I've Had It - A Canksgiving Special

Episode Date: November 27, 2025

Not thankful for Canks.Order our new book, join our Substack, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast.Thank you to our sponsors:This episode is brought to you by Booking....com: Head over to https://booking.com and start your listing today. Get Seen. Get Booked on Booking.com.Apretude by Viiv Healthcare: Learn more at https://APRETUDE.com or call 1-888-240-0340.Branch Basics: Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code Hadit at https://branchbasics.com/Hadit #branchbasicspodAura Frames: Exclusive $45-off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/HADIT. Promo Code HADITFollow Us:I've Had It Podcast: @IvehaditpodcastJennifer Welch: @mizzwelchAngie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumpsSpecial Guest: Josh Welch @joshwelch_See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Booking.com. Since 2010, they've helped over 1.8 billion vacation rental guests find places to stay. That's Billion with a B. Head over to Booking.com and start your listing today. Get seen, get booked on booking.com. So are we supposed to start the podcast? Listen at Patriots. They triots, black triots, and brown triots. Pumps has abandoned us on this Thanksgiving day.
Starting point is 00:00:37 She has fled to Mexico City with her children for a well-deserved vacation. And I'm here with none other than my husband back in Action City in Oklahoma City. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Welcome, Josh, to I've had it. Hello, happy Turkey Day to all the listeners, all the viewers. Josh, what have you had it with? Well, now this is a humdinger. Okay. This is, as some of the viewers, listeners know, Gaytriots, Patriots, I've co-hosted on this show from time to time.
Starting point is 00:01:11 The last time that I co-hosted, we were in the throes of moving the princess, Jennifer Welch, to New York City. I was told, given rather short notice that I was going to be co-hosting. We were en route to the studio to co-host, and it dawned on me that I was wearing the same outfit I had worn at the gym, not realizing that the filming of this was going to be sort of full length, full body. Right. And so I sat through a hour and a half long session wearing knee high socks, short, short workout shorts, not realizing that all of this was going to be exposed. to the viewer and didn't get to properly dress. And so what I've had it with is the fact that I was sort of put Johnny on the spot without being able to address this with the viewer why I was wearing such a ridiculous get-up. And it was, I saw the video of it, and I saw a few of the comments.
Starting point is 00:02:16 It was, what in the fuck is Josh wearing? Because I had these knee-high socks that you've made jokes about that old people wear. I was okay a few things about this we before we went to film we decided we were going to go exercise first and so after we exercised we just ubered straight to the recording studio and Josh did ask me at the apartment am I going to be seen from the waist down at all and I said maybe it depends on how they set up the camera but I didn't really probe into it let me just stop you there that would be the sort of understatement of the year so I'm on the side table with my legs in full view, me with these knee-high socks, like short shorts, short workout shorts,
Starting point is 00:03:00 not knowing that this was going to happen. So I'm rendering these somewhat serious legal opinions about things, quasi-serious. All the time I'm wearing this get up. And I'm sure that any sort of casual viewer that just sort of hopped on is thinking, okay, what the fuck is this guy doing? Okay, it's not just any sort of casual viewer. Every other comment, I would say four out of five comments was, what the fuck is Josh Joan? What does he have any pants on?
Starting point is 00:03:28 But here was something interesting that I discovered that day, listener, and everybody knows my husband's rather vain. And so I noticed, we went to the gym together. He does like to wear short shorts. I mean, he's got good legs. Got it, flaunt it, what-evs, right? Okay. You mean, throw the Patriots a bone. No big deal there.
Starting point is 00:03:47 But I did notice that you wore compression socks. So I asked him just rather straight up. I said, are those compression socks? And you were like, oh, yeah, I love them. And then you immediately go, is there something wrong with them? And I go, well, they're kind of like old man socks, like hiked up. It was just a really interesting look, considering you really spend a lot of time curating your outfits together. I was so surprised.
Starting point is 00:04:12 And I support if you need compression at your age, darling. I support that. Thank you. I am so shallow that the thought that. that anyone would look at something I'm wearing and then have some hesitation about it. So that instantly sort of jarred some sort of insecurity in me. And I like a high sock because I've got these trashy tattoos from like the 90s that I got in Arkansas. And so I like to cover those.
Starting point is 00:04:39 Wait, that's a complete lie. You did not get those tattoos in the 90s in Arkansas. You got them when you were like 40 something. We were married and I remember it crystal clear. A couple of them were 99 maybe. No, not these on the calves. No, these were, you were 40-something years old. Anyway, these long socks I like.
Starting point is 00:04:58 And the compression, I think, does help with circulation. But I didn't realize it was the sign of aging that looking at someone wearing compression socks, you immediately equate that to kind of an old man. And once that dawned on me, I thought, okay, these compression socks are going to have to go. Like, I don't know that I can. Have you worn them since then? Yes, but not pulled up to that extent.
Starting point is 00:05:18 And in fairness to me, I was not told that this. look was going to be shown on the internet to hundreds of thousands of people. I didn't know that. Had I been given some notice of that? I would have adjusted my wardrobe slightly. I think our listener liked it. I think our listener liked it. Here's the thing. We put out so much content. And then how fun for them that they're, you know, like, oh, they're in New York, Pumps that town. Oh, the husband's subbing in. And then all of a sudden there's a wide shot. It looks like you're sitting there in your goddamn panties. That's exciting in Trump's America. And then I like to share that with Jennifer. I go, Jennifer, I look like a.
Starting point is 00:05:51 buffoon. And of course, she just gets this glowing look on her face like, I know, isn't it great? You know, it's like zero empathy for my presentation. Keep in mind, I do have a law firm that I practice at. So I'm on the internet looking like a fucking buffoon. But hey, it's exciting. I think it's exciting that I think it's exciting that you were reporting legal matters in your panties. Kylie, did you notice the, when you first got the footage, because the studio would have sent it to you to edit. What's the first thing you noticed when you saw the footage? And then please elaborate on the comments on YouTube. I'm so glad you brought this up because we had an incident like, I don't know, two years ago where Josh was mad at me because I didn't tell him
Starting point is 00:06:36 about his panties that he was wearing in that episode. Yeah. So I get this footage. I pull it up and he did it again. I couldn't believe it. I thought this must truly be a choice. So I didn't say anything. You thought I was going for that look. Yeah, I think you wanted the comments a little bit. I want to get spicy. And I do want to say this. I do want to give Emma a shout out and say, I apologize. Like, I'm sure I showed up like that.
Starting point is 00:07:01 And she was very smart, intellectual person and great guest. And I'm sure she was like, okay, what's the story here? So I did want to provide some context for the viewer and just sort of get that grievance off my chest. It's kind of set with me over the past few weeks. But I've gotten past it. I think it's fun. I think it's exciting for podcasting. I think it was a curveball and sometimes the mundane content that comes out.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Jennifer's husband's subbing. Oh, he's not wearing pants. I thought it was exciting and fun. Didn't you, Kylie? I did. I thought it was nice. And honestly, Josh, it's really good for our algorithm. So thank you for taking one for the team.
Starting point is 00:07:38 That's good. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. Let me tell you guys what I've had it with. So I've had it with something to do with my husband. he when he orders from a particular fast food restaurant on DoorDash somehow my phone number is synced with this taco shop so he's ordering his own meal that has nothing to do with me
Starting point is 00:08:06 I'm even in a different state I'm in New York he's in Oklahoma and I start getting text alerts thank you for placing your order at the taco shop I'm FaceTiming with him and this goes down. I got six notifications for your DoorDash order. And I, it wasn't even food for me. And I don't know how I'm involved in this relationship with you in the taco shop and DoorDash. I don't know how I get out. I don't know how to unsubscribe. I want to take a poll that says, I don't want to be a part of this relationship. I want, first of all, me hearing this makes me want to order tacos every day. Number one, that's number one.
Starting point is 00:08:51 Let's get that out. Number two, it's a little bit, I'd like to say it's a little bit of intentional payback for me dressing up like a clown on your podcast, but it's not. But I do sort of welcome the sort of like you enjoy the kind of, you know, the pettiness in it. I kind of do too. And the fact that I think you shared with me that you get a notification when the order's made, you get an update on the order before it's actually. actually leaving the store. Then you get an update when it's left. You get an update when it's
Starting point is 00:09:21 arriving. Then you get an update when it's dropped off. Okay, here it is. Hi, Josh Welch. Your order from the taco shop has been confirmed. Hey, Josh Welch, your order from the taco shop is being delivered. Hey, Josh Welch, your delivery driver has arrived. Hey, your dasher has picked up your order. Jason is approaching. Thanks for ordering. Please take this poll. All of this was within a 15-minute period, it's texting terrorism, and I didn't consent to this. That makes me so happy. I want to go in and amend every other account that I have to get you kind of C-Ced on this. So if you're tucked away in Manhattan, and I'm down here in the throes of Oklahoma,
Starting point is 00:10:06 I want you to be in the midst of some important meeting and get some ding-ding on your phone that is nonstop about me ordering some cheeseburger or some taco. And that would just bring my heart the biggest amount of joy and love that I think I could possibly ever receive. All right. All right. Welcome to I've had it, America's Top DEI podcast. Happy Thanksgiving to everybody. Kylie, how are you?
Starting point is 00:10:32 I am good. Happy Thanksgiving. Tell me. Let me ask you this. Did you get a light out there? Do you have a light? No, this is me, raw. That's glow?
Starting point is 00:10:40 Yeah, this is just my natural glow. You look good. I actually did a face mask last night. It looks good. Big Thanksgiving Day plans, Kyle. Let's hear about it. I have to go to Memphis, Tennessee. Ouch.
Starting point is 00:10:49 Yeah. So we're going to go from Red State to Red State to celebrate Thanksgiving. Well, that's a straight shot down I-40. So enjoy. Go eat turkey. Thank you so much. Have fun with a fan. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:11:02 I've got some reviews for you guys. Okay. Let's see them. This one is five stars titled Hope as a Blue Dot in a Red State. And they write, I'm a first-gen-American-born citizen who happens to be a blue dot in a red state. This podcast has restored a bit of hope that I'm. I and people who look like me are not alone. It's a breath of fresh air, and I'm so glad to have found it.
Starting point is 00:11:21 Please continue being the voice for those of us who feel voiceless. That is so nice. That is just so good that one thing that has happened since we started the podcast of we're building a community where people can fill camaraderie and safety and support. I think that's one of the main threads that I see consistently when I see people that recognize you and want to come up and talk to you is that they feel like their voice is finally being heard on the internet and that there's someone that feels the same way they do
Starting point is 00:11:54 about a lot of these important issues and that you're vocal about that. And that's exactly why I think you do this podcast is for people like that to feel a sense of hope and community with other people that are like-minded. Yeah. Kylie. Okay, the next one is five stars titled Refreshing
Starting point is 00:12:12 and Louisiana Liberal Rights, Man, how awesome and refreshing is it to hear a couple of southern or southwestern white women speaking the truth and not sugar-coding anything. You ladies are giving these maggots and the magacrats, their comeuppance and a taste of their own medicine, which they can't stand. Anything that gets their hidden panties all wadded up is music to my ears. Keep up the great work, ladies. It's true that MAGA people in general, they love to criticize and, you know, troll everybody in the minute you put a mirror up in their face or you troll them back, it is meltdown Titty Baby City. These guys are snowflakes of the highest order. You call out
Starting point is 00:12:59 any hypocrisy about their white nationalist dream and the way they vote that they actually like to watch athletes that happen to be black or eat in a Mexican restaurant. And you call them out for that. And they act like they are under attack. It's just pathetic. And I'm sure that there's little people everywhere that when they see those clips, they just get this big grin on their face saying, yes, somebody's saying these things that we feel. And it sort of gives them a sense of hope. I think it's important because what we're all experiencing is like this mass abuse by a narcissist and then his sycophants. And it feels so isolating and overwhelming at times. And then you can see, like, now we know that MAGA America First movement is built on a bot farm based in Nigeria and Russia, that it's all bullshit.
Starting point is 00:13:51 But you can feel like, oh, my God, they're taking over. And then you realize, no, there's a lot more of us. We just have a lot more to do in our lives. Like liberals in particular, we don't just sit on the internet and troll all day. And so you either have a bot that does that or the real full-blown cultists, like their whole identity is. like the Trump assassination photo. Right. And I think it's interesting I saw yesterday.
Starting point is 00:14:16 Marjorie Taylor Green, you know, she's resigning after sort of being in the throes of Maga hell for a week or two. And I heard this other commenter say, basically, I've been in the throes of Maga Hell for years. So you're getting one week of it and you're deciding to dip out. I go, welcome to the real world, which is where you all live day in and day out. So, and kudos to you all for fading the heat and bringing the truth. truth. Yes. Thank you. And I noticed that as soon as Fox starts browbeating us all the time, Kylie, I think you can attest to this. We get like docs with a bunch of one-star reviews. So do
Starting point is 00:14:51 me a favor, listener and viewer. If you have not reviewed our podcast, go and flood it with five stars. We're probably only four-star podcast to be quite honest. But I think you can go ahead and do a five for the country, right, Kylie? Go ahead and throw in my name. If it's anything to do with this episode or me in general. Talk about the compression socks. The compression socks and the panties. It's too bad we don't have a wide shot today because he does have on a really cute pair of blue jeans. We save the wide shots. We have a wide shot, but not one that peekaboo is under the table. This episode of I've had it is brought to you by booking.com. Pumps, I've got to say, if you're looking to grow your vacation rental business, this is the place to be. Booking.com is one of the most
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Starting point is 00:16:28 on booking.com. All right, listener, do you ever think about like all of the harsh chemicals in your cleaning products? And if you're a young mother and you have toddlers, you know, crawling around the house, those chemicals getting in their mouths and on their hands. If you're a pet parent, you think about your dogs absorbing these really toxic chemicals. This is why Pumps and I are so happy to share with you our new obsession, Branch Basics. Branch Basics believes your health should never be compromised by the products you use to clean your home. That's why they are on a mission to educate families about the hidden dangers and provide a better, safer alternative.
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Starting point is 00:18:53 Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Speaking of some of this, I have a news story tailored just for our guest. Okay. It's from Elle and it says people who repeat. post their workouts on social media have narcissistic traits according to new study and according to the research people who post frequently about their workouts display a clear primary motivation to boast about their looks or at least about the amount of time invested in physical appearance
Starting point is 00:19:27 okay this is a prime example of where I've had it blew the whistle two and a half three years ago and now the scientists are doing the research that confirm our findings a couple of points I want to make here about Josh. Number one, I noticed, well, my, our youngest son noticed, it showed up in the algorithm. Josh has this trainer at the gym who makes these hype videos of Josh working out with an abundance of hashtags. And one of the hashtags that they use, he uses Josh's trainer. And Josh is not like, this isn't a like a collab post.
Starting point is 00:20:05 This is Josh's trainer posting Josh. And it shows up in our algorithms, which I immediately shared in my story and put my husband the gym influencer when I get to see them. But in the hashtags, and I think Kylie and some of our Patreon members found this out, he's making this whole claim like in your 50s working out, you can look this good, look as good as my baby, Josh, right? But some of the hashtags are hashtag menopause, hashtag peria menopause. Kylie, have you noticed that? I haven't seen that. Yeah, hashtag menopause, hashtag perium menopause. I don't think that I've seen that either.
Starting point is 00:20:42 The only correction I would make, Kylie, from that headline is that there's no may in that before the narcissism. There's absolute narcissism, I think, that it's suggested. But, you know, it's this fine balance when you work out or you do something that you're proud of. Like you sculpt your body like I have, and you've worked hard at doing that. How much of that do you get to sort of show and not, you know, have too much swag or narcissism? How much can you just say, hey, I work out a lot? And here's a picture of me working out versus, you know, the flip of that is, oh, God, there's another workout video of Josh.
Starting point is 00:21:22 You know, what's the appropriate amount that you can sort of dip your toes into that without looking like a complete narcissism? Let me ask you this. If there was no no narcissistic exposure risk and if it were just up to you, you. Would you post your workout every day? I don't think I would every day, but I would maybe once or twice a week. A week, maybe. Let me ask you this. Would you be flexing your muscles in any of these posts? In the course of working out, I would be, but I wouldn't just be like in flex pose for the picture. Okay. But in the course of doing it, but it's kind of like, because I do it so much, it's kind of like back when we were raising our kids, you did it every day. So,
Starting point is 00:22:06 So you thought, okay, this is a good idea. Let me put a picture of my kids up, you know, in front of a pumpkin patch for Halloween or whatever it is. And so I guess maybe that's not being completely genuine because this is more about me, not my kids, but it's a balance that I'm trying to find. If you had a choice and you could post Outfoot of the Day and or my workout of the day, which one would you pick? And there's no risk of being called a narcissist or Internet ridicule. man that's a tough one some good outfits um but it would just that would be a single picture whereas on the workout i can post the video of the full body so that's a man in motion yeah man in motion so listen listen up ladies that's a real listen up ladies back off he's all mine all right
Starting point is 00:22:56 all right it's a really hard one okay um kiley what's next okay i've got a disturbing news story coming out of louisiana and it says a louisiana teacher sentenced to 41 years in prison for serving her students' cupcakes laced with her husband's sperm. What in the actual fuck? There's so many questions I have about this. Number one, clearly it was probably the husband's idea. He's probably some sick puppy, right? And then for her to go along with it is insane.
Starting point is 00:23:31 But how was this discovered? Well, not just that, but how was the semen? preserved to sprinkle on the baked cupcakes. I think she probably baked it in, Josh. Like when she mixed the batter, he's jizzing in the bowl. Oh, simultaneously. Sort of, okay. She's got her mixer going.
Starting point is 00:23:55 Wow, that's a lot. And he's over there, yeah. Kylie, do we have any other details regarding this? I do. So it says the woman is Cynthia Perkins, a former teacher from Louisiana. She was sentenced to 41 years. pleading guilty to a series of disturbing crimes involving her ex-husband, Dennis, a former sheriff's lieutenant, Cynthia admitted to several offenses, including serving her students, the bodily fluids.
Starting point is 00:24:18 The crimes came to light in 2019 when authorities found extensive evidence on the couple's electronic devices, linking them to numerous acts of abuse and misconduct. So it looks like they found it out through their phones and computers. I would dare to say on a sentence that excessive, that high, 41 years, there's more to that story than just the placement of semen in the cupcakes. There's got to be because as awful as that is, don't know that that warrants 41 years in prison. I'm not trying to discount how bad it is. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:24:52 No, no. And we appreciate your legal. No, there has to have been more. Something made them look at the phones in the computer. They're on the phones and they see all this other stuff and that's what we don't know. But man, and I noticed the article said he's served in a hundred year sentence. So that's awful. It has to involve some sort of, you know, probably sex crime or something.
Starting point is 00:25:13 I mean, there's some real sick puppies. And here's the thing, you can never uneat that cupcake. No. You just can't uneat it. We don't know how many students. How many cupcakes? How many cupcakes? That is so vile.
Starting point is 00:25:27 Well, that's uplifting. Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you're enjoying your stuffing, listener. Yeah, stuffy. Have you enjoyed your mashed potatoes and be warned if your grandmother made cupcakes today. Yeah, if brother-in-law Jeb is handing out the dressing, you might kind of look at it differently this morning. Watch out for that gravy, that jiblet, jiblet gravy. Ouch.
Starting point is 00:25:49 It's disgusting. Okay. One more news story. Okay. 43% of Americans would leave their partner for $1 million survey fines. What do you guys think? Oh, wow. You know what?
Starting point is 00:26:02 I'm going to say, baby, I wouldn't quit you for $1 million. 10 million, maybe. But one million, I don't think so. I would be taking a pay cut. You're safe with me. How much for you to leave me? Well, that's like the load of all questions. I know, but go ahead and answer it.
Starting point is 00:26:26 So we can fight all afternoon. 25 and up is going to start grabbing my attention to be like, okay, what can I do with that? What do I have here? I'm going to start weighing options. Yeah. I think that's fair. And we've had a great run. Yeah, 25 years together.
Starting point is 00:26:40 We'd maybe make some kind of backdoor deal where I'd give you like half. Yeah. Negotiate it. Yeah. Kylie, is there a dollar amount that could convince you to leave your beautiful girlfriend, Anna? I think I would take some money if I could secretly, I'd be like, let me break up with you. I'll take this $10 million. And then we can just secretly meet up, you know, still kind of.
Starting point is 00:27:06 to hang out and we can just live off this money. But no, there's no dollar amount that I'm going to say on this podcast. I mean, I don't know that that would work, Kylie. You think that's against the rules? You know, it would have to be a firm, you know, agreement. Yeah, I think you don't get to have it both ways. You don't get to have your cupcake and your semen too, Kylie. That's right.
Starting point is 00:27:25 That's right. You have to, it's one or the other. That's why I put the number at 25 because then I'm starting to weigh. I'd be like 25 million. Go off fun. Then I'm starting to weigh what I want to do. but ultimately I know that I would conclude that I wouldn't do that, but it starts to get my attention around 25. Here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:27:41 Here's the thing. You take the 25 million, Josh, right? And then who would you torture with your taco orders, you know? Well, there'd be no prohibition against keeping you on the, I mean, we're not in a relationship. You can still get the updates. You take the 25 million and torture money. And sign you up on every single thing that I'm on to wear your CCs on it. You know what I do do?
Starting point is 00:28:03 I have a confession to make. You know, when you go to check up. counters and they ask you for your cell phone, I've been giving yours instead of mine. So that's all the spam I'm getting. Yeah. Because I just felt like it started, I think maybe I was mad at you and I thought I'm going to use his number and now I've just stuck with it. Yeah, I'm going to do that when I get the bunk cakes because they're always asking for
Starting point is 00:28:32 my number. Oh, they still want you to take a survey for the bunk cake? Yeah, I'm going to get you. And I'm going to say, I want every discount that these receipts allow for. So please text me this information. But here's the deal, listener. It's Josh and I are in a great place in our marriage now because we've had real fucking problems that we are now leaving each other, you know, using, abusing each other's phone numbers. These are what I would call normal people problems.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Right. As opposed to the non-normal problems. The non-normal problems that we suffered. That's right. That's right. Because of you. okay um kiley any what do we have today callers we've got some voice memos finally i know it's been a while okay we're gonna start it off with jess i don't know if this is how you send voice
Starting point is 00:29:19 notes in but i'm just going to do it anyways um i have fucking had it with republicans parenting and i'll give you an example my distant relative posted a video of their child on Facebook, which already had it with that. Take your fucking kids off Facebook. But in this video, they have a Noah's Ark book and you press a button on the book and the book is read to you. Well, who is narrating the book? None other than Donald J. fucking Trump.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Like, this kid, I feel so bad for it. It's all of like maybe, I don't know, one. And why the fuck are you? reading your child a fictional zoo boat story with a fucking pedophile narrating it. What the fuck are you doing? I've absolutely had it. It's wild. I mean, the whole Christian merger with Donald Trump is so wild.
Starting point is 00:30:26 But for those of us that have lived in the Bible Belt our whole lives, you've always known that the loud Christians, the one that goes to Mexico, megachurches that does the hand praise, you always know they're so fucked up. Like, I know the biggest nightmare in my Instagram comment section, if I go and hit profile, it's like, husband, Christian, patriot. And the same for a woman. If it's like, wifey, Christian BFF, you know, like, okay, this woman is a fucking catastrophe.
Starting point is 00:30:57 She's a goddamn nightmare. And all of the Noah's Ark shit is so stupid. but I can't believe people take that literally. But to think that Donald Trump gives a shit about Noah's Ark or gives a shit about you or your kid, it shows you how what a failure this sect of Christian narcissism is, how clueless these people are. And it's amazing that he's the poster child for the right religious movement. That's Donald Trump.
Starting point is 00:31:30 And one of the reasons I think he's the, the poster shop for that is because he delivered for him. And that's all they care about. They don't give a shit about whether or not he's a Christian or if he practices or his. He delivered for them when they needed him. He's a diabolical motherfucker and he produced. And so they're all in for that. But the fact that just our day-to-day people that you would think it's normal to have him read a child, children's book, you know, I still every day have to think, God, we reelected this man.
Starting point is 00:32:02 How did this happen? Like, I'm still someone in shock of that. And so then you take it even further. He's reading children's books or he's selling his brand of, you know, I saw that he has his own gun that he's selling recently, like a firearm. It's such a, it's just all of it is. And the people are into it. Like, they're a part of it.
Starting point is 00:32:22 And I just, I don't understand it. I don't know what else to say about it. I sound like a broken record, but I just don't like this lady, this caller, when she's saying, why the fact is he reading the children's? I think that shit every single day about some headline I read or something I see as it relates to him. It's like, how? How did this happen? It's wild.
Starting point is 00:32:42 All right, Kylie, who's next? Okay, up next we've got Ginger Vandersnatch. Ooh. Wow. Hi, Pompson Associates at Law. This is your favorite hyper-locally famous drag queen, Ginger Vandersnatch, and I've had it with hotel literature. Now, when I walk into a hotel room, I want to go into an oasis. I want to go into a beautiful, comfortable place.
Starting point is 00:33:06 And instead, recently, I found myself walking in to the library of fucking Congress. Why does every flat surface in a hotel room now have literature on it? The first thing I do now, before I unpack anything, is I have to walk around and take every bit of literature off of every flat surface and put it into the drawer with the Bible, which obviously I'm not touching. I don't know what it is now, but there's a. menu for everything. There's a list for everything. There's instructions for everything. I'm so sorry, but if you cannot realize that to get room service, you need to click the button on the phone that says room service, maybe you should be hungry. That's it. That's my habit. Love you all. Josh. Well, I agree with Ginger.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Ginger Vander Snatch. Ginger Vandersnatch. I agree with Ginger, and it seems to be a little bit outdated that hotels would still have a Bible in them. I don't... Some of them have a Book of Mormon, which is wild. But yeah, I do think it's crazy. Like, here's the thing about the Bible. Like, there's been so many other great books written since then.
Starting point is 00:34:23 And I feel like, like a part, this is like the thing with Trumpism. Like, it makes perfect sense that the people who want them make America great again, they read a 2,000 plus year old book every day. They form social groups where they have a Bible study. They are stuck back in this patriarchal time period. So, of course, they're thinking backwards instead of forwards. And it's just this iron age. book that to me has just been overblown so much. And it's wrought with contradictions. Now,
Starting point is 00:35:02 the Jesus Christ character, he's really kind of a great guy. He's this radical socialist. He's dark-skinned. He hates rich people. He sounds a lot like Bernie Sanders, the atheist Jew. So it's just mystifying to me that so many people that I know that are big Bible study type people are just such pieces of shit. Like if I've ever met somebody and like, oh yeah, I just went to Bible study and that's a red flag. I'm like, okay.
Starting point is 00:35:30 And why, you know, Ginger needs to look at some of these hotels that she's staying at and may be fat. I don't know that I've seen a Bible in any place that we've stayed at recently. So that could be kind of a red flag, some of these places. Maybe look at some other spots. Yeah, I think that Ginger, when you're booking,
Starting point is 00:35:52 you need to email and say, do you provide Bibles in your rooms and see how they answer? Don't make it a leading question. Yeah. So it's important to me that you don't. Right. Listener, the hot book of the summer. Oops, I haven't the wrong way. Take two.
Starting point is 00:36:12 Listener, the hot book of the summer is now the cool book of the fall. It is in Trump's America, I can tell you with absolute certainty. The best book that has ever been written, and believe me, a lot of people are talking about it. Everybody's talking about it. Everybody's talking about it. It took us one day to write it. On day one. Because we took a cognitive test, and it was book, write, done.
Starting point is 00:36:42 All right. Anyway, please buy our book. It's a great way to support us. It is a really fun read for the fall. Curl up with your pumpkin spice lattes and just enjoy. living the American dream and dipshit Trump's America. This ad is brought to you by VVE Health Care, the makers of Appritude, Cabotegrivere. You never skip your SPF and you carry hand sanitizer like an accessory, but what are you doing for HIV prevention?
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Starting point is 00:38:17 Learn more at appritude.com or call 1-888-8.8. 240-0-3-4-0. All right, Kylie, who's next? Okay, up next we've got Sam. Hey, Jen and Pums, love the pod. I have fucking had it with MAGA Republicans that live in blue states that get all the benefits and perks of blue state policies, and they don't even realize that they're benefiting from them.
Starting point is 00:38:46 Like, for example, my MAGA father works for the state of Massachusetts. and gets all the benefits of living in a blue state and working for the state. For example, me and my siblings all got amazing health care growing up. My dad's health care through the state paid for all of our braces, for all of our vision, free glasses. Like, we got hooked up with blue state health care. We, you know, he makes a pretty good salary for an entry-level job and the state pays us. And then he goes around complaining about, you know, liberal, policies and blue state policies and high taxes and all those bullshit.
Starting point is 00:39:25 It's like, dude, that's literally the only reason why you could live and support your family with no college degree. So I've fucking had it. I've had enough. It makes me want to be like, go fucking move to Alabama and go see how much you like the red state policies then. Go see how MAGA you are then with your job in your current state because I guarantee you you won't fucking like it.
Starting point is 00:39:47 That is such a good grievance. And I think about this a lot. like the people in blue states that are flirting with Trumpism that have taken for granted that they have a government that is going to protect them, a local government that's going to fight for their safety that's going to value a health care, a woman's right to choose, etc. If you were to come live in a red state like Oklahoma, Oklahoma is ranked 43rd or 44th, Okay. And here's what happens to the red state MAGA. They start buying into the bullshit. They get so indoctrinated that Kevin Stitt, the governor of our state, he's a real prick, but he's a polite
Starting point is 00:40:32 prick. He's more polite than Trump is. But that's more insidious to me. At least Trump, you know he's a dick and you know he's going to do dickish things. Kevin Stitt is a dick, but he wraps it in, I'm going to do everything for the Lord and blah, blah, blah. Oklahoma's ranked 44 that's a bottom 10 state. The whole time he's been governor, he says to the public, we're a top 10 state. We have so much more freedom, blah, blah. These are the book banners. These are the Kevin Stitt book banner, anti-woman.
Starting point is 00:41:05 So if you have, if you get raped and you're 13, 14 years old, Kevin Stitt thinks it's his business and all the other pink-arm, dorky, hypocritical Christian state legislators, what has, happens to your daughter, the rape victim, who's a teenager, they think she has to carry that rapist baby. And so it is a real fool's errand for people in blue states to flirt with this style of Christian nationalism, because in Massachusetts, you don't understand evangelical, white evangelical Christians. They are mean. They are patriarchal. They are anti-woman. They are anti-gay. They are anti-poor. They are anti-health care. They are anti-helping anybody for anything. The whole thing is this prosperity gospel where they all go to these megachurches
Starting point is 00:41:54 where these churches, the pastors have private planes. They've got bank accounts that can choke a bowl and they've indoctrinated these people into thinking they live in this great space while they're suffering, while they can't afford health care, while they can't afford childcare, while the governor lies to them and says, oh, we're a top 10 state. It's like you're not even fucking close. You're a bottom feeder state. Right. It's interesting these two states. One went all Democratic. Every county. Oklahoma went all Republican, 77 counties. What I don't understand here is the fact that, you know, Republicans have been in charge here in all aspects of government for the past 10, 15 years. And so if you're looking around, whether it's in rural Oklahoma or Oklahoma City or Tulsa, and you don't like the way something is,
Starting point is 00:42:44 If you've got a real bitch or complain about whether it's the economy, whether it's education, whether it's the criminal justice system, whatever it is. If you don't like it, guess what? Your government has controlled all aspects of this. There's no boogeyman here. There's no Democrat that's affecting policy at all at any level in the state of Oklahoma. And so blame the fucking people that you voted for. blame the Republicans. If they're going to get the office, they've got a responsibility to do the job. If they don't, then accept ownership. And the voters need to accept the fact that it's their leaders that have caused any sort of discomfort in their life. There's no one else to blame. It is. In these red states, these MAGA supermajorities, they have had Republican supermajorities for two decades. They have lied. They have lied to the voters. They have lied to the electorate and told,
Starting point is 00:43:39 them trickle down economics work. We need to support these business owners because they're job creators. Look at these people on food stamps. They're so lazy. Meanwhile, the people on food stamps, the majority of them work 40 hours a week for these corporations like Walmart. And Walmart doesn't pay them a livable wage. But Josh is 100% spot on. The people to blame in these red states for your problems are Republicans. And it's wild that they blame Joe Biden or Or some Democratic policy, when you look at the bottom 10 states, they're all MAGA super majority states. All of them. And there's no one else to blame.
Starting point is 00:44:20 I mean, it's all of their policies that have caused this. And so if you're, you know, in Hugo or Brokenbow or Idavel and you're dead broke, who do you think is to blame for that? The governor, the House of Representatives, the Senate, all of that's controlled. Supreme Court, state Supreme Court. All of it is Republican controlled. every bit of it. Democrats aren't affecting any policy in the state of Oklahoma. So, I mean, just think about it rationally. Well, think about it like this. We did have a Democratic governor in like 2011. His name was Brad Henry. We were ranked 17th in education when we had a Democrat
Starting point is 00:44:57 that could help fund education. Since then, listeners, Blue State listeners, we have dropped under Republican rule, Republican supermajorities, we're 50th in education right now, 50th. In a lot of parts of rural Oklahoma, they cannot fund the kids to go to school Monday through Friday. So they cut the classes to four-day school weeks, which leaves if you're a working class parents in rural Oklahoma, small town Oklahoma, what do you do with your kids on Friday? A lot of these poor kids factor in getting breakfast and lunch at school, which by the way, our big Jesus Christ supporting governor, Kevin Stitt, turned away federal funds to feed kids
Starting point is 00:45:40 when Joe Biden was president. That's how Christian he is. And think about it like this. This indoctrination, this Republican propaganda, these Republican lies are so powerful that the same people whose kids now only go to school Monday through Thursday and they have this deficit on Friday. What am I going to do with my kid while I go to school? The state isn't going to help feed them.
Starting point is 00:46:05 They, you know, I'm on snap or whatever. Trump won these counties by whopping double digits, 30, 40, 50 percent. It's un—but here's the deal. The Democrats have abandoned a 50-state strategy. They have abandoned Oklahoma. They haven't gone in and they need to run multiple election cycles in these red states to have progressives champion for them, a working-class economic populist. message and tell them how much they've been lied to, and they might lose the first couple of
Starting point is 00:46:36 rounds. But eventually it will start getting traction. But the Democrats abandoning all of these swaths of America has just been absolutely devastating and has grown this cult, this cult that gets people to vote against their own interest, their own religion, the tenants of their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, which is against the accumulation of wealth, about helping the poor, about helping the sick. And they're all kind of like, fuck you, we like this, you know, mega church pastor. gay that gives blowjobs, kinks. The hypocrisy and all of it is just pretty breathtaking. And, you know, we used to joke about this quite a bit.
Starting point is 00:47:13 But if any of the Christians that we knew, if any of them just in any way remotely resembled the character of Jesus Christ, I think we would love those people quite a bit. Yeah. But they don't. They set this thing up as the thing that they worship and then none of them emulate it. None of them strive to be that thing. And so it's just a really weird dichotomy. And then you pick Trump to be the leader of that sect.
Starting point is 00:47:38 And he's probably the worst person in the world that you could think of that would be a devout Christian. I don't know. But the whole thing is just sort of mind-blowing. Yeah. All right, Kylie. Let's do one more for our Thanksgiving episode. Okay. We will end it with Darren.
Starting point is 00:47:59 Hi, Pumps. Hi, Jennifer. Hi, Kylie, the Magic Lesbian. This is Darren from Jersey, the gay Jersey boy. I just want to say, I have fucking had it. I work for the United States Postal Service, and I've had it when you put in a letter in a mailbox when it says current resident, and they tell me that their name is not current resident. I actually had to have a sticker made explaining what current resident. means. I just had it with stupid people who just don't know the common sense of what a word
Starting point is 00:48:39 means. Wow. Current resident. Yeah, that's interesting. And I agree. I think we get a lot of mail at our house that is addressed to the current resident, which I'm not sure who else it would be addressed to because if you're getting it at the house, and obviously it's for the person that lives there. Right. So I share in his frustration. Yeah. And I just, I really want to give a shout out to all the post office because that's something that might end up being a casualty in this Trump administration. You know, they want to go after the post office because of mail-in ballots and all of these things. And, you know, postal workers, I'm always so happy when I see the postman. And they hustle. And they do. And they're out there and it's rain and snowing.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Snow, sleet, or shine. The U.S. Postal Service. Yeah. We see them. We see them every day and give them a shout out. Yeah. I really like Postman and I really particularly like gay postmen. So shout out to you, the magic gay postman from New Jersey.
Starting point is 00:49:45 All right. Listen up, listener. Pumps will be back soon by our book. Life is a lazy Susan of shit sandwiches. Please make sure you comment in the comment section of this episode. Let's keep Pantygate alive, all right? Let's keep Josh's ensemble choices. And tell us what you think about compression socks.
Starting point is 00:50:08 Should he wear them and say, fuck it? Or just... Yeah, feel free to give us some feedback in the comments on the YouTube page that are not related to me wearing short shorts and compression socks. It's been a pleasure to guest host. I wish everybody a happy Thanksgiving. Kylie, safe travels to Memphis. Everybody enjoy your family. Try not to fucking kill each other.
Starting point is 00:50:29 When you're sitting down to eat, we'll do the same. All right. We'll see you next Tuesday and Thursday. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gaitriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped.
Starting point is 00:50:48 It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe, and reviews so that we will chart upwards
Starting point is 00:51:13 with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Ciccaw! A little bit more enthusiasm. Caca! That's it. That's... Caca!
Starting point is 00:51:24 That's the patriotism that this country, needs right there.

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