I've Had It - An ATM Machine of Great Ideas with Symone

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

Jennifer and Pumps are joined today by the award-winning drag queen Symone. The three have had it with bare feet in the airport, daylight savings and obnoxious little blue text messages. Pumps has had it with women taking too long in the bathroom and Jen has had it with Pumps’ and her most recent yak-mouthing offense. Come see I've Had It live on the Hot Sh*t Tour! More info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast and subscribe to I've Had It wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you to our sponsors: I've Had It is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/hadit. L'Oreal: This episode of I’ve Had It is brought to you by the new L’Oreal Paris Bright Reveal Dark Spot Serum and Broad-Spectrum SPF 50 Daily Lotion. Dark Spots? Game Over! Discover the new Bright Reveal Dark Spot Duo! Visit Target online and in-store to buy yours today! Lume: Visit LumeDeodorant.com today and use code HADIT for $5 off your Lume Starter Pack and returning customers get $5 off their next purchase of $30 or more. BlueLand: Blueland has a special offer for listeners. Right now, get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/HADIT Jenni Kayne: Find your forever pieces @jennikayne and get 15% off with promo code Hadit at jennikayne.com/hadit! #jennikaynepartner Quince: Take the drama out of planning an outfit and upgrade your closet with Quince today! Go to Quince.com/hadit for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special Guest:  Symone: @the_symone

This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by the new L'Oreal Paris Bright Reveal Dark Spot, Serum, and Broad Spectrum, SPF 50 Daily Locean. Dark Spot's Game Over. So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready? One, two, three. Ah, nailed it. You know, listener, when you can nail a clap at the advanced age that pumps is. Not to mention the second dragons in the way. I mean, you just don't even know. It's hashtag blessed. hashtag winning hashtag podcast family.

hashtag a arp clapping. A arp clapping. sadly, is that it? That's true. Pops, what have you had it with? Oh my gosh, what I have had it with is women that take so long in the bathroom. It is ridiculous, it's unnecessary. I was at a football game last weekend

and I was standing in line and it was a one-holar and this woman there was a little line the girl in front of the girl that I was behind. Went in, she was in there maybe a minute and a half came right out. No problem. This girl goes in and it's like seven minutes. This is after I start notching on my watch, how long she's been in there. My friends are across the restaurant. They're like, what is going on in the bathroom? I'm like, I don't know. I mean, we're like yelling this across the restaurant.

And they're all like, oh gosh, it's gonna be bad. It's gonna be bad. So when her friends came over and knocked on the door, because I think she heard my friends and I being like, what's going down in the bathroom? This is way too long in a public one-huller. And she comes out and I knew it was gonna stink, but I think she was maybe intoxicated

because she was having a little struggling, a little walking, but the point is, even drunk, you can pee within a minute. Let's talk about the options of what she could have been doing in the restroom. Masterbating? That was my first thought. Masterbating would be number one. Booping.

Cocaine. Yeah, she didn't look like cocaine, but that's definitely one. She could have been doing some cocaine. Yeah. She could have an only fans account, and she could have had a customer and wherein she had to do a performance. Oh my gosh, that's a great one I didn't do. Yeah.

Yeah. Obviously, she could have been taken a shit. Right. But there was no smell. Praise the Lord. I was bracing for it because I thought you can't be in the bathroom. And I think sadly and probably the most plausible answer is she's jacking around with her phone with a breath taking lack of self-awareness or selflessness because you need to speed it up, especially when there's a line in public restrooms. And women, I love you, I'm for women empowerment, but one way we can empower each other is to be more efficient in the restrooms because the men, they get in and out quickly. In and out, in and out. But I mean, it just, it slurves me

when it takes a female more than a couple minutes to pee. I mean, we're not doing to get ready with she in there. She's a minor. No, it was, I looked to see if she had to like repit herself back in a jumpsuit or something. She didn't, this was just slow as fuck.

I've had it with that. Was she apologetic? No, was there an awareness when she came out? Like, see? See, her awareness. Now, her friends were aware because they were skirting around, but I think maybe she was kind of glazed over,

like I don't think she was in her top form when she came out. So maybe the cocaine is right. I mean, I think that probably would have perked her up, but I mean, I think it's possible she was masturbating for her only fans account. And that's what I think we should go with. I think so too.

Made it quick 300 bucks while she was in the bathroom at a one roller in a public place. It's kind of high risk. So maybe that's what I mean, people might like that. Maybe her clientele is into that like public restroom masturbation, right? And here it goes again, where we devolve into junior high school maturity level humor, not the first time, nor the last. Okay. I have agreements. Okay. A had it, okay. And it involves a situation where you and I were on tour and you're starving.

Right. And you say, I want to go eat and I said, I'll go with you. Let's go. I'm hungry as well. Let's go have a nice lunch. So we go down the restaurant and you say, let's just hit the bar. I don't want to yak, you know, in the main restaurant, like, I want to get out in and out of here as quickly as possible. I can, yeah, but a bartender can yak too much. And you said, you know what, you're right. Let's just go sit in the main restaurant. So we go sit in

the main restaurant. You've already said, you've already drawn a boundary. This is efficiency. This is a lunch where we go in, we eat, we fill our bellies, we get the fuck out. There's not going to be yak mouthing, there's not going to be grandstanding, there's not going to be any extra fluffery whatsoever. Much to my surprise, the waiter comes over. He recognized us from the show slash podcast and was as sweet as he could be. And what came out of your mouth next, I'm still rassling with. I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck you were thinking. Because let me tell you what she did listener.

She looked at the waiter who had told us about his boyfriend slash husband partner. told us about his boyfriend slash husband partner. And she looks and dead in the eye and says, what is your relationship with your in-laws like? It was so bad. I cannot defend it. Even as it was coming out of my mouth, I knew that I fucked up, but it was too late. My lips moved faster than my brain, which is problem for me.

It was unbelievable because so bad. I got the order in his pocket. So that prevented the order from being placed when you, when we march down the elevators, these declarative statements of efficiency, no yak mal thing, we're going to get in. We're going to get out. And you asking what his relationship with his in-laws is like, which of course, listener, is a very complicated question

for anyone. Correct. And of course he starts at the genesis of his relationship with his husband. We start there and then we get to current date. Thanks and courtesy of pumps. No, it was bad. It was bad, bad, bad. I have no excuse for it. I knew it was bad. The minute it was coming out of my mouth, I cannot defend it. I just have to take the big fat L on the forehead

because that was the total loss. And you have every right to have had it with me because it was bad. Thank you for that. And you know, I have had a lot of fun since you did it bringing it up. I brought it up listener, probably about 10, 12 times. And I realized this morning, you know, I don't think I've shared this I'm probably about 10, 12 times and I realized this morning, you know, I don't think I've shared this with the listener. This epic fail. I don't think I've shared this slip, this lapse in judgment with the listener. So I had to share it with you all, but before we get to Kylie, there's something that I want to give a shout out to and pumps will agree with me on this. I want to give a shout out to the architects of the new LaGuardia Airport pumps and I were just there. We went into the bathroom stalls to pee and I've

got to tell you what listener LaGuardia wins with the brand new bathroom stalls and here's what they've done. The stalls are approximately 24 inches deeper than a regular stall, so that when you walk in, your suitcase has a place to sit, so that when you're on the toilet, you have room. There are two hooks right to the right where you can hang your purse and whatnot, you know, your travel bag. Above each door, there is a light that is illuminated red, when locked, and green, when available. So you're not pushing on doors and having these awkward moments. And I've got to tell you, I don't think I have ever enjoyed an airport P as much as I

did my piss at the LaGuardia airport, because how spacious and efficiently designed they are. They thought of everything, because then when you go out to wash your hands, there's a perfectly spaced table that you can put your carry on and your purse on while you wash your hands. I mean, it was a 10 out of 10. They need to teach a master class on this layout.

And what pisses me off about it is it's taken this long for this to be implemented. You go in there and you pee and you're like, why haven't we've been doing this all this time? I have a goddamn phone. I has a woman named Siri and it talks to me all the time. And we just now figured out to add 24 additional inches to airport bathrooms

because we are traveling with a bunch of shit. I mean, imagine if you had a baby, then you're, you can just, will your stroller right in there? Yeah. No, it's, it's the classic most efficient bathroom, public bathroom, not just airport public bathroom ever. And let me just say we don't encourage traveling with infants. But if you were, if you were a room, you have room. Sometimes you have no choice. Sometimes you have no choice, pumps, and I have done it many times. Yes. Anyway, I just wanted to share that shout out

to the design team at the LaGuardia Airport in the great state of New York for designing such fantastic restaurants. They thought of everything. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Judge Judy, Diana, Dolly, Parton, Kylie.

What's going on? Not much. I'm happy to have you guys back. Thank you. We missed our mom. I bet you didn't miss this at all. I missed you so much. I actually want to talk about something.

At about 9 p.m., one night while Jen and pumps were in New York, I get a DM out of nowhere from at pumps pumps pumps that just said, we miss you do you miss us? Well, I saw on the deal that it said you were online and I was like, oh, I miss her. I wonder if she misses us. You're sliding into DMs at 9 p.m. at Kylie's. I got an I miss you DM at 9 p.m. at Kylie's I got an I miss you DM at 9 p.m. Pumps a sliding into DMs sliding into lesbian DMs Well, you know what that brings up

A review I wasn't gonna read okay, but it was just perfect now. I would be remiss not to it's titled Kylie turned me gay Three stars. Okay. As a 100% hetero female, I'm having a difficult time understanding how an on-the-fence lesbian, such as pumps, who regularly works in the physical presence of Kylie, can't jump over the fence so fast, she rips her pants while doing so. I was five feet from Kylie at a recent live show and I'm questioning everything. I've never had a sexual

identity crisis until now. Thank you Kylie and pumps for God's sake take the plunge already. Love you guys and I only did three stars to capture my new fantasy girlfriend's attention. What's this person's name? Kimmy Bean. All right, Kimmy Bean. Kimmy Bean, great review. But I've noticed a little trend on the Apple reviews. People are gaming the system so that Kylie will read them and they're holding our stars hostage.

It's kind of smart. It's smart. It hurts us. But it's just hurting us. You're hurting our rating. They're hurting us. They're doing like a one star. And I'll

change it to five when you read it. This gal that's thinking about doing a change from heterosexual delesbianism, she gave us three holding the other two stars hostage listener that hurts judge Judy. If you guys want to leave a hate comment, leave five stars and I'll still read it. That's right. Right, Kylie reads them all. That's right. You know what? If you leave us and we're doing a permanent band

for the permanent record right now, if you leave us a nice review with blackmail in it for one star, we are no longer going to read them. We do not negotiate with terrorists. We do not negotiate with Apple review terrorists new permanent record, right, Pumps? That's right. Yeah.

Anything else, Kylie, out on the World Wide Web? I've got one more. Five stars. Love it. Literally every episode has me cackling. I decided to take your advice and use the objections, which we talked about on the JVN episode, when arguing with my girlfriend, I said, objection asked and answered. This caused some issues. So if

Pomp's decided to try out her lesbian side, I'm available. Yeah, I bet that whenever like a turn to Pinchball, I mean, objection asked and answered. I mean, I just, you know. She just wanted to bitch slap her all the way into next week. That would be infuriating. I think all of this, it sounds like there's a lot of lesbian activity in the Apple reviews. Yeah. Heavy on the lesbians. There's emotional blackmail going on our listeners emotionally blackmailing us and holding our stars hostage, which we're onto you listeners.

We're going to be looking for the corrections, right Kylie? Correct. So Kimmy Bean, we're going to be eyes on you now. Get that three star or two star. Yeah, yeah, you got to do it. Okay. All right, listeners, today is a great day. We have a fantastic guest. She is an actor. She is a drag queen. She is the winner

of season 13 of RuPaul's Drag Race. Let's welcome to I've had it Simone. Kylie, when you think of dynamic duos, who do you think of? I think of Chittan Pumps. There's no question, but let me tell you about my new favorite dynamic duo. And it is L'Oreal's Dark Spot Serum and the Broad Spectrum SPF-50 Daily Locean. I recently returned from Mexico and I used these products. When you wear this sunscreen, it's like you don't have anything on your face. This duo visibly fades all types of dark spots in a week. It'll start fading even the most stubborn of dark spots.

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I'm telling you, Kylie, this is where you need to go to shop. Get affordable luxury for everyone on your list with quince. Go to quince.com slash had it for free shipping on your order and a 365 day return. That's quints. q-u-i-n-c-e.com slash had it to get free shipping and a 365 day returns. quints.com slash had it. that's what it feels. That's exactly how it feels. I usually say not going on but the rich out but you know.

That's just it. You know, by saying today I feel a little bit better so everything enough. That's what that's what it feels. That's what it feels. That's exactly how it feels. I usually say not going on but the rich out but you know. That's just it. You know, that's just it. You know, but I said today I feel a little bit better. So everything

and that's what that's what every day. That's a good day. Yeah. That is so the truth. I hear you're from rural Arkansas. I'm from I'm from common Arkansas, which is kind it's I especially going back now. I went back a couple of weeks ago and I was like, oh my God, it's grown so much. But I wouldn't say necessarily rule, but it's not like a city. It's nowhere near LA, but yeah, I'm from middle, I'm from middle Arkansas. Well, we live in Oklahoma city,

so we're your neighbors of your homestead. You are. So we, we understand probably a lot of of the fuckery that surrounded your formative years on a very personal level because we also live in the buckle of the Bible belt, which if you're an open-minded big thinker can be quite a mind-fuck, can it not? It can be. And, you know, I think, I think, tell me if it's true, but I, um, going back, it's very difficult. Like, you, I mean, you guys live there, but like, you know, when, when you go somewhere and then you

come back to it, it's like, it's really isn't my info because it's like, I cannot believe I was here for so long, you know, because I didn't leave Arkansas. I was like 25 years old. So, you know, when you're in it, you under, you know, like, you know, there's something happening, but to come back to it after so long, especially going somewhere like LA, where it's completely different, like to be further different, it's crazy. And there's like an air to it

that you don't even understand until you go back. You know, like, it's just so weird. So yeah, she went to my sisters, you get me. Oh, no, I get it. We totally understand it. So yeah, she went just my sisters, you get me. Oh, no, I'll get it. We totally understand it. I mean, we live in Oklahoma City, so it's, you know, more urban, but that air that you're talking about,

there's just this air of fuckery. You know, the people are cooking up no good. You can feel it. You can feel it in the molecules in the air that there's some fuckery getting cooked up and just sense it. Your spidey senses sense it tingle Oh, you know what you know what they cooking over there with no salt okay

No, where I know it they put salt no, we're on I know it Well Simone we like to traffic and petty grievances and And I have a feeling that you might be the perfect person for such trafficking. I love a petty grievance. I love a petty grievance. It's one of my favorite things. So let's do it. Let's do it.

Okay, right now, I'm saying, Simone, tell us what you've had it with. You know what I've had it with? There's so many things I've had it with, but what really gets me, I've been to the airport and I triggered something in me because I saw someone in flip flops. And you know, we country. So, you know, people always think, Oh, we ain't got no shoes. Do y'all wear shoes down there? I used to get that light when I would go to what go to Denver.

All right. And they'd ask do you have do you wear shoes? And that will always trick her me because it's like of course I have shoes on darling. I got the same shoes you got. What you mean? I would say you have the same stores you got sometimes all the time. But sometimes. And so I get really upset when I go and see people at the airport

with the flip flops on, because I know you ain't got TSA pre-check. So you have to take your shoes off. I can look at you and tell you ain't got TSA pre-check. And you have to take your shoes off. So are you putting your flip flop feet on the ground when you walk through the sensors? Because a million people go through this airport, says, so we're, oh, that is literally a walking petri dish.

A walking petri dish on the bottom of your foot. And I know you're not putting your, keeping your flip-ups on on the flight. I know you're not. So that's the thing. That's the thing. That's the thing. So I just need to talk about it and get it out because I was, it was truly was, I had to take my sunglasses off and make sure that that was what it's going on. I was traumatizing to me. It was truly what.

And let's just, let's just play this thing out. Okay. You're the nut. Let's pretend that you're the psycho who discerquated one day to wake up and just commit murdered an airport. Okay. You put on your flip flops. You put on your flip flops. You don't really care that much about feet hygiene. You're parading through TSA. You're parading around. You get on the flight. And as you

mentioned, that mother freckers going to take that flip flop off. They are. They are. They are. They end up crossing their leg like this. And, and then when you touch in the bottom of the foot And then they're gonna touch the window and put it up and down and then they're gonna touch the tray and then they're gonna touch the armrest This is full-blown savagery. I mean it is horrible and I'm gonna germinate though, but this is a bridge too far. Too far. I agree. It is. And you know, I just don't get why you would like think for my airport travel shoe. I'm going to wear something that

exposes my feet when I'm going into a place that is filled with human beings. And God only knows what those human beings are doing. And then to turn it back around on the person, because that just tells me everything I need to know about you, that you choose to wear this footwear at such a public place. But you're, it just tells me everything about you and why would you want to do something that is just going to completely destroy at least half of your character? Do the people that are gonna see you. Do you know what I'm like? It's just, it boggles the mind.

It truly does. Jennifer, tell me about what happened to you on an international flight. Okay, I'm on an international flight once and I'm in my little pod, you know, and I'm trying to sleep and I hear this click, click, click. And it wakes me up and it's just this ticking and this little clicking.

So I get up, I stretch, I kind of meander towards the restroom to investigate the source of the sound. And Simone, I discovered a passenger barefooted with their foot all yoga posed up in their lap, giving them self a little pedicure clipping toenails. Right on the fucking day. During sleep time. During our time.

So the lights are off. Yes, but they have their little spot on. They have their little spotlight on and just complete reckless disregard for everybody on that plane and humanity as a whole clipping their toenails on the fucking plane like it was normal. She kind of glanced up at me like an unpleasant like exchange and I just like I was horrified somehow. You, of course you are because they have no regard. None. First of all, for you, obviously you were sleeping, you woke up. Right. And then you're going to spread your toe jam juice particles around this plane.

That's right. And what did you do? What did she do with the toenails? What did she do with toenails? That's exactly right. That's exactly right. Because I didn't see a collection area for this. So I guarantee you somewhere on some big 747, there is toenail debris from this massacre of a pedicure that took place on an international flight to London and I have fucking had it. How fucking that is. That's disgusting. Like that, that's truly barbaric. Yeah, it really is. It really is.

Yeah, I don't even think the barbarians would have done that. No, I don't even. They'd been our time. Let's, wow. Let's expand on this idea of no shoes. And let's just talk about how frequent it is that you could be at a target or a grocery store or a gas station. And you see a mom and then you see a toddler, I would say from around two to seven,

rolling around barefoot. Yeah, yeah. I would say not as much here. I will give the Los Angeles knows that. They are, I will give them that. But back home, it was a frequent occurrence. Yeah. Usually because you know, okay, so the Conway is like the hub and it's surrounded by like smaller city. So like a Vellania, Mayflower, Green Briar, you know, all these are the places. So I wouldn't, I'm not going to listen, live how you live, but they're a little more country, you know, they're a little more country. So they would come in to the Walmart because we got, we got, we got two. And they would just let their children just roam free, I guess, because it's easier than rambling them and trying to get your, uh, your Oreos and your, your, your, uh, crossy flakes. So, you know, go off, go off.

Off. And they would let them roam around with no shoes on. And that triggers me because I don't know why you would that triggers me because I don't know why you would want them exposed to such germs and pesticides that is an arc of an Arkansas state, you know. They're trekking get around, they're putting it and then oh, oh, let's talk about the fact that they're putting it next to your food. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Because you're going to get them pick them up and put them in the cart once they start getting Annoying and roaming around and so their feet are next to your bread Your lettuce your tomatoes Your lettuce

Your home your salad is is amalgamation of Of fruits vegetables and and to jam. I just don't get it. Yeah, it really does. It's really jaw dropping when I see a child running through like a target or a grocery store. A target. Bam, but I just think to myself, I know it's hard. I know it's hard to be a mom.

I know that the kids have their own mind and their own will. But that is a, you know, it's a minimum, non-negotiable. Negotiable. At least for a sock on. And it leased it a bare minimum. These stores could have shoe monitors walking around to make sure people have shoes on their kids. Absolutely.

You get a two strike moment. The first one is like, you know, we understand. It's hard out here for a pimped. Got you. But in the second time, you got where you got to go. You got to leave your car and you got to go. You got to go to the next target. Cause it's just too much. And then if it's a third time, they have to put you in a system, okay?

It's like your face, your face should be up and be like, this is the mom who lets her kid. You have to do a public shaming. I'm sorry. Maybe that's what we have to resort to. It wasn't society. I think you could get a community of carons on this. Yeah. They could steer ahead. You know, I think we need to start redirecting carons for good.

Yeah. We get a carons at the entry of Wal-Mart's and Target's nationwide. I mean, fuck the moms for liberty and all those fucking suckers. If you all want to be psycho, let's channel their psycho. Channel that. Channel that hygiene. And so they can be at the doors with their cell phones and a mom walks in and flip flops and the kid walks in barefoot immediately take a picture, post it up to face, but

maybe chew their ass out a little bit, get your caron out as they're walking in. And all that frustration, we could redirect caronism to foot hygiene. I think you're on to something. I do too. I think you are truly on to something because this is this is how we can redeem it. And you know, the PR perspective, this is gold.

That's right. The parents need a little rehab. They need to yeah, they need a little rehab. The three of us here, we can steer this Karenism in the right direction and the right direction. Policing foot hygiene in airport for the cheer

ranger. A new generation. We have to get on. We have to get early. I'm selling you. Got to try to upright. Carons and clean feet. Okay.

Absolutely. Simone in our correspondence prior to your appearance here today. Uh-huh. He listed that you had had it with daylight savings. Go on. I have.

Okay. Let me tell you something. Well, I live in LA. Okay. Full disclosure. You didn't know. And one part of the park is the sunny sunshine. Yep.

Okay. I like to see. I don't want it to be hot by any means. We can keep, we can keep the cool. I like that during the day It's fun. I want more daytime. I don't want to go out at 4.30 and see the it's a great sunset Not knocking it, but I don't want to see it till 7.49 Okay, I don't want to see it. I didn't but now you have it going off at 4.30 I don't understand we We don't need, we have technology now.

We don't need to get up with the roosters and the crows. Okay, we don't need that for my friend Tase. Hey, Tase, how you doing girl? She was like, in London, and the sun starts going down at 3. What is that? Really? We don't need that anymore.

We don't need this as a society. We have, we have alarm clocks. We have machines that can go out there and get your grain. Okay, whatever you need to do as a farmer, we have it all, we have, we have it. So we don't need it. And I thought as a nation, we decided to get over this. Maybe I'm wrong. But I think there was a vote on it. And the nation said we're done. So I just, I'm tired of having early, I love the nighttime. I'm a night owl. But I don't need that much night. I don't need that much. I'm going to offer an alternative reality here that's

going to blow your fucking mind. Okay. I'm right here. I'm here. Open your own. I dig it. And let me tell you why. Oh, God. I'm a morning person. I'm like a cock at doodle do and I'm not talking about penises in the morning. Okay. I am up. I am doing Wordal. I am fucking on. I fucking shined in the mornings.

I shined. I am the brightest, shiniest, sharpest crayon in the morning. Okay. So the color yellow. Then I go in a kick ass the morning, okay? So that's why I get- You're the color yellow. Then I go on a kick ass all day, right? Right. And when I get home and it's full summer

and the sun's up, tell forever and I put my pajamas on at 6 p.m. I feel like the biggest fucking loser in America. But now with this time change, it's dark. It gets dark at five. I get home from work or my pickleball match around 5.30 or six. Do a little rancol. Pick a ball.

Put in put on my pajamas at six and I feel like the biggest fucking winner on the planet. Wow. I dig it. I'm into it. I get what you're saying. I wish that I went outside and watched the sun set at 7.49 pm. I'm not that outdoors pm. I'm not that outdoorsy, Simone. Right? I'm really not that fucking outdoorsy. I'd rather see the

sunset on my cell phone in my pajamas at 5.30 pm from my bed on somebody's Instagram post. That's what I'm going to have to hear. Not even not even the Oklahoma one somewhere that we're far far away. Yeah. I want some exotic sunset. I mean, that's fucking go. And I'll see it on my phone. And you have dorsi people, you and all these out dorsi drag queens looking at seven, 49 p.m. and California can suck my left titty because I like to put my PJs on in the

dark at 6 p.m. Okay. You know what? You have not swayed me. I get your point. I get your point. I see it. I think my issue with that is I'm a night owl.

Yeah. So like you would think I would want more night. You would think I'd be like, oh, great. This is great. But I like to fit. I like to start my day later. So when I start my day and then I have like what Four hours of sunshine. I'm like I Guess I guess it does make me feel like the biggest loser of the world So but I'm like I know I'm not I'm a productive diva. I mean you're talking to the girl

So obviously I'm doing something right like I Don't like this feeling. I don't like this feeling. I don't like this feeling. I don't like feeling like my day is done at five. I just don't like that. Simone, there is there is no greater evidence in the history of your career that you are productive diva than your appearance on this high olab dog shit podcast of ours. I've had it girl. This is peak. Some right. When is this peak? Some own.

When he repulse dragways. Nothing. Nothing. He'll be ready to do this. This shot's going to break the internet. Another item that you listed that that I think we need to cover is too many slash too long text messages. Go. Uh-huh.

Okay. I am a get to the point girl. Okay. You need to get to me. Talk to me. It's great. I love. Start.

Fine. But let's get to the point. I don't want six little bitty tech, little bitty blue text messages. I'm going to say blue because green. I don't want to talk about that. But I'm going to say blue text messages. I'm gonna say blue because green. I don't even want to talk about that But I'm gonna say blue text messages coming at me On the same subject when you could have put that in one big text I could have read it analyze it comprehended like I did a reading class. We used to have those on I don't know they do now, but green glass it was comprehension

And I can comprehend it and then give you response Like a normal person, Okay, don't send me fifty-leven little tiny text and one sentence text messages. Okay, I don't have time for that. I need a folder, I need a paragraph. Let's go. Now on the flip side, I don't need three novels. Okay, if your text message just requires me hit that or or one big novel, it requires me to hit that little arrow at the bottom of your text message and it goes to that white screen and I'm looking at a page and a, if it's like Lapedia, I'm probably not going to finish it. Right. Okay. I'm going to probably send back to you three bullet points. Go. What were you trying to tell me here? Okay.

I've had it. I don't want those. I don't need it. I have too many things going on this to my email. My email is going off. Okay. I don't want to see novel, long sex messages. I don't.

I have a fix for you. Yes. All right. I have this whole thing and it's called land the plane. If you're in a conversation with somebody and they're talking too much, you can just do your hand as a motion, land the plane. If you're in a text message with somebody, there is an emoji that shows a plane landing. So what we need to do is globalize this phenomenon. And when somebody's yet, mouth and in person, or on Zam, you can just go like this. And in the text, text message,

you just send the plane landing. Land the fucking plane. Right. Land the plane. Cliff notes. We don't need all this lollygaggin. We don't need all this brand standing. No, we don't.

We want to read all this shit. We are out of school. Quick, a brand standing on a text message and just start sending the land the plan. Land the plan. Yep. Get it. I don't need to know you're good at your mastery of the English language.

Right. I don't need to know. I just need to know what you're texting me for. Why is this, why is my light going on right now? Explain it to me quickly. You know what I'm saying? What I hate is when somebody sends you a text message you haven't heard from a long time,

and they're like, let's say I texted you in like, Simone, I wanna borrow your yellow sweater. Instead, I'm like, how are you, how have you been? How are your parents? When was the last time you were in Arkansas? Hey, can I borrow the yellow sweater? I would just appreciate it more. If somebody just texted and said,

hey, can I borrow the yellow sweater? I'd be like, absolutely. I respect that. This is a prime example. When it starts at pumps, when somebody text you, hey, how you doing? How are the kids? You just respond with the plane landing emoji. That's what I'm just doing.

We've got to really publicize the plane landing. Oh, my God. That is perfect. We just get it out. Just land the plane. Land the plane. Tell me what you need. That is a great, yeah, great lesson.

We've did two great things out of this podcast, girls. We only just need one more. And we are trying to find some. Some of them, we are fucking chock full of great. I was like, let me just tell you something. This is like a fucking ATM machine. A great idea. And they say this and they say something.

I got no brain. See? And they said, hey, and they say middle age white women are finished. Well, the inter pumps in me. Pass their prime. My ass. Okay. Never.

Never. What the fuck Simone? What the fuck's going on with condiments? I'm not down there. I like I will give you a list of what I do. Like that's probably easier. I like not down. I like, I will give you a list of what I do. That's probably easier. I like ranch, catch up barbecue sauce. Okay, that's it.

I don't need anything else. I don't want anything else. Specifically mayonnaise. I made a post about this. I made a post about this. I was in Canada, leaving in an airport and I was hungry because I just did it. It was an earlier gig, so I didn't, I woke up.

I didn't eat, I don't like to eat when I'm in drag, so I didn't eat at the gig. I'm out of drag, ready to get on a plane. So I'm like, oh, they have like some little store here, surely. I walk around, I'm looking for something, a morsel. And I look down and there's a mayonnaise sandwich. I in my life, it's it's feet, bare feet mayonnaise. It's

one and two. And I in my all most screen, like out like a vocal screen out loud because I don't, and what is that? Is that just mayonnaise on bread? Well, like, what is that? And that's disgusting. I hate it. The ingredients it's made up of. I don't understand why you want that.

People overseas dip their fries in it. Like ketchup doesn't exist. Like it wasn't specifically, like in my mind, it was specifically made for dipping over your fries. So I don't get it. I have to correct the record on that French fries. I believe were invented in Belgium, not France. And they've always been dipped in mayonnaise every day. Yeah. And then we adopted the French fry and naturally started dipping it in ketchup, which I prefer the ketchup. Which is an upgrade.

So once again, America got it got a good. What's the name? Nailed it. Nailed it. America another victory lap for the Americans. Another one. As far as I'm concerned, you know what I mean? Man on the moon.

Catch up on fries. I just. Yeah. concerns. You know what I mean? Man on the moon? Catch up on fries. I just yeah, caviar caviar to the years 2016 to 2020 disregard from our record. Yes, banished that from the record banished that we don't everyone's allowed a bad day. Let us out. We just had four years. You know, Kylie, the holiday season can create even more waste than usual. And did you know that each year Americans throw away 25% more trash from Thanksgiving

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and be sure to use the code, had it. Let getting dressed be one less thing you have to worry about. We're going to play had it or hit it with you in a second, but we have to on the fly right now, play a game of would you rather with you? Okay. All right. Thank you. Save me from this.

Okay. Would you rather eat a mayonnaise sandwich with extra mayonnaise walking barefoot through the airport or okay or fuck Mike Pence. Oh wow. Wow. I did you dirty. You did me dirty. Girl, I mean, she's done it to me too. Oh my god. Barefoot. Barefoot mayonnaise sandwich while eating through walking through the airport walking through mayonnaise sandwich with extra mayonnaise or your fucking mic pants, which one? It do I get to keep the mic pants thing a secret or is that like something that like everyone's gonna know about?

Like it's a public scandal. Cause that's actually kind of fun. I gotta go public with it. You gotta go public with it. Oh my God, that is so dimmented, Okay. I know. I know. She's dimmented. You are dimminted. I am. I am. Ah. What do you know what? I think I'm going to

so fucked up. You're fucking Mike Pants, aren't you? I think I'm fucking Mike Pants. Let me tell you something. That is history making. It is. It's right. It's free making. That is history-making. Right. It is history-making. That is all over the blogs, maybe. That is, I feel like I'm going to get some hate, and that's fine, but he's going to get more. And that's going to do more for society, I feel like. So I'm going to take one for the team.

I'm going to say you're selfless. I think it's selfless. I think it's an act of patriotism. That's what I think that would be. I think that would be one of a patriotic thing To take one for the team to say look at these fucking hypocrites That marginalize and pick on drag queens and trans kids because they think they're tough guys. Yeah, yeah, he wouldn't do it Oh, he what I was a tough guy last night. How about that? Yeah, yeah, he wasn't too, well, he was, I was a tough guy last night. How about that? How about that? Yeah, me and yeah, we were real tough last night, sis.

Yeah, I'm taking one for the team. I'm going to be a patriot. I like it. All right. America, not say Simone never did anything for you. That's exactly right. Okay. Simone, now we are going to play Had it or hit it. Oh my God. Welcome to had it or hit it. Oh my god, welcome to had it or hit it. I would hit it. I would have had it. I hit it every day sometimes twice a day.

Had it or hit it, TikTok. It's a real big issue for me because I have made money off of it. So I hit it in that respect. But I just think it one of it's it's it's one of the building blocks to the degradation of a young mind. I do. I do. I think the attention span, I think the misinformation, I think how the algorithm works for people, specifically our country. I don't want to get superlative or anything, but I just think it's a building block. Not to just our society, but just as for the world. I do think it's a big contributing factor

factor to a lot of bad things that are going on. So I, and that respect I've had it, but it does make you some money. So I'll wrap it all around. Very fair. Okay, Simone had it or hit it, tardiness. Ooh, okay. Another two-parter. I can be tardy, but I'm never more than 15 minutes late. If you are pat, if you're 30 to like after after 30 minutes late, I've had it. I've had like I can give

a little grace to drag queens. Drag queens, it's a lot going on. I give a little grace. 30 minutes are above, there's no excuse. There's, I've had it. I've had it. So I'll get I can give a grace period, but I've had it after a certain point. Cause I mean, come on. There's just nothing. There's no excuse to that point. I'm going to advocate for drag queens here for just a second. We've had several on this show.

Every single one has been on time. Right. Very prompt. Yep. Thank you. 100% on time arrival for the drag queens on I've had it. Okay. Uh-huh.

Had it. A professional girl. That's right. Okay. How did you get it? Okay. Okay. How did you get it? Okay. Okay. Last one. How did it or hit it? Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Oh, fucking had it.

Hey, let me tell you something. We need to get rid of the Huckabee. I remember in sixth grade, the father, Huckabee father, was what is it called a governor? Yes. The one they will say, yeah, a governor. And he made us do, girl, this is the ultimate hypocrisy. We had to do those fucking, like, you have to be outside for like a 30 minutes or an hour

and school, you know, like you have recess with you out at like an active hour. If you, if you want to know why the irony of that is, look it up. But, um, just look at the thing. But we had that, but I listen. I cannot stand when people are ignorant. And it comes off. Hersh, she to me, comes off as ignorant, not necessarily not smart, because I do have to give her somewhat of intellect,

but I don't like ignorance. And I feel like she's very ignorant. I think people, especially in Arkansas, don't know no better. So they think, oh, and they thought, oh, she's a woman. So we're really doing it. We're really sickening at you. Like, you know, I'm like, we're putting in a woman that has all this vitriol

and such. It just feels like her spirit is hateful. Yes, it is. It is hateful. It is hateful. I don't like that because, you know, I can disagree with someone. I can, you know, think your ideas are fucking dumb,

but I don't hate people, you know? Like I can say, you know, I don't truly hate people. And I feel like her spirit is hateful. And I don't like that for my stay. I don't like that for people there who just want to exist and be free. And who happens to love to live in Arkansas for all the perks that there are,

because there are perks, you know, there are good some great things about living in Arkansas. But you know, people like that make it so difficult. And so just hard. Harder than it already is to live there. So like, you know, I just, I fucking had it. I've had it. And I think we as a people, especially in the South need a lot more like just education and more just love. We just need more love. And it's just it's hard. It's sad. And it just makes me weary for the the young people and the people who are other who are other, you know, it's just it's just hard and it's I hate it. So I fucking had it. I've had it. I've had it with her too. I've had it with her.

I've had it with her. She's my dad. They're me. They're me. They've been nice to religion to class. Yes. Moral superiority. They have no empathy for anybody that doesn't fit exactly into a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant

box. Right. And it's just such to me when I see there the way they think. I think I'm not an antiquated, hateful, hateful old, old, to think. And let me just say this, if by all these religious Republican leaders in the South from Oklahoma, Texas, and you go straight east, if they're idea that being religious and voting Republican was the best way, they have had super majorities in all of these states for decades. And these are the poorest, the most incarcerated, the highest educated,

the lowest education, the most poverty, it infancy mortality rates, like the list goes on. All the bad stuff, all of it is concentrated right there in all of these blue states that have a bigger population and pay more taxes have to fund all the fuckery that goes on in these states, and I fucking had it. I've had it. I fucking had it. And you know what really got me actually actually, I'm a decision. It will never forget when I, before I moved to Arkansas, went to Louisiana to meet with some of my college friends.

And I'll never forget driving through that state, being like, are y'all fucking kidding me? Like, do y'all not see this? Like, it's so poverty, it's so poverty-stricken. And it's like y'all not see this? It's so poverty-stricken. And it's like, y'all have been voting the same way for God knows how long since the fucking dawn of your state probably. And nothing's changed like what's not clicking. What's not clicking? You know what I mean? It's just insane to me.

And it's sad because we as people deserve to have a good life. You serve to have a good life. And you're already just born and shit and so they don't and they don't really do anything to get you out of that shit. They only care about getting themselves and the people that look like them and the people that are in their tax bracket out of that shit. And they have no regard for you, whether you're white, black, whatever, poor, you know, they're all, they're all, you're all the same to them. They're all the same. So I just don't get how

you don't get that. But you know, hey, maybe what do I know? I'm just, I'm just an award winning drag queen. What do I know? We know that you're an award winner, otherwise you wouldn't be on. I would not be on. That's right. Simone, thank you so much for being on our podcast and for taking one for the team with Mike Pence. Absolutely. Absolutely. Anytime America, I got you. Imagine these nails.

Oh, girl. He'd be more excited than he's ever been in his whole life. Don't you know? I don't like it. And don't let them all come into the room, honey. He would, he don't know what's going on. Oh, he'd probably be scared. He would know what to do, honey.

He would not. Well, thank you so much for joining us. This has been so fun, so fun. Oh, my God. Anytime, anytime. And hey, check out Avalon TV. Oh, well, presents. Plus. Check it out, listener. Avalon TV. That sounds so good. And some month, keep winning. Keep winning. You're a winner. Keep it. That's my plan. That's my plan. Bye. Bye.

My daughter. See later. Bye. You have a good day. You too. What a pleasant, just wonderful. A word-winning guest. I'll tell you, what do we always say about drag queens? What have we learned in the one year of I've had a podcast that we didn't know just absolutely for a fact, always nail it about drag queens. They're smart. They're fucking smart.

They're enjoyable to talk to. They've got their shit together. I absolutely love love love a drag queen and Simone is five out of five stars. That's right. Five stars for Simone. Five stars. That's right. You know what? Pumps, this has just been so fun. We've had this podcast a little over a year now. We've met all of these amazing people. And when we do our live shows, listener, we have people that come see us in a meet and greet after the show. And there are so many young LGBT QIA plus people

that come to us and hug us and thank us from the bottom of their hearts for supporting their communities and We didn't intend to invoke that sort of response We just wanted to make a podcast where we aired our grievances and one of the things we've had it with or these Hypocritical Republicans that are mean to gay people and we've spoken about it before the podcast We continue to speak about it during the podcast, but when we see these kids at our shows and make a connection with them, it is so joyous and so fun and touching and touching. And I just don't want anybody listening to this podcast that's mean to gay people or drag queens.

This is not your space. Hit the bricks. Fucking beat it. Fucking beat it. Bozo. Why are you still here? Fucking psycho. Had it. All right, listener, go give us five stars. Go click the link in bio to come see us. I've had it hot shit tour join us on Patreon, helps tell them. We will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Cheers!