I've Had It - 19 Crimes and Counting

Episode Date: March 31, 2026

Another Duggar is behind bars and FEMA directors are out here teleporting to Waffle house.Order our book, join our Substack, shop our merch, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast.Thank you to our sponsors:StitchFix: Stop shopping and get styled today at Stitch Fix dot com slash  (hadit) to get $20 off your first orderMonarch: Achieve your financial goals for good with Monarch, the all-in-one tool that makes money management simple. Use code HADIT at https://monarch.com for half off your first year.Follow Us:I've Had It Podcast: @IvehaditpodcastJennifer Welch: @mizzwelchAngie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumpsKiley Josey @kileyjoseySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready, one, two, three. Patriots, gay, triots, they triots, black triots, brown triots, and triple trumpers can do wet pumps. Welcome to America's Top DEI podcast. Pumps, what have you had it with? Well, I had a different habit to start the show, but I have successfully had it with my iPhone, which I know I bitch about my iPhone. a lot but I have the unique ability that I have in the last hour deleted both my ability to call on my iPhone and my ability to text those boxes are have disappeared from my phone I don't know how I did it I don't know if I'm magic but I can suck up a wet dream and I have done it with my

iPhone and so I've had it wow yeah that's you really are you really are did yourself. So you are unable to place a phone call or send a text. Correct. Receive. What's your plan of action? Okay. Well, here is my plan. My plan is I'm going to go to the studio and have Seth fix it. That's smart. That's my plan. That's exactly what I would do. Yeah. Yeah, because I think it's just like a reinstall situation. I tried to get in my settings. I can't figure it out. Like I really, I'm at a loss. How do I continue to do this all the time? Yeah. Yeah. It's, have you noticed that they've reorganized, we may have talked about this before, but they've reorganized the text messages and the most recent download. And so then you have like,

unprogrammed, unknown contacts. And it goes to one place. And it's not in your main queue. And so I ran into a couple of people and I'm like, I've texted you like four different times and I open. I'm like, I do not have a text for me. You must not have my number. They pull up the contact. I'm like, no, that is my number. And they're like, this is so weird. It says delivered.

And I'm like, it's not in my text. And then I notice that there is an unknown text section that you have to go into. And again, this is a situation where you have people having meetings that they shouldn't be having where they think, okay, let's. make the iPhone better. Really what they're doing is just let's do new things with it. Right. And they do new things with it and the new things complicate the situation. Like I can't even discuss the downgrade of the photo album from like two or three updates ago. I just, they've overcomplicated it. And improvements that overcomplicate something that is supposed

to be smart are not improvements. And I've had it with that. I mean, I've had it too. I think my smartphone makes me feel dumb. And maybe I am dumb, but I can't be the only one this happens to. I mean, probably with the regulatory, yes. But I just, I've had it with the iPhone, had it. Yeah, yeah, I've had it too. And then you think about the people that are Android users.

And I'm telling you, like they have this pride about being an Android user. And I used to kind of tease them like, oh, you have a green text. And I felt like an elitist using my iPhone. And then Tim Cook made a trophy for Trump and kissed the ring and, you know, all the things that are just horrible that we're all living through. And the Android users, I think I owe a big apology to. I kind of feel the same way. Yeah. I kind of.

And I feel like. They were on to something a long time ago. Yeah, they're going to laugh for sure. Yeah, I think so too. All right. So I have had it with something that's happening to me quite a bit. So when I'm on, when I'm not recording and not reading the news so that I know what we're talking about on our political podcast, IHIP news. If I'm on social media, I don't even look at the people I'm following.

I just go to the curated page for me. Right. That has a bunch of different things. And I have a combination of tennis instructors doing little instructional videos about how to get more top spin. I have French bulldog videos. I have a lot of punch the monkey. I have, it's all happy things. And that's why I like to go to that particular page.

There's nothing political in it. And so I'll find it really cute. like great looking dog, super photogenic, great smile. And I just think, oh my God, I am in love. And then I'll send the image in our family DM, or send it to one of my sons. And I'm like, this dog is so attractive, so photogenic. You can tell this dog has an incredible personality.

By the way, he's interacting with the camera and its owner. And then one of my sons will respond to mom, that's AI. Oh my gosh, they're doing it with dogs? Yes. Yes. And it's like just a really cute like French bulldog or a fluffy French bulldog or something. And I like, God, this is a great looking dog. Like this is, wow, I'm so enamored.

And then I find out it's not real. And then there's these videos of like these dogs that like jump into the snow and then they come back out of the hole and pop their head up. And I was so proud. Like I felt like, God, that dog is fearless and that dog just jumped in that snow. And then came back up and was like, peekaboo to its owner. So I send that. And I'm like, I wish our dogs would do this.

And then there's a mom. It's AI. And it's just video after video after video. I mean, I knew when they had the French bulldogs doing the high dive competition. Right. We all knew that. I knew that was AI. But now it's just like there's this whole trend of AI right now where it shows a little child, like a toddler that,

maybe three or four. And there is a mess on the wall, like maybe a crayon all over the wall. And the kid is facing the wall. And then there's like a golden retriever behind it. And there's a series of these, all different kids, all different golden retrievers, all different acts of domestic terrorism. And when I say domestic terrorism to any young mothers out there, you know that your children domestically terrorize your actual home with markers, crayons, whatever.

And so the mom is like, why is the dog, you're in timeout. Why is the dog standing there with you? And the kid like adorably goes, because he picked out the color. And the dog is sitting there like this. And so I've sent this to my family. Like, oh my God, this is so cute. AI. And it's like now this world where we don't really believe anything.

Like there's a whole conspiracy theory that Benjamin Netanyahu's dead. Right. Because he's using AI. I know the Trump administration, you know, remember that speech where Trump was at the Oval and he had an extra finger and stuff. Yeah. They're using AI with leaders. And so that's the dangerous aspect of it. But just from a personal aspect of it, I'm falling in love with toddlers, which is a new one. And Golden Retrievers and cute dogs doing cute things. And it's all fake. And this is just the way this is. escalating and accelerating, you can see how problematic all of this technology is going to be for us. Well, and here's the deal. And it's just the ability to distinguish it. Like your boys can immediately distinguish it. I can't. Like I've sent Kylie's shit that I was serious as a heart attack about. And it's AI. And so figuring out what is AI and what's not, that to me is terrifying because obviously we've seen of late in our political sphere people are not I mean you're not always the best

and brightest out there on the internet so it's like it's hard and it's getting harder and you hear all these stories so I've had it with AI kind of had it with AI AI the AI bubble I mean it's just like a fucking had a lot of jobs you know everybody's I mean you just hear layoff after layoff and it's AI and it's just like fucking AI who's Who needs it? Wasn't some guy saying like a super oligarch saying, oh, I couldn't parent without AI? What the fuck? Sam Alman.

What is wrong with you? It's just, it's gross. So listener on our other podcast, our political podcast, IHIP News, I can't tell you how many time it's probably been 10 times. Pumps is like, I have an episode, I'll lead it. So we go into it and we get to like the third point in the episode. And she'll say, Kylie, play the video. And that video goes up and then like eight seconds into it, Kylie and our both like, this is AI.

I know. It's bad. Stop. Some of those, I have, I am not good at figuring out AI. You are a PhD and not being able to figure out. I should lead the club of Can't Figure Out AI. I am the president of that. Congressional hearing.

You could be. Yes, at a congressional hearing, yes, a famous. podcaster, pumps, and America's greatest legal mind. Even she cannot distinguish between AI and a real video. No, but it's, I feel somewhat betrayed, though, after I have developed a relationship with a canine or something adorable online. And then it's, I'm told it's, it's fake. And then I feel some sort of like, really, I just sat here in a,

and I felt emotion in all of this for something that isn't real. There's, I don't know. When this keeps going over a mass, mass, mass scale, I think it's going to be really damaging to our humanity. I agree. I agree. All right. Welcome to I've had it.

I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. HBIC for Beaver. I haven't said that in a while. I just want to remind everyone. I'm the head AI fraud, not detector. and a beaver. And the head tech at the Genius Bar at the Apple Store.

Can you imagine if you went into the Genius Bar and I was that helper? Yeah, I think, yeah, there would be riots at the mall. Riots. Okay, Kylie, how are you? I'm good. On AI, Jen, it's getting so much better that it is getting harder. and it's these really mundane clips. It's not it's not Trump doing Cirque Day Soleil like it was.

You know what I mean? Which that would get Angie. Those are the kind of things Angie was getting gone. We had to trash can. I have news episodes that we were eight minutes into filming. And then Trump doing a triple lutz. That's the whole episode. winning a gold medal, the Olympic snow pumps.

That didn't happen. But no, you're right. It's more mundane stuff that seems believable. And my kids can detect it. Josh and I cannot. And it's something that's really like earnest. And like the re like when Instagram was good, when social media was good, when you saw sweet connections to humanity, connections to creatures, connections to nature through your phone.

And it was like, oh, okay, we're all still connected. We're all still there. And then you fall for it, something mundane, but heartwarming. And then you find out that it's fake. then I just feel such a betrayal. Just one last thing on this, too. Angie, before she had adopted any Frenchies, we were all on tour and we were sitting around having lunch.

And she was trying to find one she wanted. She wanted this long-haired thing. She was, I found the one I want. I've never seen one like it. It's so unique. She shows us, and it's a video of like a video game looking dog. Oh, I remember that. It was so obvious.

Even I knew that. We were like, Angie, that's not real. I was like, what? That's the one I wanted. Okay, I've got some reviews. This one is five stars from Scotty titled Spot On, and he says, love to see women I would typically write office, MAGA, proving me wrong.

These intelligent red state women are the ones who could save this country. And with a bunch of clapping emojis, he says, Jennifer needs to run for office. That is so nice. That is so nice. And you hear that all the time. Would you consider it? No.

I don't want to run for office. I don't. I, um, there are people that are better at running for office than I would be. And I am interested in the things I'm interested in. In order to run for office, you have to take on a lot of policy and delivering for people is boring. Right. And I don't know that I have the bandwidth to,

mire myself down into the boring policy of some sort of road work improvement and the budgeting thing for it. The politics that we cover is the splashy stuff and I shine and talking about all of that. But the truth of the matter is a lot of governing and politics is really, really boring. And I don't know that I have the depth to do that. And I appreciate everybody thinking that I do. but I'm this is a character defect in me. I think that I would be like some boring shit. And what are we talking about today?

Potholes. What's Marjorie Taylor Green doing? How can we fuck with her? I don't know that I, I appreciate it. I do, but as I play the tape through, I can see myself getting incredibly, uh, bored with a lot of the really important things that politicians do.

that don't make the news, that make our lives better, a lot of bills that have all of this budget policy wonky stuff. And I don't think I have the mental capacity for that. So I don't think I'm a good candidate for those reasons. And now that I've said this online, should I ever do a 180 and decide to run again, my opponent can play this exact so that I will lose. So I will lose the election.

We'll say from the horse's mouth, she thinks improving people's lives is boring and what's no part of it. I'm going to kind of say that. I want people's lives improved. I do. Can we just, you know, here's, and here's the thing that's so bad about this. This puts me in bad company. Trump has to have people make the news entertaining for him. We talked about this on an IHIPP news episode.

And of course, could I mire down and get it? out on shit. Yes, I absolutely could. I just think there are people at it that are better. I think there's just better, smarter, policy-driven people that can do a much better job than me. To be fair, Jennifer, I believe that if you were in office, because I don't like the Trump comparison, if you were in office, you would hire the most expert, expert, wonky. I mean, you would have the most authority on the subject in every moment. meeting and you would listen to them and you would welcome feedback that disagreed with you. That's what I think.

I thank you, Pumps. Thank you very much. Pumps. I probably would do that. In my interior design business, I always have like the best subcontractors that, you know, like let's get the best experts in here to figure out how to handle it. But I appreciate it. It's so nice, but I just don't want to be a politician.

I don't want to have to go to work at Congress. You know, here's the deal if I did. Can I come to work with you today? Yeah. I hope we see Mike Johnson in the hall. Should be trolling around the hallways, hanging out in the restrooms, hanging out. When we went to the DNC, she was like, I want to go up to where all the media row is. I want to see what all the journalists are doing and what the politicians are doing.

She loved it. She wanted all the scoop of it. You'd be a good politician, too, pumps. Oh, my God. No. Although Oklahoma County is looking for me to run. run as they are kiley let's run pumps pump pump for state house pump it up if you want to pump up your life how about how great would it be if like your commercial if you just it was like it started

pump up the jam and then you just kind of came up the cream pump up the jam and you just busted out eight counts pump it up and then you could like take a blindfold and be like justice is blind and you could do this whole little dance i think it win i do That's where the artist has to make a statement and be like, we do not want her using our songs. We do not want using our stuff. It's embarrassing. I think pump up the jam people. I can't remember who's saying that.

I think we'll be all on board with it. Yeah. That was a great song. That was a great song. Now it's going to be in my head all day. I've been having this random songs are getting into my head and I can't get them out. So you know what I do that's so evil? I tell it to Kylie.

She has it too. And she'll sing it, just the one catchiest part, to send it to me and away from her. Yeah, it's, yeah, that's diabolical. Yeah. Because I want to get it out. Pumps, did you ever, I would always go to clubs when I was younger in college. And when pump up the jam came on, it was like, skirt out to the dance floor, just, I mean, just sloshing my vodka around on the Oh, yeah, you have to dance with the drink in your hand.

And I would do it with the smoke. I dance with the stick too. Yeah. Yeah. One hand was a sig and one hand was a cocktail. Those were the day. And you're just sloshing it around blowing smoke in everybody's face. And you loved it.

Like more carcinogens, more. Little hit a pop-up now in his second hand smoke. Oh, totally. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Yes. I mean, that's the universal popper. Ww, want, want, want. Here's the thing that I,

love to dance. I think it's so fun. I have no musicality and I'm the worst dancer because I can't stay on the beat. And so as much as I love to do it, I'm really like I'm not self-conscious very often, but dancing, I'm self-conscious because I know I'm bad at it. So can we roll out like TikTok dances now for the I've had it TikTok page? No, I'll do it because I can, I like, nobody has to tell me I'm a bad dancer. Like I checkmark. So if we want to just do it to make fun of me, I enjoy that kind of thing. So I'm all in. Okay.

Jen, do you want to head up some news stories? Yes, I have some news stories I want to share with everybody. The first one is, and this is about a week or so old, and we have been remiss and reporting on it. As everybody knows, the three of us are diehard, Oklahoma City Thunder basketball fans, reigning champs, reigning MVP, Shea Gillicus Alexander. And so they won the championship. We were all at the game. It was high times, high times in the 405, which is the area code for the OKC.

The mayor, David Holt, he was on a permanent high for months on end. We had parades. It was incredible. And so as you know that when a team wins something, they get an invite to the White House. And so when you are a independent thinker, a free thinker, a Democrat, an independent, a progressive in a red state. Your politics gets so diminished because of the electoral college. You never have politicians come to see you. And you just kind of have to go with the masses. And so you never hardly ever get a little win ever in your state until this team,

this national championship team. Trump invited them to the White House. And they said, and I'm paraphrasing here, go fuck yourself. Actually, they said we have a scheduling conflict, which I interpret as, don't fuck yourself. If you wanted to go, you'd go. Totally. You think if Obama's president, they're not going over their ASAP to drain threes with him. I mean, 100%. So, Kylie, put up the headline.

We have some news right now. The Oklahoma City Thunder will not be visiting the White House to celebrate their 2025 NBA championship win, breaking from past customs of NBA champions heading to the White House to celebrate. This year, according to the Atlantic, the thunder will not be going to the White House, will not be meeting with President Donald Trump. They cite timing issues. They said, quote, we have been in touch with the White House and are appreciative and grateful for the communication we have had, but the timing just didn't work out. Now, Donald Trump's election in 2016 has disrupted the past precedent of NBA champions visiting the White House.

For example, the Golden State Warriors in 2017, and again in 2018, declined the invitation from the President of the United States to visit. And now you have the thunder declining the invitation as well. This is such a win for people like us and blue dots and red states all over the place because we have to deal with so much. You never get presidential candidates that come to your state for a rally because it's just a foregone conclusion, it will turn red. Here's how election night goes for somebody who's, all three of us are very politically active,

right? And we follow the news cycle and all of this stuff. We campaign. We have the signs in our yard to have stickers. We get merch. We do everything we can do for the blue ticket because we see firsthand the dangers of MAGA supermajorities or before MAGA, Republican supermajorities. This is what happens. You get up. You're excited to go vote. Then you get back home and you're watching Kornacki or John King, somebody, right? you know, one of these guys with a magic wall. And you're flipping back and four channels. It's like, okay, right now the following states are, the polls are closing in Oklahoma.

And it goes, do, do, do, do, do, breaking news. Donald Trump wins Oklahoma. It's immediate. And it's devastating. And so kudos to the Oklahoma City Thunder for not being fascist collaborators, for not going to play paddy cake with an administrator. that is removing, actively removing, black history from all pillars, national parks, the U.S. military,

all sorts of places. Because this is a league that is, you know, I think it's 80-something percent African-American athletes, really, really high. And so I really love that they aren't going. And then just another personal grievance that I need to air. And if those of you that don't follow sports, I apologize for what this will make this short.

make this short. But there is this announcer and her name is, is it Doris Burke? Yeah. Doris Burke. She is an NBA announcer and she spreads propaganda about Shea Gilligas Alexander. And she refers to him as a foul merchant. Yeah. Which means that he is intentionally getting all of these fouls or faking people into fouls. This guy just broke Wilt, Chamberlain's record. He's on a streak of like 20 plus points NBA history. Yeah. And so whenever I see somebody and we talk about basketball because I have this little Oklahoma City Thunder Beanie that I wear in New York and it's been really cold and people say you like the Thunder.

I love the Thunder. SGA is incredible. And they will say, oh, he's a foul merchant. And I was like, that is Doris Burke propaganda. You are propaganda. That is. bullshit. And so I've had it with that. And that's something that Pumps is so into sports. So I want you to be impressed that I have a sports grievance pubs. I'm very impressed. I was shocked. I mean, you even name-checked her. Yeah. I thought you'd be really proud of me. I'm very proud. And my boys are super MBA obsessed. And so this is something I bond with being a hashtag boy mom, being the only hashtag girl in my family, I have had to become interested in things that I wasn't normally interested in, which one is NBA basketball.

And once you get into it, it's really fun and they're so athletic and the league is fantastic. And obviously, Oklahoma City Thunder is fucking incredible. National champs, fuck you, Trump. And I just want to say Doris Burke, stop with the SGA propaganda. you are propagandizing the youth to diminish somebody's incredible run, and you need to retract that statement on the record, on the record. And we will welcome you to, I've had a podcast to do it, to make your retraction because clearly at this stage,

you, by letting this out there, you are poisoning the minds of NBA youth fans. against somebody who is going to be legendary in the history books. History is not going to be kind to you, Doris. And you have a chance. Just skirt. She has a chance. Jen, there's a shirt. I'm going to have to get it for you that a lot of people in Oklahoma City have.

And it's like an anti-Dorris Burke T-shirt. Oh, and then when I tell people Doris Burke as a propagandist, then they're come back to me as, oh, a woman not supporting a woman. And I'm like, here's the thing with that. The women supporting women is one of the most abused things on the planet. I support women. Of course, of course I do. I don't support propagandists regardless of the gender.

So I've had it with all of that. All right, listener, do you ever find yourself scrolling, zooming in, reading reviews, looking for the perfect outfit? And finally, you settle and you have this cart full of crap that you don't like. I mean, not buying it sits in your closet. Well, Stitch Fix makes all of this so much easier. A personal stylist sends pieces that match your size, style, and everything in your budget. No guesswork, no stress, and your guaranteed compliments. And here's how Stitch Fix works.

You share your size, style, and budget and get matched with a real, human stylist who gets your vibe and I absolutely love my stylist she sends personalized pieces that I love and the fit is flawless it saves me so much time and I get so many compliments finally looking and feeling confident is so easy and there's no risk at all get a personalized fix box straight to your door and try it all on in the comfort of your home plus get a free try on for your first fix Listener, stop shopping and get styled today at stitchfix.com slash had it to get $20 off your first order. That's stitchfix.com slash had it. Listener, tax season, it is so miserable, but it happens to be one of the only times people actually look at their full financial picture, earnings, spending, savings.

and I know that I start looking at all of my stuff and I'm like, God, I could be so much better, quit doing reckless spending, quit buying crap you don't want. That's why I'm so excited this year that I have simplified my finances with Monarch. Monarch is the all-in-one personal finance tool designed to make your life easier. It brings your entire financial life budgeting, accounts, and investments, net worth, and future planning together in one day. dashboard on your phone or laptop. Feel aware and in control of your finances this tax season and get 50% off your monarch subscription with code had it.

I have two goals this year. I want to focus more on my financial planning, retirement accounts, and I also want to pay off all of my debt. And so I'm really focused on those two things. And my monarch dashboard keeps me completely laser focused. They also have a. bill split feature. So splitting bills is easier than ever and no need for an additional app. So listener, achieve your financial goals for good with Monarch, the all in one tool that makes

money management simple. Use code had it at monarch.com for half off your first year. That's 50% off at monarch.com code had it. There is a guy that works for Kank. Kankles McTacocco Tits, Trump. And he works with FEMA. Pop up the headline. FEMA official claims he was teleported to Waffle House. This is real, you guys. Kylie, play the clip.

A teleport an incident, two of them. And I end up at a Waffle House like 50 miles away from where I was. That man who is, yes, talking about teleporting to a Waffle House, is Greg Phillips, and he now holds one of the most important jobs at FEMA overseeing the office of response and recovery. It was an incredibly frightening moment to experience yourself in your car flying through the air. I tell you, teleporting is no fun. Phillips is a far-right activist, and he now helps determine how the government responds when

disaster strikes, coordinating billions of dollars in search and rescue operations and emergency aid. He was appointed to this position in December, and a CNNK file review of Phillips' podcasts and social media history found a long record of extraordinary personal claims. We tracked down what we felt like were three million non-citizen voters. Election fraud conspiracy theories and violent rhetoric towards public officials. You said we know that three million illegally voted. Do you have the proof? Yes. Will you provide it? Yes. Can I have it? No. In January 2025, after Trump took Phillips was discussing a Trump executive order that targeted intelligence officials who had questioned the veracity of Hunter Biden's laptop before the 2020 election.

Phillips said this. I'm going to find you. I'm going to track you down on the beat the living snod out of you. He then talked about former president Joe Biden. I would like to punch that b*** in the mouth right now. He is a nasty crappy human being and he deserves to die. And I hope he does. Phillips first rose to prominence promoting false claims of widespread voter fraud in the 2016 and 2020 elections. The unfounded claims were widely disputed by both courts and election officials.

On multiple occasions, Phillips described migrants crossing the southern border as an invading force and urged people to arm themselves. The war is here. They want you dead. They've come here to kill you. Be well armed. Take care of your family. The person making these remarks is now in a position of public trust at an agency where judgment, credibility and calm decision-making carry life or death consequences. A FEMA spokesperson told CNN, this is so silly, it's barely worth acknowledging. DHS, FEMA, and Mr. Phillips are focused on the critical mission of emergency management and ensuring the safety of the American people.

So I say this a lot on our political podcast, and I think it's worthy to repeat here. We all saw January 6th. We all saw Trump 1.0, the bleach, scrum by the pussy, wanting to hang mic pints, et cetera. So him winning again exposes a real cancer in American culture where in the electorate, a lot of people didn't care about that. And they wanted to celebrate the villain. They wanted to celebrate a felon. They wanted to celebrate a cheater. They wanted to celebrate a violent person.

And so they voted for him. And then now that he's in government again, you see the moral collapse of not only the oligarchs, but of the people who want to go work for him. Because anybody with integrity or decency would say, I am not going to work for that man. I am simply, I morally have massive issues with him. I believe in the Constitution. I believe in democracy. He clearly doesn't. Objectively, he doesn't.

And then you have these nuts. All that remains are nuts. Only crazy people want to go vote for him in this. Why the Waffle House? Let's dive into that. Why Waffle? What working theory do you all have on? Why are we teleporting to Waffle House? I'm so traumatizing for him. If I was teleported somewhere, I don't think Waffle House would traumatize me.

Now, I'd rather go to IHop if I was teleporting now, but here's the deal. Really? Your I hop over Waffle House? Hang on. I hop over Waffle House. Yes. I love I hop pancakes. Love. Love, love. Kylie. In fact, I go there sometimes at night for dinner. By yourself? Yes. Do you sit at the bar or a booth? No, I get a booth. I would be Waffle House. My theory is, and I've teleported to Waffle House before, blackout drunk. Right. That's what it is. I've been out. Someone drove me. I appeared in a Waffle House. So like, that's my theory. I agree. 100%. He was fucked up. He was fucked up. That's the only explanation for that.

or alternate explanation it never fucking happened okay that's that's a great alternate he made it all up he's making shit up just like the three million votes right he's just literally freeballing and pulling shit out of his ass for clicks yeah and now he's like maga government mag is great out yeah yeah okay a long time ago in the early days of this podcast pumps and I did a lot of reporting on the Dugger family. And for those of you that don't know, the Dugger families are these uber religious breeders. And they bred to the tune of, I think it's 19 children they had.

They had a reality show, the Duggers and the Duggers and me and the Duggers have more kids and on and on. And they homeschool their kids. And the curriculum looks like it's literally like here. Here's history class and here's the hunter-gatherers and they're hunting the dinosaur. Like it's wisdom. Literalets. That's what they call.

Wisdom booklets. Yeah. And so the Dugger's kids, as you can imagine, that upbringing has not behooved them. The abstinence-only purity culture, not tethered to reality, magical things. thinking, Iron Age thinking, has not equipped them for impulse control in adulthood. And originally one of their sons was charged with a bunch of pornography, right, pumps. And then I think the sisters had claims that he had sexually abused his own sisters. And so now we have another Dugger that is in trouble.

pop this up. Joseph Dugger of 19 kids and counting arrested for sexually abusing a minor. The accusation against the seventh born son of the sprawling reality TV family came five years after his older brother was arrested on similar charges. A statement from the Bay County Sheriff's Office on the 31-year-old's arrested indicated that he has been charged with lewd and lascivious behavior involving unlawful sexual activity with a minor. His arrest comes five years after his brother, Josh Dugger, the eldest of the Dugger's 19 children, was arrested on charges of receiving and possessing child sexual abuse material he was convicted in the sentence to 12 years in prison. I'm shocked that Trump hasn't pardoned him. That just came into my brain right there. Okay.

According to the sheriff's office on March 18th, Bay County investigators were contacted by a detective with the Tontatown Police Department regarding a report of past sexual abuse after a 14-year-old victim participated in a forensic interview. Speaking with authorities, the girl discussed several incidents involving Dugger that she said occurred during a family vacation in Panama Beach City

when she was nine. Police said that an investigation of this the incidents led them to learn they took place in 2020 while the family was staying at the residence on Danny Drive. The victim reported that Joseph Dugger, the Dugger's seventh born child, repeatedly as the girl sat on his lap. As the vacation continued, he is alleged to have asked her to sit next to him on the couch and covered them with a blanket during this time. Dugger manipulated the victim's underwear and graced her genitals. Dugger would also continue to rub his hands on her thighs. Sorry for the graphic.

content that we cannot sanitize, especially in the Epstein era of the United States of America, the horrible sexual abuse allegations of the Dugger family. Well, and you know, here's the thing. This is just based on my experience and, you know, looking out and seeing all this sexual abuse of children, You see it more in these uber religious environments. They are not taught about no. It's just so sad to me. This is just so sad.

It is because these girls, and it can be little boys too, they don't know, A, can I say no? What is this touching? They're told, well, you brought it on yourself. The victim shaming is unbelievable. You won't be believed. You're full of shame because you participated in sex. Like, it's a whole mind fuck.

And, you know, I thought we were moving forward with me too, but we have gone so far backwards from that that, you know, we have this whole Epstein class of people that apparently everybody knew about and we still don't have any accountability. And it's just I worry about the chilling effect of girls and boys. but particularly girls coming forward because they feel like they won't be believed or they will be dismissed or they will be bullied. But in this particular family, you can see how somebody that ignores the rules of sex education and only teaches abstinence, this is what happens.

It's just you see it more and more in these uber religious cult-like situations and it's just, it's extremely sad. And I would just state that the problem with a lot of this is that as a society, we need to address the abstinence only lies and how much they endanger children. Because in abstinence only, all they're taught is you cannot do any of this stuff. They're not taught about consent, proper consent, improper consent, age of consent. they're not taught about agency and autonomy over their bodies. They're only told all of these things are dirty, all of them, even consensual making out

among high schoolers. Right. In the Dugger's world is sin, devil, beaisal bubs coming to get you. And then all of a sudden, magically when you're married, to da, it's godly. And that's a real mind fact. I mean, that's just a, it sets up girls and boys. But I will just say one thing, pumps about girls not wanting to come forward. It's worse with boys because of the societal expectation that boys should like it.

That I think even the president of the United States has said something about a male victim in his past when he was a New York City resident that, oh, well, I'm sure he really liked it, one of these teacher things. And the problem for young boys is that, there is this social construct that even if it's rape or even if it's sexual assault, that take it, you know, at least you got some. So it's even worse. And I think that as we unpackage all of this fascism stuff and the large Christian nationalist component to it, the most co-opted group of our electorate, they're positioning and their thinking regarding sex.

is problematic from leaving these kids vulnerable that don't understand what consent means. Don't understand that it's perfectly normal to want to make out, mac down, get a hickie, you know, all the stuff that we did. Yes. And all of this also extends to homophobia. The abstinence only is the anchor that leads to, shaming sex and then they start quantifying which sex is the worst. So it is something culturally that when our ancestors came over here and colonized the United States of America,

we got the crazy Christians. It's always pitched us that we came over here for religious liberty. And I think that's a little disingenuous. A lot of them came over here because they wanted to be more religious. And we got the crazy Christians. America has had a crazy Christian problem since its inception. The one thing, the common link that people think when they think about Americans that are not Americans is how religious of a culture we are. We are very religious culture and this abstinence only stuff, not only does it not work. It's dangerous. It endangers children very, very, very much not to have open, candid conversations about sexuality and consent. And even after you're married, in a lot of these situations, the wife is being raped, but she

doesn't know that. She knows she doesn't like it. She knows she feels violated, but nobody's told her they've like, if your husband does it, it's fine. So, I mean, it is really a disturbing problem that is, it continues to happen. It's really sad. Okay. Kylie, let's Let's go to some voice memos from our listener. Okay. First, we've got one from Tommy. Hey, ladies, it's a listener from Wisconsin. This message actually specifically is for pumps.

On your last podcast, you mentioned spending five minutes with Ted Cruz would be better than being on a cruise ship full of Disney Christians. Well, I just have to say that it is very bold of you to assume that Ted Cruz would last of four five minutes. I'm guessing it's more like two minutes and 32 seconds, which also includes foreplay, the actual event going down, cuddling afterwards, smoking a cigarette, and possibly writing the fridge for something to eat. I love all of you very much. Keep up the great work. Tommy, you're right. Tommy nailed it. That was such a miss on my part. I mean, Ted is a gywriter, quick shot, all the things. So thank you, John. Yeah, for sure. Okay, Kylie, who's next?

Okay, up next we've got Chris. Hi, ladies, Gatriot here. I'm just going to cut to the chase. I have absolutely had it with unsolicited advice. I go to take my dog out today. I see this old man, very hunchbacked, by the way. Just pass me by, and he has a dog off of the leash. Whatever, he's passing by, don't care.

But then he makes eye contact with me. And for whatever reason, I must have a very inviting, tell me everything face or something, because he comes right over with his unleashed dog and starts giving me unsolicited advice as to, oh, well, if you, you know, take all this stuff off of your dog, they can listen to vocal commands. Meanwhile, his dog is nowhere to be found. Like, where the fuck is your dog at? And then also, I can tell that my dog was very uncomfortable because he literally goes to pet my dog, and my dog starts whimpering and backing away.

Sir, who the fuck are you to give me advice? Also, put your dog on a damn leash, and don't give me advice about stuff that you don't even have under wraps. This is insane. Don't fucking talk to me. I don't need your opinion. And figure out your fucking hunchback. Go to a doctor. I don't know what the person is.

Anyway, love you guys. It's so true. Unsolicited advice is the worst. And I have found myself in the throes of doing it. And then like two or three sentences in, I'm like, what are you doing? Why do you care? Why are you involved in this? I'll give you an example.

So it's probably about a year ago. I'm playing pickleball with all my friends at chicken and pickle in Oklahoma City. And there are these people on the court next to me. And they are using the wrong type of pickleball. So there's outdoor pickleball balls and indoor pickleball balls. And they had the wrong ball. I don't know what came over me. Like everything I've had it with, everything the caller has had it with, I was.

I walked to the side of their court. And I have an extra ball and I go, hey, hi, I just wanted y'all to know you're playing with the wrong ball. You're playing with an indoor ball. And you need to be playing with an outdoor ball. And they said, but we're indoors. And I said, yeah, I know, but this is the surface is an outdoor surface. The indoor ball you're playing with is like for a gym at a church that's been converted.

So here's the extra ball. And then they start asking a lot of follow-up questions. And it's probably, you know, about 10 seconds into I'm like, why the fuck are you not staying in your lane ignorant twat? Why do you care what pickleball they are using? Why is this your business? Why are you the pickleball leader, know it all? I just was so disgusted with myself.

I think I lost every match after that. And I guess deservingly so. Deservingly so. Well, because I was just like, what an idiotic twat I am all up in their business about what kind of pickleball they're using. So I agree with the caller. Yeah. Thank you for reminding me of this because sometimes I do this.

I agree. I agree. And I need to cease at all times. I do the same thing and I catch my and I'll be like, I don't know why I'm telling you this. I have no idea. Like half the time, I don't even know what I'm talking about, but I just feel like I have to tell people. It's like, shut the fuck up. Just shut up.

I do it all. You really are the worst. I'm the worst. I have started telling like if somebody asked me a question about like when this happened, my new responses, it could have been last week. It could have been five years ago. I just don't know. I just, I fuck up timelines.

so bad that I've just given myself that out. Do you think this is early onset? We know I do. I have so many different things that I think are. But- Go ahead. I was going to say, but you know, last time we talked about it on the episode, I had so many people leave me comments that like if you're questioning it, you probably don't have it. So yeah, I do. It crosses my mind quite a bit.

So Josh and I, you know, we send each other a crossword mini. Yesterday I sent him my results. It was 58 seconds that I didn't send it to him. And then he sends his and it's eight minutes, five seconds and he just writes, fuck me. Usually it says- It makes a long for him. I don't know because I told you he's a victim of the clues. He thinks the clue, the people who make the crossword puzzles are colluding against him to

fuck with him. He gets super analytical about it. Here's the deal. Josh is super smart. I hate saying that. But he really, really is. So I'm surprised.

He is self-sabotaging because there's no reason he can't figure this out. It's just not. Yeah. All right. Kylie, who's next? Okay. Up next, we've got Brian. Hi, Jennifer Pumps and Kylie.

This is Daniel. I'm a gaitriot from rural North Carolina. And I have fucking had it. with people using religion in the workplace. So back in February, I started a new job. I had previously been laid off for quite a while. And then I log on to my first Monday morning weekly meeting, kind of like a kickoff meeting for the week.

And my boss looks out across the Zoom call and she says, we're going to start all of our Monday morning meetings with prayer, as long as no one has an issue with that. And so me being the new hire, I have been previously laid off. All of my financial well-being was riding on keeping this job. I didn't feel comfortable saying anything. So what did we do?

Every fucking Monday morning, for the entire time that I worked there, we prayed as a group. And first of all, I feel like this should fucking be illegal. But yeah, I've fucking had it with people using their position of power, especially in the workplace, to try to push their religion onto other fucking people. And I'm happy to report that I no longer work at that company. I found a good opportunity. That was the first of many red flags. But I just could not fucking believe that I had to sit through a prayer every Monday morning to start off. my week. Yeah. I mean, there's just something that compulsivity with religion is something that's so

ubiquitous in Bible Belt states that I'm sure people on the coast or international listeners are listening to that going, how is that legal? And it is so ubiquitous. There is just this people try to out religion each other and out pray each other. And it ends up being incredibly performative. And it has no real meaning to it. But I've shared this story before. It's probably a couple years ago, but I'll share it again. So in my early days as an interior designer, I got these clients. And they were building a really big house.

It was like a big project for me to score. It was probably like eight, nine thousand square foot house. And they were real hardcore Bible thumpers. Like the guy was, he had some sort of, he was like some sort of Christian DJ and he had, was real high up in the mega church and all this shit. And listener, you know. you know how much I despise this shit, but I was poor. And I mean, money was money.

And so I take the job and I thought they were just kind of, you know, I lived in Oklahoma, I knew Bible thumpers. So each meeting that we go to, I would show them something or pick out something or design something like, okay, for the crown molding. I think we do it this, we do this many inches. It starts here, it wraps here. And it was like, praise Jesus. Not like that's a great idea.

Everything was like, praise the Lord. And the Lord has spoken. And it was just the Lord has spoken. Crazy. It was bananas. Okay. So then the paint color, we get to the paint color phase. And literally it's like a warm white with beige undertones and then a warm white with gray

undertones. the two options and they're just tormented and it's written these kind of things when you get in these projects you just to live with it forever you get narrowed down to two it's common to have this kind of torment so i said which one do y'all want to do they're going to start painting tomorrow the painter needs the colors and he said well you know what i think we're going to do jennifer we're going to take this home and pray on it i knew you're going to say that and we'll get back with you in the morning and i was just like i just cannot fucking work for these people i just cannot fucking work for these people And then I think a couple of days later, something happened on the job site that was not my fault.

But this is a very common thing where the subcontractor messes something up. And they call the designer or somebody and they just start screaming. These Christian people, I've never had my ashtude out by a subcontractor, a builder, an architect, a client. Like I have this guy that was like the radio Christian DJ slash part-time pastor of a megachurch. It was rich as shit because the house they were spending was a few million dollars typical. And he calls me and he's like fucking and he's it's F-bombs. He's like the fucking trim carpenter didn't put the it's this many inches. Did you tell him?

Did you fucking tell him, Jennifer? And I was like, yeah, I can send you the email that I forwarded to him. It was all drawn out. This is on him. This is not on me. Well, the goddamn blah, blah, blah. It was Goddams and fucks and fuck me and all this shit. And I was like, I don't think I can work for you anymore.

I just don't, I think we're done. I think I need to quit the project. I'm firing you as a client. This project has to be over. And then he calls me later that night in the evening with his wife on the phone. And that's always, you know, whenever the husband and wife have to be on the phone together. Like he's a big boy.

He needs to apologize on his own. He doesn't need his babysitter on the phone with him apologizing for being a dick. And she's like, honey, do you have something you would like to share with Jennifer? Like a child. I, you know, I led, my wife and I led with prayer. And sometimes Satan gets a hold of us. And I just said, I really wish you guys the best of luck with your home. I genuinely do.

I am not a good fit. I am not a good fit for this project. And it was a shit ton of money. But there just wasn't a bank account big enough that I could go through that process. This was just when we were doing the bones of the house before we even got to the furniture and it was just I had to cut bait. I had to cut bait. Yeah. And it's hard to keep bait when you have like you have to have the money. Here's the deal. I wish I could say any part of that story surprised me. I wish I could say, oh my gosh, that's just that's not

the norm. That's exactly the norm. It's exactly it. I've had divorced clients who do the same shit to me. It's like, I want to pray over this decision. And then it's like, you know, They're fucking everybody on the street. You know, they're just horrible, horrible people. And it's just like, spare me the fake outrage over not going to Sunday school on Sunday. Like, shut the fuck up. Josh, my husband will have criminal defense clients that are charged with the crime. And they'll be like, well, what we're going to do is we're going to accept Jesus again for the get resaved.

The resaving. And Josh will go, that's great for you. But the judge is not just not going to give a shit about. that. Like that doesn't mean anything in court. I'm glad you're personally doing that, but that just means nothing. All right, Kylie, let's do one more caller. Okay, the last one we're going to do is Brian. Hi, Pumps. Hi, Miss New York fucking city. I've sort of had it with that. It's Brian from Oregon, the one who had it with bare feet on an airplane three years ago. Well, bitches, I'm back with a

cameo. And by the way, congratulations on your gay award. I can say that because my husband's gay. I have fucking had it up to my nostrils with people at the grocery store who shove parsley in their schnaz for a sniff test. Well, first of all, I don't want your boogies on my parsley. Second, this is store-bought parsley laying in a box with ice shipped from Mexico, not known as Farm in Tuscany.

So now I have to scoot the box out and take my parsley from the back to avoid all the nastiness. I witnessed it three times in the past two months. I swear to God. And for the permanent record, this seems like something pumps might be. do as part of her Karenism. Love you, Pumps, love you too, for for, kaka.

Here's the deal. He knows you well. He knows me so well. I can totally see you cramming that shit right up your nose and doing a big sniff and then putting it right back down. He, he, he picks up what you put down. Yeah, totally. And I have even done the canolope. I don't get parsley because I don't cook that much, but in the summer I get cantaloupe and I hate picking out candlelip because I fuck it up every time. But I will sit there and do that. And then I realized I have my whole nose when I get in the car has like dirt on it from shoving it and so many camelopes. So is there a sniff technique? Yes, picking out it. I watched YouTube videos like if it smells sweet, like if it smells like the inside of a cantalote. Stop, stop. You went on to the World Wide Web and

Googled how to pick the correct cantaloupe. Yes, and watermelon video. Yes. I watched several. I mean, I I love cantaloupe. I love watermelon. Like I will eat one. I love, love it. But I can never get a good one. Never. So I mean, I went deep in trying to find this. Yes. And I didn't know. I never knew this about you. Yeah. I know you like cantaloupe and watermelon, but I didn't know that you put this kind of effort into picking one out. Yes. Because I for like four years, I got shitty ones like, cut it open and threw it away it was so bad let me ask you this like the pre-cut cantaloupe is that not as like it because it kind of has it weird aftertaste and it kind of gets mushy in certain spots what about honey-dew you like honey-dew I do like honey-dew but not like I like cantaloupe see I prefer a honey-dew over a cantalope I do I like a honey-dew better I would rate them as follows watermelon honey-dew cantaloupe in the mellown category. I think I would go

cantaloupe watermelon melon. Wait. So canaloupe first, then watermelon, then honeydew. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I I prefer a honeydew over. I just didn't know that is there a whole subculture of people that engage in this type of internet deep diving about how to pick the correct proof? Well, I mean, I don't mean how many views. But it had like over a

A million views, a couple of them did. It's like millions of views. People want to know how to pick a good cantaloupe. Okay. Now I'm thinking is it AI? The next time, no, I think it's probably real. I think there's probably a whole like niche to that. But because we're not growing it.

So we're we're having to trust whoever grew it. Right. But there is a farmer's market close to my apartment in New York on the weekends. They are set up every single time. Now, I particularly don't really know how to, I wouldn't even know how to begin to cut a cantalup. I'm not, culinary thing is not my, the seeds and all of that in it. I just, but the next time you're up here, you can go to the farmer's market because I would imagine that I think that the farmer's market fruit would be superior to the grocery store. Do you have any intel on that with your deep dives?

Well, no, it didn't really go into that. But I do, I stop at those corner melon people. Like on the corner, they'll have like cantaloupe and watermelon stands. I'll get them from there. Is it better? Yeah, I think it is. But then I don't know. You know, I don't know.

Because then I have them pick it out. Like the person that grew it, I'm like, pick me out a good one. So that tends to be better. Seedless watermelon or traditional watermelon. It has to be seedless. Like, I hate being like that, but I have to have a seedless watermelon. All right. Well, I just didn't know.

that you I didn't know that you were investigating and researching and educating yourself on how to pick the correct can is this an ongoing thing that you continue continuing education like you're continuing legal education no I'm cracked my skills this was about two years ago but I keep my skills home okay I'm I'm proud of you pops let me know like keep us updated like what worked It didn't work. Yeah. All right. Listeners, we'll see you next Tuesday and Thursday.

Listen up, Patriots, Gaytriots, and Natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever. you get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe, and reviews

so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caca! A little bit more enthusiasm. Caca! That's it. That's, that's...

Caca! That's the patriotism that this country means right there.