It’s Wednesday My Dudes - Ep. 84: another trapdoor

Episode Date: November 9, 2022

Cory haaaaaaaaaates bone-in wings, Zak wants to RKO line cutters, Ruxx despises social media, and Bryan stares at dudes nails too much. Rate us 5 stars on Spotify! and leave a review and rate on Apple Podcasts! Links here to follow on social media! and find other places to listen!

And here we go. I saw, I don't know if it was a TikTok or a Instagram post. Do you ever think it's weird that if you're in the pool with the fellas, you guys are just hanging out drinking. And let's say Corey, for example, turns to us and says, hey guys, I just peed in the pool. And you're going to probably look at him and be like, oh man, Corey, like, come on, dude. Like, what are you doing? But like, you're probably staying in the pool and you're gonna probably look at him you're like oh man cory like come on dude like what are you doing but like you're probably staying in the pool right like you're just like whatever guys be dudes but if you were to get out of the pool and then turn

into the water and pee in to the pool everyone would jump out and say like what dude what the fuck are you doing and you wouldn't and you wouldn't talk to him anymore. That is always my example for Rooks, and he says there's not an issue with it. Right. My thing is, I don't give a shit about piss in the pool. I've said it on this podcast before. I pee in the pool. I don't care.

Apologies to everyone who's been in a pool with me. My thing is, if you pee in the pool while we're in the pool, whatever, if someone is committing the act of whipping their dick out outside the pool and just peeing into it like it's a toilet. Now it's a whole principle thing. You know what I mean? Now it's like, what's wrong with you, man? Who hurt you? You gave you gave an example once that you said you would just stand at the edge and just pee.

You wouldn't whip your dick out, but you would just pee and it would just kind of like flow down your leg into the pool. No, I didn't say that. I did not say that. Yeah, you did. No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. Why wouldn't I just get in the pool and pee like I always do? Because that, maybe I said that as an example,

and you said it would still be fine i don't know i don't want that direction but i would always i would before anything before doing anything i would hop in the pool and pee no matter what so i've like sort of watched bachelor in paradise this season sort of haven't they had one other chick that cries all the time from a couple seasons ago. She doesn't go in the water to pee. She goes and sits by

the waves on the ground and pees. Then we'll stand up and walk back away. Now we're just making this process harder. Sometimes when you're standing in the danger zone and the waves are getting hit, like, that shit fucking...

You get your head put in the dirt a little bit. Like, trying to pee while that's going on, like, there's no way you're just letting it fly the whole time. Like, you're gonna have to grip it a few times. It's gonna get cut off. It's gonna be brutal. So this is a girl. In that situation, too.

Okay. I was like, what are we gripping in this situation but i people are gross don't pee and don't don't pee near people like i understand people will pee in the pool but if you say they're peeing in the pool i will move to the other side i mean like i will say when i pee in the pool i'm not like talking to everybody like we're not like yeah two feet away and i'm just like letting it fly i do a little lap you know what i mean i give everyone some space that back pressure it's hard to pee underwater because there's like the you know you're not just going against air no it's not i promise you it is not difficult it's harder not that it's tough, but it's noticeably different.

The act of peeing feels better, but I do find myself getting stage fright if I'm in a lake or a pontoon or something. The only solution is you jump in and you pee and you just realize, why can't I pee now? And you're just kind of making laps around the boat, trying to look not awkward that you're trying to pee. In this situation, are you treading water or are you just holding onto the side of the boat? Either. Depends on the moon phase. It's hard to float and tread water and move whilst

trying to pee at the same time. Not really. It's not. You just drop your shorts and you just let it fly. But you're moving your legs. When you're peeing normally, you're not used to when you're peeing. Normally you're standing still. If you said,

all right, we're gonna be at a track and we're going to be running laps and you have to also whip it out and pee at the same time. It's going to take more focus. Your body doesn't want to pee while you're moving. Then you don't really have to pee. That's fair. Burn.

You know why it's difficult to tread water for you when you're peeing is because you have to use your hands to pull your bathing suit down and pull your dick out because then you don't have any arms to fucking tread water you asshole it is tough it does make it tougher i i'll stand by that till the day i die at my funeral i'm gonna make you guys read a note that says i'm still right peeing on yourself it's disgusting you think that i'm surviving on this planet longer than you are you fucking kidding me i'll fake my death before you die that's the only way that i'm going to your funeral i'll promise you that it would be in that because you would be dead first not because you

just wouldn't go to my funeral yes okay cool thank you because otherwise hey that's mean i would love to fake my death agree disagree like what like what's your purpose like why would you are you doing it just to like go off the the map? No, just purely just for fun. Like, I have to run away from it. There's no danger. Just to see if we could do it. I mean, I don't think I would enjoy it. Why not?

Because, like, you're just going to get everyone riled up and upset. Define everybody. Not that many people know me burn i'd be upset but you'd be part of it what's so now every wait so i'm faking my death okay is this all my friends are helping me out or am i am i doing this for this public platform that i don't have like what are we talking about it's for the like to see if you could like do a really elaborate death that like makes the news because it's so insane but you like obviously need people to help you out to do that you can't just pull this off one man i mean i guess i'm just, like, I don't think I would try to fake my death, man. I don't know. I don't think that needs tons of, like,

explanation and context. I just... You're no fun. Zach, are you in or are you out? I just don't know. What does faking my death get me? That's what I'm saying. Like, there's no benefit to it.

So? There's plenty of things that don't have a benefit but are fun. If anything, it's more hassle. I have't have a benefit if anything if anything it's more hassle i have to get a new identity a new social security card i can't really hang i have to make all new friends because i'm assuming like your friends are in on it no you don't you don't have to be dead forever just like you know a certain period of time if i fake a death that my friends are in on it you know how long that fake death's gonna last maybe a week

yeah they're gonna snitch they're gonna snitch or they can keep a secret it's just how are you faking your death burn uh that's what we're here to play it i i don't know what connections do we got hold on hold on i'm assuming, Brian, you know Mama Carmine's, right? Yeah. You're telling me that Rooks comes to you and asks you to fake his death, and you agree, and you see his mom devastated at the funeral, and you say nothing? You just let her cry? Rooks isn't showing up to his funeral.

He said he's not going to my funeral. I'm not going to his. But you know. Maybe I die in the fiery car crash that he also dies in. Maybe his mom is in on it. You literally, two minutes ago, just clarified with me that I did not say that I was not going to go to your funeral. That's not what I said.

And you confirmed that. Hey, I can cut that clip out and use that till the day I die. You do what you gotta to do, man. But like, don't fake your death. Oh, man. Okay. Well, I won't fake my death. It is Wednesday, Mikey.

My nipples are hard now. Number one, remove your bra. I like nuts. Sis, in my butt, I'm ready to go. Golf is a sexy thing. My dick will go like, boop, and just flip inside out, and it'll turn into a vagina. And you take me. Hi, boys.

And of course, Pennsylvania. You leave the butter in the crack. Why is my spaghetti fizzy? I want to kiss you on the mouth, baby. God damn, he's so good. Yeah, he calls me big time. Ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah.

Booty. Of course, it makes me dookie. If you just wanted to slurp something and then spit it back out. And then I swallow. I want to die. Raw dog and lower. A kid's turkey based on nipples. He's got slop. Welcome back to another episode of It's Wednesday, My Dudes. Episode 84. Corey's computer is currently on strike, you know, trying to ask for a fair wages. But we will call him in for the round two of this PP draft because it went so well last time we made it only two rounds in so gotta finish that out

but first or I guess Rooks is here Zach's here yellow but first like how's your week so Rooks you're finally like have a social life again your boy has a life again boy suited up

Friday night took the l um great season love all my boys but man like going into the game i was like dude this is great because if we win i get we want to play off game if we lose i get my life back so that's lovely um um yeah quick point do you know who that loss was fantastic for this the second and third stringers on your team because they were like hell yeah i don't have to practice and be a tackling dummy for another week thank god like let me actually go those are the kids who are definitely bringing up your your gpa on your team like finally can actually study instead of going to practice and just get my dick my like tits beat off my chest every day the kid what did you just say getting their tits blown off their chest

jesus um no yeah definitely we had because like for playoffs they'll call up a few jv kids and then the jv kids job is just to run scout all week like they're all battered like they're all just like they were definitely so hyped that we lost because those kids just don't those kids definitely don't want to play football for at least like two more months because they just they had a week long of just getting put in the fucking dirt were there no jv kids that were like half decent at all no no they were good like some of them like uh some of them are decent but like there's their main goal is to just give us a look on scout team and to give starters rest. So they're four days just running scout and getting whacked.

They're not bad players, but they're just younger, less experienced, smaller. Fair. Got you. But yeah, football season's over so that's lovely. And then really just took the weekend. I wasn't feeling great Thursday so I took the weekend to just kind of get my legs

back under me. I didn't really do too much. Sunday went to a little bar guy. Had some fucking I said I'm gonna take it easy. And then yeah, I did go to a bar on sunday but it was a pretty mellow bar day i had like six beers um watched some foosball fantasy team absolutely poopooed the bed but i had some of the best wings i've ever had in my entire life oh my god they

were so fucking good um where uh it's this place franklin hall in dc um it's a really really cool spot but they uh the wings like weren't um they weren't like fried you know have you ever had like smoked wings yeah oh man like they were just oh they're so good like i haven't had a good smoked wing in a while throw some honey sriracha on that shit oh my god it was bussing um but yeah no uh and then yeah just fucking cooled it though it didn't really do much so i'll give the weekend uh one l and then one w because like we lost but then like i had some fucking wings wings hey i like it zach uh was this the weekend you puked or was that last week no that was last weekend zero pu weekend zero zero puke for me well i don't even think no puke out of this snap i don't know if you sent in a snapchat like what

you ate but all i did was get a text that said yeah so i ended up puking i was like oh yeah that was two weeks ago this week i had uh this weekend was a rack of ribs weekend right it was rack of ribs and a box of mac and cheese weekend oh my god man you oh that's solid though absolute animal at least those go together i feel like your food's very random and a lot at least those are like that's the main course in a dish that actually makes sense yeah yeah baby steps here um but yeah i didn't i didn't really do anything either it was kind of a center myself center myself weekend because I'm going to be traveling a lot and hosting people or doing stuff throughout the holidays basically. So this is my last weekend to just kind of not do anything.

So Saturday night, I had a big old guy moment. I was cleaning my apartment. I turned on my sad boy playlist, and then I poured myself a little old guy moment. I was cleaning my apartment. I turned on my sad boy playlist and then I poured myself a little vodka guy and just proceeded to clean my apartment and dance to music for about two or three hours. It was fantastic.

It was the best. It was on my Bose speaker. I was jamming out singing anything from Taylor Swift to Michelle Branch uh that song oh um oh my gosh oh i'm gonna think of it give me give me give me a give me something give me something rox oh i was just i was just gonna put in an input i wasn't gonna help you okay situation that's okay sorry i will think of it during this podcast i'm gonna shout it randomly when i do remember it and just interrupt the

conversation okay um but but i did get a text and my friends were like you'll come inside a bar and i responded with nope like not not going out i'm like i'm staying in so sunday um made my little rib guy which was delicious uh my mac and cheese them oh yeah of course i made them what did you all right cool i don't know you don't have like a grill right no to me like ribs like you have to put them on a grill i just i agree i'm not a grips i agree though yeah i agree that grilled and smoked ribs are better however in the oven they're not terrible you just wrap them in foil i bake them baked them for like at like 265 for like three or three and a half hours and then you i unwrapped them in foil and then just put them under the

broiler to get the top a little little crunchy guy yeah just had a little little barbecue sauce on the side two celsius and uh yeah we were rolling and just some more cereal to kind of cap it off i actually feel like i mean a full rack of ribs well a full rack of ribs is i didn't eat it back to back like i wasn't like oh here's the mac and cheese and then here's the bowl of cereal like in the same same meal well you you put it in the same sentence so also don't act like that's wild for him to assume don't act like that's crazy for him to fucking be like, oh, typical Sunday. So, yeah. So, like, as bad as a full rack of ribs is, like, calorically, I feel like it's not as bad as some of the prior things I've eaten.

Like, it's protein. Like, it's a lot of protein. It could be worse. It could definitely be worse. You could eat so much that you throw up. Correct. Very true. That was bad. it could be worse it could definitely be worse you could eat so much that you throw up correct that was bad um and yeah i only had one box of mac and cheese instead of two so i count that as growth um i literally had two boxes in my hand and i was like not today satan and i put one back

mark the date the day he turned down going to the bar and a box of mac and cheese yeah either you're grown up now or it will never happen again yeah we'll see uh so that was pretty much it i'm gonna write my weekend 176 rushing yards because that's the new nfl record set by my boy justin fields who i was told couldn't play quarterback in the nfl so yeah i have a waiver claim for him in one of my fantasy leagues because hell man how did he like figure it out halfway through the season when nothing else changed i think they're just i think it's just like play call like and i granted you can call me if i'm wrong zach but like like i don't know i feel like he's such a good runner that i think they're like with him getting this much shit like they have to start like it has to be some kind of play call change.

You know what I mean? It's not like forcing him to be a pocket guy. Like, let's let him fucking move around a little bit. Yeah, they had like no quarterback runs called in the first four weeks, four or five weeks. And then in the Monday Night Football game that I was at the game against Dallas in this game, they've called 10 design rushes for him per game. The Bears are rushing for over 265 yards.

I think they're averaging a combined not just in fields, but they're averaging 220 yards rushing per game. It's disgusting. That's a lot. They run on 60% of their plays, which hasn't been done since the 70s or 80s. It's insane. So you it's a lot. They run on 60% of their plays, which hasn't been done since the 70s or 80s. It's insane.

So you guys making playoffs this year? I hope not. Dude, honestly, Sunday was the perfect outcome for me. Justin Fields looked like an all-pro quarterback, and then we lost. Higher draft pick, baby. 2024, 2023, 2024 Bears coming for that ass. All right.

Can I just say, um, I, and I was gonna, this is what I was saying earlier. I was going to interrupt Zach, but I'm a big advocate. Every person,

every person should have a sad boy. I don't want to wait for our lives to be over. Okay. Sorry. Go ahead. It relates to that. It's perfect. Every,

every person should have a sad boy or a sad girl playlist. everyone's every like if you're just sad and sitting in silence like what the fuck are you doing man like i said it before like feel your shit like throw whatever makes you sad and just throw that bitch on and just fucking curl up in a snuggie or some shit man feel it dude i uh one time i was going through some what I perceived as relationship issues. A girl wasn't texting me back or whatever. So I decided on a random Thursday, it was cold outside. I put on my TV. I looked up YouTube rain on window.

And it was about a three-hour rain on window thing. And I pulled out of my liquor cabinet this. It was called like barrel shot. It's basically like Bailey's, but with whiskey instead of the whatever alcohol is in Bailey's. So it's like bourbon. It's like bourbon cream. So then I just needed to fill a mason jar with ice and just dump that in there and just drink it straight. And I just danced around my apartment to Taylor Swift, like her new album at the time.

And I stayed up because there was like coffee in it i stayed up till like 4 a.m and then i immediately went to the gym like hungover as shit and then i just worked out from like four to six so yeah feel your feelings what's your freak five five night hey i respect everyone has their own different method exactly braga how's the weekend uh dude still raining here it's insane it's been like a solid 21 days straight of rain oh wait but it like we didn't do zach's rating no 176 uh rushing yards from rushing oh yeah that's right my bad my bad sorry no you're good you're good thank you for checking though i appreciate you trying to get my rating i love love you. Gotcha. But it like sort of slowed down on Saturday.

So I went to this hike. It's called Trail of 10 Falls, which as you guess, there's 10 waterfalls on it because you know, creative name. But I show up and there's like all these signs and like rope and like tape and stuff like blocking off things. I'm like, well, crap.

I drove like an hour and 10 minutes out here. They're doing a marathon there. Like in the middle of the woods on a trail. It's like, what the hell? Like the one day of the year, this place is going to be like actually like booked. But then there's like one sign that says like, you can still like walk on it. So I'm walking like the opposite direction of people running a race on this entire trail. I feel like a huge dick.

But there's like other people also still hiking. And I've never seen more people walk during a race than this like for the first like hour of the hike not one person was running and it was like is this supposed to be like actually a race or are we just like we're all just hiking for fun and then i think i got to like the pack of like all these like dudes that look like they actually run marathons and they're booking it down these hills like it's's like you walk slow down these paths because there's like rocks everywhere and it's like steep. And these dudes are just full out sprinting down there. So impressive and unimpressive by everybody.

But those waterfalls were sick. You could like since it's rained so much, the water was just like overflowing everywhere. So it shot like another like 50 feet out from where it should have. And you could like walk behind most of them so that's kind of cool um then i'll watch the new weird al movie not that great but i don't recommend it so it's like it's kind of like walk hard like one of our favorite movies of all time where it's like a mockumentary or mock documentary mock biography you know i mean like a fake yeah no i don't know what you mean it's like a autobiography of weird al but it's a fake version of it so there's just like made up stories in it got it like walk hard but it

doesn't lean into it nearly as hard as walk hard does so it's like it's not as funny so i like compare it to that so it wasn't like at the level i wanted it to be um then i went some christmas shopping have you ever been to a mall where every store on the entire floor is closed because it was very confusing it was like the middle of the day on a sunday i walk in and like the first couple stores like the things are closed i'm like all right like maybe they're shut down people don't go to malls anymore. I keep walking, make it halfway through the mall. Still not one store open on the ground floor.

I walk by one human being. Make it to the other side, not one store is open. I go to the second floor and there's finally stores open. What an apocalyptic... Just close the place down. You don't need to have a mall if there's nothing in it. So I didn't buy much. Do we know why it was closed? They're just like, half of them

were closed, half of them were just empty. Because people just don't go to stores. I don't know. It was weird. I've never been in a mall that's like, no one else is actually there. Felt like either zombies were going to show up or everyone's dead.

So and then had a concert last night where it seemed like the requirement to get in was you had to have a bald spot. It was like a surprising amount of like old dudes where it's like it's just like lead singer. Like the lead singer is this chick from like Wales. So I thought it'd be like a bunch of like teenage girls and a bunch of old dudes apparently um the opener would would only talk about like how they have a song on the radio like in between every song they'd be like yeah so they played this

one on this uh WKRX on last weekend if you guys were listening like no one said anything and then the lead singer for the main band just talked about Sean Connery for like there's a 20 minute break in between songs she talked about Sean Connery for like there's a 20 minute break in between songs. She talked about Sean Connery. I was very confused but

it feels good though. At least I don't know. It was weird weekend. I don't know man. So I'll rate it 21 out of 21 days of rain. 21. If we hit 30 we're going to have to add it to like the Bible. 21. Alright you guys ready for

round two of the pp draft drafting more pps that's a p uh zach i think you're uh do we want you're on the turn and we are we calling cory like and he's just giving us his rapid fire picks are we calling him every round or every one of his picks i don't think he wants us to call him for every pick and i don't think we should i would love to but i think we're gonna i will say my pps right now are like pretty specific and i don't think he's gonna take any of my pps yeah same so if we want to have him just rapid fire on his let's do zach and you and then it'll be his turn he can do all three of his and then we can keep snaking beautiful sound good all right uh quick recap Zach has people standing in the aisle in the airplane people hogging the sidewalk Rooks has people smacking their lips and playing their music out loud Corey has people asking what roads you took to get to a place people talking during

movies and then I had people who don't have Venmo and Southern hospitality. So Zach, third pick. My third pick is people who wash dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. It's a literal fucking dishwasher. It's in the name, dishwasher. It's not dish wash partially,

or it's wash dishes, dishwasher. It's doing the job for you. Are they just rinsing underwater and then putting it in? People are scrubbing it and then putting it in the dishwasher. Yeah, people do that. What? Big Tim Kirshner is a savage when it comes. He will use soap and a sponge and then put it in the dishwasher.

I'm like, what are we doing? That is so obnoxious. I would rather test the strength of my dishwasher and put that plate caked in rib sauce and leftover Mac and cheese and say, let her rip like dishwasher. Like, let's see what you can do. It's like a, like,

it's like putting a fifth round draft pick in at left tackle going against, you know, Nick Bosa. Like, we're just going to see, Hey, see if you can hold your own dishwasher. You're going to have tougher, you know,'re just gonna see hey see if you can hold your own dishwasher you're gonna have tougher you know tough challenges let's see what you can do

i just don't understand why people like that's like sweeping your floor and collecting all of the dirt up and then vacuuming it like what are we doing like just vacuum the floor just wash the dishwasher we'll wash the dishes for you it's what its job is yeah people are dumb people just love to do chores apparently once you get old enough that people are dumb. People just love to do chores, apparently. Once you get old enough that you don't have anything else fun to do, it's just, oh, I got to stay busy. I didn't know that was a thing. I would be so bothered watching that happen.

I would be genuinely like, what the fuck are you doing? All right. That's how we solve it. What's the plan, guys like i mean disposable dishes for everything like there's gotta be only destroy the planet so my thought would be i go right to like a shock collar system where if if the dishwasher is open and you turn on the water to the sink you get shocked. Yeah, we could do that easy.

I think you got to make some Bluetooth connection between the three, like make a triangle of death kind of thing. And then you get shocked if you have the dishwasher open and then you start washing the dishes. The only way you can get around that is I guess if you leave it closed and then wash all the dishes.

But then my hope is that once you wash all the dishes but then my hope is that you once you wash all the dishes you realize hey this is a dumb idea that i would then load them into the dishwasher so i'm hoping that mental connection would happen so i think i could think of it makes it just slightly harder to deal with that they just won't do it it's perfect well and is so the connection thing is it like is it a sensor thing so as like as it senses the dishwashers open they go to run the water and it like the sink senses that the water's running so then we're shocking the person correct yeah i like it oh i thought i thought we're just running electricity through the water no no you can't have both on oh that's not what but then you have to they have

to make them wear the collar. So you're saying make electric powered water? Electricity water? Yeah, just run current through the water whenever the dishwasher is open. Wouldn't that kill them? That's really simple. Just make it like a small amount of electricity. I don't think that's how electricity works.

It is. There's different amounts of of electricity i guess like electric eels i guess they're like mid electricity but they don't kill everything yeah you've never been static shocked that's electricity it's just a small amount yeah but doesn't the water amplify it that's why you can't that's why that's why rai chu's just effective against like a like a star me this isn't pokemon um so water just it has little bits of metal in it so it conducts it so electricity electricity can go through water it doesn't make it more it just will let it move through it this is a science podcast bill bill bill i have another idea on how to fix it but like here we go i just i know well no i don't like it's a great idea that involves something but like i don't we're just i'm not

gonna touch on it but you guys you guys probably know what it is what a door of some sort i mean how'd you guess that fuck oh i got a great idea okay going off that uh if if if if you wash your if your dishes are still wet when they go in the dishwasher and then you push it back in and close it and you hit it on instead of washing your dishes a trap door opens up inside the dishwasher and like you lose all all your dishes. How the fuck did you know that that's what I was thinking? Fucking crazy. I thought you were going to say a trap door opens up

and it collects your garbage and it makes your dishes even dirtier. So you open it back up and they're twice as dirty as when you put them in. Okay. There's no... Not a good idea all right that's fine we're not all winners not all winners that's fine that's fine all right rooks you're up all right this next one is like it's a specific thing but it's just like whenever i see it i'm so

bothered when people i'm cutting that out when people post an instagram and it doesn't get a lot of likes so then they take it down and then repost it later and it doesn't get a lot of likes so then they take it down and then repost it later and it's the exact same thing. Oh my fuck. I'm not some crazy Insta watcher over here, okay? I'm not keeping

tabs on people, but I got a decent memory. If I'm catching you do that shit, you are not slick, my guy. Also, what are we doing now like what are we fucking doing to where like we need to be worried about this kind of shit like do better man it's just it's one of those things i'll see because i'll see them post it and then like on my feed three hours, the exact same picture with the exact same caption comes up. It's two minutes ago.

And that's the thing too. On the second photo, if you think you're getting a like from your boy, you're out of your fucking mind. Okay. I remember the Alamo. Okay. I remember that shit.

No, I'm not fucking liking the second one. Go fuck yourself. Also, you didn't get likes the first time. Rew man you gotta do something different change the filter on it anything what's the definition of insanity it's doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results jeremy start jeremy living in new york from the 2011s to 12s. Shout out to Insanity.

Go ahead, Brian. You should put a thumbs down on every photo that you see is reposted. Just start a new thing. That's your New Year's resolution. I got it for you. You're welcome. So there's only... So I agree 100%.

It's very dumb. And it's dumb because the person just doesn't know. You always post in the morning. Post it at 8 or 9 a.m. That way people have the full... Like you never post it... I always post in the morning post it at 8 or 9 a.m. that way people have the full like you never post it I never post on the weekends Monday morning to me is when I found to get the most traction for likes

so you're doing this you have the stats already I'm a weekday five like late afternoon poster because then after everyone's like getting off of work everyone's doing shit like that like like you know we gotta late afternoon poster. Cause then after everyone's like getting off of work, everyone's doing shit like that. Like,

like, you know, we got to, on the weekend, everyone's doing their own shit and everyone's only worried about their own posts. Like, I'm going to look up. I don't like doing the morning.

Cause I feel like everyone's like sleepy and like, I don't know. I'm going to look up. When's the best time to. The only reason. My one friend, she told me that like, it's like research

wise it's like the best the best time to post is like Tuesday at like 6 p.m. or some dude here I go I got you here the best times to post that so right now the best times to post on Instagram they have it for each day

for some reason what so Mondays are 6 a.m. 10 a.m. and 10 p.m. 6 a.m. on a Monday Tuesdays are 2 a.m. 4 a.m. and 9 a.m. so no afternoon posts on a Tuesday you can't post after 9 a.m. on a Tuesday

this article from 4 a.m. 2 a.m. 4 a.m. and 9 a.m. is this from the fucking onion or something like i don't think so uh wednesday is 7 a.m 8 a.m 9 a.m okay wednesday's all bots wednesday's an early night for people apparently that's right yeah thursday is 7 a.m 8 a.m and then 11 p.m there's thursday you're out of the bar that's true home and you know friday is 5 a.m 1 p.m. Thursday. You're out of the bar. That's true. Going home. Friday is 5 a.m., 1 p.m., and 3 p.m. Why? I get the 1 p.m. and 3 p.m.

Because everyone's kind of logging off from work. And they're kind of just bullshitting on their social media. Or lunch. Saturday, 11 a.m., 7 p.m., and 8 p.m. Which I also get. Because everyone's posting their fits to go out on a Saturday. Good. At like 7 and 8.

And then Sunday is 7 a..m 8 a.m which is probably pics from the night before and then four church photo or church photo shout out jesus jc um and then 4 p.m um so yeah really weird i don't know the weekday ones make no sense no fucking sense that's all bots it's all what's like 4 a.m over in china like that has to be like 3 p.m and it's right when like if you post at 4 a.m on a tuesday it's just all comments of like oh don't click my story if you're horny it's like all those yeah you won't believe what I did in my story. It's all shit like that. But yeah, no. I hate the double post on Instagram.

It's the worst. It's the fucking worst. Just do better. It's not good. Deal with your first post. Just deal with it. Or just deal with the fact you're unpopular. Yeah, or people just don't like you very much.

Deal with it. I don't fucking know, man. You're the one that's posting. You're putting yourself out there. Post better content. He said it. I will say the fix for this. We have a digital trapdoor.

So they post the second one and it remembers the first. Obviously, it has the first one in the system. You know what I mean? Immediately, your Instagram gets dropped through a trapdoor. It's done. It's deleted. It's gone. like obviously like it has the first one in the system so you know what i mean immediately your instagram gets dropped through a trap door it's done it's deleted it's gone just delete the entire account yeah please you literally open the app you open the app and there's like you're looking

straight at a door and it just opens and you see your profile super tiny like down in a pit and that's the end of it anytime you open up the app it's just like a hole in the photo and then you just see like your profile at the bottom like it's all the way at the bottom uh that's incredible all right cory's up he said he was driving so this would be interesting hello sir sir uh you're up we're gonna give you three picks in a row because we don't want to call you over and over that seems really fair also weird the call shows up as a new Kensington. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Weird. Didn't expect that. What? Okay. Can you give me what was, what was, no, I'll just pick. And then you guys tell me if I need to pick a different one, if it was already picked. I'm going to take, I'm going to take cubicle talkers at the office. Okay.

The worst. Just, just Eddie talking? Because I'm on take cubicle talkers at the office okay the worst just just any talking because I'm on board with that no no I'm fine with like friendly banter like like what is it called water cooler talk like a quick hey how you doing but the ones that like last an hour and you're like both of us didn't get paid today to do this so like why are you still here um those people suck um the ones that the ones that like actually affect your job you know in the negative aspect the ones that the ones that come by and literally in your head you immediately go like holy fuck this is gonna like immediately in your brain you're just like well here we go like i told it's the worst i feel that no mana headphone music or anything like that can

think of an excuse yeah no mana headphone music or anything like that can uh can deteriorate them like i could have a hoodie up my headphones on and like my head down on the table and they'd be like hey zach how's it going yeah and they're typically like their names like scott or like uh deborah call it scott scott at dick's sporting goods catch these hands dumbass good body i mean i haven't been in the office for three years so this is reaching back three years ago so i'll call people out scott's been asking about you man also how are we fixing this? Where's the trapdoor going? Ah, fuck.

I would say like behind my little rolly desk chair, but then I might trapdoor myself by asking. Risk you to take. I mean, I guess I'll just reuse the technology from the theater and it's like a certain decibel where it's like if it's my, instead of a decibel, it's like the length of time. Oh, that's a good one. And if it's not my voice.

If it's length of time and not my voice. Okay. Because I can talk at my desk for that long. Damn. But nobody else should. They introduce a new process, and Corey's manager has to talk to him and help him with his shit for like 20 minutes, and he just dies because of it. Hold the lever.

Yeah. Pull it. Send me away to my death. Also, sorry to interrupt you cory um we actually have a surprise for you um burn actually has scott on the other line can you uh oh yeah oh it's gonna be a long episode man i'll tell you that hi there cory my name's scott oh my god right it sounds exactly like it all right give us a fourth pick can't hate on scott this long

fourth man i don't my The ones I picked last week were questioning during movies and people will ask you instructions from directions, right? Yes. Okay. So I'm going to say people who act like eating bone in wings are like heroes and then

make fun of you for eating boneless wings. Whoa. Spoken like a true little bitch. What a liberal like like okay sorry i'm just like eating my chicken without a hassle i'm i'm not saying that you can't like bone in wings that's completely okay i don't care i get it like eat your wings how you want to eat it that's's all you. That's fine. And I eat bone-in wings too. But I sometimes order boneless wings.

And the whole speech of, oh, you're such a baby. You're getting boneless. Like, buddy, it's all chicken. It's all chicken. It's all going to the same fucking place. Sorry, I don't want to just destroy myself in the process and create a scene. That's fine. How are you eating these wings?

How are you eating them? How hard are you making your bone? That you're destroying your body. What does that even mean? What does that phrase even mean? You're not supposed to, you're not supposed to eat the bone, man. No,

I'm saying like, it's just getting everywhere. I don't, I'm not, I'm, I'm just saying that my pet peeve is that I have a problem with people that have a problem with me eating boneless wings. And one of my points is I don't have a problem with you eating bone in wings. So why the fuck does it matter?

I hope you're at church right now. Just yelling about boneless chicken wings. Usually you hang up like, all right, they're doing hymns now. Bye. Honestly, people,

people need to know. Like, I don't understand where you think you get off that you're like oh man like i'm a fucking i'm a fucking caveman sitting here with my bone and i'm better than you because i'm a man it's a fucking chicken like grow up i hate it i hate it i hate all of you i guess i knew you like bone in wings it's fine but like fine, but I don't like the attitude for when I order boneless. How many times have you gotten bullied

for fucking eating boneless wings? I know we've all probably said things to you once, but Jesus. I've probably eaten chicken with any of you guys, I guess. Oh, for sure. I mean, yeah, but I feel very strongly about this. I feel like there's a lot of other ones. This should have been your number one overall pick.

Yeah. And I guess you three feel differently because that's why I feel strongly about it. I wouldn't care. I don't know if I've ever said like... Be told to back it up. I don't know if I've ever said to somebody like, you're a bitch for eating boneless wings. I think it's a worse... it's not a one it's not a wing two it's it's not as flavorful as a regular wing it's also just not as fun like i just want to get down and dirty with some food once in a while i want to go caveman

style it's like eating the shower orange once in a while like eating orange in the shower it's the same thing some shower wings oh shower wings oh now we're doing gas all right how we solve this we install showers at buffalo wild wings so that we can eat our bowden wings in the shower and cory can sit at a table what everyone on board i'm just not gonna go eat food with you guys i guess that's how i'm solving i think you're projecting on us that we would give you shit for boneless wings like i just think that it's i i genuinely i might have said you have i'm not saying you have but when i said that i am meet my immediate response from all three of you was boo and you must hate all three of us i wasn't saying you guys do that, but your reaction was, we probably have

done that, so I'm just backing my point up. I don't think, I can't tell you that you guys definitely have. I don't think you have. But people do. People do. I know I have. I know I have for sure. There you go. So there, Brian. I'm targeting Brian. We need you to call in every

week, because apparently if you don't see our faces, you get to yell at us. And uh i appreciate the energy you're bringing uh who else are you gonna hate on for your fifth pick the the distance between uh you three and me with just my phone and headphones in and not seeing you is astronomical and i love it okay um yeah this is my preferred medium now i'm never getting a laptop ever again um cooper knock it off um cooper's with us he also thinks you're baby free and bowless wings he's sympathizing with me fine he won't get fed then for the next week there you go. Call PETA. I don't care. I'm going to go with my last pick. Can I give my

what do we call them? Honorable mentions? Sure. Okay. Two more picks. One more pick. One more pick. One more because cubicle and then wing.

Oh shit. Just because I feel like i have to have this with how much i've bitched about it to brian and it's another food one the uh the foods that you have to order that happen or the drinks you order that have like full meals on top of them i just like it bothers me it's The milkshake specifically. Yeah. It's like you get them. Okay. I've gotten one that I was like, this isn't terrible.

And it was when we were in Chicago this summer. And I got a mimosa or something. And it came with a mini donut on top. And I was like, okay. This is tiny. It's like a quick pop it in your mouth. You're good. But the ones that are like a milkshake, it has like a slice of cake, like rock candy, somehow bacon's tossed in there.

It's like, I don't, like, who's eating? Like, this is a full meal I ordered a drink. I hate it. It irks me. How many times has this happened to you? Trapdoor. Trapdoor. Trapdoor. it irks me how many how many times i've heard you to you trap door trap door trap door no this is like a quick sand type situation where you think it's going to happen a lot and he talks about it all the time but it really never happens the amount of times i've heard cory rant about milkshakes with too much stuff on him is way too high. You know, it doesn't happen to me specifically

out. It's just like, that is a thing, is a pet peeve of mine, I guess. Because, I guess maybe it's like watching cooking shows or something. Like, I've seen it, or like, people on Instagram, like, I've seen it enough where I'm like, get over it. Like, you didn't get that drink. Like, you just

got that drink to take a picture of, like, the full meal on top of it. Like, just order a five-course meal and take a picture of like the full meal on top of it like just order a five course meal and take a picture of that don't order a fucking drink that has a whole meal like it's it's obnoxious and i don't like it man i mean trapdoor comes on the milkshake yeah yeah I like easy addition you want to real quick to your honorable mentions and we'll let you go yeah yeah yeah left lane drivers

like people who don't just anyone who drives in the left lane yeah there's the whole left lane is a trap door people big deal birthday people people who like celebrate their birthday for a month like yeah relax like The whole left lane is a trap door. People, big deal birthday people, people who celebrate their birthday for a month, relax.

Don't like that. And then people who don't listen to It's Wednesday, My Dude. And that's my last one. So everybody. What a good fan. So everybody. Yeah, you don't like a lot of people then. I'll tell you what. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's probably it I mean I hate everyone else too so that's fine well thank you please recover from your gonorrhea we love you bye bye mm-hmm I'm damn he's taking him off the line

like that savage uh i didn't i don't know i didn't expect him to actually have anything else to say all right that was aggressive i didn't expect him to come in that's so hot but i i love it i guess if you're talking pet peeves you're gonna be annoyed yeah right he had me with the first one then the second one i was like all right all right, take it easy, big guy. I know for a fact we're all bone in guys. So he has bad food takes. We all know that.

It's fine. All right. My third pick. Self-checkout. Anyone over the age of 35 should not be allowed in the self-checkout lane. Love it. You should be required to, one, have a license and two, take a test to prove you can do self-checkout. And three, you should have to renew your license every year by having to take a test, both a written and a practical, the written part and in car, like a driver's license. I was at, dude, there's a, so every lane was full of the grocery store and there's like six self-checkout lanes.

Right. And I get in line. There's like two people in front of me it takes me 30 minutes to get into a spot because everyone's like just doesn't know what the hell they're doing it's not like their carts are full everyone has like 10 items it's just i watch this one old lady every item she scanned she got an error and she called a guy over and you'd like figure it out and then she'd grab her next item scan it and call a guy over and i just sat there ripping my hair out. Because just don't.

It's slower for you as well. Why would you do that to yourself? But you have to, instead of putting the things on the thing and then just sitting there and waiting for them to do it for you, you have to go through the trouble of like, oh, it's all broken again. I hate everybody. My thing is, too, like, I, like, when you get the error message and the flashing light, and it's, like, the fucking machine,

it's like, hey, come help this dumbass, and the person has to come over and, like, scan in and help you, like, personally, I am so embarrassed. Like, every time they have to come over, and it could be, like, a barcode error, like, sometimes they've been like, oh, like, the eggs don't Like, every time they have to come over, and it could be, like, a barcode error. Like, sometimes they've been like, oh, like, the eggs don't scan.

Like, we have to plug it in for you. Fine. But I feel like a fucking bitch. I feel like I eat boneless wings. But, like, it's just, like, I am so, like, I'm just appalled at myself. And, like, if you don't have, like, the sense of pride to, pride to like be like i can scan boxes and put them into a fucking bag on my own like if you can't do that go fuck yourself like go get the fuck out of the grocery store two things one would be very america of us to require a license to go

to the self-checkout before you try like a license for guns or anything like that like that'd be very america uh two yeah i i agree 100 i actually thought of this one while we were recording i'm like i'm gonna pick it so great pick i whenever i go to the self-checkout i time myself i'm like can i do this in under a minute and i'm just like i'm like bang bang bang out and i like i like to see how fast i can i'm the opposite like i want to see how quickly i can go yeah um and yeah it is a it is the biggest of like secondhand embarrassment when like someone's just on there and they're just like they've never seen a screen before in their life and they're just like how do i look up my sweet potatoes it's like search by name s e s w e e t space p o t not organic sweet potatoes ball boom weigh your item weigh your sweet potatoes put your sweet potatoes in the bag it's pretty good so i agree no i

yeah humans aren't good at like life sometimes so also we need to put a limit that's an easy trap door oh that is the easiest trap door easiest you put a time dude if they put a time limit on there imagine making it a game and you could like bet yeah be like like complete the self-checkout in under a minute you get 20 off your groceries if you don't trapdoor or just three strikes on your screen if you get an error three times in a row just the the cash register just blows up or better idea with the strikes it's like the opposite of like a subway punch card if you get 10 x's then you get trap doored okay 10 x's it's instead of buy one get one free it's buy one get one get one double price yeah or something like

that like we like you've taken too long we need to start penalizing you the price of your groceries hey they deserve it if you're slow enough to be in that lane and not be embarrassed for yourself you have money to spend like have some fucking pride man god my next one uh voice prompts on hinge the amount of heebie-jeebies i get from people. One thing you have to know about me is I love naps. And it's like, oh. Also, every. You're doing some great ASMR in this pod, boys. This is going well. Rooks, you're up next.

Oh my God, that's so good. Dude, every voice prompt. Since you're using like your phone's speaker or microphone or like your headphones, it always starts with their mouth opening and you can always hear it. It's such a noise and i hate i don't know if i could do it it's just like it's so and there's just so much i did not i did not like that oh don't listen to you have a girlfriend so you're good don't listen to hinge props they're the but like when i was when i was on him i thought they were like i know they were kind of fun i think it's a goofy ass thing to do dude i don't want to add in they're interesting i don't want to add in another thing for a girl to deny me from if she doesn't like my voice like

why would i set myself up for embarrassment right there like let her find out on the first date and see if i could win her over with my charm and like oh my voice might suck but i'm very witty and tall yeah you're worried about your voice you're worried about your voice your profile says you're fucking six four eat my ass bitch eat my literal hide over audio i mean just end your voice prompt with i'm six four and just real quick at the end yeah there you go i love that yeah uh so trapdoor for voice prompts. If you have a voice prompt, the government comes and finds you and kills you. Yeah, that's easy. But they hit you over the head with a trapdoor.

I was going to say, I don't know how that was trapdoor involved. And then you brought it full circle for us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you confused and brought you back. It's like a sci-fi movie. Oh, my God. All right. All right.

Corey's back up, but he already gave his rucks. So my next one, I'm going to stick with another social media one. Okay. On Snapchat. If you send me a post. Uh-oh. Just to me. I know this is going.

And then I'm also in a group with you. And you send it to that group. And then it's also on your story go fuck yourself call it literally go call it the father son and holy spirit my guy like literally like and it's i have multiple i have multiple friends that have done this like i dude i can't don't send me the same snap four times in four different locations like it's just why are you wasting my time i never get those three seconds of my life back and the thing is too if it's one to the group and then i see something on your story it's like oh i'm gonna think it's something different like what's the

point of putting it on your story if you're also gonna send it to the group you want to make sure we see it or something like dude i'm gonna look at your story like we're boys i look at all my boys stories like why are you sending me this bullshit you sound so sad right now oh it's right it just drives me crazy we're boys dude because i'll be like i'll be um i'll be in like different groups with like the same people and they'll send it to both groups and send it to me. It's like, dude, why?

Like what? Like the groups one, I understand more sending it to me individually after sending in the groups. I literally, I want to punch you in the fucking mouth. Like, why are you doing this to me? What did I do to deserve this?

I, it drives me absolutely fucking crazy it drives me absolutely fucking insane i've heard you talk about this before and i fully agree and i deleted snapchat because it's annoying um it's the fucking are we gonna solve this by as well as your instagram falling down a virtual trap door your snapchat also does and there's a little ghost at the bottom this this one i like the other one really pisses me off this one i'm more i should have put this one before the other one in my rankings to be honest yeah like this one i want a real life trapdoor or like you said

i want the government to come murder you with a trapdoor or whatever like i don't think you should be able to get away with this like i don't john cena off the top rope with a trapdoor literally go fuck yourself zach just did it to me on snapchat getting people heated oh man zach you in agreement i got nothing to add i got nothing to add that was great i don't know if you're an offender or if you're uh no hates you or if you're on his side i just i just did i just sent it to him just to make him mad but i agree i don't really post on snapchat anymore like i don't post on my snapchat story but i agree yeah um all right it doesn't you're up then it used to happen more

it doesn't happen as often but like when it does, I'm going to fucking kill you. You got two in a row. Alright, yeah. So my next one is going to be not returning the shopping cart to the little carousel thing. Beautiful. It is the most simple way to test if you're capable of living in a society. You take out shopping cart,

you shop, and then you put shopping cart back. People who don't know how to do that shouldn't be allowed to vote shouldn't be allowed um vote to do self-checkout to do self-checkout vote a second time uh own a car have a gun gun car buy a house have babies like the they should be like in shoes i put them in with the old people in the assisted living because they need it. If you can't return a golf cart, you can't return a shopping cart. It's not that much effort to do it.

And they're spaced out kind of nicely. Park close to one. If you're worried about the long walk back, it's not that big of a deal. Just make it easy. If you send them to the old people home, they'll have a lot of practice pushing little carts around exactly little walk like that it's perfect it's natural training i've kind of already solved this though with aldi and then just a quarter oh it needs to be more than a quarter yeah like it needs to absolutely

be credit card yeah trap door yeah oh oh no chinese finger trap you have to put your finger in it and it holds onto your finger until you like your fucking handcuff to a shopping cart or or the uh or the uh i'm trying to think of a way. Okay, here we go. Idea. Listen. There is, after every parking lot exit of a grocery store, there is a car-sized trap door. And the way you do it, there's some sort of, like, connection that you have to make. Like, to withdraw a cart, you have to, like, scan your phone.

Right? Like, GPS tracker. Then when you return your cart, it says, like, cart returned or whatever. And you, like gps tracker then when you return your cart it says like cart returned or whatever and you like said like checked in your cart if you don't check in your cart and you drive over this trap door boom car in the trap door i love it can we change it to a springboard and it just launches you no because if it launches it too close your house is probably more convenient than it is inconvenient. I don't think you're surviving the launch. If you launch cars,

you're going to end up, other people are going to get punished for you being a shitty person. We could dial it in so it lands in one parking lot that we own that's empty and then there's just a pile of cars. That's a tough ask. cars yeah that's that's a tough ask i think zax is much simpler oh yeah that's too much i'm sorry yeah there's like

physics involved there's physics involved with yours and shit zax is literally just the floor moves yeah and they're in a pit that's right uh all right uh my last pick spans every age group, every demographic, every gender, every species, and that's cutting in line. If you cut in line, I want to RKO you from the tallest building and cause severe injury. Whether you're cutting in line when I'm in second grade in lunch, or you're cutting in line for a concert or you're cutting in line to get into a bar or you're cutting in line when i'm in that old person home and i want my fucking oatmeal first and you know fucking whatever eleanor is coming up with a little walker says i want my oatmeal i'm kicking the tennis balls off her walker she's going flying can't help it i can't i should probably drafted this one earlier because this was one

this is just people just not understanding again society you wait in line i got here at a certain time i'm sorry you didn't get here early enough go to the back of the line and that's why even when people cut at bars and like even when people like climb through windows and stuff like i still get the heebie-jeebies even if it's like my friends who are doing it i just don't i mean he's like i'll just wait like i'd never want to be cut in line or get into bar before a guy like i'll pay to get in before people do but that's just like an exchange of goods like i'm doing something extra to get into the bar if it's simply me being sneaky and getting into the bar i just can't i don't like doing that it just it just bothers me yeah it's the same as a shopping

cart like you're intentionally making other people have a worse time correct to put yourself ahead correct so yeah i'm all for it except for the fact we said it's cross species i don't think i'm trying to think of things that are in lines that aren't humans and all i can think of is ants but i i don't i don't know if they're waiting to get something and crossing lines would i imagine the natural order uh lion kills a gazelle it you don't see the vultures coming down immediately to get the food could you imagine if the vultures come down first the lines would be like yo what the fuck i just killed this gazelle use my energy for it you'll get the fucking scraps wait a day or two and you can have it relax it's a nature podcast as well the nature

so all right we're gonna have a trap door hidden in the safari for the grass you guys agree you see there's not a lot of agreement there you guys sound like cutters you guys sound like cutters i'm i'm with i'm with you i just don't experience it very much anymore but like the okay i will say the main place i've experienced it that i fucking hate is the airport of course oh the worst dude everyone's the airport and it's just a piece of shit but like when i was when i was internationally traveling this summer um like i don't i don't know if it was just always an american person but like a lot of times an american person was like cutting people in the lines at these international airports and people were like bitching and i could hear them speaking

like american english and i was just like you're making us look so shit right now like just stop being a shitty person but it's because like going through customs is terrible and it's always such a long fucking process and they're just like yeah i just going to walk in front of people. And it's just like, God, you make us look so bad. The last couple of times I flew a Southwest where you literally have a number of where you're supposed to stand in line. And there are so many times where I'm like a one through 30. And there's a dude with like C-50 and he goes to like scan his ticket. And the guy's like, this is C-50. And he's like, what do you mean?

He's like, you can't go on yet. There's a sign that has a letter on it. Are you that illiterate? He's like, Oh, what do you mean? He's like, you can't go on yet. There's a sign that has a letter on it. Are you that illiterate? And he's like, Oh, okay. And I literally saw the guy come back and talk to his friends. Like,

yeah, I tried to get in. They wouldn't let me. It's like, of course. Why? That's I hate, like,

that's one read, like, and not to like fucking tangent Southwest. Like, I know you get to pick your seat or whatever, but like that system, I hate, like, it just stresses me out. Everyone, like, southwest like i know you get to pick your seat or whatever but like that system i hate like it just stresses me out everyone like i think 80 of the population when they get to the airport is

like i'm gonna be a shittier version of myself so like you get in that system where it's like kind of like self-policing sometimes like 80 of the people in that line are shitty people like they're just like i'm just gonna do whatever the fuck I want. It stresses me the fuck out. Everyone's rushing to get somewhere, so no one has patience for anyone else. I don't mind it. I'm a big Southwest guy, ride or die, usually. I don't mind it because you're usually within five, right? Because they segment it off in increments of five.

It's like one through five stand here, six through 10, 11 through 15, whatever. So as long as I'm within five of my boarding group like good whatever like if i miss my optimal seat because i'm a couple whatever it is the people who are like brian said who are like i'm c50 and we're boarding the egg we're boarding like the military personnel you're like oh i'm c50 i think i missed my you're like no no you didn't you didn't you didn't at all so i agree i uh i'm going to the airport on thursday so i'm going to try not to be a shittier person i'm usually just more of a quiet and more resting bitch face person of myself which i think just helps me avoid conflict i'm i'm the person that like i will give the looks like i will make you feel uncomfortable with how i'm looking at you but

i'm never gonna like cause a scene right scene. I will sit there and I'm going to just glare into the back of your fucking soul and make you feel like a bitch. I don't like that you said you're going to make people feel uncomfortable by how you're looking at them. You think I'm licking my lips at these people? No, I'm giving them a fucking death stare.

So to round out my draft, and this is something i experience all the time uh shout out my friend group from back home i hate when people have a preference on like where to go or what they want to do and they just don't say it like food dude's the worst like literally yeah and it can apply to food too but like with my friend group from back home it'll always be like someone be like okay where do we all want to go out tonight and someone will say like oh why don't we just go here and they're like they'll make up some dumb fucking reason as to why they don't want to go like they'll be like oh i didn't have fun there

last time and it's like bitch we go there every other week and always have fun like what are you talking about it's like well like i also don't want to spend that like much on drinks dude we live in dc like it's going to be expensive no matter where we go and it's just like well like what if we went here and it's like bitch why wouldn't you just start with that like we're asking for suggestions like just say the place you want to fucking go to and it just oh my it drives me absolutely fucking crazy and like that's the thing like people do with smaller things too. Like, with fucking, like, food and shit. It's like, oh, what are you trying to eat?

And it's like, oh, I don't really know. And then you give suggestions. And they're like, oh, how about this little place that I just stumbled upon? It's like, don't act like you haven't looked at the fucking menu. And you, like, haven't looked at their Instagram and shit. Like, you want to go there. So let's just fucking go there. Oh, it drives me fucking crazy

drives me absolutely fucking crazy but um but you know that's that's my how i end my draft because oh that shit oh that should be way higher because yeah it's the worst and i hate when people like will make the group go somewhere like When you decide on somewhere finally, and then they're like, well, I want to go here. We already decided at this point. Don't change plans. You didn't say one word about it. You didn't say one word about it originally. I'm not like, I don't think I'm usually that person.

But what I have started to do is just listing places I don't want to go and just leave it up there. I don't want to go here, here, here, anywhere else I'm cool with. Yeah. And then that usually. I do the same shit. Yeah. Like, I'm not a big, like, and that's the thing, too, is, like, I don't ever have preference. Like, I don't care.

But I just hate, like, it's very hard planning shit with my friends. We'll back and forth, like, 30 times, solve nothing. And then the day of us going out, we'll, like, pick it all up and be like, okay, where are we going? And it'll be like, oh, I don't know. And then someone will be like, how about this place? And it's like, why did we just fucking argue for 30 minutes when you wanted to go somewhere? Like, oh, it drives me fucking insane. Sounds like you need to just not talk to them until the day you do

something and i mean i we i try my best but like i mean at this point yeah like i do think that there's like days where i'm just like fuck it i'll wait till saturday and we'll figure something out but other days like i want to know where the fuck we're going like yeah sir all right uh corey did his and uh my last pick right yep cool all right my last one i don't have a long story for it i still like people who don't cut their fingernails like not it's just gross like people like i don't know you know like dudes there's like are you saying like long long nails or like there's like i don't have i don't have long fingernails but i like bite my nails so like they're not like i mean that's gross as well but like i'd rather be too short than too long you know there's like certain there's like a couple

different types of fingernails people have like there's like three different styles i don't know why but like there's one type that like dudes have that are like really rounded oh yeah and like they never cut them for some reason. For some reason, those kind of dudes just never cut their nails and they're really thick, thick and long. And it's just gross to give me heebie jeebies. I don't like just cut the white bits off. You can see the color just like every week. It takes two seconds.

You've learned it since you're like five. Like, take care of yourself. It's just kind of gross yeah no i mean i just i don't look at people's nails to be honest all right well that's fine i like i told you that i didn't have a i wasn't angry about this one this was gonna be a this is the reason it's the last one because it's just like a it's shit like that where it's like i don't like uh like it's the same thing it's like like like i've had girls ask like oh do you like my shoes with this outfit it's like i ain't looking at your feet like i don't know man like i mean this is specifically dudes like i girl long nails i don't like,

but, like, dude long nails are, like, more disgusting. I'm wearing gloves around you from now on. It's freaking me out. Hey, man, you're the one who's, like, giving people sexy eyes in the airport, so. That's true. We're going to be a weird combination when we fly somewhere together. All right, well, that's the PP draft.

Honorable mentions. Honorable mentions. That's a good point. You bastard. be a weird accommodation when we fly somewhere together all right well that's the pp draft uh honorable mentions honorable mentions you bastard go all right go for it oh let me pull up my list i was trying to get out i've only got a couple um uh i think it's similar to the checkout slow people at tsa it's similar i like to see how fast I can get through TSA or security. TSA's the worst. It's like they will yell it saying like don't take your shoes off or leave your, you know like the times where it's like you have the little puppy sniffing you and you can be like

leave your shoes on, keep all your stuff in the bag and it'll get up to the line and be like start taking their laptop out and I feel so like TSA people have a thankless job, right? So like the amount of times like they can like shit talk a person who just wasn't listening like i'm all for like them just be like no dumb fuck did you not listen to me i said keep the laptop in the bag there was one time in the line sorry to like interrupt in the last year i went to the airport this lady tried

to bring like a costco size bottle of lotion through tsa and they were like no and she's like what i just bought this this was like 16 dollars and they were like ma'am you can't take any liquids past this point like she's like it's not liquid it's lotion and i was like i'm gonna literally i'm gonna slaughter you like get the fuck out of my way lady dude same thing on my flight home from ireland this was international flight too this lady had a bag just I'm going to literally, I'm going to slaughter you. Like, get the fuck out of my way, lady. Dude, same thing. On my flight home from Ireland, this was an international flight too. This lady had a bag just full of like perfume. So like expensive, expensive perfume.

And they're like, you can take like one of these. And she's like, oh, well, I'm going to take this one. And then just like dumped the entire bag of perfume. I was like, what are you doing? And it was like her whole makeup bag too. Like it a full set of stuff it was like have you never flown anywhere um and the one more i have kind of goes along with cory's car thing but it's uh people who slow down to merge like the worst on like an on off ramp or anything like that like you're you're the one who is causing this traffic right now i I'll be waiting behind with plenty of ample room,

and they'll still be kind of like that weird midsection where they don't know if I'm letting them in. I'm like, just speed up and go. I'm clearly letting you in. Make a move. Be a semi-aggressive driver for me one time. And they're waiting for me to get out of my car and wave. I'm like, no, go ahead.

They want me to push their car over. I'm like like just fucking go chicago drivers all right rooks what uh what's your honorable mentions um it's kind of relates to zach's cutting earlier but when people push to the front of concerts like oh yeah everyone else is like the reason why these people are ahead of you is because they got here earlier. So they've been here holding this spot forever. Fuck off, bitch. Stay in the back. I love, like, setting the wedge or setting screens when I'm at a festival.

People do this shit at fucking Jack Harlow. Jack Harlow, everyone's trying to push up. And me and Zach are literally just hitting this blunt with this dude. And me and Zach are looking at each other just like, this ain't happening. Like, nope. I do that at any event, whether it's, like, concerts at each other just like, this ain't happening. Like, nope. I'm not, I do that at any event, whether it's like concerts, I'm just like, they're like, oh, excuse me, I'm like,

sorry, there's no way you're getting through. Like, not this way, find another way. Yeah. Oh, it's fucking worse. When it's like, it's very packed and they're still trying, it's like, you know you can't make it, like, my dick is in the butthole of the person in front of me. I cannot move.

And you're trying to squeeze by. They'll get right in front of you and then look around and be like, and then stop awkwardly turned just in that little space that they have. It's like, I know you're not going to stand there for the whole concert. You're going to turn around and go back. And you just kind of give them a death stare. And they'll kind of scamper away. Do you remember that one girl at Moving On got pissed at me because she was like my friends are up there and she scooted

Past and I literally pulled out my phone and filmed her on snapchat And I put my middle finger up like so you could the snapchat is her in front of you Yeah, looking her off and then in the snapchat she turns around and sees me doing it into the rest of the concert She was just like Giving me she was like during she was like bobbing her the concert. She was just like, giving me, she was like, during, she was like bobbing her head

and then just turning around and like that staring me. It's like, bitch, you're still a bitch. She also just stood right in front of you. Yeah. It's like,

you're still a bitch. I hate, yeah, people suck. Concerts are super hit or miss. Another really random pet peeve of mine, I'm using regards at the end of emails. I don't know why.

Like, what are you, the fucking, I don't know, what are you, Lord Farquaad? Like, shut the fuck up, man. Like, I don't know why like what are you the fucking i don't know what are you lord farquaad like shut the fuck up man like i don't know why are you talking to me so proper right now like just say fucking thanks i don't know it bothers me um daylight savings another one after today or after like this weekend this is the fucking worst okay high schoolers they're just like that's just in general the easiest one of all time like like this they're the fuck says the high school coach dude because that's the thing

i have to be around them all the time now and i'm just like oh my god you're the dumbest people alive and like they just they all think they know everything about everything and they're just such dumb people and like it's funny at that age like i always was like why are all these adults like looking at me funny when we're just like getting food and i'm like it's because i was annoying as shit probably like i was probably super obnoxious like the worst um and then my last honorable mention is going to be something that i do that i didn't realize it really pisses like My roommate is the most chill dude on this planet, and he told me that this genuinely pisses him off. When I have stuff in the microwave,

I always open it with two or three seconds left, and I don't reset the timer. So he'll always just walk around and see three seconds, and he'll walk up to it and press clear and just be fuming and shit. I just don't even... I don't know.

I don't think about it oh i mean i was gonna say like a self a self-realization of peppy that i have is i leave all the cabinet doors open and the water running at times in my apartment like i'll just be like making making lunch and then i'll go play xbox or watch tv and then i'll turn over and see all my cabinets open then the then the sink water running. And I'll be like, oh, got to turn that off. Yeah, the sink's the bad. The cabinets we could deal with.

The sink just causes some problems every once in a while. The microwave one's a little OCD. Because I get clean cleanliness stuff. But whatever. Don't look at the microwave. You should get a piece of tape and just cover the time on it so you just have no time and you just never know it's just a guessing game solve it yeah all right my only two uh honorable mentions uh one you know back in the i feel like

this is more of an old thing but people would capitalize every word when they would text yeah it's just like stupid like why is it so much work stop that i don't know now we have like auto correct and auto like capitalization so it doesn't actually no one does anymore but people used to do that and just was weird and then people who stop in doorways like we're all trying to go through somewhere and you're gonna like stop to like look at your phone for half a second there's no room to get around you if you just took one step forward or one step to the right, we're good. But people just don't have any sense of their surroundings at all.

That one bothers me a lot. Also, a grocery store thing, pretty much. I think most of mine are grocery store related. Most of mine would have been airport related. Stressful time. I'm trying to diversify. Our least favorite places on the planet. We'll be back next week. I don't know what we're planet. We'll be back next week.

I don't know what we're doing. We'll be here. Draft some more peepees. But until then, Brooks, what's the horoscope for the week? I said it earlier. Have some pride. Thank you.