It’s Wednesday My Dudes - Ep. 42: Vertical Butt Cheeks

Episode Date: November 24, 2021

The females in the field report to replace Zaddy and Peej this week. They help ruxx get ideas on how to decorate his apartment by painting the butts of the Knicks dance team, we get their quick Thanksgiving top five foods, and we debate whether it really is a problem if you cant tell the difference between a muffin and a baby. Lots of would you rather questions posed this week. Rate us 5 stars and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Links here to follow on Social Media! and Find Other Places to Listen!

Rooks, what do you do here? I'm here for the giggles, man. I'm here just for the giggles, reeling us in when we say super inappropriate things. Not we, when Brian and Zach, well, I guess Corey sometimes too, say problematic things. I'm the one, I'm like the safety net

that catches us before we get put in the dirt. So safe. Rooks is the dad of the podcast. So safe. And it's a really weird role for him to assume I wouldn't say dad because like I say I don't say problematic things but I say strange things like I said

your dad says some strange things I said I would suck Corey's dick on this podcast okay I'll put it on air right now Corey if sean clifford wins the heisman i'll suck your dick yeah we have that really well you don't have to worry about that now so there's that yeah that's how confident i was and i was also a little hopeful but anyway um that's besides the point i think it's really strange like us knowing you knowing that you take took on like the dad role in this little thing

it's a very yeah bizarre yeah yeah at least what we would expect to be honest yeah i'm just looking out you know well so here's here's the breakdown bra guy just has a ridiculous brain and he'll just veer off in these crazy directions and we'll just make insane decisions with the words he chooses cory will start drinking in the beginning and then halfway through all of a sudden he's off the rails and then zach just likes to get a rise out of everyone or he likes to just create some ruckus so zach will say whatever he will say to create said ruckus yeah he's a total he's the instigator and then you try to like rain everyone back in i'm everyone back in. I'm the glue

just trying to keep this fucking shit together. He's Spider-Man with the train. And you just got one web on each three of us just trying to pull us back in. What a visual. What a visual. So who are me and Denise today on this podcast?

Am I... I wish I was drinking and I i was drinking so she's a child kristin you could take over cory's role okay yeah you have the same wish i was drinking go go go find a go find a beer call me go yell at your family to bring you one cream soda but here i am peach on the pod peach on the pod peach on the pod no you guys are the females in the field the title that you guys gave yourselves yeah we're here and you'll keep that title forever because we have nothing else so you guys got a report how's it uh how's it looking out there how's the world i mean the field is hazy yeah real dark real dark looks like there's a tornado about to hit this there's a storm coming

i got a question i got a question for the females in the field i'm scared and this like no this is just like a dumb question this is like this is a very childish question there's no dumb questions only dumb people oh okay yeah well i'm a dumb people um where the fuck like where do you buy art like like where do you get decorations i told you it's a dumb question have you heard of like etsy yeah or like society six yeah home goods so i just go i just go there and just like pick shit out like yeah and then how do i know what looks good together do i get things that i just go i just go there and just like pick shit out like yeah and then how do i know what looks good together do i get things that i just fuck with like what do i do how does this work

you have to go on pinterest right now you definitely need some art for that room you know you're sitting there like a little sad looking i have i have um i have two a mirror decoration i have or i have three whole decorations in here. And that's three more decorations than we have in the rest of the household. Actually, no, that's not true. I have one decoration in the bathroom. Interior design is hard. Figuring out what looks good together, it is hard.

That's why also Target has some great wall art and they sell it in sets. So if you're looking for like a little three-piece set you can just buy it all together they do the work for you now we're cooking with gas this is this is why i need this is why i need this is your role for us today ladies i need i need guidance in this field um yeah all right we're gonna make a youtube video you guys come and just renovate his entire room with whatever you want oh okay can we like can we use paint yeah like pimp your ride but you can you cannot paint my apartment that i'm currently renting you know what i've always wanted to do i've always wanted to just like cover my whole body and paint and like run into the wall so you get like the outline like a crime scene you get like the

outline of my body doing like a weird we get like trampolines then you just like jump on the trampoline and throw yourself at the wall and however you land on the wall and then it's just do you think you could really set up a trampoline in front of your typical wall? Like a small one. Run and jump into it and then hit the wall and just have that be perfectly practical and just work out. Technically, you don't need a trampoline because a bed can serve as a trampoline. Just hop on the bed, hop off at the wall. And you know what?

This could also be a really fun game. If you get a whole bunch of friends to do this, then you have to guess who's who on the wall and you know what you could also yeah this could be an also be a really fun game like if you get a whole bunch of friends to do this then you have to guess who's who on the wall yeah that's what i'm saying okay this is why this is this is why i'm here okay what the fuck are we talking about right now playing a fucking game where we're jumping against the walls of paint all of our bodies what the fuck is this that sounds fun the thing is i think you're just gonna burst through the wall like that's what i'm saying you gotta be gentle you're just gonna destroy it yeah you have to it's a gentle job you're gonna be gentle yeah gently slam your entire body into the wall it's a light leap off the bed into the wall you know just like only forehead and your left kneecap i'm picturing

kristin i'm picturing just kristin running at the wall and like your boobs just it's only my boobs and my kneecaps four corners you know i did i did not expect you two to just get this off the rails so goddamn quickly but here we are baby another idea another idea please keep going please keep going reverse and all your friends just paint their butt cheeks and then back up it's like when people paint whose butt is who yeah like when people paint like baby's butts and they make them it's like pumpkins and stuff everyone paints something different exactly oh man what all could you paint with your butt though like i mean the possibilities are

endless it kind of looks like no no i gonna... I'm gonna tell you right now, and I haven't even tested this out, but I can tell you right now. The possibilities for what you can paint with two butt cheeks against the wall is not endless. There are not endless possibilities here. You could do like a peach wall, you know?

Just make a bunch of peaches. Okay, so we've got this down to orange fruits. Okay, we have peach, we orange fruits. Okay? No Balloon poke poke dots Eggs Depending on the spending on the shape of your cheeks could be like When you when you push it like and you paint it what shape do you think it's gonna i hate that like i really i genuinely want to stand up against my wall right now and just push my ass cheeks against the wall and see the different feelings

i can get you could kind of it could kind of look like two eyeballs you know oh yeah two cheeks yeah the fuck that shit would look like eyeballs that are like perpendicular to how your eyes are supposed to be like they would be like tilted the other way wouldn't they what shape is your butt oh I'm now that I'm thinking about it

so are you saying like the eyeball would be both cheeks combined it'd be two eyeballs two cheeks you have a butt crack so if you'd be two eyeballs two cheeks you have a butt crack yeah but like but so if you're doing two cheeks like they're gonna be vertically they're gonna be long the vertical direction whose fucking eyes look like that who has vertical butt cheeks like two eyeballs yeah who has vertical butt cheeks that's so right oh my god like i just don't think hey i don't think this is the most

cake bless group here okay i don't think we're gonna get these nice round i'm a quarter korean you know i'm just gonna i'm just saying i've got a dog back there for the viewers do korean sumo wrestle jesus no no okay all right i don't think so i well wait what he asked if korean sumo wrestled oh because you know all asians all asians do the same things apparently you don't know who it is and you're korean so that's on you it's not on me that's on you i'm asking a genuine question i know nothing about your culture how did we go from from butt cheeks on a wall because look welcome to the podcast baby yeah they're butt cheeks a sumo wrestler's butt cheeks would take up your whole wall that's what i'm saying call some of your friends easy you paint the place with like three guys

yeah i just i'm i'm at a loss right now i don't even know how to respond where do we go from here you know where do we go brooks what day what day are you free for us to come renovate your apartment well next monday i don't know i next monday i'm probably gonna be pretty tired long weekend you know tuesday yeah tuesday could maybe squeeze it in but maybe it is wednesday my dudes welcome back to another episode of it's wednesday my dudes episode 42 cory and zach are out They're on their honeymoon. Congrats to the newly engaged couple. Newly married couple.

But we got the replacements. We got our niece Denise. What up, nerds? Ready? I'm excited to be here. Always willing to pick up the slack. There it is. We got Kristen, our not-niece, other female female in the field you don't have a title i'm

sorry where's my air yeah wait that's my intro that's so sad the not other female it's all late and shit now too that was great that was perfect the disrespect on this podcast is so prominent yeah what's up and we got rocks what's good also hilarious last time denise was here she had such a nice respectful intro that was like thanks for having me guys it's so i'm glad to be here and then it's like what's up nerd get fucked like she gets her own podcast suddenly super disrespectful got to her head so quickly incredible so talking would you rather this week because we had no drafts or rankings to come up with so we're just gonna throw out some random questions to each other see how we disagree because we've done these a lot on

zoom over the pandemic and it always gets heated so hopefully it does again always yeah i'm sweating until then be ready we do our weekly figure out what your week was have some thoughts tell us a good story but rooks start us off how was your week it was it was great the week the weekend itself was was a great time um did pretty much what cory did the week before where we rented a house with a bunch of people and drank out in the woods. Yeah. Great time. Shout out Deep Creek.

Shout out my girl Shakira. Happy birthday. Thanks for the invite. Shakira, Shakira. Please don't interrupt. It was a great time. And Friday showed up, drank. Great.

Saturday morning we wake up. it's a friend's giving on on saturday it's me and these two other dudes and then um my friend elena and she's she's making a corn souffle she is corn in a can right she's using the little she's using the the can of corn um she's using the she's using the can opener and it's really bad and she tries to use her finger to get the top part off the lid no that sounds it pops and she goes she she holds her thumb over the counter and just goes oh no that shit it looked it looked like a movie like it looked fake there was so much dude it was disgusting but so the three the three dudes we were all like watching her do this this happened we all stand up and go oh shit and like walk away we literally walk away from this just terrified luckily um

luckily her other friend ran in and was like what the fuck are you guys doing and she like she like um covered it and she was great um elena stitches right yeah elena had to go to urgent care and it happened at a great time it was like 7 30 in the morning no one had been drinking yet and then she doesn't miss any part of the day so like i said at the end of the week we would never want our friends to get hurt right but you picked a great fucking time to do it yeah if there was a time for you to slice your hand open and bleed all over the counter that was the time um how was she drinking the night before and got up at 7 30 to make a corn souffle how chill of a night was it the night before a bunch of us were up um well so it kind of kind of was like a domino effect i was passed out in the living room the living room had a big uh window inside so when the sun came up at six i was kind of awake yeah

and then yeah there was another couple who was on the other side of the couch they woke up and then people start rummaging around once people start rummaging around everyone else starts waking up there's like 15 people in the house so So, fair. So many friends. Wow. Yeah, so popular. My gosh. Again, if you guys could please stop interrupting me, that'd be fantastic. So, but then drank the rest of the day. Great time.

Friendsgiving. Fantastic food. After Friendsgiving, I have the great idea as someone who hasn't smoked weed in months to have an edible that one of my friends offered me. Oh, my fucking God. Your boy has never been more high in his life. I sat down to pee for the first time in my life. I sat down to pee. I walked downstairs.

I'm like not really. I don't really notice it yet. I walk downstairs. I sit down on the toilet. I start peeing. I'm just like staring off into space. And then I come to you and I'm like, what, I don't really notice it yet. I walk downstairs. I sit down on the toilet. I start peeing. I'm just like staring off into space. And then I come to and I'm like, what am I doing right now? What is happening?

And then I stand up and I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are sealed fucking shut. Like my eyes are so bloodshot. I was like, oh my God, I'm baked as fuck. I was like just laying on the couch for an hour and a half. My friends were just laughing at me. I just couldn't, I couldn't focus on anything. But overall, oh, the biggest blessing as well we ran out of alcohol at

like 10 o'clock on saturday thank the lord oh my gosh i could we we didn't need it anymore um but yeah overall great fucking time came back sunday laid around on my ass all day. It was a great time. No cat other than the finger. No casualties. I'll fucking take it. Yes. Compitellios. What did you cook and bring to the Thanksgiving? Friendsgiving?

I was the chasers guy. I brought chaser. Oh, my gosh. A poor girl chopped her hand. No one wants to invite. And you brought orange juice i will just say to be fair there were a lot of fucking people we had a hell of food left over like there was so much fucking food and not for nothing he brought chasers and he probably drank 90 of the chasers

false i only had some of the i only had some of the sprite and no that's bullshit no i have no shame there i will i chase um but yeah overall it's great time um i'm gonna give it i'm gonna give it seven stitches out of eight it was pretty it was pretty pretty solid weekend nice pretty good all right kristin top that how many people got hurt this weekend um I did so this wasn't this wasn't a weekend this was last week this is last week I'm like having a good Monday like just got done with work right like I just I made myself dinner I was just gonna go um I was meeting some friends to go to my first Lakers game. Cause you know, I live in LA now. I don't know if you heard. So I was going to my first Lakers game and I literally was like, Oh wait,

I don't like that. I was playing music on my Spotify. I was like, I don't like this song. Let me go change the song. I was walking in my apartment and I had slippery socks on, I guess. I have one step like in my apartment. So it's like my bed area. You get one step down and it's like the living room and kitchen the one step I flew off the step

literally my foot went out under me I went into this like wall unit that I have my whole right side of my body is bruised I thought that I had sprained my ankle so yeah I got hurt I'm the casualty um the lakers game i had my foot elevated the whole time just leave me here i was really icing it with a bud light as we do um but yeah so that you said you thought you sprained your ankle not that you

did just i just i thought i did you know rooks was there when i did sprain my ankle and at fire flower a couple years ago i have very sensitive ankles i don't know what's good i sure was fucked it's so bad it was so bad i think i iced it with blood lights then too um but yeah so i was the casualty last week and then this weekend i flew home to new jersey i got in on sunday morning The dirty years. So yeah, I've just been spending family time, eating my weight and carbs. Yeah. Oh, and now I have to rate it, right? Yeah.

I rate my week 8.5 Bud Lights. That's my rating. All right. That's an average week for you, though. Yeah, average week. Pretty nice. All's my rating. All right. That's a lot of Budlights. That's an average week for you, though. Yeah. Yeah. Average week.

Pretty nice. All right. Denise. Three for three. Who got hurt? Surprisingly, no one. And I'm very accident prone. Oh.

I don't think anyone got hurt. What about your feelings, though? I mean, all the time. The kids that I work with hurt my feelings all the time i were the kids that i hurt my feelings all the time i was like before we started probably i was telling you like i was with a group of fourth grade boys who like they're just like the worst humans ever and so mean we were practicing the word roast because we were working on ours and they all say woast like idiots no just kidding um but i said if you guys can say roast with a good r then you can roast me naturally

then it was like a miracle they were all able to say it it was remarkable so one kid stands up and he's like missy lick my chicken nuggets i like, that's a weird insult, but okay. I'll take it. And I'm going to be using that now as my go-to. Lick my chicken nuggets. Then this other kid gets up, stands on his chair like he's addressing his people. And he goes, you got nice hair, but your face ugly. Okay.

Just so mean. I don't know how they think that's chill to say and like it's not like they're young enough to still think that it's like that they don't know what they're doing he's they were definitely old enough to know what they're doing and i'm like yeah okay and i did ask warp because i told them they could roast me, but like, I actually didn't think they were going to be mean. Yeah, that's so, you didn't think they would actually roast you. No, exactly. So that was just like, that's just every day of my life that happens. And then this weekend, Friday, came home to my parents. I'm just staying here for the week for Thanksgiving. And I got to my parents and I'm like unpacking my clothes and I realized that your girl didn't pack any pants I literally got to my parents house and the only pair of pants I had were the

ones that I was wearing so I was like okay how are we gonna tackle this solid uh Saturday I woke up I went out and I went shopping and I was like you know what I'll just buy another pair of jeans I could use another pair of jeans bought them I'll just stretch them for the week i guess and then it was my brother's birthday so he was like let's go to the next game big basketball girlies this week um so sporty so wish um no but yeah went to god damn it you just couldn't help yourself could you the whitest thing i've ever heard so went to the next game i was like this is great we'll drive back up to my apartment we'll take the path and it wound up working out long story short your girl has pants now um so crisis averted it's probably good the next game was great i had never been to a basketball game before it was fun 10 out of 10 would recommend to a friend very fun very fun um

it's very fun you should ask kristen about it kristen's an avid lakers fan yeah i am i was actually rooting for the bulls um so i it was the bulls versus lakers and i was texting zach before saying that i was going against the lakers so he was sending me fast facts on the bulls players in case people asked me oh Oh, my goodness. I was like, this is so loyal. Sounds like that. Hold on. Were you wearing Lakers gear?

No, I just did the all black look, you know? But that actually worked for the Bulls. No, I usually root against the LA teams, but what do you do? Sorry, Denise. I mean, if you could just stop interrupting, Preston, that would be great. Yeah. Sunday, then, I had a productive day, finished my Christmas shopping,

ahead of the curve, killing it. That was really it. What else did I do on Sunday? Oh, had some ice cream cake. It was my brother's birthday weekend so that's always a plus big event um yeah if i had to rate it i would give it three nicks city dancers out of five because they are great on a scale of one to lionette how good are they oh i knew you were gonna bring some shit up on the lion

honestly it's a close call i love the city dancers like i would have watched a full basketball length just of them dancing they are so cool you know what those you know what those girls have those girls have the perfect butts for his wall to paint wow you're so right i think rooks would be fine with that i don't think so man i just don't that's a lot of germs why we're in a pandemic oh my god you don't want the entire nicks dance team to come over and take their pants off wait pause real quick the same guy who has straight up bled in a subway sandwich is concerned about that was that wasn't during a pandemic dude relax brooks what i said colby's not spread through your butt what the hell's the difference are you a doctor you don't know that no but i know a nurse jesse shout out shout out

hey you don't know why cory and zach aren't here this week that's true could be butt stuff could be that's true wow also i totally forgot about friday i almost got kicked out of a bar on friday you know doing what we do the fuck what did you do i don't know wait hold on it's denise timeout. Is Denise's. Did Denise rank her weekend? Yeah, it was pretty uneventful. My feelings got hurt. I went to a basketball game. You ranked out of. That's it.

You ranked out of the dancers. That's what we were doing. Sorry. Continue. No, I was like, I don't know. The music was really good. And I guess I had drank a little too much as we do. And there was an elevated surface.

I have to get on the elevated surface. I see it. The downfall of every girl. So I went up there because everyone around me was like, do it, do it. And I was like, this is for you guys. And I went on there. And literally as soon as I got up there, the bouncer was like, get down or get out. And I was like, get down, man out. And I was like, get down, man.

And I just creeped down. But yeah, I got to shake it for like two seconds up there. You're my hero. Nothing has changed. Nothing has changed. Yes, I was a Knicks dancer up there. Not shocked. Full circle.

Bryguy, how was your weekend? Bryguy. You know what? I don't guy you know what i don't want to know i don't want to know yeah i'm good on this let's just go to the next segment all right moving on so we have a caller no screw you guys i got things to say uh i got up my work approved me going to ireland and working from ireland for a week wow i can do a podcast episode live from ireland wow it's wednesday my dudes goes international wow i have to keep the accent the entire episode yes it's gonna be great wow that's that's nice of them that's like the luck of the irish right there you know all right you have one more strike and then yeah this was this was a mistake so this weekend though

It's like light up night in Pittsburgh So like the little Christmas town downtown And all the trees and stuff Do you blaze it? Of course yeah light up night Me and you you got edibles I want old fashioned Did the Christmas tree get in Pittsburgh?

Get her out Even that one get her out Is there a mute button? i think in discord you can but i don't know oh okay i'll stop holy shit i digress so uh went downtown to like all the little christmas shops and everything saw multiple people getting treated by em, just like dropping left and right. Don't know what's happening. Maybe it was a little bit too lit.

People were just getting snuck edibles left and right, but people were dropping like flies. It was weird. Then the band American Authors was there and played a free concert. Pretty good live. Strange live. They have like,

they play their one song, Best Day of My Life. Everyone loved it. And then the next song they like rap. Everyone was very confused. Then they played a song that was like a Christmas song. I was like, all right. Then they played a song by Santana.

And then they ended with their first song again, Best Day of My Life. Super strange. They're pretty good though. Free concert, I'll take it. But then after that, they had fireworks because fireworks are a Christmas thing. Super strange. And they had fireworks because you know fireworks are a christmas thing super strange and they had christmas music like behind it but i think they went like a little bit too long because after like 10 christmas songs they just like put on like random music for like the rock station that was like hosting it so it was like 10 christmas songs an mgk song and then felice

navidad and then like another random alternative rock song it was just really strange what mgk song yeah after i don't do they all sound the same do you know the names any of them i love him bloody valentine classic it's a great song classic it's been out for six months it's a classic iconic song all right i'm gonna keep counting your strikes that's four we're gonna see how many dp get all right hold on i'm actually writing this down four strikes uh yesterday i saw the band churches in concert they're really good live you didn't see churches on a sunday missed opportunity oh god damn it is on fire tonight just shut shut up, Kristen. God, I love you to death, but please shut up. Oh my goodness.

I have tears in my eyes. Okay, I'm actually done. Bye. We all know you're not actually done. It's like... Sorry, churches, continue. So... It's just like five foot blonde like scottish chick that like leads the band so you'd expect it's like 20 year old girls at the concert and like no one else lots of dudes lots of old dudes there's like a group of like 10 dudes with gray hair in the center of like the pit just like

jamming out it was so weird just like a very odd mix of people that you wouldn't expect as soon as i got there i stood behind this one kid he was in a black hoodie black pants black shoes the back of his hoodie had like a big skull design and down the side said like something something the era of death i was like don't know why this kid is here but like power to him first song comes on takes off the hood and just starts dancing his heart out and i'm just dying laughing because this kid is having the time of his life and has no reason to be here it's great though it's the strangest crowd people have been cooped up in the pandemic for so long and can't see music that they're gonna go like anything and just have the time of their life

it was awesome highly recommend though that band's great. That was the end of the week, though. I rate it, though. Two ringing ears because it was loud as hell. And I saw like two concerts in two days. And that hurts my head. That's fun, though. Who needs to hear? That's all I'll say.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We got hearing aids for a reason. Exactly. Kristen, you got any more dumb comments? No, I do want to know though, did Churches sing Clear as Blue? Because I love that song.

They did. It was great. It was the last song actually. It was sick. Was it the Griffin remix? No, because Griffin was not there. Why would they play one of their songs? Why would they play a remix of one of their songs why would they play a remix of one of their songs that they perform themselves i've been to a concert where they play like

remixes of their song because it's like why would they but like why would they do that maybe the guy in the death shirt wanted to hear the griffin remix okay dude no the guy in the death shirt wanted to hear just the chick lead band singer lady just sing by herself he was all about it he doesn't need more dancey stuff he just needs pop for some reason interesting but all right so we have a call in which none of us have heard so far, even though it is someone's sister. So who is she? Our campus rep has called in little Sophia.

We'll see what the hell she's unhinged. What's up, boyos? I don't know if you remember me, but my name is Sophia Colombo. In the past, we've been in contact back and forth about the position of campus reps. I just want to say I find it mind blowing that a group of men cannot even send out a sabaro gift card to a college girl i've been told that you have a closet of inventory and even had an opposing podcast there make you t-shirts but hey i understand when times are tough and you can't manage to clothe others and profit off of it i just wanted to end off by saying that i've scoped out your competitors and i found better options you know what they say you don't know a good thing until it's gone well she lit you on fire yo what the fuck eat shit seriously yo you can you can dm us dm us

for inquiries man don't be putting that on the pod. Oh, my God. I think she did DM you and she never got a response. So she's going over to no one. I'm not in charge of it. Bryguy, what's going on? Wow. We've responded on Instagram. And we did say we were going to send her a Ziparo gift card. And you never did.

What the? The disrespect. Now we're just getting body bagged on our own podcast, man. Now we look like assholes she went right to the top i'm fucking sick i'm so sick right now i appreciate the call-in but like oh my gosh i don't even know what to say. We have an open spot for campus rep. Send your applications. Send your application in.

We will probably not give you a Sparrow. Send in your applications where we'll give you false promises and then we won't actually do anything for you promoting. Oh, man. You gotta give credit where credit's due. It's a great gig. Yeah. Gotta give credit where credit's due.

She is... She's funny. That was a great call-in. She is the funniest Columbo. She is the funniest Columbo. She's gonna come crawling back. I'll admit it. She is. She's funny. That was a great call-in. She is the funniest Columbo. She is the funniest Columbo. She's going to come crawling back. I'll admit it. She is.

She hasn't found another spot. So good. All right. Well, now that we got body bagged, let's just veer left really fast. Just play the outro, man. Let's get out of here. No, we got things to do.

All right. We talked Thanksgiving food last week.'s get out of here. No, we got things to do. All right. We talked Thanksgiving food last week. Kristen and Denise are here. Rapid Fire, five Thanksgiving foods. You're picking. Off the top of the head, either of you go. I don't care. All right.

You have three seconds. My number one is stuffing, obviously. I don't need to go into explanation for that. My second is any bread slash roll situation with butter i know there were a lot thrown on the podcast last week maybe not the texas roadhouse ones because i've never had those and that's not a thanksgiving food it's rolls yeah but no you're wrong. You're choosing roles. I just chose specific roles. Then I think, and this I know I'm going to get shit on for, I'm going to go strawberry rhubarb pie.

And I know you're going to say, you don't like strawberries. You hate strawberries. It is my one exception to the rule. It doesn't taste like strawberries. And I only have it on Thanksgiving. Does it taste like rhubarb? Yes. It's like sour kind of.

It is delicious. No. Have you never had a strawberry? It's so good. I have had strawberries. They're disgusting. That's why I don't eat them. My fourth one would be the pre-Thanksgiving macaroni dish.

Little back story. pre-thanksgiving macaroni dish little little backstory before thanksgiving in my house we have like a full italian meal it's like we'll have like meatballs and gravy and macaroni and lasagna and we have that and then we eat thanksgiving so that is at the top of my list what the how much food how much time is in between that? It's a marathon, not a sprint, boys. How much time is in between, please? Maybe like two or three hours. Two or three hours? You're eating a multi-course Italian dinner,

and then you're just loading back up for Thanksgiving dinner? Yep. That is surprisingly quick, actually. Bro, what the fuck? We eat around, like, we probably eat at like 12 like we have like all like macaroni and then maybe at like three we have thanksgiving so maybe three hours you don't just have macaroni i heard lasagna i heard multiple other dishes as well sausage meatballs holy shit you know macaroni macaroni Macaroni. Yeah. Don't forget the antipast.

Come on. And antipast. I have that on my list. Slash antipast. I have macaroni first course slash antipast. I have antipast on my list as well. See, she gets it. Honorable mention.

Then I drafted an experience because I felt left out and I was so I couldn't believe that none of you picked the post Thanksgiving sandwich making the next day with your leftovers Zach was eating turkey out of a bag

from the fridge he was not making leftovers I think eating a leftover straight out of a bag from the fridge. He was not making leftovers. I said sort of. It's leftovers. I think eating the leftovers straight out of the bag is more relatable than setting up a sandwich station. I mean, I love a sandwich. Did you ever watch Friends, the moist maker? They were on to something. Have you ever made anything else with the leftovers?

Last year, we put the stuffing in a waffle maker. A gingerbread house? And it put gravy on it. And then this year we're doing, yeah, this year we're doing, on Friday we're doing Thanksgiving egg rolls. So we're putting the stuffing in an egg roll wrapper and you can, like, dip it in the gravy. That's smart. You overestimate the amount of work some families do for Thanksgiving. I mean, Denise's family's eating 19 meal a course dinner apparently it's huge new jersey thanksgiving big thanksgiving

people huge seriously um all right so you got leftovers as four last and then um this might be controversial but i'm going cranberry sauce i love cranberry sauce on what on anything well actually i put it on turkey because i do agree with you that turkey is just a formality for thanksgiving you don't actually need the turkey so i put it on the turkey to make it tolerable and then think it's cranberry sauce is good and if you if you're one of those people who's like ew cranberry sauce like grow up it's good it's it's fine i just taught a top five picker experience yeah out of everything and then you're drafting from another like a full italian dinner as well so you have 15 times the amount of options that everyone else does if you forget cranberry sauce ryan went to texas roadhouse last week so don't judge me for my italian thanksgiving he also that was one item he also drafted christmas okay his pics are not relevant in the thanksgiving realm okay i did tell

him though him drafting christmas in a thanksgiving draft was the funniest thing he has ever said to me or in general in nine years of knowing him i think is the funniest thing he's ever said it was pretty great i peaked it's fine uh can we talk about cranberry sauce just for like one more second it's how weird is it to put like a fruit on meat like if you put like grape jelly on like a burger and just ate ground beef with grape jelly on it, people would think you're a psychopath. Not the people of Bikini Bottom. You fucking clown. It's based off of true events. Sorry, if I start seeing a talking starfish in sponge and I'm eating a burger with jelly on it, I think that's the least of my

worries. That's fair. I just wanted to get that out there. Kristen, top five. I feel like mine are kind of basic. Good, because Denise's sucked. My first one... That's disrespectful.

Stuffing was fine. The rest of them, horrible. Kristen, beat it. Okay, my first one. I i have to say do you guys eat ham on thanksgiving i'm so sorry i didn't listen to last week's podcast that's on me how dare you who would you say i drafted it ham is definitely my favorite life yeah ham is my favorite because i'm i'm anti turkey as well like i always have one piece for good luck you know um but i eat ham and then i can love it for him what one piece for good luck i feel like it's like you know you have to eat a piece of cake on your birthday even if you don't want it you have to crack the you got to crack the fortune cookie even if you don't want it just good luck you know it's a formality it's

weird you just got to do it exactly exactly you have a superstition for every meal in your life apparently correct okay so that's my first one then this is super specific to the confatello family but last year and we're doing it again this year my dad made sweet potato gnocchi with a sage butter sauce and it is that sounds insane like that sounds fucking delicious but that just sounds the amount of effort that must go into that is yeah it's a lot yeah we make them the day before so yeah it's gonna be it's gonna be insane that's definitely my second one um then i would say pumpkin pie i feel like i'm one of the only people who actually like pumpkin pie i like what are your guys thoughts on pumpkin pie thank god i didn't want to draft two pies but pumpkins up there it's the same it's the same thing for me

as cranberry sauce it's just like it's gonna be on the table but like the texture gets to me after a while but it tastes so nice i think i like am i gonna get pumpkin pie over apple pie you fuck no like you know what i'm gonna be more specific the crust to get pumpkin pie over apple pie? Fuck no. I'm going pumpkin pie. You know what? I'm going to be more specific. The crust of a pumpkin pie. That's the best part. Thank you.

Good pick. That's a good pick. I'm on board. The crust of the pumpkin pie. And while I'm doing weird picks like that, I would say the brown sugar maple syrup that goes on the sweet potatoes. You know? But not the potato but not the sweet potato itself but let me just scoop that goodness up and also are you like it are you drafting are you drafting the gnocchi and then the things that go on the gnocchi as well separately that's different i'm talking like regular sweet potato we do both the sweet potato gnocchi is like a little appetizer, and we just started that last year.

But we've always done like sweet potatoes with like the brown sugar maple syrup concoction on top. Got it. See? So my fourth pick would be the yummy maple syrup. What were you going to say? Macaroni appetizer. She gets it. Yeah.

Yep. Yeah, we don't do a full lasagna, but that sounds amazing. Then my last pick would probably be stuffing too. I mean, it's bread with this like, I don't know if you guys put sausage in it, but like that's so good too. So yeah, those are my picks. And then wait, what's this experience situation? Like a Thanksgiving experience that's our favorite?

Yeah, like. Sure. Yeah. Go for it. I love cracking the bone the wishbone oh that's a good one last week cory asked if anybody actually did that and we were like no we don't do that the most crony thing ever and i never win and i never win which is also the most christian thing ever so yeah it runs in the Compitella family. They gotta crack some bones. So I'm not surprised. Yeah, wow, that was fun. Okay. What's next?

Wow! Wow, guys! We just finished a game of fucking Monopoly or something? What the fuck was that? Now I'm hungry. Oh my gosh. Okay. So. monopoly or something what's that now i'm hungry oh my god okay so uh i know that you're all woefully underprepared so me and rooks have some would you rathers for you guys i have two would you rather there's didn't you're gonna i'm a professional podcaster please do not drag me like that i'm doing you a favor here i won't lump you in with the capitellos i'm

sorry hey i'm prepared though i have two quickly research i'll start with all right i'll start i'll start with a well this isn't an easy one it's just like not a strange one because my other two are a little little out there um would you rather speak every language fluently or know how to play every single instrument like well speak every language yeah i'm going the same well why because i think it's harder to and i'm not discrediting learning instruments i think it's harder to learn every single language think about the amount the places you could go like the people you could talk to you can like communicate with so many different types of people it would never be an issue for you there would never be a language barrier anywhere you went but like what if i don't like people and i don't want to talk to i mean are you wearing a scarlet letter that

says i speak every language you don't have to tell everyone that you're you speak it if you speak every language i feel like at some point someone's gonna notice and then you're gonna kind of be famous i mean maybe but just yeah i'm afraid i think it's more useful like playing all the instruments would be awesome but like cool like i'm in a band but like what else can i do you know like i'd rather speak to so many more people. One man man. Yeah. Ooh. Bryga, what are you going? So, my head can't handle

knowing that many languages. Like, you'd be, like, thinking in, like, five different languages all at one time. So, hypothetically, hypothetically,

hypothetically, I still won't be able to handle it. Nope. I know I can't. Even in this made-up scenario, it's not gonna happen. I don't think you realize

how hard learning instruments is, though. Yeah, so that's why let me get my next point. Just give me one instrument. I just want one. You don't need to know every instrument. Just let me learn one thing good. I'm happy. I don't care.

I'm changing the rules. What he's saying is like, you're taking the instrument one, but you're only going to really jam out on one instrument. Okay. I don't need to play them all. And knowing how to play them all

isn't going to hold space in your head throughout the day. Whereas I feel like if you know every language, you're going to see a word written in English. And through your head, it's going to go with every single language that you know that word in and i feel like language works i don't think that's how you're putting you're putting this really weird restraint on it that that is definitely not part of this at all but hey it's your answer you know hey when i knew like three words in spanish it really it took up a lot of space in my head you know

all right rooks so give us the right answer then what are you picking well i'm not like i'm not again hey i'm never gonna yuck anyone's yum you know i'm not shitting on anyone's answer here i'm just saying i'm yuck anyone's yum i love that phrase is that i love that phrase damn three to one get fucked buddy um i've honestly never heard it you've never heard yuck your yum who says that wow i do how many like 90 year olds are you talking to three people in this fucking call right now dickhole i don't care you could be three weird people i'll stand by myself i'm going um i i think i'm gonna go instruments yeah if i know if i know every language i'm not going to every part of the world in my life and there's this crazy thing now google

translate where i could just translate shit like i don't like google translate it's also there's also people from all over the world even if you're not going all over the world there's people from all over the world here you can easily run into somebody who doesn't speak same language as you which is which is true but we'll cross that bridge when we get there now what if i'm sitting there and i can make a music career out of me playing every fucking instrument and then all of a sudden your boy's got big bucks and then i don't need that shit i don't need i'll have translators with groupies i have people just walking around i'll have a gang of someone that speaks every single language walking behind me and we're just gonna be oh anybody got any questions like if you

if you don't speak english like my man's got you in the backpack there. Like, and then he'll pass it up the line, and then they'll talk to me. You know what I'm saying? My thing is that— I don't really know what I'm saying right now, but fuck it. There are musicians, though, who play, like, so many instruments. So, like, what would make you stand out? I could play fucking all of them, dude.

And so we're saying— But you and Schroeder can play all of them, dude. And so we're saying... But you and Shiro could play all of them. I'm gonna... Yeah, and he's got fucking racks, dude. But so... I would... The caveat I'm trying to say here is, like, that it's the same level either way.

So if you're fluent in all these, like, you have mastered these languages, for instruments, you would have to have mastered the instruments. so you're fantastic at every single instrument like i mean making just want to make some making sounds people never heard i'm gonna be like my band one song is gonna be like it's gonna be guitar and then vuvuzela and then xylophone and then a triangle and i'm gonna make that shit sound fantastic and everyone's gonna be like what the fuck's this guy's deal and i'm gonna be like i'm famous

talk to my guy in the back back there he speaks broke that's his language he's so he's supposed to talk to you broke people and then he'll talk to me oh my god he speaks broke yeah he said yeah i feel like i feel like rooks has his own language right we all agree like no one knows what he's saying okay yeah so if let's just do this now and this will be good for our sloppy joes sloppy james aka our viewers um if you guys have any any questions about the things that i say feel free to ask um so i have questions all the time off the top of my head right now, so like racks means a lot. So like, oh man. That's a common one.

Yeah, racks is like a lot. Bricks, if I ever say that's like, I haven't seen it in bricks, that's also a lot. A lot of things mean a lot, I guess. If I ever say sice, that means either help out or like if you're sicing something, that means you're exaggerating and you're you're hyping it up too much. How do you even spell Sice? Sice?

S-I-C-E. Wait, so it's like you said it's either helping out or exaggerating something? Yeah. So like your friend chopped her finger off and you did not size her? I didn't slice her at all perfect there we go that's fucking perfect but then other things um slapper heater that means good a good thing obviously that thing's a slapper that thing's a heater um yes denise i have a question um can you explain pitter patter let's get At Her? It's just something I heard in a YouTube video.

It's Letterkenny. Yeah, it's from Letterkenny, but the YouTubers, they're all Canadian, so I'm assuming they started saying it from Letterkenny as well. Yeah. I saw them say it. I said it once when I was like blacked out and then it was just every other time i drank it was bitter but let's get out of here like in that voice so um i didn't choose that life that life just kind of chose me but that just means like let's get

after it let's start carlos boozing you know let's start sipping yeah let's get buzz aldrin let's go to the favorite those two those two are bothrin's my favorite. Those two are both, shout out my boy Teddy. Those two are both Teddy-isms. I'll give him credit. So there's a basketball player, Carlos Boozer. So he say, yo, we're about to start Carlos Boozing. Excuse me. We know basketball.

Yeah. If there's one thing. Sorry. I'm so sorry. You don't have to man for us. Don't man for us. You guys definitely know this basketball player who like played years ago. He's not even a current player.

Yeah. That's that's on me. That's my bad. Yeah. Well, thanks for the vocab lesson. Appreciate it. If y'all ever have any other questions, feel free to ask because I know I say a lot of random bullshit.

That's all. Yeah, sure. Send in a question for anybody. We'll try to answer it like you saw sophia just roast us that wasn't even a question that was just a fucking that was a hearse dude we're just gonna put the trunk all right i have five would you rathers do you want like a a good one or like a really stupid one let's just start let's start out uh stupid however you like all right yeah we're going super then all right would you rather be a strawberry with human thoughts or a human with strawberry thoughts we hate strawberries here we love basketball we hate

where you burn were you on the the reddit thread earlier yeah yeah that's like the third one on the fucking thread i was like i am not asking this what is this wait i died laughing because like i read it it was confused and i was like oh picturing myself as a strawberry like on a plant just sitting there just like man life's crazy but i really can't move or do anything probably gonna get eaten soon but then also like if you're a human with strawberry thoughts you're just you're a vegetable you're in a coma it's your body you're a fruit technically you're a fruit are you shut up um that's six hold on i'm updating it six strikes i don't think that no i don't think that that

doesn't warrant a strike i thank you i veto that i veto that yeah we don't five strikes one ball we don't know that strawberries don't have thoughts we don't denise we don't we don't all right that's i'm gonna just vote uh that's my first strike for denise please tally that we're on the board but that's a have you ever talked to a strawberry no because they don't have thoughts maybe you just don't speak their language but if you chose to speak every language then you'd be able to the strawberry i got a strawberry in the back that communicates for me they gotta talk to him first i got a fruit guy i'm changing my answer can i talk to animals if i can speak any language in the world can i speak yeah no because if i can change my answer one

million percent i'm gonna have an army of squirrels behind me we're just gonna like destroy the world it's gonna be great don't i'm gonna go okay i'm gonna go i'm i'm being strawberry human thoughts i'm gonna sit there and just vibe all day like i'm gonna just be like man the sun looks sick today yeah damn that strawberry that strawberry next to me is thick like i'm gonna just be like i'm gonna just be vibing like i can't do anything but like at least i'll have some cognitive thought yeah i agree my only thing is no one else you're gonna die in like two days i feel like strawberries like rot in like 30 seconds but hey if you pick the other option then you never actually live in but like maybe science advances and they keep me on ice all right one strike for rooks fuck you that's not how this works i'm keeping tallies uh i would rather like be a

vegetable and just like hope they put my body on ice for a thousand years and eventually get the strawberry out of my head and put all those languages in it. Rather than just die in two days from being a strawberry. He literally didn't even pick the language option in the word you rather. And now he's picking it in a completely different scenario that involves strawberry thoughts. What the fuck is happening? He's a walking contradiction. Yeah. We make up our own rules here. It's fine.

That's a strike for you. Fuck you. Yeah. Alright, I'll write it down. Yeah, jot that one down. Yeah. Don't worry. Turn over the government. Overthrow. Close.

Turn it over. Paint its backside and put it up against the ball all right i have one strike rooks has one strike denise has one strike kristen has five strikes and one girl what's the ball strikes and balls it's the one Rookside did not agree with oh okay okay it's a baseball reference Kristen you're a basketball girl you wouldn't get that

swish alright Kristen you said you're prepared for this episode so you're up oh okay mine's a stupid one not as stupid as the strawberry one but uh wait was it that one oh okay mine's a stupid one not as stupid as the strawberry one but uh wait was it that one oh okay this one would you rather lick someone's eyeball or suck someone's toe lick an eyeball

boy how much we lick it and suck it is it a clean toe what's that is there it's is there a time on it like how long are you sucking the toe yeah how many sucks all right how long suckage on the toe and then how many uh i don't think it's like what's that what's that what's seconds it's more so when you think about it like a lick is literally like but then like you have to like the whole toe has to enter your mouth it doesn't have to be like a certain amount of time just the whole uh the old lollipop commercials where it's like how many how many licks does it take to get the sound like how many of those guys am i giving it like just one like literally just like touch my tongue and then it's done yeah i'm gonna suck the toe because i think that'd be funnier i just think it'd be funnier

i lick someone's eye like i i lick someone's eye everyone's gonna be like dude what the fuck's wrong with you like it's not there's no giggle factor if i suck someone's toe at least one person would be like oh shit or something like that like it'll get some kind of goofy reaction licking someone's eye you're just kind of strange my concern is the person whose toe you're looking is gonna be really into it and it's gonna like freak me out i'm not not gonna hey don't yuck other people's yums dude maybe they fucking like yeah maybe they want their toes to be sucked brother they're trying to yuck my yums and i'm not about that i think my yums are my own to yuck i think what we're finding out here is that rooks

has a foot fetish yeah i was just gonna say i do not live your truth like that's not again that's not to yuck anyone else's yum but oh my goodness man i i don't like when any i don't like when anything touches my feet like i'm just and i don't necessarily want to do anything with anyone else's feet so it's just i'm kind of out you know except you'd suck a toe looking at i feel like quick and easy yeah i would i was gonna go eyeball too i feel like that except eyes have so many like uh oh it's slimy oh texture thing oh it's slimy oh but like it's like a little tap the eyeballs yeah yeah yeah this is easy okay well easy i came with one my other one's got nipples i'll ask that one next perfect

all right find a nice middle ground in between strawberry thoughts and second i don't know if i can do that before i get into this i did get a message from zach he wants me to say r.i.p to young dolph don't know who that is oh throw it in there all right r.i.p. is it right there's a rapper that just got killed oh r.i.p oh my god so actually that is zach's coming zach's been coming in great these last two weekends filling burn's fun fact spots with things that are not fun at all he's just been trying to overtake that role for us it's been it's been a nightmare look sometimes you gotta make life fun sometimes all about the funsies okay all right denise go ahead i have a not so bad one and then i have a disgusting one that was actually submitted by my father so do we

want to go there yes no no yes please right now no we're just gonna go for it fuck it do it oh yeah would you rather have a baby vomit on you or vomit on a baby 100 times out of 10 i'm puking all over that baby yeah oh i don't know that baby ain't gonna remember is it my baby sure oh okay if it's my baby like sorry little egghead i'll dust i'll dust you off but man like you're gonna have to deal with this stuff like i'm sorry homie but it's payback if it's someone else's baby like oh my like there was one time when i was working i worked at a restaurant and i dropped a fork on a baby's head oh man i had i had i had some apologizing to do i'll tell you what i was just picking up like a tray and stuff and they put the little they put

the fork like on the edge of the tray so i picked the tray up over the baby fork may have came down it didn't like stick in the baby's head right now like it just hit the baby in the head but i the next right in the soft spot the next eight times i came to that table i was like hey can i get you guys anything else and also i'm so sorry for fucking up your baby um like it was just inserted in every conversation i had with them for the rest of the day it's great so much worse than throwing up on a baby i'm picturing rooks like fumbling a tray and then like a fork just like stabbing into me not jam into the skull of the baby literally though oh my god oh yeah i thought that one was just for funsies um also that's so interesting that you'd be more will i would be more willing to throw up on a stranger's baby i'm gonna puke on my own baby now with mine like with mine it's like hey man

like it is what it is little homie but yeah for someone else for someone else's people like people like hate you for that your poor children it is what it is their own father's willing to be like yeah come over here i can't find a trash can anywhere and then just pick up the baby my thing is i just i don't do well with throw up so i feel like if a baby throws up on me i will in turn throw up on them. Like I'll just, I'll smell the puke. I'll see the puke.

So you're choosing both. It's basically, it would be a, no, I'm definitely choosing that I'm throwing up on the baby. It's going to happen either way is what I'm saying. All right. For the first time ever, someone is choosing both options in a would you rather. I like it. It's bold. Bold strategy.

I'm just saying. No one says you can't say both but i don't want to say both but i'm just saying if a baby were to throw up would you rather suck their toe or lick their eyeball both yes yes correct where do i where do i sign all right who's next all right i got i got i got okay would you rather change gender every time you sneeze or not be able to tell the difference between a muffin and a baby honestly really set let it set in you gotta really think about the consequences for the first one we're saying like anatomically like you're you're changing sex organs yes okay yes

if you sneeze an odd amount so if you sneeze three times every no if you sneeze two times like i'm a girl i would sneeze i turn into a boy and i'd sneeze again i'd turn back into a girl i never just sneeze once so it really would be a non-issue for me being a guy for half a second might really mess your brain though. Kristen, you have a question. Are you aware that you don't know the difference between a baby and a muffin?

No. So I might go pick up the muffin to eat it and it's a human baby. Explain the second. Wait, what's the second option again? You are not able to tell the difference between a muffin and a baby. Oh, fuck that. I was picking the first one.

What the fuck? You go to breakfast at a hotel. Nice continental breakfast. There's an omelet station. There's a nice spread of muffins. You don't know if that's just some lady from down the hall, baby in a little baby carriage, and you're picking that up and putting it on your plate and walking away. But at the same time, why would little baby carriage, and you're picking that up and putting it on your plate and walking away. But at the same time-

It looks normal to you, but everyone else- Why would the baby be on the breakfast buffet? I mean, my whole thing is like- That's such a good point. If I saw a muffin in a stroller being pushed by parents, I'm pretty much like, hmm. All right. Sorry. And honestly-

Different example. Sometimes muffins and babies look very similar You ever seen a chunky baby? I was a chunky baby I've never seen a blueberry baby You bite both of them They're not that Drastically different

You could put a fork in either of them You eat muffins with a fork? I'm going the muffin one good i'm absolutely going with the first option like thank you you're if you go with the second option you're a nut job you're gonna walk in a fucking you're gonna walk in a fucking panera and you're gonna walk in the first thing in panera every time on your right is the huge display of muffins and other bread items you're like what the fuck are all those kids doing behind the glass back there? We got to figure this shit out.

And then everyone's like, ma'am, you need to leave. You're on drugs. Like, you're going to be a fucking crazy person. No, but I just feel like I would figure it out. Like, I would figure out that. Oh, wait. I think I've got. That's not how it works.

I think after a while. After a while. No. Of confusing the muffins and the babies, I just feel like I would figure it out. To pivot off of what Rook said, remember at Penn State the kids on a rope? Imagine just a bunch of muffins. Why the fuck is this person dragging muffins around right now?

You guys are thinking about it the other way too. This happens when you're a father and you have a kid or something. And then you end up just carrying around a muffin. And, like, you go to, like, church. You're like, guys, look at my newborn baby. And it's just you holding a muffin. And everyone is going to know you're crazy, too. Like, you're, like, watching someone give birth to a muffin.

Okay, I'm still going to the muffin this is funny it's a fucking blueberry the whole idea of that is like fucking my brain up because then i'm like thinking like oh do you think it's weird that your partner just gave birth to a muffin but then it's like this is all you've ever known so you don't think anything crazy about this and then you go into the you go into the um like parent the area where they put all the newborns it's just like wow these muffins are loud as shit like it's just like it's freaking me out like it's like it's genuinely fucking my brain up right now that's what i'm saying i feel like i ate it in a diaper i think you would figure it out it's not how it's not how it works part of the rules is you don't figure it out it's not you sneeze every time you sneeze you change genders but like eventually you figure out how to stop it

that's not part of the question yeah you don't eventually get your like what happens if i moved what happens if you know i'm confusing babies and muffins and then i i have like my sex education class in high school and then i learn about babies then i'm like you're a great then you're a again you're a crazy person because you're gonna raise your hand you're like excuse me okay don't we eat babies i see this textbook and it's explaining a newborn um baby to me and no one's eating this baby like what is going like it's just gonna you're gonna sound like a fucking crazy person i i'm keeping my answer. I actually agree.

I'm going with the babies and the muffins. Yeah. Oh my gosh. You guys are insane. I think changing genders would be super confusing. You both are gonna end up eating your children. I don't want a boy brain. You guys are idiots. No offense.

I don't. I don't disagree with that. You said you always sneeze evenly. What? I don't sneeze evenly. You said you always sneeze evenly. So I'd be super confused. I don't always sneeze evenly. I said you always sneeze evenly. What? I don't sneeze evenly. You said you always sneeze evenly. So I'd be super confused. I don't always sneeze evenly.

I just sneeze more than once, usually. So it's really a crapshoot, whether I'm saying the same or I'm switching. Because think about how messed up your life will be. I mean, I get that your life will be messed up if you're confusing muffins and babies, too. But think about how messed up your life will be. But if people think you're confusing muffins and babies too but like think about how messed up your life would be but if people are like think you're two separate people but like no one's gonna be super understanding that like all of a sudden it's not like your hairstyle changes and your clothes change i am the most open person i will tell all these fuckers hey by the way when i sneeze sometimes my dick will go like boop and just flip inside out and

it'll turn into a vagina like okay and that just happens when i sneeze like deal with it like i hope that like it doesn't affect you at all okay imagine you are getting after it with your significant other and you sneeze in the middle. Hey! That's tough. I got boobs now. You're welcome. I am the most dynamic lover that has ever existed. You're welcome. I'm fucking...

I am literally built different than every other person on this planet. You are welcome. Please never again call yourself a dynamic lover please clip it burn i'm clipping so many things if we had zach and cory on this we would all be in agreement i feel like zach would want to change genders he would be sneezing left and right yeah tell me i think

he would i 100 zach would zach would definitely want boobs, for sure. Exactly. Easy. Corey might choose the muffins as the babies. Yeah. I think Corey would go muffins. I'm absolutely picking the gender one. 110%. And it's not close. It's genuinely not close. It's the

right answer. Thank you, though. Hey. Whatever. You're back on the board. Hey, alright. Let's do one a little more logical okay all songs exist but they are performed by pitbull or only one pitbull song exists but it's everyone else's interpretation of that pitbull song being released wait wait wait i saw this one too rox i every other thousand percent oh sorry every song that exists is going to be dale like that's how it's going to start and mr 305 is going to do every song or everyone is going to do one like an interpretation of one Pitbull song. And you can choose a Pitbull song if you like that option.

And it's just the one song that ever exists? Yes. Oh my gosh. I want to look up his longest song. If he's got like a 10 minute one, I think we're good to go. Throw it in a bunch of different languages, different genres. You're not going to tell that it's the actual same song. If they're in a bunch of different languages and you don't speak those languages

though what happens i've listened to music in different languages i don't know the words i got all my language guys behind me they got my back um i'm going there's a strawberry over there with my brain in it it like it's confused on babies and muffins but like it's both genders so it can really handle everything yeah Oh my fucking god. I am 110% going with the second option. And this is coming. I love Mr. 305. Mr. Worldwide can do no wrong.

He makes bobs on bobs on bobs. But have you guys ever heard the song? He might just be featured on it, but please listen to the title of this. Have you ever heard the song, Whatagottapittasberry? Can't say I have. There's a song. What? And I'm going to look it up right now.

There's a song where literally the chorus is Mr. 305's going, Whatagottapittasberry. And it's just that over and over again. It is literally my favorite song by mr 305 oh it's his it's it's his real song um 10 million views on the youtubes but um you want that to be the song that everyone covers i want to hear everyone try to do his performance of that song i just want to hear everyone say what to go to pizzas berry and just see what the fuck we get from it but for the rest of your life that's the only song you want to hear celine dion's on stage

right belting it out and then she like just drags out certain syllables and what's it got to pizzas berry and makes it sound beautiful oh my gosh i'm in tears now because of what's it got to pizzas berry that's a good life i'll take that I'll take that 10 times out of 10 literally picturing yeah I don't think yeah I don't think I can listen to like mr. 305 do like twinkle twinkle little star I don't think I could do it

oh I want that that's I'm going that route I mean that'd be kind of tough I don't know dude going out any night only music music is Pitbull, would be the worst. That would be bad. Yeah. Every night would be like, you know how they play different music each night, but they

have like a calendar up on the side of the like bar. It's just Pitbull. Monday. Pitbull. Tuesday. Pitbull. Wednesday. Pitbull night.

Thursday. Pitbull night. Friday. Special night. Pitbull night. Saturday. Go get them free. Sunday. Pitbull night. It sounds. tuesday pipple wednesday pipple night thursday pipple night friday special night pipple night saturday go get them free sunday pipple night the calendar the first is just only pitbull the whole way through like it sounds miserable but i also don't want to listen to one song for the rest of my life you know even though it's sang differently it's still the same lyrics

that would get sold yeah but hey that's different language yeah that's like tripping me up i don't want to listen to the same song even though people really does get on my nerves after a while hey i'm just saying we can make like an hour-long remix of it it's all the same words but like change it up griffin could figure it out you know so you say you think they would play the remix at his concert though probably not apparently they don't do that probably not yo also i will i will send burn the link to this song and he'll post it on twitter for everyone please so they know i'm not just making shit up we'll see man what you got to beat us mary oh god it's a banger it's such a banger i think

you found your new outro yo yeah i'll clip that yes now we're cooking with gas baby let's go all right kristen redeem yourself hey my other one was good um would you rather have nipples for toes oh both of mine are about toes i guess would you am i the one with the footage um would you rather have nipples for toes or toes for nipples do i still have 10 toes but you would have 10 nipples yeah and that's the thing so you would just fall over you you need toes to balance have you has anyone ever seen the amanda show has anyone ever seen moody's point that man was missing one toe and he couldn't stand up like he was trying to glue hot dogs

to his toe and shit and that man couldn't stand up you think i'm gonna have 10 10 little nubs on my feet hell no i'm wearing baggy ass clothes forever dude oh yeah my nipples are practically toes anyway right now they're always hard your nipples are always hard i just remember that's like the one identifier about you they bust in they're bricks someone gets to pick which toe they are because like pinky toe versus like index toe versus like thumb thumb toe is your big toe big toe thumb toe um i don't think so fucking idiot you know what would be crazy though what if you had one thumb toe and one pinky toe okay i'm just gonna say we're not doing thought we're not going thumb toe it's not it's not what it's called okay what if you have one big toe and one pinky toe so your nips are different sizes and different toes oh i'm about that again i'm just wearing baggy ass clothes rooks talk about being a dynamic lover yeah that's dynamic love

right there oh my god dude i'm definitely doing nipples nipples for toes for sure you would like to stand up no i feel like there's a walk what if my but if the nips are hard they stick out more don't leave them in balance put ice packs in your shoes all the time yeah i just like always have to wear socks i mean i hate feet anyway so it's not a problem for me i always have to wear socks. I mean, I hate feet anyway, so it's not a problem for me. I always have my socks on. I think I'd go toes for nipples. You can cover it. Yeah. Guys, just chop them off. I'll go get surgery. I'll go no nipples.

No, but they're toes at this point. In the bathing suit, you're just going to have two toes. No, chop them off. That's fine, bro. Do you even need to cover them if they're not nipples you know technically they're just toes free free the toe nipples people would be way more afraid no one's gonna listen to that yo that'd be like a law just for you that'd be

kind of crazy low-key people just walk around running and there's just like toes. Get athlete's foot on your toe nipple. Oh, God. That's what I'm saying. I don't want toes anywhere near my face. Nope. Well, if you have 10 nipple toes, can you just like squirt milk everywhere? You just open like a cereal bar, just like.

Okay, just because you have nipples doesn't mean you produce milk. Yeah. I don't have milk ducts in my fucking heels now. That's not how that works. I've got nipples, Greg. Can you milk me? I don't know. She's putting it out there.

She wanted to know. Oh, my gosh. All right, then. Denise. All right. Round it out. Give us our last one. Make it a good one. Would after that eat a banana that's too

green or too brown neither we can't end on this one also this one should this one should have been your first one it's fine we'll edit it in post um you know i'm doing too green i'm doing too green also that's tech the texture of a brown one is really gross yeah it's like baby so sweet yeah i don't i don't eat bananas so i i defer i haven't had a banana in like 28 years i'm 28 years wait so what you said how did i not know they're disgusting i hate bananas because you talk about strawberries enough that that's our fruit topic quota for the week. Wait, okay. I'm a big...

Go ahead. I have a question. It's going to derail the combo. So do you want to go first? I'm just explaining, like, for me, like, I'm a big smell person. I've always hated the smell of bananas. If I can't get past the smell i can't

eat it like ever and like to this day bananas like even just a slight whiffington of one it's just like it's not like i'm already disgusted but yes capitellios what's what is your question so i said baby food and that had me thinking so you, you know how on baby food packaging, there's pictures of babies usually and on diaper packaging. Are you telling me I'm just going to see muffins on the packaging? Yes. That's exactly what we're You're going to be a nut job.

You're going to be on another planet at all times. You see like a Pampers box and it's like a muffin crawling around with a diaper on. That's so funny. You're going to think that the branding for Little Debbie just got really fucking weird or something. You're just like, I don't know. I don't know what's going on here.

Wow. They're going to ask you for like the little wrappers to make muffins and you're just going to bring diapers instead. People are going to be very confused. Yeah. I'm still keeping my hands on muffins. That's so funny. Man. I got a better one to end on. Do you want to do something about animals?

I'll just go fuck myself then, I guess. Sorry, guys. Mine wasn't good enough to end on. It was pretty tame, you know? It's an intro. Poop or animals? I hate poop. Animals. Okay.

Would you rather all cats have human faces or all dogs have human hands? What was the poop one? Just for reference? I don't like either of those. I think I would pick the cats with human faces because I hate cats. Really creepy.

That's even more terrifying though. With dogs, are they essentially primate dogs? Can they grip things? And they're fully functioning hands? No, I think they're dumb hands where they just kind of flop around. Oh, I was going to say, if they're functioning. They're just kind of like a sea lion.

I was going to say, if they're functioning, that's life changing. Like service dogs with real hands, that's sick. They'd they'd be even more helpful no we can't do that okay i'm saying cats can't talk they just have human faces i hate that so just picture rooks on a cat body come on i'm absolutely choosing the dogs yeah i switched my answer even the dogs even the dogs with hands were functional i'm choosing that one like i cannot picture ew picture picture one of the what's the what's the hairless cat oh yeah picture one of those with a fucking human face with your face on it yeah with your face like a fetus that little gross ass cat like well good like that cat is hairless but he still has like the beard and like like you still kind of dripped out you know but

um yeah i'm just watching i'm going that's geeks all right they don't get like my voice they just have my face and i know i made a quote for it but like i can do that you can't do that well all right i'm sorry that's one strike for me i'm sorry i'll let it would you guys rather fart every time you come or come every time you fart i thought we're ending i'm really glad to see that this is no longer a family-friendly podcast i know there was like one episode where it was we had we had our one we had one we went over the line so we had to backtrack that's yeah we went way over the line two weeks in a row we needed to fucking we need

a palate cleanse yeah yeah yeah all right let's say it again this will be our last one would you rather fart every time you come or come every time you fart no do the what's the poop one you want the poop one over that yeah that's such an interesting question oh my god all right this is coming up all right you're at a party would you rather poop in the only toilet there knowing everyone knows that you're gonna clog it or have to poop in the bushes in the backyard no toilet paper push poop in the back in the backyard i would poop in the bushes yeah no tp though yeah you have to go back into the party you're still gonna smell like No toilet paper. Push poop in the back, in the backyard. I would poop in the bushes. Yeah. No teepee though.

You have to go back into the party. You're still gonna smell like turds. I'll like, I'm not going to describe what I would do, but I would still do that one. I'm just like the, as someone who has, you know,

clogged a toilet that I shouldn't have. I thought you were going to say, as someone who has pooped behind a bush. No. Well pooped in someone's backyard but not bush um but please uh is that better well so that was so that was like i was in it was like high school we were like playing football and then we were staying at my friend's place and i went to his house and he told me where the key was but his mom had moved the key so like i couldn't get into the house and i was to his house and he told me where the key was but his mom had moved the key so like i couldn't get into the house and i was just like it's happening like this is going this is happening whether i want it to or not and then there's it was like fall there was leaves everywhere it was

fine um but that doesn't make it um no but just as as someone as someone who has like i've clogged a toilet in my day, you know? I'll own up to that. I'll take full responsibility. And I'll be like, hey, you want to go in the bathroom? My apologies, guys. I dropped the ball big time here. But I feel great now.

I'm on cloud nine. You want me to grab you a beer? I'll be comfortable. That's so inconvenient, though inconvenient though like you put the whole bathroom out of order for everyone else at this party you can pee in the sink or the shower oh my god i just who said are you making rules now yes if you go behind the bush i understand i understand you don't have toilet paper but you could make toilet paper like just rip off the underwear and use that as toilet paper.

And then go commando the rest of the party. That's not a bad idea. It depends on what I'm wearing. Yeah, no. Like, maybe don't use your thong, Preston, you know? Like, maybe use, like, your... I'm saying some pants I own, you know, they show off my guy a little bit.

So if I'm not wearing any drawers, it's just going to be fucking... I'm going to make a list. I'm going to be assaulting people. Are they going to say some of your pants have holes in them so you just can't really do that? Or it would be sneaking peeks left and right? How high up are the holes? What about you guys? I think I'd poop in a bush. Dude because like of your reasons because i don't want to walk out of that bathroom after

being in there like trying to like flush this toilet for like 15 minutes and just know if everyone's staring at the door and i'm like gonna walk out with my head down and just have to leave that party and everyone's gonna know you as the dude who just destroyed that toilet and left at least outside you can try to redeem yourself you know like dogs scoot their butt on the ground to like itch or whatever just do that on the grass done butt swiped good to go man what did i say what did i say earlier when i puked on my own child it is what it is man it is what it is okay denise four for four pooping outside all right for sure i think that's the only one we agreed on honestly rooks is the only weirdo pooping in the bathroom and clogging it for everybody oh it looks oh it is i thought you said pooped outside too no no he was

saying he has pooped outside yeah i was saying i've done i have done well like i haven't i haven't clogged i haven't clogged at like a party i've called it like a pregame and stuff before like it happens you know you're just taking dumps at pre-games yeah sometimes it happens bro like I'm not gonna go out clenching my cheeks the entire night and just being fucking uncomfortable like hell no does he have to reiterate

it is what it is you gotta do what you gotta you gotta do what you gotta do oh man what a ride we've all been there yeah what a ride well hey what a wild ride guys thank you guys for coming on we love you thank you for participating females in the field appreciate it they gave themselves that nickname they chose that name it's not us don't don't hate on us sloppy jane rate us five

stars sloppy joes if you're looking for some wholesome content on thursdays you can go over to no one knows anything at no one knows underscore pod on instagram it's your girl brian continue sorry and you can see kristin doing improv in la you just gotta stalk her and figure out where she never find me i was gonna say and if you're just like looking for some funny you know funny content just come over to like my instagram page always looking for some followers if you want to see a lot of italian food i don't have a podcast i just come on my friends podcasts and make a fool out of myself until fire rate is five stars eat these with no oh all right sorry before we go the strikes i have two Rix has one Denise has one Kristen has five and one more

thank you swish with that ball you know oh god on that note