I've Had It - BJ’s for PJ’s with Ashley Longshore

Episode Date: January 31, 2023

Jennifer, Pumps and renowned artist Ashley Longshore try to connect the dots between self-diagnosed food allergies and not being able to shut up about it.  Also, what would you endure to be able to have your own Gulfstream?  Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps   Special Guest:  @ashleylongshoreart

Well, I'm sort of you had it with this week. What I've had it with is the inefficiency of people in the self-checkout line. Oh yeah. It's not that hard to do it. So this is what happened the other day. I need like three things. So I run in. I don't even get a cart.

I just, I'm holding them in my hand. I go to the self checkout, 25 or less. So I'm thinking this will just be a one minute deal. There are two guys, one girl and one old man, they were at least 100 years old, they were so old. They weren't the problem. There was this girl that, oh, I would say, was probably 30-ish.

She had her cart. She was getting like one item from the cart walking over to the scanner, scanning it. The two old people finished before her. I finished before her. But while I was waiting on her, I envisioned that I was taking my items and like chunking them as hard as I could at her and they were hitting her on the head And it was knocking her down because I was just homicidal of how inefficient she was. Yeah, I mean why the fuck does it take so long? Why don't you have all your stuff ready to bar scan right don't go back to your card every time pull your card up there

Like so there's some serious self-checkout edit that needs to be instituted across the board. I agree. And I think what I find most remarkable about this is that you are good at self-checkout. I'm not the best. Now, I've gotten better in the beginning. I was really hard, but now I can probably,

I know where the labels are and all that, but I'm efficient. I have it all lined up and ready. Right. I am not going to go back and forth to my cart for every item like a fucking boso. Right. I mean, I'm like two senior citizens, one foot in the grave. They've taken to the technology.

You're a millennial and you can't check any faster. Yeah. No, that's disturbing. It's horrible. And I relate to the homicidal rage that you felt. Homicidal. I feel that often out in the public, in general public with people. You know, when you go to a store or a retailer and, you know, like somebody bumps into

me or, you know, just, you're kind of walking down an aisle somewhere and somebody just stops and then you're about to bump into them. Yeah. It just, I feel, I feel that often. It's bad grocery store etiquette. It really, really is. Bad grocery store etiquette. And what do you do when somebody's like Yahooing,

like the yogurt, they're trying to make an informed decision about the yogurt, they're reading the labels, they're basically hogging up the entire thing. Do you wait? An aisle hogger. Or do you just move in? I move in. I move in, too.

I just like, excuse me, slowpoke. I give about five to seven seconds to see if they're going to go in, get their item. If they're just, you know, I fucking all the yogurts, you just, you have to go in, you have no choice, but to go in and get your stuff. And I think if you are this, if you're struggling this hard, on which yogurt to buy, like the bigger mountains you have to climb in life, it's tough on them. No, an aisle hogger at a grocery store really irritates me. And then sometimes I find this very irrational rage, like I go to turn my cart to make a U-turn around

from one aisle to another and there's a cart right there. They really haven't done anything wrong, but in my mind, I think God damn it, get out of my fucking way. Like this super entitled, like, I'm turning here in your cart. It's really irrational. So I experience a lot of irrational homicidal rage

at the grocery store, which is why most of the time I do the grocery delivery. Yeah. Because then I just, I don't have to deal with, with that experience. Right. No, that's a nice feature. Let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. Pharmaceutical commercials.

Side effects may be diarrhea. And then it's everything. Yes. Diaria. Vomiting. Suicidal thoughts. Homicidal rage. Constipation. Yes. Diarrhea, vomiting, suicidal thoughts, homicidal rage, constipation, cancer. I mean, it's just like, by the end of it,

I'm like, I don't fucking want this. No, I don't want to take that. I don't want this at all. And it starts off very innocent. Like here's, here you are at the park, pushing your kid on a swing, and you have sinus problems, right? And then it shows like, you know,

kind of like dust swirling or something. And it's like, but your eyes get runny. We have this new drug for you, and it's gonna be so great, except for it's probably gonna make you shit yourself and wanna kill yourself. Right. And I'm like, how on earth is this such a great

A marketing plan? And B, I do think it's kind of weird that like, our medical system is so geared for profit. That's what I think. It's weird that medicine, because I can't just go in and say, hey, I want Viagra, you have to have a prescription. And I say Viagra, because I just, the only medical commercial that I remember

is the erection for lasting work for hours. Just like, are you kidding me? Exactly. I mean, it's unbelievable. Right. That's like the worst side effect ever. I'd rather just throw up for days. And we've touched on that on episodes.

Yeah, in the past where men are juicing, you know, and skirting the system. But I agree. I mean, that is just, that is too long to have a time to have an erection. I mean, even if Brad Pitt came at me without, I would say no. It's too long. Every time I see these commercials, every time I see them on the television, I get so irritated by it, by the whole process of it, that it causes all these side effects, that these pharmaceutical companies are making millions of dollars to where they're advertising, that they're hustling doctors, you know, taking them on trips. It's like a whole racket, the whole thing, and it's like other countries you just have medical care. It's not perfect. Your doctor just tells you.

But ours isn't either. You know, it's like this massive for-profit thing. Like I think, you know, those little cups, pill cups, that if you're in the hospital, they're just these little tiny paper cups, time magazine, or somebody did some ex-bozé on the medical. Those, the insurance companies build like $15. For those little cups?

Yes. Oh my gosh, Emily had a New Year's Eve party at my house. With Jello shots? I've got 1,000 of those cups. You could be making a shit ton of money. A millionaire-us with my little hospital caps. Totally. See, that's such a racket.

It's a total racket. And I think all of these side effects, I don't need to hear when I'm watching television. I want to hear about people having diarrhea. It's not right. It's not a live. Right. You don't, then it makes me not want to ever take it. Right. But do you ever remember the names? I never remember the names. It's always like wow, wow, wow, wow. No, it's like, you know, like future Easter. You know, it's always some like, you know, like, future Easter. It's always some weird, you know, kind of new agey kind of,

right, just a whole bunch of consonants with a vowel thrown in. Yes. Like, where'd you could never roll off the top? Yeah, totally. Yeah, no, I completely agree. We're going to talk about today. Well, you know what? We have to do.

Welcome to our podcast. Oh my gosh. Welcome to our podcast. It's called I've had it where we air the pettiest of grievances. Right. But we're also a podcast about positivity and homicidal rage. Yeah. Make sense of it what you will. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. AKA pumps. Angelina pump container. We have Kylie Jen, Nilly, and Richard with us today. Today we are going to talk about something that is so important, and it is the issue

of fake food allergies. It's taking over the world. Yes, because there are real food allergies, and those are real, and those people hardly ever talk about them, right? But it's the fake food allergy people that are the worst, that are causing a lot of problems for all of us. I have never been asked so many times in my life when I order food if I have food allergies.

That is so weird that they do that now at restaurants for the most part, which I think the burden falls on the person. Right. You're the afflicted, then you're, it falls on you to make sure they know that. Yes. And our guest today is spectacular in every way. In every single way imaginable. She is a boss bitch, big titty energy, big pussy energy, big dick energy, big bad boss

bitch energy. She is amazing. Her name is Ashley Longshore. She's an artist from Mississippi, but now has her studio in New Orleans. Fabulous artist. Incredible artist. And you can always spot what's hers. Immediately. Immediately. It's so unique. Happy art. Happy art colorful. Yes. No, she is the shit. She is the shit. So let's get Ashley on here. Ashley, motherfucking long short. Woo!

I'm so happy to see you guys. We are so happy to see you. We are so happy to see you. And what we want to do is be happy with you bitching about shit. That's what we want to do. We want to just... Oh, let's go on ramps.

Let's fucking go. Love a ramp. Off. Let's go on. I genetically am blessed. I come from a long line of rangers. So it's really just in my blood. Well, okay, Ashley, why don't you...

First of all, this is Poms. You know me, I'm Jennifer. Hey. Hey, and so what we is Pops, you know me, I'm Jennifer. Hey, and so what we wanna talk to you about today is just tell me the top two things are out the top of the bat that you've had it with. Right now, I don't have on any underwear. I actually have to go away all of my underwear. I think underwear is a scam, you know what I mean?

But also, I don't like thong. They hurt, thong underwear hurts my asshole. And I don't know how people do it. It's like, it's like what it does to your taint. It ain't right. You know what I mean? I also don't like being forced by like, you know, media into thinking that I have to eat foods to be thin that are just gonna make me shit in my pants.

Right, right. Or sneeze or like, you know, laugh really hard. It's like, it's like, you know, if I'm not eating foods that give me diarrhea then I'm not, you know, eating correctly. So, also talking my head, I'm kind of mad at those things. Well, I can tell you, I've totally had it with any sort of diet trend.

Any, I think they're all rackets and they trot one out every 30 to 60 days. It's like, here's the new diet racket, it's this and then you'll run into somebody and they're like, oh no, I'm doing this diet and it's like crash diet 30 days, they lose 10 pounds, then you see them three months after that and they put back on 20.

So I'm like, these things don't fucking work. You know, if you're... If you, and also like, you know what I mean? Like I wear necklace most days, I don't have it on today that says I would fuck me. But I'll pick up in the morning and I do naked jumping jacks in front of the mirror. Yeah.

Because nothing, nothing else the rest of the day can be that horrific first of all. The second of all, it's like, you know what? I love me some motherfucking me. God damn, I love me. And I don't want anybody telling me why I can't just like, boom, this is what it is. I've also never had a hard time getting a man. I've been with my man for 17 years. He ain't never turned it down. All they want is a fucking titty and a hank of hair anyway.

Right. I got it. I got that for you. Right. Right. And so let's talk about the faking fakers that say they're allergic to gluten until it's 2 a.m. and they're drunker than cuter brown. I mean absolutely snockered out of their minds and all of a sudden

somebody orders a cheese pizza and Julie, you know, the tridelt is scarfing down the whole fucking pizza, not even sharing any. So what are your thoughts on that? Well, first of all, I have to say I'm not friends with anyone that's gluten free. Are they just removed? No, I just, I know I've had it with that. I've just had it with that. I have to. I've just had it with that, you know?

No, it's exhausting because there is a small percentage of the population, like 0.01% that have celiac disease, which is real and it is fatal and they can eat gluten. They don't, if I can talk about it, but these, these, the other 99.9% of these people are lying liars. I don't think, I think that they're self-diagnosed a lot of people. 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100 No, it's so true. I mean, we were just talking about earlier. When I go to order food at a restaurant, they're always like, is there any food allergies?

We need to be made aware of. And I'm like, enough. Enough with the food allergies. People who have food allergies, genuine food allergies, because I have a couple of friends that do, they handle that shit on their own with the waiter. I'm tired of constantly being asked about the food allergies. They have to ask that because of the lawyers.

That's true. Yeah. It's because of the lawyers. Yeah. Yeah, you're exactly right. Whenever they ask me if I have any allergies, I say, well, I'm allergic to bad service and shit that's really basic. Oh, that's sassy.

I like that. I know. I know, and that's probably, I probably had like a personality drink before I got to dinner, which is why I would say something like that. But when I, but I mean it, you know. Okay, here's another one I have. I've just built up about this one.

Okay. Sucking almond milk. I hate it. You cannot milk it almond. It's ridiculous. I hate it. How do you milk a fucking nut? That's exactly. It hates like fucking cardboard. And look, look, I drink it. I drink gallons of it. Okay, like I drink it because because I hated fucking soy milk. Okay. And I don't have like a lactose allergy or any kind of shit like that. I'm just like,

it's got less calories and fucking milk and maybe it'll give me diarrhea and also skinny all day. Hey, almond milk. I hate it from the bowels of my soul. That's how much I hate it. I do love oat milk and let me tell you, I do have this really amazing friend. I do love oat milk and let me tell you, I do have this really amazing friend. God bless her, she's so fucking gorgeous. She's got the longest legs I've ever seen on a human being. She's all under like help food,

but she's not annoying about it. She doesn't talk about that, she's healthy on her own. She doesn't push it in my space. She used to make homemade cashew milk. Have you ever had that? Never. No. That is worth talking about. space. She used to make homemade cashew milk. Have you ever had that? Never.

That is what that is worth talking about. Hash you milk is the like it's sweet and rich and decadent and unbelievable. It is everything any other nut would want to be. I'm like, give me that nut, baby, give me that nut. Give me that, she's nut. But I hate almond milk, I hate it. Yeah, that's stupid. What do you think of it? Actually, actually, I'm about to start an Instagram page

that's just, how much I fucking hate almond milk. I'm gonna try fucking hate almond milk. I'm gonna try fucking hate almond milk. Almonds are dead to me.com. So let me ask you about going commando all the time. So you go, you go commando downstairs all the time. What about free the net, free the tip bras? What's going on there?

I don't have a bra right now. Oh my gosh. So fuck that shit. I've got to go to Palm Beach for a show in a couple weeks. You can't go to Palm Beach without fucking underwear. Right. There's certain etiquette you have to follow. You can't go to Palm Beach with your pussy hanging out.

Everybody knows that. I'm in a relationship. Now, if I was trolling for a 80 year old billionaire, honey, you best believe. I'd be flapping these pussy lips. Oh, no. And I actually, one of the things I have to wear is a white dress.

I have a fucking thong. And so my asshole is just going to have to take a beating to say capitalism. Yeah. Well, I mean, sacrifices have to be made at times. Sacrific. Yes. I mean, look, I'm an entrepreneur. I'm running a company. I don't have time for made at times. Exactly. Yes. Honestly, I mean, look, I'm an entrepreneur. I'm running a company.

I don't have time for all of this. I don't. I think you could start. I'm supposed to have diarrhea where I'm thought and be conscious of my, you're not supposed to think about your butthole. Right. Right. Why am I wearing something that I'm like, I'm painfully aware of my asshole all day long.

You know, and I'm all trying to be a lady at all these art shows and stuff. And then I'm like, Oh my God, do I have a hair on my chin? Did I wax my nose? Is my gray hair showing? Are my eyelashes long enough? Am I going to have to put on an abatency to have I waxed my fucking muskrat? What's up? So many hairs that come in different places as you age.

I mean, it's unbelievable. But I think you're kind of talking to, because we both work, comes as a lawyer, I'm an interior designer, as you know, because I buy Ashley's art for my projects. But as a woman, you have to do so many more things. And there's so many more things you have to be aware of when you're running a business.

And I think it's just a lot. And you paint a lot of amazing women. And she has this Diane von Ferson burger. I was walking around New York and I just happened upon that fabulous show by accident. I didn't know it was gonna be there. Josh and I go in, it is like this whole gallery full of all these powerful boss bitches that Ashley has painted. And I think that is

that is my favorite vibe of all of your artwork are the powerful boss bitch paintings. They're amazing. Mine too, they make me bright. They make me very bright. Those are just, you know, and Diane, I worked with her and she curated those and God, she's so amazing. And yeah, I'm so glad you got to see that. It's actually in a museum now and it's going to be traveling around. So I'm amazing. And I'm adding to it, actively adding to that collection. But you know, you see all those women and the things that they accomplished and the things that they didn't and how they handled their failures and Know and and then you know, they were women at a different time a lot of them than where we are right now and

And you know, they're going through the same shit that we're going through and you know, we just we just got to do the fucking best we can right that's right But I do feel like you know, I'm 47 and I do and I was saying this to my man the other night. I said, you know, I'm 47 and I do, and I was saying this to my man the other night, I said, you know, you get to be this age and you're running a company and you're fighting the hair battle and you're painfully aware of your asshole, you're just saying, you're may not give you diarrhea, if you're lucky and people are trying to give you a

fucking almond milk latte and, you know, you're battling people with gluten disorders. I mean, it's a fucking jungle out there. You get to this point and it's like, you realize why nobody says, damn, I really wanna go out there and find me like a 48 or 49 or a million dollars. That is the God's truth.

Because, you know what, I've just had it. I've just had it. I've just had it. Yes. And I know what I don't like and I know what I love. Right. And you know, I take care of myself, but you know, shit, man. Actually, I relate to that because I think when, because I built a business as well. And so when you're doing it, you're in this just grind mode. You're doing it. You're like, okay, I'm going to make it. I'm going to do it. And everything's happening so quickly. And then all of doing it, you're in this just grind mode. You're doing it, you're like, okay, I'm going to make it. I'm going to do it. And everything's happening so quickly. And then all of a sudden, you reach a level of success.

And you can exhale. And you can, like, back and go, okay, I have financial security. I have built something here. And then all of a sudden, I noticed a little bit of homicidal rage set in, not actively throughout the day, but like, I just my tolerance level for bullshit is completely diminished. I mean, completely diminished.

I'm much happier with me. I like the 48 year old version of myself, much better than I did the 28 year old version or the 38 year old version. 100% I did. But I just when people are, you know, selling some form of bullshit, whether it's their gluten, fake gluten allergy, or fake busy people, fake busy people really fucking irritate me.

And we all know fake busy people. And I just feel this like, oh God put a sock in it. But I can't tell you how many people I know that literally have fucking nothing to do. I'm talking, they don't have Jack shit to do. I mean, what? You gotta get away from those people, those are the scariest people.

Yeah, and they tell you how busy they are. And I'm like, this is a complete fake busy person. You don't have a job. You're gonna be doing. I don't know. You don't, they don't have a job. Kids are you doing? I don't know. You don't have a job. Kids don't school. I know. I know what they do.

I know exactly what they do. They're chronic masturbators. They are absolutely that busy. They are absolutely. It has to be. It's the only thing that makes you charging all those devices. You know how many double D batteries these people go through? Like the Amazon boxes pile up on the curb.

I mean, they're chronic masturbators. I mean, they have got to be chronic masturbators. Absolutely. Pumps was talking about how before you came on, how she was at the checkout counter at the grocery store. And there was somebody that was an inefficient self-checker outer. She was just like taking a-

I had no tolerance. None. I don't even go to that lane. I don't even go to that lane because I also have the rage, and I'm like, I can't watch you try to do this. Right. I can't, I can't, no, I'm so with you on that. I haven't really thought about how much that irritates me,

but when I even see the self-check out, I roll my eyes back and I head so far. Like I roll my eyes so far back, I can feel it in my gut. Right. Yeah, I can't stomach it. I don't know why. I mean, they have to have a self-check out helper

because everybody always fucks it out. Yes. And so I'm like, what is the logic behind this? Why would you have the helper this or anyway? Just make another line. Yes, because it is really the self-check, I mean, can we just continue just a little bit of services that we had like remember back in the day when you could pull up and somebody would pump your gas

and you'd pay more for full service? I want that back. I want that back. I want that back. In some states they have that. I believe in Oregon for environmental issues. You can only get full service. Yeah. But yeah, I do remember that because when I was 16, my father had an account at a gas station like that, which and I was not supposed to be using it. And I did and I got big trouble. I got real big trouble. Those were the days when you could go and get gas by beer all on your parents' gas card. We didn't know how sweet it was.

We had no idea. Actually, what do you think about a person that goes on to, like, let's say that's, let's say they watch this podcast or listen to a clip of us. And instead of not liking what we're saying, they just scroll on. They go ahead and go into the comments and tell you specifically why they don't like you. And then also announce their departure

that they're gonna unfollow you. And we're talking about this long of a sentence. What do you think about those types of trolls? Well chronic masturbators get on the internet. You know, a lot of times they're dehydrated. Chronic masturbation. I don't know. I would like to invite them over to my home for an almond milk latte. We could talk about it.

We could talk about it. I'd like to offer them a selection of thongs from scums. You know, I guess there are just some people that are just fucking assholes. Instead, I take my energy and I make art about it and then I get paid. Then I go get fucking neck it on a yacht. That's gross. Chris is in some cashew milk. You know, let's talk about how empowering it is as a woman to have your own money in your own career

and be beholden to no penises. I ain't sucking a dick unless I want to. I am. and I hate. Prach. Now, there are a couple of things I would suck dick for. Okay, let's hear them. I mean, a fucking Gulf Stream. 100%.

Yes. With a maintenance package and three pilots. 100%. Like, I'll give you a pinky up to the second knuckle. There is no doubt that is the best luxury on the planet. And sometimes as an entrepreneur, because this shit is motherfucking hard. On some days, I think, I just wish,

I wish I could just suck Uncle Sam's dick. Instead of paying taxes. Yes, oh, I would give Uncle Sam the mean. It's Chetapet Texas. Yes. Oh, I would give Uncle Sam the meanest fucking blowjob. I would cut the balls. I mean, I would give it, you know, like a thumb. If he wanted to thumb, I'm not saying it. Seriously.

Oh my God, that is so funny. Good. Ashley, I love it. So what tell us what you're working on now? Well, I've got that show coming up in Palm Beach. So, you know, I'm finished the collection for that. And now I've started on a new collection that I'm releasing right before Valentine's Day. And I've got a little champagne collaboration that I did. So, you know, there will be bubbles down there in Palm Beach where we're launching that there. And, you know, I've just got my overall madness that I'm working on. I've got some secret projects

and something while that I'm doing soon. I love it. I saw your drunk royals. Love them. That is so good. And people message us a lot and are like, what's your opinion on Harry and Megan? And I'm like, okay, everybody has a feckin' opinion on it, but I want to tell you guys mine.

So here's the person I'm most pissed off at about the whole thing, is King Charles. King Charles needs to feckin' step up to the plate and say, I'm not taking the title away from my son. I'm not doing that. He is my son. He will come to my coronation. He will be next to me. I'm so sorry you're hurting. I'm so sorry that you feel hurt by your family, but I am your father and I'm here to love you and be with you and be close to your children, my grandchildren. And he's just completely excluded from that, because if they were my cubs, I have two sons, and one of my sons was pissed off at me

and felt aggrieved by something that happened in their childhood, which everybody has and fucked up components to their childhood. So I'm sure there's a lot of shit I'm gonna be hearing about in the future. And I know that, you know, my husband, their dad, is a recovering drug addict, he's in recovery now. And so we have some some issues there. But if Dylan or Roman, one of my sons felt aggrieved and felt hurt

by our family of origin so much so to move out of the country, I as the adult, even though he's 30, I would still be the mom and say, listen, that is my son. I am so sorry he is hurting. I'm not taking his title away. He will always be my son. This is his birthright. He will be front and center at my coronation. Period in the story,

fucky British press, leave them alone. And I just, that has not happened. It has not happened at all. That is the synthesis of being a royal. Right. Because Charles, I don't think has ever been loved and nurtured. Right. When you're loving, nurturing, you know, mother, he wouldn't begin to know how to do that.

I mean, you heard Harry say that even after his mother died, you know, he never even cried about it. Yeah. And to school, you know, by himself and was kind of just thrown to the wolves to deal with it without therapy or counseling. I mean, I think as little girls, we grow up and think,

oh wow, to be a princess or a queen. Right. Now we're really learning what that shit really means on lots of different levels. And I think it would just suck. So it would suck. So bad. I think individually, we all do what we wanna do

to be happy in the very short amount of time that we're here. Kudos to Harry and fucking Megan. That's what I think too. Right, also. Harry's mother was killed by the paparazzi in the British media and all that. I don't blame the child for fucking me and having PTSD

and not wanting his woman. And if you notice in my Drunk Royal's collection, Harry and Meghan are not in that collection. I noticed that. I did notice that. That's why I brought it up too, because I figured that was why. You know, the human existence is certainly a fascinating one,

isn't it? That is the truth. And you like to go to bed really early and wake up super early, right? I do do that a lot of times. When I'm not just on a full-blown, you know, wildness, bender. I'm being productive, man.

I'm stacking up my fucking paper. I got shit I want to do. You know, so. You got to, you got a Gulf Stream, you got to buy. That's right. Or, or, second deck. Putting it out here right now, and I'm pretty sure I can convince my man

that it won't be an issue. More than happy, and I know he wouldn't mind if he got to fly on it. I'm more than happy to give someone an unbelievable fucking hummer. More like golf stream, I need it new and I need to pick out the interior and I need any pilots in a full maintenance package

for infinity. I would like a butthole for that. How many blow jobs in a row consecutively would you give to get that Gulfstream? Oh God. I mean, to get a Gulfstream? Yeah. Oh, bitch, let's go.

Let's go. Bring them on. Bring them on. I mean, for a Gulfstream, I don't need a yacht. Right. I don't even need a big ass mansion, but to me, to be able to fly around on a PJ and for God's sake, let me preface this. I would also appreciate and I'll give somebody a pinky up to the second knuckle.

Please can we have the earth friendly fuel? I'm not trying to take down the planet with this Gulf Stream, okay? I'm just trying to see my friends. And not be able to go through a security line. Right. It's a miserable experience. Miserable. Yeah, I need a Gulf Stream. I need a SoulDouche. That's what it would do.

SoulDouche. Well, Ashley, I cannot tell you. This has been the highlight of our day. We love you. We love your art. We love the girl power shit. We love the hadets with the Viking thongs, the butt floss, all of them.

And the best I've had it. Yeah, your high-hatets are, I mean, they're gonna go down in our, I've had it all of things. I've only just gotten started. There's a lot more. We might, a reoccurring segment, Ashley's had it. I've had it. You're gonna have to be irregular because this is the kind of... I'm here. I'm here for this. I live for this right here.

Okay. This is the kind. This is the kind of shit that we need. This is the kind of shit that our listeners need. Yes. Because when you get to be our age, we have earned the right to say we have had it and we're not going to sit around and pump unicorns up your ass all the time. We're all about positivity, but we're also, we find it therapeutic to sit around and pump unicorns up your ass all the time. We're all about positivity, but we're also, we find it therapeutic to get shit off our chest. Yeah, like we didn't even get to talk about how we'd had it with snazin and pissin' on our pants.

Exactly. And that's gonna, that is what we'll, that's what we're gonna have you on for the next episode. Ashley, go crush it in your white thong, in your white dress, and Palm Beach. Please tell our listeners where they can find you. Well, they can find me at Ashley Longshore Art. They can find me, if you need a PG version,

which if God help you, Ashley Longshore World. Go to my, just fucking Google me, my God. Actually, we love you. And you can find me somebody that can get me a fucking golf stream bitch. I'll get you a painting. You be my best friend forever. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love you Ashley. I love you Ashley. I love you Ashley. I love you Ashley. I love you Ashley. Ashley almost killed me.

She's so funny. She is so funny. I'm a guy. She is so funny. Oh my gosh. I want to go to New Orleans and be her best friend. It's so refreshing. Yes.

Just to be around somebody who's so uninhibited because we're that way. And I just, I find it so refreshing to not worry about tiptoeing and walking on eggshells and just saying, this is how I feel if you don't like it, fuck off. Fuck off, just fuck right on off. And her art's amazing. Ashley's art is incredible.

And it's, she has, I mean, she's basically a celebrity artist and I am so grateful that we had her on our show. And Pumps, maybe she could do a painting of you. Absolutely. I think for sure. Powerful woman. No, we're all with your fucking Stanley Cup. I have to bring my Stanley with me.

And Ashley, if you listen to this episode, the next time we have you on, I forgot to talk to you about these fucking Stanley cups. I wonder if she has one. If she does, I'm going to be so happy. I don't make me so happy. Oh, no, I know. Well, thank you all for listening. Please like us, follow us, subscribe to us. Send us a voice memo via DM on Instagram at I've had it podcast pumps. What did we tell him? See you next Tuesday. Oh, but we just discovered something new since we're releasing these bonus contents. See you next Thursday.

Also spells Kant. Yeah, see you next Thursday or see you next Tuesday. We're both. Ha ha ha. I'm happy with that. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy.

I'm happy. All I can say about that is, I'm happy. I've had it. I've had it. I've had it. I've had it. I can say about that as I've had it.