It’s Wednesday My Dudes - Ep. 92: The Girth Wood Fap (Zak Draft)

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

Midwestern Milkman is out and its high time we honor/dishonor him by drafting things about him. We also plan out multiple restaurants which may or may not prominently feature T-shirt cannons.   Rate us 5 stars on Spotify! and leave a review and rate on Apple Podcasts!   Links here to follow on social media! and find other places to listen!

And here we go. T-shirt cannons should be way more common. Like, you know, they're only at sporting events. Like, day-to-day life, we need to have them more often. Like, fast food drive-in window, put it, my food, put a burrito down that thing and just launch it into my car. Then you can have like eight different lanes. You don't actually have to be close to the building. You can just kind of like aim it to the parking lot over the other way.

Just. I guess I'm trying to think of like another good use for it, because that's obviously a good use. Easily. I guess. Well, what's the what kind of velo does a T-shirt cannon have? You know what I mean? Like when it shoots something out of it, like how hard is it coming out i think you can i think you can adjust this knob yeah yeah well i don't want to fucking just like i would argue brian also better my like soft penis coming out like i don't want

to just like plop down you know what i mean like i want to like shoot out like a fucking wow just like then i also feel like there's a danger factor and now it's like a dangerous like hazard well it depends what you put in it exactly quick side note i feel like you could have used the hot dog cannon as an example for the food instead of just a t-shirt cannon have you ever been in a sporting event and they shoot the hot dogs out there's yes but again you need to use them other than sporting events that's the only place they're used we already put food in them use them like if we invented a restaurant where there weren't waiters there was just the chef in the back and he had a t-shirt cannon that shot your food to you

we would be rich but like that's gonna how are you gonna outside of burritos hot dogs maybe like a hoagie. What other kind of, is that the only food we're serving? You get hit by a giant Jimmy John's. You can't have a fucking don't piece. You can't have a fucking t-shirt cannon shooting a tomahawk steak with potatoes. Like it's going to have to be like something that's concise. Do you think you can't fit a baked potato in one of those things?

Easiest thing in the world. Everything kind of has to end up being wrapped in foil or something. But for sure we could do it. Are we doing like Cloudy with a Chance at Meatballs where like the people in the restaurant have to hold the plate up and then it catches on the plate? Or else we're just fucking shooting food everywhere. You know what I mean? Oh, it should be called Sloppy Joe's. Guys. Oh, and we only serve sloppy joes from cannons hard a sloppy sloppy joe keeping its structure

coming out of a fucking t-shirt cannon would be i was more going for like it's gonna be sloppy and that's where the name comes from not that we're only shooting sloppy joes out of a cannon well we can't be called sloppy joes and not have a sloppy joe on the menu yeah honestly it's like open face sloppy joe like little john he's a big guy there you go

it's opposites so we never we only serve sloppy jeans shout out it's 2023 come on me too movement what if we had a day where we only served soup you see now we're just kidding now we're just kidding like we're for today's topic cereal oh a little a little tease maybe a little teaser except have you ordered cereal at a restaurant before no but let's normalize normalize that while we're at it.

That's true. Okay, two restaurants. One. That'll be Sloppy James. Sloppy James, strictly cereal. Or Sloppy Joe's. Hear me out. I'm listening.

I'm listening. Little baby bird. Hear me out. We have a breakfast menu. We could just do cereal for breakfast. That makes okay but so are we are we shooting individual pieces of cereal are we shooting like the little cups that come in are we shoot like what the fuck are we doing here we're shooting bags that have milk and cereal in them that'd be cool that's not a bad idea wasn't even thinking that look you see you were mad but you

came up with the best idea so far i'm trying so in canada they've served milk in bags so like it's not too far-fetched to be completely honest i i hate this idea but now my brain now we're so deep into it my brain is analyzing all the semantics of it and I'm trying to figure out what the fuck's going on. Bagged milk, bagged cereal. Easy. Do people even slap the bag, do you think? When they drink milk? Yeah.

Do you go to a party with straight milk? Is that my new move for when I go to parties? Is I'll bring milk in a bag? Just say you're Canadian. And walk around. What's a milk-based alcohol mixed drink? Rum shata? That I can say it. All right, so I'll walk around saying it's rum shata,

and it's just skim milk, and people will be very pleased. Bailey's and cream? But it's a little darker, though, right? I would have to chocolate milk yeah chocolate milk yeah just get a brown cow all right uh i'm so deep i'm so deep into t-shirt canon google right now it's fucking absurd enlighten us well like okay so it's between 40 and 50 PSI, shoot up to 100, 150 feet. It is important to realize that air cannons

can be dangerous. They require adult supervision. I knew that. So no children at a restaurant. That's a plus. Miniature cannons are technically not firearms under federal law there we go nice so you can conceal carry those bad boys anywhere i just imagine somebody with

a teacher cannon and just saying like don't worry i'm licensed to carry like get the fuck out of here oh my god there's a whole oh brian i thought of another practical idea actually uh for the cannons going back to the original question and why we're here uh like you know how at the beach they have like umbrella guys what if they had towel guys where they like somehow unravel like you shoot them like they don't have to get off from their ivory tower of wood lifeguard whatever they could just shoot them and they'll go like you know football fields away just be like oh yeah i'm not i'm not gonna walk down there just pop you took like three left turns what he could have just said stayed straight just put umbrellas on it and you just raise your

hand and they launch the umbrella out of it a fucking t-shirt cannon that can handle an umbrella and shoot it a hundred feet is 110 percent a weapon pretty sure that's what they got moby dick with absolutely a weapon like literally dude there was a an ocean city maryland there was um it was a few summers ago there was bad windstorm where like, or not windstorm, but like it was just insanely windy. So like umbrellas were getting windstorm. I don't know. But umbrellas were getting like pulled out of the ground and like rolling around. Someone got fucking impaled by an umbrella, like a loose umbrella.

Like that's that's a weapon. Well, a gun that shoots something that can impale someone is absolutely a weapon did that person have adult supervision they weren't using i don't think so how many uh how many years did the umbrella get are you talking about nature using adult supervision what are we talking about here wait cory had a good question though how many years did the umbrella get for manslaughter i don't know google it man i got way too much going on in my brain right now to even entertain that have you seen in europe there was a bird that like stole some money from somebody wrong and so they're real that's true it was a drone from the government

but either way but they put the bird in, and they took a photo of it. What? And they put that photo in the newspaper, and they put a little black bar over its face to hide its identity. What the fuck? That's so absurd. That's un-fucking-believable. I'm just picturing a bird

talking. Just be like talking just be like that looks like Jim like what are we doing here I just wish they had like an interview with the bird later too and they did the voice changer for when it chirped so it's just like good god

alright so umbrellas t-shirt launchers um they're kind of expensive also really what do you hold on before no no no before before rook says it what do you think their price is brian because i feel like i'm not surprised by t-shirt cannon being expensive but you sounded really surprised because it's just like a paintball gun. It's just like a tube, and then there's CO2 attached to it. So it's like a couple valves, and that's it.

So I would expect it to be like $100, $150. But if Rook's saying it's expensive, he's saying like $5, $750. Are you thinking $1,000? Me? No, not you. Rook's. Rook's was shaking his head heavily at the $150. I have the prices.

I'm saying $150 is very low. Is it $700? Now we're getting warmer. Okay, so for these two that look like they're kind of butt, one's like $400, one's $500. But for the Amazon recommendation... Yeah, people are buying these. It's like $750, $800,

and there's a really good one that's $1,700 fucking dollars. It only has three and a half stars, though. I want to look into this. Oh, read the reviews. Please read the reviews for us. I bet you they got it from that fucking box sham. Demon box?

The first one? The only one that's like a like written out three stars didn't work as expected didn't reach the bleachers that's all it says not even reaching the bleachers let alone like the top of the bleachers you have to pay 1700 you have that shit at half court in like a high school gym that shit doesn't even get out of bounds on the court that's disappointing as hell i mean you definitely have to like pack it correctly though so when at our restaurant where we're gonna use these to serve all our food we're gonna have to have extensive training with all the chefs on how to actually pack them down in there and also we can make our own i can do it i feel like we're gonna like i want we our

chefs got to be able to cook i feel like instead of food runners we need food launchers you know what i mean like we need people whose main job is stalking the stalking the cannons and shooting the cannons we can't have these chefs it's like dude we can't have these chefs. It's like, dude, we can't have these chefs cooking and then also taking firearm safety class over here. They're holding knives all day. They know safety. And also, it would be very easy to get chefs to work at a restaurant if we said you also get to shoot the food at the customers. I don't think so. We need the chefs to all be able to explore their culinary skills to find ways to package normal food into a cannon. How big is our restaurant?

It's 100 to 150 feet long. It could be real narrow, though. narrow though well okay so hypothetically like if we got some sloppier food if you're like the front row and you're shooting a meal to the back like is everyone getting fucking sprayed um i mean we could just do like a round restaurant no that's where our poncho business takes off oh no the umbrellas there it is umbrellas yeah these people have to catch their food and hold an umbrella at the same time they don't have to if you want to get wet feel free so our cooks have to sit there as well they have to cook their food figure out how to package it into a t-shirt cannon get down on one knee put the fucking bipod mount out lay down fucking hold their breath before they

pull the trigger get the fucking person they want in their crosshairs and then pull the trigger and then get back to cooking what the fuck are we doing here i mean and after a year of working there you get a gold camo on your gun too so shut up bitch incentive to stay you're paying for the experience oh i don't know if people would pay for that experience. I'm not gonna lie. I just don't. I don't know who would pay for that. Every dinner is $1,700 so we can buy a new cannon with every

single customer. I want the $1,700 cannon strictly so like the people in the front row just keep getting hit with it because it can't even reach bleachers. The first people are like, oh, sorry, Doug Cannon. Here, we'll try our other $1,700 one. Oh, sorry, Doug Cannon again.

Hope you're hungry. Do you think we get a little mini cannon and there's bread at the table? Yeah, for kids. And you just hold the piece of bread up, though, and they launch butter at you? Oh, one thing that does actually exist. Have you ever seen salt guns that kill flies and shit yeah yeah get that for salt and pepper is like you're

shooting this is all right let's normalize let's normalize that just for every day though like everybody instead of having a salt and pepper shaker in your home you get a little pistol of like the salt and pepper so it's like like, oh, I'm like making a beef stew. Just like. And then now you buy both of those. Package deal here. Nineteen ninety nine. You know what we're going to throw in for you? The condom gun as well.

You're welcome. Oh, little three piece for you. You don't want to get those mixed up. That's a lot of small pieces and crevices. And they're designed to look exactly alike. Good luck. How's this balloon doing on my chicken breast dude alright

it is Wednesday my dear I'm gonna fuck you Brian how do you get milk out of a crab give me milk now mommy fat matches solve world hunger can I get this vagina animal style funny as wonderland either way i'm sweater ow that came as an orgasm that's like an orgy my guy what's up sluts the olympics are a fraud your word is reichster baby you're gross anywhere close to

my butthole he is just eating right through your bottom self trying to low-key penetrate you i shall not yeah i shall not walking around just shitting himself all the time trying to have sex with a woman gun to the penis what you need brother white jesus curvy down there just blow it knee cancer not organs fuck you ratatouille it is wednesday my dude welcome back to another episode of this wednesday my dudes episode 92 uh zach's out so the inaugural zachary jedediah kirschner draft is going to happen this week it's been a long time coming we kind of missed a few weeks where we should have done it but we're back we got a reminder but what's the middle name oh yeah yeah for this week checks out checks out hey what's up peeps i missed you of course here i also missed you and puma's in the background of my video if you can see it's kind of dark in here but

yeah no that's that bird that you're trying to hide the identity of but uh you know before we get into the draft go on how our weeks were but what's your emoji first cory uh i'm gonna guess yeah yeah slightly yeah i'm going saxophone is my energy. Not for that reason, which you would think. I'm going to guess you experimented playing a saxophone with your asshole, and it didn't go well. Close. Close. I tried. I'm going to guess you experimented playing it with your butthole, but it went well. Oh, even closer.

Warmer? Definitely warmer. it with your butthole but it went well oh even closer warmer definitely warmer uh no so i'm shocked you guys should have said it uh when you think saxophone immediately dave matthews come on or kenny g well i don't think i would have thought kenny g until like last week fucking kirsten's like that i i don't want to even get into that that was that whole thing was just so hilarious and we weren't even there just like ridiculous anyway um no so saturday night claire and i went out for dinner and then we just went to mario's in south side for a drink, a little nightcap. They have touch tunes there.

I feel like I mention touch tunes every week. We need them to sponsor us. We're standing there. We're just having drinks, whatever. Crowd watching. I hear... Hold on. I have the list of what songs we're playing. It was ridiculous. Okay, Ants Marching. Normal recording comes on.

Classic. Claire and i were like oh great like we love dave it's great it's it's ants marching and then next came on one of the nickelback songs and i can't remember what photograph it wasn't photograph it was a different one oh this is how you remind me rock star that one this is how you remind me i don't even know if that's what it's called but yeah that was really good and i was like damn claire they've got heaters on today like come on those two back to back great and then ants marching a live version comes on immediately after so three songs two of which are ants marching and then i go get a drink i'm coming back up i'm like this is this is a long live version and also it's dave so live they do

really long live versions i was like this is a lot longer than i thought i get up and claire goes oh yeah no this is a second one like it came on like this is a different live version that they played it's the fucking it's the john mulaney bit it is it really was it was so funny and then you could see everybody's mood change it was exactly what it what he he describes in his bit because i i like looked over the edge at mario's like you because you have the balcony and you just saw people they were like is this like how many times has this played has this been twice and I was like this is three times man and they got they got cut off like they cut the song off after the third live version but man Claire and I were just dying laughing, watching. We were trying to like look around the room to see if we could get like who it was. But the thing is, is there's like four levels to Mario's and also two different buildings.

So it's like they could have been anywhere. And it was just it was great. It was like it overshadowed. I didn't want to go too long with my update because we went along with the intro but i gave that update before i even said anything about the eagles that should tell you how much fun saturday night was i thoroughly enjoyed it i mean that song too the intro is just very quick and iconic so you'll know when the song comes back on again every time yeah but the live versions every one they draw out the intro so that's why it's like a lot of drums a lot of slow build and then they hit it and you're like oh here

we go anyway rooks how was your weekend uh it was good uh my rating was uh the two little uh chicks dancing next to each other. The twins. Did you have a baby? Two babies? Yeah, I did. Crazy weekend. But Friday, just cooled it. Calm before the storm, because Saturday was my friend Lauren's birthday.

So we went out. We had brunch at, I forgot the name of the place. Some Italian place. Me and Dirty Dan. We were mad litty super quickly. I guess it's because I don't think I drank last week and like, I don't know.

Brunch, it was hitting different. Also, they had on top what? I'm too sober, man. You told us to go down in one week. Two weeks sober, man. chill um just got his chip um but now um congrats but they had like and super dangerous for them to do they had mojitos on their all you could drink brunch like what the fuck are you thinking how many people do you want to die in this restaurant and why am i one of them um but now i had a bunch of mojitos had a great brunch uh then we just bopped around dc a little

bit went to um we went to our friend's place and then we went to el techo which is a really fun bar um after that i needed a breather and dirty dan had the idea the amazing idea of I'm gonna buy a table tonight which nobody said they really wanted to stay out your boy by the time I left El Techo I was fucked up and I was just like oh my god I need to eat food or else I might die so I go back Dan's staying

here Dan comes back he's like alright you good to go in like an hour and I was like what who's coming with us? Cause we were with a big old group for our friend's birthday, but they were all like dying down. They were like, Oh,

we're not going out. So Dan told me our two friends, Johnny and shout out Jimmy John's. Um, they both come out with us. Dan bought us a fucking table at ZV Zebbyby's garden i don't know how to fucking say it which is like a super lit place we go to all the time we had a fucking um our table was right behind the dj booth that overlooks the entire floor so we had like the coolest table in this place

and it's just four dudes just having some fucking drinks and dancing together. It was ridiculous. It's a good time. It was fun. I had a great time. That's why I put the dancing thing because I was dancing around having a great old time. But, oh, man. By that point, too, my body was just like, hey, motherfucker, you've been drinking for 12 hours. You're two weeks sober. Come on.

But I was like like the bottle girl came up and was like oh do you guys want me to pour you a shot for the first round and I was like and Dan was like fuck yeah pour that shit like Dan's like all fucking jacked up dude I've never been so like I've never been so close to puking in like such an

embarrassing fashion like I took it and was like standing behind the DJ booth and I'm just like I'm like fist took it and was like standing behind i'm behind the dj booth and i'm just like yeah like i'm like fist bumping and you can like you can physically see me trying not to throw up like it was really embarrassing but after that i was fine had a grand old time um danced the night away and then um and yeah so i just a bunch of people came over to watch football games first game was super boring. Go Eagles, I guess.

But it was so fucking boring. Oh, my God. Football was bad this weekend. And then, yeah, that was pretty much it. Had a grand old time, though. But yeah. Would you say you had a high flying time? Go birds. Probably not. That was a grand old flag. You're a high-flying time? Go over.

Probably not. That was a grand old flag. You're a high-flying flag reference. Sorry, guys. Clearly, you don't listen to the flag song that often. Shout out, Claire. Go ahead. Brian, how was your weekend?

My emoji was the rabbit. Have you ever heard the show Alice in Borderland? No. It's more of Brooks's All alley it's like sort it's like based on a comic sort of um so if you haven't heard about it and you don't want to ever watch it i'm gonna ruin it right now because i'm gonna tell you the ending because it's entertaining so okay so tune out people who listen and then tune back in like a minute um so it's like sort of like squid games and there's like people that go they like they get taken to like this other world at the very beginning that they don't know like

how they got there they're like just in japan and then there's something happens and they're somewhere else and they have to play games or they die there's like giant lasers just shoot them from the sky and like the whole first season that's like sci-fi and they're trying to figure out what it is and like they sort of figure out something and they're like they beat a couple games and the games are all like the deck of cards and it's like there's a bunch of like references to like alice in wonderland hence the name but they keep going they keep going keep going whatever blah blah they make it to the end they beat all the cards and there's like the final game or whatever and there's just like some chick and they play

croquet because i don't know alice in borderland wonderland whatever um and then she's like all right so you want to know how wild this happened blah blah blah she's like all right well it's there's this uh where you're actually in the future and this is all vr and this is all just a game and you're all just rich and uh humanity got bored and we're just playing a game they're like that's crazy blah blah and she's like yeah i'm just kidding that's not really and then they're like freak out and they're like whatever and they come back and they're like so what does actually happen she's like all right so actually there's aliens they took over and this is the one way that we can do to solve it blah blah and they're like oh there's no way and then she's like yeah i'm just kidding and she does it a third time and then some other thing about like

the world got overgrown from like grass and like global warming or whatever you're like i don't know what's gonna actually be real because all of those are like what you're expecting it to actually be at the end and they like fake you out three times and then she goes and she's like well no you're actually just in the hospital and you're just insane and then it like shows him in the hospital and it like really leads you down that way that that's what's gonna happen for like another 15 minutes and then he finally snaps out of it and like doesn't kill himself because that was like the point of like that game i guess was like she was just going to be crazy and convince you to kill yourself and that's how you lose the game but he doesn't kill himself and somehow wins the game and then it flashes back to the very first

episode where they're like in japan and something happens. And during the game, they always to reference like fireworks when they like got shifted over to that world. And so they're all looking in the sky saying, Oh, it's the fireworks again, but it's actually just a meteor that hits the middle of Japan and just kills everybody. And the people who make it out of the game are like the three people who

survive. What the fuck? It was such wild last episode and it was the second season and i didn't know it was gonna end so it was like the series finale and i was like all right this is cool oh is this just fully ending oh it's not ending okay oh it's ending oh it's not ending oh it's ending again i did like five times and then i had to look up afterwards like there's not actually more episodes right and they're like no that was the ending i was like oh it was roller coaster dude so if you want to watch a show that you know the ending of now

yeah i'll definitely give it a watch hold on is this the first is this the first recommendation burns giving and not an recommendation that's why cory asked about unrecognition i said i mean sort of but not way to fucking go though and like the first time you give a recommendation you spoil it for everybody way to fucking go man what is it great something in borderlands alice and borderland so alice because alice in wonderland borderland because the place where they go is sort of called Borderland and then also the main character's name is Irisu and if you say that with a Japanese accent it sounds like Alice a little bit

so there's a lot of like homage to that stuff in there second recommendation I started watching Dragon Ball like the original series the very first episode he gets shot with a gun and hit by a car incredible I'm on episode like five yeah you gotta stop like the original series. The very first episode, he gets shot with a gun and hit by a car. Incredible.

I'm on episode five. You gotta stop telling us what happens in your recommendations. You guys should watch this. Here's exactly what happens. There's 600 episodes. Obviously, he doesn't die in the first episode. He does die later a lot,

but not in that one. Yeah, I'm in San Diego. I'm going to Hawaii tomorrow. It's gonna be a good time. So, rabbit. Rabbit. Love it. God damn it.

All right. Zaddy Draft. Should we call him to give us the order of the draft? Oh, that'd be so good. No, we cannot call him right now. He said he's at a work event, which would be really funny. I feel like Rooks isn't thinking about the funny factor here. Okay, fine.

I'll just call him. Whatever. Did you think it was going to be funny? Have you processed that yet? I mean, he answered our emoji text a second ago. 20 minutes ago. That is true. Should I say his phone number live on the podcast so everyone can call him?

1-1-1. Six. 1-1-1. One. I'll give him one number every week. Wow. That's actually...

That's great. No shoddy answers. 100% he answers. 100% answers. Hi, this is Zach Kirshner. I'm unable to come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, number, and a brief message, I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks, and have a good day.

At the tone, please record your message. When you've finished recording, you may hang up or press 1 for more options he's gonna be very confused by that voicemail. Did you hang up? I'm excited about it. Oh, not yet. I will. That's going to be an interesting voicemail. Honestly, that was the best thing we could have done.

He said call again. Yeah, we're going. Hello? Hello? can you hear us yeah I can hear you we need the order for the draft oh okay cool oh man Corey Rooks Brian got it the order thank you bye thank you I love you you cut him off he said I love you Brooks, Brian. Got it. Thank you. Bye. Thank you.

I love you. You cut him off. He said I love you. He said I love I love you too, Zach. I like that he understands that's his role and he doesn't hesitate. You can also hear the excitement in his voice too, so you know he actually loves that role. Yeah.

Alright, Corey, you're up. We're doing what? Four rounds snake draft and then one of them mentions at the end yeah yes sir all right all right boy i feel like it would be stupid to not pick his diet at one right like like that'd be absolutely the dumbest thing i could do uh i have to take his diet like it's it's just, it's the obvious pick, but it's the obvious pick for a reason. It's superhuman. It's, yeah, it's the closest thing to a superpower that you could have. Granted, I think, and write this down in your notes, Brian.

Well, exactly, because, well, that's a little bit even darker oh I guess mine's pretty dark I was gonna say we'll see how long he lives and if 20 years from now 30 years from now five years from now question mark we'll see but write it down in your notes because I know those things live forever Brian what am I writing down

track when Zach dies yeah check back when when Zach dies oh my god this is a fun start to the zach we'll update this episode with if this should have been the first pick or should have been the last pick it'll be a memorial episode we can keep playing the day he dies have you have you seen the like recording of the one radio show in England when the queen died? Where it's like an EDM song that's going really hard and the beat's about to drop and it stops for seconds. The queen has just died and then just comes back into the song right away.

No, but that's actually sick. That's going to be Zach. Play a show at Zach's funeral, bro. These people coming to his funeral. Why the fuck are they talking about t-shirt cannons in this fucking ridiculous restaurant man don't worry you hear zach's voice for five seconds later in the episode um i will close off my first overall pick with uh love you zach sorry about talking about your death as the first pick all right it's a great pick it's just jesus that's a it's a crazy uh we took a vacation there

um we we do talk about his funeral a lot so it kind of makes sense we talk about all of our funerals a lot that's true all right so with number two overall i'm gonna go with um his love for and ability to control the aux cord um first off was my number two i've never seen someone more excited to be at the helm with it like anytime someone asks me like yo take the aux i'm like fucking crap like now i have to add shit to the quay i have to go around i have to try to get the mood for everybody like god fucking damn it zach is like seeking out that responsibility and like to his credit he does a great job he's an avid toe tune or not toe tunes

Jesus Christ shout out fuck oh my god for anyone who doesn't know if you live under a rock our one friend we were at Penn State used to always do a little bit called toe tunes where he would

record him playing the guitar on Snapchat. To record, he would use his toe to press down on the record button. Anyways, Zach's an avid user of Touch Tunes. He lives for it.

He breathes it. He does a fantastic job. That's the second overall pick. I hate both your picks because I have very similar ones that I don't think I can do, but I, I still want to try, but I won't do in this one. How are you going to phrase your second pick? Rooks? What do I write down? Zach's love for an ability to use the ox okay i want i want to note

on my big board i had underneath diet at two ox cord ability and then i put parentheses brian may combat this because of our ireland uh send off he gave us but i agree yeah there needs to be a big asterisk on anyone's ability to use the ox if they play ratlin bog three times in a row it's a long song to begin with all right i'm gonna pick uh his humanitarianism because he's a big advocate for cereal every single saturday on instagram in the morning friday friday come on every single friday i'll let it post on friday in the morning he posts somehow a new cereal every single week that's the most impressive thing i think he ever does yeah hold on okay are you taking how how bridge this gap for me of humanitarianism he takes his cereal posts marginalized groups of cereal and gives them a platform on his very famous Instagram okay so just say you're drafting

his fucking cereal story notes then his humanitarianism and serial advocacy i have a similar one wow i'm not shocked i'm sure we all had a serial stories on our big board no his humanitarianism yeah shut the fuck up shut your fucking mouth what's your next pick i don't even want to hear the rest of your explanation you're not gonna like the next one his humble beginnings of becoming a milkman that will sleep with your wife so he's the only person i know that one um would sleep with a lot of lives probably but also drinks milk out of a glass bottle and i think those are the two things you need to become and fill like that role in society and we need more of those people there's not enough of them anymore

it used to be a big deal and it's not now so like again his advocacy for this marginalized group milkmen just uh they need to make a comeback they're on the like the endangered list of types of people so he's really doing a lot for the world like i agree that zach's a good person i just hate this bit so much. Also, can I just say, you literally look like, you know in horror movies when the lights go out, and then you just see someone's face come into frame a little bit? You look fucking

terrifying, my guy. I know I'm watching fucking Sinister. What the fuck are you doing? What's the fun fact of this B&B, Brian? Oh, it's not that dark. And it's not a B&&b i'm at mike's place um but the room i'm in the fan won't turn off if you turn the light on and it's also stuck on like high so it'll sound like a jet engine and i'll be freezing if i turn it on perfect so you're you're stuck with the horror movie i'm gonna just get like a post-it note and just put it over your fucking thing because it's scaring the shit out of me.

For my second pick, I'm going to pick Zach's ability to slug down Red Bull vodkas. I've witnessed it in person. I've witnessed it at Lollapalooza. And I've witnessed it at the bars. And that guy is a fucking dog like I love me an RBV and like like you know they

do hit but in reality like at this age two RBVs I might be in the fucking ground like two of them I might be fucking dead Zach will have like 14 of them and be just like oh yeah i'm just drunk like i'm just fine i'm not going through anything physically so i think it's three boxes of annie's

mac and cheese really drowning out yeah exactly like he's just built different but specifically with rbvs that's what i'm drafting because it's like it's an again he's super human like it's not it's unreal to me to watch him drink fucking rvvs the way he does it's a good pick that's true all right that's true um i'm gonna go with i have and this is similar to brian's uh serial one but i'm gonna go curated instagram so i want to branch off of the uh the serial ones if you look he has like yearly stories and it's like his insta his instagram account is like very well maintained like if you go onto his profile one obviously i gotta check this out now obviously great pictures but like he has he has organized stories so cereal's been the one for last year plus he i think he brought it into this

year but he did have on there like food and i think music maybe at one point so like when you go to his page it just looks clean it looks nice zach i know what you're doing and you're doing it well you know i feel like somebody should tell you that that influencer lifestyle just trying to get on milf manor yeah seriously i respect the hustle yeah that's a good lighting too by the way brian right now so thanks it's really you can see all my features this one's better it's just straight top down the instagram or brian's brian's lighting zach's instagram is like is like you said it's very well kept burns lighting is horrid yeah we don't there's not a remote for this fan in here so i can't really you're stuck with this

for today it's just uh it's just uh and you know what you know what you're gonna get costco member and serial guy funny and uh accurate you know you should have drafted he has 365 followers and 365 following wow great ratio also i did forget i knew this if you click that random dog link it's just a gif of a new random dog like curated like I'm entertained like it's it's a website to me like his profile is a different website than Instagram like it's great

his profile is an experience yeah it is it is and you know what uh I feel like we haven't talked about it that much so there you go Zach play this on repeat um for my third pick i am going to go i'm gonna go uh weekend face times i feel like oh they're yeah i feel like they're definitely i'm trying to get the ratio right because you know we miss weeks sometimes and but i think i at least

i know i at least get one once a month on a friday night or a saturday depending on if he's doing anything friday night or saturday um and i appreciate it because it's usually like a nice little uh nice little catch-up we're both generally hung over or drunk uh or both and uh and we you know we do our catch-up we talk about our weeks we talk about bets. It's nice. It's a good friend time to have. It's a good quality of having a friend,

so keep that up, Zach. That's my positive one. The rest get negative. I went to FaceTime to see if I had a million from him. My FaceTime only has two recents, and one's from him and one's from my mom. There you go. Nice.

Good for Zach. Now I'm going to check mine. I i'm gonna check mine i'm gonna check mine again under good ratio um what round are we on round three rooks you're okay um i'm gonna go with um his um vibe with me when we dance together okay so it all started how he makes me feel in my loins when we dance together it all started a long time ago in a galaxy far far away in um delaware at this thing called firefly and we went we went in um zach was zach was tossing me up and i would catch it with a little whoa and then he would toss it really high and then I'd have to watch it for a few minutes and then I'd catch it in whoa and you know that

chemistry just kind of stuck we showed up to Lollapalooza without even a mention of it he did it I caught it with a whoa we fast forward to this year at the holiday party he tosses it up when we're out at the bars. You know what I caught it with? A fucking whoa. The kid just gets me when we're on the dance floor and you know, we just got that chemistry and I just, you know, it just works for

me. That's all I can say. Fire. You just have a little bit of love for him. I appreciate that. Yeah. His humanitarianism is just really like it's just really out there man but yeah i'm gonna pick uh i'm gonna pick our dance vibes i got you all right i got two in a row and i'm gonna try to not disappoint you but it might happen um we've talked about his love for touch tunes but specifically the amount

of money he probably owes touch tunes and the amount of debt and how much he's going to be paying them back for the rest of his life. I think there's probably like a 75% interest rate on those on that currency he gets. There's no way that's deflating in value. It's definitely inflating in value. I don't know that inflation is bad. He's losing a lot of money. I've never met anyone who spent more money on touch tunes, but also doesn't like going to concerts. He says he doesn't like spending money on music, but will spend it on touch tunes.

That's a good point. Every time. Yeah. Always. Which makes no sense. To his credit, like I mentioned, like aforementioned um we went to firefly and lala palooza together and music festivals kind of just wear you out with like live music a little bit i will yeah i will say that but he said he won't go to concerts he said like concerts i know

i'm saying in general like concert is live music i'm saying like especially when you see as many people as you see there like I can I can understand it is what I'm trying to say you've been to two festivals in like five years so I know I'm just yeah that's not it's a lot man okay I'm a man of the world okay

you ever heard of Cyprus that's what I thought yeah it's in Greece right yeah it's in Greece alright that's what i thought it's increased right yeah it's increased all right i had his iron stomach written down but i feel like that just goes with his diet i feel like that's the first one i'm sorry i can't really do that um his nicknames for things i have a quip or a thing a jingle whatever listen to this the baby food slap aka the girthwood Fap, aka the Buttwood Gap.

He just has nicknames for everything for some reason, and they come out of nowhere, and they're not common. It's not something anyone else calls them. He just has nicknames. Massive shout out to Jay Michaels. Jay Michaels for Jersey Mike's.

I'm not going to lie. It's one of my favorite things like i've said j michaels multiple times since that pittsburgh trip it's too good it's it's great yeah like i don't think jersey mikes didn't need a nickname it's a pretty quick name to just say but i love it so nicknames off the board. That's a great one. That was a good one. I redeem myself. Good.

For my last one, I'm going to go with his singing. So on the pod, on the pod, how many recordings do you have of him singing? And they slap every time. They're in the intro. They were in both intros, I thought. Or maybe it was just this one I got I got one I can play for you like in frass

will be frass either way that's like 100% that is an absolute slapper like certified hood classic bars on bars on bars like appreciate you his singing on the podcast has been flawless

and when you pair that with him holding the microphone in his legs impressive very very very impressive i think rooks is a crush on zach based on all these responses everyone's calling him a humanitarian bitch don't fucking don't come at me because i like when he throws me the low and you're over here like talking about his deep personality traits bitch shut your mouth are you saying like dancing and with him and when he sings to you so i don't i don't know sings to us collectively i want to be i want to be in here we're in a quadruple all right cory final pick make it good man i'll i don't want to draft this but because of the draft he did for me i have to

draft this i'm gonna go his name i'm gonna go his first name i'm gonna go z-a-k it's three letters it's it's it's easy it's um i enjoy seeing it on the phone when it pops up for that facetime you know yeah great uh great name zach really appreciate what your parents did there all right unbelievable honorables do you uh let me run through what we got first uh so cory picked his diet his instagram his weekend facetime and his name rooks picked the love for an ability to run the ox his rbv slugging ability his dancing vibes and his singing i picked his humanitarianism for being a serial advocate his humble beginnings of becoming the milkman that makes your wife cheat on you

his touch tunes debt and his ability to create nicknames so yeah anyone got an honorable mention? I have a few I got a couple I'll go first his home decor is like

when I've stayed at his place at lala the clock the giant clock is so fucking put together i want i have a fucking cardboard cutout of goddamn hasbulla in my living room you're welcome that is that is next to a fucking table that someone like five generations ago in my family like made with their bare hands way back in the day like my place is a mess okay this is shit show you walk into Zach's and it's like it's like a display

you know what I mean like it's like you're in Ikea this is like the room you walked into exactly yeah better more crate barrel than Ikea I only shop at Ikea that's why I'm saying that I really want to buy him another clock he has like a 10 foot tall clock in his room i just want to buy him a clock every year get him 12 clocks and he'll have one for every hour military time dog we go 24 yeah there we go there it is but yeah his his home his home decor is fire Flames. He drafted this for me.

Eduardo Escobar, Eddie, Eddie Esco. We just hit some dingers with him. It was a great time. Also Polo G. Shout out Polo G. Every time Polo G comes up, he goes Polo G, which is just like fire. Great set that we witnessed together at Lollapalooza. I don't mention his height i'm shocked like oh i know i didn't want to do it no i guess cory's not

no i was gonna i was gonna draft zach's arrogance on his height but i left it off the board we have my last two are like combine shit like his height and his fucking his bench press, dude. Not that this past holiday party, but the holiday party before me, Burton and Zach, we got a sweet pump on before the rehearsal dinner on Friday. And we were just like fucking around and like bench maxing. And Zach's bench press was actually like kind of fucking crazy. I don't know if you also just has like 40 pounds on us, though. So, like, yeah, it makes sense. If you eat that much mac and cheese, you be pushing stuff around also Zach I have to interrupt we have a question from a listener um real quick do dogs have four legs or are their front appendages

appendages their arms hey Cooper because I think they are different. They're called that, but the front, they're different. I feel like you can call them. They're not like their hind legs. They bend different. I'm going arms. I'm going arms because you've seen how Cooper plays and reacts.

He does that paw thing. He's using that as arms. That's true. Those are arms, my guy. All right, we went two arms one legs you're welcome dylan we'll move on we don't have time to go oh two arms two legs i got you i got you the voting side yeah yeah i got it yeah i was like cooper did not lose a leg yeah there you go um cory you got any uh honorable mentions or more yeah uh his love of shy town bust down um somehow every time we go

out i always feel his massive hand slapping me in the chest when we're at a bar at some point like i feel like i feel like he always maybe it's a height thing where it's just like a nice resting place like my i don't i don't shoulder, chest area, or dancing. He always whips it out when we're dancing. And I think I'm going to go into cardiac arrest every single time. He whips it out? I wish. Next question.

Only for the milk ladies. Man knows how to host. Kind of goes with, well, you talked about his decor, but I feel like when we went to chicago or every time we go to chicago we like have activities but not too many and like enough laying around time so like uh good host and then i had um his reba shirt oh i had that enough it was fire that's true that's a good one not because because I like it, but because he loves it so much.

He loves the thing, yeah. He's obsessed with it. Okay. My only one that I had honorable mention that you guys didn't say was his disloyalty to bands. Because he will play one different song from every different

artist he's ever known when he gets the aux cord. He doesn't stick with anything. He only plays the hits and then we'll move on. And like, like you obviously like what you have polo G with him or whatever. Like there's bands he'll go see or artists he'll go see specifically. But when he does have the aux, he's like very agnostic to one specific person. But that's I mean, that's he loves chaos that's kind of what makes him goaded with it because like yeah was it a listening party for these bands like

i mean like i got my favorites yeah all right boys that was the draft uh zach i hope you didn't hate us too much um as an outro zach just listen to the whole thing like don't turn it off after cory's first pick okay because the rest of it gets better well yeah yeah get to my two picks and they'd be really excited yeah all right i got a special thing for the outro it's 40 seconds long i don't know at what point it's good but i know it's good at one point so just bear with me ready great setup good at one point. So just bear with me. Ready? Great setup. This is BBC News. We're interrupting our schedules for the following announcement. Buckingham Palace has announced the death of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

A statement from the palace said, the Queen died peacefully at Balmoral this afternoon. The King and the Queen Consort will remain at Balmoral this evening and will return to London tomorrow.