It’s Wednesday My Dudes - Ep. 56: TP'ing a Jiffy Lube

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

The boyos go into this week with no plan and end up talking about how Ruxx has a GoFundMe for his stubbed toe, how Bryan is going to TP a Jiffy Lube, Zaks Lasik turning him into Scott Summers, and Cory getting engaged in a Dave and Busters. Rate us 5 stars and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Links here to follow on social media! and find other places to listen!

And here we go. So if you're in the Suicide Squad, what's your superpower going to be? It's going to be better than being able to throw a fucking spoon 10 feet. Isn't the Suicide Squad? Really accurately. All their powers, they all just kill themselves? Suicide Squad? I will say.

Call me Hangman. It would be kind of nuts if you could throw a blunt spoon hard enough to pierce somebody. That's more painful than you throwing an actual knife. You're talking metal or plastic? Wooden. Oh my god. Imagine plastic. You could throw a plastic spoon

hard enough? My fucking god. You got Randy Johnson strength on that arm. my god i thought you were gonna stop after the word blunt and i'm like oh that'd be good be just be i'd be thc boy honestly that would be effective that would be so the worst suicide squad member because i just get baked out of my mind and never jump out of the jet to to the to parachute down to our mission objective like god damn it he's high again but if you can make friends with everybody if you can make all your enemies high like that would be i feel like that

would be highly effective right like doing what though like just becoming friends with everybody not really killing anybody when people get high they're not just like oh hi you're my friend now no like you get these dudes trying to shoot you now their coordination's all fucking off they got the munchies they can't fucking hit you like slowed reaction time like i don't think it's that's the thing it's like it's like it's like um it's like you're like the grenadier you know like you stand in the back you do this shit like you're not going the front lines but you're sitting there you're affecting the other people throwing weed bombs yeah exactly you know like the back, you do this shit. Like you're not going to the front lines, but you're sitting there, you're affecting the other people. Throwing weed bombs.

Yeah, exactly. You know, like the A-team. We could all just be a different, we could just be like the drug A-team. Someone could be Meth Man, Coke Kid, Heroin Guy, Heroin Honey. Heroin Guy is a great creative superhero name, Brian. Thank you. Thank you for providing us with heroin guy. I at least was trying to throw some alliteration out there.

Brian's like, nah, fuck that noise. Heroin. Fucking Stanley. Stanley denied that, but it's an heroin guy. That's what we got.

Yo, what's off the talk? I don't know. I think it kind of works. Jesus. We don't all have to be alliterative you'd have the one guy who's slightly different so is there is there power like so would their powers be they make other people feel like they're on those drugs or they're just really really really on those drugs themselves so really

really on those the latter the latter and then i'd like to imagine every person that's taking those drugs now that's why they're taking them because they all just think they're superheroes there you go oh i mean i'm telling you like like i mean what's the like if you had someone on pcp like people have lifted cars on pcp and shit bro that'd be crazy pcp oh i mean you probably is that a lot you're probably od it's a gallon. How about the superpower is they can't OD on the shit. So they just take like insane amounts and then like,

yeah. And then it just like builds them up. Dude. That's like one thing it's, it's that and people's ages that I get mixed up is if I walked into a dispensary and they told me, what? No, if they,

if I walked into a dispensary and they told me, Hey Zach, this amount of weed is $800 dollars and it was like one blunt i'd be like that sounds reasonable i would have no idea i have no idea what the with the free market or the you know current market value is of one weed or one drug one weed i thought you're gonna say you confuse drugs so you're like i'll walk into a dispensary they'll give me pcp but like this is weed right again you just walk out that could also happen if they for whatever reason if the weed people wanted to give me a more expensive drug in exchange for weed i would don't know why that business model makes sense but i'd be like yeah sure thanks i don't

know with how you phrased it i thought you were saying you get ages in drugs confused so like not oh man how old are you turning this year weed i was just i don't know i was like that sounds really weird to me i meant more like the ages when you of people now that i'm older like you could like if i looked at a baby that baby could be zero or seven seven exactly no idea don't know how old that baby is also baby clothes the worst investment ever i'm thinking about eventually having a baby just wrapped just cutting holes in a pillowcase putting their two little legs in and then tie it around their waist and be like this is what we're gonna wear until you grow out of it

i actually i'm i'm in on that one i 100 agree yeah your baby sounds like baby you got it you got it sorry sorry let's say it sounds like this weekend zach just lost a lot of money investing into baby clothes, and that's where that statement came from. I just can't imagine it. I'm already future mad at myself for spending too much money on baby clothes. Zach had a weekend at the Baby Gap just this whole entire weekend. It's the biggest scam.

It's the biggest infomercials and baby clothes. The biggest scams ever. Whoa, whoa. Slapchop? Greatest invention since sliced bread. Come on. That thing? My favorite part.

We're just going off on tangents. Favorite part about infomercials is, you know, like if they're advertising the stackable containers or whatever. They're like, now make your area more organized. When they cut to like the mom who just doesn't know how to put stuff in her cabinet and she's like fumbling around and knocks everything over. I'm like that's no one no one puts their dishes away like that they're they're all a mess like there was a um i would say favorite favorite infomercial we'll go around quick or rucks or rucks finish your statement and then we can go uh favorite

what's your favorite like made on tv product well just like i'm just like the the gym i used to go to because i go like i haven't in a little bit like the gym when i go to the gym early in the morning like the channels are all infomercials because it's like 5 30 or whatever and like just some of the shit like and the great thing is there's no sound like at the gym like if the gym i was at like there's no sound to it there's no captions so you just see these big ridiculous headlines and then it's just like woman talking about something and then just like slamming a piece of tupperware and it's like what the fuck am i watching like i have no context for any of this right now but this sounds fun just put on music

videos like every other gym does and call it a day it's all good i don't know what the fuck they were thinking favorite infomercial easily sham wow because it's just a towel and for some reason that's a big deal and they sold a lot of them and then the parody of easily sham wow because it's just a towel and for some reason that's a big deal and they sold a lot of them and then the parody of the sham wow is incredible that's the only answer do you remember i just i saw a tiktok the other day the like infomercial where it was it was like a baking utensil i guess where it was like you could make a uh make a cake like a dome cake and then you put ice cream inside of it do you guys remember that or am i like completely it sounds it sounds familiar it sounds like something that would be on a fucking infomercial yeah it was like one of those like 90s ones that i feel like

nobody had the actual item but it's like i found this guy on tiktok who's like going back through all those infomercials and seeing like if people actually have it and then he's ordering it and using it and seeing if it's like remotely close actually works this man like did the ice cream one and he like takes the takes the cake out of the fridge and it's just a puddle of ice cream inside a cake and he's just like well this didn't work but he's just like eating it like he's just eating like soup out of cake good man good melted ice cream still ice cream i'd say my my favorite infomercial is probably flex tape just for like the memes that came after flex tapes like first off the idea while you're watching where the dude is like yeah look there's huge fucking hole in my

boat slam some fucking tape on it now i'm out in the fucking marshlands of goddamn florida like it's like what the fuck is this shit but um all the memes after where it's just like my problems and then just slapping a piece of flex tape on it and it's just like weed or something it's just like perfect perfect meme ability right there flex tape gets the win for me so i have a couple shout outs uh the mic the pasta boat remember that where you could put pasta in them in like the microwave and it would make perfect pasta like just put it in boiling water i don't understand the difference um any knife infomercial where they would basically just like run the knife under a truck and then be like it can still cut a tomato like that i'm like

what is that showing to me um or be like let me cut through some leather and show you how i can cut the steak and the knife ones they're always cutting shoes like why the fuck are we always cutting shoes in half you're so right like what the fuck prank somebody i think the one that i watched the most though was remember like the new wave oven do you guys remember that one at all it was like a cleaver it was kind of like cory's dome thing but it was an oven and they would just have eight of them lined up and they'd cook everything like they'd cook a steak burgers fries probably a fucking cake and they would just they would just put it all in there i'm like oh this thing's sweet and then it'd be like eight payments of 49.99 i'm like this thing

is is four hundred dollars who is buying this shit have you guys ever actually bought anything off of tv no no the closest i don't remember what it was the closest i got was going to the as seen on tv store and like seeing that doesn't count seeing something that guess what i saw on tv and uh but no i never pulled the trigger didn't they good they used to am i could i could be tripping here but like didn't they used to sell cds like in the same way like commercials like it would be like oh like and you get hurt like greatest hits for 1995 you call this number and shit like that used to be a thing right yeah they're used to do like all the catholic like hits. Do you remember that?

I'm pretty sure. Jesus Bops 5. Yeah, pretty much. About 90% sure. I tried to convince my parents to buy a Now That's What I Call Music that had In the Club by 50 Cent on it. I'm about 90% sure. That's the only thing I've ever tried to buy from television. My parents were like, no. I don't know, all right let's put the soap on my

body yeah okay let's let's hit the fucking it's gross hit the button let's No. I mean, I don't use them. I just put the soap on my body. Okay. Let's hit the fucking... I think that's gross. Hit the button. Let's hit the intro. I mean, Zach opened up the floor for milk last week. I guess we're open-forming washcloths this week. I'm so dumb.

Yes. I use washcloths every day, especially. It is Wednesday, Mikey. My nipples are hard now. Number one, remove your bra. I like nuts. This is my butt. I'm ready to go.

Golf is a sexy thing. My dick will go like, boop, and just flip inside out, and it'll turn into a vagina. And you take me. Hi, boys. And of course, Pennsylvania. You leave the butter in the crack. Why is my spaghetti fizzy? I want to kiss you on the mouth, baby.

God damn, he's so good. Yeah, he calls me big time. Ah, ah, ah. Of course, it makes me dookie. If you just wanted to slurp something and then spit it back out. And then I swallow. I want to die. Raw dog and lower. Kid turkey based on nipples. He just got slopped. The rock's dick has anchor arms. I think I

gotta get out of here. I don't fucking great question. Who has vertical butt cheeks? To the death. No, I'm fucking down. I'm fucking with this fucking guy, man. Who has vertical butt cheeks? To the death. No, Bob's looking down on us. He's like, fuck it, we're just fucking gay, man. It is Wednesday, my dude. Ah!

Yeah. What episode is it? 55? 69. I have no fucking idea, actually, now that you mentioned it episode 56 uh as you could tell nothing on the agenda open forum and yet we had we're all here i'm fine some people cancel on us um we will be in talks with your people all right so say he got stuck at a train station the stink engine the stink engine okay there it is yeah i was like eyes very long thanks i'm brian we got zach we got rooks right cory so

washcloths people be talking about them i'm talking about it hold on hold on don't you dare jerry seinfeld this shit in what's the deal with these no we're gonna do the usual spiel and then we'll talk about god we'll open up the floor for fucking washcloths i want everyone i'm just talking wash i want everyone to incorporate washcloths in their weekend wrap-up though you have to incorporate the word wash up wash cloth all right starting us off cory all right weekend so i know we have uh we're gonna spit balling today so uh it would it would be nice if my weekend yeah would you say bean bagging yeah okay perfect yeah we're doing that um it would be really helpful if i had a lot of really fun stories from this weekend but i don't so uh well last weekend hold on actually i have the quotes

from from washington weekend and there's a couple that i feel like rooks didn't mention from last week um i'm gonna run through them and we'll just assume that there's a couple in here that rook said uh we don't settle we saddle come on rooks you missed that oh fuck that's true uh i'm not a big spike ball guy but this song is a big spike ball on the beach with white claw image um rome wasn't built in a day it's true it's true you guys can look it up rome was not built in a day these hands are extra would you like to pay extra to catch them um a spicy beer i don't remember a spicy beer comma a beer that's spicy don't remember that one either but it's in the phone.

Oh, I thought that was a Chase Bank. Of course, we know that story. Classic Jeff. I'd rather fill out pants than a shirt. Was this a guy or a girl? I think a guy. This isn't Corey's phone. I have no fucking clue. Mark is small.

Mark is small. How much would it take you to switch roles with a bottle girl about a week um and then the one you said when johnny paid for the table and the next morning he asked you guys like for you know to pitch in and all of you just say no and then he was like it's okay if gonzaga covers we we're good. It's fine, guys. Crack me up. He's such a fucking degenerate. Huge degenerate. Crack me up.

I don't remember the backstory of pretty much all of those. So I hope you enjoyed them. But so this weekend we were supposed to go. Claire and I were supposed to go to see John Mayer on your body is on Friday but that man caught COVID so

he cancelled and rescheduled for May 5th so not anytime soon so big sad loser sorry John yeah big sad boy so my weekend went from getting blacked out to your bodies of wonderland to a nice chill weekend hung in friday night had a movie night chill with claire had to

work in the morning one movie can't go past that that quick come on i don't remember. Not a lot of movie watching that. You know what I'm saying? I watched a movie on Sunday. Triple from. No. Get that shit off your goddamn soundboard. I don't like. I don't like.

No, I don't remember. Oh, wait. It wasn't a movie. It was. Breach on the River Kwai. Pam and Tommy on Hulu, which is a wild show. That had to work Saturday morning, which was stinky. Then we went over Saturday night to Sarah's.

Shout out Sarah, Claire's friend from college, IUPP Touch. She had people over because she just got a new apartment. So we had a game night, which was dope because I haven't had a board game night in forever. So basically, I think there was like eight of us or something. And everybody brought a board game. I think we had four different games we played. We played

regular card games. We did Brian Dark Telestrations After Dark. Huge hit. Huge hit. Huge hit. Of course. It was, like, everybody's first time playing it, and they were dying. No swim boobs, which I was a little disappointed about. Damn it!

Yeah, you would think. And then there was another charades game, Brian. You might have, there was a charades game. You might have played it, but I don't remember the name of it. There's, like, three rounds. The first round is like you describe oh you can like do whatever you want to except say the word on the card the second round is you have to um act it you can't say anything and then the third round was you say one word one word yeah dope game my family over thanksgiving it's like it's easier than it sounds because it sounds really hard.

Yeah. Because there's like 10 cards, and you do the same 10 cards each three rounds. So you kind of get hints as you go. That one's fun, though. But yeah. So dope, chill-ish Saturday night. Obviously got after it a little bit, but enough where it uh not the equivalent to going out and seeing uh john mayer on a friday night i'll tell you that but it was really nice sunday had a nice grown-up day

i took cooper on a walk down to get some coffee clean the house did some housework uh cooked grocery shop got a gym membership your boy hasn't gone to the gym in two years. Thick in not the good way. So went to the gym yesterday, back on the grind. My weekend rating is going to be one emperor penguin with no context. All right. That's a fun weekend. Imagine how awesome it would be if you could give flight to one flightless bird

and you gave flight to penguins imagine how excited they'd be wrong it's ostrich you're an idiot false that is that is the most dangerous imagine how terrifying if ostriches could fly exactly they would kill us all exactly take out russia that'd be cool dude does nope not gonna say it russia doesn't have ostriches i would assume rooks how was your weekend it was good friday okay first actually because um our intros got cut short earlier i would just like to give a huge shout out to everyone who reached out um i got huge support on my botched toe incident from last week a lot of people reached out i bet and just you know really like help me nurse my toe

back to life toes doing fine shout out to everybody like your your wishes really just like really helped out so i just want to say thank you go fund me get fully funded oh for sure um yeah okay it's a whole big scam though so like it's don't tell anybody anyway um but so weekend friday didn't do shit your boy was dying absolutely exhausted i was hung over until wednesday slash thursday um so friday your boy was like no i'm not doing shit stayed in saturday shout out milk boy it was milky mark's birthday um we went to dude's brunch we had 12 deep at brunch just slamming mimosas this place was actually pretty nice we did not belong there at all like it was a fairly nice place just 12 dudes just housing mimosas we didn't know we had to order until

like the last minute it was this whole big debacle um you didn't know you had to order like so you know like if you ever if you ever go to like one of these big brunches and like a lot of times in dc they like just bring out plates and it's just like they keep bringing them out and you eat as you go um this like they were bringing out dips and stuff in the beginning and then you had to order your food so okay like and she explained it to all of us in the beginning and we were all just like trying to get mimosas and shit and just like not listening to her and then later she was like like, yeah, no, you need to order food. We're like, oh, fuck.

But then after that, bounce around to a few bars, came back here, had a little pregame. Your boy had one of the worst pregames of his life. I lost in FIFA twice. Also, I would like to put it on record. I haven't played FIFA in probably like a year, but played Mark's buddy T, and man, I was up 3-1 the first game, dicking around with the ball,

tied it up, lost in PKs. Second game, same debacle. I was up, dicked around with the ball. Your boy was a bad guy. I was really upset for the last like hour of the pregame anyway went to this other bar we haven't been to called the mayflower absolutely unbelievable it's so fucking fun it's super grammable but like it's just a great time um but i took the worst tequila shot of my life there um me and dan bought tequila shots they

were like two and a half shots like it took me three sips to get the full shot down granted yes i am a little bit of of a baby but like three full sips like big baby what the fuck is that let's get your money's worth man oh i was about to fucking yak my guts out but um dance dance there their dj was fucking crazy had the stupid idea to go to mad hatter um and then things just kind of go black and then um no they don't actually like i didn't fully black out i was just tired eventually eventually at mad hatter i was like dancing you know when you're like just slept you know when you're dancing eyes closed the whole entire time like you know when you're dancing and you're just like like eventually you just get to the point and you're just like

what am i doing like what the fuck am i doing here and i look down and i'm just like i'm like i got a glimpse of myself in the mirror behind the bar and i was like oh my god you need to go brother and i just got the fuck out of there went home and yeah it wasn't nothing too crazy got got after it saturday oh golf sunday too popped off a little bit your boy was your boy was kind of thriving i was vibing um but yeah i'm gonna give um i'm gonna give you guys both over two for talking about washcloths tell you what bitch it's gonna have the floor is gonna be fully open for washcloths here in a few minutes just fucking hold your challenge was to slide it into your weekend you guys have both failed zach's gonna succeed I'm telling you.

Eat a dick. I will give my weekend rating one extra large tequila shot. One washcloth. Oh, that was a missed opportunity right there. Zach, how was your weekend? Please talk about a washcloth. Your boy got LASIK on Friday.

Got my eyes lasered which is exciting um was this like a last minute decision i feel like oh no i've had this plan for a while this was this was this is like a couple months in the plan um so now you can shoot laser beams out of your eyes right dude i was really hoping because because the room where you walk in looks like an x-man like an x-man room or an x-woman room um it's like super futuristic the machine is cerebral yeah yeah it looks like cerebral basically and so i'm laying down you know that scene in deadpool where they're like drowning him and forcing him to suffocate and hoping to unlock his x-men gene that's what i was hoping was gonna happen i was gonna i was

hoping it was gonna full scott summers when i walked out of there uh fortunately it did not happen but they did fix my vision so now it's just i got dry eyes so now i'm just the old lady with the eye drops everywhere i have to go to keep them moist and lubed up sick um nice but but yeah it was a crazy experience the only it didn't hurt or anything the only weird part is when they did laser my eyes i could smell the laser burning so that was the only thing that was a little weird. I don't like that. But yeah.

So yeah, I got LASIK. So it was a pretty chill Friday and Saturday. Didn't really do too much. What's crazy, you can drive the next day, which is wild. So I was just like ripping through downtown Chicago, just kind of meandering around in my car. Test out the eyes.

I don't need contacts anymore. Dude, you got to test out the eyes i don't need contacts anymore dude you gotta test out the eyes gotta gotta go to raw dog the sun just to say like hey fuck you son oh my god um no i didn't get low yeah um one thing though is you can't wash your eyes so no washcloth around the eyes i can't do anything oh yeah that's tough yeah it's tough i can't i can't go full but i mean i texted you before i've been kind of slacking on the showers recently. Maybe I'm averaging probably two or three a week, which is a little rough. Dude, this is why we need to talk about washcloths, because that's not okay. Yeah, table deffer.

Maybe we'll just have a full floor for just showers. Maybe we'll just open the floor to showers. Have you been going anywhere besides get your superpowers? No. I mean, that's the reason why I haven't been showering a lot. I'm into it, Zach. Thanks, man. I support you. Hey, if you're doing things yeah go shower if you're not two or three days it's your life man that's right yeah don't live stinky it's your house

dude this is the stankopotamus um so sunday i wanted to test the eyes out again so got we went to the hawks game got uh brunch with the friends um and then we went shout out to big tim kirschner my dad got a sweet tickets right behind the goalie right by the glass so got to impress my friends which was nice um you gotta get the nosebleeds to test out the eyes that's fair that's you know that's a good call um that's true but i was literally just ripping eye drops in my seats i was just pulling out eye drops just i'm like i can't i'm not gonna go to the bathroom and do it i don't care if anyone sees me um blackhawks stunk they lost four nothing shout out to the to the kitty cat though meow uh alex brink at didn't score um yeah you knew that bet was gonna be lost when you faced i woke up to zach facetiming sunday

morning saying hey buddy i need to place a bet for today it's like all right you knew that bet was lost the minute i was placing it for you also so that's on you uh fair and then after the game i pre-ordered a big kahuna from jersey mike, which is a hot cheesesteak with jalapenos, ate a giant. I upgraded to the giant size and then ate that shirtless on my couch watching Princess Diaries on Disney Plus. Sounds fucking ideal.

Yeah, dude, it was great. I scarfed it down. So I'm going to give my weekend one Cyclops. It should be zero Cyclops because you are but he's got one eye. No superpowers. Can he actually see or is it just like

is he blind? He has his goggles on. The goggles just contain his laser beams. Do you think that's like a commentary on pre-ejaculation because when he doesn't have that, I remember he can't control it and he just lifts it up and just like and it just goes everywhere like and then he has to have the eyeglasses on do you think that was like their idea my commentary on it should we remake it where it's jizz coming out of his eyes

why would you make cum come out of his fucking eyes burn why wouldn't we just make it actually like his dick because that would be inappropriate rocks it's scott summers that's how it works he's x-men how just tell us about your fucking weekend she's more like scott seaman so there's a theme going on of everyone not having too crazy of weekends i was supposed to be in ireland so i have zero plans this weekend buddy i got new eyes what do you mean not crazy weekend i mean but then you're like but then i like sat around because i couldn't see i had a full jersey mike's giant sub by myself shirtless watching anne hathaway become the princess of genovia it's true. My point still stands.

Ireland didn't happen. Had to unpack all my washcloths from my suitcase. Nice. One point. I watched Spider-Man 2 because everyone says it's the best one and had to go re-watch it. That was easily not the best one. Spider-Man 2, Tobey Maguire is such a weenie he doesn't show up to freaking mj's play one time and she freaks out and like breaks up with him and then ends up marrying some other dude i remember how i remember that movie was like he was a huge

dick to her and like didn't show up to her play like 20 times and then she finally like did something this dude's a pizza delivery guy in new york city and can't go to like a broadway play like obviously he doesn't have any money and she's pissed at him i don't know he sucks he's such a weenie that entire time he has like five lines he says like sorry to everybody not a good movie doesn't hold up um definitely not a washcloth guy then i watched the movie spinal tap because apparently it's like a classic from like 78 or something it's from forever ago watch half of it not funny not worth it don't worry about it also the dudes from the 70s definitely not watch goth guys they're really they're dirty and gross then just a psa for everybody if you've ever seen the show hot ones on youtube there's a dave

grohl episode that came out this week. It's so good. So Dave Grohl just like brings whiskey with him. And in between every wing, they take a shot. And then at like six wings in, he's just like, let's take another one. Let's take another one. So you take three shots in between one of the wings. By the end, Sean Evans is like holding Dave Grohl, just crying himself. And Dave Grohl is like completely fine because he probably does it all the time.

But Sean Evans is just so drunk and like confessing his love to him by the end. A plus watch. Dave Grohl, definitely a washcloth guy. He's the best. Weekend, 7.5 washcloths out of a shower. Okay, boys. Got that out of the way. Let's open up the floor.

Let's open up the floor. All right, let's just start. Who uses watch class here? No. No. I'm a hard no. It's like a southern thing. I've learned, apparently.

It's a southern thing? Why did you say it like that? I didn't mean to. You said it in a very non I've learned apparently. It's a southern thing? Why did you say it like that? I didn't mean to. You said it in a very non-southern accent. Yeah, it wasn't an accent. It's a southern thing. You're like, I really didn't try to. I'm just not good at speaking.

But yeah, so you all grew up in Chicago, New York, and Maryland. Maryland, you're kind of close. But I was in North Carolina, so I guessed it. I'm literally two states away from you, but okay. Yeah, but... But one of those is the washcloth bordering state that I don't think you realize is there.

Is it like the Mason-Dixon line? What are we talking about here? Yeah. I wouldn't consider Virginia the south, but it's like two states away from Atlanta. Buddy, they fought for the Confederacy. It's close, though. But I still wouldn't consider Virginia the South,

but like two States away doesn't really mean much. How the fuck does this relate to washcloths? I thought washcloths had the floor right now. They do. Cause it's a Southern thing. All right. Why do you not, you just rub the bar of soap on you.

That seems so stupid. Yeah. I just, I, I'm cutting out the middle man here. I can, I can, I, I want Zach's face on a poster right now.

This man is bewildered. What are you talking about? The soap, the bar of soap or your body wash. Why would you dirty another article of clothing just to, you know what, you know what, I have two washcloths on the end of my arms, buddy. They're called my hands. No. And I scrub-a-dub-dub them all over. washcloths on my end of my arms buddy they're called my hands no and i scrub a dub dub them it doesn't like suds up enough and it's not like scrubbing you gotta get in there man are you are

you scraping the peanut butter out of your booty crack with a washcloth you don't have to because it's not there if you don't have to are you not cleaning your shower i take a shower every day unlike you who takes one one every three days. You got a crunchy shift down there. Answer the question. Do I wash my butthole? Yeah, how are you cleaning your butthole, buddy? Every once in a while.

You know, I get the water going on it. You don't have to get all the way in there. So you spread it, and you do it like an instant duvet. Sometimes. Not duvet. Duvet is what you cover your butt with. And then he wraps himself up in a blanket. not duvet so do you go so you you face the wall bed over spread the cheeks what are we doing hold on burn you don't wash your ass every time you shower you said every

couple times i get in there and like you don't wash your asshole the one area that probably should be washed every time you shower. So you're putting soap on your finger, sudsing it up and then putting your finger on your butthole itself and just wiggling it around. Yes. Burn. We all finger our ass.

That's how we clean our ass. That's what we're saying. Okay. No, you just explain how you clean your butthole. I have two butt cheeks. My hand has soap in it. I slide the hand up the butt crack and then soap gets in the crevice

you ever do i don't have a stinky butthole you ever credit card people not naked okay well you're doing it to yourself so you're not gonna scare yourself i don't think you're gonna sneak up on yourself there i'm just picturing you guys like taking the bar soap put in between your cheeks, like squeezing on it for a bit and then like, let go. Like, all right,

what are you talking about, dude? You're just making stuff up now. Like, yeah, sometimes when I'm in the shower. Yeah. You know what?

I'll give my booty cheeks a little jiggle. We all have. Okay. I'll get my hand at the bottom of the cheek. Give it a little jiggle. That's the only real ass play I get in the shower. I'm not fucking fingering myself in the shower okay it's not what i'm doing uh washcloths are great though you feel cleaner you can't just like but so every time so every time you use it right it's you're kind of like getting it gross

you're like scrubbing into your shit it's getting shit into the washcloth right and you're doing the same with the bar so i know and if i know you brother you're not washing that washcloth between every shower it is crusty as hell in the bathroom and you're just i'll just get it wet again and it'll be fine i don't care how you try it out it's fine you're the weird one i don't care you're the weird one no not all. There's so many people who use washcloths. It's weird to me that how do you take... Again, I'm going to butts. I need to stop doing that. I don't know how you just take the bar of soap and rub it on you if you're dirty,

and then you put that to the side, and then you take the same thing and rub it on you again. It's the same thing with the washcloth. I don't know why you think that's weird. But soap is the disinfectant itself. It's not another item that you're putting it on that can get dirty cutting out the middle man exactly yeah but you're basically hiring an accountant to do your taxes and i'm just getting i'm just getting turbo tax directly to my computer i thought of this earlier because i had written this down for some reason you don't wash dishes do you wash dishes like you just put soap on it and use your hand or do you use a sponge my body's smooth

and it's like caked in fucking old i use i use a scrub daddy because it has the little ridges and gets the shit out brian yeah the next time you're covered in old fucking pasta sauce and crusty ass thing then you can use a washcloth until then you don't get out of my fucking coaches so you have deep fucking grease stains on your arms and shit i have i have a good counterpoint to that actually i use a dishwasher which doesn't use any washcloth at all it's just using soap and water just like how i catch these hands catch these hands that also uses like boiling hot water and like jets that go up stuff yeah Yeah. A shower head is a jet. Yeah. And then you're,

you put it on hot water. So shower water, you shower in the, in the water and a dishwasher, but if I could fit the dishwasher and not die, I would, I would go in the dishwasher. I would also,

I would like to mention, you remember the showers in our freshman dorm? That was the pressure on those things. Absolutely matches a dishwasher. I don't care what you say. That shit was a fucking fire hose and they were piping hot about 85% of the time. So I'd say those are equivalent to the dishwasher. But you're saying you don't like showers like that

so i know you don't shower like that all the time i'm not saying i don't like it i had you and i didn't have a choice what am i gonna go fucking somewhere else i know but i'm saying most showers aren't like that because you're saying the pressure was crazy and so normally it's not like that. So normally it's like washing dishes with a sponge, not like using a dishwasher. I mean, I know that was supposed to be your big bombshell Trump card, but man, it didn't hit. It just didn't. I stand by it.

I think people would support me. Just saying. Well, and it's like... Zach had a good text mentioning the fucking bed, the loose bed sheet as well. Yeah. What a worthless fucking thing to have on your bed. Like, what an abs. Do you guys have duvets? What?

Yes. Yeah, I have a duvet. I fight with it every week when I wash my sheets trying to get my comforter back in it. It almost, it's almost killed me a couple times, but I've won every battle. What's the advantage of a duvet? The loose bed sheet, it's just. it's almost killed me a couple times but i've won every battle what's the advantage of the sheets the loose bed sheet it's just it's a duvet cover it covers you can take it off so you just wash the cover instead of washing the whole like okay just also the loose for right response no but like rooks so you have a duvet cover and then under that there's a loose bed sheet like that you put under the duvet itself right you're that there's a loose bed sheet like that you put under the duvet itself

right you're supposed to yes the loose bed sheet is just like it's this thin thing it gets fucking wrangled up under there anyway when you move around when you sleep it's super uncomfortable what purpose does it serve like what's the it's easy to wash that's the point so then you don't have to wash your comforter because not everyone has a duvet cover some people have like a comforter comforter which is the big blanket that's hard to wash i comforter. Because not everyone has a duvet cover. Some people have like a comforter comforter, which is a big blanket. That's hard to wash. I'll step in here. I'll step in here because I don't have a duvet and I don't have that stupid ass little sheet.

I just wash my comforter like once a week. Is there a problem with washing comforters? No. Some of them are supposed to be like dry clean only. And some of them, if it's like feathers and only and some of them if it's like feathers and stuff you can't i think ew imagine taking a comfort or a fucking dry cleaner fucking loser that'd be gross do you guys untuck like you go to a hotel you untuck the untuck immediately immediately until zach all eight of the pillows except for one are on the ground, and the sheet has already been ripped off the bed.

Sorry. Yeah, no air conditioner down as low as it'll go, and then I do everything with the beds. With the bed. Claire's a not-untuck kind of person. Ew! And it weighs a lot on my mental state. Claire, if you're listening, I love you to death. That is sociopathic behavior.

That is actually terrifying. She just has to wedge herself in there? Yeah, I guess. It surprises me every time because sometimes I forget. And then I'm like, well, I go and untuck it and I feel bad about myself because she's like, why are you untucking it? It's perfectly fitted. I'm like, because that's whatever. You got to unt gotta untuck it then you gotta wrap your tootsies so that way they're like you know covered up tucked in and then you're good all right we're gonna we're gonna live call uh we're

gonna conference claire in here let's uh couples counsel this because this is just it seems like i mean it seems like we're going on a rocky road right now i could she's uh she's at a salon right now i think perfect time she got she's got her phone she haven't i could call her i haven't girls night the tuck shit my my uh my grandma when she makes a bed at her place it'll be tucked from the bottom all the way up to like right where the pillows are it's like does anyone sleep like this like does anybody sleep fully tucked up to their fucking jaw i'm fucking choking going to bed what is this now dude it's this fucking torture chamber i was gonna say was there bigger like bullshit propaganda that our parents

fed us that hotel rooms were just the most disgusting places on the planet like i go to i go to more disgusting bars and like i've been like the the men's bathroom at la fitness is way more disgusting than any bathroom i've been in and like just my parents be like you can't walk with socks on on the on the carpet of the hotel room otherwise you'll get fucking scurvy or something they made you not wear socks in hotel i feel like it's it should be the opposite no they said even if you wore socks like they were always like put keep your shoes on basically they're like you're sleeping in your shoes you're walking on i'm just like what are we doing i mean you're not sleeping in the la fitness bathroom hopefully so it's a little different but hotel rooms are gross though you know no no scvy expert here, but can you get scurvy just walking on something?

I think so. I think so. That's how the pirates got it, right? They were just walking on the boats and they got the scurvy? No, they stayed in a lot of hotels, actually, is what I heard. It's true. A lot of La Quintas. I have a story of, like, sleeping arrangements.

My brother, Jim, in, like, like high school used to not sleep in his bed And which put a sleeping bag on the ground or his sleeping bag on the bed either way He would just sleep in a sleeping bag for like two years straight It was something fuck like I don't know Well because either on the gravel next to the bed or just on top of the bed so yes he knew he had a bed all right he willingly chose to just zip himself up i will say sleeping sleeping bag on the ground is one thing sleeping bag on top of your actual bed is like what the fuck what are you even thinking here like what's the thought process maybe you don't have to wrangle with a

sheet and then it's still comfy but on the ground though i think there's a 50 chance it was in the ground then i'm confused because that's i mean on the ground you know maybe you like the experience of being on in like a sleeping bag on the fucking ground i don't know we don't judge here but i'm putting it on a bed it's like you're you're already in bed like why are you on why are you in a sleeping bag yeah so that was weird so i had to let you guys know the floor is open right You're already in bed. Like, why are you on? Why are you in a sleeping bag? Yeah, so that was weird. So I had to let you guys know that. The floor is open.

Jesus Christ. The floor isn't open for just any old bullshit burn, okay? Strictly washcloths and hotel rooms right now. When I was little, I had a tent that you could put on your bed, and I slept in that a couple times. That was fun. But I was like eight. So, like, come get some slack. Jesus jesus no one else had that no just me

do you want a smooth transition here so valentine's day just passed um three weeks ago a few weeks ago and our uh love correspondent love guru if you will cory myers had a great uh great prompt for us and then he didn't show up for two weeks so we didn't address it didn't show up for one week what are we talking here the people cory didn't show up for three weeks and now we're here um talking about valentine's day so cory the floor is yours all right so it's a simple a simple prompt i guess is just good date ideas bad date ideas i have mine queued up ready to go uh so i'll walk through them and then you guys can give yours is this like you were brainstorming for claire or is this hypothetical hey we can take ideas from here

you could do whatever you you could take it however you want because this is like valentine's i wasn't brainstorming for me specifically i was thinking like you know we have some maybe single people out there listening so originally i think i was thinking like first date ideas but then i kind of just started spitting date ideas because i don't think i was thinking first date yeah i like first date let's do first date well i'm still gonna say all the ones i have and then that's fine that's totally fine you guys can f off uh all right all right all right so bar uh you could just go grab a drink for like an hour date or bad date good date or bad date oh Good date or bad date?

Oh, yeah. These are good dates first, and then I'll do bad dates. Sorry. Sorry to prompt. But you could go for like an hour for happy hour, and then if you want to keep on like talking because you like the person, you guys can transition that into dinner, and then that way it's like nice so you could see like.

Aquarium, random, fun. People like the aquarium. When's the last time you went to an an aquarium i feel like people don't go that often at our age do drugs pre-aquarium the best so again good date idea i don't know if i would do that on the first date with the person you're going with but like you can find out if you're dating a cop or not it's a good litmus test right there so far you gotta up the amount of danger on these dates i'm just gonna say that jump in the tank with the manatees i'm on zach's side that's fine that's fine uh sporting event blah blah blah dave and busters i think would be a really great first date idea honestly what about tell me it's not up the dave and busters thing with dave and busters

is like i'm not trying to like tune them up in cruising exotica on the very first date I'm not trying to double tap the wheel and do wheelies all over their bitch ass for the whole fucking date but like that's what it's gonna turn into if we're Dave and Buster's like get ready for these hands I'm Dominic Toretto it's all about family you're done you know what I mean

like what if she like wrecks you oh then I'm getting on a knee in the spot. If you beat me in Cruisin' Exotica on a first date, I'm in love. If you got engaged in a Dave and Buster's, I would hate you for the rest of your life. And it would, oh, man. We'll do good proposals and bad proposals on another one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dave and Buster's. More like. Come on. Another good date idea uh the spunk tink festival that we hope yes we host when we're trying to drum up business thank you so you know you're going to the carnival right you're gonna get yeah some some caramel popcorn some cotton candy. Maybe you'll go over, see somebody who can try to guess your weight or whatever they do, guess your birthday. I don't know, that weird shit. And then you're on your way out.

You're thinking like your day is done. And then you start getting heckled by somebody hovering over a tank of some sort. 80 feet in the air. I hate that go ahead and again you know how i feel to reiterate um good date idea uh bad date ideas i have three uh no uh your local town hall um for some local history um any museum because that shit's boring and then uh a cemetery cemetery's tight i'll be down if you get a message on like hinge of like hey you want to meet in a cemetery i would 75 chance just have to say yes just to be like, this is going to be a great story.

That's the crazy thing. No matter what happens. The crazy thing is, though, and like, what are the beauties about being a man? We get that text and we're like, what are the beauties about being a man, brother? Well, no, just like... Weird way to phrase it.

But I'm saying like... If a girl got that fucking message from a guy she didn't know on Hinge, like, that dude is getting a visit from the cops immediately. Deservingly so, but like... Yeah. It's just like, it's just funny. Sorry. Didn't make it a whole thing.

Alright. I like how your bad date ended, and i like your last good date the rest of them up your game so i'm gonna start with my bad date ideas you don't have to roast me my guy i'm going to one musicals i hate them why you have to sing so much if i got invited to one i would just move states and change my name. Why you gotta sing so much? Exactly. Don't you know I'm human too? Big girl, stop. Don't cry.

The pageantry. The pageantry. If they invited me to do chores, if they're like, I have some errands to run if you want to come through. For a first date? Are we talking first date? Are we going to Costco it's a bad one are we going to costco if we're going to costco i'm saying yes i'm out i'll send her your way um and then third

if you meet their family in some sort of fashion at any point uh definitely pathway to uh something bad m-e-e-t or m-e-a-t yeah you haven't you haven't heard my good list yet um oh god no if you meet her family meet her down i wrote a good date i just want to be confused. Just like pick something strange. Like the only thing I could think of was let's go like TP somebody's house. Like I want to find out something about you, like who you have a small grudge on. And like,

it's the slightest amount of danger. Like you'll probably get stopped by the cops with like, just, just stop. So picture, don't do that. Picture this. So you said,

Oh, I want to be just confused. First date. You guys meet up at a restaurant. She walks in, she just goes, blah, and then walks out. Burns, this is the best date I've ever been on in my life. You don't think I'm going to text her back and be like,

question mark? Jesus Christ. Brian goes to the bar to meet this girl. He's there alone for three hours, just waiting. He's just going to eat dinner. He gets a text later on that his date was actually the man in the corner staring at him. Good date or bad date, Brian? Does he send me photos later?

Yes. They're extremely vividly sexual. Yeah, great date. Okay, yeah, making sure. If I walk into a restaurant, they're like, you want to get out of here? I found a really cool cemetery down the road. All about it. That would be awesome.

We live different lives. No, I don't like this area. I don't like dead people, so sorry to all my dead people listeners out there, but y'all can get fucked. Shout out dead people. Alright, Rookzak, good date, bad date?

I'll go. Bad right, Rookzak, good date, bad date? I'll go. Bad dates, 9-11, terrible date. Wouldn't want to have a date on 9-11. Man, come on. December 7th, attack on Pearl Harbor, also bad date. If her grandpa served in World War II, you don't want to kind of mess up with any fat juju. What are we doing?

And then Valentine's Day, another bad date to have a first date because then you're in that weird phase, like how hard do I have to go then Valentine's Day, another bad date to have a first date because then you're in that weird phase like how hard do I have to go for Valentine's Day? Like what does this look like? Like do I just get her chocolate? Are we cool?

Good date ideas. One, take her to cheer you on for any intramural activity you have going on so she can watch you score hella touchdowns or dunk the said basketball in through the hoop.

Or watch rooks get pantsed in an IM flag football football i mean like you just want to flex that was a sick catch though so you just want to flex on how good you are still even post-college and how you can dunk on the haters so have you done this i thought about it are we specifying who this is a good date for no no you just said good you just a good date for? No, no. You just said good dates. You just said good date ideas. Yeah, no, it's fine. I mean, I just figured, you know, good dates.

What else? What else would I enjoy? Cooking six boxes of macaroni and cheese on a Sunday morning. Yeah, I mean, that's fair. Or reliving your high school glory days by looking at the yearbook and tell you how you almost went to the state finals playing football.

Pulling up your huddle highlight tape. That's right, just walking through the huddle highlight tape. Would love that as well. Another great date idea. What would be the last one? I guess the movies is okay because you don't have to talk that much but you're still like together i want the lights off and i want you to not speak exactly and then

we can look at my high school football exactly so yeah i feel like this those are my good dates are are gonna be on a list of bad dates by other people no those are my good dates and bad dates i think movies for a first date is fucking abysmal i think it's a terrible fucking first date like unless princess diaries yeah i guess it depends on the movie you know um yeah exactly um good first dates for me um i had written down um going to outer space that would be really cool. Oh, that's sick. It'd be pretty eye-opening. You're stuck with them, so you'd have to learn about each other. It's a long trip.

You have a long commute. To outer space. Yeah, just... Just out there. Right up there. No destination. Have you ever played the game in the car, left, right, left? It's the same thing but you're you're in space you gotta give it like a northeast yeah you're

going 90 degrees left 90 degrees right 90 degrees up you know just like we're gonna see it all okay don't don't worry about it we're gonna see it all so first date right that's a first date yeah you're gonna learn a lot about each other and then that way like if you don't like each other like hey like now you're in outer space great ice like great way to just be like hey we're chilling now like you know if you don't like each other you're stuck with it you're gonna learn to like each other but you're in space so it's like oh like i'm in space though like i can like vibe out here like i have like you have that side of the ship i have this side of the ship like we're gonna both float around it's gonna be great

the best is if the date's bad you can just go full arnold from magic school bus and pull your helmet off and then your head turns into ice cubes yeah okay that's you guys never seen that episode of magic school bus goes to space deep cut probably i remember is the one where they go in the human body i'll send it to the chat brian will post it as well okay yeah god um yeah i think that's a good first date um big like i don't know okay now like real option big fan and just like getting a drink like cory said that's great too um i think it's a solid choice not the cemetery but what i said yeah i agree cemetery another great one um you know like um like i don't know maybe like in the summer like going down like the tubing on like a river just like you two that'd be actually kind of tough but like i feel like

you'd actually have to like like find a river hey we got plenty of rivers here brother no rooks is out in outer space there ain't no water up there you can't do that oh my god okay imagine how much effort you would have to take be like hey let's go drive an hour and a half to find a river and let's go down it in this in this dirty tube and then just like really not that big of like effort like at least here it's not here it's like there's places kind of all around potomac river is pretty big but anyway i digress um that like i don't know i was that was mainly like that's a very selfish fun first date because like no matter what i'm gonna have a good time so like if like we go out like i'm gonna be cracking beers

i'm gonna be just playing like it's the only time i ever listen to country music is if i'm ever on like a river i'm just be sitting there blasting shit through my speaker like if we're if you're not having fun like that's tough just blow away tough noodles brother i'm gonna be chilling i think for 2022 we need to make a new motto that if i'm paying for the date i can make it as fun for me as i fucking want i'm paying for this whole thing you're like along for the ride like i don't really give a shit busters then we're hitting up a cemetery we're gonna go tubing listen yeah and then we're gonna go eat some mac and cheese just knock out all four i'll plan a date that's comparable for both of us but if i'm paying for the date let's what we're doing some shit that i find fun i don't give a shit if you find it fun

like you just you know if you can vibe with me cool then you will go on the second date all right my bad dates though buying a six pack of wash claws from walmart yeah definitely washcloth shopping's on there um taking stuff to the dump like hate doing that so like if you want to do that like like that's kind of on you like i don't want to like like that's just your job i said chores yeah it's not fun yeah but i i'm being specific like depending on the chore maybe taking stuff to the dump i fucking refuse i'm not going um and then probably my last one would be like i don't know like if you needed worked on your car and we had to like hang out in the like the dealership and just sit there like Jiffy Lube.

Yeah. If we had drinking that like pot of coffee that's there like the guys came out and offered six times. Hey, do you guys need water or anything? It's like, bitch, I've been looking at this shit the whole time. I wanted I would have gone up and grabbed it already. You're watching like Angel has fallen on TNT on the little TV. That's always some shitty ass movie But hey

Tell me does that sound like a fun first date Dude Jiffy Lube as a place to get engaged Definitely high on my list Get a whole audience That'll be on our engagement list That'll be It's gonna be a top dog If the local Jiffy Lube

Oh man It's going to be a top dog. You're going to the local Jiffy Lube. Oh, man. I'm going to go teepee at Jiffy Lube. That'll be fun. They'll be so confused. That's all. I just want people to be confused in the morning. You want to go teepee a building with cameras? Brian's just like, I want to get arrested.

I want to commit a small misdemeanor is is it more fun to tp a jiffy lube than to tp like your neighbor yes yes okay have you ever heard of anyone who's tp'd a jiffy lube no i mean i haven't told you a lot of people so look that's like you do it what and also what the whole point the fun part of teeping is so you get someone reaction right like you tp your friend's house cameras you talked about it but like you you tp your friend's house it's like oh you're gonna see him in school and they're gonna be like what the fuck what are you gonna tp this jiffyube and go in next day oil changed before it starts hey uh oh my gosh what happened here guys brian's first in line waiting at the jiffy lube when they

come in to open up for that day he doesn't he doesn't even leave he just fucking tps it sits out in front he gets in line you know how they have to pull the garage doors open he just gets in his car and he's like parked waiting for the doors to open with just TP all over it with the toilet. Guys, how long have you been sitting here? Oh, you guys don't have your hours up. What would your excuse be for that? I mean, if I worked at a Jiffy Lube, and I showed up, and there's just TP everywhere, great day. That is such a lie. that is such a fucking lie great if you showed up to any job that you worked at and it was the building was covered in toilet paper you'd be like well i'm gonna remember this

forever yeah but like it's different if it's a job where you don't have to be a part of the cleanup crew and then a job where you do have to be a part of the cleanup crew like if i had to clean up fair if i was working my fucking job i show up at 7 a.m didn't get good sleep last night my commute in was dog shit fucking dunkin donuts they're out of goddamn sausage fucking how are you out of sausage this is dunkin donuts and i roll up and my place of business is covered in fucking toilet paper and now i have to single like me and one other person have to walk around and rip this shit off the fucking columns of our building like fuck you i'm i'm absolutely livid yeah okay yeah i'm with you there all right how about we tp like the white house chase bank isn't tping the white house isn't that what National Treasure is about yeah

they replaced the Constitution with a roll of toilet paper I think that's a solid flick right there have you guys ever TPed up a house before we've egged a house do you think all Chase banks have a vault in the back like the old timey banks or no

I'm pretty sure they do like a vault in the back like the old-timey banks or no? I'm pretty sure they do. Like a vault vault with a big door? What other vault would you be thinking of? I don't know. Just like a not an old-timey vault. I feel like all the vaults I've seen have been very old-timey. And not these new modern vaults that are with the big fridges with the big silver doors.

More slick-like, not salt-like. Yeah, exactly. Have you have you ever seen um fast and the furious though when they're in brazil they're pretty easy to crack it doesn't take much effort you just need gal Gadot you took up a couple cars to it and just rip it out of a building oh yeah or you just take the fucking entire safe yeah that's that's true too no yeah i had to go get like change because like the laundromat didn't have any i had to go in a bank for the first time in my life and i walked i was like can i have quarters sure you watch for quarters no it's like there's a desk and then there's a this giant old-timey vault right next to him i'm like well that seems weird and they just like gave me some quarters so i walk out i feel like you can just walk in steal some money money. We should rob a bank. You know what? I'm going to add good first date idea.

Opening up a new bank account at your local Chase Bank together. Love that. That's a commitment? Yeah, you're going joint first date. Commitment. I'm doing great first date. Great first date is doing that and then immediately breaking it up and see how they act about it. Like see if they're in for the money or not.

Because then you're like, if you end it, they're going to be like, hey, wait, what the fuck? And then it's like, oh, you just wanted me for my money. Too bad. I don't fucking have any. You do that. And then that is what you use that account for all of your future dates. So then if you get complaints for not going on enough dates, you just say, well, that bank account bank account's still empty you know i took care of the first one when we went to go open that bank account you're up next on date number two what the fuck boom i'm investing our

date funds into a 401k 40 years from now we're gonna go on some crazy adventures you put 20 dollars in it together and then it it uh the interest what is it like 0.01 now a month so you get one penny a month and then eventually after you know like 30 years you could go on a second date it's it's not gonna be a good day you can go get ice cream but it's a long con it would just be so funny if this actually happened because you could just text this person for the next 50 years be like hey man got a lot of interest in the bank account this month what do you want to do with it and they're just like leave me alone gary just like another year later like it's it was a good month for the united states there's no war a lot of interest we got a couple hundred dollars in there

like you want to take a take a flight to garuba and they're like, leave me alone, Gary. Should they take a flight to Garuba? I heard Garuba. You know I can't speak. Garuba, Garuba, come on, pretty mama. Jesus Christ. Well, those were our good dates and bad dates. I think those were

some great fucking ideas. Hey, happy Valentine's Day, everybody. Happy Valentine's Day. Another great date idea is when you can slop up some steaks with your date. Everyone's got to get good and sloppy.

Did you say manwich? Yeah, you'd say, like, is this a Sloppy Joe reference? Are you actually referring to... No, it's a I-think-you-should-leave reference, a Tim Robinson reference, where you have his buddies go out and slop up some steaks. Over the head. What's everybody's, uh, whatever... Horoscopes. Horoscopes. Hold on. Hor horoscopes you didn't tell the viewers what to do all right fuck it it's fine um what are they supposed to do well no just like

love us black album it's very good you're saying boo a banger of a song that's what brian was actually gonna say yeah sorry he was saying. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at IWMD underscore pod. We'll post the clips and the episodes. Rate us five stars on Spotify and Apple. Review us on Apple Podcast. That would help. Rooks, you should review us as well because you haven't done that yet. And finally, if you want to be part of the show,

there's a link in the description of every episode. You can call in. Leave us a message. We'll put it in the show. So thanks for listening brooks we're the horoscopes hey keep your eyes open because something's gonna happen this week We'll be right back. Thank you.