It’s Wednesday My Dudes - Ep. 64: Turn Your Dream Catcher to Wumbo (Rauch, Rauch Rauch)

Episode Date: May 4, 2022

The boyos dig deep into old PBS shows that mostly Zak used to watch, try to interpret Bryan's dreams, and Ruxx hates that Cory wants to be a dragon as a transformer. Rate us 5 stars and leave a review on Apple Podcasts!  Links here to follow on social media! and find other places to listen!

And here we go. Can I get my soapbox segment where I talk about your guys draft? Yeah. Wait, first of all, I want to know, did you grade our drafts or do you have like a winner? Oh, man. Because it is you. If there's one person that can grade it, I feel like you're the only one. So I think I can give you guys one two three rankings um

last place has to be bright guy um oh come on first together such a good theme first off putting putting out just into the atmosphere that i'm gonna rip my pants again fuck you because it's not happening we're gonna make it we already brought that up we're gonna make it it's gonna be fine um also but to be fair you said you bought the same exact size pants. Don't worry. No adjustments. Don't worry. These dance moves that I've been doing since college are still in the locker.

Don't worry. It's not going to change anything. But then I just don't like that we went with straight outfit choices. You know what I mean? The low cut tanks those things are awful those things were so bad dude with some dress pants too oh you can see really confuse the paparazzi you can see way too much of me in those shirts um you can see my goddamn happy trail and from the side which is just like that's a lot um and ripping the pants

too just lots of under cleavage of things and but it's gonna so then i'm gonna and then it's hot i think i liked cory and zach's drafts both a lot um oh it's so hard to choose between them i i think i'm gonna go cory um fair cory by by the smallest inch like by like literally the smallest inch short king inch exactly um i loved okay can i can i do my can i do my quick my i have just some quick notes on the draft draft yourself go for it okay so first off you called me preston rooksbury carmine's the third the entire draft when i am very much the second but it's fine um we're drafting your future spawn straight off the bat burn saying he's gonna beat off somebody with my tins on accident was the best thing that's been

said on this podcast i hope that's a sound um yeah i got it like if you need to beat someone off with it it's so good it's just so good like i the last thing i ever would have expected when you draft my fucking timberlands is somehow that leading to you saying you're gonna beat people off with them um and then uh my next note zach saying um the rook's two fist absolute slapper i want to trademark that absolute fucking slapper of a choice fucking beautiful um oh yeah so the bait and then i have another note so the bacon nipple band-aid i cut my nipple trying to prepare for the toga party so your boy for the viewers out there um who don't know your boy's got some hair on his body um so we're going to this toga party and i'm like oh man like they're

not gonna want to see all this all this chest fur you know what i'm saying so your boy took a fucking straight razor lathered up the whole chest in a shaving cream almost ripped my entire nipple off it was so painful i was in i was in bad shape in that uh in that shower um but shout out to that bacon band-aid and i can also attest it looks so much worse with the band-aid on because like if you're not close it did just look like an open wound it It was fucking disgusting. Looked bad. I got two more points. Rhonda not getting an actual draft pick made me kind of sad. That was it was a great honorable mention. And then like just she could have put you over the edge.

Bet you would have been number one if you actually drafted Rhonda. If anyone drafted Rhonda, they were going to be number one for the viewers. Rhonda, my old f-150 shout out to the cutie with the extra long booty she had a big ass booty on her i missed that truck um and then my last note you guys said you couldn't pick my hair if one of you had actually drafted my hair i probably would have like teared up and like like sent you a text message saying like really nice things because i'm not here to boost your ego though you know that that would have that would have been the sweetest thing that any of you boys have ever done for me um and it was pretty unanimous we all said that at the very

beginning we're just like we all know the number one draft pick right and we're like yeah we all can't do that so we all wanted to okay hey as long as long as the idea was there i guess i can deal with that but overall i i was i was super nervous when the idea was first presented i was like oh god i'm gonna get just buried to shit here um and it wasn't that bad and i appreciate you guys for that yeah we prefaced the draft as well with we're drafting nice things right because i we started making lists and we're like oh we should we should not just bury rooks when he's not yes i was i was very nervous when i saw in the description that you guys did a rooks draft i was fucking booty hole was clenched tight i will tell you um

but it was it was a good draft and i i was a fan of everyone's draft. Thoughts on Zabumafu? Oh, yeah. Did you make it to the end of the episode? So I will say I am a bit of a narcissist. I only listen to the Rooks draft and I turn it off. I'm so sad. I'm so sorry, boys. We had a good solid 30 minutes about Zabumafu.

It was a long time. I looked at the time stamp when we started talking about it. We got 30 minutes left. We talked about it for 30 minutes about Zabuma Fu at the end. It was a long time. I looked at the time stamp when we started talking about it. We got 30 minutes left. We talked about it for 30 minutes. Highly informative though. And got a lot of good names for the future for our kids.

Don't steal them. Hey. Can't put that out into the world. We got like a 50 minute episode about it my guy it's already out there this is literally just puts things out to the world all right well we could change topics uh do you want to interpret a dream i had again yes i have a dream as well you want to double double interprets all right double up how do you guys feel about dream catchers though actually i feel like they're overpriced when you're a kid i have a quick story about dream

catchers um your boy um used to always sleep with one used to have bad dreams when i was little little scared boy little scared chunk boy um but there's still one in my old room and i slept at my parents house the other day and i had some of the most fucked up dreams i've ever had in my life so i was like do you as you get older does this dream catcher like turn on you and it's like hey fucker like i'm a little overflowed here okay i got a few years on my uh on my dash right now like you gotta get the oil change all the bad dreams five months though so that's right i didn't take the auto Autozone. That's true. Does it catch? Does it catch dream so it only lets the nightmares through? Yeah, that's it you gotta flip it around the other way

You got it set to end for nightmares sorry to interrupt what what are the dreams let let doctor let doctor uh tell you what's going on in your brain just doctor uh just doctor nightmare i was gonna say it's awesome wrestle it's a sweet wrestler name doctor nightmare and the finishing move is the night terror yo that's kind of hard or the dream catcher that's true that's a good one too yeah okay sorry go ahead all right all right dreams mine's quick so tell me what you think wait hold on hold on time out the name of the wrestler the name of the wrestler is going to be dr nightmare finishing move is going to be the dream catcher there we go sorry i feel like insomnia should be somewhere in there too

that'll be a secondary finisher that'll be um that'll be a submission move there you go does he like got you when they come down the ramp he's just like they open the curtain or whatever and he's just always asleep and then he has to sit up every time his uh his intro song is dream on by aerosmith no enter sandman come on oh dang it oh shit sorry brian sponsored by the wwe i had a dream that i had a daughter, and she was four weeks old. Why I know that, I don't know. But she was four weeks old. Thanks.

Did she say it? I was talking to her. She was like three foot tall. Not a four-week-old baby, but it was like a sort of small child for some reason. And we're talking, and she wanted to enter an MMA tournament, so we entered her into an MMA tournament. And surprise, she lost because she's four weeks old but like she's like a small adult still but like she lost and was like walking out of the arena i was like talking to whoever was next to me i was like it's okay she's only four weeks old and i have no idea how any of that makes any sense i already so in the future don't don't let me let my children fight i just think this is you watching too many hasbulla videos

oh yeah oh my gosh it's just manifesting yeah and also i have a question so like you entered her in mma fights and you said she was four weeks old did i hear that right correct okay so was she fighting four year old for four week olds or was she fighting four-year-old for four-week-olds or was she fighting 10-year-olds or like full-on MMA fighters? So it's like inverse as Bula. She's actually four weeks old, but she looks like 10. I don't remember the size of the opponents. She just like didn't lie to you and say like I'm four weeks old, but she's actually 10. It's my daughter.

So hopefully I would know how old she is 10 years is so such a tough difference cory's out here analyzing the logic of burns hypothetical four-week-old mma fighting daughter in its dream why else are we here i appreciate the deep dive dr uh nightmare what's your analysis doctor nightmare i don't even find i don't even know where to start with that one holy fuck it made me really want to have a kid though because like this is tight they could go fight and i could just watch and be like so that might be illegal

yeah they didn't say anything though it was like underground i guess i don't have i don't have i i'm not gonna lie nothing i've been in i've been in this occupation the doctor i've been in this occupation for literal weeks now um i got four weeks or 10 years got him zach what was your what was your dream? So my dream was Friday night. It was post another failed hinge relationship. And then I decided to pound some NyQuil to go to bed. So which NyQuil always gives me weird dreams. So my dream, I was on death row for convicted of murdering somebody, but I didn't do it.

So I was trying to like convince them I didn't do it, but they also didn't, I wasn't locked up. They would let me just walk around outside. And then eventually when it got to the time for my execution, I had to like call my mom and talk to her and tell her that I was going to die. And it was very sad. And then I gave my dad a big hug cause my dad was with me, but my mom wasn't.

So I gave my dad a big hug and then I walked into the room with the chair and then i woke up immediately what was your last meal that's tough i didn't have a last meal 14 tortillas could you imagine me dying and then don't you poop when you die could you imagine me dying and then just all the oh my god just fucking shitting oh my might be the only way to get it all out of your body my guy yeah that's terrifying definitely set to one bow instead of jumbo i don't know yeah you need to you need to flip that uh that dream catcher around bud you need to maybe put in a different spot i don't know thanks for that analysis i i think it means you like your dad away more than you're like I was gonna say actually there for you I feel like you just like you feel like your mom doesn't love you, but your dad does

That's the insight that I'm getting and you eat way too much way too many tacos as well I know we made that up, but I still think that's somehow related to your dream true Well also how do we know that you didn't kill anybody you know it's an important you're just defending yourself are you sure did you kill somebody in an mma fight who looked like they might have been four weeks old was it a small child how sweet would dream cross don't twins do that don't they can't don't think like crossover dreams like how sweet would that be if you could choose like hey me and cory want to have be in the same dream tonight we can we can be dream buds and then we can cross extremes baby yeah oh it would be a nightmare man i don't want anyone else controlling

my dream i'm already like afraid of my own thoughts. When my thing is like, I don't want to like my dreams is straight chaotic energy. Like it's just only random weird shit happening all times. I don't need any more variables from other people's chaotic brain. Like I need to just, it needs to just be me. Like I can't, I can't double up. It's just like somebody gets to view it.

Like they don't contribute to your dream, but then you can like, you both wake up or like, I don't, is this, I assume you have to be sleeping at wake up or like, I don't, is this, I assume you have to be sleeping at the same time. This weird, stupid superpower that we just made up.

So like you sleep at the same time. Like I could just view like Zach's dream and be like, man, that was crazy. Like, I feel like you get mixed up between reality and what's a dream. Then if you could actually talk to somebody about it and be like, remember last week when Zach almost like was murdered on death row yeah i don't like this path this is a elon musk and

neural link kind of move it's the perfect time to cue the inception horn i know you've had that shit loaded up for weeks now cue that shit too this is the plot of inception before thank you that's a horn that's all i've got all right you need to actually go through all of the movie inception and put that in whenever the sound comes on oh my fucking god that'd be so totally not ruin it about it'll be the next biggest thing since somebody sped up the b movie every time they say b i've watched it so many times it's about a minute and a half long we should do a b movie analysis because i feel like that movie doesn't get talked about for how crazy it is the lady wants to fuck the lady wants to

fuck the b i feel like it does get talked about a lot it's more ridiculous that we're talking about seinfeld i think yeah well the the bee what's up with all this honey trying to have sex with 11 that's really good hit the fucking intro i'm so angry right now that I'm hearing side B more B. What's the deal with Wednesdays? B more B. It is Wednesday in my game. My nipples are hard now. Number one, remove your bra. I like nuts. This is in my butt.

I'm ready to go. Golf is a sexy thing. My dick will go like, boop, and just flip inside out, and it'll turn into a vagina. And you take me. Hi, boys. Intercourse, Pennsylvania. You leave the butter in the crack. Why is my spaghetti fizzy? I want to kiss you on the Hi, boys. Intercourse, Pennsylvania. You leave the butter in the crack. Why is my spaghetti

fizzy? I want to kiss you on the mouth, baby. God damn, he's so good. Yeah, he calls me big time. Ah, ah, ah.

Wow, wow, what booty. Of course, it makes me dookie. If you just wanted to slurp something and then spit it back, and then I swallow.

I want to die. Raw dog and lower. Kid turkey, baster nipples. He's got slop. The rock stick has anchor arms. I think I gotta

get out of here. I don't out of here. I'm gonna get the paint broke. I don't fucking... Great question. Who has vertical butt cheeks? To the death. No, Bob, look it down. I'll see if I fuck it

like it's fucking game, man. It is Wednesday, my dude. Ah! Episode 64. Rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock rock rock rock hey boyos are back all four of us are here rooks is back from his special vacation oh how was training for the uh winter olympics rooks sorry i should say apollo it wasn't ideal um um not ideal did not help the lungs out to not help um my organs out we're probably in worse

shape than we were before training to be honest all right you can get back at it uh we have zach hello we have cory hello everybody old lady hello and i'm brian hello um what the fuck was that that was a missed out fire she pulls her face out from the the fridge what is that what is that movie about again oh so see this is nine people and they want to steal some money from the okay um it's a grab bag episode. We don't have a plan, but we're each going to bring in some random topic. But first, talk about our weeks. Tell us a story that happened. Zach, who'd you murder?

I didn't murder anybody that I know of. I didn't really do much this weekend, man. It's been raining by you guys? You guys haven't seen some rain? Yeah, big rain day over here. It's been a little goopy a little wet too far south what too far south never rains in the south so fair not man um yeah i didn't i mean i don't really do too much um friday nothing saturday what do you do sat? Yeah, nothing really. Saturday. Sunday, ate some pizza and wings. Shirtless on my couch. That's the way to do it.

Yeah, man. It was pretty chill. This upcoming weekend is going to be a juicy one, though. Got the parents coming in, so I got to entertain them for a couple days. Mother's Day. Going to try to do the spin zone where I buy my mom one gift, and then she, in return, buys me 10 gifts because she lives in away and misses me um and then also saturday's the derby so we're going to a off-track betting place and we're

getting like a big with all my friends we were getting like a huge like box type of area and so we're gonna bet the ponies so i will also i need assignment i need you guys to look at the horses pick any race at the kentucky derby pick a horse and i will bet five dollars personally on it for you and for every viewer that calls in and picks one every viewer that calls in and picks a horse you'll also have to put five dollars down yeah i'm like okay I'll be fine. All right, nice. It sounds like you did absolutely nothing this week. I mean, I'm sure. Yeah, dude, I really did for the last time.

Yeah. Okay. What's the list? What's the damage? This is what we're always here for. So I actually ate pretty healthy through Saturday. The problem is I had a salad before. That's how it goes.

Yeah. The problem is I had a salad before. That's how it goes. Yeah. The problem is I had a salad before I went out on Saturday, which absolutely wrecked my chances of being sober for, or not being super drunk for an extended period of time. Because I had two drinks and boom, I was gone. But anyway, woke up Sunday. Salad can't really combat RBVs that well. Correct. Correct. So Sunday, woke up,

I had four eggs, five sausage links, a sweet potato, a bottle of Celsius, a can of Celsius for breakfast. Uh, then for lunch, what did I have for lunch?

I don't think I had anything for, maybe a couple ice cream bars. And then for dinner was I don't think I had anything. Maybe a couple ice cream bars. And then for dinner was my big thing where I had the medium pizza and the eight wings that I ordered. That's a light day for you, man. I'm shocked. Dude, it was pretty. I felt really good on Monday. You okay? Yeah, I felt really good on Monday.

I felt good. Yeah. I think eating all of those carb-balanced tortillas, you know how when you see the light or a drug user finally gets clean? That's how I felt. It was your rock bottom. Pretty much, exactly.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. So how would you rate your week? Hmm. I would rate it... $100 pre-1 dollars at the kentucky derby i like it rooks how's your week i'd like to say

rating your past weekend with a future rating like a future weekend rating so first first time we've seen it we're on episode 64 congratulations that's some inception level stuff but yeah so your boy uh friday went and played some golf your boy shot at 93 we were getting juicy out there um this weekend though went to a music festival in dc called project glow big big edm guy um and yeah it was a grand old time uh saturday your boy we got after it um you know it's the first day of the festival you're feeling jacked up you're ready to go spent um way too much money on beer each tall boy was 15 and um i was ordering in rounds of two

and then i got pretty i got a little intoxicated and then when i got intoxicated i started tipping on these for some fucking stupid reason that i fucking hate um those those two were for you yeah what would what's that called oh the rooks two-fist baby trademark um but yeah so uh spent way too much on fucking beer but saturday was great um speaking of thruple there was this and we think there were a thruple but it's like these three people were just there was the last set of the night we were at diplo they just fucking bob their head in unison with their arms around each other for a literal hour and a half and it was the coolest thing i've ever seen in my life um but big dumb boy saturday uh went peed during the last set came back didn't see people they were right next to this one pole um so i stood on one side of the

pole and enjoyed diplo by myself which was fine like i was having a great old time they were shooting fireworks in the fucking sky your boy was vibing but um after like 40 minutes of me doing that i was like maybe i should try to find the people i took one step around the pole they're just on the other side of the pole from me um i had like 15 text messages from people like hey i like are you good like where the fuck are you it was literally six feet away from them so that was lovely woke up sunday not feeling the best but hey we've we rallied we got uh we got a few beers in the system beforehand and like uh our boy zach here talks about the shampoo effect um i had like three

beers and i was like fucking i was in the thruple like my head was fucking bobbing the whole time um showed up sunday chose violence um wanted to get after it and uh we went boys how do you feel so girls go up on shoulders it shows whatever how do you feel about putting your boys up on your shoulders all about it for like five seconds and then you laugh and you drop them and then you move on any move you can do with a girl is a thousand times better with the fellas like but like okay so you're gonna have like a how do you like the sack like hanging on your neck though if you're gonna it's like it's like a neck pad it's remember we talked about the neck pad for a linebacker it's like like acupuncture. It's a good brace.

Butterfly fucking collar. Oh, my God. Yeah, so we were in the crowd for Cruella. These guys in front of us, the dudes are at least 6'6", 6'7", and then they're stacking their boys on their shoulder. Fucking Optimus Prime standing in front of me, dude. This guy is fucking 12 feet tall at least.

They were fucking, thank God, though. They put them down, and they started putting the girls up. This one girl, and I'll send you guys the picture after this. This one girl, so she's wearing what's like, it's kind of underwear-esque. You can see her booty cheeks, but she's up on this guy's shoulders in front of us. On one butt cheek, it says good, and on the other butt cheek it said girl she had a good girl

tattooed on her ass i was like that's so tough like that is so fucking tough it's hilarious but it's not like oh my god it's i'll send you guys a picture because we all like we took a picture like posing behind it oh my god ridiculous um but yeah that's the move i'm proud of you for that one but yeah and then uh just danced my fucking ass off the night the whole festival closed with martin fucking garricks unbelievable set unbelievable festy um yeah i didn't puke either the whole walk home dan said that i said every three steps that I was going to yak and I was going to throw up all over the apartment when I got back. And your boy just laid down and passed out. Monday, yesterday, one of the worst fucking days of my life.

I'm not even going to lie to you. One of the shittiest feelings I've ever had in my life was waking up yesterday. But hey, it's the price of getting after it, boys. I'm getting way too old for this shit my back is killing me my fucking ankles are killing me bro it's terrible you need to fit your rock bottom and see the light like zach has just to reform yourself slightly yeah i we'll see um i'm still searching for that rock bottom i'll tell you what um but yeah it was a great weekend um a lot of a lot of good times

um i'm gonna give my weekend rating a thruple and a good girl also i love how you mentioned thruple you said speaking of thruple and we definitely didn't keep that part of the podcast in the beginning that's true yeah that's that's cutting room floor whoops we're not bringing that back anytime you want to transition into anything just say speaking of people have no idea what you're talking about that's my bad cory how was your week i didn't do jack shit i had a zach weekend i feel like uh thursday so it's it's not part of the weekend but whatever so Thursday we had a work hap not happy hour work outing out of the Pirates game so we got a half day on Thursday which was tight everybody here uh pretty much hates the Pirates because they're always

awful and they suck the life out of them when they were younger so my whole team went we meet up and it's like you know they're throwing first pitch. At least three different guys were like, bet you he fricking jacks this one off the first pitch. And it was also Andrew McCutcheon, which was fantastic. And he's now on the Brewers. First pitch goes yard on him. It was great. You could feel the sigh out of the stadium from all like 300 people there on a Thursday at noon.

It was great, though. Had lots of beer guys went out. We all left at the fourth inning because like everybody was miserable. It was one nothing all the time. People just didn't give a shit. Got a little after it. So was not feeling the best on friday morning uh so had a nice like little recovery night day kind of the whole day i don't even remember what i did friday night to be honest

uh i assume i just watched tv but like i it's beyond me what i did is that like non-memorable probably played xbox all night together and we just don't remember it. Yeah, probably. They all, you know, all the days just like suck into one day now. Then Saturday had a big house day. I guess Saturday and Sunday. Woke up early, couldn't sleep, started picking weeds. So, you know, fun stuff. Jesus Christ. Doing yard work.

That's the most adult-ass shit i've ever heard in my life yeah i woke up at about a 6 a.m couldn't fall back asleep so i figured i'd go yank some of those yank some of the weeds out like that is some old people's shit man i mean like i was racking my brain trying to think of something to do in the morning i just couldn't go to sleep but i'm like i feel like i need to do something so i did that so like did you put on white new balances to go out to the yard no i don't have them yet and i say yet because it's gonna happen um but then went out played 18 holes uh with the biggest hole guy of them all uh and shout out big hole guy we love big hole guys um had a good time i think it was like five hours it took forever on the first nine we're there's oh my god there's this family of like

it was grandma like granddaughter grandson i'm like i'm already out it's it was you bring you bring grandma onto the golf course i'm out bro so like grandma grandpa nope you would think that like you hit the ball not exaggerating 10 feet away from you you would like pick it up take a drop somewhere else i watched this woman basically like she you could have given her a broom and she would have gotten done on the hole quicker than what she did with a driver it was insane she hit the you know like the little golf balls the team like on the tee box like they marked the tee box she swung and hit the ball between her legs and it bounced off the tee box like it was absurd so so dan and i were really like thinking you know are we gonna do nine more luckily they weren't on the back nine uh we had a

uh dog at the turn to start fueled us through the first couple holes, shot great, and then had a dog on the turn going to the back nine. So it was a two-dog type of day. Had a good time. Then we watched, Claire and I watched the new movie banner, or show, Banner Under Heaven? Something? Heaven, I don't know. Under the Banner of Heaven.

Thank you. The one with Andrew Garfield garfield um great uh highly recommend there's two episodes two episodes out it's like a thriller anyway it's pretty good so watch that had a sunday like put together day again claire and i just cleaned the whole entire day so like again super fun um and then that's about it we went to a wedding update of the week was we talked to the priest yesterday because we're having a catholic wedding so we got the date booked for that which like luckily good because we had the venue as per the update last week and they all they say like don't make any, like, social plans until you talk to the church.

And so we went, and the priest was like, so when do you want to get married? And Claire said the day. And he was like, uh, and we, like, held our breaths. Like, it was a lot because we were like, mm. Well, you can only pick one priest? It's, like, the church, like, our church that we go to. So it, like, actually means something to us

before, like, going down the street and just, just like popping in random churches and be like hey you can get another what what means more the church or the priest if you had to pick one uh the church because we literally just formally met the priest today oh yesterday you could have gotten one of us to do it i can get ordained super quick there's like an online course i don't know if the if the catholic church would let you perform that for them but perform that's what the priests do they perform i mean they're showmen you know they they do their little latin singing i really want to hear zach go up there and sing the little like homily i didn't go to catholic school but i went to lutheran school so i can do the chants where they hold the one note and then they hit the do-do-do at the end.

I'm Freddie Mercury, basically. I was about to say Stevie Wonder. I was about to say Stevie Mercury. Stevie Mercury. I will rate my weekend... Before you rate it. Before you rate it, do you have your fetish movie of the week? Oh, good God.

Um, you had him for the last two weeks. Okay. But yeah. So if I could remember what I watched on Friday, I'm sure I would, but I don't got to write these down. I don't have to reclamer for it. The B movies,

the B movies specifically on, uh, the YouTube version sped up every actually zach did hint that it is perverted she likes a b so yeah yeah there you go b movie that's my recommendation of the week um nice and then yeah i'll rank it uh uh one pair of missing new balances. Grass-stained missing new balances. Got to find those bad boys. Quick cue here. Can we actually all get assigned watching the B-movie and then come back next week with some kind of analysis?

Sure. I'm down to clowning. Zach just really wanted to watch the B-movie. It was already penciled in his week, so he's like, yeah. Dude, there's no sports on it. There's no sports on it. Football's not on. The draft is over.

Hockey. Hockey playoffs just started, my guy. Yeah, the Devils are doing great in there, right? No, but I still support the sport, my guy. Also, the Blackhawks aren't either. That's why I'm not watching them. So? You can still bet on it, my my guy and lose a lot of money bra guy how was your weekend thanks rooks uh movie recommendation

unbearable way to massive talent the nick cage movie actually really good it's funny because it's nick cage and he's strange and it's like really meta and it talks about all his old movies because he literally plays himself in it like he plays nick cage as a like poor bankrupt actor who has to go to some dude's birthday party for a million dollars because he's like rich and that that guy ends up being like a drug billionaire and cops get involved everything but actually really well done um there's a scene where he makes out with himself incredible because he hallucinates like a young version of nick cage throughout the entire movie you're gonna tell me the first movie that you're gonna give kudos to on this podcast that you say you enjoy is the fucking nick cage movie where he makes out with himself oh yeah god damn it burn

hey you brought this up before i said the batman was good we've talked about that i've said other good movies can bruce wing make out with himself in the batman in my mind he did all right um i ran around unc this weekend uh all their buildings corey look like the prison in pittsburgh across the street from where i used to live so like i don't recommend going to unc just doesn't look nice uh nice trees good grass quotient for a campus but like literally looks like a prison i know penn state's dorms look like a prison when you're inside them but from the outside they look like a normal building unc gross uh then went to a north carolina fc match it's like a tier three professional soccer

team um it was pretty cool uh they're like one league under the riverhounds cory from pittsburgh they're like tier two this team's like they're really down there they're really down there um but i was looking them up like apparently there's a two billion dollar proposal for a stadium downtown in Raleigh if they ever get promoted to MLS or something. Jesus. Wild. Is their mascot the Wieners?

The entire city. It should be. That's dude. It should be. I don't even know what their mascot is, to be honest. I've got another idea that we could do. Corey Rooks and myself should all look at stuff for Brian to do on the weekends, and he has to do it.

Oh, I'm 100% on it. I love it. Or at the very least, pick one of them. Pick his favorite one out of the three. Yeah. So this is my last week in Raleigh. I'll be in D.C. this weekend. All right, the next city.

You pick something for me and Rooks to both be forced to do. You have to make out with each other. Oh, already on the list. Say less. I'll underline it again. something for me and Rooks to both be forced to do. You have to make out with each other. Already on the list. Say less! I'll underline it again. Try to build superpowers where you can be in each other's

dreams, like we talked about. Boom. Focus on that. Did you just recommend us to build superpowers? All you need is toxic sludge or a child childhood trauma so i was just i was just okay i was just confirming that that was got it yeah double down on it buy us a couple's massage so we have to hold hands and be naked around each other yeah so so you want me to buy that right yes please okay appreciate it all right um also this morning at 8 a.m the sheriff showed up at the next door to me

and they like handed him a paper and he left but man he was banging on that door i was really excited something was gonna happen i was like peeking out through the blinds and it was super civil you know is this like a really dumb thing but like when you hear the sheriff like yeah do you audit does your mind automatically go to the south because my mind automatically is like the sheriff's in town like i'm automatically i went to like the united states like i think sheriff's like a actual like position though in like a police whatever. I think it is too. And the reason I said sheriff is because like his car literally said sheriff on the outside of it. Are you sure it wasn't Sharif?

My boy Sharif's knocking on the door. You need to come down. That would be hilarious. I think you'd get in trouble if you had Sharif written on your car. And you had like black and white paint and lights on top. Don't think you're getting away with a spelling mistake. But rating for the week. Two Nick Cages making out with themselves in prison.

Jesus. That was a good one. Prison Cage. I hate you. Hey, we were talking about gay marriage earlier per our last conversation so all right somebody grabbed some bags i just needed that sigh god damn it so anyone have everyone want to go first cory went last week so yo if you could be a transformer What would you transform into

Wait Dreamcatcher next question Like you could transform Into anything and then like you'll Turn into like a Decepticon I'm reverse transforming basically because I'm already A living moving humanoid like Thing so I would basically transform

Into the car or something else Yeah okay Skyscraper. Dumb. That's fucking stupid. Why? It would be sick. You just want to like stand there?

This man burns it. Get all these people inside of me, bro. Chill out. Hey, quiet. That's for the after hours podcast. No, like you ever, if you woke up and on the news, they're like, well, there's a 100-story building in Charlotte this morning that showed up overnight.

You know how confused people would be? It'd be great. Cause of mayhem. But you're turning into... The person on this podcast who relates every single scenario we talk about into fucking fighting and killing people, when he has the opportunity to scenario we talk about into fucking fighting and killing people.

When he has the opportunity to transform into something fucking awesome, he's like, I'm gonna play a prank on an entire city. I'm gonna fucking turn into a building. Come on, man. If a skyscraper falls over on you, you're dead. I can kill a lot of people. It's happened before. Do you need a history

lesson? Oh. Good God. Burn. Hey, you had to insult me, and I had to keep giving details. I'm trying to think of an inanimate object that's not technological. You say transformer, and I just think technology. Well, it's got to move, right? I can't pick anything that's stationed not technological. You say transformer and I just think like technology. Well, it's got to move, right? I can't pick anything that's stationary. No, it doesn't apparently.

Zach, do you think there's any fucking rules with this shit? No, I'm just saying like if I want to enjoy my life as a transformer, I want it to move. You can walk around as a human though. You can either fly or drive real fast yeah oh man yeah or it could be like a toaster true toasters are pretty sweet

no um this man burn loves the idea of things going inside of him i just just want to say that hey you're the one who brought that up, I just want to say that. Hey, you're the one who brought that up. I was just trying to confuse. There's one thing that connects toasters and buildings. My guy, it's things go inside of them. Oh,

okay. That's like, okay. I guess that could be metal too. I want that to be an SAT question of like toaster is is to skyscraper, like Rooks is to whatever. And it's just like people going inside them. Guys, you got to give an answer. I mean, I'll sign the best one.

I think of like traditional Transformers stuff. So I want to say like spaceship. I want to see space. Like you can go out there. Like at least I'm not a skyscraper. Like I'm going somewhere,, seeing some new things. I'll say that. Skyscrapers don't have to breathe.

I could take a flight to outer space, turn into a building, and then just fly through outer space. I could have passengers. I could bring a whole civilization with me. You're a building rocket ship now? No, no, no. You fling my entire body into outer space i transform someone's and then what what you just want to float around in space as a skyscraper yeah yeah until you hit into something and then you turn into a human and walk around because oh my it's a foolproof plan i don't like

any of this what the fuck are you saying? I don't like this either. Maybe like a razor scooter would be cool. I hear you just fucking up people's ankles, bro. Yeah. Like imagine if you were, like this would be, a razor scooter would be perfect if I was getting bullied in the 6th grade because then you'd transform into a razor

scooter and your bully would come and be like, oh sweet, a razor scooter. I'm going to take this and then you would be able able to whiplash them in the ankle super hard, hopefully crack their femur, and then they would bully you anymore. Also, I'd have orange wheels. Or you could be a building guy. You have a bully. And they're like, oh, have a job interview. And you turn into a building and they walk inside.

Then they walk towards the building and you fall on them before they get to you. You see? You fucking see? You see? If they walk inside the building and then you transform back into a human, what happens? Do they, like, shrink down in size as well? Also, man, you're getting bullied. This guy's going to a job 35 getting bullied i mean i had friends in high school had jobs in middle school who had jobs sorry continue i want to keep hearing this continue okay yeah yeah yeah no so i'm thinking

either there's two options if someone's inside the building when you transform either they just explode or they like shrink you explode because like if they were gonna be the size of a human i'm fine oh yeah but like they're inside you so i'm thinking it's like a you're the skin of that person type of thing so you would like human human me is still transformer made out of like metal or whatever the optimus prime transformer made out of like metal or whatever the optimus prime's made out of stuff what what are buildings what all right let's get into this what type of skyscraper are you gonna be you're gonna be you know brick are you gonna be you know metal like super nice brick skyscrapers cory you know how much brick that would take

that's a very fair point. I think I need to be a brick skyscraper. Can I just be a castle? You know how heavy that would be? You're getting better. You know, the more we talk about this, his answer is getting better. So keep going.

I'm telling you. He's a castle now. That's actually kind of dope. Stone? Got a little tiny emote at the front. Put a telescope on top. See you around. Is dragon still on the table?

Could I circle Brian's castle? tiny moat at the front put a telescope on top see around is dragon still on the table could i like could i like circle brian's castle now you can transform into a dragon okay this isn't transformers now you're like what's that shit animorphs bro you're like the fucking people those books from back in the day people turning into animals i think i googled transformers Dragon and in Transformers 5 the last night the Decepticons are our dragon. Who the fuck watched that movie? It's so bad. Apparently not you.

Corey, what was the last one we watched? That might have been that one. No, it's the one with Marky Mark. Mark in it. The first one with Marky Mark. It's the one with Marky Mark in it. Yeah, but there were dinosaurs. The first one with Marky Mark is one of the worst movies I've ever watched in my life.

The second one's worse with Marky Mark. I can't imagine watching the second one after watching the first one. Oh my fucking god. Me and Corey spent... It was Age of Extinction, I think think is what it was yeah me and cory watched that shit

and both ended up skipping multiple classes because we were just sitting there watching it like what the fuck is this like we couldn't it was a car crash you just can't look away from it it was so bad it was a slow day at the office what did marky mark transform into a honk a dumbass

boo all right rook since you want to criticize our answers on what we're transforming into into a castle a dragon and a toaster uh what are you picking um so i like i like the idea of being first off gotta be able to fly 110 i have to to get some hang time. Duck. Razor scooter. But I want something that's not intimidating at all. Duck. Hot air balloon. I'm gonna be just a hot air balloon floating

over the city. Floating over New York City and everyone's like, what the fuck is this hot air balloon? And then machine guns come out. And everyone's like, do-do this hot air balloon and then machine guns come out like that shit would be so hard like that would be so tough hot air balloon easy all right i'm gonna give you a situation i'm to explain what's gonna happen give it to me so you have a high school bully um and to get back at him you buy him a a groupon for a hot air balloon ride he takes okay here's what happens no no

i'm not done so no so he gets out to the field he gets inside you answer fuck yeah win for me but number two here's what happens he's like oh sweetheart i got the sweet date for us let's go up on the sky we can make out in the clouds we get up to say that to you we get up top i'm gonna transform my face into like the basket part and i'm gonna hit them with the ejecto cito cuz and i'm gonna yell that shit they're gonna yeet it out of the hot air balloon goodbye no more bully problems and then cory swoops in and they land on a dragon's back and they swing around, go right through the balloon part of you and you just fall straight to the ground. And then they go live on top of the castle and they make toast with Zach.

You don't think it's a transformer. I'm a simple hole. Oh, sorry. You're both. You're a razor scooter with a toaster functionality. Give me the idea of what Brian has to do. And I guess rooks, yourian has to do and i guess

rooks you guys have to do a hot air balloon ride no no no if you're gonna no are you afraid of it i do not fuck with the idea of being a hot air balloon at all but you want to transform into one my guy i'll be fine if i am a hot air balloon i'll be perfectly fine i'll have crazy robotic him turning into it i'll be like i'll be like i'll be able to fly and shit like i'll be fine your boy right now one can't fly two can't transform into something that can fly um i've been in one to corey just disappear i had to plug my computer in. Okay. Wow. I was under the desk. He's a microphone. You were there and then you were gone.

Decepticons. Houdini. I've been on hot air balloon though. They actually don't like move around much. They're like very not sketchy once you're actually up in there. I can't do it. Cause you think it's like this little rinky dink thing is going to be like bouncing around everywhere. And it's like, it's really smooth. I can't do it. Because you'd think it's like this little rinky-dink thing is going to be bouncing around everywhere and it's really smooth.

I'm out. All right. I'll take Mendy. Don't worry. It'll be romantic. Do you get turbulence in a hot air balloon? Not that I was aware of. Only the song. Sometimes the little John Steve Yogivie song they'll play

on there for people at requests but like it's not like you don't experience it you know what do you guys thoughts on arranged marriage love it that's what claire and i did say we're getting pretty close brother if i get any older okay two for two rooks uh i think it sounds dumb but like i know it's like a cultural thing so like two for three okay um so on netflix they added the show love at first sight season 10 all 16 episodes each like an hour and 15 minutes long i watched all of them this week i forgot to say that during my weekly recap um it's great it's so good it all ends so horribly what's the premise of this shit so they like all sign up they like talk with like a therapist there's like four different people there's like a psychotherapist whatever marriage counselor

and they like then those people pair people up for that like showed up to the workshop or whatever and they literally like walk down the aisle and they say i do and that's where they like meet each other like is that shit like is it like a legal marriage you know i'm saying like is it like yeah yeah yeah because they talk about that they're like and shit like now you guys have like combined assets and shit well so i don't know how all that ends up working but like the wild on the reunion one of the chicks was like yeah he wouldn't sign the divorce papers so we had to like hound him down to find him so he would actually sign them that's fucking crazy it's crazy so like it's illegally binding marriage and everything um and they make them tell their parents and everything beforehand and like obviously surprisingly only one person's there

was eight four couples five couples only one person's... There was four couples. Five couples? Only one person's parents was not about it. Everyone else was like, oh, good for you. I'll support it. I was like, I'm shocked. I would not expect anybody's parents to be all on board. How old were they? Not the parents, the couples.

I think the youngest was like 26. Most were like 29 or 30. I want this show to be like a bunch of like 40-year-olds. You know what I'm saying? Like a bunch of like people. That's why you used to let like the old Bachelor used to be like older people that were like not lovable people. Because they're like actually into it. I want people fucking desperate who are just like

yeah we just ignored every red flag like we're just gonna do this i mean you don't think people who are saying i guess yeah i guess that's fair i'm not gonna date anybody i'm just gonna say give me somebody to marry for the rest of my life and i'll figure it out aren't desperate because like some of the people on the show are like pretty average looking or whatever but like not average enough that you need to just give up on life. And there's one dude who's like a model. It ends poorly. But like you saw him at first, like, yes, it's going to work out because like obviously he's like just here to be on Instagram.

Yeah. But season 10 apparently is like the most ridiculous one. I love when people that aren't like on camera show up. So there's like drama with the producers. There's drama with an ex and there's drama with one of the guys starts talking to his wife's friend like on the side like behind her back love that it's awesome it's so good what the fuck obviously a lot of these marriages don't work out. It's a train wreck. Yeah, no fucking shit. But apparently the other seasons, they're pretty normal.

This is just the worst one so far. It's a good watch. Oh, my fucking God. What the hell? He says it's on Netflix? Oh, yeah. Jesus. I mean, I'm going to watch it, but fuck.

Yeah, you should. I watched the John Wayne Gacy documentary on Netflix. Yeah, I watched that. Did he get married at first sight? No. No, he started talking to his wife's sister. Oh. Mm-hmm.

I don't know how to transition off of this, but okay. Yeah, what a dark fucking turn. Jesus Christ. I'm sure we watched on Netflix. It also took place in Chicago, so you can, I was like, I was like, hey, I know what they're talking about. Like, he turned off of this street. And I was like, I don't know where that is. Or he went to this place.

I'm like, I don't know where that is. Do you like clowns? No, I do clowns. I'm out on clowns. Okay. Out on clowns. Clowns are bad. Remember when there was a phase where people were just dressing up as clowns and just standing in the street and shit when we were in college?

That was cool. Fuck that, dude. I mean, I'd rather have that than World War III going on right now or COVID. But, like, weren't people, like, getting killed? Like, weren't there a few, like, killer clowns? Like, that's not cool. Oh, yeah. So there were people killing.

But, like like the most accurate video i saw was like this one was trying to be free like this clown's just standing in the middle of this fucking like empty ass road this dude gets out of his car with a bat and just runs up and starts like swinging i was like dude i would fucking kill this clown like i would take like it would be full survival instinct like you you come out and you're playing a fucking joke you think this is funny you got your tiktok live up congratulations buddy you're dead on tiktok it's not following the guidelines it's getting taken down no clout for you anyway like it would just be awful does anyone know why clowns are like a thing

sack can this be like our lemur segment can you just like start looking up like the origin of clowns and like figure it out yep i don't understand i don't understand the pros of it like i guess like entertaining like did it like did it like originate from maybe like jester jester yeah jesters and stuff who would just like do stupid shit to make like the king laugh this was a bad idea because now google images is just filled with creepy clowns and i don't go on images. Go on the web part of it. He asked for the history and Zach goes straight to Google Images. Dude, there's a thing called clown therapy

or medical clowning. Are you on Urban Dictionary? Medical clowning? That sounds like someone's just roasting your injuries or some shit yeah it's literally roasting you it's like a real therapeutic thing let me see medical clowning is an effective therapy work in working with patients with dementia because it is an interdisciplinary expressive therapy by its very nature integrating several skills of drama music what do you do they basically send clowns to like nursing home no uh-uh if i'm losing my mind and don't have any memory and i wake up in a nursing

home there's a clown there be like i'm gonna punch the hell out of that clown there's no that's not good when you first when you first started explaining it, I thought you said, like, they dress the dementia people up as clowns and send them out. Because it's, like, their form of, like, they can, like, express themselves and shit. I was like, bro, what is this shit? Like, what the fuck are we talking about? Who does this? I'm more on board for that. I'm more on board for that.

Give them some way to express themselves. Honk their noses a couple of times. Don't have a clown in the corner of the room where they don't even remember your name anyways. Medical clowning. What the fuck? So fucking weird. The best part of the clown thing in like 2017 was there were people dressing up like Batman and like hanging around elementary schools to like protect the kids and i was like this is actually dope like this is like legitimately they're

actually doing what batman kind of would do and clown is literally his like rival i was like this is strange as hell all for it though yeah i'm not gonna be honest clown clown history way too in-depth the zabumafu history was like like a paragraph and wikipedia the clown wikipedia article surprisingly long you you're surprised that like clowns in general much longer history than a very specific lemur with a tv show yes yes dude what a show when brian spliced that into the pod last week i got so hyped oh yeah it's such a banger of a theme song bro i'll give you credit you're spot on on your like right recreation of it i was impressed yeah yeah like come on along and sing i just don't know the words

but the the what's your favorite oh here we. You guys have channel 11 when you were like, is that what that channel existed? But like, I don't know what it was like PBS for us. It had like, yeah. It had like, yeah. Shout out PBS. A great showbs a great show a great channel uh zoom goaded arthur goaded

um what else dragon tales school bus magical school bus is it the magic school bus liberty kids banger i don't know what accent that was but we just threw one out fuck it that was a little weird

do you remember liberty kids when they like transported back in time to the American Revolution So I kind of do remember that right Weird put the Liberty put the Liberty kids theme song right in here Brian. Oh, I'll find it. Okay. Maybe I didn't have channel 11. That was the channel we watched when the cable went out. It sucked. You got to watch Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network only. Angry Beavers.

Great show. Unless Static Shock is on WB, then you're watching WB. What? Do you watch Static Shock Zone? What's WB? Chalk Zone. That one was sick. It was sweet.

Yeah, and you could draw and teleport or whatever the frick it was dude that guy had so many chalkboards around him though I've seen one chalkboard ever and that man had chalkboards in every room yeah since college that show now would be like you have to use iPads and then it would be a lot less cool.

Yo, did PBS have Reading Rainbow? Was that PBS? Yes. Or in between the two. Which one had Skahn? Which one had like Puff the Magic Dragon? That's Reading Rainbow? That was old school.

Yo, Reading Rainbow had some fucking bars in that intro song. Oh my god, bro. Dude, no. In between the lions but it was supposed to pronounce like lines it would take the place in a library remember like cliffhanger he's hanging from a cliff and that's why he's called cliffhanger wow you watch so much you have a good memory put the cliffhanger sound brian put the cliffhanger sound in here right now. Bro, you're watching PBS instead of Nickelodeon?

Dude, we didn't have cable when I was little. So my parents, we only had antennas. So I literally could watch Fox News, CBS News, ABC News, NBC News, or PBS. And PBS was the only one with kid shows on oh that's what you just do

extra homework so you can get out of the house earlier just move a few grades up hit 13 and be like yeah mama moving out i need cable like bro not being able to experience spongebob like fucking christ that hurts every parent thought like spongebob was gonna make everybody like stupid as shit well it did it did yeah well it worked it didn't make people stupid i turned out great i love that shit bro spongebob was banging and there's like there's like i want to be a hot air balloon if i could transform dude that'd be sick be tough, bro. I don't care what you say. It's my answer. But there's accounts now

on Twitter that will post just old clips from SpongeBob that are funny as shit. They have no business holding up as well as they do, and they're great. The Texas episode is greatest fall time, easily.

Wrong. I remember rolling on the floor. The snow fort one. It's not the greatest. Snow, easily. Wrong. I remember rolling on the floor. The snow fort one. It's not the greatest. Snow fort one. It's a classic. That's a good one. Come on.

The flying Dutchman one. Or, no, no, the one where they have the map, and they're trying to find the very treasure. Is that not the flying Dutchman one? Getting lost in, when he gets lost at the freaking town with the bus that goes straight up the... Rock Bottom. Yeah, that one.

It's an annoying episode. It's always on, and you have to hear them go... That way. That's how they speak. In my opinion, it's tough to beat any of the Doodle Bob episodes, man. Doodle Bob. That man brought heat to the table texas what do you think delivery watched again i'm gonna save it i'm gonna save it

phil will go on a tangent of like spongebob songs we should just like rank those at some point we have so many things for next week b a b movie is the assignment next week all right next week we are ranking spongebob songs we are watching b movie and we're getting horses for zach to pick for the kentucky derby and zach's gonna rank this past weekend based on events of this weekend coming up is it wait isn't the derby this upcoming weekend? Yeah, here, I'll look it up right now and you can just pick them on the fly. Alright, we'll end with that. We can't give Zach picks after it happens.

I'm going to pick the one with the most sexually aggressive name. Which one has the biggest penis? Yeah, do they have that on there? Because not that one. It's going to weigh him down. Give me the smallest penis horse. Alright, so I'm not going to give you the odds. It's going to weigh him down. Give me the smallest, penest horse. All right, so I'm not going to give you the odds.

I'm going to just give you the name of the horse. Yeah, perfect. For sure. Easily. And then, so I'm going to read them down, and when you like the horse you want,

you have to, like, say that's the one. So it's, I'm not, you don't get to pick it at the end. Like, if you wait till the end, you pick the last horse. Okay.

All right, ready? How many horses are there? We need to know that first. There are one, two, three, five, ready okay uh zandon epicenter messier that one messier okay yeah five dollars Epicenter. Messier. That one. Messier? Okay. Yeah. $5 to win a Messier for Corey. Shout out to hockey player.

I had, yeah, I had to do it. White. Abreu. Mo. Mo. Dong. Mo. Dungal.

That one. Is that what you're doing? You can take a burn. You can take a burn. I'm taking that one. Mo. Dungal. Give me dong. Dung okay um taiba smile happy crown pride charge it

simplification cyber knife cyber knife yes oh my god what the fuck okay um i'll read the rest are we sure that wasn't a fucking transformer all right all right i'll bet five dollars to win and if any of those win i'll just you guys i'll just if if they win i just want my five dollars back you guys get the winnings you got it we appreciate you brooks what are our transformer horoscopes for the week oh shit um yo the hot air balloon was a great idea We'll be right back. Outro Music