I've Had It - Attention Sneezing Personality Disorder

Episode Date: April 27, 2023

It's Jennifer and Pumps' favorite day of the week, where they get to listen to all of your petty grievances. Jennifer delivers a powerful manifesto defending the rights of canines everywhere and one submission about "c*nty capitalism" has both Jen and Pumps absolutely losing it. Thank you to our sponsors: BetterHelp: I've Had It is brought to you by BetterHelp, visit Betterhelp.com/hadit today to get 10% off your first month. CareOf: This episode is sponsored by CareOf, visit takecareof.com and use code 'hadit50' for 50% off your first order. Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast  Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

So we're supposed to start the podcast. Okay, welcome to I've had it. My name is Jennifer and I am a supporting member of the cast here, the star of our show in multiple countries and 49 states. It's my best friend. I'm Angie and we call her Pops. 49 states. 49 states, Florida does not like you.

No, Florida. You don't like Florida. No, I do like Florida. Okay, that's news to Florida. Well, but, okay, I'm not going to beat that horse, even though I kid for hours. Okay. So, listener, first and foremost, we want to let you know that we are available on Patreon Woo-hoo, and we are going to be following a lot of things on Patreon a lot of behind the scenes

ask us anything pumps his journey into lesbianism and her journey into TikTok and what her for you page What it produces what is pumps talk? Right and I'm going to show you guys live feeds of her for you page on TikTok which I think is going to be like a John Hopkins case style study into pumps. Don't you think Kylie? I do. I'd love to see the inner workings of your brain. Right. Richard, what do you think Kylie? I do. I'd love to see the inner working of your brain. Right. Richard, what do you think is going to be on pumps for you page on TikTok? Oh, no. The earlier episodes,

they can, but for some reason, ass. Yes. Her ass has gone viral in the United Kingdom. Right. In the UK press. Right. Well, but you know what's so fun about today, pumps? What? We get to hear from our listener, which is the funnest. It is so. Yeah, it's the best. I love it. The best. Carly and Richard, who's up first? First, we've got Jeff B. Jeff B. Hi, Jenny and pumps. I am so excited that I get to do this. So I've had it with people bringing their dogs everywhere. Jenny, I know that you're very attached to your dogs,

but look, me personally, I've had it. I work at a restaurant like it's very busy over the summer and we offer outdoor seating. And all there is is just dogs everywhere. I don't wanna be at a public place enjoying my meal when there's dog hair flaying everywhere. It's just dogs everywhere. I don't want to be at a public place enjoying my meal. When there's dog hair flying everywhere, it's just so annoying. Keep your dogs at home. It's okay. They'll miss you for a couple hours. Give them a treat if you have to, but I've had it with people bringing their dogs everywhere. Jeff, be I'll go ahead and start. Jeff, be I think that is a brilliant deduction.

For example, wouldn't we film podcast, every now and then, you'll hear the dogs barking because you bring them to work every day. And if you're out of town, Josh brings them to work. Like, they work here. They have jobs. They have jobs. I'm sorry that your dogs are underachievers, losers. And do not have jobs.

Deadbeats without jobs, but my dogs are employed. So when I'm not at work, they still have a job. They have to be at work. Yeah, now I agree, because we were just at the restaurant. We got a lunch at all the time. And I saw this older woman, and she had the dog, and it had the, whatever you call it, service animal, placard on.

And I mean, she laid out a mat. I mean, I watched the whole thing, and I was just like, you can't just let the dog at home, right? Lots of work with these dogs everywhere. I saw you watching a woman the evil eye. Yeah. And I knew what was going through your head. Leave the dog at home. It's a dog. It's not a human, which I know you have an issue with that I don't call them humans, that you love them more than humans. I do. But I'm just saying like, I'd have restaurant, he's so right about the dog here. I looked over and I saw that woman eating with her dog and it warmed this cold black heart, pups and Jeff B.

And I thought it was adorable and I would much rather a restaurant have dogs in it than babies and toddlers. Well, I mean, I agree with both. Why can't we ban both toddlers, babies, and dogs? I would agree with banning toddlers and babies. But again, like if you go to a restaurant in Europe, they can take their dogs places. I know, but they can, they also smoke cigarettes like crazy. Not indoors any longer. Well, but I'm just saying like, I don't know.

I mean, I personally think it's unnecessary to take your dog everywhere. It's not the dog's fault, the species of canines fault that you and Jeff be hate dogs. Okay. I don't hate dogs. I just don't think they have any place in a restaurant. Well, I like a seeing eye dog.

Yes. That dog, when we were at lunch, and this was like two or three days ago, that dog did not make a noise. No, it didn't. There was a Yak-Mal two tables over, a grown man that made a ton more noise than that dog did. Right, but I just, it just seems a little over the top that you have to take your dog everywhere. Like, I was,

when you first got Tubby the Service Animal designation, I was like embarrassed to tell people that you just bring the dog that I would want to tell you had like diabetes or something, because at least that's a medical reason why you would have a dog. There's, all of this is always geared from the human perspective, okay? I wonder why the dog, these dogs have massive anxiety, particularly tabby before I got cha-cha.

I mean, he would, when I would go out of town, perhaps he would go on a four to five day hunger strike, completely depressed, dejected, demoralized, he felt abandoned. And all you think about is just my feelings. And you never think about my dogs feelings. You never think about the feelings of dogs, which makes me wonder why we're friends

and if we should continue doing this podcast. I will tell you though, I mean, my mom is the worst offender. She has sworn off any more trips until after the dog dies, because the last time they went out of town, it stayed with somebody and cried all day, every day for seven days, didn't eat. That's what they do.

And everything that you geared about the person. Dogs have feelings too. No, I know, but she makes a stake every night, quets it at her and feeds it to the dog every night. And I'm like, the reason the dog's on hunger strike and the reason Tebby gets so depressed when you're gone is because, I mean, you say I am overm othering my kids, you are the biggest helicopter overmother dog mother in the history of the planet.

Huge difference. There's a huge difference here. What's the huge difference? I'll tell you the big fucking difference. Life expectancy. Okay. Mensa. No, I'm really worried about my mom when Max dies.

And when Tubby goes, here's what you have to do. When a dog dies dies you grieve For a week to two weeks tops and then you have to immediately get a new dog, right? I think get a new dog like six or eight months before the old dog dies I think that's a better transition, but I mean you don't like dogs, so I love dogs. I just for Florida I like both but I just... For Florida. I like both. But I just like plays, I actually love that dog so so much, but the hair.

Well, what I think I'm going to do is plan a girls trip for us to Florida. And we're going to take Cha Cha on, Tubby. And we're going to go to Florida with the dogs. And the dogs are going gonna go everywhere with us. And Jeff B, we're gonna come to your restaurant. We're gonna come to your restaurant and I'm bringing my dogs. And I love that Jeff B called me Ginny. I do too.

That's what pumps calls me. Yeah, I don't, because very few people call you anything but Jennifer. That's right. I went by Ginny in high school. You did? Yeah, lower school. And then my nephews call me Aunt Ginny. Aunt Nanny. And then you. And then my nephews call me Aunt Jenny. Aunt Nanny. And then you and some of my other friends call me Jenny. Right. I like Jeff B.

But Jeff B, I just want to say that if I were you, I would seek some sort of therapy for the sociopathie that you and Pumps share and never taking into account the feelings of the dog. You're only taking into account the feelings of humans which one could argue is like human supremacy. And I think canines need to be put on the same platform. Right, Jeff just ignored that jet stream of bullshit and I stand with you on no dogs in the restaurant. All right. Fuck you, pumps.

Okay. All right. Jenny, do you remember the vitamins, supplements and powders I was telling you about from Care Ev? Yes. After you told me about them, I took their online quiz about my lifestyle and health goals and now Care Ev since personalized. Dr. Bact supplements right to my front door. The individual packs are so convenient I can easily take them each day

with my iced tea. It is such a huge relief to me, Pumps, that you're now offsetting this iced tea addiction with something that is healthy and good for you. Since I started using Kirov, I see a huge difference in my hair and skin. They're making both so vibrant. I have noticed since you've been using this product, how vibrant you look, and as the star of our show, it's critical that you always look vibrant. Now that I use Kirov each day,

Jenny, the sky is the limit for my stardom. To shine bright like pumps, you can get 50% off your first care of order. Go to takecareof.com and enter code hadit 5-0. Again, go to takecareof.com and enter code hadit 5-0. All right, Kylie, what's next? Up next, we've got Carrie. People who fucking scream when they sneeze is, I have had it with those people.

You clearly just want attention and that is absolutely not necessary ever. How about you just shut the fuck up in sneeze like a normal person? That's a good one. It is good. Yeah, it is good. It happens. Yeah. Yeah, it is a huge attention sinker. There are, yeah, there are dramatic sneezers.

Right. Emily's a dramatic sneezer. Oh, she's a major dramatic sneezer. Yes. And she, when she starts, it's like a cold chinch. She'll do like 50 sneezes in a row. She can't stop once she gets going. It's like hiccups.

Yeah. That's not fair. Because you can't help it. Is that what you're gonna say? That's not fair. You can't. I'm a dramatic sneezer. See, there you go.

See, this is what happens. See, we know who the offenders are because all you do is look for the but her. The people that are but her about about the hadots are the offenders inter-richered dramatic sneezer. Has your wife ever complained about your sneezing? Everybody complains about it because it's loud. It's aggressive but I can't help it. It's like, oh. Kylie, are you dramatic sneezer? No, and I hate sneezing. It's like pet peeve. I hate when other people sneeze around me. Yeah.

I don't say blessing, like, stop. Yeah, stop. Already. I will tell you after COVID, and they did those like projections, of like, where you're, how far you're sneezed travels. It's pretty good. When we laugh, how far it travels, I viewed sneezing through a different lens since then,

but I will say, Carrie, the dramatic sneezers, that is, I'm really glad you brought attention to this. Right. Because I don't think this is getting enough attention in the press. I don't think I've read one article about it in my entire life. Until Carrie just called in with...

She cracked the case. She totally cracked the case. And I think dramatic sneezing needs to be addressed, studied, and we need to know what is the psychology behind it? Is it attention sinky, Richard? Or you're, I don't feel like Richard's an attention seeker at all. I'm down to find a cure for it. I can find a cure for it.

nasal spray, I'm down for it. I'll be in clinical trials for it. I like it. Okay. All right. I do down for it. I'll be in clinical trials for it. I like it. Okay. All right. I do want to say the first time Emily was up here. She, I was facing my computer.

She's sitting with you guys. And she starts, it was like 16 sneezes in her nose. Yes. Oh my gosh, were you dying? I like panicked. I'm turning around and I look at you guys. No one else was panicked. And so I was like, she just does this.

She just does this. Yeah, she does. Like, your skin was just And so I was like, she just does this. She just does this. Yeah, she does. Your skin was just crawling. I was like, oh my God, someone help her. No, it's, I've been around Emily her entire life. So I'm used to it, but it is, it is, it's not normal. It's not normal. She probably can do like 10 in the right.

But no, I think it's more like what Kylie was saying. We were in Mexico. I remember there was one day it was just like the whole day was a series of Emily sneezing. I wonder if she has allergies. Well, I think it's just a sneezing compulsion. A sneezing compulsion. Yeah. Okay.

We'll see. All right. Emily's going to be so mad at us. Here he is. Oh, God, we're going to get our asses to. Yeah. She's going to be mad. I'm going to block her. Okay. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Pumps, do you remember that time that my marriage was absolutely falling apart? And I would go to my therapist like three times a week? I do remember that because coincidentally, my marriage falling apart and I too was going to a therapist two or three times a week. Those were some dark days but thank God we went to see a therapist to sift through

all of that insanity. I don't think I could have ever gotten through that period of life without having a great therapist. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give better Help a try. It's convenient because it's all online so it's flexible with your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Discover your potential at BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash had it today to get 10% off your first month. That's better

help help.com slash had it. Kylie who's next up next we've got Gabby. I have had it with YouTube ads. They have YouTube ads have gotten psychotic. They're all like, LOL, you fucking cut. You're still getting your prescription lenses from a doctor? Like, what is going on? What is going on? What is like, what stage of capitalism are we at? Where every five seconds on this God-first-saken application, am I being sold something in the most country way possible?

I've had it. All I can tell you, Gabby, I immediately need your phone number. Right. We have to be best friends. We really need to be our best friend because that shit is so good from top to bottom, every adjective, every detail, the delivery, the presentation was fantastic. It was so good and it is so true. So I started, I'm not a big YouTuber,

but sometimes Kylie will send us our episodes to watch on YouTube so I watch them. And not only are the ads awful, like it just jumps in mid-sentence. Right, no, there's the placement of the ads on YouTube. It's terrible. It is awful. Because I look for the Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert monologues.

Right. I'll do that pretty much every day, just kind of see what's going on. And they do, they're like mid-delivery and it's like, and commercial. But the commercials that I notice were like, this so-so security card, maybe it's just old people. It's because you're old.

Thank you, you're welcome. But so they are just mean, they shame you while they sell. And it's just, the ad placement drop, it's like the planes about to land and the person's like the thesis sentence is halfway delivered and you're waiting for the delivery. And then the shitty YouTube ad comes in.

And it's just like, where is the oversight YouTube? I mean, you need to, it's like a multi billion dollar company, get some smart young whippersnappers in there and clean this shit up. It got to be your on to something. Yes, absolutely. I don't know that this is getting enough attention in the press. Surely I would think people complain about that shit all the time. Because it's bad.

Here's the deal. They don't care. Because they're YouTube. Everybody just goes on it. All the time now they have like YouTube TV. And you know, these companies that are too big to fail, oftentimes need to keep delivering a good product. And Gabby, I think that this is something that is a...

It's a pretty universal for sure. LOL cut. Yeah, that's good staff. I can't wait to listen to that one again. I know, I want to hear that again. I mean, that is so good. Gabby, I love you. You are like 1,000%.

Like everything you said, I felt it deep in my bones. That was great. Yeah, I love you. I mean, I'm really starting to get sick of pumps, so I'm going to call you Gabby. Replace me with a newer model. I call you Gabby. Okay. Who's next?

All right. The last one is Victoria. Okay. I've had it with celebrity businesses. They all have makeup lines and skin care lines and shapewear and cookbooks. You're already fucking millionaires. Knock it off.

She's kind of right. I mean, they're all like, Jessica Alba has that organic company. Dipers. So she have like baby stuff? Honest. Honest. Honest. Yeah. all like Jessica Alba has that organic company. Dipers. She have like baby stuff. Honest. Honest.

Yeah. It's like baby diapers, right? No, baby stuff. It's more than that though. All organic like creams and lotions. I think for adults to you, I don't know. I don't have diapers. To adult diapers?

The adult diapers, I buy. No, I mean, yeah, there are like, Gwyneth Paltrow with goop. Yeah. So yeah, there's a lot. I think what they're doing a lot with this is they are putting like, it's an idea that somebody has, and then they find a celebrity to kind of get their percentage

to, and I mean, don't get it twisted. If Stanley Cup came to you with my garbage, Oh my gosh. Oh, Pumps line Stanley Cup, I mean, I think you would dry hump that fucking Stanley Cup all the way to Lesbian TikTok. I mean, I think you would ride that fucking thing. You would scissor that cup like nobody's business. Right. I mean, I do love that. I mean, that's a great point. You would. I've totally would.

Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Totally. I would. Yeah. So, cash in on the... Like, can you imagine if I opened up my cabinet and I had a Stanley cap in every color,

how happy I would be? I just... It's a part of your life that I just don't like to think about. Ha-ha how horrible you are to animals. Oh, shut up. That's two things. Oh my god, you're ridiculous. Those two things combined. Yeah. Maybe you could, you know, what you could do. But Victoria, I know that you've had it with this, but I think it could be somewhat therapeutic for pumps. One part of Stanley that I think I would support is if it was a dog bowl,

they kept the dog water refrigerated. Right. At all times for the dogs, that's how Stanley could get me in. Humans, fuck that. They're not getting refrigerated water. But if my precious little, smooth face angels could have their refrigerated water

at all times. You might have over to this dark side. Yep, but as a person, you will never catch me walking around with an oversized beverage with a straw with lipstick. It's not that bad. I mean, it might be a little bit stained. It's disgusting. It's not that bad.

It's just over the top. No, no. You're dramatizing. No, I'm going to put it on Patreon. You're going to steal it, put it on Patreon. Yeah, it's disgusting. It's not that bad. It is bad.

It's really not that bad. It really, okay. We're not gonna agree. Let's just agree to disagree. But it's more fun to tell each other to fuck off over and over. Fuck you and get off my Stanley straw. You know what I would almost love

as much as a Stanley cap? I mean, it's close. To remember my make a wish that I wanted to go down to the Dallas Caboor cheerleader office and follow there the director around. Sadly, I do. Yeah, like that would be almost, I'd be almost as happy. So if you could go hang out with the director of the Dallas Caboist cheerleaders, but you could never have a Stanley Cup again. Or Stanley Cups for the rest of your life. What are you picking?

Oh my gosh, that is just like Sophie's choice. That would be so hard. I would kind of lean toward the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders because it's not on the TV anymore. Okay, let me ask you this. Would you rather go to a women's softball game or to the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader tryouts? For sure the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders tryout. Oh really?

Right because you have like a lot of softball games. What if it was the world series and it's the University of Oklahoma and the college world series Finals the best seats ever or the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader tryouts. I mean those college world series games are blast They really are so fun. Oh, yeah, I'm sure it's just a hoot to people I'm sure bring the cocaine and Molly and it's just a big fucking. Just hitters and blow the whole time. No, I don't know. Jennifer, that is really terrible. I have to think about it.

Okay. Well, I'm just, you know, pins and needles. I have to find out which I would rather do. What when? Okay. If I got to be a judge for the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders tryouts. Yeah. For sure that. Because I love it when they lean over to each other and go, she's just not DCC ready. I'm just dying to say that one time. Listener, this is just, I mean, this is new love. This is really titillating conversation

episode. The funeral from the podcast. It's coming. It was really great getting to know all of you. And I can't thank you all enough for dropping by each Tuesday and Thursday, but we have finally done it. We've gone too far. Too far. My chance, if we are backed by popular demand,

go ahead and follow us on YouTube and Instagram and subscribe and do all that shit you're supposed to, oh, TikTok, we have a banger of a TikTok. Thanks to Kylie, but anyway, we will see you hopefully next Tuesday and Thursday. That's right, and either way, it's Bill's cut. That's right. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What I'm having with you. What's your turn? I'm having with that.

Pick up that class of Pina Grigio, your drink of choice, and come have some fun with us on Turtle Time. We're gonna do more than just drink and party on this podcast, Mom. I know, I know. Okay, if you don't know who I am, well, I'll remain a singer, and that's my daughter, Avery.

And you probably know us best from the real housewives of New York. And now you'll get to know us even better on our podcast, Turtle Time. Let's make more iconic moments together every Wednesday. It's Turtle Time. Follow Ray and review now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.