It’s Wednesday My Dudes - Ep. 81: Everyone's Favorite Mensch, The Rock

Episode Date: October 12, 2022

The boyos buy a loot box, and are immediately very conufsed and disappointed. Claire gets her wallet stolen by the Yinzer Bandits, Bryan thinks the Rock is Jewish, and Zak finally goes to the Doctor. Rate us 5 stars on Spotify! and leave a review and rate on Apple Podcasts! Links here to follow on social media! and find other places to listen!

And here we go. Zach, how's the casting update? What's a you can be famous soon or what? No, no, no. You got denied. No, I didn't apply. Pass the audition. No, I'm not going to be on Temptation.

I'm not gonna be on Temptation Island. The C-list. Actually, that's probably giving too much credit. It's probably the D-list dating show or whatever. Isn't Temptation Island you have to have a relationship first? Yeah, but then they bring in single people, a.k.a. me, and then I have to wreck it, I guess. That would have been it?

Have to. You mean get to. Good. Yeah, I would. Do you do that in your real life? Come on. No, I've never broken up a real you've had plenty of just you know key wording that you did say real in there i've like i've broken up

relationships that women think they have with me that i don't go into if that makes sense so i break up that relationship yeah so you have plenty of practice i don't know man that's the best role they they cast you as the villain and then you get to be the villain or you become the nice guy like either way you make either you do what you're supposed to or you become the nice guy i'm basically i'm like basically bane right you live long enough to see yourself become the that's batman i don't know one of them that's bane saying it to batman correct Basically, I'm basically Bane, right? You live long enough to see yourself become the... That's Batman. I don't know. One of them.

That's Bane saying it to Batman. Correct. Your ass, brother. You could be both. Yeah, I could be both. What's more than Temptation Island? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. The casting director still follows me on social media, so maybe when...

I would have done it if it was Love is Blind or not, or... Actually, probably not Love is Blind. I would have done it if it was love is blind or not or actually probably love is blind i would have done it if it was no yeah love is blind don't they get married yeah no that's way too serious there's too many dating shows with the word love in it and i was i meant love island if it's love island with the bachelor uh bachelor love island or hot new bombshell you have to go on the international version of Love Island. They would just fake an accent the entire time. Yeah, just be like, here comes an American import, Zach Kirshner.

That's pretty good. It's solid. I can't do a British accent. All right, Corey, what are you being cast in? What's your update? Were we supposed to have casting call updates this week i don't know we're going with it oh i've got it i've got another update cory you can feed off of if you want you don't got anything i mean i got nothing for casting calls okay i've been gone

for a while go ahead uh so i started flying football last thursday and i almost got into a fight with the other team uh one on seven uh so it's it's full contact it's it's full contact at the line right so it's it's pretty physical so i can i'm playing d line and i am just i am just destroying these kids they're getting frustrated and they are getting and i think i accidentally one time i like exploded up into his chest and then somehow like hit my head into his eye and he got like a black eye and he was not happy he was yelling at me he was basically he said he's like sorry dude if you know you're trying to relive your high school glory days when you tore your acl and you're

trying to get it out here i'm like first of all i'm like first of all i did not play it down in high school football um and then then these are my glory days. Yeah, exactly. My glory days are now, but I wasn't doing anything wrong. The refs weren't throwing a flag. I played flag football in the same league two or three other times, and I played the same way, no flags or anything. So in the next play, this guy, he just is on the line blocking.

He just gets down and tackles my legs, which is definitely a penalty, but the ref didn't see it. And so I just kind of look at the ref i'm like all right whatever and then he proceeds to go to the other side of the line to block another guy and then i turn to him i say what you getting tired bud need a little break and then the other team the other teammates didn't take too kindly to that um and then i proceeded to get like triple teamed and then uh like thrown to the ground and then they were all standing over me like oh i'm about to get into my first fight um and everyone just kind of teammates sack the quarterback if you had yeah yeah yeah they got they yeah it was a it was a very bad play call by them um so yeah i i uh i did my job um they i ended up kind of just standing over me and i

and then they saw me stand up and i think they got a little nervous and by the rest of my team members got um got my back or whatever um the quarterback was a little weird he said like he took like shits bigger than me which i was like that's very impressive like normally you say that about somebody who's like five five like if you're taking a six foot five shit tell him to go call his doctor yeah i was like it's like jesus boy um and then like they were trying to run like crap they're trying to run like crack back blocks on me like have a receiver come in and i'm like i'm like i'm like i didn't mind because i'm like this is this is i'm like this is what i signed up for i want to have have fun and they just were very uh they're just very soft very soft boys

i love that it took final score was six 6-0. It was a defensive struggle. What? So it was like rainy and windy because we play right on the lake, on Lake Michigan. So there's always a wind factor and it's also colder and it was like misty now, basically.

So bare weather. We scored a touchdown on our first drive and then just the defense stood up and didn't allow anything after that. So shout out us. We're Bishop Stingley III. Shout out our team. the defense stood up and and didn't allow anything after that so shout out us the uh we're bishop stingley the third shout out our team flag football being six zero is tough in real life if like in tackle football six zero spun sometimes flag football i feel like it's just everyone drops

the pass every play yeah i mean were there like 45 different sacks no i mean it's you because it was so windy out like the wind was blown it was probably like 20 mile an hour wind gusts like it was it was a lot okay so it was basically like the quarterback would drop back and then realize he couldn't throw it downfield without the wind just taking it the opposite direction that would run for 10 yards each time so it's basically if you could get to the quarterback and pull his flag before they reach the first down got Gotcha. So, hey. Flag football. It's incredible.

6-0. Or 6-6-6-6. We're going to be 6-0. We won 6-0. I'm sorry. I'm a little concussed. I also hit my head on someone's knee. So I'm a concussion protocol like Tua.

Bro, if your hands are the thing Tua's did, you need to not play flag football again. It's spooky season. He was doing skeleton hands. He really was, dude. He was on the ground and his teammate was making sure he was okay. He realized he was kind of knocked out. And then the teammate saw his hands and then you could see on his face he freaked out.

It was bad. Really bad. Alright, Corey. What's the loot box update oh that's right I paid you Corey I mean I guess I guess I could do it live

because I haven't we need to we need to track any interest yeah alright give me a sec let me see if I can find this

I hope it says like where it's at and it just doesn't say like has it been shipped yet like did everyone else pay Brian did Brian and Rooks pay I Rooks did not pay but that is not a surprise yet And it just doesn't say, like, has it been shipped yet? Did everyone else pay? Did Brian and Rooks pay?

Rooks did not pay, but that is not a surprise yet. I don't think Rooks knew he needed to. I think it was a thing I surprised everyone with. I paid right away without even really understanding any context. If Brian just texts me, hey, mystery box, you owe Corey $11. Instantly, boom, just sent it. I was so proud of you. Rooks is not on board with this idea at all. You seemed right away on board.

The plan is we're going to get it. Corey will open it live, and we're going to draft pick each item that we get in there. So since Corey has to deliver and get his first dibs. I listen to the podcast, brother. What do you think I don't listen? What was... You say you don't listen all the time.

You guys rail on Jim Thorpe last week. That's true. Native American hero that they gave all of his awards back to finally everybody everybody pause because now i'm like is it here there's no way it is i don't think it don't get your hopes up i don't think it is check the door check the door this is wait is jim thorpe a native american yeah he apparently got there was like a recent thing he that's why i find it funny you guys brought him up because he was recently in the news because I think he had like in college, he had a bunch of his records taken away or something because he was also a profession.

It was weird. And so they finally reinstated a bunch of his records recently. And he's apparently like one of the greatest athletes to ever live. I mean, I just assumed he was a random like white guy from pittsburgh who like worked the coal mines and the steel mills he's his name's jim i mean and and on in the day after indigenous people's day brian yeah he's a member of the uh i didn't know he's a member of the uh this the this sack or sock and fox nation he's the first native american to win a gold medal sock nation I didn't know. He's a member of the SAC or SOC in Fox Nation. He's the first Native American to win a gold medal.

That's SOC Nation. It's not big. Oh, dear. I paid $11 for that size? But I don't know. So this also might not be it. It's open bars. I've got like four people that share an Amazon account,

and it said it was delivered here, but it also could have been something Claire ordered. It doesn't say that it's like a box. Yeah, we have between two and three and two and eight items. We don't really know the range. I don't know what is supposed to be here. I was expecting this to be on a pallet of some sort. That's what I thought it be on like a palette of some sort like yeah but that's what i thought

it would be like a box like with two items in it like i don't know maybe that's why it was such a big range because it's it's just they send things individually i don't know of like time because it said like 12 to something you just slowly get up to eight items in the mail that might be more fun yeah this says mystery box but like oh what i'm i'm gonna be more confused at what is show the camera well i don't even it says says it's a demon box demon box and then it has a gift card it's a 40 gift card did we just buy money wait we lost money because wasn't it like 50 bucks hold on hold on but that's the thing i think there's other things i i maybe there's other things coming i don't know but it but it's a $40 gift card to Amazon.

Wait, to Amazon or to Demon Box? We just lost $4. Whatever the hell Demon Box is. Looking up Demon Box. I don't think we got the right end of this deal. All we did was lose four boxes. I mean, so far, no, but we don't know if that was it. I mean, it said two to something amount of items right

is there like a piece of paper in this box like oh it's a yeah i'm reading something i'm reading this demon there's zach is demon box like a subscription you know you just buy another box yeah yeah that's what it seems like wait so we just got the gift card to buy the box off of a website pretty much at this point? Yeah, we just got box Ponzi scheme, I feel like. It says Demon Box Online Mystery Boxes. All right. Let's order our box. We already put the money in.

I mean, yeah, but why didn't we just go here in the first place? I don't know. I didn't realize that's how this works. Zach, what are our options on Demon Box? Dude, there are too many boxes out here. One that's $40. You have like, I mean, there's the Win an iPhone Pro. There's a Trick or Treat box.

A Happy Howlween. Do you think it's like a dog box? We only have one dog between the four of us, so I don't think we do the dog one. There's a Pokemon Adventure. There's a Funko. How many shoes do you think you could in the shoes um box for 40 bucks a yeezy box a yeezy box a stranger things box a rolex box i want i want the one with the

most items nba box so we can draft them i don't think that's how that works i think you just i was gonna be shocked if this didn't end in a Ponzi scheme. It was like 85% of me is like, this isn't real, right? The Ponzi scheme is we lost $4, but I think we still are getting $40 worth of something. We lost $4 with the potential to maybe still win more? To gain a lot more? Apparently the best drop in this Pokemon box for $45 was this thing worth $11,600.

I mean, that seems worth it. Someone say a sentence that ends in Wednesday and I'll get us going. Well, Wednesday. It is Wednesday, my dear. Wednesday and I'll get us going. Well, Wednesday. It is Wednesday, my dude. My nipples are hard now. Number one, remove your bra.

I like nuts. This is my butt. I'm ready to go. Golf is a sexy thing. My dick will go like, boop, and just flip inside out and it'll turn into a vagina. And you take me. Hi, boys. And of course, Pennsylvania. You leave the butter in the crack. Why is my spaghetti fizzy? I want to kiss you on? Hi, boys. Intercourse, Pennsylvania. You leave the butter in the crack.

Why is my spaghetti fizzy? I want to kiss you on the mouth, baby. God damn, he's so good. Yeah, he calls me big time. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah.

Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah.

Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah. Makes me dookie. If you just wanted to slurp something and then spit it back out. And then I swallow. I want to die.

Raw dog and lower. A kid's turkey based on nipples. He just got slopped. The rock's dick has anchor arms. I think I gotta get out of here. Where did you get the paint from? I don't fucking... Great question!

Who has vertical butt cheeks? To the death. No, I'm fucking down! I'm fucking with this fucking guy, man! It is Wednesday, my dudes. Welcome back to another episode of This Wednesday, My Dudes, episode 81. Rooks is out with a crab-related... crab-milk-related illness, but Zach's back. What's up, everybody? I went to the doctor today.

Boy or girl? How much longer? No, I was like, for the annual, I've been to the doctor in like five years, so I felt like it was time for kind of like a physical checkup. So he did the whole heart monitor thing. He found out that I was 220 pounds of real steel and sex appeal. I eat three whole meals and make your mom get in her feels. So, yeah, that was his words.

And, yeah, it turned out to be a pretty cool doctor. Yeah. So I'm happy to be back. Rhymes the cool doctor um yeah so i'm happy to be back rhymes the whole time yeah i'm happy to be back it's been a long time yeah um it's been a while it's been like four weeks probably four or five weeks so happy to be back with the boys get some get some respect to the indigenous people on the podcast after you guys torched jim thorpe last week i did not appreciate i don't think any of us knew he was indigenous. His name's Jim. You know?

Like, I don't know of any famous Native Americans named, like, Jim Blackfeather. I don't think that's a first name they used. Corey's here. I mean, Google search. I have no comment. All right, back to Zach. So so did he ask about your eating habits uh he did he said are you eating healthy and i said during the week and you did not elaborate i eat well i eat i i i said yeah he's like well as long as you're like eating fruits and vegetables he basically talked to me like I was a third grader, which I kind of appreciated.

He's like, yeah, as long as you're eating your fruits and vegetables. Fruits, snacks, and vegetables. I'm like, all right, great, thanks, Doc. Yes. Yeah, fruits, yeah. I mumbled that under. I was like, oh, good, fruits, snacks, and vegetables. Like, yeah.

Uh-huh. Well. I did realize, though, I got kind of beefy over the summer. I know it's like a personality season we're coming into. You know, feral girl fall is right here. Feral guy fall, whatever. We're trying to beef up. Yeah, feral girl fall, feral guy fall.

But, man, I need to lose some LBs or just really embrace the dirty bulk. So we're going to decide what I'm going to do over the winter. That's the new goal. Dirty bulk. You put on a lot of muscle and then take a full year slow cut. And then you stay at that for the rest of your life. I like that you said it seemed like you were surprised that you maybe had a few pounds i want brian to just clip and and mix together every single food that you've eaten over the like summer because i bet you could just go to your update every day and it would be disturbing yeah i mean what but like the thing is i haven't i've eaten

like that for that's true i've lived alone and been, you know, that's been like six years. So I think it just might be my metabolism finally catching up to me, which would suck, which means I'm getting older. Which means I probably can't be binging as much food as I do on the weekends. But hey, it's all part of growing up. Yeah. But anyway, yeah, that was my day today. So happy to be back.

Thanks for having me back, boys. Pleasure to see you. Be a beautiful person back boys yeah okay um that's your whole month you're gonna give us update on the doctors the doctors update today oh no i didn't know yeah what else yeah um yeah the doctors update today what else have i done i went to iu this past weekend go hoosiers just lived at a bar didn't really want to go to the game against michigan glad i didn't because they lost um so that was fun um what else have i been doing my mom came in helped me decorate my apartment that was a lot of fun that sounded so sarcastic the best um no man she's the she's it's not if it sorry, mom and all the moms who listen. No disrespect to moms. I love moms. I'm trying to think of what else I've done.

Just a lot of college football. Man, I just enjoy being in the fall, man. Just slapping a hoodie on, pulling the drawstrings around your head so you look a little bit like a mole. Sometimes you just got to kind of peek out through that little sweatshirt hole and walking around. Just buying Poke Bowls from Mariano's, buying two at at a time eating those on a friday catching up on some shows um you know blue cheese and chicken fingers and just kind of yeah i can see why i'm kind of

talking through yeah yeah so we're gonna stop that um i'm gonna go back to eating chicken and sweet potatoes um but no man i did think of this one analogy that i was thought that that was really good you guys remember dial-up internet right you couldn't use the phone while you were on the computer same exact thing as when you flush the toilet while you're taking a shower and the water gets really hot or cold like both of them don't function correctly when you do another thing they're tied together your plumbing and your internet so i thought of that analogy um i thought it was pretty good what's the analogy for the one analogy is for the other okay got it correct so we like to call it i feel like it didn't relate but but i don't think it needs to honestly so

the choice is between you can either poop or you can use the internet you can't do both at the same time dial poop internet correct correct so i so i might have and i the problem i mean the nice thing is i haven't had to really deal with the uh the water getting cold or warm you know because i don't live with anybody so i did try yesterday before i took a shower i flushed the toilet and then i ran into the shower and see if the temperature change minimal change i think my problem is actually kind of updating this apartment like i don't think that's soup okay yeah that's what i mean that's why it's like dial up it's an old thing that doesn't really happen i'm back big analogy guys zach you keep that every week we need more analogies from you we'll keep a list but i'll exactly i'm gonna look through my pictures and see what i missed feel free to continue on your month no of his plumbing so yeah all right what else do we think he did this month

over under four boxes of oreos oh over i will actually it is the best time for oreos i think it's either the red oreos or the orange ones. Correct. But orange ones, then red, I would say. The orange ones are goaded. Yeah. It goes orange, red, then double stuffed. Then golden.

Are you talking like the spring one? Then regular. Are you talking like golden, like vanilla? Yeah. No, no, no, like golden. Okay. I'm okay with this one. Yeah, it's vanilla.

Put thins at the very bottom. Oh, my God. Throw them in the trash. There we go. Thins don't even make it. Yeah, thins don't even make it. That's just a cookie. I think Oreo, like, I love, I'm a big fan of, like, variations and, you know, switching it up.

You know, Oreosos trying to figure out i don't think there's been one solid oreo variation that i've been like this is going to replace the halloween oreo or the original oreo like i feel like they're just kind of just trying to throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks it's probably a great marketing ploy because everyone's like i'm gonna try the fucking uh you know sriracha oreos and then everyone's like oh this is terrible but like listen they got your box did i was gonna say you're the sucker they do a mystery box of the oreos and then they'd probably make more money you never know what you're gonna get you open the box of oreos and they're just a gift card inside with four oreos in there

i mean all right i'm gonna get a lot of flack for brian for obvious reasons but i actually don't mind the mint oreo when i'm in the mood randomly i mean i'm not i'm not surprised that i know to have a bad choice on food but well you do you all right how do you rate your month um i'm going to rate it um one vial of blood drawn today at the doctors because they're going to test me for high cholesterol which i'm a little scared i have because of all the stuff i eat but we'll see and and the four eggs i eat every day so dietary cholesterol is not the same as blood cholesterol so eggs are fine it's probably the the lady did say yeah no no i was gonna say the lady did say i had uh i had good veins when she was taking my blood which i feel like is always a sneaky stop hitting on me so i was very appreciative she'd be like it's from all

the drugs that i do and just see what her reaction is all right core how's your month month. Joke on her. I take them all up the butt. How was my week? Clip that. Yeah. Okay. I thought you said, how was your month? And I was like, wait a minute. Oh, sorry. You were here last week. Sorry. Yeah. I was. I was. I bought a box, a mystery box even. No. So our weekend was good. We, Friday I didn't have work because they did a golf outing which was fun so we did like a best ball scramble and i went with a team of people that i didn't really know i knew one of them from like four years ago that i haven't talked to but i was like a little nervous about my golf game because it's like at work and you don't want to you don't want to look like an idiot especially when you work at a sporting goods store that sells golf items.

So I was a little concerned about the style of play and like how it was going to be done. But it was nice because it was like it was just we all break up and like you only go golfing with the three other people you're with. And we had one person who was a ringer. She's like played like in college she was so good we used every single one of her shots for the first eight holes um so there was literally no use of any one of us being there until hole nine and then um she ended up winning the the longest drive for the women's division, which she outdrove the men's once we got to the hole. So it was like, yeah, no shit, she won.

But it was nice. How old was she? She's our age. She's 28, 29, something like that. I was picturing like a 75-year-old Asian lady that just like has a wicked swing. Dude, the worst. Dude, I'm, again, pro women.

Shout out to all the moms and grandmas out there the absolute worst golfers to get stuck behind when you're on the course man is the two old women who are walking the course bro and i'm just like what are we doing and you don't want to like pester them and but when a foursome can play faster than a twosome you know something's wrong so honestly great outfits though you're like cool sun. Sick hats. No, I will. I will continue. Feel free to continue. So, yeah, that was fun. It was six beers per person, but they didn't count. They just had beer carts, and people volunteered to drive them around. It was basically just everybody was – everything was run by Dick's employees, so people that

you work with that I know. So I wasn't concerned about drinking too much because it was like co-workers not like our director or managers running them like at one time they came around and i was like i was like three in but i had one like not cracked yet and they were like you guys wanted me i was like no like i didn't even crack this one yet they're like guys it's free come on let's go and so we just like grabbed like four more. But it was nice. They did a door prize. I won one of the door prizes. So you have all your like pick.

And so I picked a golf bag. It's a women's golf bag for Claire. So that way I have an excuse to get myself brand new clubs and she can have my old one. There it is. And that way it's kind of a gift, but also a gift to her and also to me. And then chilled Friday night. Didn't do much. We just we watched the new there's a new movie on Netflix with Mila Kunis. That was graphic, but pretty good.

Luckiest girl alive, I think. Like boobs graphic or like gore graphic? Uh, like sexual assault graphic. So kind of boobs, but like in a, in poor taste. Yeah. Not fun boobs. But not good boobs. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Less than sad boobs. Yeah. Um, sad boobs. Yeah. So. Upside down. Frowny face. Uh huh. Yeah. Maybe a little tear. Yeah. Rolling,. Upside down. Frowny face.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Maybe a little tear. Yeah. Rolling down. A little milk. Rolling down the crab leg. Rolling down the boobs.

Going to hold that one in. And then Saturday, I just kind of like did a whole bunch of housework I wanted to do Claire actually went and did go for her dress shopping which she found one and I keep trying to like get her to like trip up and show it to me I won't look but I keep trying every single time she goes to like show somebody

her dress like one of her friends or family members they're like oh like how'd it go on Saturday and for the last three days I've been next to her while she's doing this and i'm like oh yeah can i see and there's been like a couple times where she's just like started to i'm like no don't and she's like wait what uh it's great i hope she shows up in a full suit of armor i mean sure yeah i want to engrave the wedding bands with the with elvish so it's only right you are are you actually i want to and she said she doesn't care so we'll see hell yeah um i haven't

decided if i'm going to but i think i want to anyway um then we went out with the big hole guys saturday night uh they're they're like they definitely are the only people i know that religiously listen besides amanda i guess because uh denise fair fair i guess i guess outside of like our college friend group that like i've told like hey we're doing this. They love it. So shout out you guys. We went out to dinner and went out to the plan was go out to dinner down in Station Square. Then we went to Dave and Buster's, baby. Dave and Boston. Oh, yeah.

And so the big event at dinner was Claire had her wallet stolen out of her purse, which is like it was weird. So we were at dinner was uh claire had her wallet stolen out of her purse which is like it was weird so we were at dinner at david busters no no no we went at dinner which like you would think david busters maybe because like there's tokens beat up a child flowing around yeah um and so we were like started walking back to the car and claire's like i don't have my wallet i was like well like she's left her wallet at my house before or something i was like like did you bring it she's like yeah because i always check to make sure i can bring my id so i can drink because that's number one importance makes sense and so she was like i know i knew i had it at the place so we started to like walk back towards the restaurant this is when we were

walking back to the car we like paused and we were going to meet Dan and Jill at Dave and Buster's after dinner. She gets a text and it was citizens saying, did you just spend $2,000? We were like, well, it's stolen. Whether or not she

fell out of her purse. They say where? We found out it was at cvs and then they tried two thousand dollars at cvs they were trying to get gift cards thousand dollars oh so that's because that's what we said that's what we said how does the register person i'd be like no yeah i don't i don't know yeah man this is a cvs um no so like do you do you think there are gift cards the demon box yeah probably probably it was they probably bought two thousand dollars worth of mystery boxes that are just gift cards is actually what it was um but so yeah we well we figured so i

called the restaurant i was like hey this happened like can you guys pull tapes or anything and like we i don't know what they would do which which still like maybe like they could have a picture of the people and make sure it wasn't. The guy made a point. He was like, if this was one of my employees, I wanted to make sure like they're not going to do it again. Like, it'll be hard because I doubt they're going to come back in if they're patrons or whatever. Anyway, it was this, these two guys that were sitting behind us. They had scrubs on like jill noticed this but then we didn't like talk about it till after the fact because it was

like why she was like the only thing she said was wow they got they had like they ate really quick like when we were at dinner she mentioned that and it was like okay and then we were talking about it later after the loss so and when she was like i bet they took it because like they came in after us they ate really quick they left they were in scrubs and had, this is the kicker, they had, like, a stethoscope, she said. And we were all like, what doctor has a stethoscope out? Like, that's not sanitary. Like, just out at dinner. Yeah.

They definitely went to Party City. They definitely went to Party City. It's a nice restaurant just downtown. Like, it wasn't, like, it wasn't sketchy because it's like why are you we weren't looking at out for any of that until it's like well the wallet's gone and it's definitely stolen but like why does that disguise even help at all like your face isn't covered like i don't know it's so stupid so it was so it's her purse yeah her purse is on her like chair on the back and so she

even reached in and grabbed her phone at one point too like and like put it back are they still there no at that point i don't know i don't think so i don't know like it's i can't remember because we were like thinking about the timeline after but we know it was them because cv today cvs like called and they were like what time you know did you come to the place in between? Because we didn't know the timeline of everything. And they were like, Claire was like, out of curiosity, was anyone in scrubs? Did you see anyone suspicious? Yeah. And they literally pulled the tape.

They were like, oh, yeah, it was these guys. They see what they're purchasing and they're in scrubs. And so I called back the restaurant because they called me back Sunday and was like, we didn't really see anything like out of the ordinary. So it was definitely those guys at the table and they like reached back. So it wouldn't have been really like evident on cameras or anything. Yeah. Yeah. But like, yeah, two guys in scrubs and they saw him in CVS.

We're like, OK, we saw him at the restaurant. And when I said it to the guy on the phone at the restaurant today, he was like was like yeah like i could see them on the camera nutty okay so ridiculous so uh do you have those tapes should we post them online and then also get a crowdfunded batman to go out there hawk down the two guys beat them up and then we put them in a box send them to a mystery location and then they just give out the gift cards they tried to buy no the mystery box is we're shipping them into the middle of nowhere so do they oh no no no they actually didn't get anything out of it which is so like asinine to me because it's like if you have the gall to do that then wouldn't you think you'd be like okay like we got away with this like let's buy a

dinner like let's buy not two thousand dollars worth of something because it'll be flagged immediately like that's so ridiculous no because you well i would i wouldn't buy gift cards like i would have bought just like a nice i'd buy like a big electronic purchase or something like that like but you get to be close to a best right? Because you figure the first thing you do is probably cancel the credit card. And then so they only have basically like 20 or 25 minutes to do something with it before they – We didn't know that because like I – my immediate thought and maybe like – I don't know. Maybe I should have thought. It's like it was stolen.

My immediate thought and Claire's immediate thought is like, oh, like did it fall out? Did we leave it back at the house? it in the car like it wasn't immediately like it's stolen so then they could have gotten away with a few charges if they didn't because the only reason we didn't even make it back into the restaurant to talk to them was we saw the alert that said like someone tried to spend two thousand dollars was this you claire hit no and then we went in and canceled all of our cards that were in there. And like they didn't get anything out of it except now Claire has to get a new driver's license and like go through this shit.

But like. I hope they also had fake mustaches on the entire time. This guy looks suspicious. I really hope they did that. What a suspicious looking doctor. The stethoscope. the stethoscope that you know that you mentioned it it's hilarious like thinking about it again it's like they definitely thought like all right like we gotta get scrubs like what do doctors wear like

stethoscopes i'm surprised they have like their own patient next to their table yeah some fake blood yeah the thing is it's smart to have scrubs in pittsburgh because there's a lot of nurses and doctors so you kind of blend in but it doesn't hide who you are yourself no yeah like you could just bought any clothes and then got rid of them later yeah um yeah but i feel like i feel like at that, I mean, again, terrible thing, but I don't think the Pittsburgh PD is on the hunt for the restaurant nappers. I think they can probably get away with not covering their face. If we give them a cool name, it might catch traction,

and we can get it on the local news. What's the name of the restaurant, Corey? The Honey Potters. I kind of like. Dipping in that honey pot. And then Sunday I hang out with Jamie because she's in town. So that's my weekend.

And I will give it one felony. Oh, I thought you were going to give it negative $2,000. Is that a felony? I don't know. Is it a misdemeanor? It depends on the cost. Well, you just...

It sounded good, so I wanted to say it. So, like, it's definitely not a felony, but let's not bring up the semantics. No, and it's... So, it's like, it's a misdemeanor if you steal, like, $50 worth of stuff or something. But if it's someone's wallet and you try to steal 2000. One one misses demeanor.

Oh, yeah, that's pretty good. Claire's not going to be happy. Tell her about your side chick. The mystery chick. Oh, she's also chopped up in a box you can buy her for 40 is that the next all right it's a demon next it makes sense the next we just order we order the jeffrey dahmer box uh brian how was your weekend oh there's less dead bodies um so i got the covid shot on two wednesday tuesday i think that was this week oh i was dead for a day i'll play the music did you get on wednesday or tuesday

i was like i was like what music we have for when someone dies do we have funeral music what is like, what music do we have for when someone dies? Do we have funeral music? What is it, like game show music? Brian just died! It's actually pretty good. All right. So everyone should get the shot, but take the day off work next day because it feels miserable. I went to the Pop culture museum in Seattle.

The dude taking like the tickets at the front was dressed as Barnacle Boy from SpongeBob, which one was a dope costume. But two, do you think they made him dress up as Barnacle Boy for his job? Because if so, he needs to quit his job immediately. Where did you go? The pop culture museum? No, that's a. Is that. Is that really like still pop culture are they still are they still going strong in in spongebob i don't think no i think it's i think they uh yeah i think they actually might be i know one of the actors

like either retired or died i think mr crabs. Krabs died. Not the actual Mr. Krabs. The cartoon is still going strong. Shockingly so. And fries will be fries. I think so. R.I.P. Mr. Krabs. That sucks. That's going to bring me down a bit.

Either way, that guy should quit his job. That museum was kind of cool though. They had Dave Grohl, Dragon Ball Z z and video games all in one place come on heaven it's like you're heaven i know it's better than like rocks and fish like most museums are so you know recommend uh went on a hike near mount rainier you can't really go up mount oh um sorry i uh i preemptively killed the guy who voices mr kraft very much alive that's You can't really go up. Sorry. I preemptively killed the guy who voices Mr. Krabs. He's very much alive. Here we go.

Plus one life point. I don't know. I'm going to look up Spongebob death in six seconds. oh i mean the guy who created it died maybe that's who i was but he was also kind of a scumbag what the who is the creator all right anyway uh yeah uh steven hillenburg or whatever yeah maybe he wasn't canceled hold on i'm gonna it's uncanceled and then i can't i'm just excited i got my noises back play all these guys it's a really good play by play going on we got i'm on a roller coaster over here apparently everyone's dead then they're back they're

canceled they're not like oh i should be writing a show like more dramatic than game of thrones just people dying coming back you know yeah i mean do you want some like interlude music that's kind of fitting i will no i mean he had als which is sad um getting paralyzed for most of his life it is the creator of spongebob yeah no i think he's not canceled. I think I canceled him too early. All of your information is very suspect. All right, who else?

Is Sandy Cheeks a Nazi? We're going to throw that one out there? No, she's just from Texas. All right. no he's just she's just from texas he's just from texas all right we'll let zach i guess confirm his outlandish suspicions about spongebob and brian you can continue with your update okay all right went on a hike uh not up mount rainier but near it because it's like apparently takes like three days to actually get to the top of mount rainier and there's like snow and like you need to like be like indiana jones and throw some ropes and stuff so didn't do that but got some

cool views uh so you know trees out here pretty nice so highly recommend if you ever are out here go to told me lookout something like that pretty dope uh on the ride back one of the people I was with is like really into astrology. Apparently, you can find out what type of bender from Avatar you are based on your star signs and stuff. I'm in. I'm an airbender, baby. I'm happy about that. I can stick with it.

What's this website? Is this a website? I don't know. You got to talk to this girl. She likes the sun and the moon and stuff. She's an actor. I don't know. She's a very, very interesting human being.

I'm looking up sun and moon actor astrology airbending and I'm getting nothing. Oh, give me the first result. Click on it real quick. Actor astrology airbender. Avatar the last

airbender. Hey! that actually might have been exactly what i needed you thought you were going nowhere with that oh this is giving you a person though that you are not like what bender i mean which i would also work capricorn. I'm a Kyoshi warrior. Oh, so you can't even bend anything. Just put face paint on. I'm Suki, baby. Alright. I'm pretty sick.

Hold on, what am I? Oh, I'm also an airbender. I want to be a bender. On the drive up to the hike, too there's like been a bunch of forest fires so like the drive up there's one stretch of road that's just like covered in ash so it looked like you just put like a black and white filter on everything it's kind of crazy but also like felt like we might die in a forest fire if it like came back so that was not good um and then ended the day with uh we had such a long car ride and apparently lauren had like five good luck things happened to her in the last

week that was like we should buy a lottery ticket and then like the next 30 minutes i was like we should buy a lottery ticket next time they brought up her good luck thing we bought a lottery ticket so tonight's the drawing so i'm not gonna talk to you guys again i'm gonna be a billionaire i know we're splitting 300 million dollars four ways i'm gonna be a 40 millionaire but i'll quit my job i'll still talk to you guys it'll be fine you'll have a lot of time to produce podcasts and airbags and kill off all of the spongebob creators yeah so i rate my week uh r yeah he's fine he's fine yeah he's like yeah he's he's okay i mean not like physically like he's in the ground but like but societally he didn't do anything he like he's not okay because he's dead the good news is

i'm an earthbender so maybe i can raise him out of the ground. That's true. And then I can throw his body through the air. RIP Mr. Krabs. Get that out there. To come back to last week, unless we still want to do Mr. Krabs news. You aren't Spongebob pop culture updates. Mr. Krabs rumors. Let's not call this news. Dubois has an update on mr craps him and ned fulmer have been both

cheating on their wives with each other uh last week we had the question of whether the rock was hot or not oh yeah yeah zach what's yes or no do you don't do you really no but this can we put it like i was i'm thinking like do females think the rock is hot my assumption was no but i don't know yes because what do you think no i don't he's just like a i think my immediate thought was he's like that guy who just looks like a boulder, which, yeah, rock. And he's just like the crazy meathead at the gym. It's not a boulder. He's just like that crazy meathead at the gym, which I feel like guys are like, oh, how'd you get these muscles? That's sick, man.

But girls aren't like big into the meathead. Like. Yeah, but that's, like. Yeah. He's got, like, a niche market. But in general, if you just ask them if he was hot or not, I feel like they'd say, sure. Not, like, would you date him? Because, yeah, he would just, like, destroy any human.

I just, I feel like if you're saying sure, then they're not. Like, you gotta be like, yeah, they're hot destroy any human I just I feel like you're saying sure then they're not like you got to be like yeah they're hot you know because I agree I think I think they'd be like I think they'd be more confused why you're asking them and they'd be like sure like just to be like okay let's what let's cold call some people

we each get one person and we're gonna see who's right so choose carefully i need to think of somebody who i think thinks the rock is hot so you have five minutes i've got the part today do we have to know that we can contact them and they'll pick up and do this? Yeah, yeah. Okay. I'm going to call them. I would assume we would want a female. So it's really limiting.

Yes. Eliminating our choices here because there's only like three that have done the calling. I want to call Jesse. That's going to be my pick. Okay. I called Denise. That'll be my pick. We'll text called Denise. That'll be my pick. We'll text her and ask her if she can be called real quick.

Okay. I see. This is why I thought we were just cold calling. I'll text people. I'll text everybody. No, just say, can we call you for the podcast? No, I'm going to text everybody. I'm going to text everybody.

But say, can we call you for the podcast? Don't tell her why. Got it. And I'm changing my first person I'm asking. Zach, do you know someone? Are we going to call your mom? That would be a good pick. Your sister?

Corey's sister? Let's call Corey's sister. Sure. Yeah. Yeah? She's going to be really confused because I don't think she knows that we have the technology to do this. But, yeah. Alright, we'll see who responds first and we can... We'll give them like two or three minutes and then we can move on.

Are you going to text Karina or should I? Oh, I can text Karina. I texted Steph. Oh, that's a good pick. For me, there's no way she's going to say yes. Steph likes big guys. Oh, wait. She said sure. Let's go. Who? Steph said, okay. Okay. What's, uh, okay. I need to not say the phone number out loud like i always do uh eight six seven five three oh nine we could not complete your call please try again oh yeah i typed that in wrong

um do you think there's a larger disparity of male to female than a harry styles concert like you think the ratio is the strongest in a harry styles concert anywhere like anywhere else in life like literally anywhere else women's bathroom like a women's bathroom bad bathroom beyond victoria's secret i don't know man i kind of like that bath and beyond victoria's secret there's definitely guys and they're shopping guys with their wives or wives hello stephanie hello hello i have a question for you this is cory um not uh no we could we could ask many other questions that you should be worried about, but this one you're good.

The Rock, the actor, The Rock, Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Is he attractive, yes or no? I love one. Yes. I'm going to say yes. God damn it. I knew it. Okay, okay.

Thank you, Steph. Why? Please explain yourself. Yeah. Why is my question to you? Well, one, he's really tall and muscular. Oh my God. And he has good teeth. All right.

Okay. Okay. And you could probably convert him to Judaism, right? You know, probably. okay okay and you could probably convert him to judaism right uh you know probably yeah yeah you go that's convincing i'll say man if the rock knew all it took was to be tall and have good teeth he'd probably stop working out as much as he does well steph you did not help me but you helped prove other people's points i appreciate it i love you goodbye what'd you say what'd you say i take it back all right perfect she took it back okay uh so one for me zero for you guys man what that did not go my way i she likes big guys i told you that gotta have something to push her around come on all right

next caller hello jesse real quick question for you yeah uh-huh is the rock dwayne the rock johnson is he hot yes or no oh my god yes very fucking fucking thank you i knew she was gonna say it apparently cory and zach don't think he is, but they need you to explain yourself why. Is it because he's tall, has nice teeth, and could be Jewish? Oh, I didn't even know that about that he could be Jewish. That's an extra point. See? But it's like

it's the huge muscles. He's very tan. Oh yeah. Jordan asked if I'm talking about him he looks he looks exactly like jordan yeah they look very alike and it's like if you watch like interviews with him like he's so nice exactly you know everyone else on this podcast just bad taste i appreciate it thank you you earned you earned me a point perfect all right thank you jesse bye yeah

two for two the rock's a fake on his instagram the rock's a fake on his instagram though he posts meals of him eating like 80 000 calories of like pancakes and french toast and sushi and then he actually doesn't eat all that he definitely actually does The dudes like 400 pounds just eat so much in a day Well, he took the camera. I don't think he wants everyone to just stare at him chewing food the whole time He's got nice teeth, but they're not that nice Alright Zack who's your caller oh I haven't texted anybody we can call whoever we want

we can call Karina oh here actually I'll text Karina if you're gonna do that should I try my mom yeah absolutely you asked that like we would say no what but dying to get your mom in the podcast for a long time we never did our mother's day episode you're gonna have to also text brian her number

you probably don't want to say it and then you also have to say hi mommy well I'm calling her okay she's a little bit faster just for me to ask her to get through they call my dad yeah sure um okay actually let me try my sister i'll try my sister better better hello hey maddie what's up what's going on all right you're you're on with cory and brian right now we have a question that we have been you're the third person that we've asked this question third female so we need uh we need some of advice opinion advice on this question. I'm ready. So you ready? Okay. Dwayne, The Rock,

Johnson, the wrestler, the actor, the energy drink maker, is he hot? And if so, and if not, why?

No. Yes. But now that he's a dad, he has like hot dad vibes. Okay. I feel like him being a dad brought him to a different level. But no. That's a respectable answer to a different level. But no.

That's a respectable answer. So no, but yes, but no. Was no, now kind of. We'll go with that. How do you feel about his teeth? Honestly, I've never looked at them

that closely. I'm going to count that as not great then. Yeah. They're not great then. Yeah. They're not noticeable enough. All right, cool. Thank you. I also agreed he was not hot. So siblings ride or die together.

So I appreciate that. All right. Thanks, Maddie. Bye. So two, one and one. Does she count as a loss and a tie? Because she said sort of. But no?

I don't think... I think you need to post the poll online and see what people have to say about it. I think that's the only way. If it comes back and it's like 98% think yes, then yeah. This is not a hill I'm willing to die on.

I mean, a poll of three people, I think that's enough. I think we could call it. I'll take the win. It's fine. I mean, this is a lot like my Oprah question. Binarily yes or no, I think more people are going to say The Rock is hot or not. My Oprah question is, would you have sex with Oprah? The answer is obviously yes.

But there are reasons like yes or no like there's nuance to the conversation which i think we can't get out of a poll why are you having sex with oprah why aren't you yeah why aren't you you wouldn't i mean if she does her voice the whole time i might be into it yeah okay good good dude i'm probably getting i'm probably looking underneath the bed and there's gonna be a free car flipping her over back and forth there's free stuff that's mystery box oh oprah was the inventor guys full circle it's all there we're gonna maybe cut up oprah into a box ship her out to Demon Box. She's going to pop up, but she's all disembodied parts, and they're going to take over.

And then we get our $4 back. Like a transformer. Mm-hmm. Isn't Oprah like 60? I mean, she's got, she is. She is. I would say 65. This is my guess. I don't know. But random fun fact, she went to the same elementary school as my dad.

Not at the same time, which is why my immediate immediate reaction was, oh, I should know her age. And then I remembered they didn't go there at the same time. She is 68. So close. Was at the school your dad went to in state college or somewhere else elementary school uh no in uh nashville sorry okay um since when did you love oprah i feel like this is news to me yeah i feel like everyone should we call back the same three people like all right thoughts second question would you have it's not is oprah hot it's would you have sex with oprah i think that's a yes the answer is yes all right i think we can dig into that one next week

yeah i think that's the next one that's a whole other can of worms i'll figure out what the hell we're gonna get with our second mystery box i mean and i'm gonna go watch some more spongebob to see uh who is i mean if we got a third mystery box out of the demon boxing i'll be really excited and if zach was wrong again on his info, it'd be great. See you. Outro Music