It’s Wednesday My Dudes - Ep. 80: Extra Terrestrial Chris Hansen

Episode Date: October 5, 2022

The boyos are back from a month off, Bryan survived Denver but may have met an Alien, Cory steals dinner from a poor family in Jim Thorpe PA, and Ruxx is finally settling down???? Rate us 5 stars on Spotify! and leave a review and rate on Apple Podcasts! Links here to follow on social media! and find other places to listen!

And here we go. You want a science article? No, but sure. Okay. We can move on from that. I don't want a science article, but if you want to share something from a science article, sure. I mean, I got other things if you want to do it. What science article is it from?

Who's providing this data? Gizmodo. No. Okay. is it from what uh what's who's providing this data gizmodo no okay uh have you guys heard about amazon palette no uh no okay so all of the returned items and like broken items and like random mismatched things they kind of just put into a palette and you can buy said palette without knowing what actually is on it except for like the category so you could buy a palette of stuff that's like in the electronics category from amazon and it can be full of like broken or like macbooks that like sort of got dropped are they like and they are the pallets priced differently based on like what it is or is it just like monthly subscription mystery box

here where it's just like yeah this fee every month and then you get a new pallet I tried looking them up and it was like there's only a couple of them and there are only like 50 bucks so they're really not that expensive okay you're not gonna hit the fucking jackpot dude you're literally like every time you walk in every time you see someone working on droids in star wars and they have just random shit everywhere like that's what you're getting just looks like parts from a plumber's like yeah like office on the floor plumbers don't have an office. What's a plumber's place called shop other people's places Plumbers have their own stores where they just demonstrate the plumbing to everybody You drop off your toilet get a fix pick it back up later

We could invent it. It hasn't been done before they just constantly take apart the same toilet every day. Honey, I gotta go into the office. Literally their own place where they're just constantly shitting and having to fix it. They're just purposely shitting a lot. A self-employed plumber. Do you get that much business? Do you have a link to this

thing? To this pallet? Can we buy it? Should we? The follow-up was do you guys want to split one sure yeah i'll split one yeah okay hell yeah okay like i don't do we get to pick what category we like are we gonna yeah right return pallets what are the categories that amazon's garage sale system what are the categories there it's pretty much uh the first one is returned pallet of returned items for sale interesting unboxing y10 50 what the second category what in the fuck did you just say

to us? I don't trust these very much. There's also like two? There was more when I looked before. It's on Amazon's site though, like it's through Amazon? Mm-hmm. So it's on Amazon, obviously, but I don't know if it's

an Amazon item. Let me check. They're on Amazon and there's only two? That seems surprising because Amazon has a lot of stuff. People are scooping them up, man. They're fucking gold mines apparently. Can't stay on the shelf.

They're gonna stand up their own new warehouse of Amazon where they get brand new products, but everybody is just dropping things on purpose so that way they can create these palettes all right i'm trying to figure out i need to i need to look up a review first to make sure this isn't a scam like that's the thing so they have like do they have reviews on these things so when i went through the app there was one review and it was one star

yeah okay you know what's crazy you know what's an insane idea is you know what they have these palettes for 50 that's all broken shit and someone wasn't happy when they got a palette of all broken shit that's crazy that's a crazy idea to me i think we should go in on it look how many loot boxes have you bought off fifa for 20 and all you get i don't buy packs brooks i don't buy packs i don't buy packs what i all right what i used to do he buys packs he buys a box of broken items all the returned packs the virtual returns i never in fifa i never bought packs i would just so there's websites where you could buy coins online and i would just buy the coins because

i just want to buy the players i don't want to gamble it i just want to buy the people i want to buy wow how responsible of you all right so uh we got 36 dollars 36 dollars 38 dollars 43 40 44 44 let's get the most expensive one yeah it says wireless headphones smart speakers tray sales liquidation wait you know what's in them? I don't think so. How does... It's trying to lure you in. How do you put sales liquidation on a pallet? Like, I feel like that's just like a phrase. You know? Because it's storage wars.

Pawn Stars. All right. Corey, you're going to have to order it, or Rooks, because I am a vagrant and don't really have an address. Fair enough. Yeah, that's very fair. Corey, can you do it? I don't want to go pick up a fucking pallet

of broken shit from my office that's in the next building over because that's where all my packages go. Alright, Corey, I'm going to send you the link. Please do. I can't wait. Treasure Truck? Is that what it's called? No. That'd be a better name for it is it treasure though because it sounds like you're just getting a lot of broken shit it's returned it doesn't be broken it's just like unloved by now okay

ship to me okay you had me at returned or broken items like what that's the thing your order has been placed it'll be here between October 12th and 17th tune in live on boxing like what the fuck could

possibly be in this shit I hope it's something like pretty good though now I'm now that it's that the money is out of my account, now I'm pretty excited about it. When it comes in, don't open it. We'll open it live and we'll draft pick items. Man, it's going to be so hard to not open it. I mean, as soon as it comes, emergency podcast episode. Yeah, I'll call you guys in it's like

it's the most real life scenario of a mystery box i've ever seen in my life so like wherever we'll see it's great but this one like there's there's probably no fun to it like because like in other mystery box things you get me because it's like okay maybe i'll get something that like i'll wear or something that's like a cool decoration. This is like, yeah, I might get some like somewhat broken shit or I might get broken shit. Like, you know how

funny it would be though if it is just a loose box of like broken pieces of plastic. That's genuinely what I think it's going to be. I would be so excited. It would be so funny funny it's better than like a couple sort of useful things i would lose it i would actually lose it does it say how many things i mean like how many items are in it i just hit i just hit the purchase button i don't

you think i read hold on let me see well i'm just curious like so does it have a description or anything in the photo there's an iphone a macbook an xbox a playstation a laptop projector i mean even if they're broken we could tape those together get something going i'm just gonna keep all of these if they're all good the stipulation is i get to keep all of them right guys thanks no no no no no no we're drafting them i i don't know like so the description says it's an adventure in courage all our products are carefully selected and that's the charm if you want a special shopping experience our products are the best choice for you one quality brand new products two products are random two to eight products at random

they can't even give us like a quantity like standard they random two to eight products at random they can't even give us like a quantity like standard they said two to eight dude imagine you and then if you go to features you get a box it's just two broken things the features and details also says two to three products at random so we went from two to eight to two to three pretty quick it's the it's the 19 000th best seller in electronics it does say quality is brand new products so it's really making me wonder why they're just sending them in boxes with other items well dude didn't you see the picture it was an xbox a projector an iphone um it's like it's like the whole fucking thing my hope is it's all of those things but they're hollow on the inside so it's just an empty show

that would be sweet god you know how much fun it would be to like pretend break all that stuff in front of somebody holiday party we get a uh what it's a rage room at the holiday party we We could set that up. YouTube prank now? Like, you're like, oh, I dropped my iPhone in front of strangers and see how they react. Asterisk emotional. Like, the prank is on us

for buying this. It's not a prank. I mean, self-sabotage. I'm just happy you guys immediately agreed to buy one this fucking guy Burns won't spend money on anything but you get a

fucking random $40 box on Amazon a broken shit and he's like I'm gonna roll the dice here have fun putting that one in your fucking spreadsheet man you had me sold at mystery alright look And he's like, I'm going to roll the dice here. Have fun putting that one in your fucking spreadsheet, man. You had me sold at mystery.

All right, look. Based on your response, you're getting the last pick in the draft. You're going to the fourth spot. You're getting the turn. Wait, no, Zach's not involved. Zach's not spending any money on this. Oh, Zach's getting third spot. And if there's only two products, it's me and Corey.

So, sorry. I'll take the L there. That's fine. All right, Corey, what's the estimated arrival date on that? Well, it's much like the product itself. We have a range. It's the 12th or the 17th. So yeah, I think a Wednesday falls in there somewhere.

Yeah, it's on a Wednesday. Thank you. It is Wednesday, my dear. My nipples are hard now. Number one, remove your bra. I like nuts. This is in my butt. I'm ready to go. Golf is a sexy thing. My dick will go like boop and just flip inside out and it'll turn into a vagina.

And you take me. Hi, boys. And of course, Pennsylvania. You leave the butter in the crack. Why is my spaghetti fizzy? I want to kiss you on the mouth, baby. God damn, he's so good. Yeah, it calls me big time. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah.

Booty. Of course, it makes me dookie. If you just wanted to slurp something and then spit it back. And then I swallow. I want to die. Raw dog and lower. A kid's turkey based on nipples. You just got slopped.

The rock's dick has anchor arms. I think I got to get out of here. I'm going to get the paint broke. I know a fucking great question. Who has vertical butt cheeks? To the death. No think I gotta get out of here. Where'd you get the paint from? I don't fucking... Great question! Who has vertical butt cheeks? To the death. No farts looking down on us! He's like, fuck it, we're just fucking gay, man!

It is Wednesday, my dudes. Welcome back to another episode of It's Wednesday, My Dudes. Episode 80. Zach's gone this week. He's out milking crabs to find the next type of milk alternative. But we got Corey. Jesus Christ. Nice.

Hey, what's up? It's been a month. I feel like it's been a month. Crab milk. It's been a month. It's actually been a month. You were here a couple weeks ago. Kind of.

But sort of a month. How do you get milk out of a crab? Hypothetically, where's the milk? Actually, only three of its legs have milk, little known fact. How do you know which legs they are? Do you just destroy them all and hope you

fucking strike gold? The fourth one's the business leg. Crabs have way more... Hold on a second. Crabs have way more. Hold on a second. Crabs have way more than fucking four legs. Just by the way. As the Maryland crab picker here, like,

what are you thinking? I mean, four of them for milking, though. The rest are just, you know, boring walking. I thought you said one of them was the business leg. Is that business and milk? Three are for milk.

One's for business. The other ones are for pleasure. We got one that's all three. I mean, those are kind of the milk legs. Hi, guys. Sorry. I missed you. oh yeah hey hi guys sorry like we said we've been gone for a while so there's no topic because i'm assuming i just talk about random nonsense i just want to say hey the last month and if not you guys at least me

because man i got a couple stories i got a prop even a prop, like a real life thing. What? Bird bought this box off Amazon, right? Okay, they said it was going to be a few things. Turns out, eight dead babies in the box. I'm in trouble. Could you tell if it was two or eight dead babies? Because I assume they had to separate them, you know, limbs and all. Yeah. So how they packaged it with all the bubble wrap

and stuff, things kind of got squished. So it's kind of hard to tell. If you count the limbs, it's around five. Great segue. That's the age. That was the age. Great segue. Limbs and all all so i was trying to think like

i could i can't think like three weeks ago for the last time we talked but two weeks ago was uh we had a wedding claire and i had a wedding to go to lexi do you guys know brian knows lexi yeah okay my sister's roommate from college like her freshman year was getting married i don't think I've had the pleasure sorry I don't know who you're talking about there you go we were supposed to go Friday night and then we pulled

a not a laziness move but like we were gonna get there Friday after work and we were like you just want to like stay here so we stayed in and then drove Saturday morning but we watched Jeffrey Dahmer good show talking about cutting up limbs and uh dead babies uh did we watch him live uh no yeah uh about 30 years later 20 years later however many years later no he's still alive right yeah oh did he uh yeah hang gliding accident yeah yeah he actually he got out of jail which is the crazy part and then he went hang gliding

it's no no no it was it was a field trip they were trying to pick trash out of the air so they all went hang gliding um i might need to watch this documentary now yeah i mean the ending i still haven't actually seen it so i don't who knows i can't even tell you he's famous for dropping people off hang gliders yeah that's how he kills them so that was his favorite way to murder people he only murdered himself that way though so um yeah second favorite way milking crabs yeah with their pleasure legs um but so we watched this so we watched that on friday and then which i loved loving it uh saturday drove to jim thorpe nice little um like it's like a little Jim Thorpe PA. It's like a little townie area. That's a football player, right?

That's a man. Jim Thorpe. That's not a town. Jim Thorpe PA is a town in PA. What? Is it named after Jim Thorpe? I don't believe so. Is it named after a football player?

I don't know what this person was named after, but I'm telling you, Jim Thorpe, PA, exists. And it's like an old... That's just a guy's name, though. I grew up in the beautiful town of Preston Carmines, Wyoming. It's called Jim Thorpe. I don't know what you want from me. Like, man. Is there a space in the town name i wasn't over there just reading all the

signs and just taking it in and just you know you went to a town man you went to a town called pennsylvania and you don't have any questions no because i've been there before i mean you think the first question has to be, does Jim live there? Jim Thorpe was so fucking old. No, the town's named after Jim Thorpe. That's where he grew up. Well, what the fuck was the town before Jim was there? Let me look.

Probably an actual name on the town. The mayor right now is Mike Sofranco. Bill. Didn't get to meet him, though. Well,

anyway, nice. Went to Lexi's wedding. Had a good time. We kind of just like went in, drank a lot. My parents went to the wedding,

which was fun because it was the first time like we went to a wedding that wasn't like a family member. And so they were drinking. to the wedding, which was fun because it was the first time we went to a wedding that wasn't a family member. They were drinking. They were dancing. It was fun. I don't know if I'm reading

this correctly, but it was originally Jim Thorpe, PA was originally named Mouch Chunk, a name derived from the term Mousek Unk Bear Place in the language of

native Muncie-Lenap-Delaware peoples. So it's like it used to be Mouch Chunk is the name of the town before Jim Thorpe. This place needs to be burned to the ground. Like, not this place. Sorry to interrupt. I think we need to take over and rename it because

they'll take anything yeah i mean how much do you think in ford gym does amazon no no do you think amazon sells towns on a pallet that we could buy yeah probably this are you saying that this town was damaged oh definitely damaged returned twice i mean it used to be munch chunk and now it's what in the fuck i would say downgrade in the name just gotta put that out there he went from edm dj to like sales and downgrade i'm agreeing i'm elaborating um all right well anyway had a time alexi's wedding do you think do you think dead mouse would play no mouse because it's jim thorpe his own festival oh do you think jim thorpe would play in jim thorpe like does he go there and sign autographs

like i would go there and just sign everything like j, Jim Thorpe, nice to meet you. Jim Thorpe, sign a baby. Jim Thorpe, on your forehead. Does he own the town? Does he legally get it? I don't, brother, I don't know. I'm already pretty upset about how much we've talked about Jim Thorpe, which was really

I thought we'd just kind of keep going. Hey, the National Treasure of Pennsylvania. I guess. Yeah. He stole the declaration of mouse chunk. Moose chunk. Shout out Moose Tracks. Give them a follow.

Or don't. So, Corey, the weekend. Back to Jim Thorpe. Month. I don't know. Drove back Sunday. I'm rattled now. So, drove back Sunday.

Then this weekend weekend we went to uh we just had a night in claire and uh cat and i just like went to the local bar and just like sat at a table and talked hung out and then went to the fucking like hurricane ian penn state game and convinced uh claire's older brother pat to come and And he's like a Pitt fan. He was a good sport. And had a lot of fun. But man, if you're trying to like show people a good time for a Penn State game. Don't bring them to a game where there's a hurricane. Because it was a lot.

It like was perfect. Like no rain at all. We get to the tailgate. And it was Judd's tailgate. So there was like a lot of tents and stuff. And it was like the tailgating was fine. But then just immediate like torrential downpours right before the game starts like right once we have to walk in um so we left at halftime because i was like it's 14 nothing it was like

either we lose or like or we win and we've seen them score touchdowns, so let's go. So we got home, crashed. I don't even remember what I did Sunday. I think I just hung out. But I have my ranking, and oh, no, no. Watch the Eagles, 4-0. Forgot to mention that. Penn State's 5-0. So my ranking lends it to that, and now it's upsetting because we talk about Jim Thorpe a lot,

which has nothing to do with my ranking, which was one pair of jeans and an undefeated football and jim thorpe mostly jim thorpe though all right follow-up question is it jim thorpe related hold on yeah yeah okay since we already convinced you to buy something earlier today you guys want to split a plot of land and jim thorpe pa how close to the town is it? It probably costs nothing, right? I mean... Do we get to meet Jim Thorpe himself? I think it's Jim Thorpe's grave, if anything.

Do I get to look like Tim Riggins in Front of Night Lights when he sees that plot of land he wants and just stand there and breathe and stare at it for 10 minutes? It's actually pretty expensive. Nothing's under 100K. Alright right we can move on what yes it's like a nice town like it's like a small town but it's nice sorry i wasn't looking at land i was looking at buildings he's trying yeah yeah i don't want a building i just want to plot a land oh 50k oh 15k beautiful 1.2 acre lot 613 cold spring drive jim thorpe pa we could do it take over slowly now somebody else is gonna buy it yeah that's true we're doing some uh real estate

right now for people we're doing their jobs um 7.5k because i'm not gonna sit here and listen to him look at lots of lands of jim and thorpe brooks how was your weekend um this fucking month wasn't bad you know it took a little trip out to this little town in pennsylvania what the fuck is it called it's like uh moose chunk mouse Mouth chunk? No, I've been fucking big time vibing. Your boy has been coaching football and chilling. And then on the weekends, I'm really tired. And I just want to like hang out and watch football. So been big time chilling.

Nothing, nothing really going on here, to be honest. Like I've just been been coaching, watching football. I will say, I found over these last couple weeks, the ultimate seltzer is Vizzy's, and it's not close. Vizzy's seltzers are far and away the best seltzer you can have. Vizzy, seriously sponsor us. We'll get rid of any conversations you don't like on this podcast. We'll edit them all out.

Burns got it because especially he wants a Busy too. I want a pallet of returned Busy cans. Okay, we'll put that in the contract. Their headquarters is in Sweden, South Carolina. I was seeing if it was in Jim Thorpe. It's not. What the fuck? Sweden, South Carolina. I was seeing if it was in Jim Thorpe. It's not. What the fuck? Sweden, South Carolina?

Uh-huh. I mean, we got a ticket on this one. What is going on? What the fuck is happening right now? I want to see a southern dude with a Swedish accent. I would be so lost. I don't think you'd be able to understand him that's terrifying um yeah i just busy's absolutely goaded if you have anything to say to me about that um call in but like you will catch these hands through the phone like soldier

boy said what flavors all of them they're all good and like i hate but like i hate what flavors do they have so they had like i had like a lemonade pack that was like four different kinds of lemonade i had one that was like good choice it was like peach pineapple and like two other flavors and i typically hate peach and pineapple but they both slapped like it's like good because it's not like super syrupy but like it's not like white claw where it's like you get one tiny little hint of the flavor and then it's just like soda water and then it has antioxidants in it as well i drink like okay i drink like 50 of those fuckers one day like literally 50 felt perfectly fine the next day i literally sponsor me like busy hit your boy up you know what i was wrong boys wrong busy company

there is a company of busyizzy in Sweden, South Carolina. This one is the dumb name of a town. It's music. Hold on. I just moved away from it. It was the industry says media, entertainment, music, movies,

or music video editing. It's boring. But Molson owns Vizzy, I guess. And editing it's boring um but molson owns busy i guess and so it's what's molson like uh it's a brewery in canada now i'm just questioning my research ability because that doesn't that doesn't sound right like how do you let us talk about it no most molson cores molson cores launches busy hard seltzer like dive into it that much but like how do you let us talk about it? No, Molson Coors. Molson Coors launches Vizzy Hard Seltzer. We didn't really, like, dive into it that much. But, like, how do you let us talk about Sweden, South Carolina

while you're just staring at the page for Vizzy on your phone? You're like, yeah, this looks like a seltzer company. I went to the first link that was Vizzy company profile funding. You'd think the first Vizzy you would find. That doesn't discredit the fact that there's a suite in South Carolina that still exists oh podcast trip

that'd be fun we've never done a podcast road trip Jim Thorpe PA down to fucking Sweden South Carolina but we have to get Zach to go by just saying we're gonna go to Sweden and then just like put him in a car for 12 hours. Yeah, the best international airport is in Jim Thorpe, PA.

We got to drive up north a little bit. We took care of your ticket, though. We're flying private. That's why we have to go out there. Jim Thorpe himself, raised from his grave, will fly us over to Sweden. Jimmy Moosechunk. Was he a running back? his grave will fly us over to sweden but jimmy moose chunk was he running yeah he was like he was like an olympian and he played like i think he played both sides of the ball too i was back

when like people could do that iron man back when they all had fucking like no helmets on and shit and they all definitely had cte after like three days of playing no because they didn't like play back then how how far back was this like 1800s i think it's i think it's football playing i think it was uh i think it was in like the early 1900s probably doesn't even remember they built a whole town after him i mean look back in the day in the 1800s they just like smoked cigarettes and like waved their hands around and kicked the ball every once in a while. Ball players are everybody.

I mean, that's kind of just life. Waving hands and balls. Smoking, waving hands, kicking balls. So Jim Thorpe was 1887 until 1953. So confused right now. He was born on Wikipedia. It says born in Mayim thorpe no this is born may 22nd or 28th what the fuck does that mean

it's like so you know how the shipping shipping works yeah yeah his parents ordered him it depends if your parents ordered him and then you know, and then they didn't know which day he was going to show up. He required a signature at the door to get him, and they just were there out that day. I'm staring at this fucking page right now. I'm like, this makes literally no sense. I just like that they know that there's a discrepancy. So my grandma doesn't know her well she's dead now but she didn't know her like birth year exactly because like they just they

lost her birth certificate at some point so she's like yeah you know it was like it was like 23 1923 or something or like 33 I don't know and my mom's like no it's like 1932 she's like I don't know. And then my mom was like, no, it was like 1932. And she's like, I don't know, it was 1933. And then my grandpa was like, I don't really care.

like ever? It was a bit late. Because I was like, I don't know, I don't know when she forgot it. She had to have known it when she was younger. Then you know what you do?

You just fucking count backwards. Well, she didn't. She didn't. I mean, once you you're like 21 age doesn't matter and like back in the 1920s you grab what's and then your age doesn't matter anymore little uh wooden thing no wooden thing with like a little beads on it you do math but atticus or some shit like that pull the fucking abacus out and start counting backwards cut tip of your finger off count the rings

it'll figure it out no I mean yeah I don't know how you just forget halfway through your life cause like you should know that but also I forget how old I am all the time and I'm not that old so I don't know maybe I have early onset like alzheimer's already

shout out jim thorpe we can cut this out but i just got the wrong delivery for grubhub so i have oh yeah so much goddamn food it is insane hold on i mean can we draft it was hold on was this the mystery box i just ordered amazon's quick dog first of all what absolutely leave this in by the way what what tipped me off was the fact that i got a frosty and i didn't get a frosty and then there's also two bags and i am one person and i ordered like one meal so i have i have a large fry of a frosty i have a junior i have a what is this a junior cheeseburger oh hold on i'll just read off i see that i see the receipt here we go um a large fry 10 piece spicy nuggets uh baconator double two blt crispy chickens a junior cheeseburger deluxe and a frosty and uh spicy hot honey sandwich there's a fucking i was gonna say there's a

family that is so fucking upset they're getting one fucking four for four when they just ordered like forty dollars worth of food hold on let me just close my curtains that way I can't see the driver if he comes back to try to pick it up Jim Thorpe's grandkids are going hungry tonight cuz you just stole their order Oh, I will say I got last weekend I got Buffalo Wild wild wings and they fucking like you know how it's like if you get like a large it's like three different you can get three sauces for five wings like each there's like 15 total wings yeah i don't know if they were just like we're gonna

bless this man's or something but like two of my little boxes had five and one of them had like, I think, eight or nine in it. And like it's still in the small one. So I was like, you saw that like this didn't close and you just kept loading fucking wings into it. Like, yeah, appreciate you. But like, it's just the epitome of Buffalo Wild Wings being just like the dumbest fucking the dumbest fucking restaurant on this planet. Hey, you take that extra win. I fucking I was hyped to shit. dumbest fucking restaurant on this planet. Hey. You take that extra win. I was hyped as shit.

I was like, you guys, how do we fuck this up this bad? Anyways. Oh yeah, back to my weekend. Yeah, Vizzies were great. Football is 50-50. Some days I love it, some days I fucking hate it. I'm going to rate my month 50 Vizzies. 50? some days i love it some days i fucking hate it um i'm gonna rate my month uh i'm gonna rate my

month 50 vizzies 50 oh did you literally have 50 in a day i had 55 okay yeah i mean you did at one point say no i had probably 55 i I think I had like a million. I drank a beer. Another 70. What's Wade Boggs record? No, I think I had, I think in like the span of like a day and a half, like I watched football for a full day and then I watched football like the next day as well. I think I probably had like 15 to 20 busies.

Okay, that makes a lot more sense i didn't know if they're like little guys and you literally had 50 of them because that's crazy all right yeah oh my god my last den please take us to the crack stories brother i would have i would have said it was like a 20% chance that you were going to make it out of that place. Yeah, honestly, I'm just happy to see you, man, for real. Oh. Oh, same. I'm like, I have complaints about where I'm at now, but it's nothing compared to Denver. So, no. I mean, Denver was a mystery box of a location.

I'll get into it. Mystery box is just humans that would show up outside my door all the time. Freaking. So, but like last week, two weeks, last two weeks before I left, power went out just in the middle of the day at a hotel. Like, when has that ever happened? So, I'm just sitting there like trying to do work, do anything. I have like meetings and stuff and it just doesn't come back on for like 15 minutes. Half an hour later, it comes back on. Cool. I got a meeting in another half an hour. Perfect timing. Wi-Fi is still out though. The Wi-Fi stays out for three hours. So I just like go to the gym and come back. Wi-Fi finally comes back on. But then I'm back from the

gym. I'm like like all right i'm gonna work for a couple hours finish up my day take a shower the water's out so now the water the wi-fi and the same day sick water comes back on at like midnight awesome sit there stinky from the gym for like the entire day i was miserable um have you guys ever had a korean hot dog that's not a euphemism just like an actual korean hot dog i know what you're talking about but no i have not and i got it in my pants hey yo sorry i i had to corey's dying no they're incredible give you the worst stomach ache in the world but like

you should try it it's like a corn dog but with like twice the amount of batter on the outside but there's also potatoes in the batter so it's like a hash brown but also the inside can be half hot dog half cheese stick what oh and they give you like thai chili sauce and like yum yum sauce you had me up until the half cheese stick my my brain just went like went down it just much like the power at your hotel it just shut off and the wi-fi and the water but that's my suggestion for the week second i wanted to hike uh i just like picked the one the coolest views did not research it enough it started at 13 000 feet you had to drive for like an hour just straight up the hill i got there hiked for one mile and was like yeah i can't

do this i can't breathe at all because it ended at 15 000 feet there's like this group of girls around me just like chatting it up walking around like it was nothing and i was out there like on my hands and knees just like crawling on the ground like it just is dying dude everest base camp's 19 000 feet like i'm a couple miles away from like i i just don't know how people do it man you have to train your lungs to do it i know but like i was in denver for three weeks so i was like at half of that height he did have a korean hot so i thought like at half of that height. He did have a Korean hot dog. So I thought like, maybe like I could have helped. You are prone to, aren't you like prone to altitude sickness or something?

I wouldn't say prone to it. He was born at high altitudes, so it always comes back later on. Didn't your family have a whole my mom's story so if people don't know altitude sickness it's like one in four people get it if you're at like and it starts when you're at like 10 000 feet like you have to be pretty high up and like we me cory cody alex joel went to peru and like part of the time we're there you're above 10 000000 feet and so I've had out suits like this you just your head kind of hurts you can't breathe and then you feel a little like sick cuz your head hurts and you can't breathe over Christmas like two years ago we were in Denver which is

5,000 feet people live there like very normally it's not that high up my whole family gets food poisoning like everyone's throwing up and like crapping in the toilet all of us for like two days straight. And then we come back from the trip and mom was like, yeah, I don't know if I'm gonna go back to Denver. Just the altitude was so high. We all got sick. I was like, mom, that's not altitude sickness.

You don't poop from altitude sickness. That's just not how it is. You don't poop from altitude sickness. People in the streets of Denver every day just shitting and vomiting everywhere just literally like man i love this city i mean if you watch any episode of south park it kind of makes sense but no like and it was like eight of the ten family members all got it's like guys we are not high up enough like people can go to everest which is like 30,000 feet in the air.

And you're not diary reading the entire mountain all the way up. So she still will stand by that so hard that it was up to. That's like a caveat and like tough hikes. It's like, yeah, once you get to about this height, you're just, you're not,

your stomach's not going to feel great. Okay. You're going to need to dig. It's like the brown, a bunch of holes. It's like the brown note. Dig a bunch of holes. Exactly. The brown note. Oh, my God.

It's the brown elevation point. It's like 14,000 feet. 169. I haven't heard anybody burn just a brown note since like middle school. You guys want to try to hit it real quick? Ready? Three, two, one. hit it real quick ready three two oh sorry to get us off track there brag go ahead

uh we have to give everyone a couple minutes to go wipe real quick give it a second all right now that you're back all right next door broncos country let's ride one to the game they're horrible dude they're horrible dude they're so bad they're such a shitty fucking team the first drive they had they like stalled in the

end zone everyone booed them the entire game as soon anytime they punted anytime anything bad happened like usually teams like if something really bad happens the fans will boo or whatever but it was every time i was like man these guys are not happy got that free towel though that says broncos country let's ride though so unreal that they did that unreal best part of the day i mean they know what they're doing yeah it's such a it's such a fucking meme at this point like you have to um after that i had tickets to see the room where tommy was oh did a q a beforehand got a photo with him shook his hand met the dude in person might have got some merch dude also i just have a lot of notes about the room um i know rooks we can kind of a fan. Oh, I'm a huge fan. I think we should... I would genuinely do a whole episode dissecting the movie.

I need more than a few minutes. I need more than a few minutes to talk about The Room because it is just a fucking modern masterpiece. I mean, I have some notes. I'll go through some things real quick. So everyone that I saw... I'm assuming they've all seen it before. I hadn't't so it was such a weird experience to go because it was like you know when they people movie theaters will show like rocky horror picture show and like

people get up and dance and sing and do all that nonsense yes it was like that except everyone would like boo a lot and like yell things so anytime there's a scene with water in it because every like in between scenes it just pans like the ocean. Everyone just screamed water. And it's literally in between every scene. Anytime anyone went up or down the stairs, everyone went swoosh, swoosh,

swoosh. I don't know why. Every time they took a step, um, everyone had spoons and there's a photo frame in the background of one of all, all the scenes. Cause it's like one room anytime the spoon was in there they would throw spoons at the scene at the screen and like everyone had spoons like

Thousands of them. It was they have spoons there any time someone bring any No, and I was like in the back so like they threw him and I I wasn't be able to like catch Eddie to also throw I could have asked for them though they had like literally like thousands of them everyone brought i don't know anytime people would kiss or like make out they would go oh wow wow it sounded like the 300 out there it was it was so weird but so funny um and anytime anyone mentioned the phrase my best friend because what what it's Mark is Johnny's best friend. Everyone go, he's your best friend. And what else did they scream?

Oh, so during the sex scenes, he humps like really high up. He's nowhere near where a female vagina is. He's nowhere near where a female vagina is he's nowhere near it or any kind of sex scene everyone's go i would just go lower and there's dude this movie is so horny i had not realized so horny there's there's three sex scenes in the first half an hour yeah and they're super like they're not like they're not like it's not like a one pump and like outro fade like a lot of like a lot of movies no you are just watching him thrust her belly button for like eight minutes it's it's a lot it's three i have no three sex scenes in thursday

three sex scenes in the first 30 minutes three football scenes in the next 30 minutes and then another two sex scenes in the five minutes the scene where it's him and uh I think it's him and Denny who are running and throwing the football with each other and they're just throwing

it back and forth in this park it's like dude what in the fuck are we doing why did we write this eight minute passing drill into the script like what the fuck is this shit the whole crowd counted how many times they threw it back and forth it was great so fucking funny the other thing was apparently there's one line that everyone knew that they all yelled was i definitely have breast cancer it was like the one line the whole like they would yell out random things that were like happening but not the exact line but that one apparently was big for everybody um so you know uh if you're ever gonna see that

movie and you haven't seen it go see it in that kind of theater because it was so entertaining also he has a movie coming out called big shark and he showed a trailer for it at the beginning and it looks so bad and i'm so excited to see it now because the cgi is like worse than sharknado cgi it's it's great shout out everyone watch it i'll post the trailer when it's out okay i still got more it's been a long month man uh had a concert got canceled an hour before that sucked and then the next day we had a killer's concert that was supposed to be in october that got canceled too so denver ended poorly yeah canceled postponed also the next place i was going after denver i just stopped in salt lake city and i was like you know

after being in a crack den for a little bit i should double check what this hotel is that i'm going to next and i'm very lucky i did all the reviews say that they they make you do a down payment deposit whatever but it's on your credit card but they also need a hundred dollars in cash for you to get a room so i changed so i changed hotel like i was all the reviews so i changed it a couple days ahead of time and i was like all right good solved i didn't get shooken down by some salt lake city mormon people um save myself there but my last denver story get shooken down by some Salt Lake City Mormon people. Saved myself there. But my last Denver story. The day before I'm moving out, there's a new guy on my floor.

I'm on the third floor. He's in a wheelchair. He's just out there like chain smoking cigarettes. Cool. I'm leaving. That's fine. Go to my room. But I leave to go to the gym again. And he's in the doorway to go to the stairs.

And so I'm like, excuse me me and he just doesn't move so i just kind of like squeak around him and like go to the gym cool come back from the gym he's still up there but like on the other side in the other doorway just in the way chain smoking cigarettes wheelchair guy got it go to bed wake up to move all my stuff in the morning he's still out out there? Like, just hanging out in his wheelchair? Is he alive? Is he breathing? So he, like, waves me down and tries to talk to me, but I realize he's deaf. So the reason I, like, tried to get around him and couldn't was because he literally couldn't hear me. So he's, like, trying to communicate with me, but, like, he's deaf, can't really understand him.

But I found out he's locked out of his room. And he's just chilled there for there for like a full fucking day i i mean he was just chain smoking cigarettes before i don't maybe he was just hanging out before and he got back in and he got locked out in the morning i don't know but like he literally had the tv remote in his lap to his like tv in the room and he was like showing me like i i'm in this room i'm just locked out asshole burn big fucking asshole dude so i was like i'm trying to go to the gym get the fuck away from me man i'm going it burns in his fucking burns in his place like ew man this guy's fucking ripping cigarettes all day terrible for your health he never said anything before he never even weighed me down and there's more people that like walked around so he could have gotten someone else's attention because I was like 4 p.m. the day before.

But maybe he was out the whole time. I don't know. But like he asked for help. I'm like, yeah, I got you. Go down, get the car from the office. I'm like, there's a guy in a wheelchair who's like locked out his room. And the guy's like, the friend is like, oh, we're supposed to move him to the first floor. And like runs to the back, yell at somebody and comes back with the key to his room like thanks where the fuck did you stay

man they literally this fucking poor guy dude i well and so i get him his key back and i like tech i figured out like oh how you communicate you just texted your phone great so i typed out like they wanted to move you the guy was mad they might be might be moving you. And he was like, well, they did it. I'm going to go sleep now. And I was like, all right, cool. But so to get the key though, he gave me a piece of paper and he was like, he wrote on it for the front office. Like I'm locked down in my room at this number, let this guy get the key for me. And I'm like, I finished packing up my stuff i'm at the hotel the next day and i still have that piece of paper i'm like let me read that again just make

sure i like read everything correctly and it was pretty standard but the piece of paper he wrote it on was for i told you like this uh hotel takes the like homeless lottery tickets that they like hand out so like it's literally a flyer for like getting free rent at a hotel if you're like homeless and you can like but on the back of it there's his notes the very first line of the notes just says how about contact ufo i'm just like dude oh my fucking god you were so nice the second line is house underground third line was what happened at the hotel two question marks well comma oops broke rule on beer simple out so move if you want to speak you should exclamation point ada law after laws and then there's like a actual thing about ada laws that he wrote out at the bottom i'm so confused so is he writing that

down to communicate to people so you know what he told other people maybe because like some of one of those things was like seemed like you would have been saying something to somebody yeah somebody somebody was just trying to squeeze past him in the hallway and they were like oh sorry sir and he was like hi and they were like do you actually do you know anything about the ada loss because they really throw me for a loop right now and he's like here i got this piece of paper and just started right now but right before that alien contacted him you know know, there's a problem. It's such a mix of like intelligent talk about ADA laws. He's in a wheelchair. Makes sense.

Also him breaking rules on beer. Somehow there's a hotel that's underground and there's UFOs. I was like, man, what an interesting human being. So I'm going to keep this forever because that is such a wait. Is the hotel one is it say hotel underground question mark house underground that's one line and then the next line says what happened at the hotel oh i was gonna say hotel underground question mark like is that like is he asking if the hotel's underground is he like that that one i feel

like has like a lot of different interpretations you can ride with. That one you're going to need context behind. You're going to need more than just hotel underground. I wish I opened up the note and read those and could have asked him because, man, that guy has some stories, I'm sure. I hope when your parents ask you, like, did you bring back any souvenirs from your trip? That's the first thing and maybe even the only thing that you bring up. Oh, yeah, from Denver. souvenirs from your trip that's the first thing and maybe even the only thing that you bring up oh yeah from denver i actually got this flyer from this deaf guy at the hotel who might be like senile yeah he's also in a wheelchair and was locked out all night chain smoke he offered me

a cigarette great guy turned him down because it's good dude probably don't want to do that um yeah no so that guy's great it was such a good ending to my my denver stay met my boy jay day one met ufo guy on the last day just really i can't i just can't believe they were like book ending like i can't believe they one dude was just like back down in the office and you brought it up he's like oh fuck we left him out there dude what the fuck say hey man today oh you were supposed to bring the wheelchair guy downstairs what the fuck man like it's been over 24

hours like how do you fucking mismanage that it's so how do you put him on the third floor in the first place he's in a wheelchair does this place have elevators or anything there's an elevator but it's like hard to find and I'm sure it doesn't work.

I never used it. I can tell you right now, it definitely does not work. How the fuck did they get him on the third floor in the first place? I don't know. They carried him up there, and he's just like writing shit on the paper and showing them, and they don't know what the fuck they're doing. They're like, I don't give a shit. A UFO brought him up onto the third floor. He didn't go up. He came down.

Hold on. The hotel is underground. Yeah. I was going to say. It's under the UFO. No, he got it. They pulled him up on the upper floor and he was like, oh, where's my room? And he's like, oh, is my house underground?

Because he's just like, oh, this is the level I can see. This is my first floor. Yeah. And he's supposed to is my house underground because he's just like oh like this is like the level I can see like this is my first floor yeah yeah he thought the lobby was up more he was like is it underground because I don't see the aliens transported him to a local forum

to inform people about ADA laws yeah yeah a local forum do you think he got kicked out of the ADA laws. Yeah, yeah. Ted talked that day. A local forum. Do you think he got kicked out of the UFO because he broke the rule on beer? Is that the final? That's what it had to be.

Damn. I wish you could see this guy every week. We'd have some pretty good... We gotta get this man on the podcast. This is Mad Libs of real life. You know, the best podcast hosts are ones that are deaf that really just can't hear anything in the world. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, Burn, take it easy.

We could transcribe it. I mean, that's what I did. No, I mean like a whole podcast. Yeah. Okay. That's just called a book on tape. Yeah, there you go. She writes a book and then we read it yeah i'll tell you right now

i read that guy's fucking book i'm joking okay if he ever gets down to the he ever puts pen to paper i'm reading what the fuck's going on okay if he ever gets down to the first floor of the hotel to write that book and ship it out he'll be the first one to see it oh he's a gave us shout out patrick hansen room 304 you're the best why are you calling him out why you just docks this man on the air dude docks no he's my buddy me jay patrick hansen and uh the ufo he's my good times boy he i was gonna say do you think he has social media? He definitely has a Facebook. You know that

fucker has gone on Facebook and been like these goddamn UFOs are driving me insane and it's like this whole thing. He's a 4chan guy and then like a premium Snapchat only. Gotta make money somehow. Premium Snapchat? Jesus Christ. MySpace.

Alright, I'm in Seattle now. My one one thing the ceiling here is about six foot three uh for reference i'm about six foot two so i hit my head about five times i'm so tall for my god it's so difficult people don't understand what i go through okay i've hit my head so hard so you said you're not i'm not worried about my health anymore might get a little bit more cte from being here uh they're like right above where i'm sitting it's like an extra foot shorter so whenever i get out from my desk from work i have to like remember not to just stand straight up because I've four days in a row, just smack my head on a corner. So if I don't respond for a couple of days,

call 911. Tell him you're in Jim Thorpe. Yeah. Bury me there. I'm calling. I'm calling. Oh, what's his name?

Patrick Hanson. I'm giving Chris Hanson. Patrick. what's his name patrick hansen i'm giving chris hansen patrick hansen patrick hansen's the chris hansen for aliens he just he traps them into abducting him and they are about to put a probe in his butt he's like uh there's a camera this camera this camera this camera tell him how old you think i am There's a camera. This camera. This camera. This camera. This camera. Tell them how old you think I am. The fuck was that? Oh, buddy.

Aliens. I'll say it. I'm so glad you're out of Denver. Yeah, me too. Thank you. I'm glad I'm not there anymore. It's... It's... Gave me a lot of stories, though, man.

Gave us Patrick Hansen, so we'll take it. With the second overall pick. First pick, Jim Thorpe. Second, Patrick Hansen. Third pick, Jay. Don't know his last name. He's got one leg. Might not be a good running back.

Probably could kick the ball pretty far, though. So, Rooks... Wait, what? Hit us with a horoscope. Wait, what? Oh, shit a horoscope. Wait, what? Oh, shit. We've been talking for an hour? It's an hour.

What was your ranking? Hold on. Did you give a rating? We didn't even fucking do anything. We just recapped the month. We talked about fucking Jim Thorpe for like 10 minutes. This is what you people pay for. Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode.

Yeah, we love you. If you ever meet someone named Patrick Hanson, yes. Chris Hanson, no. That's my horoscope. Thank you. you