It’s Wednesday My Dudes - Ep. 38: OCP ft. Lil Deb

Episode Date: October 27, 2021

Get side tracked initially by Bryan's hatred for middle aged white actresses specifically named Sandra Bullock, but we get back on track and give our rankings of the top Lil Debbie snacks. Zak has some atrocious hot takes on these ones just saying. Rate us 5 stars and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Links here to follow on Social Media! and Find Other Places to Listen!

There's a new Sandra Bullock movie coming out. One, I hate Sandra Bullock, so I'm not happy about it. But two, the title of it is The Unforgivable. So all I picture is her in the woods talking about Chick-fil-A. Oh my. You fucker. If this movie ended up just being her recreating all the unforgivable YouTube videos, like in black and white in the woods, I would pay so much money to go see it it would be incredible too bad man the i think there's what

four or five of them the first one the first one may still be cool but there's a lot of content in the other ones that are not okay at all yeah there's some there's some uh references to things that are just not not good anymore but the first unforgivable unbelievable and if sandra bullock you know you know they give her a little uh give her a little like bald cap with some uh some like a little fade on it jack her teeth up a little bit and have her just talk like the unforgivable guy i think that would make sandra bullock the best actress that's ever existed like i think she would win an oscar for that oh yeah i'd vote for her for every category i don't care what the category is for anyone for anyone that doesn't know just go onto youtube and search on unforgivable and there's a picture the the like

freeze frame for it is just you know it's so funny i searched it the first thing that comes up is unforgivable trailer number one and then it's the first unforgivable but yeah you'll see what i'm talking about if you look on uh youtube back in like sixth or seventh grade did you ever see him on youtube no you've never seen the one oh okay well zach you got homework you need to watch this video um yeah post podcast please go watch it just a staple in my in the early youtube days i mean that was i mean me and dirty dan shout out to my boy dirty we still quote unforgivable all the time all the time great

it was so good early youtube was the best i met dude i met people in college like in our same grade that didn't know like any of the videos from like fifth or sixth grade that were like popular they didn't know what the numa numa dance was what and i was like it's like the biggest video it was the first thing to like go viral i have no idea how they like didn't know about it that makes me sad zach do you know what that the numa numa numa dances at least yeah of course okay all right fair okay as long as you had that i didn't know how sheltered of a fifth grader you were if you had you two out in the midwest or not i don't know how you guys operate hey just because i went to a private school from preschool to eighth grade doesn't mean i didn't know my parents login

password to the to our local desktop. What happened in ninth grade? They're like, we can't pay for this anymore. Yeah, that's when I got a cell phone. So they let me get a cell phone. So it was downhill from there. Shout out to the, what did I get? A Sprint Rumor.

It was the OG slide up one. And then I got an LG with a trackball on it, which I thought was the coolest thing at the time, and it just never worked. And then I finally graduated to an iPhone. But I do remember those early phones where you would accidentally log on to the Internet and then freak out because your parents told you, we do not have Internet access. So if you log on, we will get charged. I think I made the number up in my head. I thought we were going to get charged like $8,000 if I was going to log on to my phone. So when it would happen, I just ripped the battery out of my phone and just hoped that it didn't connect.

Just slam on the back button. Pretty much. I remember the first time my brother got a text message. It sent through to him, and he was like he's like oh it's gonna be like 99 cents he's like i don't know what this is and my mom like had to give him the go-ahead to like accept it and it was just like from his buddy back home and i was like hey man what's up and that was it it's like that was not worth a dollar to get 10 like letters from a buddy back home asking about nothing i didn't appreciate it i didn't appreciate the sandra bullock slander to

start this pot though we'll have to admit bro she's ready to appreciate the sandra bullock slander to start this pot though we'll have to admit bro she's ready to be everything hate sandra bullock i don't know why he doesn't like her i don't think there's any other then there's no legitimate reason you can give me that to why you hate sandra bullock america's darling in her face everything about her that's not that's not a reason i mean what about her face only the only good movie she has you just said her face so what's wrong with her face we'll break this down we'll break down the psychological trauma you have with sandra bullock just don't like it she just like looks like a like 50 year old like midwestern mom that like because she is probably 50 years old i don't know she's

from the midwest but she's looked like that her entire career though. She's also just in super average movies that people that 50 year old moms like. What movie is she in? Horrible movie. Slapper. Absolute slapper. Miss Congeniality. All of them. I said Miss Congeniality is fine. I said that's my one.

What's the one with her in Ryan Reynolds? That's a proposal. You like's a proposal it's not good i think i watched a proposal once like super baked in my buddy's basement we were like why are we watching this and then we just watched the whole thing and then i was like oh that wasn't bad and that's that's my only opinion on the movie i don't know why i brought it up like i'm a fan of it. It's not good. Sandy B sucks. We can do a draft of her movies and I'll just pass each round. Prince of Egypt, number one.

Have you seen that? Yeah. I haven't. Again, I went to private school, so when we had to stay inside for recess, they'd pop on Prince of Egypt because it's a Jesus movie. Is Jesus supposed to be the prince of egypt no but it takes place in the bible that's how i describe every religious movie is a jesus movie it takes place in the bible okay got it big bible guy over here love the bible it's a book so okay um all right so her fate you still don't give me a

valid reason but so her face and her i guess i'll take that as an okay answer yeah all right what else i'm trying to personality horrible acting oh you you know you know sandra you guys are cool like that no we are cool like that? No, we are cool like that. That's the point. I don't like her. If we could go on Bully Beatdown and I could put Sandra Bullock in the ring, I would. Oh, she was in Bird Box. I liked Bird Box, but like everything except for her.

Burn liked Bird Box? Oh, man. Huge Sandra Bullock stan over here. He's been lying to us for the last five minutes. I was going to say, Bird Box was an objectively terrible movie from her. No, it wasn't. And that's the one you like. Why is that a bad movie?

It's just so corny. The beginning is good, and then you just think about it for too long. Fair. And you understand. Well, it could. And the ending is just so, I don't know. The ending is just, I don't know if it was expected, but I think they're trying to make it a big thing it's like we ended up in the blind community because they can't see the

evil and i'm just like what yeah spoilers for the movie they end up at like a school for blind kids because if you have your eyes closed you won't get like you won't kill yourself because of the like evil thing that's going around originally in the book which what's based off of it's a school for the blind but there's not actually students there it's just people that end up there and then they gouge their own eyes out so that they don't kill themselves which is a much more metal ending a lot cooler than just like here's a bunch of blind kids that like survived for some reason dang burn hates the blind community too coming out hot out of the gates this week look i could take on infinite waves of 10 year old blind kids tell you that man they could even have their sticks just don't don't roll with this one just

21 year old blind kids just let this one go please just let this one go say it i can take a moment god people are gonna turn this podcast on in the opening the cold oh sorry the soft entry is burn literally saying he wants to fight blind children like i'm not saying i want to i'm saying if the situation arose i think i'd do all right i'm light on my feet they wouldn't know where I'm coming from. You just, you know, nobody asked, and then you keep talking about it, which makes me think that, you know, maybe deep down you're trying to hurt blind children.

That's all. No, no, no, I'm good. Everyone hear that little pause? Okay, everyone heard. Good. Good. I had to think about it for a second. Now, only person I'm going to hurt, Sandra Bull bullock if i see her on the street fists right from the get-go i've just never

i don't know what sandra bullock did to you man her and julia roberts i don't know why hate him why do you just hate middle-aged actresses you just hate because they suck dude because they're probably in every movie look okay i'm gonna make a wild guess on why i hate them we used to have before netflix there's blockbuster subscription where you get dvs in the mail but you could only have two or three at a time so we had a family of six people so only half of us could really choose a movie so we're watching a movie one of the three is going to be between my mom or my sister every movie is going to have either sandra bullock or julia what's her name julia rob hurts julia roberts in it they're just in every movie from like 20 years ago hate them i'm gonna make we need to make a flow chart of does burn like this actress and we're gonna go like is she julie roberts is she

is she 40 is she not 40 if she's not 40 burn likes her if she is 40 is that not a punchable face if we go so then we're gonna go down we're gonna go down the 40 year old side is she white is she not white is she not white burn can deal with her is she white hates her absolutely hates her stop white people 2k 21 we need a full flow chart of this i can make one be pretty short we'll start working like maybe maybe monday i'll gather all my materials you know get all that stuff together tuesday maybe type out a draft you know go into microsoft paint and just get it all going and then it is wednesday my dudes welcome back to another episode of it's wednesday my dudes sorry for the tangent we'll stop talking

about julia roberts episode 38 gonna be drafting little debbie snacks i'm hyped i got a lot of opinions and i hope that we all don't just think that the ranking's the same but based on the fact that zach before we started this said that he didn't know half of them, I'm assuming I'm going to be mad at some of you. Which is three out of the ten that we're going with. You said four. No, just three. You said you never had four, though.

So you know one, but you've never had it, and then you just don't know three of them. This is all schematics, as Rooks would say. The conversations that happen in the pregame lobby of this podcast stay in the pre-game lobby of this podcast confidential sorry that's a lawyer client privilege or whatever it is that's our new shemantics but anyways uh cory's out he uh card trouble sort of someone else's card trouble he's figuring it out uh but we got rooks what's goody what's goody hello hello we got zach you know you make me want to shout

and i'm brian uh get right into it rooks how's your weekend you know it was a good it's a good time you know um the week definitely dragged a little. By Friday, I was ready to put my lips on a cold one. Just kind of did the usual shit Friday night. Went out and about. Drank some alcoholic beverages. Had a great time there. You know, just the uges.

I went to this bar. So the bar we were trying to go to is called public yeah there's there's this city i think it's a city bank there's a bar on each side of it we go into one side and we're like oh this is public when you walk up the stairs the first thing my buddy says is this is not public and we're looking and then i start like coming to and seeing around we have no fucking idea what this bar is we're like okay let's check it out let's just walk around see what's up dude this shit was i like i was not that fucked up and the other the other people i was with agreed with me this place is a maze we walked down one staircase we came back up the

staircase the same one and we were in a different room. How does that happen? Do you have moving walls or some shit? What is this? It was so freaky. Like, I'm not, I swear to God, it was not that fucked up. It was,

it was so weird. It was so weird. And then, but, we went up, we went up, like, just kind of checked it out. We were on this one dance floor that was, like, popping.

We were like, holy shit, this is dope. We come back down. There's nobody on the dance floor at all we've been weaving on for like 15 20 minutes we came back down that same stairwell that i actually had a hidden door on it so you went to a different well that's what i think it's like you know maybe they just start fucking with us and they have like the exact same rooms on two different parts of the bar so that you think you're going into one and then it's a different part exactly we went to the we were down there we were like wait what the fuck happened so then after that we were like okay let's get the fuck out of this maze before we get trapped here

forever um went to another bar that we typically go to same old same old um uh shout out kristen capitellios uh taylor uh basaki uh cron for um hit them with a facetime was on facetime until 5 30 in the morning ruined my sleep it was a great time though got a lot of chit-chatting to do i did the sheesh thing in the mirror 65 times it was great um hold on next sorry did you facetime them or did they facetime you i facetimed them forgetting that they were in california so i facetimed them at like three ish or something and they were like oh we'll be back from the bar and like we'll be back from the bar in like 30 or an hour or something and then

when they got back i face that like i facetime them like when they were back and stayed on until 5.30. Gotcha. But then woke up Saturday morning still running hot. I was still feeling a little drunk. I was feeling great. Made a frozen pizza for Brekkie. Sat on my balcony and did some more rounds on FaceTime. Just FaceTiming people across the world. Shout out to Ted Wynn in Texas. Then I had the lovely fucking pleasure of watching penn state play

illinois don't bring it up illinois and watch them lose in nine overtimes it was fantastic man one of the best one of the best 12-hour games of football i've ever watched um so then after that i was like well this is kind of sad and luckily i had plans to go uh go see a buddy back in my hometown and we were just gonna hang out at his place to drink we had some giggles it was a great time you know played some washed up beer pong played hella super smash hella smash we always we always we always play smash and we're at a good level you know we're pretty pretty buzzed just having a good time one of us will suggest have you ever well you probably haven't captain falcon game l for like all three of us pick captain falcon we make the computer captain falcon if you get falcon at all, it's a shot for every time you get Falcon punched.

So the first game we played, we're all playing super defensive. I think one of us had two and the other ones and then the other two of us had one. And then that's kind of like getting us a little wobbly. We played another round. We had to change it to halves because I got four. One of my friends got five and then my other friend got three so we were like yeah let's just make these um halves per time but yeah got bus and dominoes order had a great time great great great decompress

after um the most depressing football game i've ever watched in my life um james franklin go fuck yourself you're definitely leaving the players noticed go fuck yourself um but who called it he's not leaving he there's all these reports that he just changed his agency and it's like why would he talk about it in the middle of the year he talked about it today or yesterday did he just say one and oh 50 times you just go one and oh one and oh one and oh one and oh there's he said one good thing one bad thing the good thing was he said it happened over summer it's just now being reported so like that's makes more sense the second the bad thing though was he's like i'm just focused on illinois and then he ended the you're obviously not focused fuck face um but like in his defense

maybe he's focused on like tape from illinois but it's still i don't think that's what he meant but regardless franklin you know you were on the come up for me now you're on my shit list um but yeah and then ordered dominoes knocked the fuck out sunday watched hours of commercial free football and it was great cardinals 31 to 5 eat my butthole it was great great time watching it um yeah that was that was the weekend i'll give i'll give my weekend um i'll give it four Falcon punches. You know? Four Falcon. Falcon. Bam! I want you to go back to that bar in D.C. and, like, try to find it. And there's just, like, an empty alleyway

where you actually walked into it. It's just gone. Dude, I would not be fucking surprised. It was so... The vibe of this place was so strange. The inside was a maze and there were all these different rooms. Like, there was one dance floor that

Was literally just like a bedroom Like it was like very small and Then you go in that they had like a Bar on the outside and it was Straight Straight like techno housey And there's all these people just super Fucked up on drugs it was like where am I

What is the vibe here I can't I can't get a read on this place at all definitely have to go back it was fat it was definitely an experience i'll tell you that nice so zach how's your weekend uh my weekend was good uh prime time for you guys to talk about weddings last week because your boy went to one this past uh saturday friday we did a uh nice little boat tour on the chicago river so would recommend for anyone who's visiting chicago to um to look at one of the tours uh preferably i think the one we went on was like lady something like lady boat something but anyway uh they're really good they're i think they're lady boat something i can't remember um but no they're really great so anyone who is visiting chicago would recommend if you're looking something for like an afternoon thing i think

they serve lunch and drinks on there it's a really great way to see the city so we did that that was a lot of fun it's kind of like a rehearsal dinner. Saturday morning, squeezed in a little golf guy. It was a smooth of 45 degrees out. So, you know, a little nipply outside. And for whatever reason, they had a frost warning, which was the strangest thing I've ever heard. So we were delayed an hour and a half from our tee time. So we were just literally sitting around,

popped an Adderall, a buzzword. Frost warnings are so ass i just what even look what's the problem i i don't know i think something with the carts maybe i'm not 100 sure but i'm gonna suck and create divots either way so whether there's frost just drifting left and right i have a frost in the carts i think if it's i think if it's frosty outside it damage you could damage the grass easier and like fuck up the course more but yeah frost warning frost warning yeah they were bad so we were delayed an hour and a half and i was cutting it kind of close and my parents were not too happy because i had to pick up my suit from nordstrom you know typical guy thing last minute got my suit tailored was available to pick up you know like three hours before the wedding um went to the wedding

was beautiful was gorgeous uh dancing all night i was a walking vodka soda the entire night it was uh it was a lot of fun a good fan it was a family wedding so good family i taught my dad how to dance so normally i don't know if your dads are like this or dads of our viewers uh they're not a big dancer but he saw my sister my mom and all the rest of our family have fun so he came out on dance floor and i literally took him and i taught and i was will smith and he was kevin james and hitch i just said dad you live right here you live right here and i was like sidestep and you just live right here it was amazing um you didn't teach him to hit the whoa? No. No. Luckily, he didn't do the Q-tip either. And I was like, just take it and throw it away.

We tried to do that to my dad at one of my brother's weddings. And he would dance for like two seconds. Then he would stop. And Michael would walk away. And he was like, okay. Just not feeling it. Even just arms to the side, like step left, step right. Just do that over and over.

Not feeling it. I was so surprised. I was so surprised. Because, again, my dad would be the same way. just arms to the side like step left step right just do that over and over not feeling it i was so surprised i was so surprised that he even because again my dad would be the same way he'd just be sitting down and talking to other dads or other other men at the who are not dancing as well um but all right so i'll give a quick you guys ranked those six things last time yeah so i'll give my rankings really quick um one music obviously agree with all what you said we'll say there was a band at this wedding. The band was good.

I prefer a DJ over a band. Might be a hot take. I don't know if we've talked about this. I just prefer the original people who sang and recorded the songs and made them hits. I want to hear those people. I don't want to hear Jimmy who moonlights as a Freddie Mercury for daytime. He sells insurance. I don't really want to hear him sing Bohemian Rhapsody.

I'd rather have... Give me the recording. But yeah. sells insurance like i don't really want to hear him sing bohemian rhapsody i'd rather have you know give me the recording um but yeah so music number one um alcohol number two again also this place was great no i didn't have to tip the bartenders they didn't have a tip jar out so it's fantastic they all had high you know top shelf liquor so it was great i enjoyed that i'm gonna go with venue number three and this is only on the caveat that it has that it has you know, top shelf liquor. So it was great. I enjoyed that. I'm going to go with venue number three. And this is only on the caveat that it has air conditioning because you get hot and sweaty in that.

And anyone who has an outdoor wedding, I've been to those two in like a barn. Terrible. I'm just leaking through my shirt after 30 minutes. So give me air conditioning in the venue. It's got to be. That's why it's number three. Once you're at the reception,

no one cares if you're sweaty though. No, true dude it's like true because you can be sweaty and air conditioning and it's called you could take a step outside and get you know you can i think cool off a little bit if you're out on a barn outside there's no escaping the stickiness so i need to have some relief and that's why the ac is necessary i'm on zach's side here get fucked burn but like i would rather have good food and it'd be hot than like that's no totally incorrect false i you haven't passed out in hooters before and it shows but for that you would just require food not good food just any food um i still so um four i put miscellaneous events and stands uh they had a photo booth there and it was great they had little props and stuff classic where it was it was fun that's like it's not a make or break thing but it's it's it's a break from the

dance floor it's also great for a single people who don't have dates when a slow song comes on you can kind of keep yourself occupied while everyone else is dancing. So really appreciate that. Five is food. I feel like even this place was a little fancier and I was like, the food was just like, eh, it was fine.

Unless if you do something cool where you have like fast food, I'd be like, Oh, that's great. If you have McDonald's or something or Taco Bell, I'd be like, Oh, this is great.

Other than that, that'd be dope. Food is five. And the last one is all the wedding stuff. It's just a formality. Thank you. Unless if you're the brother, mom, or dad, or the sibling, or the mom or dad of the person getting married, I don't think it's – even if you're like an aunt and uncle. It was my cousin's wedding.

I'm like, oh, great. I don't really know these people that well to really care that much. You know what I mean? It's not care. Care is not the right word. But I don't have know these people like that well to really care that much you know i mean like it's not care care is not the right word but i'm not i don't have a vested interest and i'm not like a crier or anything like that so i was just like yeah all right let's get this moving let's get to the drinks let's get to the cocktail hour so that's that's why that's last so um no last is spouse number seven yeah yeah um and then yeah so got home uh it was a it was a rainy day in chicago so perfect for watching football but all my teams football teams stink so we don't i just watch football just as

kind of background noise and teams that aren't the bears or the hoosiers so uh it was great uh sunday scaries and then i woke up a little kind of sick guy i think it just my body's a little run down too much partying. So we're going to recover and get back after it this weekend. So I am going to give my weekend five. Well, we'll just give it five. I'm going to give it 69 gray gooses. It's like the added verse to the 12 Days of Christmas.

So you keep going and you hit 69. 69 Grey Gooses. Do you remember on our trip to DC in like 5th grade, we did like the 99 bottles of beer on the wall? Yeah, we did all of it. No, we got to like 5 and then they made us stop. Really? We got within single digits and they made a stop and I was so pissed

Cuz how do you make it that far? Yeah, how do we get how do we get? 94 of these And you know, this is definitely 60 seconds. I hated it. Oh, so That's pain. I didn't remember that i probably just tried to i probably just like repressed that pressed it yeah i'll bring it up in therapy later it's fine so my week lots of tv lots of music so i didn't know season three double shot of love vinnie and paula d is on this season i'm like eight episodes behind they're doing this again again so season one they had both of them dating both of them ended up with no one at the end horrible season two they were just in vegas and they just brought all the exes from the show to

like hang out and then one of them polly like ended, like, ended up with. So, like, he's taken. So, season three, it's just Vinny. But Pauly and his girl are there as well. And they're just, like, hanging out. So, they're just, like, on the couch also with the contestants. Just, like, talking smack and, like, gossiping and stuff. It's great. But, man, Vinny is awkward as hell. If you've ever tried, want to watch a, like, love show where the lead has zero charisma and is as awkward as every other person

like in the actual world is watch this show it's so cringy it's great though i feel so much better about myself because he like has his head like shoulders up high and his like head down low and he's like hey do you want to go talk and then like go in the corner and like you're being really awkward right now he's like i know that's just who i am and i'm just like dude how have you been on tv for 10 years and you can't handle this right now shit he has been on tv for like 10 years the jersey short came out like 2009 2010 literally 10 years it's crazy i'm gonna talk about that in therapy too jesus christ um but it's great one of the dates they played chubby bunny because they have zero yeah brother is great though everyone watch that show second show on netflix there's a show called title town

high first off it's not that great. I don't really recommend it, but it's by the creators of Two A Days. Dude, I wouldn't recommend either of the shows you just brought up. You don't have to say it's this one. Well, I recommend the first one. Fully. It's great.

Second show, it's just not done well. But it's by the creators of Two A Days. It's the same coach from Two A Days. Really? But it's like two creators of two days it's the same coach from two days but he's like two schools different yeah rush probes probes yep well because i read his last name i was like i don't recognize that and then there's all these like stories of like him like getting scandals and stuff and i was like reading those stories and then it said hoover at some point i was like i feel like that's this is cool from before so i looked it up but it's the exact same dude um but like the one player they follow is like a second string d lineman who in the first I feel like that's, this is cool from before. So I looked it up and it's the exact same dude.

But like the one player they follow is like a second string D lineman who in the first five games doesn't play. And he's like the main storyline. Hell yeah. This is makes it no, the only reason they follow him is because he's like cheating on his girlfriend and there's cameras around. I will say two days, right?

Like the original show same thing the main character is alex bender alex bender is first off his shoulders fucked for like the entire season he's playing on and off he's not the best player by any means like they they highlight all these other people that are awesome players but he's the main character because he's cheating on his girlfriend that's absolutely what this is i'm glad i'm glad they're i'm glad they're sticking with their roots definitely the exact same like group of producers oh it's great also so the first string qb his parents divorced so that he could move schools to then be eligible for this school he plays the first game and then they rule him ineligible because it's not like a legal move

so his parents literally got divorced with the intention of getting back together after the season is over and they still got ineligible and they had to forfeit that first game because of it. What? It's insane. Also, I heard about this story like a year ago, like on the radio, and then didn't know it was like literally the school that ended up being on Netflix. Ridiculous. So then the second string QB comes in. He sucks. And so the third string QB comes in.

This kid is Tommy Soggins. He is the dead ringer doppelganger for Thomas the Stank Engine. It's so weird to me. I'll have to send you a photo. Tommy Soggins? Don't you mean? Tommy Soggins. Timmy Soggins.

Timmy Soggins. We're close. Halfway there. Half doppelganger, half real. But it's not a great show. But if you're really hankering for some like weird like documentary football stuff go for it if you feel nostalgic about two a days watch an episode then uh we got to see angels and airwaves in concert this weekend which again what funny just you know a little funny uh fun fact i was gonna airwaves perform the

the intro song i didn't know that yeah so after that concert there's one song that i didn't know that i loved i was like i'll look this one up and i was like listening to us this is great and then i like typed it in i was reading the comments on like the youtube video for it and they're like man takes me back to two days i, yeah, it's the theme song for two days. It's literally the theme song for two days. I was like, what a great week. But that concert was awesome,

dude. The lead singer is the lead singer from Blink-182 from back in the day. And so he's like hella goofy. So he's just on stage, like talking about boobs and like doing the robot in between songs. He's not like trying to be like cool. And he just doesn't give a shit anymore. No,

not at all to be like cool and he just doesn't give a shit anymore no not at all and like he owns a company that their sole goal is to like get the government to talk more about ufos so like he had like a good 10 minute speech about that which was like crazy but like i don't know it was entertaining at least time and place man that's what he's all about i don't know but music wise they're great um halfway through though i like look to my left and there's two guys about my same height normal really tall white dudes look to my right another two really tall white dudes they're all just air drumming together just like in a straight line felt like i was in nick cannon's like drum line it was the strangest thing because like you can't really dance to their music yeah and it's not like moshing music so i

guess you just have to resort to air drum so we had a whole air band going so it was super strange um and then today got my covid booster shot so like let's go. So I rate my week four air drummers. Nice. Dude, that makes me think of, and I like, this is a little different, I guess. But at the gym today, there were at least nine separate people shadow boxing in between sets.

Like I was, I'm doing some bent over bent over rows right i'll get up from my set everyone is crowding the rack across the entire mirrors what is going on there's dudes fucking preparing for fucking i don't know they're in a fucking montage right now i don't know if they're filming a tiktok i don't know if i don't know what's happening but they're sitting there just shadow boxing in front of the mirror like when's your fucking when's your big fight mayweather what are you doing man get back to curling your fucking 15s and get the fuck out of the mirror man i'm trying to look at my gains i haven't seen people shadow box since like college i feel like that was huge because like oh that was so big at penn state club boxing had like apparently like a hundred

different people on it because they were at every gym always it was always always shadow boxing baby there's those people who like record themselves at the gym and initially when i see it i am is that you do you do it no no no no i saw a guy two days ago had a full tripod set up yeah it's people people post that shit on like instagram and shit but like put your phone in saw a guy two days ago had a full tripod set up in front of the yeah it's people people post that shit on like instagram but like put your phone in the corner cool do your thing that's fine but like don't bring a tripod to the gym and

like he was benching 285 which like that's good but that's not like you need to take a video of it and show off good there's a lot of people on instagram that bench 285 that's what three plate no two plates no it's not even three two plates and 25 to around that but yeah i so like to be honest i'd like to do it one i'm never gonna do it but i'd like to do it once for certain exercises but i'm just like

i'm like where do i set it up and then someone walks in front of you and then you're just a weird guy who's taping it it's just that just too too much. I will say I've only, I've done it once. Um, when I, when I was, I used to deadlift kind of heavy. And when I was doing it, there was one day where I, my bat was feeling tight.

So I wanted to see if I was, if I was looking stupid and I was fucking up, but it was just heavyweight. But, um, but yeah, I don't like, I could go on for days about Jim Bugaboo's.

Oh my gosh, man. Let's save that. We could say that for next week. I will days about Jim Bugaboos. Oh my gosh, man. Let's save that. We could save that for next week. I will throw out one other one there. Everyone keep your shoes on. Why are we having our shoes off? I don't care if for deadlift, deadlift is better grip for your shoes.

Then get weightlifting shoes. No one wants to smell that shit. Like no one wants to see your Hanes socks, your yellow Hanes socks sticking to the floor, buddy. Get some weightlifting shoes or just lift. Like, it does not that much better grip if you just, you know, stick your feet in. Then, you know what? If you're going to do, then take your whole sock off because that's the ultimate grip. Then why are we stopping at the socks?

Why are we stopping at just socks? Let's go Sasquatch. Yeah. Coward. Take it all off off you weirdo uh i guess i have to admit i'll take my shoes off for deadlifts but uh just buy a buy wait buy those fucking foot shoes like those where you have the toes and the rubber shoes the shoes i the shoes i wear the gym are like ones that have like holes in the then buy new shoes why do you have holes in your shoes?

Because they're my gym shoes, and they work perfectly fine. But they're not great for... They work perfectly fine, except I take them off because they're gross. Brian, you're not some kid in a Christmas story that has bad shoes that is wishing for new shoes for Christmas and hopes Santa leaves them under his fucking tree. Buy some shoes, my guy my guy look they still work i don't know you're not going to take them off they literally don't you take them off because they don't work for that i never said i have to i just said i do i could still wear them they'll just kind of destroy them a lot faster because

they're gonna make those holes a lot quicker. Don't schematics us right now. I'm just saying what I said. You're trying to twist my words. Yeah, we'll save it for next episode, which will be the most bro-iest episode next week about gym etiquette. I can't wait.

We'll rank pre-workouts. Oh, wait, no, we need to save it because I won't be here next week. Okay, we'll save it. We need to save it. All right. But we are here to rank. What are we need to save it because i won't be here next week okay we'll save it we'll save it all right all right cool but we are here to write what are we here to rank brian we're not here to oh we are here to rank i was gonna say we're not here to rank we are literally here to rank we're here to rank little debbie snacks based on last week they had the little christmas tree snacks as an ice cream now sounds so good. So it got us thinking,

which are the best, which are the worst. I'm assuming we're going to have a lot of the same best, but based on our ice cream draft, I don't trust you guys' opinions. So the list that we have, Nutty Bars, Honey Buns,

Spin Wheels, which is like the cinnamon roll thing. Nutty Bars, Nutty Buddies. They're Nutty Buddies. No, thing nutty bar nutty buddies they're nutty buddies no it's nutty bars they're nutty buddies burn i looked it up they're nutty buddies look it up again and i'll go through the rest of the list chocolate cupcakes oatmeal cream pies zebra cakes gingerbread men star crunch swiss rolls and comic cosmic brownies there's 10 rooks is right there's a lot more

well you're both right kind of they're called nutty buddies now they're formerly known as nutty bars so you're both right rooks is technically more right but you're also right brian kind of don't give me kind of i also was right. Okay, so there's those 10. We're already going to pick one. I'll say what our ranking is, hash it out, pros, cons, and then move on. At the end, we can go through our list of all of them and see which one of us is actually crazy and which one of us is actually right. Because some of you guys haven't had all these. I've had every single one of these, plus like 20 others that aren't on the list.

There's one on here that I haven't had. There's one singular one that I haven't had. You guys did not have a Little Debbie in your lunch at high school every single day. Also, I'd like this for Tupan. I actually did. I had one of them in my lunch in high school every single day, but it was one of them.

I just need a whole box now at one time because they're so good. I would like us first to ponder the question for after, just really quick. Are Little Debbie and Wendy related? Hmm. Does Little Debbie have red hair? Let's just think.

A lot of similarities. Why would it? How come Wendy gets called Wendy, but then Little Debbie would be called Little Debbie? Is there a there a big debbie is little debbie a rapper little debbie that'd be a sick rap for them honestly though easy sponsorship too yo all right little debbie i nutted on your buddy oh my god all right which one we start on brian uh cosmic brownies zach go number two oh bold take horrible take why uh this was my uh go-to uh cake when i was giving blood i'd give platelets every two weeks when I was in high school and in eighth grade.

That is so specific. That is such a specific memory. What the fuck? So I used to give platelets a lot. You give platelets every two weeks because basically they take your blood out, they centrifuge it, get the platelets out, and then pipe your blood back into you. Piped up. Yeah, so every two weeks I'd meet the nice ladies at the Heartland Blood Center in Naperville,

Illinois on 75th Street. And I'd go in there. It takes two hours, right? And so after you're done, they might want you to sit in the waiting room and make sure you don't get dizzy and die. And they'd always have ready for me two Cosmic Brownies and two orange juices. And I would... They'd give it to you?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I thought you were bringing them yourself. No, no, bringing them no no no no no no they were they were always there and so i f that's how my love for cosmic brownies grew they were delicious and the secret of the cosmic brownie is when you open up the package you press all the little sprinkles into the brownie and then you crack it where the crease is and then you eat them in in two sections so that's why i was gonna say yeah literally everyone on this list except for like one there's a specific way you need to eat it and i did half of them are probably just me being weird but like when i was going through and like ranking all these i had one for most of them and i was like all right well guess there's a way that's gonna be my one like special fact for all also it's definitely not

i didn't have one for it's definitely not a brownie it's just fudge it's just like there's a way that's gonna be my one like special fact for all also it's definitely not i didn't have one for it's definitely not a brownie it's just fudge it's just like there's no real difference between the frosting and the actual brownie part it's one just a little glossier than the other it's pretty much the only difference so it's a great it's a great snack though my top uh number two my silver medalist if you will bad idea um since i think rooks is gonna rate it high i'll go next uh eight on my list that's a that's terrible brownie it's just it's just fudge it's only chocolate there's nothing else to it that's it there's like two sprinkles on top that do nothing for you there's not two sprinkles there's at least eight eight to to ten. The minimum. Four per side. Count them.

No. You'll get what bad when it has two sprinkles on it. Which also, even if you get eight or ten, gives you nothing. They're very overrated. They're not that big, though, dude. I feel like if you have more than ten sprinkles, it's going to be all sprinkles. How big do you think sprinkles are? Do those sprinkles... Dude, they don't have to go that hard with the Cazaprani sprinkles. What do the sprinkles like again big do you think sprinkles are? Do those sprinkle?

Dude, they don't have to go that hard with the Caja Brownie sprinkles. What are the sprinkles like again? Let me see. They don't have to go with the stars and stuff. The Caja Brownie sprinkles are special, too. They're not actual sprinkles. They're little fudge candies, too. They're like chocolate candies. They're not just sprinkles, I think.

They have chocolate inside. Yeah, no. They're like little M&Ms, right? Yeah, right. Kind of like... They literally add nothing to that because they're just chocolate flavored. Yeah, they didn't have to go that hard. Little Debbie didn't have to go that hard in the factory.

I don't get the hype. It's not good. It's eight. Save us, Rooks. Save us. I got this at three, man. It's just solid. No. Cosmic Brownies are super consistent across the board.

They got good sprinkled to fudgy ratios that I appreciate. The ratio is just chocolate. There's nothing else to it. You just said it's a little chocolate crunch. I like a little chocolate crunch. Big chocolate crunch guy, actually. But yeah, just compared to other ones on the list. I just think these ones are more consistently good,

and then they just got a better taste than some of the other ones. Some of the other ones on the list, which I'll get into, they just don't quite hit their marks, you know what I mean? And I feel like Cosmic Brownie, you know what you're getting into every time. It's going to be a nice fudgy with a chocolate crunch and it's good you're gonna be on your way like zach said you're gonna be uh donating blood saving lives and just popping off liar all right pick another one to go on i'm already disappointed in you go let's go oatmeal cream pies because it sounds gross we're con number one an oatmeal cream pie i guess

i'll go first it sounds great or it sounds bad or fantastic oh yeah it depends on what kind of mood i'm in um oatmeal cream pies for me is eight what um way too high way no you guys are crazy oatmeal cream pies very just underwhelming i feel like every time i've had an oatmeal cream pie it's real god this sounds really gross but they're always real smushy like they're always real it's like oatmeal they are advertised cream it's just like it's just this big fucking sloppy mess and i oatmeal cookies off rip are kind of meh and then you just take you take them and you just put some cream in between the cookie like you know it's just it's just not describing it you're not listening to any poor qualities you just literally said it's oatmeal

okay and there's cream in the middle number eight i don't i don't as i said i don't think there's cream in the middle. Number eight. I don't, as I said, I don't think there's that much good in an oatmeal cookie itself. Oatmeal cookies are not that great. Please listen to my argument before you spew bullshit on this podcast. Second, you put cream. Spew cream pies on this podcast. Yeah. But you just put, so as I was saying, you just put fucking cream in between two mediocre cookies. It's not good.

I'm not a fan. These are all my points that I've written down. Bitch. No one likes oatmeal cookies. Two, adding icing in between it doesn't really help. Three, why would I want two oatmeal cookies? Excuse me. It's called cream, not icing.

It's called cream. Cream. Cream. Also, the only pro I'll give it is when i googled it they apparently have a cereal version of it and that would probably be pretty good but other than that i have this rank 10 this is literally my last one whoa these ones they're gross uh wrong this one's number three uh yes uh the reason is because for all the reasons that you guys said i agree that normal oatmeal cookies are trash because they are too crunchy and just they taste too much like raw

like i'm raw dog and oatmeal these are soft which is delicious um and the cream in the middle is also fantastic it's somehow it just it's just so moist and crumbly and delicious the fact that they're able to make me enjoy an oatmeal cookie is i i gave a bonus points for that they have two sizes too they have a like a snack size and they have a jumbo size that's about as big as like this like a pop filter on my mic right now i will say the the large ones are a little much they are a little overwhelming way too much cream a lot of cream um but i i don't know if it's just a nostalgic thing for me i just really enjoyed it They are a little overwhelming. Way too much cream. A lot of cream. But I don't know if it's just a nostalgic thing for me.

I just really enjoyed it as a little kid. And so they're number three. Again, behind the Cosmic Brownie, coming in bronze. You know, they're on the podium. We're singing the Oatmeal Cream Pie National Anthem or whatever it is. I don't know what song that would be, but they're on the podium. I did not like that statement. The Oatmeal Cream Pie National Anthem. I did not like that point i did not like that statement the oatmeal cream pie national anthem i did not like that i did not like that i wanted another medical story from zach where you

would as a child would donate hair and they would give you a oatmeal cream pie every time i want the audience or the viewers to know there were so many jokes i could have made with little debbie and and and making her oatmeal cream pies but i held off so shout out to me yo i will say that was that was pretty good pretty good bit by us they're not diving into that we we said cream a few times you know a little you said cream 85 times and you also said moist you packed a lot of zach said moist so to describe it he wasn't saying moist as in a gross way and then i corrected you with cream once And then I whispered Cream another time So it's not that bad

I think I chalked that up as a W for us No That's a That's a neutral Next on the list Let's go Let's go

Let's go swish roll Swish roll Swish Swish or sweets Swish Rolls Sean Connery Fuck me Right or you got swiss swiss rolls so you see uh i had these all the time uh uh where i need to scroll my list they're pretty

high up there uh number two swiss rolls are the bomb so there's two special ways to eat them. One, just kind of unroll them and then bite them like it's a fruit by the foot. Not a good way to do it, but I did it sometimes. I don't know. How are you unrolling them? Because it's a roll. So this is what you do. All right.

You take it out of its package. It's on its little paper thing. You take it up. Where it touches the paper paper there's a little corner you nibble those off and then you bite both ends and then you can unroll it bro earlier you said that you earlier you said there's a specific way to eat these no that's the way to eat here's a fucking weirdo man what the fuck what a strange particular way to eat a fucking Swiss roll I had to

relook these up to make sure I wasn't looking at the wrong thing there is no way to unroll these it's a cake you started describing it I was like wait what the fuck is a Swiss roll like what is this and then I looked at no I know what it is but what you're describing doesn't make sense it's covered in hard chocolate how do you

you have to like nibble the chocolate off yeah that's right you nibble the bottom corner that's the seal and then you bite the ends and then you get it unroll it i want to push this lower now for how brian described how we eat it either way they're delicious they're the same as like the chocolate cupcakes but just better ratio of like cream to chocolate and my grandma used to give us ice cream and then just throw like four swiss cake rolls on top so like kind of have the nostalgia from that one from like gaining 45 pounds for my grandma so that pushed it up a little bit but they're great literally it's the best chocolate one on this list by far i'm gonna i'm gonna uh disagree there a little bit. I'm throwing Swiss rolls in at

number six. You're the worst. I think they're just kind of middle of the pack for me. I don't know. I think they're good, but again, I like Cosmic Brownies and another one that we're going to get into better. And then I have my nostalgia entry after those.

And then, so I have to, you know, I got to throw them at six. All you said was things about other things. You didn't say a single thing about this cake roll. It's a it's a it's a 10 item list. There's going to be some things that they're just not stacking up to the other things. I like the other things more than these. That's the literal definition of a ranking system. I like these more than these ones. So these ones of a ranking system i like these more than these

ones so these ones are going to go lower on my list you get a one for your bcr response that's fine oh my god ew bcr response oh god don't give me anxiety like that uh these are number four for me so we've gone to you've picked two three and four for me so this one's they're good they're picked two, three and four for me. So this one's, they're good. They're fine. I will say, I will say the ratio is, is great, is excellent.

Like to your point is really good. The only problem is though, the, the, the, the twin packaging that they have, inevitably you're going to rip the bottom off. The bottom's coming off when you pull it off the paper,

the bottom layer of chocolate stick into there. So it's not, I don't get off that full outer layer of chocolate experience when i bite down my bottom teeth are going right through and my top teeth gets that nice crunch it's a little little jarring for my taste buds um but yeah i also think the hoho is a better version of the swiss roll no yeah um hohos are not good i like them individually packed sometimes less is is more. And in this case, I agree. I think Ho-Ho is better than the Swiss roll. Yeah.

And for that reason, I don't trust anything that you say about food. There's still number four. There's still number four. They're good. They're good. I'm happy you put them at four. But saying a Ho-Ho is better. Facts, man.

Maybe the Midwest has better Ho-Ho's than North Carolina does. Dude, and the people hated Jesus because he told the truth. That's okay. So I'm allowed to crucify you? If you can catch me. We'll save that for another pod. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Wait for a quarter. You're listing ancient Roman tortured methods. Okay. I'll pick one next. Zebra cakes. One of you go first. One, baby. Really?

These are number one. We picked all of them for you. Yeah, we knocked out one through four. So I got to... I just want to say, too, for zebra cakes, we're lumping in the Christmas tree with that. We're lumping in every variation of the zebra cake because there are so many. The 4th of July version, the Halloween version, the Thanksgiving version if there is one,

the Valentine's Day hearts. Sheesh, those are delicious. My mom would always give me those because I didn't really ever have a Valentine growing up. But every time I got those little hearts, I'd break them in half because no one ever loved me. But anyway, zebra cakes, number one uh it has to be the vanilla frosting with the vanilla cake i don't like any of the chocolate variations in there uh it has to be the vanilla uh it's just this is where the twin packaging is great this is an all-time snack food you could trade it for whatever you want if you wanted at the lunchroom you could get it was like it was

basically like having gold um i yeah it's just it's it's a top tier food item i don't know what it's i think it's vanilla flavoring but it had a little something special in it i'm not sure what that special thing was but little debbie just just cooking it up so zebra cakes number one the goat little debbie snack and the best part was when you picked it up off the paper this one doesn't stick hence why swiss is number four zebra cakes number one only because it sticks i have zebra cakes at four because there's no one there's no fancy way to eat them don't have it on my list so i got a dox and points two it's just vanilla like all the other ones have like chocolate plus vanilla or some other flavor so this one's just a little plain so like push it down the list

a little bit and normally i like don't actually like cake like i don't like cupcakes or cake that much but this is good it's like the right ratio of everything frosting stuff on the outside too it's still really good just there's things that are better than it i have zebra cakes at two um see like fair you guys covered it pretty well i mean overall flavor banging ratios banging the variety you can have these things year round and not feel like an asshole about it because it's like oh no this is our holidays man you know like which gives you sweet deniability which is awesome um i don't i don't really have much more to say they're super consistent i will say i have this gives me some nostalgia like to

give us some of that like this was always given out um i forgot there was it was one of my one of my baseball teams i had the same coach multiple years and after games he would always give us zebra cakes like that was what they hand like sometimes they like hand out like parents hand out shitty things hell no this guy handed out zebra cakes little chunky was what they hand like sometimes they like hand out like parents hand out shitty things hell no this guy handed out zebra cakes little chunky third grade rooks who just hit some fucking dingers ready to eat after every game he was

he was walking around the dugout just you gonna finish that like we were vibing in that dugout man um yeah zebra cakes my number two absolute slappers love it alright who's picking one next um let's go let's go with the star crunch okay um so this one on my list comes in at number 9. Not as bad as Oatmeal Cream Pie

because that one just doesn't taste good. But this one also just like, it's just like a giant chunk of chocolate with like some Rice Krispie stuff on the inside and like nothing else to it. It's just like, it looks like rabbit turds that solidified all together in a patty. No visual appeal.

No taste. No special appeal. No taste. No special way to eat it. Dockets points. Gotta put it to the bottom. I was expecting, yeah, I pluck every piece of Rice Krispie off one by one. I lay it on my table

and in a nice little star pattern. Sawdust. Yeah, why is it called Star Crunch no it's not shipped in a star it's like a the how a star actually looks in real life just like a amorphous blob i'll get my ranking out of the way with that one um i got this at nine because i don't know what the fuck a star crunch is never had had a Star Crunch. Googled it. Does not look that interesting. It's just not doing it for me, dog.

Number nine, I don't have much to say about it. Yeah, mine's number eight. I don't like... I've never had this either. I don't really like Rice Krispie Treats, and this seems like a worse Rice Krispie Treat. You've never had it, and you still put it two spots above other

ones yeah because i have two other ones that i've never had before and those sound objectively worse than star crunch at least star crunch has chocolate and i could probably like choke it down that's fair the other two i won't won't be able to so uh yo this thing this thing looks like a fucking rice cake bro bro what are the other two that you don't like the last ones are actually pretty hey brian guess what i'm sure we'll probably get to them in order to finish this ranking, so you'll find out soon. Maybe next week on next episode. Fair, whatever.

Okay. Zach, pick one. I'll say probably the most controversial one. Let's do... See, all mine are bad. We'll do the chocolate cupcake. I've got it at number six. It's fine.

It's a cupcake. What? It's terrible. Again, there is the ding dong way better. do the chocolate cupcake i've got it at number six okay it's fine it's a cupcake what's it's it's a terrible again there is um the ding dong way better variation of the chocolate cupcake um can we can we end the episode now just like you can't you can't put that slander on this episode like they they were like how how have you had one how little cream can we get in this bitch that's the reason the oatmeal cry superior because they're like we're gonna stuff the

shit out of this oatmeal cream pie it's gonna be more to be sweating how moist it is on the inside of this packaging the chocolate cupcake is the dry it dried in the sahara desert if you gave me a choice if you know like hey zach like you're in you're you're you're thirsty right now would you rather have this box of sand or a chocolate cupcake i'm like give me the box of sand there's got to be some water in there somewhere chocolate cupcake number six i think that's a little uh dramatic there but um i will put i am putting the chocolate the chocolate holy fuck rooks um the chocolate cupcake is gonna be number four for me um i it's it's not as good as cosmic brownies but i think it's better than swiss rolls that's why like it busts swiss rolls down on my list and then um i enjoy chocolate cupcakes then like

zach's talking about the dryness of them. Fair. I do agree with that. But your boy, I liked, so no judgment. Um, my favorite donut powder sugar. Like I don't, that shit doesn't phase me.

I'm built different, like dry snacks. Like I don't care. Like I can, I put them down. I enjoy them. You know? Um,

I think the chocolate cupcakes has really, I love the ratio of chocolate cupcakes. I think they are. I enjoy them. You know, I think the chocolate cupcakes has really I love the ratio of chocolate cupcakes. I think they are. And that's why I have them higher than Swiss rolls as well. I think I like the ratio better. I don't know why. You like that it's drier, better. Not it's like more chocolate and less like I'm i when there's more fudge stuff on top

when there's when there's a chocolate and cream snack i like having more chocolate to cream fair i don't mind the dryness as much but i like the chocolate flavor more so i want more chocolate to my cream ratio getting close we're getting close cream ratio got it you need to learn about that one um first off i just want to say i appreciate the name uh they did not try at all it's just a chocolate cup it's just a cupcake so sick what what other dessert they were like ice cream they don't name the flavor they're like or like i don't know just name anything cake like this is called cupcake i don't know psychopaths but it works i guess um i have it at three right below swiss cake roll because the cream ratio is a little bit off the swiss cake

raws more to it it's more like 5050 and that works. But these are still banging. You always have to, on one side of it, there will be the icing on the top that trips down. So there's more icing on one side than the other. That has to be the first bite every time. Don't care what you're doing. That's always the best first bite. It starts you off strong.

But they're great. I don't understand how Zach thinks these are horrible. I don't get it at all. There's six. They're not horrible. They're in the bottom half. Six is below average. Yeah,

they are. That's a great way to describe them. Brian took the words right out of my mouth. You put it one spot above something you've never had. No, no, I don't know. There's one below that,

that I have, that I've had, that I don't, um, that I, I think there's three you've never had. Exactly. That's number six, so seven. I can't count. Probably because you've eaten too many chocolate cupcakes.

I mean, I'm not going to lie. I bought a box of them two days ago and they're gone. So I had eight in two days. Yes, King. They're really good. Fuck you, Burn. 220 calories, that's 880 calories each day. You just skip lunch and then you're even, so it's fine. You know, that's 880 calories each day. You just like skip

lunch and then you're like even. So it's fine. You know, treat yourself. I hate you. I'm gonna pick the gingerbread man. 10 next. Coming in

at one end of my rankings. And I'm going to tell you right now, it's not the top end. Why did you pick this one? Have you not had these either? Yeah, why'd you pick this one? I've had these before. I hate gingerbread.

Gingerbread cookies, not my thing at all. Are these soft? Because I've never had these. Okay, yeah, that's bad. Gingerbread cookies should not be soft. Gingerbread cookies should not be soft. Gingerbread cookies should not be soft. My grandma is literally the queen of baking. Just southern cooking, butter, butter, butter, as much fat as you can stuff into cookies.

She makes gingerbread cookies. I hate them. And I feel really bad because every year she offers them. And she always does these really intricate designs with icing and stuff on them i literally have to just get a glass of milk and just gulp it down yeah i'm looking at these these look dry as hell too these these look terrible dude okay one first off you just don't like your grandma's cooking you like little debbie more cat three zach's never had them so i don't care about your opinion four everyone knows take them out of the packaging and you just do the shrek not the gumdrop buttons

you just torture them you just break off a leg eat a leg break off arm eat arm great way to play with your food also get a snack they're soft soft is the plus who wants to have like a rock hard gingerbread piece from like a created gingerbread house from like christmas you don't actually end up gingerbread is made not to be crunchy gingerbread houses they are crunchy otherwise they fall down it's simple architecture yeah gingerbread in houses is made to be rock hard because it's just there to quote unquote be edible but no one actually eats it but when you make actual cookies you make them soft so they're actually decent no one wants a brittle hard crumbly cookie you want a soft one

i mean these ones are great i would just like to say that every time i've made a gingerbread man a gingerbread man cookie um he's always rock hard like just huge fucking like tripod like everyone's like why does your gingerbread man have three legs it's like that ain't a leg sweetheart um what's your gingerbread man's cream ratio though oh don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to also uh these are the fact that we chose the fucking gingerbread men over fig bars is a crime against humanity fig bars are delicious the fact that those were on the list is criminal. What the fuck is a fig bar? It's like a Fig Newton, but it's like a Little Debbie version.

Hey, I sent this list to you and I said we can change out anything and none of you said a word. I didn't mind the list. Where did you rank it? It's five. Because there's things that are better, but there's a lot of things that are worse. These are great. Had them all the time for Christmas.

Throw them in the lunch. Burn. They're actually really good. You didn't bake regular cookies. You didn't say anything about this. You just said that you liked other ones better. I said how you eat it, and I said it's soft.

I'm just kidding. I'm just being an asshole. Also, I really did not think about, with any of my rankings, how I eat them affecting my rankings at all i did i did not know that was going to be on our on our scale and hey you know scale however you want that's fine i need i need just need one of all of these in front of me so that i can pick how i'm gonna eat it and just get judged by burn by it all right rooks pick one um only four left let's go oh let's go spin wheels the little cinnamon

buns nine next and for me for me they're six i just or can i count or no they're seven shit um they're seven for me like it's just because the three things under it I think are shittier. But the spin wheels, there's just not really, you know. Do you not like cinnamon rolls? I do like cinnamon rolls. And these don't do cinnamon rolls any justice. They're just not. They're a little just.

It's a swing and a miss for me. Just not enough. Especially because I like my cinnamon rolls. The first cinnamon and this is kind of like like me getting like spoiled but like first cinnamon rolls i had were like the big fat juicy like double cheeked up cinnabon cinnabons just covered in shit you know what i'm saying after that in having one of these i I was just disappointed. It was just straight disappointment on my face. The Cinnabon, those things knew that I was mad at it.

It cowered away from me as I was biting into it. It was just not good. What's right below and right above this one in your ranking? Right below is Oatmeal Green Pies. And then right above is Swiss Rolls. Swiss Rolls has to be so much higher than that man and i i feel like that list is a one number one number five and number 10 and you just skipped all the other ones no like i have reasons for all this though like what's in front of swiss rolls is i get it i get into it has a special place in my heart um all right zach

why nine you've never had them uh because i don't like cinnamon rolls and if i don't like regular cinnamon rolls i'm definitely not gonna like the little debbie's cinnamon rolls that are coming in a package so all right so we're not let's not talk a little debbie for a second why do you not like regular cinnamon rolls i don't i don't know it's just the the best thing about the cinnamon roll is the frosting they put on top of that and that's when that's the best part when that's not even in the name of your ink like the name of your breakfast food it's not you know frosted cinnamon roll or cinnamon roll with frosting they just call it cinnamon roll and when i'm just scraping the frosting off because it's the only edible part not a great look for your breakfast item or your dessert whatever you eat it first off if you don't think that the middle

of the cinnamon roll is the best part of the cinnamon roll oh you live on another planet my guy apparently zach only likes crunchy food i like oatmeal cream pies my guy i ranked them oatmeal cream pies number three the center of a cinnamon roll makes me want an oatmeal cream pie, my guy. That shit is so bomb. It is so good. Come on, man. Nah. The icing is better than the center of a cinnamon roll?

Yep. The soft gooey goodness? Come on, man. The amount of times I've tried to steal the icing when my mom was making the Pillsbury cinnamon rolls and just suck it out of the package. You need to use my fingers and my toes to count the number of times anyways uh so I agree like the outside bit of these cinnamon rolls is tastes like cement it's horrible but you get through that part to the center like the last two three spins on it

incredible so you know gotta really work for the food, but also a unique way you can eat it. You just unroll the whole thing, eat it like a fruit by the foot. It just gets better as you go. Why do you like eating so many of these foods like a fruit by the foot when they're not meant to be? If you roll something up, I'm going to unroll it. Pass it around a blunt.

Pass it around a blunt, it gets to burn. Burn unravels it wow this is fascinating quickest way to get uninvited to a party is just like look I unravel all of this

and eat it right hey oh shit whatever but I have that above cosmic brownies because cosmic brownies

are garbage so I can't believe you have this above cosmic brownies that's blasphemy they're overrated it's just fudge it's one flavor it's too much all at once can't handle it all right we got two left we'll save one for the last because we know which one that one oh yeah uh so honey bun i know rooks loves these honey but i feel like you put it you ranked it way lower

than it should have been so zach have you had one of these before in your life thank you you have to have had a honey bun at some point in your life like you i don't the amount of different people i've seen munching on a honey bun throughout my years in schools is just everyone has had a honey bun honey bun brings cultures together and nothing hit harder you know i eat my lunch during the day i got practice later um i need something in my gullet you know i need some i need some carbs i go get a one dollar honey bun on the vending machine little fist in my butt i'm ready to go dude i get a little kick we're we're vibing um a little fist in your butt ew that's disgusting anyway um but yeah i like i the the nostalgia for the nostalgia

of the honey bun is why honey bun for me is number five like honey buns were always always the vending machine go-to for me for the longest fucking time and yeah i go to camps i go to like all these summer camps and vending machine you got money for the vending machine at summer camp everyone's gonna be your boy i was always at the vending machine getting honey buns everybody else was just chatting me up man i was a hot fucking commodity i got my little change bag of quarters it was it was a great time but honey buns i mean themselves flavor wise they're yeah they're fine that's why it's my number five you know it's fine but for me for me honey bun is straight nostalgic value a lot of a lot of times you know dealing with tough things

as a child man this kid just yelled at me in the hallway i'm a patrol he can't do that man i need to go get a fucking honey bun wait we definitely now that i'm thinking about it we definitely didn't have vending machines in our elementary school but it's fine um i think we might have had one but it was like it had like chips and like no one actually used it because who had money when you're in third grade that's true that's true um shit i might have i got a fucking guap baby um but yeah i honey buns number five for me i'm fucking rambling i'm going down my little rabbit hole of stories what do y'all got it i expect to do have it higher

because i've seen you eat more honey buns than anything else on this list but i respect it because i have it at number six right above spin wheels but right below gingerbread men because it is like one flavor it's just kind of like bread with icing on it so like i don't know yeah but the best part to it all the little crevices where there's like a giant chunks of icing best part also just like eight other things in this list you can unroll it eat it bit by bit my fucking god man we gotta we gotta have a video of just like you mapping out how to how you eat all of these just step by step i'll show you the x's and O's. I'll get a little laser pointer. How

Bern eats post-its flowchart. First, does it have rolls? Big fucking bold letters. Unroll it. Unroll it entirely. It's right next to the Sandra Bullock flowchart.

Yeah. We're gonna make merch, man man we need two big posters i buy both of those posters and hang them up deal got it uh for me not much else to say uh it's number five for me so right in the middle uh only thing i'll add is the only one on this list where it's significantly better if you microwave it for like 30 seconds. So you microwave that. It's delicious. I feel like everyone on the list would be better if you microwaved it. None of them would be better if you microwaved it besides the honey bun.

Why not? Dude, if you microwaved a cosmic brownie or a zebra cake or literally a Swiss roll, I don't want to go down the whole list but all of these would be infinitely worse except for the honey bun if you microwave them get them a little bit melty it's not bad the honey bun is literally just icing on bread like to your point so it's like if you melt that it's just it's i think if you melt it more turns into more

of a breakfast item than a it turns into a cinnamon roll which is act doesn't like there is zero cinnamon on it oh but there's a lot of icing on it. Alright, let's get to the one everyone wants to talk about. Alright. The Battle of the Ball. Nutty Bars. Or Nutty Buddies. Whatever we end up actually calling them. Should we all say it at the same time? Depending on our ranking?

I mean, I would just, you know, I would like to take the lead on this one. Rock and all, say it on three. Okay, we can. Zach, count us down. Three, two, one, seven.

One. One. One. You have this at seven? Are you on fucking crack cocaine? Oh my fucking God. That is a disgrace. That is an absolute disgrace that this is at number seven for you how's it close to oatmeal cook it's below oatmeal cookies you have this you have this

in front of all the ones you've never had before yeah this is the bottom of your flavor profile this is the worst one of all the ones i've had correct oh my god you're such a stupid cinnamon or peanut butter what flavors do you like? It's not the flavor on this one. Remember how we talked about, remember like, I feel like the past couple episodes, we talked about how much sawdust could you put in a food item and not recognize it? You could make,

you could turn this all into sawdust and cover it with chocolate and you wouldn't know the difference. It is. Exactly. It's great. It is terrible. It falls apart. It is terrible. It falls apart. It is messy. It has zero flavor.

It is just like a crunchy, gross. It's basically like if a Nature Valley Bar had no nutrition is how it is. Sounds like someone who's never taken this layer by layer. Don't get me started on this bullshit. I'm not here to fucking deconstruct my snacks, Brian. You weirdo. If there's one started on this bullshit. I'm not here to fucking deconstruct my snacks, Brian. You weirdo.

If there's one food on this list that you actually, there's a way that people actually eat it weird, it is this one. This is, it's just not good. I'm tired of people pushing the nutty buddy agenda like it's some masterful thing. It is big nutty buddy out here. It is drier than a chocolate cupcake.

It is just disintegrates as soon as you take a bite out of it. And it is juster than a chocolate cupcake. It just disintegrates as soon as you take a bite out of it. It is bleh. It's not even covered in a lot of chocolate. I can see the wafer through the outlayer of chocolate frosting. Little Debbie ran out of chocolate. I'm just like, fuck it. We'll throw the Nutty Buddies through there and we'll just give it one last flavor profile. Number seven.

Are you finished? Are you done radiating the stupid bitch energy out into the atmosphere because man defute any of my points i want to hear how any of my points are wrong dude there are a few very few little debbie snacks that have multiple like flavor profiles being hit chocolate peanut butter and crunch all in one bite and it's not even like a serious crunch like that so comparing it to a nature valley where you literally look at a nature valley bar and it all falls to pieces is insane okay so let's just let's just take that and throw that in the shitter please secondly the chocolate

on the outside being a tiny little drizzle of chocolate you can't taste chocolate and peanut butter my guy you literally you got covid brother it's you're losing your sense of smell and taste you're out of your fucking mind are you kidding me it's peanut butter powder you don't like the pb kidding me you know the pb fit they sell at costco or protein shake that's what's inside of the nutty riled up right now i am so bad riled up i've never listened to someone high horse something so much and just make a complete shithead of themselves. This is unbelievable.

I'm not going to stand here. I'm not going to sit here and listen to you just bullshit and say this dumb shit about Nutty Buddies. Like they are the goaded little Debbie snack. There's no comparison. There's literally no fucking comparison. Name one other thing on here that hits the flavor profiles like this does name one oatmeal cream pie bullshit bullshit oatmeal that is bullshit

if you're walking into you know sometimes like 7-eleven they have these snacks out individually wrapped out for you to pick at if you reach down for an oatmeal cream pie over a fucking nutty buddy you're a fucking sociopath man you're fucking this guy stinks thank you thank you let's gang up on him because this is just unbelievable behavior i will not stand for this this is un-fucking-believable nut Buddies are number one for countless reasons. In the box. They're in the little bag. There's fucking two of them, man.

You get two busting-ass wafer sticks covered in chocolate with peanut butter on the inside. It is not dusty peanut butter on the inside. It is not sawdusty. The wafer is always choice. The peanut butter is a good medium. And then the chocolate's the outside if you can't taste chocolate and peanut butter you need a covid test okay so what you're saying is i get disappointed twice because there's two of them in there no you get to you get to experience something twice i'm burnt take take this i'm i need calm down. I'm on your side.

It's at number one. One, Zach's talking about crunch on all the other ones. This has crunch. Two, when did I talk about crunch on all the other ones?

The ones I listed at the top have zero crunch. It's not about crunch in this one. It's about crunch with One of your points for Cosmic Brownie was oh, there's those sprinkles

where it crunches. Those are like a fun factor. I get to push those in. It's like playing a game. It keeps me entertained. It's not about the crunch factor. All right, well, I can push my finger into this and play a game. No, don't say that.

That's gross. Dang it. Peanut butter. Love peanut butter. Nothing else on the list actually has peanut butter on it. Peanut butter makes everything better. It's not as garbage as you said it is. You can rip this in half scrape

your teeth down the side just get a mouthful peanut butter you know i've done that a million times i can't believe you dissect each do you really go layer by layer of the wafer in the nutty buddy yeah absolutely dude people do that's not just you're something else burn oh my god literally there this is the one that people actually do that all the other ones i feel like i'm kind of on my own this one people eat layer by layer and like there's one other like candy bar that i think is like the best thing in the world and that's reesey sticks and this is kind of a knockoff version of it but if you're gonna knock off the best thing in the world it's still gonna be number one on a list of other mediocre things how dare you put it next to

things you've never had it's literally last on your list i just want to point out slander i just want to point out that the top selling little debbie cakes number one oatmeal cream pies number two swiss cake rolls number three nutty buddy wafer bars so the people clearly are on my side so i don't know what you guys are talking about barely you still put the number two and number three like last on your list also oatmeal cream pie sells the most because they probably buy them for schools and then they go into the trash because no one actually buys them they just hand them out for free i mean that's dumb logic that is literally inefficient i mean you guys are fine you guys are fighting like you guys are just fighting an impossible

fight there's literally nothing good about it's it's basically little dummy was like all right we have this terrible peanut butter we need to use like we need a peanut butter option right so she was like shit okay we we guess we need a crunchy option even though it's better to have a good tasting thing than just to have a crunchy option so let's just take this shitty wafer let's uh let's dump some powder peanut butter in the middle let's add another way it's never shitty by the way let's add another shitty wafer another layer of powder peanut butter another laver oh and then we have the leftover chocolate that's kind of burned and just kind of like ah we have to do something with otherwise we're gonna chuck it let's just kind of throw all this in there and then just like shake it around and then you know

what because we're feeling generous and because there's not going to sell anyway, let's do the quantity over quality thing. And we'll put two in a fucking bag because we need to give these fucking simpletons something to make it seem like this is a good product when actually it's not. You're looking at it. Put this at 10. I was debating putting this at 10 because this thing stinks so bad.

But I couldn't do it because I hadn't had the other three. To really drive home how crazy you are. Zach, what's your peanut butter of choice uh right now oh it's skippy i but i've changed it to the skippy and natural that's all you have to say you choose skippy end of the episode you wrong. Why'd you play the song? I think he's the sound guy. End of the episode. My point is, you choose Skippy, Peanut Butter, over everything else in the world, and then you're saying this Peanut Butter's bad? He's hitting you with a mic drop. You know what I mean?

I'll play it a third time. I'll play it a third time. Now I'm just confusing the viewers. Everyone's like, wait, do I close the app now can i oh oh there's a talking oh but hey as oh man my fucking heart rate's up now jesus i'm not gonna be able to sleep i'm gonna run through my list real quick you guys do your so we have the whole thing i got got from bottom up, 10 to 1. Oatmeal cream pie, Star Crunch, Cosmic Brownie, Spin Wheel, Honey Bun, Gingerbread Men, Zebra Cake, Chocolate Cupcakes, Swiss Rolls, and then Nutty Bars. My bottom.

So at 10, I have Gingerbread. 9, I have Star Crunch. 8, I have Oatmeal Cream Pies. 7, I have Spin Wheels. 6, I have Swiss Rolls. 5, I have Honey Bun. 4, I have Chocolate Cupcakes. crunch eight i have oatmeal cream pies seven i have spin wheels six i have swiss rolls five i have honey bun four i have chocolate cupcakes three i have cosmic brownie two i have zebra cakes and at number one good old nutty buddy 10 gingerbread nine spin wheels eight star crunch seven nutty buddies six chocolate cupcake five honey bun, four Swiss rolls, three OCPs,

two cosmic brownies, and one to stripe horses cakes. Don't give it a nickname. I'm going to post this. Yo, I might change my rapper name to OCP. Yeah, you know me. OCP featuring Little Debbie. That'd be pretty sweet.

You down with OCP? Yeah, you know me. Wait, did I? Wait. Okay. Sounds good. Yes. Please post this so people can vote on it because I need to hear about how shitty Zax is. And Burns too, actually. Mine's the best.

Fuck everybody. What? Sorry, I'm just worked up right now and I'm just fucking throwing my anger out at people but hey burn if they want to leave a comment about this if they want to say something how can they do so in the description of every episode there's a link you can leave us a voice message tell us that zach is dumb please side with us or side with him i don't know we'll hate you too leave us a review raise five, and see you next week. Love you.