yards. Wisconsin had more yards than Notre Dame and they lost 41, 13. That's wild. Goodness. See, that tells more of a story.

So anyway, it should be fun this weekend, boys. I'll be actually at IU, even though it's at Penn State. Going to visit my sister down on campus. I'll be providing some of the positive mojo, live from Kilroy's probably. It should be a good time. At least we'll have a lot of

good stuff to say next Tuesday yeah I will be insufferable if IU wins really happy people or three really sad people yeah

might have to cancel next week never forget the Phoenix stretch it's gonna haunt your dreams man that wasn't even a whole phoenix stretch man that was a soft entry but i was rock hard after it brother let me tell you okay all right let's go uh weekly recap rooks how was your weekend it was good make it quick nothing too too much just went to um went to some bar in dc yeah concert wednesday was pretty dope the place is it was like i've been there i've talked about

the podcast before flash and like i've been on the rooftop but everyone talks about the inside area being cooler and it's it's like night clubby but the production value inside is insane like there's lights on all walls behind the dj there's all the old school like flashers that go on cameras and those are the lights that like pop off during the set it was it was a really cool vibe i i thoroughly enjoyed it really put me in the hole thursday and friday i got zero work done just debate like just looking at my life choices and just that was not happy with myself but went back out saturday night had a good time the usual spiel you know just drinking drinking hanging out had a good time and uh and then yeah now i think it's because i went out on a wednesday

and saturday my you can probably hear my voice i'm fighting off some sickness right now hopefully it's not the coco but we'll see but well well isn't the consequences to my own actions you know it is what it is man um it is what it is yeah i'm your boys vax you know if i got it i got it um but i give it i'll give it um i'll give it one man just one raspy voice raspy voice typically means you've been yelling have a good time but. But in this case, like, no, not really. But it's cool. Okay. Sounds very average. Anyways, Zach, how was your week?

Weekend was good. Golf scene Saturday morning, which is electric. I'm convinced the first tee box, when you have people behind you watching, is the most terrifying thing you'll ever do. It's impossible to hit. It's so impossible. We were at probably the worst golf course in suburban Chicago. And the dew was on the grass.

It was a little damp out. I guess my cleats weren't high enough or whatever. So I to the first tee box and i just swing the drive and my left leg like slips out from under me and i just almost like a full header into the ground and i'm like well this is how it's gonna go um i ended up not being that terrible but we're okay we live to find another day uh came back went to i went to a concert as well. It was a country concert. Ko Wetzel. He's pretty good.

I enjoyed it. It was fun. I just got back-to-back weeks, man, just blacking out. It's just been tough. Like waking up Sunday, I've gotten four hours of sleep, probably combined over the past two Sundays. And then I just feel awful. It takes me four hours.

I don't fully feel well, probably till the end of the first NFL games, like the first slate. I'm like, okay, I can feel somewhat normal. I ordered, you guys know Annie's mac and cheese? Like the box mac and cheese? Yeah. It's the bunny, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Costco was doing a nice little dealio bought 15 boxes of those from costco uh it was and it's kind of i forget them all sunday i forgot how small um the boxes are so i made two of them just to to satisfy me um so yeah i ate mac and cheese on sunday um so i'm gonna give it um I also had a little Chinese food as well, which we'll get to later. So I will give it, I'll give it,

I'll give it two little Annie's bunnies out of, I don't know, seven. I would have expected you to say 15 since you got 15, but. Hey, two out of seven. Great weekend. Great weekend. I would have expected you to say 15 since you got 15. Hey, two out of seven. Great weekend. Great weekend.

So far, not great. All right, Corey, bring us up. So this weekend, well, so two weekends ago, Penn State Whiteout. It's been a minute, guys. That was fun. I had a cold. Offic cold officially it was a cold it took three covid tests just to prove that it was in fact a cold uh and then renovating the bathroom so i still don't have a shower and have it for the last week which has been just phenomenal ew wait. So what are you doing?

I drive. Well, so, okay, so we tore it out Tuesday last week, and then we went one day without it and then showered the next day at Claire's place and then showered the next day at Brian's place and then was in a B&B this weekend with our old Toon Squad down at State College watching a nice little Villanova game and drank in.

Had a hearty tailgate, nice little morning guy. Had some Jersey Bagels. Shout out because I'd get yelled at if I didn't. And played some games reminisced had a great time went to the first saw some live music uh honestly solid week solid week yeah i would say hmm i'll rank it three stars and stripes shots out of five. Ooh. Three out of five. Okay.

We're coming back up. We're getting a little bit better on the weekends. Raise the bar, baby. B-guy. We left out so many details from our tailgate, but before that, this week, needed a new background show, scrolling through Netflix.

Friday Night Lights is there. I'm like, I've seen it once, but it's like five years ago man this show's still good wait the whole show's on netflix first yeah oh fuck yeah thank you yeah you gotta get back in dude first season they really try to like emulate the movie and it's the whole it's the same band that the whole soundtrack from the movie so the like first episode starts and it's just here the notes i played this song before every like football game in high school so i'm very like nostalgic to that music so oh it's such a good show everyone go re-watch it again movie way better but yes oh a thousand percent for sure the movie is like actual football movie the show is like a cw drama with a little bit of football on the outside of it but for the tailgate

woke up like bright and early like 6 a.m because it's a noon game so we have to like get out there early actually get our crap going rising so we're moving crap exactly we're moving crap to the car i'm half awake walk out the front door Forget there's a step there. Immediately roll my left ankle, fall straight on my face. But I saved the Cheetos though, so we're good. Cheetos pops. It matters. Yes. Right knee immediately bleeding. 6.15 in the morning. Bad start to the day. Then get everyone in the car, get out to the tailgate fields. Start pulling out all the bagels like Corey mentioned and eggs. Just like start making some sandwiches. I forgot about this. Realized we left literally everything else in the fridge.

We had like all the toppings for like breakfast sandwiches, like cheese and bacon and sausage and literally anything else. All we had was eggs and bagels. And that's it. So I immediately left all the food. I'm already bleeding. We go to the game at like 11. We're walking through the IM fields.

It's like big and empty because it's like, it's Villanova, so there's not a lot of people there. And there's a big empty space, and Kelly's like, man, I just want to run through these fields, like do a cartwheel. I'm like, go do it. She runs great form all the way over, splits her pants right down the middle when she's in the front of it. And it's on the front part, right where the crotch comes through, and it's ginormous. It was so bad.

And she had to do it. Brooks was in there that weekend. Usually rips some pairs of pants. Been known for it. One pairs of pants. One pairs. Thank you very much. Is that a common problem?

I feel like I've heard more pants splitting story like should i be more concerned about splitting my pants big pants don't want you to know that they're really like reducing the quality right that's what i'm worried about like like it's it's just another thing for me to worry about and get my anxiety up but i'll worry about it if i have to i'll always walk they got the stretchy jeans now stretchy jeans all the way you're good ever since his pen office just all my pants have gone downhill the ones i ripped were like nice suit pants but they were like the slim cuts and then suit pants the ones i got weren't really uh weren't very flexible and your boy was uh bending it over and breaking it down so it kind

of depends on how much you're testing the material and what kind of material it is yeah i think they're just getting after it a little bit way too hard so don't do a cartwheel and like tight jeans and don't wear tight dress pants to a wedding and like drop it when you're rooks's size and you're wearing slim jeans facts pants but it was hilarious it was great made it to the game uh before that had a 10 v 10 flip cup like all the tables in a row classic penn state experience that was awesome um and ended the night with cinnamon rolls while sitting in a hot tub so it was a great weekend with a chance of meatballs too exactly get an airbnb with a hot tub tip to everyone out there uh my rating on a scale of tap water to chlorine it's bruming sorry all right so draft this week. We mentioned earlier Chinese food.

Zach, explain what we're doing. We're drafting Chinese food, man. Who doesn't love Chinese food? Corey, you love Chinese food, right? Tell me how much you love Chinese food. Ever since sophomore year when I had orange chicken from Panda Express, the most authentic of the Chinese food places. The most authent the Chinese food places.

The most authentical Chinese food. Did you swerve to Italian? Did you just swerve? What the fuck was that? Hey, we're going to go to Panda. What were you going for? I don't know. That was a lot of accents. First pick, I'm going with Stromboli the chinese stromboli no but i mean i i had this like again i got chinese food on

uh sunday after being severely hung over and i thought to myself there's a lot of options for fried rice then i thought to think what's the best kind of fried rice and i thought to myself, there's a lot of options for fried rice. And I thought to think, what's the best kind of fried rice? And I thought to think, I feel like everyone has a specific Chinese order that they're go to. So I wanted to dive a little deeper into the boy's brains about what they think about Chinese food. But with that, I want to open it up to not just food, but if want to pick like an aspect of the chinese food experience i feel like going to a chinese restaurant or ordering takeout from a chinese food restaurant has its own like little uh it's like an aura like its own little thing about it that just makes it special and so i think there's a lot of unique things that happen when you go to a chinese restaurant that don't happen in other places so board's wide open pick whatever you want would you like me to do the draft order yeah yes but also follow-up question yeah is it

two experiences two foods and then one anything no it's it's i think just whatever you want anything five anythings all right i'm just gonna draft five waiters in a row and call it a day. I'm going to be dog shit. What does that mean? Complete dog shit. Burn, do you know specific Chinese food waiters you're trying to draft right now? Kevin. Tina. Sam.

Chuck. And Lee. Come on. Oh. No, no, no, no, no. Okay, here we go. You ready? Carter.

We got Corey, Rooks, Zach, Brian. Let's go. Oh, crap. All right. Corey, that lead off here, baby. Oh, also, before we start, quick shout out of everyone's go-to Chinese food place. Corey, go first.

Or like your favorite Chinese foods that you've ever had. Literally the only one that comes to mind is Uncle Chen's at State College because that's where I probably sent the most money to a Chinese food place was then. Go shout out Uncle Chen's. Brian? Just any generic hibachi place. We went there for our birthday. It's me and three other siblings. Also not Chinese. My God. Hibachi place we went there for our birthday i have me and it's me and three

other siblings also not chinese my god hibachi's japanese very japanese guys oh my god i was prepared on my line i'm with you go off the list i'm with you uh chinese food i don't know i literally have no clue my favorite chinese food is not chinese food it's the best my favorite chinese food is olive garden because of the breadsticks that you get strike it off the record all right i'm a classic panda boy oh baby that panda express be shalapin oh my god i love that shit i spent i didn't know um so freshman year i had meal points i didn't realize how expensive it was to buy in in regards to my meal plan how expensive it was to use my meal points to buy panda so first half of the

first semester i was just ripping panda express i was like this is great this is meal points this isn't even real money like this is monopoly money at this point this isn't real and then i got halfway through and my mom had looked at my my fucking points balance it was just like what the fuck are you eating you have no points left and there's like six weeks left in the semester and then i had to bump the plan up to the thick boy plan and then not get panda express anymore wait super random so we were in line for the first you can use but it's it's it's something new they don't call it lion cash anymore but it's the new whatever lion cash you can use that for cover now because we were in line in the bouncer

the could you imagine could you imagine how quick that would run out the bouncer was like yeah like make sure you have your cash out or why in whatever and we were like what like that's a thing that's usually yeah incredible fucking unreal uh i just want to say a quick google search there is hibachi Chinese restaurants. But that's not what you're talking about. I know. It's not what you're talking about. He was specifically saying the Chinese hibachi.

I got you. Hibachi is just a style of cooking. Come on. Go fuck yourself. I said don't go off the list of questions. All right. Hold on. Quick shout out to Dai Yi's Asian Kitchen.

Shout out. Shout out. Best Chinese food in Chicago. Sponsor us. All right. I'm drafting Dai Yi first overall. He has a great 40 time. And by 40, I mean 40 dumplings.

I think it's a woman, but that's okay. You don't know that. No, I think I's a woman but that's okay uh you don't know that no all right the pick is a different dialect uh thank you as somebody who did not like chinese food until sophomore year of college uh and i still don't really get it that often but i do like it uh i'm going general so's come on it's like the it's the go-to. When you don't know Chinese food, you get it. As somebody who still has yet to explore every piece of Chinese food menu,

I have to. If you're going to be the first pick, I'm going to go with the obvious. Yeah. It's like the starter. It's like the starter pack. It's like, I've never had Chinese food. What's the starter pack? And they say, you want General Tso's. Exactly. How does everyone pronounce it? say you want General Tso's. Exactly. How does everyone pronounce it?

I always say General T's. I say General T's. Yeah. I just say, give me a G and T and then it's either 55th they get a gin and tonic or General Tso's chicken and I'm happy either way. My family always said General Tso's and we i know that's definitely not right

but i feel like a lot of people will say it like that my family says i was too so shout out east greenbush new york it's not like spelled that way so i don't know why if that's the wrong pronunciation why why that stuck. It's actually to sauce. Just go Jenny T shortened to genitals and we're good to go. So I'll have some genitals, please. Some genital so's Jesus. First overall pick. I'm picking genitals.

What I, what I will say though, is the, is sometimes, and, and this is not just a general so's thing but any fried meat that comes in a sauce the vegetables with it are either great or terrible they're either completely raw it is i put them i put them off to the side i'm not getting chinese veggies but if they're cooked well like shout out to ie cooking them i'll have the broccoli and the pea pods on the side they're delicious delicious. But some places are just like, nah, you get a raw green pepper and you're going to like it. Yeah.

Would you say they cook them in a pot like gumbo though? Oh, chef Curry with a pot boy. When, when I made my list for this draft, I made a list of bad things for the end. And the broccoli is on that list because it's, it's never cooked.

It's just like rock hard for some reason in the corner and i don't know who's eating that but it's on my rock hard in the corner that's abandoning and a violation oh god okay okay i'm gonna go with my brooks you know i i have some experiences that i want but i don't think anyone's gonna take them so i'm gonna i'm gonna get i'm just gonna lock something up i already mentioned it cory already mentioned it i am getting panda express specific orange chicken orange chicken from panda is the same as general like Like it just doesn't miss. It doesn't matter what Panda you go to. It doesn't matter what person's standing behind the glass. They're going to whip that shit up and it's going to taste delicious.

Is it real authentic Chinese food? Fuck no. There's so many videos of people on YouTube. Like my, my, my parents from China, try Panda express items. And every time they're like this is shit you know what

i'm not from china that shit is fucking fire i enjoy it very much and it does not breaking news i am not chinese beef but i am going with the panda uh panda specific orange chicken also orange chicken if you get it from certain places like i know this is why it tastes like a candle chicken where they put where they zest orange on it and shouldn't have orange peel in the sauce it's just they put like an actual orange in it yeah which is a rock hard orange sitting in the corner like i know that's why it's called the orange if there's a peel in there well it's like it's not but it's like a little sliver you know it's like tiny little like

dashings of it sprinkled in the sauce i like what do you want me to do sift that shit out like i don't have time for that brooks puts it in his mouth like he's at halftime from soccer but yeah i'm going panda expresses because that shit busts in and it always slaps and i just i need to get it off the board i need my guy all right all right so i think i feel like i can't not take this based on a prior story from me. I'm going with crab rangoon. Yes. Because we got to goon it up, baby. We got to goon it up.

The single best appetizer at any Chinese food place. It's kind of like pizza. Even when it's bad, it's good because there's three ingredients. It's cream cheese, imitation crab, and wonton wrappers. It's goon, it's goon goon it's goon and it's goon it's goon goon goon goon it up baby um the only uh so i mean i love it with the hot mustard or the sweet and sour sauce um what yeah like the little pack come with mustard packets they give you when you order takeout they have the um soy sauce packets the hot mustard packets and the

sweet and sour packets. No, no, no. You're thinking of a hot dog. Oh, you're right. You're right. You're right. It's a hot dog at the east. You got to dip your crab rangoons in relish, and it's delicious. Oh, God.

But no, when you think about what a crab rangoon is, it is objectively disgusting. It is. And it's not chinese in the slightest i don't know who came up with it they're like yeah cream cheese imitation crab and the only thing chinese is really the wonton wrappers but other than that it's really nothing uh you know related to i feel like china at all um the only problem is if you eat too many you get goon gut which is where you're just bloated all the time it just sits like a like a nice little baby um but yeah i can i can power down and i think the shapes are super interesting because you can get either the the nice flower where it has like the four corners you know those

things you do in you know grade school where it was like pick a number and you go one two three four and then you pull the piece of paper out it's they're folded like that or they're folded in triangles which i prefer because those are easier to eat. The other ones cut your mouth open. Like razor blades. But I power through. It's the Captain Crunch

of Asian food. Agreed. So Crab Rangoon's off the board on brand for your boy. Not shocked. Not shocked. i'm happy it's gone though all right bro i got with this back to back so which waiter which waiter waitress

it's the first choice whoever's gonna slip me a little extra fortune cookie at the end is that chavities or chinese is that both that's chinese that's chinese okay all right i'm back on board i'm on the board i didn't have on my list so i i got worried uh i'm just gonna go generic fried rice nothing specific because you put whatever the hell you also want on it anything fried rice also i googled it it's apparently originated in indonesia so i don't know why this counts as chinese food draft but no it counts it counts i thought zach would be a lot more pissed off considering he wanted to do a fried rice draft instead of a chinese food draft but so

you're saying you like fried rice like no not egg fried rice not vegetarian not veggie fried rice i'm saying any no you can't pick any you have to pick your fried rice, not vegetarian, not veggie fried rice. I'm saying any. No, you can't pick any. You have to pick your fried rice, my guy. You said anything goes. I'm picking the category of fried rice. You can't pick a category of fried rice. I think it's a fair choice.

Also, you can just get plain fried rice and then just put whatever else on it. Whenever you get an entree, you can get General Tso's chicken with fried rice and then just put whatever else on like whenever you get an entree it's like you can get general sauce chicken with fried rice on the side and it's just regular fried rice but then they throw the chicken on top well no but that's but there's a thing way to do it there's a thing called chicken fried rice where they mix it all right that's fine you can take fried rice you need all the help you can get in this draft so i'll let you just get him back and draft his next waiter he wanted. That's right. Yeah. Oh, Jeff? Yeah, he's great.

Okay. So fried rice is off the board. You can still draft specific fried rice. I'll give you guys that. You're going to hate this one too. I'm going to draft the category. Okay, here we go. I'm going to the category just appetizers.

No, you can't. No, you can't. Whoa. Okay, now that's not. We're not allowing that. That's a test of my level. No, we're not allowing that one. I don't care. No. Vito, no. just appetizers no you can't no whenever i go to a chinese restaurant pick another one all right let me let me talk i just get like eight appetizers because like the entree is just like a lot of fried rice and a side of chicken. And then like those horrible vegetables we were talking about. Or you can get like an appetizer version of fried rice, an appetizer like pork roll, an appetizer dumpling, some crab rancune, and some chicken all for the same price. Just like smaller little tiny portions.

So you're drafting a portion size? No, I'm drafting that the appetizers are better than the entree this is bullshit you're single-handedly killing this draft brian you cannot open it up to experiences that's not an experience that's a category you know what i will let you draft i'll let's i'll help you out here here no hold on let me help him out here for a sec you can draft the poopoo platter which is the chinese version of the sampler platter which has all the appetizers on it that's what you can draft i ain't i'm not touching poopoo rooks you have a question can we i'll accept if his answer is the experience of eating only appetizers for dinner therefore it's not

getting rid of those specific appetizers from the board yeah Yeah, I'm not saying you can't draft them. I'm saying, yes. The experience of just ordering. Okay, that's fine. Yeah, I'll take all chicken dishes, please. That's not how this works. So just say appetizers for dinner is what you're drafting. Okay.

That works. Just say that in the beginning, then, so we don't yell at you. Yeah, we have to round table that answer. You literally opened up and you're just like, appetizers. Like, what are you talking about? Don't say experiences and then not give us any other rules. Well, appetizers aren't appetizers for dinner and experience. Appetizers, the next thing.

Food item. Next thing I'm going to draft is just the taste because that's an experience. And that's broad enough, okay? All right. right so be ready for it you better get back up next oh man all right um back to me right yes you have crab rangoons i have crab rangoons i kind of want oh i think i think i'm gonna do it i think rooks is gonna be mad at me i'm gonna go with bow i'm gonna draft bow oh no you're I'm going to do it. I think Rooks is going to be mad at me. I'm going to go with Bao. I'm going to draft Bao. Oh, no, you're fine.

Okay, good. It's like the buns. It's like the pork buns. It's so good. Yeah. Also, I don't think it's Chinese. It is. No, I looked it up.

It is Chinese. Very much Chinese. 100% Chinese. I thought it was like Vietnamese. It's Baozi or Bao is a type of yeast yeast leavened filled bun in various chinese cuisines nice i'm sure they have it in different other asian cultures but again i am not i am no expert on any of this shit i just that's what panda express doesn't have it it doesn't count yeah bao i really i know i'm going a little uh appetizer heavy in the beginning but

bao is just delicious. I mean, why would you? I know. Shut up, Brian. But Bao is delicious. You can get it stuffed with so many different things. They usually have a barbecue beef, pork, like a garlic chicken. It's just a nice little pocket of goodness.

It's portable. You can carry them around. And they're super filling too. So portable you can carry them around and they're super filling too so you can have one or two and they're delicious and i'm gonna pass over my guy rooks the bow king of chicago i would just i would just like to say if you're ever at a music festival and you're there for multiple days and you need something that fills you up but it's also kind of light bow is the way to go okay it's not super expensive like zach said super portable you got your little lunchable bow next to you you just plop two of them suckers in

filling fluffy delicious and then you're not going to be pooping your pants i for the first time at a music festival did not poop while in the festival and you know what i have to thanks for that my man's bow dude bow had my back for four days i recommend so proud of you thank you shout out bow not only delicious food but saving lives out here exactly all right rooksy boy all right i'm picking an experience for this one there are a few things that hit more different than a post chinese food nap man oh yeah what's that old folks what's that old uh like folk story where the dude just sleeps under the tree for fucking years bro you know what i'm talking about oh rumple still skin yeah rumple still skin bro

johnny applesleeve every single time i eat chinese food if your boy gets horizontal or even relatively close to horizontal you know maybe my body's at an obtuse angle or something i am out like a light and there is no fucking budging me awake like there's no shot i'm waking up i am out like a fucking light and that has to do with the chinese food it is people people take melatonin you know some people we got noisemakers you eat chinese food i promise you will fall asleep i fucking promise you will knock the fuck out all right i was really chicken by his bed before bed just pops a few of them i was really nervous about this draft because i wasn't that big on chinese food but it's the

second round and we already have we have somebody has taken just the category of appetizers, and then another person literally just took napping. So I don't understand, but I'm feeling a lot better. It's part of the experience. Wait till you hear one of my other answers. But yeah, I'm picking with my second pick the post-Chinese food nap. It hits different. And now I think we're on to... Corey guy.

It's insane to me that we just had a whole blow up about appetizers and we're not even... Nobody's... Okay, nobody's going to mention a nap. There's no argument. I wasn't mad about my pick. Anything goes. Hey, do you?

I get it. It's fine. Pick a Japanese food now. Just really make zach mad yeah for my chinese food draft i'm gonna pick uh the category of japanese food um all right so my second i'm gonna pick chopsticks oh nice fancy song or the utensil somebody google is it from china also are you using the chopsticks that are separated the one that have the little attachment at the top where you don't have to actually balance them on your hands no the one that's attached because i like to rip it oh that's how strong do you feel i feel

like fancy one and then you do you do you i don't even know what the reason of this is, but you gotta rub them against each other. Get the spoilers off. There you go, boom. Yeah. Could've figured it out, maybe. But yeah, chopsticks, come on. It's like, as a kid when you had it, that's what you're most excited for.

Or at least me, who didn't like Chinese food, was most excited to play around with chopsticks. Because I was a little idiot. Could you use chopsticks when you're a little like, cause you like, not properly, but like, I still had fun.

I still not use chopsticks. I can use them now. I don't have the, the, like the hand eye coordination. Yeah, but I'm not going to lie. Burn.

You're not being able to use chopsticks. It's the least surprising thing I've ever heard. I'm picturing him trying to use them and he's surprising thing I've ever heard on this fucking podcast. I'm picturing him trying to use them and he's just like snapping his finger and it's flying in his eye. I need like the big like extra large orthopedic versions of them like they have for like pens. Like sewing needles? Yeah. God.

No, it's good. Chopsticks is a power move. You can use them. It's a way to establish dominance. That's good. Chopsticks is a power move. You can use them. It's a way to establish dominance. That's true. Yeah, you make other people really nervous who are Chinese food noobs. Agreed. Like, oh, you're using a fork?

Wow. What a freaking idiot. Exactly. And then I'm going to stick with utensils and that category. I'm going to shout outire bear because she came up with this one and it was a good reason i liked it oh i know where you're going i think the rice box oh the box that the rice comes in because you can flatten it into a plate and it's also adorable it's like a little it's like a little delivery box i I think if I were running UPS, I would offer that as a type of box to send in the mail because that's just fun.

And it's like economical. It's very small. I think it works. It's like packing peanuts too. It will protect it. Are you saying packing penis? Yeah, penis. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. It's like that i don't know i'd argue too it's the most um well does like we talk about the design but it also keeps the food warm it's like the most like a pizza box might be second but i feel like the chinese food is just because it stacks so nicely in the bag it's not nothing's flopping around in there you're not losing anything it's all nicely i'm going i'm going for recognizable in the Chinese food category. And if you look at chopsticks in a box of rice, you know exactly what type of food you're having. I mean, you get appetizers.

Good luck. I mean, if you're looking at a guy napping, who knows what food you have? I mean, right now, me, Brian and Rooks have no way of eating our food. We are just hands in there grabbing it and hoping for the best. Are we supposed to be able to combine all five of ours into a meal? I mean, I'm just saying, Corey's got the best chance of eating right now

if we were to do that. Like, eating like a normal person. I mean, the reason I chose appetizers, I can't use chopsticks. Again, you didn't choose appetizers. You chose appetizers for dinner. You did not choose all of the appetizers. But like, so you don't use't choose appetizers. You chose appetizers for dinner. You did not choose all of the appetizers. So you don't use chopsticks for appetizers.

You use your little fingers. You just pick them up. It's a good call. All right, Rooks, you're next. What's up? Oh, shit. It's my pick. I was going to go experience, but there's no way anybody picks this experience.

I just think there's no possible shot. So I'm going to go back down food lane and hey we all remember our first you know and the first chinese food i ever had was kung pao chicken your boy used to be the pickiest eater when he was little i did not like i did i was i was a bread and in shmeet kind of guy okay that's it i'm having chicky nuggies i'm having rolls like i'm not eating anything that's that has like substance to it my parents came home one day they were like try this this. It's good. Have a little bite of the Kung Pao chicken. That thing was bussin'. It was so good. I felt great after.

I was just, especially with, I had a very virgin palate at the time. And, man, that thing taught me some things. You know what I'm saying? It gave me some flavor profiles that I didn't know existed. I picking kung pao chicken always gonna love that shit and it's always gonna have a special place down in my heart you like the uh the peanuts in there um i did it when i was younger but now i fuck with them more okay more into penis now got it yeah yeah i like it's like it's tomato tomato you know dealer's choice he likes the penis right uh zach that's right go hoosiers baby that's a good pick good pick it's a staple it's you can get it spicy too do you ever play with

the spice the little red pepper meters where they like do you want one chili pepper two chili peppers three chili peppers you ever play with that i've got so like the place that i used to get it from just has the chili peppers and it's like a bunch so it's kind of sometimes you get a little surprised you know because it's just under the chicken you take a bite and you're like oh my god what the fuck but um i used i haven't had it in a while just because there's one place that's near my parents house that specifically makes it the way I like it. And I like, that was where I did all my experimentation. You know, you learn a lot in the beginning of the journey, you know?

I don't like, I don't like that phrase. The phrasing of this is strange. You're finding yourself through Chinese. Yeah. Hey, they don't call me Korean beef or nothing. Who's got next? All right. I'm going next.

I'm going to go with, so I need another food. I'm going to actually get a main dish this time. Got two appetizers. Feel good about that. Going to pick Mongolian beef. Okay. I was worried you were picking all main dishes. Okay, got it. Yeah, no, no um no i'm going with mongolian beef um i feel uh when it comes to beef dishes at chinese

food places mongolia that's not chinese so i agree but it's on every chinese food menu is a staple so i'm gonna that's like appropriation of their culture man you can't that you 2021 all right brian i'm not coming to you for the differentiation on the main dishes you asshole yeah i can't wait for you to pick it was not on my list you caught me off guard and i messed up i can't wait for you to pick don't not can't wait for you to pick sushi um waiting for brian to pick sushi. Waiting for Brian to pick making a reservation as part of his experience. Bailing on

dinner plans. Is that my next one? Yeah, no. Mongolian beef. I feel like it's good. Got a little spicy kick. I think it's the best beef item at a Chinese food place. I think where Chinese food places lack is there, is there beef dishes.

And I think Mongolian beef is the safest option. Usually pretty consistent. Enjoy the kind of teriyaki sauce on it. We'll green onions with it to put it over just some steamed white rice and you go to town. It's a little salty, a lot of MSG, but what's Chinese food without MSG.

So yeah, pretty safe pick, pretty standard shout out mongolian beef good pick you know can't do only appetizers because that's my thing so i'm gonna draft another appetizer so but but did you already drafted appetizer i drafted the experience of having appetizers eating appetizers now i'm getting the ash yeah i pick it up what you're putting down yeah yeah yeah uh i'm gonna go with

foods ending in the word rolls so spring rolls egg rolls just kind of throw everywhere okay now you're picking a fucking category of multiple things it's not an experience it's not an experience no but it's eating rolls what is wrong with you god damn it you fucker i'm i'm starting to think brian only heard zach say there's no rules, and he doesn't even know what we're drafting right now. Nah, give me all the rules. Give me more than two rules. The best thing at any restaurant is the rules,

not just Chinese food restaurants. Except they're endless. Yeah, you go to a steakhouse. They have rules. They just bring them out to you. You go to a Chinese restaurant, though, they have rules. You got to like a steakhouse. They have rules. They just bring them out to you. You go to a Chinese restaurant

though. They have rules. You got to buy them though. They're not free because they're better. You got some

spring rolls. You got some egg rolls. You can combine a spring and an egg roll. You can't name three rolls.

You can name two. There's different versions. Those are subcategories. Under those you can put whatever you want inside.

So. Rolls. Off the board darn so that's a food slash experience that uh really I knew you guys were just gonna be gunning for I'm gonna do another experience you won't hate this one doubt it I'm gonna go buffet oh just that's a good answer that you can eat a good answer whatever you want that's way better than your other fucking answers for the most part i should go after the appetizers in the buffet as you've heard so this really caters to my uh experience. Kind of go for the rolls. A little fried rice.

Just kind of stay on that side of the thing. Screw the Mongolian beef. No one likes that. No one cares about the vegetables. No one likes that. No one wants chow mein. No one wants soup. No one wants some bubble tea.

It's all, I'm out. Appetizers on the buffet. So you're just drafting the appetizers on the buffet? You you're just drafting the appetizers on the buffet? You just roasted everything on the buffet but the appetizers. Yeah, fight me.

This man drafted the category of appetizers twice in our draft. Wait a second. Three times if you count rolls is the only difference between this and your other pick just instead of someone giving it to you you're self-serving your self appetizers to eat for dinner is that the only difference no it's the fact you could

get all you could eat it's just the coincidence that all you want to eat as on a coincidence that's that's just the right move jesus oh my gosh you're such a fun all right all right jack i know there's not much left on the board yeah um i'm gonna go with the what i think is the tier two chicken dish beside general so i'm just gonna go with sesame chicken. It's your standard. I think it's even more like basic bitch than General Tso's because it's not even as spicy. But it's good.

It's standard. It's got a nice little sesame teriyaki garlicky thing going on. Yeah, it's good. I needed a chicken dish. If I was a Sbarra right now, I would be making fun

of the sesame chicken. Sesame. But yeah, I'm rounding out I've got seafood crab rangoons bao buns which you can put anything in Mongolian beef and a chicken dish so I got a pretty well rounded menu I'm throwing out there I'm going to save my experience for last I'm ashamed of you

you yeah you gave us the category I've got an experience I'm going to pick the all time experience the best experience at the end that no one's going to take. So just hold on to your butts. All right. Is it playing poker in the back room? Dude, if you get invited to play poker in the back room

of the Chinese restaurant, you're in deep, man. You can't come out of that. You basically half own that Chinese restaurant. Probably give you free appetizers back there. Probably. All of them. All right. My pick, I'd like to draft the appetizers in the back room all right rooks you're out oh it's mine okay so i'm gonna pick a little uh specific experience here and this i've seen this at two places in state college so i'm just gonna assume it's a chinese

food experience and that's children of the people children of the people that work slash own they're running around the restaurant while you're eating and i first off uncle chen's put those kids to sleep i'm in there stumbling in after p-mans. It's 3 in the morning. I don't know what I'm trying to order. I don't know where I'm looking. My eyes are crossed. I just am sitting down in this chair waiting for some fucking general tease, and there's this little kid next to me playing fucking Candy Crush on a goddamn iPad.

She's probably like 6 years old. Put these goddamn children to bed, man. Put them to sleep. yeah there were why did you draft children i don't understand no i drafted the experience though of being it's not what i said play the dolphins it's not it's not a good chinese food it's not a good chinese food place if the family members aren't all in the restaurant running around that's that's what i'm saying drafting the family yeah sure the fast and furious style it's all about family it's all about family

exactly that's my draft pick it's an experience alright Corey draft's going great for you you thought you weren't going to have anything because nobody's drafting anything related to Chuck alright I am ashamed that I get this as my fourth pick but i'll go fortune cookie

good call good call it seems like it seems like it makes sense at this point i think he flustered cory more than if we would have drafted this normally like we are so in his brain right now like i would have i would have been digging deep just to find napping in the fifth round but here i am with fortune cookie at four uh yeah fortune cookie uh again as a kid who didn't like chinese food that much uh look forward to it nothing you like more than getting a nice little fortune and uh it's my dessert so it's a nice way to end it do you actually eat the cookie or do you just read your fortune i used to eat the cookie and i feel like i don't really anymore like i have nothing again i don't think it's like

bad i just think it's like it's like bland it's like nothing special you like the plain girl scout cookies yeah i like i feel like they taste the same i like pretty much all of the girl scout cookies so that's not really like saying i only like the bland cookie like i still like taste okay yeah yeah all right all right you got another pick you got another pick and my last one right yes yes yeah uh i'm gonna go again i have to do this because if i didn't i feel like our jersey listeners would be very shocked i'm going uh sweet and sour chicken because i got this dish from uncle chen's shout out free publicity really we need we should

be getting paid for all this publicity i don't know they're gonna like the whole children comment but okay we'll figure out that that'll be uh figured out later uh i'm going sweet and sour chicken and uh i used to get it every single time i went to Uncle Chen's. I don't know why. I think I just liked the sauce. Also, shout out 712 Legacy apartment for having it on your walls at one point. Dude, Uncle Chen's got a 3.2 stars out of 5. That's a tough review. That's solid for a college town. That's an honest review.

That is a very honest review of it look at wait look at the uh actual comments people made are there any comments about the uh the family running around uh honestly i wouldn't be surprised one of them is to start off everything tasted terrible which is a tough way to start a review what do they continue with what i was bored and got the most basic meal which should be impossible to mess up i got fried rice in general sauce chicken by far the worst meal i've eaten a long time even the fortune cookies tasted so bad they were spit back out steamed dumplings and egg rolls happen to be the only things that was edible if you're desperate enough to try and eat from here don't any of you do have to read in this i warned you jesus all right you got a high you've got a warning first off sorry

you had such a bad day please don't take it out on uncle chen's second off if you eat a fortune cookie and you spit it back out you're not an adult i don't care you're not a fucking adult i don't know why there's eight-year-olds writing fucking Yelp reviews about Uncle Chen's right now, but it's like literally some childish shit. Alright, Corey. Well, I'm done.

I love my picks. Yeah, nice job, bud. Is it my turn again? Fuck. Your last pick, buddy. Yes. There's like... Man. I'm going to go for food.

Just because this is one of my favorite fucking things. I just remembered it last round, but I figured I'd throw out that goofy-ass pick. I am selecting the barbecue pork spare rib, baby. Oh my god. Have you ever had that and it hasn't slapped?

It slaps every fucking time. It's a little pricey, which is why it's down on my list. It's not your typical Chinese choice. But, bra guy, this fits in your appetizer round just like perfect, man. This is all you. Ribs? Yeah. Ribs are not an appetizer.

Yeah, they are. Well, there's always like only like there's only like two or three of them they don't come out with a fucking rack of fucking terry's blacks barbecue fucking ribs my guy it's like three of them that's what you said i did not say a full rack of ribs i said a i said pork spare ribs there's a difference so yeah someone who loves appetizers this is kind of embarrassing for you, Brian. Yeah, I can't believe you're contesting this right now. I've never been to a Chinese food restaurant that has American barbecue on the menu, so I don't know where you're going with that.

It's not American barbecue. It's literally not American barbecue. It's barbecue pork ribs. That's not only in America, dumbass. I'm just saying. That's not really in america dumbass i'm just saying that's not really you think we have the monopoly on all the ribs in the world you think it's only here if you said what country is known for barbecue every country has some form of tanzania yeah i'm just saying i'd probably go iceland but um but yeah i'm going with the barbecue pork spare rib

always slaps always hits little expensive which is why it's lower on my list but you just can never go wrong with it it's always gonna hit different and that's my draft i love my draft too thank you all right i'm going with an experience and it's something i think everyone can relate to so you walk into the chinese food restaurant you sit down you got the nice like placemat in front of you that has all the the years of the the dog the pig whatever you realize hey i'm a little thirsty i'd like a soda and so you order a soda and they bring you the can of soda it's the only like restaurant like like group or that will say you know what screw a draft or screw the the push soda i'll just bring

you a can of sprite and a cup with ice in it and you're gonna dump it out and like it um i respect that i know it just kind of i'd agree that that's like every single time you go it just it just fits the vibe of a Chinese food restaurant because they just feel like they're there. They're literally there just to serve you. They don't care. They're not there to be nice. They're not there to be mean.

They're just there to be efficient, get you in and out. We don't have time to go to the thing and hit the little button and dispense your soda into a cup. Here's a can and a glass and you do it yourself. I'm going with the can of soda that you get if you order it. I don't hate it I wanted you to go a little crazier I wanted something crazier than the children or nap pics by

Rooks because I was going to go with the little cart I was going to go with the little cart that they wheel out your food in that's always fun too they wheel out the food in the cart but man I do not go to Chinese restaurants enough apparently because food in, that's always fun too. They reel out the food in the cart. But... Man, I do not go to Chinese restaurants enough apparently because...

I don't know. Alright. Final pick of the draft. I'm gonna go with the price. The price? You're going... Please explain. Before I get angry, please explain before i get angry please explain hold the applause chinese food is cheap end of statement that's very dependent on like where you go because i've gotten expensive chinese

food so if you order only appetizers except for the barbecue pork spare ribs and you go to a buffet so your experience is bang for your buck is what your experience is everywhere I go that's all I look at Brian's experience is go to a fucking buffet

eat appetizers, go home take a nap yeah man no other nah that's rooks appetizers keep you light you go to the gym afterwards you get moving you gotta burn those calories you go you go you go to the gym after a chinese buffet please like instagram live that shit because i want to see your ass just sweating fucking sweet and sour sauce all over the fucking barbell. All right. Say I won't.

You won't. You're right. All right. Good draft. Everybody to recap. Corey had general sows, chopsticks, the rice box,

fortune cookies, sweet and sour chicken. Rooks had Panda Express, specifically orange chicken, post-Chinese food, nap, Kung Pao chicken, the children or a family that runs the restaurant, barbecue pork spare ribs. Zach had crab rangoon, bao, Mongolian beef, sesame chicken, and the can of soda at the end and i had fried rice appetizers for dinner the category of rolls spring and egg uh buffets and the price so uh i think we know who won here it's seriously like we need to put up a poll because it's absurd to be that we let rooks draft draft children and Brian draft roles.

It blows my mind. I like these no rules drafts. We're going to keep these going from now on. Oh, gosh. I'll put up a poll on Twitter. Vote for me because you know you want to. Let us know who won. Everybody make sure you read the title of what draft that we actually did and then vote like just don't look at these items on our twitter feed and

be like yeah i like all of those just make sure you look at the draft of what it was but hey bry guy if people have if people have concerns or questions about our draft picks what should they do concerns yeah if you have concerns specifically questions about our draft picks what should they do concerns yeah if you have concerns specifically about rooks drafting children uh in the description of every episode there is a link you can leave a voice message please yell at us we'll put in the episode uh also rate us five stars leave a review and we'll see you next week. Have a good week. Love you.