It’s Wednesday My Dudes - Ep. 44: Cum Gutters and Elizabeth Warren

Episode Date: December 8, 2021

The boyos dig into the depths of urban dictionary to find out the definition of words like "cum gutters", recap our experiences from Pittsburghs largest Gala Holiday Party V: Staying Alive: V for Vendetta, and explain important topics such as why Kermit caused 9/11. Rate us 5 stars and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Links here to follow on Social Media! and Find Other Places to Listen!

Well, I had the pleasure of being hungover on Sunday and wiping the whole entire basement. I was telling Brooks yesterday, it smelled like the first down there until yesterday. Not a good scent. Like, it's good when you haven't gone to Penn State in months and you go into the first fully wanting that smell. When you go in your basement

to do laundry you get hurt hit with uh like 21st birthday first scent of beer and puke and what is it going to people going to war it's it's a tough it's a tough scent to have in your bathroom smells like knob down there i mean we put that thing through war that's for sure honestly down there it didn't seem too bad i'm not the one who had to clean it up most of it at the end but it seemed all right i feel like we've had worse at the one of the first couple parties at our other south side place since it's like so close to the street and it like snowed i feel like people's like shoes are disgusting where at least this one people weren't in and out as much so maybe more beer spilled i feel like flip cup's always gonna lead to like a stanky floor though you know what i mean flip cup

is always gonna lead to a little bit of beer dropping uh we were i went to some i went to some pregame a few weeks ago where we're in this girl's place and she has carpets and we're playing on her dining room table and I was like, oh, should we put towels down? She was like, no, it's fine. I don't care. We have a 15-person game of flip cup about to start.

You sure? Yeah, no, fuck it. It's fine. You're kind of ruthless there. That's what Stanleyley steamer's for plug plug it plug it now carpet cleaner thank you zach um they didn't even mention like table gutters or something where you just attach to the side of your table for flip cup and it just catches all the gutters and it feeds into another cup and that turns into the death cup jungle juice yeah the death cup i feel like i mean i love the idea i don't know how you carry it i feel like when you play on a rounded

table with flip cup it's the most painful thing because the cup won't like stay on so you gotta flip it so i don't know how you're gonna put gutters on there but i'm there for it you figure it out zach the term gutters an underrated term do Do you know what the V lines are called? What? What's a V? Are we talking about bowling? No, no, no. Like the V in a person's body.

Like I'm really jacked up, dude. He has the V going down. They're called cum gutters. Yeah. Oh, God. I couldn't remember what the first word was, but I knew what you were referencing. That's what it is.

No. Who calls it that? People. I couldn't remember what the first word was, but I knew what you were referencing. That's what it is. Who calls it that? People. This pod, brother. It's officially on record for us now. I'm abstaining from this motion. Boy. Who created that?

I'm not convinced that that's a thing. I've heard this term before. It's 110% 110 i think how do you use it in a sentence hold on let me pull up the urban dictionary definition quick you're gonna be country of origin yes damn look at those muscles pointing down look at damn look those muscles pointing down at that guy's dick those are some mean cum gutters you're welcome here we go uh cum gutters on muscular ripped guys the lines on both sides that lead from the hips towards the groin the indentation is the cum gutter um no i don't know if i want to read this first of all this was submitted by the taint specialist on june 7 2005 if anybody's gonna know it's gonna be them so since oh five by the

way um uh after here we go oh god okay uh after jacking off to completion jeff admired his seed dripping down his cum gutters and back onto his nuts why did you read that? No! No, stop the damn match. No. By God, he's bleeding all over the ring. God damn it, Zach. Fucking three minutes into this, Zach just read that fucking sentence. Oh, God.

We're going to need another family-friendly episode next week. All right, guys. We need to start submitting what we might even think we might talk about because we need somebody vetting this before we go hr approval and i realize this is not live and recorded and we can cut it out but we won't because we're true i don't have that much time on my hands i think this just gets us back around to the spunk tank put some gutters on that bad boy it writes itself we've not talked about it for a while honestly it runs itself what does that mean you know what i mean yeah it's a spunk tank and there's gutters you know that's from please explain uh no spillage yeah not a drop wasted

so it like when you get splashed into the cum right so the cum overflows into the gutters and gets filtered back into the tank yeah yeah reduce reuse recycle i'm so sad i'm just so sad that this is where we're at right now it's gonna solve global warming you know we're just gonna rox is so disappointed in us i'm so fucking disappointed in us we haven't we're on minute four now man and we sax already read a sentence that literally made me fucking queasy and we're back to back to something that led to us doing an entire family-friendly episode amen I think if we're on urban dictionary we just stick on this and we just we just go down this rabbit hole as far as we can go everyone on board I'm gonna hard pass everybody look up their favorite term from urban dictionary that's it's the Urban Dictionary episode.

Everybody has one. Okay, so I did just go to the homepage, and they have a word, like a couple words or phrases. The first phrase is just dog in a bathtub. And the definition is not anything sexual, just a dog in a bathtub. Nice. I'm going to start using that one. Use it for what though because it's is it is it like it doesn't mean anything i mean you said non-sexual but i can use it in a sentence um when my parents give their dogs a bath there are dogs in the bathtub thank you thank you hold please hold your applause thank you

boo no zach look up each of our names because there's always a description of like oh that's a typical person that wasn't that that was like a thing like a few weeks ago like in the last couple of weeks that was actually like a big thing that like people people were going back on urban dictionary and like doing these and i saw something on twitter it's like you know the memes are dry as hell when people are just looking up people's names on urban dictionary for fun i mean this is a thing in like sixth grade yeah like urban dictionary is big but i haven't looked back at it since so we'll see if mine has changed i'm gonna say i'm gonna try to find the one with the most up votes because apparently that's how they do it now on every day usually it's the top one is the most votes

doesn't it it this one doesn't but i did find the one for cory all right we'll start with cory all right uh i'm just gonna read these so we're gonna see so uh cory someone who makes the hair on your arm stand up when his name is mentioned he is a type of guy that a girl would do anything to fuck even lick a really fat puerto rican's ass crack cory walks by girls stare and if he says hello to you some people even cry he is that kind of guy that is so beautiful that even when you picture him doing something repulsive like taking a huge shit he is still an angel i would just like to say um cory great uh great uh self bio there. Way to submit that to Urban Dictionary yourself. Great job. Yeah, don't read the author.

If you're single, I would say make that your Tinder profile, just like from Urban Dictionary. Corey, my review. Can you send that to me? I'm just going to remind Claire every day. This is what you're working with, okay? An angel. When you walk by, she has to cry it says an angel i'm confused by the crying line in that to be honest it sounds like it's negative tears

not i think it's like in reference to his beauty oh rucks i hope they're all negative now i hope that's the only good one i know dude that's definitely tears you all down all right here's brian's again this is the one with the most upvotes okay uh brian an amazing guy he is tall skinny but athletic he has the greatest smile he is a type he is that type of person that you can become friends with and he'll still be in your life, involved or not. A Brian is funny, smart, and loves sports. He has the brains but often puts it off.

A Brian also has a special place in your heart. You'll never understand why or how he just is. There's more, but go ahead, Corey. Oh, I just wanted to say that last part, accurate. You don't know why he's in your life but he is accurate the other thing that is not accurate athletic that was that was one of the first three things no look i i figured it out i'm athletic i'm not coordinated okay i'll get behind that all right all right keep going okay okay Okay, here's one. Hey, I just want to say to Bri, hey, from the team,

another great submission to UrbanDictionary.com. Oh, yeah. Glad we're boosting ourselves up here and really just trying to, you know. You guys thought I had nothing prepared. I planted all of these. You're welcome. I think this is pretty spot on, too.

With relationships, Brian is complicated. He wants a relationship, but at the same time, he's happy being single. Girls will have have to do most of the chasing for he is a little shy with girls i mean i'll stand by that uh overall brian is amazing i hope he will be able to know that he is so important to me oh i just i just read what it said off there there's no way there's no way he says that was this all part of zach's plan to just like hype us all up and just you know zach had these notes just jotted down in his phone the whole airport just writing down compliments having his mind full of material from the weekend

dude i gotta say i remember all these always being just negative i'm shocked so far usually it's just like the worst kind of descriptions of each name if i were if i were to if i were to guess with like because the name thing was coming back up again so like everyone was probably looking up their name and everyone was probably you said there's upvotes on these now yeah this is the most one i'm just using the most with the most upvotes if i were to guess everybody looked at their own name and then when they found the most positive one they were like oh shit everyone's looking up other people's names i'm gonna upvote like the most positive one that makes sense if i was a betting man that's what i would i'd put my money on before it was

just the worst of the worst and it was great now this is too wholesome we're turning it around we're doing our disney episode again i don't think there's gonna be anything positive if he finds preston so i i'm gonna read two for press for preston so i'll read the first one that's the most upvoted but i want to read the one right below it um so the first one these all start the same the most amazing man you will ever meet he is kind funny, caring. He values his friends and family over everything and would do just about anything for them. He can be goofy at times, but he also knows when to be serious.

Preston has gorgeous blue eyes, perfect lips for kissing, and the dude is dimples in his cheeks when he smiles. Let's fucking go. He also gives the best hugs and is a great cuddle buddy. When you're with Preston, you won't want to leave and if you're away from him uh for more than one second your heart will ache for him his big heart

and outgoing personality makes him easy to fall for if you find a preston don't ever let him go it's actually why we created this podcast so we could see real at least one more day of the week the straight fucking facts y'all are welcome. Thank you, Zach. That was really sweet. The one below it is way shorter. It says Preston. The boy that is fine as fuck that will take your bitch, big dick, every girl will dump their boyfriend for him. This, you know, this started out, when we started doing these, you know, I was really nervous, again,

for Zach to read things off of Urban Dictionary. Now I'm super happy. I needed this. I'm in a great mood now. You need to get that painted on your wall and then do underscore dash Urban Dictionary. Just as a motivational quote for you. Paint it with butt cheeks, though, right? Exactly.

I should probably do Zachary because Zach doesn't have as many. Especially the way i spell zach yeah i just learned you spell zach with a k but your full name is doesn't have a k in it yeah right in fact yeah really it's stupid yeah right you just throw you're making up letters for your own name that's that's my that's my mom's fault uh but i'm different it it uh allows me to have a icebreaker like anytime it's like a you know an icebreaker in class i just use that yeah because i'm sure you couldn't create another icebreaker in life i just know zach spelled with a k like in his full name go ahead all right zachary uh zachary is one of a kind.

No one else is like him. He is an oddball. If he cares about you, he treats you like royalty. He won't let anyone mess with the ones he loves. He's charismatic and the nicest person you'll ever meet. He's different and special. He won't ever hurt you.

He has a bit of a temper, but it's best for the people around him and his own safety. A protective, harmless, respectful, caring, weird, wonderful person. You'll fall in love with him in the first three weeks of knowing him. Heart emoji. What the fuck?

Alright. Alright, well, alright. These are too wholesome. I don't have anything else to... This isn't good content. We thought we were going to break each other down. Wait. Can you search by most downvotes?

That might get us in the right direction i want to hear just like the worst responses about all of us can you search i don't i don't want to do that man i want to stay i want my self-esteem to stay heightened up man can you search what day of the week has the most posts uh yeah sure it's gonna be monday there's no way people work on mondays dude that's true to start a week tuesdays now tacos taco tuesdays you want to do it then it is wednesday my dudes welcome back to another episode of it's wednesday my dudes apparently we're talking urban dictionary uh we don't have a good plan we're gonna debrief the holiday party go through the bingo card i don't think anyone actually got enough to get through it uh talk some stories in

the weekend and just see where we go we got all four four of us, though. We got Corey. Welcome. Hello. Thanks for having me. Bonjour. All of the above. We got Rooks. Hello, puppy. And we got Zach. Bing bong. Fuck your life!

You see these dogs in your front yard? Like I said, we're going to be all over the place today, so bear with us. If we're done with Urban Dictionary, how's everyone's week? What's up, Brian? Take me out to dinner. We were all together for a holiday party, so other than that, if anyone has a story from the week i think one of the things we should talk about or at least mention each one of us should mention their

presentation that they had also also our you know our we could each do our uh our pov from the party you know what i'm saying okay yeah all right cory start us out what's your pov from the party and a quick rundown of your presentation that we did Friday night. Alright. So my presentation Friday was titled Kellogg's Untold. I forget the rest of the title. What you don't know

about your favorite mascot? Serial mascots? There it is. Essentially diagnosed all the serial mascots. The quick hitters Trix Rabbit pedophile obviously of course

Captain Crunch cannibal pervert well okay asterix they're all kind of pervert-y because they all kind of do chase after children I wish you just did pervert for every one of them Captain Crunch cannibal and obviously scurvy um tony the tiger was steroid use

there was the fruit loop bird toucan sam follow your nose that was phantasmia i think it was like hallucinations from like getting like smell sensory hallucinations i had to research that one and then the best one was uh the not the keebler elves shit oh snap crackle pop being schizophrenic and it's actually just only one mascot, and it's Snap. And he snapped, literally, mentally. He went insane. And he has split personalities. Point of view of the party?

Running around? You're the host. Yeah, mingled. God, that's really hard to recap um miss santa for the fifth year in a row uh heard he was great though heard there was a halftime show too um yeah who played halftime come on come on can you take me higher? Harmony with yourself. Wow. That was actually pretty good.

Yeah, that was fire. Fuego. Lost track of Cooper, but every time I found him, he was just sleeping. That man is a party pooper. That man did not jump on people and run around and create energy like i thought he would so we'll see once the other dog showed up he kind of became crazy so yeah millie rock his people yeah that's true um but yeah i mean that was it that's my point of view i mean 10 out of 10 party that's all yeah that's all i got i i prepared a lot boys this week if you can't tell going with the standard

10 out of 10 rating i see i mean it's just official ratings at the end it's a classic it's it's i mean every year it's a 10 out of 10 what are you gonna rate it like i don't even want to give it a goofy rating because it's just so good every year non-biased too big non-biased boy all right rooks pov plus presentation plus rating all right first off presentation absolute slappers everything i would change about the batman universe um came in hot at the start first bullet point was changing the bat bulge to not just having like a kendall bulge but to showing the outline of batman's tick um we eventually talked about a lot of different things in there um big ones was talking about the cast um there was uh there were some changes you know summer ray was featured as multiple

characters you know we we would figure that out when we filmed um doing a post yeah well well so she was gonna be cat woman because i mean yeah and then she was gonna be harley quinn because yeah and then um it would be hard having them both in a scene but i figured we'd do that old uh theatrical trick where they're just never in the scene together you know we're filming one and then we're gonna flip the camera and she's gonna be a different outfit and it's just no one's gonna ask questions it's fine um and then yeah talked about a lot of story changes you know a lot of different little tweaks to um the batman universe that they can make that i would love to see um things that things that are important you know bat signal fucking stupid why are we putting this singular light up in the sky why why are we doing that why can't we give batman a fucking why can't we text that guy

you know why can't we just hit him on uh him in the dns what's that one exactly there's better ways to do this that's a great point i just imagine the bat signal goes up and batman's like all right time to go out he's just searching around the city and he gets home it's like like 30 people have been murdered in gotham city even though it's like i miss it again it's like when he's always fighting in alleyways and shit like and i didn't so for the viewers um your boy was by the time we got back from being out and we're doing these presentations um a lot of us were kind of feeling it you know i was i was a little fucked up my a lot of my points that i was prepared to give a lot of my details just went out the fucking window and i started just yelling and just pointing at things on the board we had a pointer

too which made problems because i just wanted to smack the pointer against the powerpoint at all times um what are the points you made about the signal if it's not a cloudy day also you're fucked which i yeah i love yeah it's just like it's fucking stupid well and then with he's always as i was saying batman's always fighting in fucking alleyways and shit if he's fighting an alleyway like you're not gonna see the bat signal if it's pointed one degree in the wrong direction you know what i mean it's not It's not something that overtakes the sky. If it's tucked behind a building, you're not going to see it. But anyway, sorry you guys missed the presentation.

It was an absolute slapper. Soundtrack was by Levels by Avicii the whole time. That song played about seven times all the way through. I literally. the whole time um i that song played about seven times all the way through i literally so i i was this is this is the epitome of how drunk i was for this presentation i just added levels to the queue a bunch of times just because i wanted to make sure it played the whole time without a hitch the next day i was playing music when i was gonna take a shower i forgot that i did it levels came on while i was in the shower and then i looked at my queue to see how many more times it was coming up i had it after already playing seven

times during the presentation it played about or it had nine to ten more times listed on my queue so that was great um and yours was the longest presentation so you you must have had you know thoughts that this puppy was gonna go for like 25 minutes if if i went if i went and actually if i wasn't hammered and actually explained my details this would have been it was gonna be a lengthy presentation 45 minute yeah it was ted talk it was gonna be a lecture um but um but then so yeah uh great presentation i thought um went uh swimmingly sean evans is sean evans from hot one it's my alfred that's a lot that's what i'll leave you with um that's the best part of it it's so good you blew through that part and i was i really wish you hit that longer it was pretty

good absolute slapper um and then pov from the party party was fantastic it was a great time um played one of the one of the best rounds uh or the best couple rounds of flip cup i've ever played um my team was winning a lot people were kind of choking here and there if i ever choked if i ever missed my first flip i had five people just going rooks come on like it wasn't like it wasn't come, you got this. I had Denise standing over my shoulder, shouting to the niece Denise, just going, Rooks, what are you doing? This is bad.

This is so bad. Hey, let's build up our teammates, you know? But played great flip cup, you know? I was feeling good on the drinking games, played a little pong. Decided to go outside, play stump. Absolute dog shit. More like dump.

The worst, the worst the worst probably how long do you think we played 20 minutes 30 i've never i've never sobered up so quickly in my life the worst 30 minutes of any drinking game i have ever played ever i've never i've never not enjoyed a drinking game more in my life than us playing Stomp for 30 minutes. It was awful. But yeah, party went great. Had a fuck ton of jello shots. Shout out Steph for trying to kill me. And yeah, then in classic me fashion, every year around midnight when Santa shows up, I'm fucking in La La Land. I never remember what santa's there

and it's and then later i see videos of it it's like what the fuck when did that happen um but overall great fucking party cory thank you again for the hospitality it was fantastic i would give it um i would give it great great, hazy middle, ridiculous ending. That's going to be my rating. I like it. Accurate. That fits with pretty much everybody. Zach, POV plus presentation plus rating.

So my presentation was reviewing sad Disney deaths and determine if they were actually sad. That's so good. I had five, I think. It was a long time ago. But first one was Bambi's mom. Doe, more like die. And more like deer ceased were two good ones I thought I put on there.

So good. It's still so good. And so, yeah, so I think I concluded her death was not sad for several reasons. We can post the PowerPoints later if we want, but basically it's not sad. Cite your sources. Yeah, so, I mean, not sad.

It taught us about death death right the first first on death thing you witness as a child so bambi's mom a real one for dying first uh then i did mufasa also not sad uh he gets to be a ghost permanently in the stars that's way cooler than being alive um and he was kind of a terrible dad because simba always disobeyed him you'd figure like he would try to do better as a dad. So the world has one less bad dad now that Mufasa is dead. So also you said circle of life, the main point. Yeah, the main point.

Thank you. Circle of life. Literally the movie is circle of life. If he doesn't die, the circle of life mean is a fraud. Just Zach's delivery when he came in was so quick. It just, yeah, he died. Circle of life. That's a theme in the movie. Not sad. It was, it was so quick it just yay died circle of life that's a theme in the movie not sad it was it was perfect but also to a slide that had like 10 points it like comes up initially

that's exactly what he says just not sad and red comes across the screen immediately so good um uh the other two are quickly uh coral and her 99 percent of her kids from finding emo uh not sad uh you actually learned something that barracudas don't actually eat clownfish or fish eggs so i don't know what disney was doing with that so uh let's bend your imagination a little bit to imagine a barracuda eating fish eggs uh the other thing marlin sucked at keeping track of his one kid so let alone fucking 400 that he would have had he would have lost way more so i guess losing only one kid is better than losing 400 so um so yeah not sad um that it was uh carl or was it carl frederickson's wife ellie um, the only reason her death wasn't sad is because she got to not live with fucking Carl Fredrickson ever again

because that guy stinks. He was a balloon salesman. He didn't sell his house appropriately to make money off of the housing boom. So, yeah. Well, I think I said that one was sad. I lied. I think it should have been not sad as well.

Yeah, no, you had that one as sad because I guessed that that one was sad. I lied. I think it should have been not sad as well. Yeah, no, you had that one as sad because I guess that that one was, as with the other ones, I guess it was going to be not sad. I guess. It might have just been a copy and paste there, for being honest. And then the last one was Porkins from Star Wars

when he died in the plane. Sad. Or the X-Wing. Big sad. So that's a quick rundown. I thought it was good. I had to go after Rooks, though, and he was yelling a lot.

So I had to subdue my voice and I played life as a highway by rascal flats on repeat in the back. It was great. Yeah. Party was great. POV. I was the POV DJ. So was the ones and twos.

Cause Corey didn't have any songs queued up. So I had to manage the party. A seven hour long playlist that we've used every year. It's got to be curated to the mood of the party. Everybody's requesting songs. Literally nobody's requesting songs. You're like, give me your phone.

I'm like sweating. No one's asking you for songs, Zach. It's like, yes, they are. I had a great time. It was a lot of fun i got sloppy joed which is tough yeah i was hoping you would say yeah it was like two three episodes ago you're like i'll do it if we got one like so wet was any part of you did any part of you remember even saying that or were you just all of a sudden you had a sloppy joe in your mouth and you didn't know what to do yeah i just it was just before you know it i was face deep in a sloppy joe so yeah i'll never forget um we're gonna let that one next year we'll sloppy jania oh baby that's where the

meat's on the outside and the bread's on the inside i wish you could have clipped Zach's face when I said that. That was pure excitement. That was kid on Christmas excitement. Yeah, it was good. I mean, I had a great time. I'm sure we'll get into it in the bagel card. I would rate my experience. Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnny Ray.

You're such a fucker. You're such a fucker. It's so good. Brian, you're hosting this thing. Brian, it's your turn. What's up, everybody? It's Brian. How's it going?

It's very nice to be here today. I'm going to toss it over to Brian, who's going to give his POV of the party as well as his presentation. So, Brian, take it away. Thanks, guys. My presentation, obviously, it's about 9-11. I don't know what you can do anything else about. And about how Kermit caused it. Because in the Muppets movie, there's a timeline where Kermit doesn't exist.

What's Kermit's last name? The Frog. Okay, I just want to clarify. A lot of Kermit doesn't exist. What's Kermit's last name? The Frog. Okay, I just want to clarify. It's not where Kermit's at. Yeah, a lot of Kermits out there. Yeah, he had 2,356 siblings, so I'm sure one of them used his first name the same. So I got you.

But in the background, the Twin Towers are still there. So if Kermit never lived, the towers would still be up. So we'll never forget. I also have my idea for next year's call on this presentation call on this man right now so be ready uh sir in the bottom left corner just just want to give the viewers um a little insight to the start of bird's presentation burn is first burn is first up his fucking slideshow starts with the national fucking anthem and there's like 10 of us in the basement we all stand up i took my fucking hat off no one questioned anything we stood there and watched

like three quarters of the national anthem until everyone's like wait what the fuck are we doing and then everyone sat down specifically fergie i would say who's singing the national anthem yeah it was fergie's rendition of the national anthem too oh Jesus I was so excited just to see you guys see 9-11 come across the screen that's all I needed I didn't need the rest of the presentation I just wanted that there's one moment

and I was good you just wanted the collective groan of everybody in there I told a couple of you I was my one idea was just come up with a lot of really bad ideas and just have title slides back to back to back and be like this is what i'm presenting on and have you guys all grown and like oh okay i have a backup slide i'm gonna go to the next one and it's just be worse i just keep going through them so that's in the back of my mind um pov with the party was sober so i remember everything nice um but like cory and everyone said

it was great it lasted like twice as long as the last three years yeah i got to bed at 5 a.m so part of that's because people just didn't get in ubers and were right around because there was less people there i think weirdly because there was less people they felt the need to stay longer or they felt so usually katrina comes with like a group of 20 people and they'll stay for like two hours and then leave and so when a whole group of like 20 leaves everyone's like oh party's over and then everyone else follows suit but since there wasn't like a giant group that left at one time i feel like people trickled out way slower cory you had your hand up did anyone have any other ideas for the presentations that they would like to list out because i have a few yeah give us your special mentions okay um why colorblindness is made up uh top 10 top 10 white that was so good. I couldn't... So these are

things that I really liked, but I could not think of how to make it a presentation, so I bagged it. I want the other one to be like, why paralyzed people should just walk and just hate on every disability.

That's so messed up. That's fucking terrible. Reasons I think there hasn't been a social cause for snow women as opposed to snowmen yeah people make snowmen every year around christmas how many people are making some women zach i think it's tougher to put the hair on them like what do you uh this is one i had no idea how to go with it, but it popped in my head and I thought that's funny, so I wrote it down.

You know how girls at a bachelorette party have penis-shaped objects? Guys get to do vagina and boob-shaped objects. Ah, I kind of like that. There you go. I think that would have been really informative. You should have done that. Yeah.

I mean, it writes itself. And then the last one was, do animals have accents? Hold on, hold on. Going back to the vagina. You can't expect me to just gloss over that without asking a couple of questions. Yeah, no, I assume. I would argue that the phallic image of a dick is more consistent than the image of vaginas or boobs. So would there have to like,

would there have to be a standard vagina? Like, are you like, you can argue most dicks are just the same, like with a couple of variations, but I feel like the vaginas are mostly different. I mean, you could have a micro penis.

Yeah, but no, no one's going to want that. I bet. Oh, that's a good question. So like big dicks are better. Would you want a big vagina?

Females in the field call oh god uh yeah uh circling back to um what zach said yeah all of our dicks look the same so that is a good point like us four collectively like all our dicks look exactly the same yeah it's weird that we look at this weekend yeah it's weird that we keep comparing them whenever all four of us are together, just to make sure. No, it's like, we're done growing, boys. Like, why do we have to do this every time? But then, you know, I'm- There's so many pencil marks on the wall, just in the same spot, and we number it each year, and it just never changes.

But then I just, you know, but then it just takes me back, and I get nostalgic, and it's like, you guys, you know what? Let's do this. Sorry, can we continue? Laying on his back naked with his dick against the wall every night that's how I go to sleep

that's a little intimate right there you're getting detailed with it laying on his back are his legs up on the wall too is he forming an L that makes more sense I was thinking they should have to angle it over a little bit yeah

straddle the doorway. Yeah, something like that. So the lines for my dick would be... Because you were talking about doing measuring, right? Like you do when you're a kid. Yeah, like when you have your back against the wall. So instead of these being vertical, they'd be horizontal lines along the door? No, I'm trying to say they have to be the same way you do your height.

So you'd have to lay down next to the wall. We're talking girth only, right? Yeah. I would say, thank goodness we went down to the one area of Corey's basement that was unfinished in the bathroom. We all tallied our dick marks on an exposed stud, so they'll be there forever. So when they remodel it, they'll uncover it. They'll be like, where's this from? And then we'll have to do it again it's weird that i scheduled and created a holiday party around

this event just to have a cover-up of getting people in town it's true yeah uh so my last two my last two do animals have accents um and then the other the last one i wanted was to find the most outrageous like story from a recipe online. Because you know how people post their recipes of why they found the love of pumpkin bread and how they need to share it to everybody in the world. And it's about their grandma dying and shit. I was going to try to find an outrageous one and just examine it. But that took a lot of effort. Oh, you're talking about like we're at the beginning of the recipe it's this huge it's like let me just see how many eggs i

need yeah exactly you just scroll about how much butter you need and see if you have it in your fridge yep okay how do you guys like banana bread love it no no brian doesn't like bananas though brian like banana bread do you like uh nuts or no nuts I don't like banana bread. Oh, who likes banana bread? No, no, no. Hold on. Before I answer that, does Brian like nuts or no nuts? I like nuts. Just like sans banana bread.

You know? Is it sans or sans? I'm going to need you to just clip the sound of Brian going, I like nuts. And like, just that's it. I need you to just clip that and have it at the ready, please. You just clipped yourself, too. You can clip yourself to say that, too. Damn it.

Real Sophie's Choice. Sans nuts, Zach. Sans nuts. Okay. Did you guys have any backup PowerPoints you were thinking? I told you the one. I was going to be comparing porn categories to the McDonald's value menu. But I didn't want to put that on my work computer yeah yeah yeah you can't do that on your computer do you not have a personal one yeah but it doesn't

have powerpoint and it was too much effort so that's why i just decided to do a more family friendly one it's already corrupt with everything else that he does on the personal computer i had to hit the escape button a lot to get rid of the viruses so it was taking me a long time um yeah another one was like ranking the like american girl dolls if they grew up and how ratchet they'd be oh my god what just why'd that come to your head well he was staring at his american girl though their action figures cory i've always wondered how they would look like grown up for just for like strictly just scientific purpose you know it's like when rugrats had rugrats all grown up it was the biggest premiere of my young adult life or child life whatever that came out all grown up life all grown up life

my backup was you guys know the seven degrees of kevin bacon game yes all right yes zach yes no okay what i like to do with or without nuts sans kevin bacon sans laguz but i was gonna do seven degrees of zach's penis and connect like strange people to someone he's hooked up with and then one of the slides is gonna be like rook's mom and it was gonna be like a straight line just to insinuate that you hooked up with his mom fuck you that was my like my final slide and i was really excited about it. But I couldn't figure out how to fill time before that.

Because I need to know a history. And how to connect. Brian is doing the Ancestry.com. Of everybody he knows. That he has ever interacted with. He's downloading his profiles. Yeah that was going to be too much work. But it was going to be a good one.

But no. I have my idea for next year already so I have notes already Brian can't wait I'm so excited for it but last party thing we had our bingo cards everyone should have downloaded one

off of the link I got messages on it from our social media, so some people have them. We only had like seven things ticked off the board, which was surprising because we thought most of them were easy. We thought a lot of them were going to fucking hit, and man, were we wrong. Yeah. So the seven that hit were sweater vest, elevated surfaces, Zach does something gross, Santa shows up, someone gets iced slash question mark, and that question mark was specifically the sloppy Joe

because we had this planned. Jeremy carries a knife at some point, and then ice luge failure. What was my gross thing? I thought my gross thing was the sloppy Joe. Is that what you were talking about? Double whammy. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we can knock them all out

at the same time I'm just going to assume you did something gross too I mean I did kind of finger my jello shots a little grossly I feel like that's what everyone does though you have to finger a jello shot I mean that's not gross you get your finger around the rim

you're not fucking finger blasting you get around the rim. You're not fucking finger blasting. You get around the rim. Yeah. You're just kind of circling, you know? But either way, if anyone got five in a row, call in. We'll give you 15 minutes uninterrupted platform to say whatever you want. If you got five in a row on this board when only seven things happened, you're lucky go to fucking vegas you're the luckiest person on this planet i have two that are three in a row so like it could happen zach literally on friday we're in burns apartment

zach was on his phone in the dominos app planning out his fucking order. He was talking it up. I was so excited. I was so ready to order wings and bread and just be a fat fuck during the party. And then it's like 1 o'clock in the morning. I don't even know when I asked you about it. I think I overheard Brian say something to you about it. I was like, yeah, wait. What the fuck?

I asked at like 1 a.m. It was very early for how late we were. We could have had that food, digested it, pooped it out out and then had another slice of pizza by the time we went to bed but i asked i asked you about it and you made me seem fucking crazy you're like dude it's like it's too late i can't get it like man it's like dude it's fine relax i was like you were talking about this for two days and you already had your order input in the fucking app my guy like don't make me feel crazy i'm not crazy this is gory's fault for not having a a playlist ready and i had to queue all the songs and be dj the entire time that's it that's it uh i did order i did order dominoes when i got back

on sunday though i hate you that is such a go fuck yourself go fuck yourself. What does Santa mean again on the bingo board? Santa shows up. Santa shows up. Okay. What else? I mean, that's what I thought, because I didn't have it crossed off. So now I'm like, well, I had three in a row. I'm surprised.

If anyone was offended, if Brian offended anyone and you didn't speak up, please call in or write. I would assume he burn offended assume somebody i would assume he did i was in the background for the most part i feel like other people were offending each other enough that like i didn't have my moment i feel like somebody also somebody could have had bingo because i i'm i'm two away in two different spots so i's what I'm saying. And then the other one I thought was going to happen was a couple halves of the fight. Four out of the five years so far it's happened. It's not this year.

So good for everybody. Relationships are stable in 2021. People just don't have the time to fight anymore. Or everyone's single. So one or the other. Okay, I'm curious. What was your guys' free space? Because I was fucked and had your guys's free space because i was

fucked and had ambulance with my free space mine i think i'm pretty sure mine was santa mine was santa i i just have the board that i posted i i don't i genuinely don't remember though i remember it like towards the end of the night looking at my bingo board because somebody brought it up and i looked at it was like oh this is fucked we've barely done any of this i was like i'm just gonna close out from this page and then when i closed it i didn't have my board anymore i was like well fair but yeah great party do it again next year invite all the viewers cory give them your address. Sure. We also have to do, we have to figure out for next year, do you want to do, we won't remember this, but we'll have it

recorded. Do you want to do like July 25th or the closest to it? We announced the theme of next year's party because it's like six months away. Because we already, tradition, we plan the next year's party because it's like six months away because we already yes uh tradition uh we plan the next year's theme or themes uh and plan the title of next year's party during this year's party so we already know next year's and spoiler it's uh a tooth femur again so oh god fucking damn it did you tell me this? I think I told you the themes. No, I don't think so. I think I told a lot of people. You told me during the party. I don't fucking

remember. It's all about family. Get that Amazon account up. Start ordering those extra outfits, boys. I may have looked at an outfit for next year already. Gonna save us some money. Pro what?

I've got to go. Look, I have a lot of time on my hands right now. And this party is the one thing I do. You could almost reuse an outfit from this year for an idea that you had. This year was 70s theme. I was in a gold button down and a wig and a mustache i don't i don't know i'll tell you i'll tell you i'm back on board i know i got it okay i was about to say we might have to take this offline man i'm so glad you guys are talking about this

i'll give you five minutes back of your day um i totally know exactly what you're talking about man this is fucking the is fucking heater content. We'll circle back. I have a question. Zach brought up something similar like a month ago at this point. That you hate marathons. You think they're really stupid. Right?

Yes. But what do you think about running one mile every hour for 24 hours? Better or worse? I mean, worse. I'd rather spend doable, though. I know. I mean, do I get to train for this? No.

Tomorrow. No. You don't think you do it? I don't know. Do I have to train for this? No. Tomorrow. No. You don't think you could do it? I don't know. Do I have to run the entire thing? You have to jog. Okay. I'd rather jog for...

What is it? What is a marathon pace? For me, a jog would be five hours, six hours. Is that fast? Yeah, it'd probably be five hours. I don't know anything, so this is totally not qualified, but I'd probably say five to six hours. You're our marathon expert in the field, actually. I'm a 225-pound man that runs marathons just on the regs.

Yeah, no, I'd rather do the – you're asking me if I'd rather run for six hours or basically 24 hours. Or no, 20 – like, no. It's just – yeah, no. I'd rather do the six hours and get over with. In addition to the six hour marathon though, you have to eat a sloppy joe for every hour that you're

running. So you're incentivizing me to run longer or be slower so I can eat more sloppy joes. If you want to eat more sloppy joes while running a marathon, that's your decision. I don't think I would make that decision. Have you eaten any more of the bucket of sloppy joe you got in your fridge?

No. In bucket, great description. I have not. Yeah, that was the most absurd part of this weekend is, first of all, making a whole bunch of sloppy joe, which I don't know that I've ever made. I've only gotten at like school or like randomly and then it was during like when right before the party that we were gonna eat and like i made a whole thing a whole pound of it and then i just bundled up your sloppy joe put it in the fridge and then looked at everybody and said does anyone want any sloppy joe and And everybody goes, nah, I'm good.

I was like, all right, great. We were going to sloppy joe you right once you walked in. But then I was like, well, then you just get a warm, nice sloppy joe around dinner time. I'm not cooking you dinner. I'm going to wait until it's cold and give it to you at midnight. Also, like, so the timing of you making a sloppy joe, we're getting close to prime time. We're getting close to prime drinking hours. I'm eating Jersey Mike's.

I'm eating a nice chicken cheesesteak. Yeah, after I finish that, I would not like a sloppy joe on top of a cheesesteak before a night of drinking. I'm going to hard pass on that. But I made them extra sloppy for you. Now, if you would have asked me, did you ask later in the party? Genuinely, if you would have asked later in the party, I absolutely would have wanted a sloppy Joe.

You know what? I probably did it because I was probably like, oh, Domingos is coming soon. Oh, yeah, true. Fucking Domingos. Oh, shit. Fuck. My nipples are hard now.

Ugh. Sorry. Club fat too. Fuck. oh shit fuck my nipples are hard now ugh sorry fuck god damn it so another thing three of the boyos worked out and Corey loves jinxing parlays the only things I want to mention oh my

on his own game of the parlay this man jinxes his own game of the parlay this man jinxes his own game and loses us a nice little parlay the boyos put down it's wednesday my dude twelve hundred dollars we put down such we put down such a foolproof parlay all the boyos picked a game we did our research at breakfast we all had perfect games locks across the board and then cory just has to go and just fuck it up for us and he misses his game and it's just it was just disappointing cory cory's bad juju if you ever want to get a parlay like with the boys do not pick cory because he's he's the one game we missed

in our parlay that is so wrong that is absolutely what wrong. That's absolutely what happens. No, it's because... Bird, play the music. Yeah. It's, uh... No, I mean, his caused all the bad juju. Ours wouldn't have lost if his doesn't... It's a momentum thing. It's a bad juju.

Yeah, it's momentum. It's gambling momentum. It's a proven thing. Yeah, for the actual story, we went 0 for 4. All four of us picked games that uh didn't pan out um yeah it was horribly too but honestly though i just forgot like you were had the over in the oklahoma state baylor game and oklahoma state's driving and you're like ah they're probably gonna fumble right here and they fumble two plays later and they kick back because they were they were just down on the one and went four and out i didn't have confidence so i said it aloud they

were not going to get the over good vibes only brother we would never we wouldn't know but like you didn't have to say it you didn't have to manifest it they heard you i would argue it's pretty impressive that we went over four not better we should have bet on not better we should have bet the opposite i feel like i genuinely feel like if you go over four on a parlay you should win money like i feel like they should give you like your money back or something for just that's pretty good like being dumb as shit you know what i mean next time going over hedge your bets going over four on those games is going to... Going over four on betting is just as hard as going four for four, in my opinion.

Some may say you have the same exact odds. Exactly. 50-50. Either they all happen or they don't. Just put 10 on all of them to win, and then put 10 on all of them to lose. Easy. Easy money to lose. Easy. Easy money, baby. God. God damn it.

We need to have, like, Brian's pick-em corner. And he just does, like, picks for the weekend. Guys. Holy crap, that would be funny. I did so bad this week. I have a pick-em leak. I was in second place all year until this week and i went like oh for 10 to start the week on the college let's go flashes so bad shout out to them golden

flashes baby lost by like 40 points but everyone dude it was like 50 50 people who picked them so well then burnt picked wake forest that was your game right yeah wake forest got fucked dude in my defense it was like 21 14 they are winning at half and then i go downstairs i come back up it's the last play of the game it's like 21 to 53 i'm like what happened they're doing so well it was bad i need to retire but hey we're going to start giving out betting advice for everybody. Just in case you want to win the big bucks. You know what I mean? We don't do small little parlays here, okay?

We're going for gold with these shits. You know how people put disclaimers on Twitter financial thing? It's like, this is not financial advice. At the end of every bet that we give, we have to say, this is financial advice. This is actually financial advice yeah this is actually write this down we get one percent of all winnings and none of the blame if you lose one percent give me give me smooth 15 percent sir 75 of all winnings and negative one percent of all losings if they lose they have to pay us as well i like yes that just means they weren't paying attention they didn't actually listen to what we said they're gonna do why don't why don't businesses do this more this is genius

this is why i'm running for president next year you know next year good luck yeah you gotta start the campaign early man who's this fucking crackhead that thinks it's a fucking election this year? Bing bong. Bro. I'm gonna be on the trail for three years. I'll be light years ahead of everybody.

Elizabeth Warren, leave her in my dust. God. Leave? That's not the saying, is it? Leave her in your dust. It would be eat your dust or leave leave her in the dust yes yeah leave you don't have you don't have your own dust that you're just 80 percent guys guys leave you in dust yeah i'm gonna eat you in my left dust

now it's definitely you definitely just mix them change the phrasing of it it's just like the verb tense i didn't think that we'd have like cum gutters and elizabeth warren the same podcast but here we are who would have thought not me that's gonna be my platform and she's gonna have no idea how to debate against it you'd be like, Elizabeth. Come gutters for all. For all these people. This camera, this camera, this camera.

Oh, my fucking... All right. That's fucking appalling. We need to cut this off before I hear the word fucking cutters again. Should I tag her in the post no yeah she's getting tags disclaimer the next few weeks are gonna be ridiculous because your boy has a fridge full of alcohol that i have to drink through and i specifically only drink on this podcast we don't condone drinking it It's all water. Wink.

That's true. Stay hydrated. Well, all right. Everyone to vote for me next year in the presidential election. Not Elizabeth Warren. Everyone look out for Walmart. Cum gutter is going to be on sale by three. Get none free.

Rooks, you have a question. I would just like to say to the viewers, tomorrow is my birthday. So like when this airs, it's going to be my birthday. So make sure like you show me some like love on the, on like the gram or something. You know what I'm saying? Also drink chocolate milk. Chalky boys.

I'm on board. Raise five stars. Leave us a review. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram. And. Boop. Boop. Boop.

Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop.