It’s Wednesday My Dudes - Ep. 91: The Cracker Corner ft. Denise

Episode Date: January 25, 2023

Covering all the hot topics of the week like the new Baja Blast hot sauce, can a Dog give you a hickey, and are Ritz crackers overrated? The boyos dig in. Rate us 5 stars on Spotify! and leave a review and rate on Apple Podcasts! Links here to follow on social media! and find other places to listen!

And here we go. What are your guys' thoughts on Baja Blast? It's goaded. Absolute banger of a drink. Banger of a drink, yeah? Denise, thoughts? Yeah, I don't know that I've ever had a Baja Blast. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Are you joking? No, I'm trying to think. I'm not a big Taco Bell gal. I know it's controversial. What's your go-to fast food? Wendy's. Absolutely Wendy's. That's fair.

At least that you're not basic McDonald's or something weird like Long John Silver's. No, I'm a Wendy's spicy chicken. Who the fuck's ever like Long John Silver's. No, I'm a Wendy's spicy chicken. Who the fuck's ever saying Long John Silver's? I don't know, man. She's strange. New Jersey people are weird. That's true. No, I'm very

much a Wendy's spicy chicken nuggets and a chocolate frosty kind of girl. That's my go-to. You can't go wrong with that. Exactly. It hits every time. Alright, we gotta order just some crab rangoon and denise a baja blast um so i guess this is just for rooks then uh what are your thoughts mountain deuce baja blast hot sauce has been revealed for taco bell but you can't buy it it's only through uh sweepstakes so i have entered so if we win please on february 8th i want to try this yeah because what's what is the flavor of baja blast it's like it's bluish green

it's color right yeah it's blue flavor if i were to describe it i'd say it's blue flavored but how like i feel like that's the opposite of what hot sauce is supposed to taste like yeah i don't so i'm very confused that's's just going to be fucking radioactive. That sounds so scary. It hurts my brain to think about. Is it supposed to be hot hot, or is it just a hot sauce? Or is it like this camera, this camera? I'm saying there's levels, right? Is it a Cholula, or is it a this camera, this camera, this camera hot sauce?

It's definitely a this camera, this camera, this camera hot sauce. It's definitely a this camera, this camera, this camera hot sauce. Because it's like... It's going to be... Fuck you guys. You know what I meant. Fuck y'all. I didn't. Yeah, I didn't either.

And also, the only information I have is one tweet or off of like Twitter from some random account. So they didn't say the Scovilles of it. So I didn't actually know how hot it was going to um but for the record baja blast flavor is a tropical lime flavor so it's gonna be like hot sauce with like lime squeezed into it and they're gonna market it as baja blast hot food color it too and it'll be oh no the bottle the bottle is very greenish blue if you can see this. I can't see it, but I don't want to see it. Ew.

There it is. That literally looks like Tabasco. Ew. Like the little Tabasco bottles? Yeah. Okay. I was like, Tabasco's not like blue, dude. Ew, that looked fucking gross.

Yeah, I just... Also, Baja Blast, I would not consider that lime-flavored. And this is going to sound really dumb, but there's too much blue flavor for it to be lime flavor. Like, if we're going back to scales last week, from a lime to blue, it's definitely more towards the blue side than a lime. Yeah. I mean, I fully agree.

I mean, that's why I threw tropical in the front of it because that's just a whatever you yeah well what's tropical flavor if we do scale with last week too we have like the little like like tangent line that comes off of it that goes towards mountain dew it's going to be on that spectrum as well because it is mountain dew technically so you know just bring it yeah that's fair but more towards the bluish side it's more of a blue drink than it is a lime drink in my opinion what a weird marketing campaign yeah i don't get it but like i'm all about weird flavored one-off things from like fast food restaurants i could see the reason i go to taco bell is just for the new thing. No matter what I

drive up, if there's something new, I get it every time. Here's a question for you. What if they were like, we now marinate our meat in Baja Blast? Oh, I'd have to try it. I'd absolutely have to try it. Would it be like tingly because it's carbonated at that point? Dealer's choice on that one because this is hypothetical and I really hope to God that that never comes to fruition. But you said you would try anything. Would you try that? We can make this at home. I can make some Baja Blast marinated chicken breast and I'll send that out to everybody.

Well, it's like this definitely like i would have to try it but like i've seen have i'm sure you guys haven't seen like there's tiktoks of people making shit with like four loco as like the um yeah it's like what they're like boiling it in and shit and it's like it's like baby you haven't even touched your four loctopus and it's like they're literally like boiling locked octopus and that shit it's so funny yeah i would have to give it a shot i'll try it i'm not gonna fucking enjoy it but like i am fascinated but not the four loctopus the fucking taco bell the four loctopus will not be tried ever here's a fun drinking game take a shot every time Rook says four lactopus this episode.

Four lactopus. I thought the drinking game was going to be, we have like two wheels. On the outside wheel, it's a meat. And on the inside wheel, it's a soda. And on, oh, three wheels. Inside that, a type of alcohol. You spit all three. And then whatever you get, you got to marinate that meat and that soda and that alcohol,

and then that's our meals for the night. I mean, honestly, the meat soda side would be fine. I feel like the alcohol is gonna be the game changer. Like, the alcohol is gonna be what makes it taste like super dicky. Like, huh?

It's gonna taste like dick. It's gonna taste bad. What alcohol does your dick taste like? I don't know man But Yeah no the alcohol The soda meat ones I could deal with those It's the alcohol one where I would be like

This is gonna really fuck up this food Are you doing like Cherry limeade that's a thing because that's gonna be nasty we're doing four loco and octopus there's only I mean I guess that's the kind of both yeah four loco

octopus wheel yeah there's no there's no other there's no other sections on it one is just four loco for the entire circle the other one's just octopus for the entire circle no way 50 50 dude russian roulette shout out ryan hickey sports radio network got me through my probability class dude i don't why do you think like they put alcohol in food already like as marinades like you marinate steak in like wine and stuff or like

sauces are made out of wine and stuff okay so the thing like they what is it they saute it they don't marinate it in it so like they'll like burn all the alcohol off of it in the pan and then you cook it in the pan but like there's i feel like there's it's like wine cognac like what else have you seen on shop that they use like this is a culinary they're not using anything else other than those two drinks and then like i guess you could like do like beer for like a like batter or something but like outside of that do you pull that thing you pull cherry limeade svetka like you're not getting a good meal out of this yeah cherry limeade svetka like shrimp i think you could do oh god oh maybe like a little tropical guy yeah yeah you got a little

it makes more sense at least i rather do that than like ground beef ew all right so we're planning a trip to den. This 100% is going on the itinerary. I'm actually busy that week now. I'm sorry. I mean, I'll see what happens. It is Wednesday, Mikey. I'm going to fuck you, Brian. Yo-ho.

How do you get milk out of a crab? Give me milk now, mommy. Fat batches. Solve world hunger. It's an animal. Make it this vagina animal style. Bonnie is a wonderland. Be the way. I'm sweater. now mommy fat matches solve world hunger tonight look at this vagina animal style that's like an orgy my guy what's up sluts the olympics are a fraud your word is reichster baby you're gross you were close to my butthole he is just eating right through your bottom trying to low-key penetrate you. Hey, boo-boo.

I shall not. Yeah, I shall not. Talking around to shit himself all the time. Hey, trying to have sex with a woman. Gun to the peen is what you need, brother. White Jesus. Kirby's down there just blowing. Knee cancer, not organs.

Fuck you, Ratatouille. It is Wednesday, my dudes. Ah! Welcome back to another episode of It's Wednesday, my dudes. Welcome back to another episode of It's Wednesday, my dudes. Episode 91. Back from the podcast grave. No one knows anything's own. Denise, welcome back. What up, hoes?

She's back. Yeah. It's a very exclusive get now because, like you said, I'm in the podcast dirt. Limited edition, an NFT of your own self. Exactly. And Rooks is here. Sup! Okay.

Zach and Corey are out, I don't know, making love. Bigger popping each other's assholes. Probably. But yeah, this week, you know, we're just going to let Denise decide what we talk about and just put her on the spot and we'll go from there. I'll tell you what. Everyone sound good with that? That's a bad choice right there. We'll get to it when we get to it.

But first, hey Rooks, how was how's your week man it was very very low key okay um i'm sure we talked about last week your boy went to la why am i saying we i'm sure we talked about last week i did talk about last week um but yeah i went to la last weekend so this week was a whole lot of r and r um grind don't stop you know getting back uh getting back to work and just trying to fully fucking reset um and yeah so this weekend didn't do dick friday um played some video games with the boys saturday ran some errands and that is that is my weekend in a fucking nutshell um my rate just needs to be like a plastic bag my now my rating was uh i put the old man emoji just because it felt like it was

old man weekend dude running errands on a saturday for your boy is like that's like unheard as uncharted territory like it's just do you just not do errands or just they're like a tuesday type of deal oh both absolutely both so errands is never a saturday move and then i'm never running errands anyway but if i did on tuesdays if i did have to do my errands it would not be on saturday but do you just not order groceries or like get gas ever grocery groceries i get during i get during the week typically or well i got i got groceries sunday but because i like i'm starting to like like i said grind don't stop again um we're starting to like meal prep sunday so like i need to have all my shit sunday but um but yeah no outside of that like i mean i don't really

run too many errands but it's like pretty much like i'm accompanying i'm accompanying her to go on errands and then i'm like walking around i'm like but i'm like walking around i'm like oh i never thought about this but like i need this for my apartment and then it's like oh wow like that's how they get you it's like i can use this as well and then i started just like picking things here and there and i was like it's a saturday at five o'clock and i have like a bag's worth of shit from home sense like what the fuck is going on with my life like where am i what it's a true story she's rubbing off on you anyways uh i just realized like you can get groceries delivered you should be able to get

gas delivered like i know that doesn't make sense. You can't put it in a box, but they should have a gas truck and it just shows up and fills up your car. Yeah, like the portable tanks. Yeah. I understand getting gas isn't hard and you take your car to get gas and you step two feet outside of it, but people in Jersey already can't pump their own gas as is. So like, let's make it even easier.

I would like to say, and I'll put it on air right now. I do find that pumping your own gas is not that bad. And that goes against everything that I've like ever stood for the past 28, almost 29 years of life. However, sometimes, and I am a New Jersey apologist through and through.

Sometimes there are like, there are times when you're just at the gas pump and it's like, the thing's done. But if I get out of my car, it's like against the law, I'm pretty sure to pump your own gas. And then you're just sitting there waiting. And it's like,

I have places to go and people to see. It's like frustrating. Now I really see and value the time that i get back wow from pumping my own gas and i'll put it on air right now when turned when i first started going to the fucking hoboken and seeing this egghead and we're filling up gas. Dude, literally, we pull into this gas station. There's one guy servicing, like, 12 cars. So this dude is walking around. And, like, we pulled in with, like, two other people. We were there for, like, 15 minutes before this guy finally got around to us. And then he can't figure out how the fucking card works.

So I was like, isn't your singular job, my boy, is to swipe my card and fucking pump gas into my car? How can you not swipe my card? So then, like, it was this whole thing back and forth. He was like, no, here. And I was like, no, no, no. Like, it's, like, here. Like, sometimes I just wipe the chip off a little bit and then it's fine. But, like, he kept trying it over and over again.

It wasn't working. I was like, and he wasn't coming back to ask for another card. So I't like get out of my car and be like here he was like it was just this whole fucking debacle we're like 20 minutes it's like dude this is such a waste of time i can i can stand on my own two feet get out of the car press a button and jam that shit into my fucking hole man like goodness gracious he was freaked out that was a really bad one it was awful but like it's just one of those things where it's like it's so simple it takes two seconds and then like you're just in and out where instead of like you having to wait for this guy i have this awkward ass interaction and then like sometimes i bet some of them are

pervs like not trying to generalize here but like i bet some of them can be pervs oh i've definitely had times where and i think maybe i'm just like hypersensitive to it's like being a girl but like where they hand your card back and like they make contact with your hand for like longer than they should or like if you just get like a vibe where it's like you don't need to touch my hand to hand me my credit card back kind of thing and it's just like i'm gonna roll up my window and see my way out these hands are card out the guy just like reaches out like sucks her finger a little bit and then grabs the card but no i'm just like here's great i'm just saying like i've had like i've gotten filled up enough in jersey in new york that i've had like a scope of like oh yeah that sounded really bad i apologize um but like i've gotten gas enough in those places i've seen a wide range of the people that like help you with your cars and a lot of

them are just like kind of sketch like that's all i'm trying to say yeah a lot of them are a lot of them you know i'm not going to reach out the car. I'm not going to shake their hand. You know what I mean? Like Denise, at what age did you learn to pump your own gas? Um, when 21 when I was in college. Okay, that's fair. I forgot you to do it in that Penn State.

I was like, if it was when you moved to DC.C. at like 28, I was going to make fun of you a little bit more. I'm pretty sure I had, I might have been Corey or Dylan come with me to the gas station. So really, like, doing it independently, 28. Did you only ever fill up at Penn State with someone else with you? Yes.

When she got here, we had to do like a full crash course. First off, and to make it even worse, we go. The crash course is you press the button. Well, the first gas station we go to, it's like our first, first off, she's all nervous. She's like, oh my gosh, like you got to help me. Like, I was like, I got you.

You put the card in, you jam the thing into your car and then it's all over. Bada boom, bada boom. Bada boop over um yep and then um but we go to this gas station and there's this lady it's like the middle it's like it was like summer this it's like so hot and there's this lady just on like hardcore drugs like this homeless lady we pull in and she it's a tiny little gas station like there's like i think there's only four or five pumps um she's fucking like laughing with somebody who's at their at their like pump so we think it's like oh it's like somebody normal and then she just starts like hip thrusting at him yeah we're like yo what the fuck and then like we can see his demeanor turn and then she's like

fuck you you tiny cock and she's just like screaming all this like random nonsense, this guy. And I was like, oh my God. Um, and she was just like, can we go to a different gas station? I was like,

yeah, this is where you go somewhere else. It's just so, and we went to the one across the street and it's across the street from that gas station. So we're still witnessing and hearing this lady and keep like snapping into these i'm like focus focus but it was a shit show yeah it was great but i'm happy to say that i can do it now i'm surprised it didn't turn into like a

derek zoolander like gasoline fight accident. Honestly, like... That would be incredible. I'm shocked. That lady was on some heavy shit though. She was like... And like, nobody... There's enough, especially in my little pocket in DC. There's a lot of homeless people. You just don't

like... Nobody really deals with them. It's just like a part of our life you know we don't like yeah you're not really they don't bug you you don't bug them type thing but like this lady just wanted everyone's like fucking attention the whole time it was just like

getting everyone's just like trying to like be like oh my god please don't come over to me like it was so bad it was so painful I will say though there's nothing that hits quite as hard still as like when i do go to jersey and like pull up and you're like 20 regular cash and it just like it just makes you feel a type of way and i can't do that here and it's something that i do miss but i do have an appreciation for pumping my own gas it's just the little things you know

i just think we turned you i'm just happy you admitted it what's your emoji for the week me yeah or did you not talk about your week yet sorry no rooks is taking up all our time you don't talk about fucking pumping gas dickhole where are we at rooks rooks is done are you done yes old man emoji rank it there it is on the board denise how's your week my week was great thank you so much for asking um similar similar to rucks except friday um had a little taco margarita post-work happy hour with some of my co-workers which was nice we do it like every once in a while just to kind of put something on the calendar to help us get through. How much Baja Blast hot sauce do you put on those tacos? None, but we frequent this place. So I'm going to ask next time.

You have to. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So that was Friday. Then Saturday, yeah, ran some errands. I've lived here for six months and i needed some i needed more furniture in my apartment um so i got a lamp i got a basket i got some you know decorations we're making it we're making it homey we're making it nice is a lamp a basket or decorations furniture because i don't think any of that's furniture i also have a dresser that's furniture i consider a lamp furniture a lamp is like lighting that's its own category yeah it's just furniture I feel like furniture

it's either a table or it's something you can sit on you can sit on a light you're not gonna have a good time but you can sit on it I guess you can sit on anything really uh isn't it crazy

it's like something made out of wood isn't it crazy that like so much of our life we're just like sitting down you know like oh shout out hinge girl just dumbest person in the world oh wait did i not get did we ever air that oh it didn't ever air we never rehashed it no because we went to pittsburgh and then we just shared it with everybody oh my god oh all right shout out missing episode i'm so yeah and zach i'm sorry this like because this is that on zach's hinge but this girl on zach's just sorry this girl on zach's hinge her voice message was literally us like it was like a two minute rant about her

talking about just like you know it's crazy because like sometimes we're just like you know like sitting down like you sit down when you're in your car when you're in your house like you know it's crazy because like sometimes we're just like you know like sitting down like you sit down when you're in your car when you're in your house like you spend so much of your life sitting down and that's like that was it but it was like two minutes of her just like listing things you sit down during and it was like that was the end of it it was the worst thing i've ever listened to i still stand by there should not be voice prompts on hinge they're just the worst thing in the world they every one of them gives me the heebie-jeebies and i will never be wrong about that do you auto swipe left if it's a if it's a if they have a voice prompt i'll listen to it like

the first couple seconds and it usually gets a left because it's they're always so small and i'm just i can't i can't deal with that it's so weird so uncomfortable the first time i heard it like in that episode where you first said that i was uncomfortable and right now in real time i'm even more uncomfortable i'll be sure to just keep sending that audio message to you every day uh how's your week it was by not afterwards. Yeah. I got, after I was so rudely interrupted, got some furniture. And then Rooks left out a very important part. We went to P.F. Chang's on Saturday, which, Brian, I don't know the last time you went to a P.F. Chang's. I wanted to order it.

Like, this was months ago. They had the audacity to charge like $20 in fees. And I was like, the lettuce wraps are good but they ain't that good so I've been craving it on Uber Eats and I have been craving it ever since and we went

and watched the Giants just get pummeled to the ground but it was so good do they have TVs? yeah they did. We sat at the bar. What degenerates go to a P.F. Chang's to sit at the bar? P.F. Chang's is great.

You psychopaths. It's me. To sit at the bar? I love a bar dinner. Me too. I love sitting at the bar for dinner. If you had the choice, Brian, would you do a table or a bar sit? Booth every day. No.

It's like bar, if you have stools, worst thing in the world. And if they're not stools, they're like the little ones with the little backs on it. Again, second worst thing in the world. No, theirs were like legit chairs. They were full chairs. Yeah. So they were high top chairs. Here's the power ranking of restaurant seating.

And then I'll be done with my weekend. Bar seats, like sitting at the bar. Yeah. Sitting at the bar is number one. Absolutely. power ranking of restaurant seating and then I'll be done with my weekend bar seats like sitting at the bar yeah sitting at the bar is number one absolutely then a close second is a high top table in the bar area I will also do that yes

and then a booth what about a regular table it's fine it's fine i was after i honestly would flip that fully because any high top chairs are just not comfortable i love a high top table no yeah it's and then regular tables whatever booth obviously is the most comfortable everyone knows that i do i mean i do love a booth

so i'm gonna i'm flat i'm flipping i'm going bar booth high top but like i love eating dinner at the bar it's great you get like so you get such quicker service yeah you know what's funny sometimes like you know the booth seats and then i'll be done with my weekend i'll give my emoji whatever but one sometimes when you sit in a booth and it's like really, like you really sink into it, and then your arms are almost like above your head while you're eating dinner. Yeah, it's the best. While you try to reach for the table, like you just feel so small. I will say, I do love a nice, like fluffy booth.

Like when you sit down in a booth and like you're talking about right now, you get that little like sink in it's like oh this is gonna be comfy dinner that is nice. That's where you don't get that at just a pure wooden high top chairs at the bar. Hey that's not true. Yeah but think about all that you do get the bar camaraderie

a sticky bar top and then like a little bit closer to you. Hey PF chain is a classy establishment okay so shut the fuck up. You shut your mouth. I will also say there was, so there's a bar in Montgomery County that me and Johnny went to to watch basketball one year

and they have like a few love seats spread out throughout the bar. So there's like singular chair, singular chair and then there's a two seater. And it was the only seat at the bar and we wanted to watch the games and i was like johnny sat in the love seat it's like johnny we're gonna have to sit in the love seat he was like perfect i'm ordering wine i was like god damn it this is gonna be this is just a look um but we sat like those were like legit like

there was like actual like cushions and stuff and it was like yeah the it was the pence ultimate chair i sat in at a bar i'm not gonna lie like it was just their high top loveseat chairs it was like it was literally that's so weird and then it was like fully it was like a fully cushioned loveseat it was great how does i love the cushion but the high top part of it's strange it was great though it was a modern marvel in um engineering if you will was this at like a little caesars no oh let me see no it was a was it called pinstripes have you been to a movie theater that has love seats no but that's sick it's's tight. It's really cool.

I went to one in Georgia when we were visiting my brother once. And every other seat was a love seat. I was like, that makes sense. Why wouldn't you do that? And they were not like movie chairs. They were comfy sofa type things with armrests and stuff. Do you think people would be jerking each other off on those things? Just a little side job during the movie?

I mean, of course. It's gross. They definitely need washed down way more. We gotta go into Theater 7. Just hose the whole place down, okay? They were showing Twilight in there. Everyone's getting after it. We kept hearing noises. Is it Twilight?

Just turn the fire alarm on real quick yeah just run that shit just lighter yeah what was your emoji um the the blue couch with the lamp and i also do have a blue couch so it works do you also have a lamp now yeah so it's really spot on crazy i know look at that that was perfect emoji if you ask me how was your weekend that's what you do around here right yeah thanks wow wait wait up just immediately throw it back i mean i'm impressed usually it takes like a long 15 second awkward pause and we've been doing this for 90 episodes you're dealing with a professional here don't forget so typically burn you're a last so like it's like all the long-winded talk like everyone just doesn't

shut the fuck up about their weekends and then so after three like not shutting the fuck up about your weekends everyone's just like oh man that's a lot and that's like oh yeah fuck burn how's your weekend usually i do them pretty quick all right um i watched the bachelor yesterday they did the gritty at one point hold, we haven't watched it. That's all I want to say is they did The Gritty at one point. Horrible. The ratings should go to zero. They should cancel the show. They were literally gritting on The Bachelor?

They were gritting? It was bad. But also, so I went to Jimmy Kimmel Monday, and the guest was The Bachelor dude Oh I just love all of these ladies

He's literally The most boring person in the world He's a fucking NPC dude he's like Russell Wilson Like we were talking about last week He just exists And like to his credit He seems like a nice dude He seems like he's gonna be fine

But like he's just a nice dude. He seems like he's going to be fine. But like he's just the most just like golden retriever. Just like I just want to fall in love. It's like, dude, like, all right, man. But like you're going to have 19 girls here trying to get on their social media up. Like it's not going to be that easy, chief. Yeah. And like usually if like they show up at like a TV interview or they have their own show now, they like come out of their shell a little bit. Now, he did the gritty and was horrible at it.

But like that's not coming out of your shell. Like you should get pushed back deep, deep, deep, deep back into your show. But it was cool to see him in person. I so I got like front row seats to the show. So I was like a foot and a half away from Jimmy Kimmel for like 30 minutes. I don't know. Look, the tickets are free and you just kind of show up. I showed up like an hour before and I was in front row.

I was like, that's pretty cool. What? Maybe no one wanted to go see The Bachelor be the guest. No one gave a shit. But like if I lived in L.A., I feel like I'll go there a lot because there's also a free concert afterwards it's like what it's like one song but like i don't know it was lucas graham you know the dude who sings the like once i was seven years old that's guy yeah he was is that what he's not good no it was some new song it was there's no way he sings that song that song is like years old no no i'm just doing a promotional tour right now to promote my song

that's like 10 years old gotta get the views back up no i told that to kristen she's like isn't that just like the one song this dude has i was like i i guess he's got something new but it was tight i don't know it's just like super that is pretty random and then before that jamie was in town jamie who's going to hawaii with me and splitting the airbnb so like gotta hang out with her for a day like realize we don't hate each other so like that's good so like i'm pumped for hawaii it's gonna be a good month the fuck was there a possibility you were going into the trip hating each other but like so i've met her a million times and i know her but like i've never hung out with her like just me you know yeah sometimes it's different when it's one-on-one yeah so that changes a lot and i mean usually it's fine but like i don't know so it was good

so that's cool. So my emoji, I was going to use the one Rooks did because for some reason, I thought Jimmy Kimmel, I thought of an old dude with a mustache, even though definitely doesn't have a mustache. So he's not that old. He's pretty old. So you know, he's got a lot of gray. It's this week is their 20th anniversary of doing the show. So like he's pretty old uh so i went with like the the fake sunglass and mustache if they're trying to hide because it's the only other emoji face with the mustache on it which still doesn't make sense

but like it's on the board i can't go back on it now it doesn't at all hey stand behind your pick oh i do i just also am going to throw it into the dirt uh we got a as an update to podcast stuff on anchor where we post these it goes to spotify and you can have q and a's and they're like they added this like the beginning of this year whatever and the default one is just what do you think about this episode so every one of our podcast episodes has that and you can answer it on spotify never thought anyone would answer it but we got one random like sort of response oh i'm gonna drag you guys settle in this is from k just the letter k um it says thanks again i will have it tomorrow if we need it for next week thanks for the next week or so good weekend see you next week or so next weekend and i can still get it done next weekend

that was definitely someone bro like but dialed to your spotify page and then voice memoed a conversation they were having with someone it's that it's definitely a fucking bot yeah that's definitely a bot dude they're not even trying with these fucking things anymore they're like yeah i just fucking read the dictionary as a comment and just see how it works like what the fuck i thought we were actually gonna get like i thought it was gonna be something like funny or like like i thought it was gonna be one of our friends no it's just looking like just ai mumbo jumbo what the fuck was that i was really hoping it was just someone gonna be mean like i was really excited for that and then i was like oh this is absolutely like a bad version of chat gpt the thing is just at this point what do we this is 91 if you're gonna be mean to us at episode 91

in like like number one like you've missed a little bit but number two like dude if you listen to us at all and you think anything will bother us about what you say we know how ridiculous this is like we know we only talk about bullshit like that's the point as long as you're not calling me ugly man like i don't care oh all right we know what to uh make some fake accounts and send them i mean you're the one who goes to pf change to sit at the bar so i think you can't get any lower than that don't hate the player fuck it fuck you man all right now i got a debate topic for us i'm just gonna keep throwing random things at us until this hour's over ready god damn sound more excited to talk to us please seriously i'm just gonna see i'm gonna see what sticks and we're just gonna we're gonna run with that that's always

what we do anyway dude why you gotta let the people behind the curtain right now okay we talking about our fake reviews i gotta talk about our fake topics episode 91 people if you don't understand the formula this shit by now go go somewhere else okay all right do you want a debate topic or do you want a question from Tommy which I also six months it's not okay then debate topic

can dogs give hickeys no absolutely not they don't have lips what's the little flap but like they can't like i don't think they have like them i don't think they have like the muscles in their lips like we do where they can like latch you know what i'm saying they drink milk from their their mom but that's like

that's like what they're like home like that's what they're like home uh i feel like they like grip it with their like teeth though you know what i'm saying don't they have like bumps on their tongue don't they have like grippy don't they have like group i'm not even saying this to be funny bro i'm just picturing a dog literally just serious

they stick their tongue out and just like like maybe their tongue is just wrapped around the nipple what the fuck no don't they have yeah cats have like sharp tongues yeah have you never gotten like licked from a cat before

not a cat apparently no absolutely not you're the worst no yeah it's definitely you're thinking of cats they're they're rough dogs don't have bumps. They're not like octopus tentacles with little on a side of it. So like they have lips. They can drink milk from a mother, which I feel like it's kind of the same motion.

It's like when you look at like a pup, have you seen like puppies? Like their snout, everything you like puppies like their snout? Everything's like super like tight. And like, I feel like they have like denture as things where they just like kind of like latch on to the nipple. But like when they when they like as dogs get older, like, yes, they have lips. But like, I just feel like they don't have like the muscles to like do it. I feel like if anything, it would be like a bite that just like resembles a hickey you know yeah i mean they can yes they can leave a mark but like i don't think it's like a true

hickey like where they like slurpy on the neck you know what i'm saying but like all i use is like you kind of like suction right you just kind of have to like breathe in like you don't think a dog could like put its mouth over your arm and just kind of like breathe in really hard this is going to be a weird thing to google hold on i don't know that i don't know that they can make suction that's that's the thing i can't wrap my head around like that's what i'm trying to say i don't think so suction well it's it's like it's two things you get a seal and then you have to like breathe in right and then the thing is they can definitely breathe the thing is too i feel like when it comes to them like um like sucking on their mama's teats it's like it's gonna be like you know how

when you milk a cow like you grab it and like push it down like you're not sucking but it's like the motion of just like gripping and like pulling down on it that's probably what they do to their mother's nipples like they like it's just like the pressure of it and like hickeys i'm i'm using the nipples to explain why they cannot do hickeys unlike humans dogs don't have cheeks which means they can't create any suction in their mouth boom google well i should have known that yeah you should know that that's like speech science 101 yeah it's like mouth i'm off the clock you don't learn dog anatomy in speech class no but i should have been like oh we create suction using our cheeks so dogs i don't know if they have that I made the connection there but but like what's like the back

end of where their mouth ends called like their mouth doesn't go to like their neck also I feel like it depends on the breed of dog I call it like their snout it's like their snout you know what I mean like yeah but like what are like a bulldog are those the ones with the fat

flat face man those things those things are barely living you are those the ones with the fat flat man those things those things are barely living you can't ask those things to fucking suction dude those things bulldogs come out of the womb fighting for their life immediately dude i think he's just like like bro it's fair fair fair okay so the follow-up question that is what animal can and i guess we learned they have to have cheeks i mean i can google that's probably an easier google search what animals have cheeks what animals can create suction i mean like a monkey probably especially the ones that have like the lips i'm gonna get put on a list for googling this shit god damn it is bestiality illegal i don't think they're looking for that uh but yeah monkey's the easy answer like obviously that's like one step away from a human okay cool easy

but how far down can we go like spiders do spiders have a mouth can they i mean you get yeah you get bit by a spider like i don't like talking i don't want to talk about spiders on the podcast they give me the heebie-jeebies well spiders don't they breathe through their like antennas isn't that how bugs breathe huh i have no fucking i'm not even gonna lie to you i have no fucking idea. I'm pretty sure I learned somewhere that bugs and things like that breathe through like antennas, like really tiny antennas on their head. This is a bug podcast. Do we have any bug scientist friends we could call? No.

No. I mean, I found like. Thankfully. Humans, horses and pigs can create suction with their tongue. Oh, horses. That's a Thankfully. Humans, horses, and pigs can create suction with their tongue. Oh, horses. That's a good one. Yeah, horses and pigs can. Horse doesn't make sense to me, though. Have you ever

seen like a horse, like when they do like the weird little thing? Yeah. But if you look at a horse's like... It kind of makes sense. If you look at a horse's mouth, it is kind of like human-esque. Like they're like... I feel like the bottom of their snout turns into like the bottom of our skull you know what i'm saying it's like a little rounded and then it's just like but that's what i'm saying like they have like a snout verse at the end though it's like no

because it's like all the way at the end it's like uh it's like a little like bottom half of our face on the end of the snout maybe i'm picturing horses badly maybe like an ant eater i don't know snouts just snouts like they have like those really long ones right and then they just like dig into the ground in the well they definitely can that's a great one but i don't think that's their mouth oh is that their mouth i'm thinking of like an elephant they're like like those, they're like, isn't that their, the breather? The breather,

their nose. Nope. That's the one. The more we talk about it, the more I realize I don't know a fucking thing about animals. Oh, I looked at the spider thing.

Apparently, they do sort of just breathe through their skin. I'm brilliant. Ew. Oh, I don't like, I don't like the spiders. Yeah, Oh, I don't like... Yeah, right?

I don't like talking about them. They're always giving you hickeys just through all eight of their limbs the whole time they're walking across your body. Let's keep talking about them. No, please stop. So I wasn't totally wrong. How to do a full

spider episode. I'm out. I'm out to do a full spider episode. I'm out. I'm out. Annoy Rooks. It doesn't annoy me. It generally makes me uncomfortable. I don't like it. Anteaters have a long snout, but they also have a really long tongue.

I think that's worth thinking about. Yeah, it kind of shoots out, too. Yeah, it's like a frog like you know okay so probably ant eaters on the board because like they still do have a little mouth at the end right

alright we got ant eater we got monkey we got horse pig was on the board yeah pig was on there and I don't know it was from Harvard man I don't know. It was from Harvard, man. I don't know. They said pig.

How do people think of these questions? Cause now my brain, I'm thinking about it. I thought of this. Oh, I thought you got this. What is wrong with you? What the fuck?

I mean, so me and Corey were talking about this somewhere. I don't know. This has been on the board for about a year. And I was waiting to pull this one out. Here's your opportunity to be like, it wasn't me. Corey brought it up a long time ago. He's not here to defend himself.

You throw the bestiality card at Corey. Hey, we own our shit on this podcast, okay? That's fair. If you got a hickey from a pig, does that count as bestiality? I don't know. If you got a hickey from a pig does that count as bestiality i don't know if you got a hickey from a pig would you admit that it's from a pig or would you make up another story yeah no that'd be sick because no one would no one will believe you because it'd be like why are you lying who was it actually from like you have that's such an outrageous lie it has to be a crazy story but it actually actually was a pig. And then they find out the real reason is actually a pig,

and then they're even more blown away, and then confused, and then you probably do go to jail. But for the couple days it takes them to figure out, riveting. Uh-huh. Are you okay? No?

Okay, we can move on, I guess. The West Coast Air is doing something to him. Tommy asked a question once. What's your favorite non-fiction show? Like, ever? Wait, non-fiction is the one with real people or fake people? The question itself doesn't make sense. And I gave him a lot of crap for it and i was waiting to tell

ask everyone else this question oh because it's that that's a book genre yeah that's not a genre of tv show you can call a show fictional or non-fiction technically right anything outside of like a documentary would be non-fiction yeah it's a made-up story like i'm like a documentary would be nonfiction. Yeah. It's a made up story. Like I was saying, a documentary would be nonfiction. You might as well just ask what's your favorite TV show. Other way around. Nonfiction is a documentary.

That's what I said. Oh yeah. Denise, Denise had it wrong. Fiction is fake. Oh yeah. Right. You're right. You're right.

Oh, but yeah. And who phrases it like that this is more just to make fun of tommy for a minute to be honest welcome to roast session timmy soggins you're stupid don't ask me a dumb question and then expect me to not make fun of it i mean like i would never describe i would never describe a show as fictional or nonfiction, but you could. It's just going to be strange and probably be aired on a podcast somewhere. Is Robin Big a nonfiction TV show?

Yeah. Any of the housewives? When you put it like that, it sounds kind of fucked up. It's so stupid. The Bachelor, is that nonfiction sounds kind of fucked up. It's so stupid. The Bachelor? Is that nonfiction? Any of the Housewives? I mean, that's borderline fiction.

Whoa, you watch your mouth. Yeah, hold on. Bite your tongue. All right, I got another one for you, if my phone will cooperate. What are your thoughts on Ritz Crackers? A tier, F tier? If you're going to sit here and slander Ritz crackers, I'm out. Because they are S tier.

And I will die on this hill. The fact that we didn't start with this and that I don't have 50 minutes to go on about my unending love for Ritz crackers is a crime. We can record episode 92 right now. We can stop this. Denise's Ritz cracker manifesto. Strap in. What's up for everyone? Welcome to Denise's Ritz cracker corner.

Are Ritz crackers. Are they the cracker corners? Tough. The cracker corner is a tough look man um do you workshop it and this is i know denise's answer this but burn do you think ritz cracker is like the best like pent ultimate cracker no we did sort of talk about this and that's why i think this is a good thing to bring up. Chicken and a biscuit cracker. Guys, no one's ever in it. I have no fucking idea. That is some honky tonk southern shit, man. No one has ever done that.

You want to talk about a true crackers cracker? A chicken and biscuit fucking cracker. It's spelled wrong. It's literally spelled C-H-I-K-I-N. That's not a word. Chick-fil-A isk-i-n that's not a word i chick-fil-a spelled wrong come on it's short for chicken filet well this is short for chicken in a biscuit no it's just they're delicious because they're dumb it's it's literally just a ritz cracker but like with a little seasoning on it in there so maybe okay so maybe they're not a crackers cracker then if with a little seasoning on it. So maybe

they're not a Cracker's Cracker then. If there's seasoning on them, I'm going to say it's not made by crackers. That's all I'm going to say. Have you ever had the chocolate-covered Ritz? No. I love those. They're delicious. They're top-notch.

I don't think I've ever seen chocolate Ritz. Rooks, what's your opinion on Ritz Crackers so i can get to the question i mean i think they're kind of i think they're good and like i like bang with them but like when it comes to crackers like it's not gonna like how like they're good but like they could be they could be upgraded right they could turn into an oreo they could be better i mean or turn into Turn into an Oreo? That's a cookie. We can't do a cookie versus cracker fucking debate here.

That's a Sophie's choice. Don't make me pick. You might not have to. This was a year ago now. Ritz and Oreo are combining for a thousand limited edition packs and it's half Ritz with peanut butter half oreo with cream brian and it still exists oh this was from like june of 2022 so definitely not maybe listen to me right now i don't care what sweepstakes you have to enter. Get your hands on those and send them to me.

Fuck your last hot sauce. I want those. They sound delicious. And the fact that it's not like a standard product. Yeah. So they came out May 26th. According to Oreo's website, all 1,000 packs were claimed, and the snack was sold out as of May 30th. The only one I see for sale online, someone is selling them for $200 on eBay.

I would buy them. I got $74.95 with free shipping. Estimated delivery January 28th. Jesus Christ. We're going to chip in? Also, you're telling me that it took four days for them to sell out? I had a four-day grace period to find out about this, and I didn't? That's on you for not being a big enough fan.

How about instead of us spending like $25 a person person how about we just physically make these ourselves because they're super simple to make don't tell her that no no no she can't realize that like there's the simplest thing in the world to make no yeah they yeah we actually could except the sizes are different so the ritz that come with peanut butter already on them are the little mini guys i guess you could get the mini Oreos. I retract my statement. I'm saying literally, just Ritz Cracker, you slab the peanut butter on it yourself. You know what I mean?

It's got to be the fake, perfectly round of it. And it peels right off in one piece. When I was little, I used to just eat all the peanut butter and then eat the crackers separately. That's how you have to do it. I'm just weird with my food. Do you like the cheese ones or

are you anti-cheese i do like them in a pinch i i prefer the peanut butter but i'm not anti-cheese the cheese are definitely like last resort snack like if we got nothing else on the table like i'm i'll throw some of them down but like i just don't prefer. Every time I eat those, the cheese, I'm like, this is not cheese. I don't know what this is, but this is not cheese. You know what that cheese is? You know when you make Easy Mac and sometimes you get the clumps of cheese on the side of the cup or something? They just were like, oh, we're going to just don't waste it. Just scoop it out.

We'll slap it in between these two crackers and package them off. But it's not as good as that. If it easy mac cheese between crackers would be really good that would make it s tier low-key like that would make it unbelievable yeah the mini ritz both variations are they're a solid gas station snack pick like if you go to like a mediocre gas station you're like these are pretty good they get the job done do you think you could toss them in a bowl of milk and turn it into a cereal the peanut butter ones not the cheese ones that's oh god fucking christ that sounds horrible i don't see why not they probably get so soggy so quick though right you'd have to do like a little bit of milk on your spoon and then just

like put the the sandwich on top and then eat it like that like like like a dunk kind of deal yeah yeah because uh the crackers since they're not they're just not as like dense as a cookie so when they get in the water they'd be or like the milk they'd be fucked up right true cookie cracker science I don't know I just cracker science quack science is that the title

of this episode I think I kind of asked oh god hate that absolutely hate that title we've talked about

crackers a lot and we have crazy Denise's wacky cracker corner so it's kind of have to put up there so i mean i think it's a great bit you guys got going here saying yeah it's kept the doors open kept the lights on we're not six feet under like uh another rival podcast maybe that's true i'll be the first one to admit it like yeah that that train went

off the tracks how many of those viewers can we get off of yours because you uh you're burying us earlier I'll just do like a one like drop in episode and be like hey you all now need to show my dudes

super similar content very uplifting very it's Wednesday my dudes. Super similar content. Very uplifting. It's going to make you think. Okay. Did you ever think about if an animal could give you a hickey? No. But it's really important. They'll talk about it.

It's because no one knows anything. Snaps. Snaps. it it's because no one knows anything snaps snaps snaps all right rooks new segment i don't know man Thank you. Bye.