It’s Wednesday My Dudes - Ep. 9: Jiffin' All Over My Creamy Waves

Episode Date: March 17, 2021

Everyones least favorite podcast guest is back, Zaddy is here to talk how much we hate Rachael in the Bachelor finale, the debacle of a sports team called the Bears, how Zak is team Skippy (gross), and we all draft the worlds best snack, Cereal. Timestamps: 0:00:00 - 0:54:35 - Bachelor Week 11 (Finale) 0:54:35 - 1:04:50 - NFL Free Agency 1:04:50 - 1:12:53 - Skippy/Jif Debate 1:12:53 - 1:48:21 - Cereal Draft Follow us on Twitter @IWMD_Pod

It is Wednesday, my dudes. Welcome back to another installment of It's Wednesday, My Dudes. We got your boy Rooks, a.k.a. Korean Beef out here. We got the Bri guy, as always. Hi! God damn it. And then we, you know, we're missing some heads today so we had to make a call in for the big gun we had to call the closer in coming in from chicago

you know him you love him the midwestern milkman your mama's favorite good boy zaddy how you doing today zaddy i'm doing great gentlemen this is about to be the best sequel right up there with godfather 2 shrek 2 agent cody banks 2 destination london it's gonna be the it's gonna be right up there with those you know too fast too furious too fast too furious that had two twos in it that was not only a sequel too fast too furious so i'm excited to be back thanks for having me back boys no problem we got a lot to talk about today we got some bachelor little dabble of sports now we're doing a big time draft later you're gonna love it you're gonna want to listen to it yeah food draft this isn't gonna be sports related so let's drive right into the bachelor we got the finale the entire time we all know what's going

down we all know exactly how this is going to end up but we're going to run through it a little anyway the the finale is typically full of bullshit shots of them pacing back and forth and like getting dressed and shit and then just saying man matt man i don't know what to do and then both contestants saying man i hope he picks me we got a whole lot of that but so excited let's let's let's kick it off starting with them it was them meeting the fam uh matt's family first michelle's family michelle meeting his family yeah first off matt's brother bro this man was a mix of like 12 different famous people he's literally a mix of matt kendrick lamar colin kaepernick and like eight other celebrities like crazy man had a grill in everyone was comparing to the mom pat

shout out patty because i like patty everyone's comparing patty to celine dion yeah it was it was interesting seeing seeing the fan together but yeah it's odd dynamic but here we here we go again michelle goes first let's get the let's get the normal out of the way let's get let's get these normal human conversations and interactions out of the way they dive in typical just just typical shit very very on on like on the money for what these conversations are what do you like about my son um he's fucking dope he's cool he kisses with his eyes open oh my god he embodies everything i wanted a man oh my god patty's fucking crying her eyes out just bawling dude everything michelle said was like right exactly what she needed to the one the mom opened the fuck up to michelle

too and was like yeah like i just feel so bad because like matt never had this good family dynamic and it seems like you do and like he always gravitated towards that i was like god damn she's letting it fly right now dude yeah all i think was she's gonna be mad when she gets sent home because she liked michelle way more than rachel oh yeah well i think going back to the brother too the brother just saying when he started, I'm just going to judge them off their vibes. I'm just a big vibes guy. Love so good. And I was just like, I'm going to need more of you throughout the entire episode and just in my life in general.

I just need your updates to just judge my vibes. Everybody say hello to the new Chris Harrison, Matt's brother. That would be so dope. I mean, during those things, what are you going to really ask them and find out in 30 seconds? You literally are just going off of what their vibe is. The producers definitely gave Matt's brother a list of questions.

As much as I love the vibes king, you could definitely tell he's like, so, love, crazy, right? What do you think about that? And they were like, oh yeah, you know? And then he's like, all right, question two. You could tell he was written off a list, but I got to just respect him for just being a general vibes guy.

Yeah. We love vibe guys here. But, yeah, like, it was very, like, it's very, it's just, these conversations are always super generic. Well, and then the parents, like, these, like, this family typically understands what The Bachelor is, unlike when Matt meets the families and they're all like what is this show my daughter's on and shit but like these parents know what's good

these parents like matt's mom knows okay these two girls beat out like 30 other girls obviously like my son likes them you know what i mean so there's like there's not too much for them to dig into there unless they're not as skeptical skeptical. Unless we go back to Peter's season with Barb where his mom was just fucking, I'm making every decision for you, Peter. Let's not go back. That shit was crazy. But yeah, Michelle's,

I mean, it was good. It was... She acted like she was going to win and she said all the right things and she's hella in love with him. Oh god, the whole time we were watching, because because we were like this is like exactly how you like if i was her i would i would leave that being like oh i won i just killed it with his mom yeah me and his mom just fucking cried together i just literally murdered it. And then we were all watching just like, sweetie, we love you, Michelle,

but it ain't happening, brother. But so we move into, they have like the rest of their day. They have like the rest of the day or then Rachel goes. Rachel goes next. Oh yeah, no, because then they have their full days after.

Yeah, yeah. So then Rachel shows up, gives fucking horseshit answers this girl cannot act to save her fucking life this is the first time that like i agreed with you she seemed like she was acting she sounded like she was a pageant queen like giving scripted answers to everything and it was just bad because like his mom was not crying or into her at all and then she pulled out the like religious card and that got his mom i was like this is b you have not mentioned this once this season you are not this religious you are just saying this for his mom to cry it was i i was mad about that and i had formed such a bond with patty at that point, don't mess with my girl, Patty.

Don't be messing with her emotions right now, Rachel. We stand. We stand Patty on this podcast. We stand Patty. The thing his mom said too, he was like, so how do you think about Rachel? His mom went, she's cute. And then just like changed the topic and kept talking. I was like, dude, she's not into her.

Yeah, it was one. It was just like all of Rachel's's answers were so generic what do you like about my son oh he's funny he's he makes me feel safe hard body sick fucking abs long limbs i love it slaying it around in his sweatpants all day but it was just all of her lines were so generic but um but then let's move into so they both have their time matt's mom just said hey so uh you know my like trauma that you've witnessed me like go through i'm gonna fucking tell you about it again literally dropped a bomb on him like i just like shook him so bad i've seen someone that shook that much with like one sentence in my life but so here's my thing there with him getting shook

it's the same thing as like it's the same thing but a little bit different context i said with serena if he can go from and chris harrison said this he's like yeah i talked to you two days ago and you said your wife was here now all of a sudden you don't think you can finish this process like there has to be a level of like disingenuousness is it just disingenuity i ain't fucking good with words um but like there has to be a level of him not being honest about it because it just flips so quickly with his with his mom just saying like hey and i think i don't know his mom the way she phrased it i think was a little harsh but i think she was just trying to say like you know things are going to get real after the show you're not going to be

going on these extravagant dates which is a reality get real after the show you're not going to be going on these extravagant dates which is a reality check everyone on the show always needs anyway but she she said it pretty harsh and then matt who has commitment issues anyway and you just saw the wheels turning you saw the sweat start to come down and this man was like yeah i i didn't realize we uh get engaged at the end of this uh fuck yeah i i'm so mad yeah i have two points kind of on this immediate turn from our girl patty i think in my own experience i'd be interested to hear your guys's opinion i think from my personal experience everyone has that those that one parent that's that's more of the you know everything's gonna

be okay you know you're doing great sweetie keep it up and then everyone has the other parent who's like you know this is some real shit you're getting into you know like you know buck up right now or or whatever and i think patty's just that parent who's just you know hey man i've been through some shit yeah and the other thing too i think when she said love was it love isn't everything or love fate she said love love isn't the be all end all i think was her big okay like anyone that kept getting repeated yeah so i was thinking that was like such an introspective question i was thinking about it for the entire episode i'm like is that really not and i don't know if she meant love or lust like that's what i was debating back and forth because i think

matt's relationship with rachel is more lust than it is love and i again i'm only judging that from the outside perspective don't know what's going on inside but when she said love isn't the end i'll be all i'm like then what is the end all be all because i think love is the we all get born we grow up and we die like that was that's what she was trying to get across yeah trying to get that inheritance money that's what's the end all be all but yeah i i thought it was and i completely agreed there's always like the one parent that's a little a little nicer than the other one just like no like this is how it is like and when it was would bother the shit out of me bachelor is turning into a show where people people are boyfriend and girlfriends i don't

care about 15 weeks of you finding a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I don't care about it. There's literally no stakes in that. There's no fucking stakes. So you need an engagement at the end of this thing? Because I'm with the opposite. I don't need the engagement. I'm along for the ride. But I just think they did a poor job of executing,

of showing us Matt's development and what he was truly interested in in this. It was just all girl drama. I don't need an engagement. Okay, if they get engaged, in the back of my mind i'm telling myself they're gonna break up you know two months later more than likely anyway so i don't need the engagement to you know as the end all be all for the show i i need it in the sense of how seriously the show takes itself so okay the show talks so goddamn much about how many times did we say did we hear find my person in the last three episodes i had it written down five or six in this episode

and it's all it's all about love and finding this and going through this journey and all the shit and they have all these candlelit dinner dates and, there's times where they don't take it as seriously. But overall, it has such a serious tone to it that if you're like, oh yeah, we're going to have this one person go with 30 people for like a month or two. And at the end, they're going to be boyfriend and girlfriend. It's like, you can get engaged and just have that like... Be your dating period. Yeah. Which is, I mean. Yeah.

Isn't, and I've heard this a million times about stuff. When you start talking about bachelor related things, people will say, oh, but like you would never do that. It's like, yeah, I wouldn't go on the fucking bachelor. Like. Yeah. This isn't, this isn't real. This is, as we've said on this pod many a times, it's a game show. Yeah. It's game show reality show so in the context of the show like and i agree like i don't need the engagement but

we need to at least be kind of there it can't be someone brings up like oh yeah you're getting engaged like two days and the person the whole time is like like who said his wife was in the room like 50 times during the season just go man i don't know if i can go through this process it's like we've already gone through the process dude yeah that's what bothers me the most is he sounded so ready for it constantly it wasn't like it was like pilot pete who was just like kind of there for the girls like all the time he was like i'm here to find my wife engagement engagement engagement engagement and then it's two days before and he's like yeah i don't know man like either the girls that are left suck and you made a lot of bad choices or you just literally did not mentally prepare for this at all and that's

all on you because you had so much time to figure this out i just it's just frustrating man it there were like 90 times last night during the episode where why are we here why did we go through all of this girl drama and all this other shit for this guy at the end to just say yeah i don't know if i can do this like the day before he's supposed to propose or like two days before he's supposed to propose to somebody this guy's like yeah i don't know if i can do and like it wasn't it wasn't only he wasn't only saying i can't do this with one person which like that would make more sense because then it'd be like okay he's just more interested in the other one he was saying too like i don't know i might need to have a talk with rachel and all this other shit like he was like genuinely

like i don't think i can do any of this kind of stuff yeah there's a whole backtrack on everything but after both of their dates and him freaking out he sat down with chris harrison chris harrison just dissed his mom was like yeah that was horrible advice i don't know what she was talking about which total dick move but like kind of true chris harrison what do you say what kind of like hallmark card greeting card is that it's like life ain't a greeting card motherfucker it's like um dude's just trying to get this show on the road and actually like get engaged like chris harrison said two days ago we were talking about you being engaged to somebody

and now all of a sudden we're two days out you know on this big finale of this fucking show well that's that's why i think the show itself needs the engagement more than a lot of the viewers do and maybe i'm totally like maybe they side more with you rooks where it's like i need the engage i need the engagement because of how seriously the show takes itself but again that's why i think the show needs the engagement more than like personally i care about it so yeah and also too rose stonks way down because matt james did not care about rose ceremonies at all i think he maybe had three rose ceremonies this entire season he was just sending people home he's just like yeah it's time for you to go he had a girl send him home you know i counted maybe three roses in this entire season

bro i don't know if he's just like so innocent and nice that like that's why he's falling apart or like he just doesn't care about the show. Because like every single person in the show has come down to the final two and they know who they're going to get engaged to. And yet they keep the other one there for the next two, three days. But like for him, that's like just impossible for him to do. So I don't know if he's just naive or what. Well, also, and if we have been doing this pod for Tayshia's season, Tayshia did the same thing.

So Tayshia didn't have like Ben there the last day. And I love that. But she did it in the right way. She didn't do it in, oh, I'm sad. I can't figure this out. She was like, I know who I want and I need to let them down gently.

And my issue with how Matt did it oh, I'm sad. I can't figure this out. She was like, I know who I want and I need to let them down gently. And my issue with how Matt did it was because, exactly, Tayshia knew exactly who she wanted to get engaged to. And Matt is debating which one of these girls to

take pictures with on Instagram and start up hashtag ads with and shit. I can't. There's just no weight to it. I just don't care enough. But that's a me thing. Bro, Chris Harrison, my one random nonsense comment, when he sits down on the curb

with Matt James, grunts so hard like an old dude. You make millions of dollars, get some knee replacements, man. That curb is not that low. S suck it up specific thing hey you're skipping stuff what no that no because we have to have so then now they have their full they have their full shell has her full day yeah yeah they go first off they go on top of the building the top of the building has snow and ice on it matt says close your eyes um go fuck yourself

this guy's throwing throwing chicks off atvs getting girls yeeted into the ground from skydiving now he's like hey just trust me on this icy rooftop like are you feeling dangerous man well then later then later he tells uh rachel yo come come meet me by the lake if you want to hear what i have to say that's all right then we start we reenact them doing like one of the like opening cut scenes of one of the call of duty games and they're repelling down the side of this building no explosions though no special effects none of that so it was a little safer it took them like 95 minutes to get down that fucking thing man and they weren't helmets either zero safety equipment rachel just had her head bounce like a basketball like as like a crisp steve nash bounce pass and they were and they

were like you know what no helmets we're gonna kind of give them some rickety equipment and then like what a dumb date like let's just rappel down the side of the hotel you've been staying at for entire like if that'd be like hey you've been staying at this nice holiday and express you know what i have a fun option for you you can rappel down the side of the hotel you've been staying at for entire. Like, if that'd be like, hey, you've been staying at this nice Holiday Inn Express. You know what? I have a fun option for you. You can rappel down the side of it. Like, no thanks, chief. I'm good.

We didn't get to see what Rachel's date the next day would have been. But I was like, I can't imagine what they had planned for Rachel. Literally, Michelle's rappelling down the side of this fucking building with Matt just wearing a skin-tight Spider-Man jean outfit. Like, bro, I'm telling you, his jeans are getting tighter. They're so goddamn tight. They're uncomfortably tight. And, yeah, they are uncomfortably tight. Well, and then

they're rappelling down, and this man keeps kissing with his goddamn mouth wide open and it makes me so uncomfy. Like, just close it. Like, you can open your mouth as you kiss but don't go in for it with like a mouth big enough for a honeycomb dude like what the fuck are you doing we'll get into that at the very end because he gets called out for it but after their dumb like not ziplining repelling date though they're like hanging out inside being all cute michelle

starts to like give him a bunch of gifts and you see him which is like not reciprocating those feelings back and this is the this is the classic matt you know like realization of my life flash before my eyes type of thing and i relate to michelle i'm a big way this is like when i've emmowed that girl 10 bucks and then she proceeded not to talk to me two days later. This was way worse for Michelle because this was literally instead of two days, it was two seconds. And Matt was like, yo, man. You could have Venmo requested it back, though. I could have.

I could have. But hey, at least, I don't know. Do you think she got to keep those jerseys? Because those would probably look dope at a festival. Could you imagine wearing that jersey to a festival? Like, oh, yo, I have the Mrs. James basketball jersey. I might have to reach out to somebody. There's no way michelle

wants that shit anymore you know yeah no those things on ebay man yeah but yeah dude i was just it was so funny so i saw that she the first one she took out was mr james i was like she's gonna pull out mr james and he's like in my head i was like this is gonna scare the shit out of him yeah see him take the other one you could just see his heart drop through his asshole man that guy looks so fucking scared and he just sits there and is like it's like

avocado yeah when someone gives a gift that they don't fucking want at all and they're just like they just have their they're not smiling but they're showing their teeth and they're just like but yeah it was bad dude and so freaking pulled the band-aid off sort of broke up with her he was just kind of like i i don't know he started like just not being able to speak and she kind of understood like oh yeah he's kind of gonna break up with me

so she had at one point been a fitness consigliere. Not anymore. At one point been a brothel, but not anymore. These girls have way more restraint than I would have. When Matt's weirdly rubbing their knee after he just dumped her, I would be like, dude, get off me. What are you doing? Stop touching me.

Stop being weird. Your giant beefy man hands all over my all over my knee you just literally broke this girl's heart on national television she's upset and just like kind of like venting to you don't fucking start caressing her with your goddamn salad fingers dude like relax okay like just let her let her have her moment you don't get to toss her salad anymore. Exactly, dude. So now we get to Chris Harrison grunting because he sits down on the sidewalk. So he goes outside and starts crying. Chris Harrison, spend your millions.

Get a fake hip and knee, man. You're better than that. Chris Harrison stinks. I'm sorry. Get it out there. He's gone. Let's get a quick a fuck Chris Harrison. There you go. Need to want every pod.

Yeah, and then Matt comes out and this is what I was talking about earlier. He's, oh, I don't know if I can even go through with this process anymore. I'm a fucking idiot. Do you guys think he would have fallen apart that much if his mom didn't say what she said?

Because it seemed like it all just stemmed from that i want to i want to give him the benefit of the doubt and just be like he you know like this with everything he's seen his mom saying something like that could hit him down to his core which yeah well another another big theme of what i was talking to you last night is this before you come on the show probably go to therapy and get the stuff figured out you know let's let's go figure us out like kit's about to do and kit goes and travels the world after she's done here like let's go let's go figure our shit out and then we can start doing this part but yeah um but i want to give him the benefit of

doubt and just be like okay yeah that rocked him but i think it's and this is me just looking at like me i've always kind of had a stigma that he's just very opportunistic getting on the show and stuff like that i think it was just like oh now i can crumble and like people can't get mad at me because it's going to be related to this like deep issues that I do kind of have but I can like throw it in there and people won't hate me as much I think that's you thinking he's planning this way too much but yeah that's just which is fair I I acknowledge it's it's totally fair so he's freaking out in the curb Chris Harrison comes to try to help he doesn't

rachel's date is next after michelle's already gone home and then chris chris harrison shows up like hey there's no date he's also like no no no yeah i was just trying to hit on her i was gonna say yeah don't forget the part where he's doing like the weird like 90s on a locker locker like what up tiffany you look you smell good at even after gym class you want to go to the local sock hop after this it's like what are you doing Chris Harrison literally looked like the what's what's the meme the oh where's my hug guy like that's what Chris Harrison looks like right there so weird and he's like yeah there's gonna be no date it's the day before you get engaged and Rachel's just like oh okay but then then she walks back to the corner of the room and doesn't show any emotion. But what she says in her little confessional things

shows who she is. She sits there, and it's all about her. I can't believe he would do this to me. I can't believe he wouldn't tell me anything like this. It's like, what the fuck's he gonna tell you? Oh, because she's probably thinking okay i lost right like that's what i'm like okay i lost which you could be upset about but what do you expect him to say like on your guys last date after after you just met his parents oh by the way

i'm gonna pick the other girl just like heads up just throw it out there um we probably won't go on another date i won't see you again, but hang tight there. Yeah. Like, what... You should be thinking, like, what the hell went wrong? Like, what's up with him at this moment? Not, like, what's wrong with me? Because, like, obviously something's very wrong with him at this moment, and she didn't mention that at all.

So, yeah, she's, like, very self-centered. Everything with her is just like, oh, my God, like, I can't believe you wouldn't tell me this. It's like, shut up. It's not all about you shut up but so they go from uh not having a date to getting an engagement ring though so you know gotta get that neil lane plug in literally the the the um character arc of matt and this episode is just there's just no consistency with it oh man chris i don't know if i can go through with this process actually yeah cancel rachel's date i sent the other girl home well like i'm gonna fucking look at these sick engagement rings because i'm gonna

engage tomorrow it was like that uh that meme where the the guy has the knife and the other guy's like cowering and it's like matt trying to make an adult decision. It's like Neil Lane with the rings attacking him. It's like this man was able to sell in a proverbial term, like get Matt to take home a ring, when this man clearly did not want anything to do it. He's pear-shaped. You should have pear-shaped. This is the ring I liked when I was little. I'm like, Neil, I guess if you knew what you wanted to do when you grew up,

but Neil, big ring guy when he was five years old. Bored of it, man. But yeah, and I've seen, this has happened a few times, I'll always say this. If you're asking Neil Lane for love advice when you're in the final two, you're in a bad spot. It was like Brendan on Tayshia's season. Oh, dude, that was bad drenched in sweat and he's sitting there like talking to neil lane about bullshit it's like if if you're not comfortable at that part you're gonna have a bad time yeah but you made it way too far to turn back

now yeah but so yeah he looks at fucking rings oh the, yo. The way he holds it, he holds it like the Lord of the Rings ring. Shout out, Corey. He holds it like this, like, you know, like right in front of his face, like in his pointer finger and his thumb. And like, no one holds a ring like this. Like he's like, it's like an alien would hold a ring

and like smell it and be like, yeah, this is, and he's like putting it up against his eye and back and forth. It's like, dude, what are you doing? That whole scene though, take with the biggest grain of salt. because i swear every single like photo in that has to be exactly how the producers wanted to be every single like line in that whole scene scripted like 100 sure well especially when this guy is saying oh yeah like i don't want to get engaged probably not and then the next day

okay we're gonna take you to get the engagement like, this is a huge plug for Neil Lane. This is where he does his business. Okay, we're going to, you're going to say this, say this. And then you're gonna have to hold the ring super like creepy, like with your salad fingers. But, so then we move into what? Rachel getting ready and him getting ready. Meet me down by the lake. What the fuck man like

well they try to swerve us too because at first they had him just standing at the lake by himself and i thought it was just gonna be come meet me down at the lake we're about to break the fuck up they try oh really because the the the proposal always has this beautiful backdrop and all this other shit. I was like, damn, they're not even going to propose. Like, he's just going to yeet her. And then they cut to him standing in this fucking makeshift ass. Living room. Yeah.

They always have some like weird The Bachelor looking over a view contemplating life scene, though. So I didn't take that as like they're not going to do it. It was like the here's let's fill another like 45 minutes of time just to make this a three-hour episode that's the thing too this episode this episode literally could have been 20 minutes it could have been 20 minutes but it's fine i love tight 45 i love the shot i love the shots of them getting ready and pondering like those are always my favorite but yeah so matt starts talking to rachel and it's just whoa back up back up back up the thing he says before he even sees her when he's talking to chris he's like chris asked him like are you ready for this he's like yeah i don't

know i'll figure it out when i see her it's all gonna come to me there's not the decision to make right now no can you imagine you're about to propose to your girl. You got a nice shiny ring. You're holding it in your hands like no one else has ever held a ring before. And you're looking at it. And you just ditched on a date yesterday. Yeah, you canceled a date the day before because you didn't want to talk

to her. And then the next day I'm going to propose to you if I feel it when I see you. I might not, you know. Okay, we'll see, man. Just come on, dude. You know the Derek comedy skit, Girls Not To Be Trusted by Kevin?

By Kevin. It's like, Melanie, will you marry me? No! You've been like yelling at me. He's been like stalking her the entire series. It's like, what are you thinking, man? It's so dumb. Well, and that's the thing. It's just

okay, not getting engaged. It's a good move. Not getting engaged. Yes. No, for them, 110%. But not getting engaged, I can see what you're saying, Zach, where you don't need it for the whole show and everything like that.

But the problem is just his shaky-ass commitment in the last episode and a half. Just everything he was doing was just, okay, I don't think this guy is ready. I don't think this guy is... I don't think he knows what he fucking signed up for.

Yeah. It's bad. And you can see it. the after the final rose is next it dude he is just awkward i feel like they had to cut out so much like dead air during the normal show of him just like sitting there not saying anything to the girls because he does not think quick on his feet what i also i do think especially during rachel's part where they were trying to build tension i think that i could definitely see them like editing in a few more like for sure pauses but like also also like zach said earlier we're taking us at face value we're taking what we're what we're being shown but yeah so this whole fucking journey this like 12 week fucking

journey that we all witnessed ends in goddamn boyfriend and girlfriend wow i honestly liked it though like they seemed very into each other at the end like they seemed very happy like good for them obviously it all comes crashing down but like the last scene after they're like they're not engaged but like they're together and they like said their peace to each other they looked very much in love but see that that interaction seemed like it should have happened in like episode three like that seemed like an episode three interaction not the final interaction of like hey i might propose to you i needed to see that with that with rachel with any of the other girls as to make the season better you know to develop

the relationships to make me more interested you know it's just seeing them be you know like you know basically they just said you know i want to continue this beyond this which is great but that's i feel like that or a similar conversation should have happened in you know the the second or third or fourth episode as they're building their relationship and instead of just saying like yeah like you're cool let's hang out after this the bachelors never ends good we're a bachelorette that seems like they're always like actually committed to it yeah so it's kind of just following that same thing what it's for i think for both of them it's a win-win neither of them has that hard commitment leaving the show which rachel i i genuinely don't think she was that

interested in him i think she loved the idea of winning the fucking show and so she doesn't have to commit he doesn't have to commit and they finally get alone time where they can bone which is what they wanted the entire time so that's good but let's move into that after the final rose first off emmanuel acho the man's the show he needs to host a fucking show agreed he was a little shaky at the beginning like he he didn't seem into it but then he really got going well dude him imagine him at the women's how all he would have put all of these girls in the body bags just slaughtered them i know we shamed tight suits earlier but but when you got, you know, weapons of mass destruction on each side of your body,

like my guy, Emmanuel Ocho does, you wear as tight of a suit as you can fit in, my brother. Props to you, man. Yeah, that thing looked like it was going to pop off his body at any point. But yeah, if I were to give, you know, like hockey ratings after the match, like second star, third star, first star, first star of this entire last episode, Emmanuel Acho.

110%. He was great. I just learned that, I was today years old when I learned that it wasn't three stars. I thought you get three stars, which means you're the best player. And first star was like, you only get one star, so you're the third best. Just figured that out.

It's like third, second, and then like first. You're the best. I feel like it's very counterintuitive. If I'm wrong, Corey's going to rip me a new one next week. Hey, Corey, give us a call and let me know if I just sounded like a dumbass for the 50th time on this

podcast. I honestly have no clue what the order is, so I'm pretty sure first star is best. But anyway, that was great. That was talking hockey he was he emmanuel ocho awesome did a really good job um we started with what just michelle right right i think it was just michelle coming out he gets a whole like preamble like monologue too and just immediately goes we're gonna talk about the racism and we're going to talk about rachel carconal and that's the first thing he says and i'm just like so thankful that that's what you open with because that's what's going to be the topic

and you're going to have to address it and just imagine if chris harrison was the host trying to do any of the stuff that emmanuel ocho had to do would have just been disgusting so this this guy was great we bring michelle out michelle seems i as an ex who probably like loved somebody she seems pretty on point she seems just like kind of pissed she's a little upset but she's holding it together she's looking great the dress was hidden she she did a good job in her interview i love oh my god and i think oh no damn it this is after he comes out but her shout out amanda one of our listeners also i'm gonna say viewers i was giving shit people don't do this podcast but you know getting called out for it i think calling it viewers is funnier so fuck you um but so one of our viewers amanda she sent me

the the stuff michelle said at the end to matt where she's just cooking him love that dude her i hope you stop kissing with your eyes open and you stop saying uh thanks for sharing after everything yeah that's brutal because like kissing with your eyes open okay you can change it but like the other ones like you're just bad at conversation and you can't talk to girls and you could tell luck man and you could tell like he tried to do the fake nervous laugh like haha like his his weird robot laugh there it is um but you could tell she had the face of like no i'm being dead serious you're kind of a serious. You're kind of weird for that. Yeah.

Yeah. But yeah, I loved her. One, I didn't know what they talked about too. Matt's a dick. She was like, I wanted to just have a conversation and get closure, and you denied me that. Which I was like, you just sent this girl home out of the blue. Go own up and like, face the music. Yeah.

I don't understand the people on the show of like, they complain about not having time with people. And then they always find ways to not like, hang out or spend time with people. With Matt, it was just, oh, I want to avoid this hard conversation. Like, get her ass in the Escalade and get her out of Nemacon. It's dumb yeah no if they showed that before it would have painted them in a really bad light so i get why they don't put it in the show but like you know that's gonna come out big douchebag move on his part big bad guy right there but shell goes off glad we'll talk about her in a little bit then we got the butthole coming out the douchebag rachel kirkconnell struts her stuff she comes on the stage my mans came in so hot with all these

questions like he wasn't just like so why did you not do this he was like i'm gonna give you a history lesson on why this is fucked up and then i'm gonna have i'm gonna pose a very simple question for you that makes you realize how much of an asshole you are and she flouted all those questions they they aren't softballs but like there's an answer they're not yourself look good but like she said nothing she said nothing the whole time biggest the most telling one out of all of them far far far far and away is him saying what are these steps you've been taking and her saying well like i could list all the books and all the documentaries but like you don't want like you don't want that it's like

yeah anyone who's ever said that line in regards to literally anything is full of shit is such a fucking liar so i think that's one of those questions where if you answer if she goes and starts listing the podcasts and documentaries other people are going to be like oh like congratulations you know how to download a podcast on on apple music i and but i do agree i think the way she did answer it is also not satisfactory i think what she needed to say was you know these are the actions i'm taking this is what you know beyond just listening and watching documentaries yeah this is what i'm actually doing instead you know this was all a pr like rachel

you know she got coaching from pr teams and stuff you could tell by all the answers she gave they were very surface level to she's basically trying not to make the situation worse instead of providing any real actual yeah information so i can't blame her too much because she got that type of coaching even if the answers were very surface level and didn't give us a ton but i think that question in particular she should have had better coaching the thought of a better answer than just i could list this stuff but you wouldn't be interested in that i just have to show you it's and then it's like okay well at that i what do i do with that bro the thing that she should have done is say that she went and talked to the people

that she bullied in high school half of the reason that the whole racism thing is a problem for her, one, the photo, but like, it's not just that. There's like five or six people from her high school that were like, yeah, you bullied me for talking to black guys in high school. And like five other people corroborated that story. Number one thing you do, go talk to that person, apologize, have them like ream you out and like make their peace. That's the one thing you do

and then you move on you don't read a documentary you don't read a like those are good but like make a good on your mistakes in the past don't just like try to move on from you hurt people you like actually had a action that was negative and racist in the past yeah well and like i don't i don't what i said like how she answered it was a terrible answer i don't think you actually list out every single item but like like i said like go into some kind of detail no yeah give some effort with that answer just that line rubbed me like the worst possible way and it just took everything she said to me and i was saying before i was like all right shut the fuck up like you were this was all horseshit shout out though shut out someone coached her up taught her how to cry i saw real tears

i saw it too what happened i was like I was like, Rooks is actually going to know this. I saw real tears. It only took till filming and then what, like four months later or whatever the fuck it is in between like the finale and now. Was that when Emmanuel Acho asked the question or basically said, you might never see this man again. What would you like to tell him? And I was like, buddy. No, but how he went into that, there was so much more.

It was so good. No, yeah, he built it up. I forget what exactly he said, but it was like, this might be the last time you see him. This man that you apparently love and care for, he may never talk to you again. What are your feelings towards him?

Oh, and a reminder, this might be the last time you'd ever see him again and did i mention this might be the last time you ever see him again i'll hang up and listen it was so sick oh it was so great well then he also goes uh one last hug between you guys and they're both are just don't move it's like yeah of course and then she did the shoulder yeah thing and and I was like, bleh. But yeah, she's so garbage. I'm shocked. I'm genuinely like, after all this shit that's come out, all that shit that she said, she's obviously not working on herself and shit.

Matt kept saying, yeah, she's got to put this work in. I was like, this bitch isn't doing anything. But I'm shocked she even sat down with matt's brother alone dude i was like you know matt's brother walked in and she's like can one of the producers just stay in let's just stay in here for like five minutes like while we have this conversation please like this girl she's garbage she's so fucking garbage but i just like, I loved how hard Emmanuel Ochoa was digging into her. It was so, so good. And then at the end where it's like Matt's not saying shit to her, Matt's not looking at her.

That's where you can, I feel for Matt a little bit because you definitely tell he cared about Rachel. To what extent, we don't know. But you can definitely tell he cared about her the most you know obviously she was the last person picked but I think the fact that and whether it was editing or not I think the fact that they he had those just long moments of silence and the you know manual actually I breathe and just didn't really say anything I think you know it, I think, for him being the first Black Bachelor, then having the contestant he picks come out going to an antebellum party, then having to be like this spokesperson about social justice. I think he said what the quote was, most people

come on The Bachelor to find love. I had to come in and be these extra things, which maybe he should have known that when he was signing up for it and maybe that's just you know you have to kind of understand that given the current climate when that was probably happening which was last summer but you know i still feel i still feel for him in that moment of having all this come to a head and rachel just being there weirdly touching rubbing his shoulder his trap his large traps it's again it's the epitome of he didn't know what he was getting into which makes me think that he was just oh i can like go do this fucking tv show hell yeah i'm gonna do it and then

showing up you're like wait i'm actually playing like a big role kind of like culturally and also i have to get engaged at the end of this shit what the fuck like where's my agent like i just think he didn't know what the fuck he was getting himself into at all that's bad so tbd on their relationship but so it sounds like matt's pretty matt's pretty done uh well and i think i think i think he has to be i was seeing stuff all these dumb ass people online dude so many people like if he really loved her he would like forgive her for this stuff why is it his responsibility that's what i don't get like it's not his and i think he said this too it or implied it it you know i think it's not his responsibility to make sure that she does the correct thing to you know improve herself he

is not he did all he could he tried he stood by her when he thought they were rumors when she released the statement he came out and said all right, we're done. I'll try to help you as much as I can, but I can't babysit you. It's not his job. No. Yeah. Especially in 2021 now. We can't be doing this shit. Be more educated.

There's resources everywhere for this shit. But, yeah, there's just so much dumb shit online first off so many people saying saying oh if if he loved her like he would forgive her for all the shit like number one like most of these people don't understand what it is to be a black person most of these people saying this shit are white people. So number one, you have no fucking idea what he's talking about in the first place. But number two,

my biggest thing, the first conversation they had, she, one of the first things she brings up is, oh, I acknowledge color and love is love to me and all this other shit. And that's the first fucking thing she says to him and if i'm him i'm remembering that shit it if you hear that and then all this stuff comes out

you you have to look back on everything as fabrication like i would look back on everything she's ever said and be like you're full of shit like you're absolutely full of shit and like how do you you can't build on that yeah Your whole start of your relationship being a fucking lie, like, you can't build on that. Yeah. It's tough. And, like, people saying that he loves her so he has to forgive her thing is just so dumb. Because, like, his mom said, love isn't forever sometimes, and it changes. And it's based on your actions.

And, like, yes, it's based on your actions and like yes it's the past but all of that together like you said of her being fake and her literally bullying people and then like the antebellum photo and all that together just shows what your character is and like hey just because you love one person doesn't mean you can't find someone else and also fall in love with them too like it's not a soulmate situation and there's just like especially like with how deep this situation is like there's so much more like subtext to all of this than just service level what's happening there's so much deeper stuff that and this is something i probably wouldn't understand i don't understand because i'm not i'm not black but there's so much deep stuff probably going on in his head about this

shit that a lot of people that have shit to say will never understand. It's crazy, but I would love to say, thank God this fucking chapter is done. Holy fuck. This was a shit show. Give me a sound effect, Brian,

Brian, give me a sound effect. Celebrate it. I'm about to bust. Let's go, baby. And, you know especially why I'm about to bust?

We got two Bachelorettes announced. Katie and Michelle. And that's a heater. I'm cool with that. I want Michelle, even though I don't, her season probably won't be the most entertaining, but it'll be lovey-dovey. I think she'll make good decisions,

and then we'll have Katie's season, which will be fun as shit. We get Paradise in between them, or no, Katie's first, I think. Katie's first. Katie's first. We get Paradise in between, then we get Michelle.

It's looking, the future's looking good. Yeah, it's a good slate. And Tayshia and Kaitlyn Bristow are the two hosts for the next season as well. So Chris Harrison is out of here. Goodbye, Chris Harrison. Hopefully Emmanuel Acho is here for every fucking, I need him at the women tell all. I need him there. Or at the men tell all. Honestly, that'd be a good move.

I need him. I think they should just start I'm assuming Kalen Bristow and Tayshia it'll go over great they should just start bringing back former bachelor and bachelorette contestants to host the season like every new you know every new season you get a different contestant that was relatively well liked and it just it'll just add because Chris Harrison doesn't provide anything of interest. He comes on the show. He says two sentences about got to get some time with the Bachelor Bachelorette. We only got six weeks and then he leaves and then he leans on doors really awkwardly.

And they always try to think or say that he gives them advice, but like he doesn't do crap. Having someone who was actually on the show before, who went through the entire thing to be there and actually guide them through it, would actually help them and make the show better. Also, none of these fucking people are doing anything. As I said, you've heard me say it so many times, dude. Hashtag sponsored, hashtag ad. All these people are just doing

these fucking ads on Instagram and shit. They'd all love to come back, dude. Cleo came back four times for this shit, man. Like, none of these people are doing anything. I will. So I am interested. I think, Rooks, your point on Michelle's season, it'll be good.

It'll be probably pretty low-key, but it'll be very mature, is what I'll say. It'll be about the love, man. Exactly. It'll be like Tayshia's season again. I'll be about the love exactly it'll be like tasha's season again i'll be i'll be i'll be really interested about katie's season i think having caitlin and tasha will definitely help carry that it's just what we saw of katie on this season again maybe it was matt and him just being dry and and dull but i'll be interested to see how she acts as the bachelorette um if she

just ends up friend zoning all the guys like she did matt or if uh if she's able to to lock one down so did she friend zone matt or did matt friend zone her i feel like she was into him i think she was i know him i yeah i don't know yeah i think it'll be good because i think she has a lot of personality and i think that will carry the series and the thing that i i like about maybe probably katie more than michelle i think if dudes are on there being like shitty or like they're full of shit i think katie will like yeet them out immediately and be able to like see that shit and get them the fuck out which we love that it'll be great but give me bachelor in paradise though i need i need some more that slop dump that slop down my throat

bachelor in paradise is the fucking oh god i can't wait to talk about that shit on here i'm so excited i've never watched a season. I still don't understand how it works. Burn your in for a fucking treat. Basically, how people get voted off is if they don't have dates or if they haven't banged anybody in the past 24 hours. It's how you get voted off the island, basically. Literally, they start with six. It's like six and six people, right?

Six boys, six girls. So everyone starts vibing, whatever, whatever. People always fucking make out the first day at the end of the first day they'll bring a new person on and then that person will talk to people so that'll leave like a new boy or new girl will come and then that'll leave one person out to dry because everyone couples up so like they do that each week yeah and then sometimes some weeks they bring like four people on and shit like it's it's the wild west there's no like it's fucking when does it end what happens at the end is it's like all right uh go home well so towards the end more like i bet it depends on

the season but most of the time like people will be like a lot of times people will send themselves home be like i don't see myself finding a relationship here or other people will get kind of like broken up with on the island and they'll want to leave because they don't want to see the person they were talking to hooking up with other people type shit. I'm telling you, it's the Wild West. There's no rules. People come, people go. And then at the end

it's just, typically at the end I'd say it's like two to five couples. I don't know. Every season it's different and that's what I love about it. It's to five couples. I don't know. Every season it's different and that's what I love about it. It's such a mess. It's great. It's such a good change of pace from the show. It's so good.

Two last random bullcrap Bachelor things to say. One, I found out Abigail's Korean. Let's go, dude! That's my boy! I had no clue and then I was like staring at her face a lot I was like okay I guess I can see it she's adopted

which I didn't know about for the viewers your boy I don't just refer to myself as Korean beef because I like bulgogi you know what I'm saying I'm a quarter Korean shout out Heesoo my grandmother shout out North Korea.

No. You ever had the Costco bulgogi? Is that any good? I've never had bulgogi from Costco. That sounds terrifying. Okay, never mind. Next question. Don't buy it in bulk.

The next thing I found out, my mom watched this entire season during quarantine. No, we can't get her on the pod. Well, I know. She found out about the podcast today too, and I was like, great. So my sister's like, yeah, mom, send in your thoughts. I was like, alright, so next week we might have Miss Mayberry's thoughts in the season. For a little context, everybody,

Byrne's mother is the sweetest lady I've ever met in my life. She's known me since I was a little wee lad. And now I'm terrified of her listening because she's going to hear me say things like soggy, uggy, and all this other bullshit. And I'm going to see her again, and she's going to just not even look at me in the eyes. She's going to be like, what the hell happened to you?

Oh, it's great. I really hope she won't listen, but I really want to hear her thoughts. She was a big Michelle fan, so she's in for a good treat. Hey, we got another guest for that season, then. Hey. Oh, that's true. Let's officially

close that book. Matt's season's over. Good fucking riddance. So we got our boy Zaddy on here, and Zaddy, big, big Chicago boy-o. Big Bears fan. Zach, I heard we have some venting that needs to happen. Yeah, we have some breaking news as of today,

March 16th, 2021, the year of our Lord. The Bears have decided to sign Andy Dalton, former quarterback of the Cowboys, former quarterback of the Bengals. You may know him as the Red Rifle. Shout out TCU Horned Frogs. This team has, throughout my entire life, this team has just continued to let me down.

I looked at the amount of quarterbacks we have had and how terrible they have been. And the list, I could throw out Jonathan Quinn, Craig Krenzel, Chad Hutchinson. We had Cordell Stewart for a hot minute. That didn't go over too well. Don't fucking disrespect my man's Rex Grossman like that, dude. Rex Grossman. I mean, my guy. He could not hold on he could not

hold on to the football to save his life so the bears in their infinite wisdom decided that we needed not one because we have nick foals under contract contract shout out bdn we also needed another journeyman quarterback so we're gonna go ahead and sign andy dalton mind you the fact that we could have had andy dal last year for $3 million. Instead, we signed him this year for $10 million. And then we wouldn't have had to give up a fourth round pick to sign Nick Foles or to trade for Nick Foles. So I have no idea what the Bears are doing. Fun fact, the Bears are the only team in the NFL to not have a quarterback throw for 4,000 yards in the season. They're also, fun fact, their top two receivers of all time are Walter Payton and Matt Forte.

For those listeners who don't know, they play the running back position, whose primary responsibility is to run the ball, not to catch it. Oh, that's insane. So I have no idea what the Bears team is doing. We franchise tag Allen Robinson. That man is going to have Andy Dalton throwing him the ball. Yeah. I would not.

I'm so sorry, brother. Yeah. I would not be mad if he held out. I just, I don't know what Matt Nagy, the coach, and Ryan Pace, the GM, are doing. It's going to be another tough year. I'm hoping for a 2-14 season, something like that, 3-12. Yeah, tank it up, man. Tank it up.

But that's been the Bears' couple minutes here. I just wanted to vent a little bit. But with that being said, Super Bears, Super Bowl. They supposedly were going after Russell Wilson really hard. That was all the reports today. But that's like, that would have worked for them. The bears are like the guy, the bears are the equivalent to the guy at the bar at 2 a.m., 2.30 a.m.

Lights are coming on slowly. You are scanning the room hard for a, for a lady who wants to, who wants to come home with you. And they are begging. There's, Russell Wilson's the equivalent to, you know,

they're like, please, like the nine out of 10 in the room. They're like, please come home with me. And we settled for Andy Dalton. And I'll let you make your comparisons to what andy dalton is equivalent to at a bar but it's not a nine out of ten and i you know i i leave myself open for hope every year that we'll get a competent quarterback i long for the days of jay cutler

which should be saying something shout out to my guy guy, Smokin' J. What a frat god, dude. Dude, I love J. Cutler. Smokin' J, man. He just doesn't care. All-time quote on his reality show with Kristen Cavallari. All-time quote that I will forever love and I want tattooed on my body. He just said, I give more byes than highs. And I'm like, my guy. Frat god.

Dude, I can't believe, like kristen cavallari dude imagine your entire life from age like 15 until you're like 30 being on television like she was in the you guys ever watched laguna beach like she was on laguna beach she was she was like mexico like filmed her making out with people like blacked out in mexico in high school like and then she was on she was on the hills i think too right she was russell wilson she's russell wilson in my example and the bears did not end up with it dude but they got andy dalton i i always jokingly call andy dalton the ginger stallion and i said that at like this i think it was this past thanksgiving i said that in front of

my uncle and my uncle in his mother's house which like there's no cussing in that house he turned it and he's just the fuck did you just say it's like dude he's a ginger stallion he's like who calls in that it's like everybody man i love it oh yeah yeah your organization's uh hopeless so have fun i just i don't i don't understand the logic in that in in the slightest man oh my goodness yeah so we got two journeymen quarter i don't know who's gonna start i assume andy dalton's gonna start but i mean i at this point i don't know why you didn't bring back mitch trubisky because i don't know what mitch trubisky can do that they had a side-by-side comparison on ESPN today, and they literally had the exact same stats. And I'm like,

okay. So we, we did not upgrade. We paid $10 million for one year of, I should get an Andy Dalton Jersey though. Think of how great that would be just in my, you know, one year gone.

I give it to my kids when they're like, dad, who's this Dalton guy? It's like, son, let me sit down and tell you a tale. If you throw for 4,000 yards, you have to get one he's

thrown for he's thrown for 4 000 yards i think twice with the bangle so he would already be so there's hope but when i saw that yeah so that's where we are mad his orange hair matches the orange in the bears uniforms it's all about we got going for us right now dude there's been so many so many moves to that patriots man they're interesting patriots going outside of what the patriots typically do the patriots typically they went in the draft room and then they pick up free agents that nobody wants and they show up and start hooping yeah but they said eff it we're picking up what, six or eight people? All that just had a very, very good season? Shit's crazy.

Their offense this year is going to be sneaky good. They picked up Hunter Henry at tight end and Johnny Smith at tight end. Both studs in the NFL today, too. They are both insanely good. Then you have Cam Newton at QB and they're looking at Chris Carson or Leonard Fournette at running back. You're going to have the best power O

in the entire league. And you're just going to run it down people's throats and then run seam routes to tight ends. And people are not going to be able to scheme against that. They're going to have to be running like three big fat linebackers to stop the running game with Cam Newton and Leonard Fournette. But they're going to have to be also fast linebackers too to actually be able to cover the tight ends. I think Bill Belichick's actually going to be able to get some wins this year, unlike last year.

I want to say that he will. I just, I think, shout out Ryan Hickey. I think Ryan Hickey was Worldwide Sports Radio Network. There it is. There it is. But he was posting all this stuff about, or like retweeting all these things today about how this isn't the Patriot way.

And I'm a true believer in that. And I think, especially a lot of these dudes, I mean, like Hunter Henry, when's the last time that guy's played a full season? Hunter Henry goes down every year for like half the year. Like all these, I don't think any of these guys being picked up have had more than one or two good seasons. But that's what Bill Belichick does. So that is the Bill belichick way oh bill belichick picks up dudes he picks up dudes at like the end of their career that nobody wants anymore and then turns them into like super bowl caliber caliber they haven't even they haven't even drafted well either

like i remember their their draft you know recently recently hasn't been great and it's been basically that's why like tom brady's been like yo can i get anything i mean they've been like you know they've signed Randy Moss, Antonio Brown. I think like Garrett Blunt, they brought in. They didn't draft him. From the Steelers. Yeah, they've brought in, I think more, to Brian's point, more free agents. Will these free agents pan out?

Maybe. And if it does, Bill Belichick looks like a genius. If they don't, they wasted a... It's a home run swing with how much money they spent today yeah i mean they had all the money though it's not like they are like moving salary cap from next year to this year just to go for it like they had no one on their team so like they just had the money to spend they're just filling in their spots it's just they're all doing it all at once like dude another one they pick up is freaking

agalor man and like agalor came off a good season like i'm agalor is one of my fantasy guys that stepped up for me in a hoop towards the end of the season kept me in it but do i want nelson agalor being the number one on my fucking nfl football team absolutely not they have no worry about that they picked up uh kendrick the born identity too shout out my boys um but yeah that's that's the receiving core it's kendrick born and nelson aguilar pretty much yeah that's my only complaint is their receiving court sucks and they need to fill something in there they just need one if you're running power with two tight ends and a running back you need one good wide receiver yeah but they don't have that You're going to have to run the shit out of football.

I don't know. Do they have more salary cap left, or do they just fill it all today? We'll fucking find out. I didn't look into it. I was just so shook by all the numbers I was seeing and everything. Because Kenny Galladay is still out there, and he's a stud. And if they could go after him, that would be a huge... If you get Kenny Galladay on that offense, that offense is like top 12, at least in the league.

Top third. Shout out Northern Illinois. Go Huskies. What a random shout out. I don't think anyone, I don't think people that went to Northern Illinois have ever shouted out Northern Illinois. Well, you're saying my, you're saying Mama Kirshner does, who went to Northern Illinois is not shout, is not shout out Northern Illinois and DeKalb? 100%. You're probably right.

You're probably right. 100%. But anyway, Burn, you said we got a little call in. Oh, we do. It's from the great state of New Jersey. Here we go. God damn it. Hey, guys.

It's Denise, number one fan, calling in again. This time, it's about the great jelly debate from last week's episode. I just wanted to say I myself am a grape lover. Strawberries by themselves are disgusting, so strawberries in jelly form are just repulsive. That's besides the point. The real question that I'm disappointed that you didn't touch on is Skippy or Jif. Because you can tell a lot by a person by the brand of peanut butter that they choose for their sandwich. It can really give you some good information about

your friends. So looking forward to hearing your thoughts on that. Keep doing what you're doing. Easy, easy question. Hold on. Let's say it on three. So Brian, count us in and we'll say our answer, okay? I think I know what Zach's going to say because Corey and me talked about it. Then it's going to be like some off-the-wall bullcrap answer. But yeah, you're going to go three, two, one, and then say your thing. All right? Three, two, one.

Jiffy. Oh, God. All right. Everybody, welcome to Rooks' tier list of the week. So in S tier, we got Jif peanut butter. Jif is great. It's fantastic. Even the natural Jif that I eat, bangers.

Natural, not bad. Now we're going to go. So it goes S A B C D E F tier is the bottom we're going fucking below I'm putting Skippy literally below F tier boo

when Burn posts my tier list of the week I don't even want to see Skippy on it we're gonna okay I want an honorable mention to Skippy for

Skippy for participating and that's it okay dude is that a midwestern thing you gotta defend yourself come on so the first thing i'm gonna are we gonna let's talk about the packaging jif looks like it was found in the back of my grandma's like dusty old cabinet skippy you walk in has a nice bright blue lid the label the my grandma's dusty old cabinet. Skippy, you walk in, has that nice bright blue lid. The label, the peanut butter's coming in waves. Jif, I don't even know what I'm buying with Jif. It just says Jif on the front.

How am I supposed to know if it's peanut butter inside? Skippy has the nice waves of peanut butter. I feel like I can, you know, I'm Kelly Slater surfing on those creamy waves, getting it all in my nooks and crannies, putting it on my English muffin. Zach just said, surfing on those creamy waves and putting it all in my... Lord have mercy, I'm about to bust.

And putting it all in my nooks and crannies. Chat, clip that. Ugh. Yes. I'm keeping that one forever. Icky. Ugh. But yeah, so you're taking

Skippy over Jif like easy yeah easy easy have you had jif yeah i've had it once and then i realized how bad it was no zach's never had it zach just said he saw he sees these jars in the grocery store in the peanut butter aisle and he's like what the fuck is that i don't i don't even know what it is. I'm not spending my money on that. The marketing is designed to appeal to someone like me who eats fruit snacks on a regular basis. So the brighter the colors, the more likely I am to buy it. So Skippy

has got my eye lasered in on their product. You know Jif is like a clear bottle too. So you can see that it's peanut butter. Like you know what it is. It's right next to Skippy. You know it's the same aisle. You, what's going in it. But you know, sometimes when you know, you're, you're in a class and you get, you see the A plus on your paper, you get back, but then the person next to you also gets an A plus and they get a little sticker on it too.

You're like, oh, I would like that reassurance that I'm also worthy of a sticker. That's what I need to have my peanut butter. I sure I can see the peanut butter, but I also want to see it on the packaging. Again, give me those creamy waves just flowing down as I cascade into the land that is of Jellyville. I need the Skippy to kind of lead me there.

So fucking off on that fucking analogy. So fucking off. Skippy is like getting a C on a test and a blue star. Jif, you don't get a star because the teacher's like, you don't deserve this because you're already getting an A.

You don't need any extra encouragement. All the extra packaging and colors on the outside is because the peanut butter's garbage on the inside. They need to make up for it in some way. I got the money comparison. So, Jif jif is the the typical call four-year college experience it's fun it's it's full of knowledge and great things not too much flash skippy is my college run it's fucking six years of having a math we oh we got this cool logo so much fun but we suck on the inside we can't get anything done we're fucking

we're a waste of space here i've got the ultimate argument and this just just proves how old and crusty you guys are. Do you know what the tagline for Skippy is? Please buy our stuff. It is fuel the fun, and I like to have fun. It sounds like you guys don't like to have fun, and I like to have a lot of fun, so in order to do that, I need fuel to fuel

the fun. Hence is why I choose Skippy. You know what Jif's tagline slash slogan is? That Jif and good. fuel the fun hence is why i choose skippy you know what jif's tagline slash slogan is that skippy that jiffing good what kind of crackheads are working at the marketing facility at jiff i'm sorry instead of instead of using fucking i'm gonna start saying jiffing dude that's fucking damn it that's jiffing tight dude that's so that's fucking jiffing you just be jiffing those the fuck i don't know what i'm fucking saying right now what are you guys's thoughts on peter pan branded trash trash really that was always that was always the shit that was always the shit in like lunch rooms so i was always like even the giant broke boy

shit dude that's that fucking broke boy stuff. I have a special place in my heart for it because my mom always had a giant tub of it because that's what she used to like cook with. So any like peanut butter cookies were made with Peter Pan. So I'm kind of a fan. When you said that, I thought you meant just like, yeah, my mom was just throwing fucking peanut butter in a fucking skillet on medium high. You know, just a little bit of olive oil. It sounds pretty good to me. Some fried peanut butter. Deep fried peanut butter?

You'd find that at a fair? That's a Chicago thing. Tell us about it, Zach. You've had it before. What? Fried peanut butter? Deep fried peanut butter. It has to be a Chicago thing.

I don't live in the boonies of Iowa. I live in a metropolitan area. Deep fried peanut butter sounds so... My mouth can't move just at the thought of having that in my mouth. They have deep fried butter at state fairs and stuff. Just literally sticks of butter. So they have to do peanut butter. It's the same game, sort of.

Goodness. I just want to be on the clear that you guys are jiffing. You guys be jiffing peanut butter and I be surfing those creamy waves. You get this for the record Zach gets those creamy waves in his nook and crannies. Oh what a bad

line. That's the thing you put it on your Thomas's English muffin that says their slogan is like gets all and has all those good nooks and crannies. What did you think I was talking about something else? Oh Zach you're a cute kid. Logan is like gets all and has all those good nooks and crannies. Would you think I was talking about something else? Oh, Zach, you're a cute kid,

but now Zach, you're you're it's your time to shine brother. We got, we got a draft here. That's right. That's right. Yeah. I'm going to need the sounder for when the pick is in a little jingle.

I don't have the, I don't have it. If you had loaded up with the first pick, I'm going to need the sounder for when the pick is in, the little jingle. I don't have it. Dude, if you had Roger Duterte loaded up with the first pick. We'll do more drafts and I'll have them ready for us. Okay. All right. So it was, I think a couple, last Monday maybe, it was National Cereal Day. And I think cereal is a, in general, is a pretty underrated food item. You can have it for breakfast. You can haverated food item. You can have it for breakfast.

You can have it for dinner. You can have it for dessert. I think it's good off all meals of the day. Zach, would you consider yourself a connoisseur of cereal? Oh, yeah. I'm like a sommelier of cereal. I can tell you what cereals pair well with what. What cereals you should have in the morning versus what you should have at dessert.

When the specialty cereals come out, I'm first in line. I like to try them all. Cereal is delicious. And for those psychos, a.k.a. that live in California who like their cereals without milk. Calling you out. Calling you out. And we don't appreciate your kind around here.

We do not that is so anyway so in order to celebrate national cereal day a week or a week later so we're going to be drafting our favorite cereals so there's going to be five or five categories i should say five rounds uh each of us will get one sugary cereal, one chocolate cereal, one healthy cereal, one underrated cereal, and then one bad cereal. A cereal you think that is just absolutely terrible. I will say I did the draft order randomly right now, and the order goes Brian, myself, Rooks, and then we're going to snake back. So Rooks will get back-to-back picks. You do not have to pick. You can pick any category you want. I will say, though,

we can discuss in the group if a pick doesn't fall under a certain realm. A certain category. We can referee it. We can referee it. I trust our judgment. Okay.

The first pick is in. So with that. The first pick is in. All right. Here you go. Dun, dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun, dun. Cinnamon Toast Crunch, number one. Sugary.

Easy. Easiest pick in the world. Asshole. Thank you so much for the first pick. Jerk. I want to thank the Academy and my coaches and God. You guys are up. All right, Zach.

I mean, that's the obvious pick. That's the obvious pick. That's why I knew that was going first. Yeah, that's first overall for sure. Top tier milk when you're done drinking it. You can power through. Great little chef guy on the front. I feel like he doesn't get enough love with the guy cooking up the cinnamon toast crunch in that

little oven. Sometimes I feel like that's a good Halloween costume option if you're running low. just be a little cinnamon toast chef only negative destroys the top of your mouth okay this is what i don't get do you not know how to eat food do people not know how to eat cereal like are you just gumming it the whole time down are you just only using your tongue in the roof of your mouth what do you mean because you get a bite so big that it's just on like both sides of your teeth and then in the center. So it's just kind of hitting everything. There's very few cereals that if you just let it sit in the milk for a minute that are still going to rip your mouth to shreds, dude. You need to let it sit.

You need... No, it's like soggy cereal. It's like Kevin's Chili. Everyone's going to get to know each other in the pot, dude. You get like a 30 second to a minute and 30 second timeline of when you need to eat cereal otherwise it's completely stale and you're destroying your mouth aka kristen you're a psychopath or a minute 30 and it's just soggy and nonsense and just like you're eating mush it's not worth it small window

who's calling a cap on this but it's fine it's cool all right i'm next so with the second overall pick i'm gonna go to the chocolate category because i think that is the least deep category i'm gonna go with reese's puffs of course i think it's it's the only good candy branded cereal um there have been a couple others that have just been absolutely terrible, which I might draft later in my bad category. But Reese's Puffs. Okay, I won't mention it then. Yeah, no giving away picks. But Reese's Puffs are great.

Great milk at the end. They have enough peanut butter that, you know, the peanut butter chocolate mix is obviously a goat combination. It's better than, like, you know, some of the other just strictly peanut butter mix. You need that chocolate to kind of cut through it. Exactly. And it's, it seems healthier than candy, even though it clearly is not. It's probably worse for you. Then you should probably just eat two Reese's cups and it's probably healthier for you. They need like a fat bowl of Reese's cups. It's got some like zinc in it for some reason. It's got some vitamins and minerals. Yeah. But no, fully agree. Having it be, it's better than, I'll say Cocoa. I'm not going to

choose this, but I'm saying Cocoa Puffs as a comparison because like not cocoa puffs what's just the round chocolate one is that cocoa puffs cuckoo for cracko puffs dude yeah okay but because like there's a it's not just straight chocolate there's actually peanut butter in there too so yeah it's great number one chocolate pick for sure all right up to up to me now you get back-to-back picks buddy all right i do so i do i do i've been thinking about the chocolate category and i agree there's up to me now? You get back-to-back picks, buddy. Alright, I do. So, I do. I've been thinking about the chocolate category and I agree. There's not too many good

things. So, I'm going to roll my first pick just to knock another one out of chocolate. I'm going just Cocoa Puffs. I'm going Cocoa Puffs. It's basic. The Cocoa Puffs are basic. The milk at the end is my selling point the milk at the end of cocoa puffs because like with reese's puffs i i don't like chocolate

peanut butter milk as much as i like just like i'm like the chocolate milk after cocoa puffs is like that's that that's that penn state creamery chocolate milk like it is bangers i'm giving my first kick to coco puffs lock it up what are your thoughts on again the problematic mascot that seems to be addicted to the coco puffs to a extreme level hey man i've i've been there hey i used to be a little chunky boy all right when I was in first grade my parents signed me up for wrestling wrestling is based on weight classes I was wrestling 5th graders I was a thick boy

you know what this thick boy was fueled by? Cocoa Puffs and Oreos that's it would you say it fueled your fun? I'm just going to act like that never happened I was fueled on Cocoa Puffs some would say I was cuck fueled on Cocoa Puffs. Some would say I was cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs at the time.

Oh, okay. I get it. All right. I think I have to go sugary next. I know what's coming. What's the fruity Captain Crunch captain you just like captain crunch berries straight captain crunch berries because if it's just straight captain crunch it's only captain crunch it doesn't have the band yeah yeah i'm going captain crunch i'm a huge huge fan of

captain crunch berries there's another one i was thinking of but like and it's gonna give it away i don't like like marshmallow cereal as much. Really? That's what I thought was coming. I was thinking Lucky Charms, but my thing is the fat kid at heart. It's literally like, you ever seen like the little baby crunchies? They're like little babies eat that. It's just like plain cereal.

That's what the entire bowl is in marshmallows. Like it's literally just like, yeah, eat this shit that doesn't taste like anything but there's marshmallows in there so i'm i'm i'm i'm going for something all around crunch berries are heaters like there's there's no downsides to crunch berries i've lived with you so long I've seen you eat so many bowls of Lucky Charms. I've never seen you eat Captain Crunch Berries. Not once. I will say, Crunch Berries for me was kind of my jam in that fifth and sixth year of school. You know, after you had graduated like you were supposed to in four years. Fifth and sixth year, your boy had some Crunch Berries.

And I really started realizing it's one of my faves i think it brings everything to the table love the texture we got some fruit thrown in there the non-fruit ones don't taste like baby food i'm a fan i will say the the crunch berry that yeah i agree that was my that was number two under my sugary uh section so great pick right there i think captain crunch captain Berries is the perfect mixture of the two extremes, of just regular Captain Crunch and then the crazy move, which was the

Oops All Berries. I don't know who's buying the Oops All Berries version. You crazy, Captain Crunch. How did that happen in the factory? You let that get out, all those berries. They did the same shit with Lucky Charms where there was something that was just marshmallows. I was like, bro, why are you getting just marshmallows

and milk? This is not cereal. This doesn't count. Yeah, at that point, it is just straight candy. That's ridiculous. Alright, I think it's Bryguy's turn, right? No, it's back to me because we're snaking back. Oh, Burn was first. That's right. Alright, so since you both picked your sugary, I'm going to leave that to the end.

Being a smart drafter here. I think I'm going to go with a healthy route and I'm going to go with Honey Nut Cheerios. Yeah. I had some today. So the reason, again, I'm fully here to admit that the honey on the Honey Nut Cheerios probably makes them very unhealthy with the amount of sugar I probably added. But the marketing team at Big Cereal has pushed the fact that they will literally cure any heart disease you have. They are just like, yeah, that little bee might as well. I think he is wearing a stethoscope in some of the box images.

Like he's, you know, just eat a box a day. No cancer, no heart disease you know strong bones uh you know you'll get big it's basically steroids um so while it may not be the healthiest i think it's marketed enough as a honey as a healthy cereal enough for me to take it so i will take honey nut cheerios have you guys had like plain regular cheerios lately well they're so bad. They're horrendously bad. For Honey Nut Cheerios to be pretty good, and then the regular ones

to just be straight cardboard is impressive on how good that coating is. They're the same thing as the rest of Lucky Charms. It's not marshmallows. These are little pieces of cereal. That's all this is. There's no flavoring

the lucky charms ones at least have like some powdered sugar thrown on them from like the dust from the marshmallows the like regular cheerios have dust from themselves so it's just like solid chunks of sawdust with little bits of sawdust on top it's just disgusting i i would i yeah i definitely could say i'd definitely throw that in a healthy category dude like 2006 to 2010 every every cheerios commercial was like this shit will literally get your heart to 100 oh you're having a fucking heart attack? Eat goddamn Cheerios. Come back to life, brother. Cured. Okay, I didn't say all that, but... Alright, it's...

Is that a... Brian's turn. He's got back-to-back picks now. Oh, God, I'm fucking stupid. Sorry. So I have a question. On the terrible category, are we supposed to be picking

the worst of the worst, and that means we're drafting good if we picked the worst? It has to be like, yeah. Yeah. Since we sort of mentioned it earlier, I don't want to get stolen. I had a different one. I'll tell you my backup one. I had Fruit Loops because I freaking hate Fruit Loops.

Because like, why does it need to be fruit flavored? I'm sugar, I'm chocolate, and I'm peanut butter. I don't need like strawberryavored pieces of sawdust. It makes no sense. Fruit-flavored, like, it just doesn't work. But sort of in the same vein, we're talking about, like, other branded cereals that aren't really cereal, but they're based on other things. Have you guys seen the Sour Patch Kids cereal? Oh.

God, that was on my list. God darn it. I knew that was going to come, so I needed to get it first. I haven't had it. I will never have it because it's probably Fruit Loops with a little bit of sour on top. Who wants to drink sour milk afterward? Literally sour milk. Probably the worst experience you could possibly have.

The more you say sour milk, the more uncomfy I'm becoming. Yeah. So, Sour Patch Kids on the board. Yeah, that's a great pick. I can't believe that exists. Holy fuck. I don't know why you would do it. But, biggest Sour Patch Kids fan ever over here.

Love the candy. But put that in a different form, not freaking worth it. Back-to-back picks, though. My underrated, you guys aren't gonna know, so I'm saving that for last because it's also my favorite cereal ever.

I'm gonna end on a really good note. That's what we call a tease, ladies and gentlemen. I have a question. Do you count Frosted Mini Wheats as healthy? Yes. Yeah, I'll allow it. Half of it's not healthy. It's half healthy. I'm going healthy frosted mini wheats.

Just like Cheerios, the regular mini wheats are disgusting. It's like eating hay. It's like little grass clippings in a box, but you throw a little bit of sugar crack on top. They're freaking good. I had them for the first time in college because people will give these a lot of crap and I tried every cereal that was

possibly on the shelf throughout college. They're freaking good. On the board. Healthy number two. Alright. I... I'm going to go with my bad here. Just regular Rice Krispies.

When you have to take a cereal and add marshmallows and other sugar and bake it to make it taste good, and when the actual company is like, we'll actually sell that separately, and it probably makes more money than selling the actual box cereal, you objectively have a terrible cereal. Also, the three mascots, Stink, Snap, Crackle, and Pop, trash mascots. If your cereal's selling point,

this item that we are going to enjoy it because we are going to consume it, if your selling point is the noise it fucking makes in the bowl, it's not good. If that's your selling point in the commercials they never once say this is good cereal they're just like it fucking yells at you when you put it in the bowl we got a jazz band fucking quartet in there just making music for you

for 30 seconds by our pop rocks come on Pop Rocks all-time greatest candy? Pop Rocks don't taste like balls. They kind of do, man. If you asked me to describe the flavor of Rice Krispies, I literally couldn't describe the flavor. There's no answer. There's no answer. The flavor is I was going to say

Styrofoam, but I think that's insulting Styrofoam. Honestly. It's fair. At least you got some milk to put it in. It tastes a little bit like milk. It's true. That's my bad cereal. Rook's back-to-back picks. I'm going to go... I don't think anybody's going to say my

underrated because it's a little out there. You guys both did healthy. Well, I get two in a row anyway. My healthy? I'm going get two in a row anyway. My healthy, I'm going to go cinnamon life, man. Oh, man. You stink, man.

That was my backup. I've been eating that so much, it's good. Cinnamon life is a heater. It's the same thing as regular life cereal. It's fine. It's okay. But cinnamon, it's like where we just throw sugar and flavor on that shit hell yeah and they still they still advertise cinnamon life as one of the healthier cereals they do i'm gonna take it i'm gonna take it and run with it i love the choice it was my backup

i'm all on board big shout out to uh to papa kirschner uh who would sometimes eat life cereal with water instead of milk. That's worse than Kristen. No, you need to introduce. I want to hear them to talk cereal. Let's get them on the pod. Let's have them talk about it. He also would dunk his cookies into water, too, if we didn't have milk. So he's a strange character.

Does he have teeth? Big teeth guy. Full set. Fun fact, he actually still has one of his have teeth big big teeth guy full set fun fact he actually still has one of his baby teeth uh that never fell out fun fact i have two baby teeth that haven't fallen out oh this is in the competition brian bro when i when and this i don't remember it exactly this could have just been me having terrible dental hygiene as a young child and my in my first grade class anytime someone lost tooth, we told the teacher and they put like a little like sticker type thing on the board.

I think when I was in first grade, I lost like 16 or 18 teeth or something like that. Like they were just – dude. Got a shark's mouth out here. Well, it was just the second I would feel one loose, I'm literally just like jamming my hand into my mouth. She's like, like, and so I literally, the board,

it's like every single name have like two or three stickers at the end of the year. Mine had fucking 16 of them. And everyone was just like, all the little, like dumb little kids. Like, how do you lose your

teeth so quickly it's like i don't fucking know man i just i just don't brush them you know what i'm saying like i eat sugary shit and i don't brush them i'm like i'm a genius but i'm going so next pick i'm gonna go with bad cereal and i don't know how y'all feel about this i'm putting fucking cookie crisp, dude. Cookie crisp. If you're going to take something as classic and delicious as chocolate chip cookies, put it in milk, which is supposed to enhance the flavor. It better be fucking good. And it's not.

Cookie crisp is such, it's lazy. It's just lazy. They said, we're're gonna take this dessert that nationally gets paired with milk we're gonna put it all together but the cookies aren't gonna fucking taste good the one of my biggest things i hate is chips ahoy the the blue bag though where they're like you bite it and it just crumbles to pieces let's apply the crumbliness of that by 50 and that's cookie crisp another bad cereal another bad cereal chips ahoy his version of of cookie crisp also terrible i didn't know that existed i i want to

change my answer because that sounds awful i feel like they're not bad they're more underwhelming because you expect them to be great and they're just like hella average it's just the idea of like we put we turn cookies into fucking cereal yeah and then it's just like this literally tastes like dick like this doesn't taste that good well they have all those they have all those tiktoks now of you to actually taking cookie dough like little squares cutting them into smaller squares rolling them up and then baking them and then making your actual actual cookie crisp which looks delicious and if and if they can do it it's i know it's harder and i agree with you 100 i think cookie crisp is is objectively trash another kind of problematic mascot wolf animal who's just

kind of horny for cookie crisp and just always wants it go cookie crisp or some shit right yeah fuck that spot on fucking creep dude oh all right that's my that's my bad cereal son i think i just have underrated left yeah i'm gonna go underrated um now i'm gonna go with golden grams do you agree yeah are you serious yeah oh 100 i think i was like no one's going to fucking say Golden Grahams. Fuck, now I have to think, you dick. Dude, Golden Grahams are, I think Golden Grahams are just underappreciated cinnamon toast crunch. They have the same kind of qualities. They have the same square shape. It's not cinnamon, obviously.

It's not cinnamon sugar, but it's graham cracker. So you kind of get that same, I feel like sort of similar kind of vibe. They got kind of like a honey coating on the outside um it's it's just delicious i think it gets it has a nice yellow box nice presentation you can see right it was in the front golden graham sounds like golden girls shout out my girl betty white still alive and breathing um i just i just think it's under i think it's just underappreciated because it gets overshadowed by some of the you know the other you know square shaped cereal that we've mentioned already i it's underappreciated because it gets overshadowed by some of the other square-shaped cereal that we've mentioned already. It's a good choice.

I am so upset with you for picking fucking gold. I was like, never in a million years was someone going to say golden grams. Back in the day, I used to hang out at my buddy's place, light up a little horticulture, if you know what i'm saying wink wink uh but he had these big he had these big ass bowls that you could fit like almost a full box of cereal into and you know we would do our thing and then all i all i would want to do is fucking eat and his mom like it was always golden grams and like frosted flakes so i was like i'm fucking taking the golden grams and i'd sit there and just fucking eat golden grams for like two and a half hours at a time like every other day when i was there it was it was choice great childhood alright I'm up I'm on the end I get two in a row I'm gonna go

with the last chocolate pick have you guys had crave cereal before I actually haven't it's pretty good like we were saying the chocolate category is just not deep at all and I don't like what's the fruity pebblesbbles, Cocoa Pebbles?

Yeah, Cocoa Pebbles. Is that the chocolate version of it? They're very underwhelming. Yeah. The chocolate milk at the end is good, but it's just like, it's just freaking little flecks of stuff. The chocolate milk at the end, it's not as good as Cocoa Puffs though. It's not.

Oh, I agree. But Chocolate Crave, it's like, sort of like Chex, but then there's a little like actually chocolate in the center. It's solid. I'm not happy about that pick, but it's my worst pick of the day so far, so whatever. It's going on the board. My last pick, though, underrated.

It only existed for a short amount of time, but I had it every day while it was out, was the Scooby-Doo cereal. It was Lucky Charms, but covered in cinnamon. So combined Lucky Charms and Cinnamon Toast Crunch together, it was so freaking good. So the marshmallows were just marshmallows, but the cereal itself was covered in Cinnamon Toast Crunch stuff. Such a good combo, dude.

That thing I've been trying to find for the rest of my life i had in like fifth grade for like a solid six months and my life's never been the same okay i when you said this was sixth grade it was only out for like a few like or not too long i think it's like sixth grade i think it was like a year or two. I don't remember it like after that. I don't even remember that shit. That sounds banging though. Yeah. It's so good. Yeah.

I'll try to find it. Send you guys a clip. All right. I think to round up my draft board here, I think this is, I think this is a first round talent that I'm getting here in the, in the fifth round. I think you can start for me.

You know, maybe stretch the field a little bit on third down. I'm going to go with fruity pebbles for my sugary cereal. So I know he talks about, I know. So hear me out. Hear me out. It wasn't my first choice of sugary.

I do agree that the consistency after it sits in the milk too long is not ideal. However, I do think that if you proportion it correctly, you get a kind of good, like good sludge um that you can kind of uh shovel into your mouth um i don't think the milk is terrible either afterwards i think it's a it's a it's a decent mix i think it's better than um you know cocoa pebbles uh again the box

the big red box got you know my my boy fred on there my boy barney um you know them probably just got done hanging out with you know the flintstones yeah fruity pellets has like foot bro i got so lost first i was like first fred i was thinking scooby-doo and then it was barney like the big dinosaur i was like what mascot is the cereal again i was all your favorite childhood people and just threw them in a cereal together pretty much pretty much so again not again not my um ideal it's your final pick sugary seal but it's my final pick so i think i think you can play for me maybe start on special teams a little bit and then work his way up into the into the starting lineup you're talking about fruity pebbles as a possible first round talent

you are you are reaching my friend as a cereal connoisseur i think you are reaching so what did you what yeah i was like what did you describe yourself as sommelier but so last pick of the draft here mr irrelevant this is off the dome because someone stole fucking golden grams for me which i didn't expect but hey i had the the phone's been ringing in here all day. I got my scouts out there. We've been scouring talent across the cereal aisle. You traded down a pick. For my underrated cereal, I'm going to go. Did you guys ever have the Eggo Waffle cereal? Uh, maybe.

It's like little Eggo Waffles, but like, they're like. Maple syrup flavor? Uh, no. No, they were actually. Not that they were like literally just like little waffles but like they're like maple syrup flavor uh no no they were actually nothing but they were like literally just like little waffles oh but like they like they were fucking heaters there was there was such a long like few years in my life where that was the only cereal little thick rooks was eating like little young boy little chubby cheeks that man loved him egg and waffle cereal eventually you know he upgraded to just making like 14 egg and waffles at a fucking time but there was a time where i was housing that cereal and it's good it's like this is something so in comparison to cookie crisp right is we took and like not like waffles and milk like

pairs together like milk and cookies do but they threw that shit in the milk it tastes good the texture is good and then at the end the milk is just like it's got just like a little a little twang in it you know i'm saying a little some extra but that's my that's my that's my underrated okay it's still around there can i can i go to the store so i'm in this cereal draft and i literally haven't eaten cereal and i can't even tell you how long but i i'm gonna be you you bet your rear end next time i get in the fucking giant i'm gonna be scouring that aisle dude dude it's it's when you go there it's it's almost it's like being in disneyland like there are so many colors

it's so overwhelming i've gone to the grocery and i bought in i've like i bought five boxes of cereal before just for me and i'm just like i'm just gonna work my way through this and we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna're going to get through it. You said, you said a really bad habit when me and burn live together. I want Rachel can attest to this as well. I know I eat how I, how much cereal I eat in one sitting always ends up with just like a little sliver at the end of the box and it's never enough for a full bowl.

So what I always do is get down to that sliver and then just push that shit to like the end of the box and it's never enough for a full bowl so what i always do is get down to that sliver and just push that shit to like the back of the pantry and just buy more cereal and shit i've reached her when me and uh me and rachel left uh penn state there was like i'm pretty sure like five to six cereal boxes in there all with the exact same amount of cereal at the bottom of the box and it's just it's so bad our apartment in college we would buy about like seven or eight gallons of milk each week in like 10 boxes of cereal because between me you hicky and teddy we each got two at least every week it was too much you burned it got to the point where we all didn't really drink milk that much and you were just bringing four jugs home oh that was all for me completely

monopolizing the bottom of our fridge it was bullshit all right thirsty do you want to kind of uh brian we'll go in draft order do you want to kind of list off your picks? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So first pick overall, Cinnamon Toast Crunch for sugary. Everyone knows he's a stud. I got Sour Patch Kids as my terrible. Also a great pick. Don't try it. I haven't tried it. It's going to be bad.

Frosted Mini Wheats for healthy. I'm whatever on that pick. Choco Crave for chocolate. It's underrated and it's chocolate. It's good. Underrated. My best pick of the night, Scooby Doo cereal. I'll find a photo and send it to you guys.

I need to figure out what actually was available and if it's still available, it's so good. All right, so my draft. So first pick was Reese's puffs in my chocolate category. Uh, then I went to honey nut Cheerios, uh, honey Cheerios in my healthy,

uh, bad rice crispies again, cause they are just, it's a great point with the, the sound is the main marketing potential is, is, is, is a bad,

a bad, never going to pan out. Never good. Underrated golden grams,gs ggs out there and then my sugary cereal is fruity pebbles again not not happy you know would have loved ct crunch or captain crunch berries but had to settle with the fruity pebs and we'll go on from there all right my draft first overall you know, it's not a deep category. I want to lock up Cocoa Puffs.

The milk potential post-cereal is just, it's through the roof. You know, you can't compare it. My second pick, I went with Captain Crunch Berries as my sugary, all-around heater, tons of different elements coming into play. Great all around guy. You know, you need them in the locker room. Um,

great motor, great, absolute great motor. Um, moved into my healthy cinnamon life. Great choice. 10 times out of 10 solid. That's potential second round talent right there.

I'm not going to do my own horn. That's like a, that's like, it's like a right guard. Like he'll be round talent right there. I'm not going to toot my own horn. It's like a right guard. He'll be there for 10 years plus. Exactly. It's always going to be there. It's going to get the job done. Then went into bad cereal. Cookie.

Sorry. Cookie crisp. Because that shit fucking sucks it's it's trying to make two things that typically pair well together into a fucking cereal it's dog shit it's not good and then underrated the eggo waffle cereal i don't know if that shit still exists but i love that shit deep cut i love it awesome any quick honorable mentions anything that we did touch i have a one honorable mention from each of us and then i also want to hear your milk uh your milk choices quick so when my honorable mention is uh sugar cookie toast crunch which is only available around

christmas what the fuck is that it's a it's it's a variation of cinnamon toast crunch but it takes out the cinnamon and replaces it with more of a sugar cookie flavor. Fuck. To die for. Extra sugar. To die for. And then the milk I go with is always 2%. 2% milk.

Chilled to the bone. I'm not going to do hot milk with a cereal. Of course it's chilled. Hey, dude, you want a little cereal before bed, dude? Throw in some hot milk, dude. I made you a pot of milk for bed. God damn it. Don't go with that joke.

I would take. Keep going with that joke. Nobody knows what that is from except for me and you. God damn it. I could post it on Twitter. Yeah, you need to post that shit on Twitter. So anytime Burn says like hot Kool-Aid or like hot milk or any shit like that, put it on Twitter. People know what the fuck you're talking about.

Our viewers will know what you're talking about then. There it is. There it is. My honorable mention. And between two, you got me thinking about cinnamon toast crunch again. They have French toast crunch. Delicious.

Which like a little bit of the Eggo style, but sort of cinnamon toast crunch. And then there's a cereal just called churros. It's just little mini churros that you put into milk. And it's just cinnamon toast crunch you add. So there's a formula. They're riding it. Both of those are great.

Milk-wise, I was a skim boy growing up. So I'm a skim guy. Hey, dude. Water milk. I'm in the same boat as Vern milk-wise. I am a skim boy- boy until I die. I was born and raised that way. That's how I was made. I don't

know anything else. Gotta save those cows, man. I got two honorable mentions. One, fucking love Applejacks. Always loved Applejacks. Exactly. Some people don't bang with them. Your boy loves them some Apple jacks okay um

apple jacks and honeycomb i think i said something about honeycomb earlier and i was like oh i love that fucking cereal very like the only thing that sucks about honeycomb pieces are very large so that when they get soggy get soggy, it's like sponges. It's like very large, spongy. Right. So you've got to wolf them down. You've got to suck them down, get it going, and then they're heaters. Yikes.

I'll give one more since you guys gave two. I'll give a shout out to Trix. but before they changed it to all of the spheres when they actually had the shapes, Trix was... Trix was a good choice, too. So yeah, I'll give a shout out to Trix. They're for kids. I was a Trix boy, though.

Fucking silly rabbit, dude. Best looking cereal, for sure. For sure. Alright, well thanks, boys. That was a cereal draft. That was a great draft right there. And hey, there's another thing. We might be seeing this again, but with different recruit, or

what's the word? Prospects. Yeah, easily. I'll have noises for everything too, and it'll be a full draft going on. We gotta have the fucking Gadel calling the pick in. We have to do all that shit it's gonna be great it's gonna be awesome but hey thanks for joining us on another week of it's wednesday my dudes remember tell a friend you know pass this on we got a friend you know

burn's mom just found the show and she's gonna to hear me talk about dicks and stuff. So that's great. You know, that's a positive in our lives, you know. Pass this stuff on. If you got any questions, you want any advice or anything, Bern, what's the rules? In the description of every episode, there's a link. You can send us a voice message. Yell

at us, insult us, do whatever you want. Tell us what you want us to draft next. I'll put it in the episode. I don't care if you just come in and curse at us or yell dicks or something i'll put the clip in there because we have nothing better to do hell yeah zaddy you got anything to say say to these viewers no i don't i appreciate you guys letting me join it's always a good time and uh peace and love from shy town baby peace love rev run so we're gonna end it no we cannot end on that thank you for watching oh uh

I'm gonna keep going with this bit that you guys are viewers and you're watching this I don't care I'm going with this bit forever yeah surf those

creamy waves viewers surf those creamy waves