It’s Wednesday My Dudes - Ep. 68: The Boyos and Clippy fight 10,000 Rats

Episode Date: June 1, 2022

Ruxx is excited for the new Winney the Pooh horror movie, Cory invents an evil version of Clippy, and Bryan aggressively defends his choice of 10,000 rats. Rate us 5 stars on Spotify! and leave a review and rate on Apple Podcasts! Links here to follow on social media! and find other places to listen!

And here we go. So did you guys see the weird movie that was announced this week? Oh, was it like horror Winnie the Pooh? Oh, yeah. So Winnie the Pooh entered the public domain January of this year. So like the version that Disney uses you can't use, but any other version you want to make, you can actually make now. But who the fuck asked for a

horror fucking Winnie the Pooh? Like, who? So the plot. I saw pictures and it looks fucking terrifying. It looks scary as shit. Am I going to see it? Did you see the trailer, Brian?

I didn't. I've only seen the like stills of it i saw whatever you saw because you like tweeted it or liked it or something and so i saw it yeah so yeah that's the only reason i saw it someone else texted me too they're like uh thanks for liking this on twitter so this blessed my news feed at 8 a.m in the morning i was like, okay. Do you guys have Twitter on like, you can put it on latest mode or like the version that shows like things people liked? Why would you want it on the version where it just shows random things people liked? What would you do if I said I only followed you and you were my Twitter account? Like I just, I'm just following you.

It's Brian. It's my Brian newsfeed. There'll be not a lot on there, because I don't think I ever tweet. I retweet stuff every once in a while. I like things constantly, but that's pretty much it. Man, your life is boring, is what I would say. That's fair.

So the plot for this movie, though, Winnie and Piglet go on a murderous rampage and end up eating Eeyore as well as other people it's christopher i don't they i don't think they said if he is or not it'd be sick i hope so christopher robin was like the detective trying to catch them that'd be kind of freaking sick that would be dope no don't Don't give this idea any credit. Fuck this idea. I hate this idea.

Christopher Robin, they just call him Robin, though, and it's like a very obvious nod to Batman. And you kind of just slowly merge every world you could possibly think of together. I was going to say you do like a multiverse. So like give it five years. You do like a multiverse. But like i'm pretty sure the only movies that have been made are like kids winnie the pooh movies so the multiverse would

be like this murderous winnie the pig would be like the thanos of the movie like he's the villain for sure i mean he's a murderous winnie the pooh so then you'd have like all of the different versions of Winnie the Pooh try to like take down the horror one. I hate. I hate. Be like a Christmas Winnie the Pooh. Like a, like a, I don't, I don't know. I don't know.

That's about all I got. Emphasis. Like a very poorly drawn one from back in the day. Like Claymation Winnie the Pooh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Emphasis on how much I hate this fucking idea i hate it and then also like if it's the horror movie version versus everybody what the fuck is little cartoon poo

gonna do that man's always just walking around with honey and shit doesn't have like a mean bone in his body like they're all gonna die eeyore is gonna eeyore gets eaten in the horror movie version. Regular Eeyore is fucked like you don't know that. Maybe this version of Eeyore like he's like depressed, but also slow. And like in the cartoon, he's secretly like a track star and can get away. But he just doesn't want to show off like he's retired. You know, there's a whole multiverse of Eeyore's out there, man. It could be anything. I'm aggravated. We've been on this for a few minutes

and i'm literally aggravated i just love that this is gonna be the new thing as more and more disney properties become like public domain the first thing people are gonna do is just horror movie right out the gate so i need to think of like another very, very childish Disney movie that just turns into like a slasher film. It would be great. What? Popeye? That would be easy. Didn't they make a live action like Popeye or something?

Wasn't that creepy as shit? I mean, why would it be creepy? It's just eat spinach and has biceps. No, like, I think it was, like, the biceps... Let me look up a picture. Maybe it was just, like, a concept art or something. But I saw some creepy-ass picture of Popeye. I don't know what website I was on, but...

There is a live action, and his forearms are crazy looking. Yeah. But, like, Popeye is, like,ye is like not a like normal looking dude as a cartoon like popeye looks weird as a cartoon so i feel like live action popeye would look actually terrifying maybe popeyes are detective in this movie no versus winnie the pooh we're not getting popeye involved in winnie the pooh's fucking multiverse we're not doing a movie poster but look at how ridiculous that is oh my what's like a goku version i know it's sick oh give me super saiyan shaggy versus winnie the pooh i would pay so much money to see that movie so much money is no scooby-doo what is who owns scooby-doo that's not disney right no because it

used to be on cartoon network so i would just like warner brothers maybe i think that makes sense yeah i can check they gotta do it i have um this is off topic but it's a grab bag part of the grab bag mentality um i need a random like mascot of something not necessarily like team sports but like like so i have i was gonna do bang mary kill and i have two options and i need one more to fill it out and one is food okay perfect all right bang mary kill clippy the like helper yeah you know on the old computers and our old microsoft word or whatever and then uh the hamburger helper hand and then i guess popeye why is no we don't have to bridge gaps every single time we can just say fuck it and drop

popeye out of this all right uh the jolly green giant then like on the green beans okay perfect i'm marrying jolly green giant because like the thing is like i can't fight that thing um who said you had to fight it like bang mary kill and rook said bang mary kill fist fight well like kill is you you fight to the death i'm just saying i'm saying i feel as as like there's never a gladiator arena there's never a nice giant like that's that never happens the giants are always jolly green giant his name is jolly it's just hey there's a fucking there's apparently a winnie the pooh that murders people you know what i'm saying i don't know i'm just making assumptions but i don't know he seems kind of scary like i

would just want him on my side you know i'm gonna the dude sells green beans how scary he's a giant dude i don't give a fuck what he does he's huge he's massive you ever read the book the bfg come on there's big friendly giants out there fucking giant but i'm i think i'm marrying the jolly green giant uh i'm gonna kill as bad as i want to fuck clippy you know i'm gonna have to kill clippy there's just not that much. There's not going to be enough friction. And then I'm going hamburger helper hand. We're getting after it. Hey, I know the handle too well.

You know what I'm saying? No, that's awful. He's trying to give a helping hand. It would just feel like home, you know? As weird as it sounds, I think that's the correct answer. Although you did make me rethink all the like bang mary kills because like okay so you're doing bang mary kill the assumption is you're banging and marrying so then the assumption would also have to be right that you have to kill this person i would think but i've never thought of it that way i've just

thought like changes it so much snap your fingers and like you would kill them like by like thanos snap but now if it's like I have to physically like fist fight them that completely changes it I just you have to kill the paperclip one it would be easy two it's a very annoying three what are you gonna do with that paperclip how are you gonna hate on clippy clippy when i was a kid and i didn't know how to do dick on microsoft word clippy had my back every step of the way my guy if you just always like if you do boil it down it's just ultimately giving you suggestions and nagging you a lot exactly killed out of here um hamburger helper

you marry easily one the obvious but also it'll make you hamburger helper every meal that's true done three meals i don't know if i could do that forever man also reason being that was our dinner tonight so that's why it popped in my head and then somebody mentioned clippy at work earlier this week so there's a great busy work day, you know. What did they do to Clippy? Bang, marry, or kill? Nothing. But there was a suggestion that on the apps that we build,

we should start making our own version of Clippy. So kind of into that idea. Just make it like staple-y and it's just a staple, but it has like a really gravelly voice and tells you the wrong things. I mean, you could go a completely other direction because my company is dick sporty goods but i like stably you should go you should press alt 4 this is the batman version of claire what the fuck i should imagine he smokes a lot and just like it's a bad influence. You're like good angel bad angel

It's clippy and staples on either shoulder And somehow clippy's the good guy. I mean I clippy does seem helpful Stapley only yeah only the bag suggestions. I like it Brian. I said it is soup Thank you could be super helpful, and then now you're making a hypothetical anti clippy. That's a drug addict like He only gives you poor decisions. Yeah, like what the fuck? You should control alt delete all of this work without saving. Do a run on sentence.

Do it. I don't know why you're giving it Batman voice. I don't know why that was the choice. Oh, God. Oh, I need to make this happen. I could do some mock-ups. We'll get the art team on it. The art team? I hope you do.

Yeah, the whole team. Mm-hmm. Yeah. All one of me. I'm just... I'm already stressed out. It's Wednesday. Okay. It is Wednesday, Mikey. me man i'm already stressed out it's wednesday okay the efforts are hard now number one remove your bra i like nuts this in my butt i'm ready to go golf is a sexy thing my dick will go like and just inside out, and it'll turn into a vagina. And you take me. Hi, boys. And of course, Pennsylvania.

You leave the butter in the crack. Why is my spaghetti fizzy? I want to kiss you on the mouth, baby. God damn, he's so good. Yeah, he calls me big time. Ah, ah, ah. Of course, it makes me dookie. If you just wanted to slurp something and then spit it back out. And then I swallow. I want to die. Raw dog and lower.

Kid turkey, basterd nipples. He's got sloth. Rock's dick has anchor arms. I think I gotta get out of here. I was to die. Raw dog and lower. Kid turkey, basterd nipples. Just got slobbed. Rock's dick has anchor arms. I think I gotta get out of here. Where did you get the paint from? I don't fucking... Great question! Who has vertical butt cheeks? To the death.

No, Paul, look it down! I'm fucking with this fucking guy, man! It is Wednesday, my dudes. Welcome back to another episode. It's Wednesday, my dudes. Episode 68. You know we're known for our high effort intros, so that was a great one this week. Zach is out, getting circumcised. So, in the meantime, we got Corey.

What's up? We got Rooks. Hey, you know he's getting circumcised. Did he tell you that? Yeah, I zoomed into it. Is it a little late in his life for a circumcision into it yeah watch i got it okay is there picking you like zoomed in like physically yeah yeah yeah pinch to zoom pinch and spread is there an age cutoff for circumcisions cutoff nice um i don't think so like why why would it why would there be i don't know i was

just curious i was just asking i was asking a question for something i didn't know man i'm sorry um you should ask clippy that and see what his answer is i'll google it but go ahead you're never too old for circumcision that sounds like a staple kind of suggestion staple would say something fucking terrible i was gonna say brian what do you think staple would say he would say cut it all off. Oh, God. Okay, episode 68, one away from a very special episode,

but this week, we're grabbing some bags, doing some roundtables, asking some questions. We'll see what we get into. But until then, we have the answer from Google. How do you spell circumcision? C-I-R-C-U-M. Oh, I almost spelled it right. That was close.

Sorry. What part of that was wrong? I mixed up the S and the C. Like in like scission, I put S-I-C-I-O-N. Okay. They can be done at any age traditionally the most common time to do it is soon after your baby is born or within the first month because the process is painful an anesthetic is used to numb the area and the surgery is performed while the baby's still awake the more you know re-circumcised uncircumcised what are they gonna fucking gorilla glue your shit back now

hey man in the words of you i'm just asking questions i don't know the answer to fair oh god i wonder what like the oldest age to get circumcised was like you wait your whole life just to get into the guinness book of world records just to be like all right i'm 108 i'm gonna dive out next year let's let's knock it off let's see what this is about i feel like at 108 too you would have they're not feeling shit down there anyway you might just fucking snip snap snip snap they cut off a lot of skin though might be oh yeah dude that shit would be dragging dude it'd be like a it literally it'd be like a turtleneck but like you know when you try to take the hanger out through

the collar and you like pull on it and stretch it out and then you put it on the turtlenecks like dangling down and shit like oh that would look so bad it's like the haines the white t-shirt where it like starts the collar starts to like it like wrinkles a little bit like bacon exactly oh god if anybody listening knows somebody who's 108 years old have them call in where were we cory how's your week uh not as great as this conversation uh it was good we uh we went out thursday claire and i went out with a couple of our friends to go to shooters it's like a cheaper version of top golf and they had they had this one game so they it's like you could play virtual courses you can do like longest drive like all that they had this one game that was clearly for kids where it was like you're like hitting it

into a pond like you're obviously driving it like it's normal driving range but on the video you're hitting it into a pond and like you just get fish like you're fishing essentially by hitting the ball and okay we were obsessed with it it was great it was a good time uh we had some drinks biggest fish you got uh a great great white um also that's not caught a great white shark is not a fish it's a shark it's a different class by a shark in the category of fish are you dumb no are you stupid a shark is absolutely a fish i don't know clippy let me look it up anyway also a blue whale so i guess that would be bigger than a shark sorry yeah that's not a fit that's a whale right that's different that's a fish too my guy i i stand by aren't whales mammal no they're not mammals there's something else fish hold on so sharks are fish i'm stupid on that fine but i'm gonna stand by whales are not fish

so give me a second yeah i was say, please look that up as well. When I looked up sharks, it just said shark and little letters under it, fish. I was like, ah. Immediately wrong. Whales are mammals, so suck it. One for two. I'll take it. So then I was still right the first time.

Shark was the biggest fish that we caught. There you go. There you two. I'll take it. So then I was still right the first time. Shark was the biggest fish that we caught. There you go. There you go. But it was great. We caught an old boot and a rusty can as well. Also not fish. I'll stand by that. Final answer.

That one you might be right. But I had a good time. Actually went back on Sunday too. Lots of fun. Shout out shooters but i didn't do much this weekend we went to no we watched uh obi-wan on friday and by we i mean me i don't know why i'm saying we i watched no spoilers man i wanted to talk about it no spoilers i haven't you both now watch it look so i watch it usually illegally. Don't cut this out, Brian, later on.

I won't. But my website wasn't working. So I tried to download Disney Plus, and that wouldn't download either. So I was like, oh, this sucks. So I binge watched all of Stranger Things. So we can talk about it if you watched it. I didn't. No, I watched episode one.

I watched one and a half episodes, I guess. And I watched that on Friday, too. And then Saturday had a little me day. Walked around Cooper, around the neighborhood. Did some housework, obviously. Claire Catt and I went to a local dive bar and posed all of our random questions from college. Brian sent me a list so much bigger than i imagined it was um but we had some big hitters there it was good i can't remember the one that

we got stuck on for a little while but it got deep in this random dive bar naturally you gotta let me know which ones are good because i found a list off reddit that's like literally 250 questions and i just put it in there and i need to start like figure out the ones that like are actually good to ask there was gonna narrow it down there was one of the it was like one of the parent ones it was like how you were raised or something i think was a good one anyway it was a good time we i only asked like four questions we were talking for like three hours it felt like so it was a good time um sunday we had a barbecue at claire's family's house, like relatives on her mom's side. And then Monday had a pool day with relatives on her dad's side. So it was a nice, you know, mem day weekend, typical Saturday or Sunday and Monday.

But I am going to rate my weekend one. No, no, no, no. Two rusty boots, rusty boots, old boots, no. Two, Rusty Boots. Rusty Boots, Old Boots, and Rusty Tin Cans, I guess. Sounds like a good week, John. Yeah. It's pretty decent. Brooks, how was your week?

It was pretty good. So, I was with me and the bride guy on the exact same Saturday. We went to our buddy's place um we played way too much soccer um just tip for all the people out there especially if you haven't ran in a while um eating four rolls of sushi and then having two miller lights and then running and playing soccer it's's not ideal. You're not, you're not going to be, your calories aren't going to like,

what is it put out for what you put in? You know what I mean? Your, your body's going to be tired. Tip for tap. Yeah, exactly. So I,

it was, Oh, we, I ran up and down the field ones. I was about to fucking vomit. I was like, Jesus, but we played some soccer,

got some exercise in then bry guy and our buddy stack grilled up a little bit bry guy loving his fucking grilled pineapple man this guy cory knows this guy was there was just grilled pineapple king over here um so good you put cinnamon on it of course he did how much both sides come on lots of all the cinnamon it was it was pretty good i'm not a huge pineapple person um but it was good um but yeah so then just boozed up uh played this horror video game that we love so much that we got to get cory to play soon um drank a lot of beverages. Yes, exactly. And then, um,

order dominoes, big shout out dominoes, wings hitting as always, baby. I put, I put my, uh, I held my title as a domino wing eater.

I'll tell you that. Um, and then against nobody, no one's trying to take it. I mean, if anybody wants it, they're going to have to fucking work for it. Um, I'm just, I'm mainly putting the challenge out there. You know what I'm saying? Fair. Yeah. Yeah. buddy. No one's trying to take it. I mean, if anybody wants it, they're going to have to fucking work for it.

I'm mainly putting the challenge out there. You know what I'm saying? Fair. Yeah. But yes, I did that and then woke up Sunday. I was like, oh, I don't have plans these next two days. It's going to be nice. I'm going to get a nice little reset. Fuck no. My friend texted me and she was like, oh, hey,

what are you doing today and tomorrow i was like oh i don't really have much going on she's like we're going to shows like both days if you want to come i was like well i guess i have memorial day weekend plans and so i went to this place sound check on sunday so fucking cool such a cool fucking bar um got after it like i wasn't feeling my best going into it and then so i tried to overcompensate and uh get past the get over like the the little hangover hump overdid it um on my walk i was walking home it was supposed to take me 25 minutes took me close to an hour because i just kept making the wrong turns um siri was fucking pissed at me because i had directions on my phone and i just wasn't paying attention notifications at all like

she's like turn around probably for like six blocks and i looked at my phone it was like oh shit i was supposed to turn around like 10 minutes ago i love that you're walking too so it's not like you're going fast and you missed a turn it's like no it's going it's extremely slow it is and still did not realize it was pure carelessness 110 carelessness but i was having a little stroll home oh big time play by your boy too ordered ihop and i was like oh i'm like i don't feel great and i'm just gonna go to sleep and then so once i have got here put it in the fridge had a full ihop breakfast the next morning just boom ready to go to sleep. And then so once I have got here, put it in the fridge, had a full IHOP breakfast the next morning, just boom, ready to go. Big time players make big time plays and big time games.

And then went out to another show yesterday and just like I had a great time. But your boy is fucking tired. I am exhausted. I am weak. It's just it's bad bad but it was a good time though had a great fucking time shout out to the fucking djs man they're just killing it right now and yeah it was a good time i'll give my weekend i'll give it an extended walk and a lot of house music. Boom. Okay.

Nice. Pretty good. I'm not going to ask about your weekend. Let's just move on. No, I'm just kidding. How was the week? You missed another thing that we did this past week, though. We didn't talk about the Nats game.

Well, stay fully. Don't talk. We didn't talk about the Nats game well stay fully don't talk we didn't talk about the nats game from last year right these last couple of days really just fucked up my whole timeline of everything i thought the nats game was like two weeks ago it was wednesday of last week so my dude day after we podcast hey uh played the music okay um no got to see sheila again and uh little rowdy jeff guy dude had so much food all over his face and was very sad when the dodgers lost i also made an appearance on sheila's instagram so weekend was great yes totally totally forgot about so there's this uh there's this i don't know if anyone's heard i don't know if it's like a chain here but ben's chili bowl where they just they do like chili dogs chili

fries all that kind of shit this man jeff housed a chili glizzy and just was he was a little intoxicated man had chili all over his fucking face man and he could not be bothered he was the hat he it was like it's like a five-year-old eating ice cream like it was like you just let him go they're gonna have a grand old time like it was great so funny because in between bites he'd point over to me like to tell me baseball stats and like at the very beginning of the game they're like so you really into baseball i was like no not at all and they're like oh okay and they just kept trying to talk baseball to me and then at one point he just like oh okay and they just kept trying to talk baseball to me

and then at one point he just like pulls his sleeve up he's like hey man look at these guns he's like I'm working out like three days a week now I was like yeah man you're looking good putting in that work baby he's just such a happy person it was great I had such a good time we also almost caught a foul ball I very did not attempt to try to grab it at all. I've shied so far away from it. It landed an inch away from us. Completely forgot about this shit too. We were, there were more foul balls this game.

I think in any other than any other game in the history of baseball, I'm talking every other swing was a fucking foul ball. This shit was coming towards us. My mom was like, get ready to catch it. And I was like, it's not even good. It's not even near us.

And it lands at the seat in front of me, like the one directly in front of me my mom was like get ready to catch it i was like it's not even good it's not even near us and it lands at the seat in front of me like the one directly in front of me i was like wow that's like my one opportunity my entire life to catch a foul ball and i was just like so nonchalant and didn't give a fuck about it did you guys bring your mates did not we joked about it there's a kid sitting like across the aisle from us with one, though. If I tried to catch that, it immediately would have just broken my hand. So I wasn't risking it. Bright Guy was never in the realm of catching the baseball, okay? That was more of a my job, and I fucked up. The least shocking thing.

In the first inning, I told Rooks, like, I'm going to lean away. You're going to have to save me, like boyfriend saving a girlfriend on like every ESPN clip. So almost happened. Also, we played a lawnmower simulator. It was a highlight of my week. Yo, I've seen that. Dude. I have.

I actually have. Where is this game? Xbox? Is it on Game Pass? It's on Game Pass. Yo. And it's on cloud, you can like just play it it's like it's really laggy but you can just play without downloading it bad it's really bad change your outfit like could i go high white socks oh no no you can you you can change your company's

polo and you can change two different colors and that's it it was pretty lame we tried to destroy stuff and like there's a limited amount of destruction you could do but we really just messed up some flowers that was the extent of it we also went into debt really fast yes cory better or worse than the moving out game that we played at cody's place oh so much worse moving out's a great game honestly it was terrible. We moved on from lawn simulator to play deer simulator. That was a riot. All right.

So, look. You start the game. Character creator, right? Obvious. Every game has it. And it has like a million options. Spend a good couple minutes creating a character. You click start.

The very first scene, it's your guy trying to cross a road and a deer is crossing on the other side and a car is coming. Your guy jumps in front of the car to push the deer out of the way. You die. Your character is gone for the rest of the game. Everything you just spent time making, you never see again. Burn spending 10 minutes just going through hairstyles for this person. And me and Mendy are like, oh, my God, just start the fucking game. Like, please, this is so stupid.

And then none of the customization mattered at all. Such a waste it was the best intro to a video game i've ever played so good and then you're running around as a deer that rick runs on two legs and like can pick up guns and stuff oh there's a koala that just immediately shoots lasers at you it's a great game everybody go play it it's so much fun it's all right it's all it's so trippy um but you know we play the dark dark pictures anthology game at stack's place incredible cory you might actually like this one it's less jump scares more just like there's monsters and you shoot things yeah yeah less less ghosts more ghouls

um uh hiked sugarloaf mountain yesterday because like that's like the thing to do and i've never done it in maryland but like i looked it up and it's like, that's like the thing to do. And I've never done it in Maryland, but like, I looked it up and it's like, Oh, it's like a two to three mile hike, whatever. I was like, all right,

that's super easy. So I typed in on my phone, like went to the parking lot. The parking lot I went to was like a quarter mile from the top, apparently. So I got there and like got to the top, like five minutes later, I was like,

you should have asked. God damn it. You should have asked. I've like, i've literally done that twice i would have told you just be careful because like your phone's gonna want to take you just to the top it was really stupid but like got to stop whatever got a photo left nice easy hike for me um and then yeah freaking just binge stranger things this season is so good Just it's better than season 1 2 3 4 before it the way it split up though

It's like seven episodes and then there's a month break and then two more episodes Which is the rest of those two episodes are like movie length, right? Supposedly they're each like a hour 45 long Which is sick, but like go watch change your things I need to get into obi-wan, but you know technical difficulties I'm so sad. I'm I'll get there. I was busy. I think I had friends this weekend last thing you see today kissing me Sorry, but Today there was like an AC repair guy who came and

After he was like down here doing whatever for like 20 minutes, he was like, hey, man, can you use the bathroom? I was like, yeah, go for it, whatever. And then he's in there for like good like 20 minutes. And he comes out and my aunt comes down. She's like, why is there a candle in the bathroom? I was like, oh, maybe that guy did it. But also that he like put toilet bowl cleaner in the toilet and like cleaned it before he left too it's like how damn my man how bad did this guy destroy that toilet to have to like there was a couple matches

like on the counter that were used i was like dude and like he flushed a couple times i heard it i was like good for him whatever but like man that guy was down bad to do all that at, like, somebody's. It was so funny. Like, I probably, like, I probably get it. Did he ever clean the toilet afterwards? From, like, a work standpoint, like, it's probably, like, he probably always cleans it no matter how this shit is. But that's, like, that's a lot, man. Like, he's in there multiple flushes, too. Like, I mean, I was plunging in shit, probably.

Like, I mean, I thought was plunging in shit probably. That man was having a run. That man thought he was going to get fired. Also, just like, I didn't know there's a candle in there. I didn't know there's matches in there. Like, he dug around and found stuff to take care of this. It was just so weird to see. I don't know. Good for him, though.

Yeah, no. Respect for the covering up your tracks your tracks uh but all right this week ashley tisdale hey shout out to our pictures big shout out so oh got it oh don't act like you know you haven't played the game yet cory what gets you on board she's one of the characters like no she's not no no i love her music okay so moving on the uh there's this it's not a draft it's not a tier list it's a discussion topic i don't know tell me send it to us it's very important discussion topic yeah yeah

it's the burning question in everyone's mind you know with the elections coming up and kovid and the war in ukraine um so we have nine different tiles one is 50 eagles the next one's 10 alligators that's three bears seven bulls one hunter 15 wolves 10 000, five gorillas, and four lions. And you pick two to defend you and the rest are coming to kill you. Fuck, you picked two? How many were you going to pick?

One, I thought it was you picked one. No, you gotta pick two, dude. Well, god damn it. Corey's not going first. That helps you so much more now. I know. I thought I had it in the bag with one thing. So Tommy sent us this. So thank you, Tommy.

I had this saved for weeks, though. So like had it in the back. We were going to talk about this since like three months ago. And I was just waiting for the right time to do it. So now it's time, you know. So Rooks, I'm going to put you on the spot and make you go first what are you picking talk us through so i'm picking 10 000 rats and here's why no i'm just kidding fuck that if it's an awful pick if either of you pick the 10 000 rats it's a fucking awful

pick and i will say that right now dude do you know how many rats i've seen dead in dc from just them living from them just walking around the sidewalk like they're dead they're dead all over the place i bet it's a lot throughout the city i bet it's a lot can you draft dc as an option to defend me um okay so i i like the idea of like i like some versatility with my team you know what i'm saying i didn't like i didn't want something that was strictly a land animal so my first pick i was gonna pick was the gators okay first off gators are mean as shit and will just like chippity chippity chop your ass but then like stuck to stuck to water, though, I get 10 of them. Well, they know because they're land and water. They're both.

But they're slow on land. They have the little stubby legs. They can't move very quick. They fuck things up on land. What are you talking about? I don't know. Chubbs Peterson. Come on, dude.

But he's never heard of it. No, no he wasn't the gator was at the course all right well okay you can draft alligators i'm not gonna draft chubbs to defend me okay fair okay but i i am drafting the alligators i also like that there's 10 of them i don't know i feel like that's that's a good like that's more than a nice round number like you're gonna pick a base on the number well it's more that's more than a lot of the other number like you're gonna pick a base on the number well it's more that's more than a lot of the other ones like the options you get like i think 10 gators could take down three bears like i think 10 of them would overwhelm the shit out of three bears i think the bears would just climb a tree and then like power bomb well then we're just gonna fucking wait elbow what are they fucking jeff hardy climbing to the top and swanton bombing these fuckers no dude he's gonna literally they're gonna sit up there and we're just gonna

sit there and wait and they're gonna my gators are gonna do that thing where they're like like they're like hissing and shit it's gonna be sick uh my gorilla's gonna climb or is that black bears or is it both it's all bears i don't don't know, man. I know black bears do. Koala bears. That's true. Mm-hmm. See? All bears.

Hashtag. Anyway, but so I'm going 10 gators for sure. I like having some versatility, some water, some land. There's only one thing left to check off, baby, and that's the sky. Give me 50 fucking eagles. Just, ah!ica all over you dude just you pick 10 000 rats i'm killing all of them with one eagle my guy you know why because they're just gonna get swooped up one at a time and taken back to the nest and then we're gonna baby bird your rats they're gonna be and then we're gonna hawk it in our baby's mouth and they're gonna

start flying around and then it's gonna be like and you're gonna be able to draft the babies i'm just saying it's only you're gonna be fucked it's just a system you know what i mean i like the system we got here i respect the water and air aspect because you're coming in at different angles exactly i like i like the idea of us just by sea we got we got the avatar almost covered you know what i'm saying like we almost got all four elements i like our spot i like where we're at but so you have alligators and birds on your side but there's a hunter that's gonna come try to kill you there's one how are you defending there's one single guy and also what what gun are we giving this guy okay i that that was gonna be my my topic of discussion like are we giving this guy okay i that that was gonna be my my topic of

discussion like are we giving this guy like he has a rifle in the picture so that's why i went with rifle called like are we are we giving him like a call of duty m4 with like an extended mag and like a sight are we giving him literally a hunting rifle that shoots like one or two at a time crossbow spartan laser okay regardless he can't shoot 50 eagles just dive bombing his ass he's dead every year buckshot he's dead it's called birdshot actually he's saying like they have bullets specifically for birds that shoot out like 10 000 pellets at a time they can take down 50 at a time with gators at your ankles too this guy's fucking dead are you joking look this hunter's just gonna casually walk to the right to avoid the gators just not go in the water obviously it's just

false and there's a couple to all 50 of them i love my at least take out 10 all right i'm just i'm skeptical man i love my i know i have my second okay cory then go ahead okay so i'm going my first pick and it's hilarious because in the picture you send it clearly states pick two as like the first thing you read line of text says i don't know i don't know what i was reading clearly i wasn't um but i was gonna go eagles off the bat because and i'm i'm reaching through uh through the movies i've watched in the past so eagles can pick you up and fly you away to safety also and And so like I'm thinking Lord of the Rings a little bit. And also I failed to mention this weekend, of course, because every weekend is Harry Potter weekend.

You know, in the second movie, they the Phoenix comes in claws and blinds the basilisk, which like that's pretty dope, too. So the eagles could blind the people attacking any all of them eagles could blind all of them and then you just and then guess who's cleanup crew i got the five gorillas coming in to beat the shit out of people because like to me i feel like gorilla like strength wise i feel like gorillas are like known to be the like one of the strongest animals and like the advantage or the disadvantage to the gorilla is the other ones have claws but you get five gorillas or three bears or four lions well they're all gonna be blinded anyway so like give me my five gorillas

against four blind lions three blind bears like they're to beat the absolute fuck out of them. So, so I want to poke two holes into your plan. Nope. One, you should have chose the hunter cause you have the Eagles carry the hunter and he just shoots from the sky. Oh dude, that'd be kind of sick.

It's a good point, but that's where I thought you were going. But two, I still like the gorilla cleanup crew, man. What's the heaviest an Eagle can carry in North America? A bald eagle may be able to carry up to seven or eight pounds so that means i'll cut wait you have 50 eagles

they each can carry say 10 pounds it's about 500 pounds a gorilla weighs around 300 pounds you only got one gorilla in like a half in the air at one time using all of your eagles. I don't know if it's going to work. Wait, I zoned out for a second. Are the eagles picking up the gorillas in this theory? That's what you were saying. You're going to pick them up. No, the eagles can pick me up and put me to safety and then blind the other animals and the gorillas come in and just beat the fuck out of the other animals so you took half your eagles away to just hold you in the sky and then you just have five gorillas versus everybody like i feel like my logic makes sense i'm using half they're eventually gonna

get tired and then just have to put you down and then the things will come after you no no man if the 25 eagles that are blinding the other animals do their work properly, we're going to be done pretty freaking fast. Alright, so you guys are stupid. So their correct answer is 10,000 rats. You're so dumb. A rat weighs about 1 pound.

10,000 rats, 10,000 pounds of animal coming after you at one time. An average gorilla weighs 300 pounds. You got 10 times the weight of pounds of animal coming after you at one time. An average gorilla weighs 300 pounds. You got 10 times the weight of those gorillas coming after you in rats. Why are you going immediately to the weight thing? 10,000 times the amount of teeth, 10,000 times the amount of talons all at once. Look, these things can scurry together, turn into a little transformer, just a version of themselves, and just all coalesce and just like monster slap people yes rooks so um two questions one can rats fly uh if enough of them they can throw each other

in the air done it's gonna be tough to kill a bird then and then two can they swim yeah they're dead as fuck they're so dead My team is taking out the 10,000 rats with literally, without breaking a sweat. Like, that's going to be the easiest battle we've ever faced. It's going to be a joke. Look, you got 50 eagles. I got 10,000 rats.

Eagles can't eat more than, I would say, 50 rats at one time. Their stomach's going to explode. All your eagles are gone. Boom. I'm down to like 7,500. They just have to kill them. If they come down down and try to crunch them there's 10,000 of them you get a couple latched on at one time they can only carry seven to eight pounds they can only

carry about seven or eight uh rats at a time you get nine of them on eagle and the eagles on the ground it gets sworn by everyone this isn't like a couple theories so they can only pick a few up and then you said the other rats latch onto them if he flies up then the rats die from being like falling right because they're going to be in the air also i just want to pose so like in my scenario the eagles can only carry eight pounds but in your scenario the rats can be a transformer and act as one you you literally make up your own fucking like gravity and physics for all of your situations and it's bullshit brian's like eagles carrying more than eight pounds unrealistic transformer rats yes like i called me out on whatever look i haven't even talked

about my second pick i don't even need my second pick i'm just going 10 000 can i do 10 000 rats again can i do 20 000 rats not in the rules it said pick two it didn't say you can't do two twice guys it's a hundred percent the correct answer you just swore him all at once have you ever tried to fight more than one rat at a time i have another question answer my question first have you tried to fight more than one rat at a time i have another question answer my question first have you tried to fight more than one rat at a time i have a question no answer my first i i have a question cory have you ever tried to fight more than one rat at a time i'd like to change my answer to you i've never tried to fight one rat exactly imagine 10 000 times that so zero still uh plus ten thousand i just my my all my statement for this is literally in the fucking nature food web like rats don't fight eagles and eagles kill rats like

just in the natural court like natural selection the way the world works like your weapon is literally my weapons prey like they're prey because they don't fight back they only die you're forgetting about the transformer theory oh yeah we're getting about them making a pulley system and just they're entering the bronze age so it'll be fine they create a breathing apparatus it was about nine times out of ten terry look in the food pyramid food web whatever hell it's called rats pizza's not on there with rats but they end up eating it anyways they do whatever they want they got a mind of their own they're gonna eat what they can get their hands on another question here because i don't think you understand food webs so food stop it's not a food web food webs is literally eating like other

animals and shit pizza's never gonna be on a fucking food web my god my point still stands it's not on the food web they make do they do what they need to do triangle the food pyramid god damn it i said triangle acting like fucking pizza it's like a part of our ecosystem and shit i'm just trying to go back to your uh dc new york city rats i think, if we called any of our New Jersey friends, they would be all on board with the rats being the best answer because they're crazy.

Okay. The rats, not the New Jersey people. I'm past the rats because I know you're just not going to give on your argument and you're just going to keep saying that they're going to learn how to drive cars and shit.

So what's your second choice? So, easily, Hunter. One, friendship. gonna learn how to drive cars or and shit so what's your second choice so easily hunter one friendship to teach the rats how to hunt i'm so talk about like oh wait just picture one hunter with a rifle 10 000 rats and then you have five gorillas three bears four lions and 15 wolf like that's insane to me that you're gonna the rats aren't gonna stop them at all yeah they are look they coalesce around the hunter and act as body armor that gives him enough time to reload his gun a lot this guy's wearing a fucking rat ghillie suit now what the fuck is this situation there's 10 000 of them what do you expect i could have we had 10 000 i could throw 100 out there just go scout they could go around the outside come back this is an issue

right the rats and the hunter attacking together the hunter is gonna literally accidentally kill a bunch of the rats he's gonna step on these things and not even realize that's how dumb this is like the rats stepping on a rat's not gonna kill it dude have you seen a sidewalk rat before that's dead people literally like i saw when i one of my first weekends here there was a rat that just had a footprint through the middle of its fucking body and it was bled out on the sidewalk. They're tiny. It does not take that much force to crush a rat.

There's a big difference between a mouse and a rat. Rats are huge. Mice are tiny. Again, argument keeps changing. It's not. I've said rat the entire time. Your argument keeps changing. I said rat the entire time. A rat is three and a half inches tall.

No. Tall, tall. It's tall. They're a pound is the average. I still think you step on one and they would die. No. There's 10,000. 110%.

No. I'm getting a rat. You guys have never seen a real have you have you seen a rat trap at a store before i've seen a rat before have you sorry hold on hold on here's what we're gonna do i'm gonna get you a rat and you have to step on it and if it no like why why wouldn't you step on it because it's gonna die it's animal cruelty because it's gonna die it would hurt i'm not gonna step on a gorilla kill me it's gonna die dude no literally like 50 of the things on this list will step on like if it steps on a rat we'll kill it like a tent i got 9999 more of them

it'll be fine oh my god it's such a bad hit i said rats next time i see you it's such a i hope man i could take over no if you've seen okay if you go to a store and get a mousetrap it's about like three inches long by like an inch wide it's teeny are you sure you're not thinking of the game the board game? I mean, it is called mousetrap, not rat trap. But if you next to it, there's rat traps that are about a foot long by six inches wide and they're ridiculously huge looking. And it's wild to see the difference between a mouse and a rat. I'm just I'm hold on a second.

I'm looking something up. I don't think you still understand that's the map the numbers game on this it's 10 000 pounds of an animal coming at you at one time compared to any of the other ones it's dude 10 000 rats can't all like that's the thing too it's such a large number you're not getting like bit by 10 000 rats at once like there's too many of them to even attack one thing all at once. Yeah. They can attack all of those things all at once. No,

you can say the same thing on the other way around. It would still be on my side. A bear can't eat 10,000 rats all at one time. A bear will fucking just step in, kill like eight of them. All right. There's 10,000 of them. There's multiple other animals in this

situation there's a fucking animal that the rat can't fight at all the birds yes there's you think if you try to swoop down on a group of 10 000 rats that you could hit one and not be attacked oh yeah the rats are gonna grab onto it with their fucking posable thumbs dude that's what they're gonna do they're gonna Hang onto it and just fucking Go for a ride they're gonna just start grabbing Its feathers pull itself up to its nape Nip it out like it's a fucking titan it's gonna be great You don't think that they aren't all

Just like bit together and if they try to pull one Up it's not gonna pull out like ten and they can just climb Off the hawk in the air and they'll fall to the ground So you're you're again Expanding on this idea that you're Training these fucking rats to hold hands now and become a fucking safety net for each other what the fuck is going on when they're in giant packs of things they work together you ever see a like a pile of ants that like form a bridge and like actually get across stuff or they make a ball and they can

like do whatever nonsense it's not that's an ant that has like the brain the size of a speck of sand let alone i stand by the eagles will fly me to safety and i'll just keep moving back and forth i got 25 guys keeping me playing defense a little defense action and then we got 25 playing a little oh it'll be great 25 of those are holding you in the air the whole time they don't need that and i said they don't need to pick me up and hold me and hover me they could pick me up fly me miles and miles away and like sit me down and then when we see more people come and pick me up and fly me away we get picked up go to a different country have a freaking picnic while my other eagles are

beating the shit out of the other animals or blinding them sorry the gorillas are beating the shit out of the other i mean you're just gonna fly away to another continent and the gorillas aren't gonna be on that continent yeah but they'll be on the continent where they just beating the fuck out of blind animals that's assault um the crocodiles could still follow you sure but like i'd love to see the crocodile go across the whole entire ocean well here's what we're gonna do we're gonna train them right so that they can make a bridge and then they'll keep replacing each other as a bridge and walk all the way across we'll make a breathing apparatus out of kelp it's gonna be great rooks you didn't draft the hunter so you can't train things we're gonna have we're gonna train

many opposable thumbs we're gonna train them to fucking get their boating license and just take a little fucking take a boat across the across the water i think a gorilla could drive a boat to be be honest. I'm on board with that. A gorilla's probably the closest thing you could get to driving a boat, yes. Or 10,000 rats. They could make a raft out of themselves. Oh, my fucking God. You and your fucking rats.

That's the thing ants do. They make a raft when there's water. These are fucking rats. They're not ants. Yeah, they're better than ants. Roach is a fucking bunch of hole through his wall i'm so bitter right now it is the correct answer if you look this up look up this photo on any social media the correct answer that most people will try to defend is 10 000 rats because it is the correct answer i argue there is no correct answer because it's a hypothetical.

It's 10,000 rats. It's 10,000 rats plus one hunter for friendship and teaching. It's a good point, though. Everything you read on social media is correct. I agree, yeah. It's a good point. I'm just glad nobody picked a bull, to be honest.

Yeah, who the fuck is picking seven bulls, dude? They're just kind of boring. Just kind of step to the left and you're good yeah exactly don't wear red if johnny knoxville can survive a hit from a bull like every year for the past 10 years i'll be all right okay exactly fair all right so now that i won that conversation uh next grab back topic i just i actually want people to like call in or comment and say what they would pick because like i'm curious i need more opinions than transformer rats like i just need more maybe i should have like stuck for the transformer part of that at the end and really just save that and maybe you would have been on my side more if you didn't put the kibosh on my like flying eagles maybe i would have let you go with transformer rats a little bit more

i yeah that's fair there you go okay good if you call in please if you call in please don't uh fucking please don't say oh yeah i'll train my fucking i'll train my gorillas to operate ar-15s you know what i'm saying like we're not they do have opposable thumbs and pointer fingers maybe oh i have a new plan uh does the hunter get explosives i assume the hunter only gets a gun because we were specifying what gun he gets that's the thing with this conversation too is like i assume we're all taking like averages across the board like you were like oh the fucking yes there are huge fucking rats but like there's not these populations of like the three foot rat that you're referring to like that's not how this works i never said there are three feet but i'm saying

like i looked it up there are like special like like little like there's a few species that get huge. But like, yeah, there's not shaming rats. I'm saying like average across the board, like hashtag me too, man. And like the hunter, we're not getting fucking the hunter. We're not giving him like a fucking full ballistic vest and all this other shit. Why would a ballistic vest help this situation? It wouldn't, but it's fine because the gorillas have guns now remember no so if we got explosives if i could just have my hunter hide in the back and just make c4

constantly yeah just for a second for a second they just shove it down the throat of all the rats and then you just have 10 000 explosives that just run at things you know but yeah i get that that's kind of that's out of the realm actually sure yeah i'm gonna i would like my hunter to have uh the one man army perk from call of duty modern warfare 2 and then that way and scavenger i'll have a noob tube scavenger so then he could keep replacing his noob tubes and you know maybe we could get 25 kills we get a nuke too like get an ac-130 real quick and just throw stuff down zach's gonna have a wild answer to this i just thought about that i feel like he's gonna stick with the rats because it's just yeah it would have been 2v2 in this whole thing oh yeah we're gonna combine i'll

have 20 000 rats and he'll have another 20 000 rats and it'll be versus your guys four picks it'd be great we'll be flying we got a hundred eagles hundred fucking eagles versus 40 000 rats so many where where are you can you can you draft the same thing twice i don't know okay now you got 40 000 rats now'm confused. There's no way for the rats to fight the fucking eagles. There's no way. There's no way. If you swoop down and try to grab one rat, your face has to be right next to it. You know what I mean? No, it doesn't.

Because you grab with your talons. Okay, so your feet are next to it, yeah? Yeah. And there's 20,000 of them. You don't think that means they're all jam-packed right next to each other the other ones could just these guys have their arms around each other now like what the fuck it no no it's a giant mat i'm not spreading them out into a formation with shields and spears they're just in a giant ball and you try to get one the other ones are gonna be right

next to it yo if they're in a giant ball my girl gorilla is one-punching, Ronnie one-punching the fuck out of that monstrous ball of rats. That's one shot. You launch us to the next continent where your guy is, and we would eat him. Done. Solved it. Forgot the rats. We'll survive a one-punch across a continent. I mean, if we got 40,000 rats rats now now we can make that bridge you're talking

about because that's enough to get to another continent i'm just good god you know this podcast there's certain days man where it's just my blood is boiling all right that was my topic what do you guys got i got did you see bo burnham released his on actually i know you did brian because guess what since i follow you on twitter i'm telling you you're the only one i get any like you it's just whatever you like on my news feed i'm telling you it's essentially as if i've just only followed you anyway did you watch it i'm gonna start i'm gonna start liking some really strange things just a weird i'm only gonna judge you fair i did watch it it's not like it's supposed to just be like an hour of outtakes

it's like a produced yeah it's like another special it's crazy it's really good awesome i saw it on my feed today i I didn't watch it, though. You following Brian? No. It's on my YouTube feed, but I was just like, you know. It's good, man. Inside was great and like intense and stuff. And I was like, I don't really know if I like, you know, a little anxiety. I don't know if I want to dive into this today.

Yeah, you don't want to laugh and then cry repeatedly for an hour straight back and forth. I doing that enough already this morning i didn't need to add to it you know what i'm saying yeah if you ever wanted to be uh in a glass case of emotion on an emotional roller coaster watch inside by boat barnum it's a lot and i watched and i watched some of it and then i went back to like watch or listen to the original special it's so good we went to like watch it to fall asleep last night and we it's an hour long and we ended up watching 30 minutes and i was like we need to shut this off because we're just gonna be like just trying to find something to fall asleep to and we're like riveted that was your choice i don't know it's something i was interested i fall asleep you guys both know I'll fall asleep to anything.

In Corey's defense, he'll fall asleep in 20 seconds. Yeah, it does mean something. It made me stay up when I'm already tired for 30 more minutes. Come on, guys. There were multiple times in college that Corey put on a movie. The opening intro is done. We just panned around the universal globe and then the opening like theme song starts and i just hear and i'm like dude how the fuck did you just fall asleep in 40 seconds of logos like what the fuck and this was also your idea to watch this movie and now i'm gonna sit here

watch it by myself it's the best happened every time i'm a sleepy boy ridiculous incredible superpower i'm impressed all right rooks what you got um you know so like that's our episode uh thank you for listening um if you want to call in uh give us a like comment subscribe you know i'm saying like we would very much appreciate it call in uh tell burn his shit is stupid because it's stupid but hey forget to follow him on twitter only him not the podcast yeah only burn and then uh yeah uh hit that uh outro bright guy give us the uh weekly horoscope. Oh, yeah, I got you. Rats was the dumbest fucking pick. Thank you. you