I've Had It - Born Again Virgins for Trump

Episode Date: September 3, 2026

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So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready, one, two, three. Patriots, gay, triots, they triots, black triots, brown triots, everybody that is not Maga, we love you, and the triple Trumpers can do what, pumps? Fuck off! Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, I was like, I've had it so hard that I was homicidal. So I've had it with AI in general, of course, and I could go on. But, specifically I'm talking about when you need customer service and you're trying to reach out about a problem and you can't just reach out. You can't even email nowadays. You can't talk. You can't even talk

to a computer. You have to chat box. You have to AI chat box and they always give it a name. Like, you know, it's a trendy name. What the fuck? Okay. So I'm chatting with the box and they need my account number or my order number. So I get it. I actually had my order number. And I give it to him, well, we don't recognize that order number. So I give it again. We don't recognize the order number. You know me. I'm terrible at tech. So I thought, well, maybe this is not right. Maybe it's me. So I go in. Anyway, short story long, it took me 38 minutes to convince the chat box that I had the right order number, but that I needed to actually speak with the representative. And then the chat box told me that the representative would call me, but it would be four

hours later. So four hours later, I get a call. I'm at the gym, so I have to race and get my phone or whatever to find out what my order number was. I give him the order number and I said, he said, oh yeah, it pulls right up. And I said, well, I gave the chat box that. Like, 500 times. And he said, yeah, well, you know, the AI doesn't always understand the terms. So sometimes it just doesn't get it even if you have the right number. What? Why do we have AI then? Why do we have AI? I fucking hate AI. Hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it. I've had it. Stop with AI. Well, and it gets worse when you think about the AI investment, this product that you couldn't communicate with is what is in a very Ponzi scheme style manner holding up the economy

right now. And it's in a lot of ways it's not that great of a product. I've read that they predict that AI is the one that picked the target of the Iranian school allegedly. Or there's been suggestions to that. So AI is just, I have clawed. And sometimes I'm I have it do some things for me. But in general, the whole idea that all of these AI bots are going to come in and take all of these jobs, when the service they're providing is not very good, as you just spelled out for us, it's pretty depressing. And I think we're all dealing with since COVID, the aftermath of isolation,

especially Zoomers. the you hear people on both sides talk about oh lockdowns were so bad and it was so bad for the kids because they were so isolated and we know from psychiatrists and psychologists that connectedness is so important for the human experience for longevity for health for all of these things these billionaire oligarchs aside from fucking up your return they want to isolate us even further and that's that's the real danger of this but i have a grievance to that. So I was on Instagram and I'm scrolling through and all of a sudden there's like this hot

ass UPS guy. I mean hot 12 out of 10 and he's doing a dance in the back of his truck. You're like, I'm like, I mean, and he's like, I mean, just a total smoke show right? And I'm just like, oh my God. But as I'm watching him do his dance, I'm like, he's really polished. Like, polished looking

his muscles, everything. I was like, I'm just so attracted to this guy. And then as I got to the end of the video, I was like, is he gay or is he European? Because, you know, there's a fine line for American. You know, somebody who in Europe, a man that is cultured, could come to America and be more gay passing because, you know, we have the broke manosphere,

you know, dip shits that have to wear, you know, with their guts out, pink arms and all of them. I'm a big badass. I'm going to the boot camp. I listen to Andrew Tate and, you know, Alex Jones. Fuck, yeah, Meg. You know, we have those kind of men. So I go to his page because it showed off like in my 4-U page.

I'm like, okay, well, I'm going to figure out, is this guy European? Because I think he might be European. I'm still clinging on that maybe he's straight because he's really polished. And I'm like, is a straight man capable of being this polished, even if they're European? I'll be goddamn. He is an AI account. Really? Yes.

And you could not tell. And you can kind of tell. I was like, because I was, is he gay? Is he straight? So now the new thing, when I see this, I'm going to be like, are they gay? Are they gay? Are they European? Or are they AI?

Yeah. And all these women are like, drooling like, great moves. Oh my God. And I'm like, you know, I'm like Mrs. Robinson over here. Like he's totally, I love this GPS guy. I'm totally in on it. Yeah, he's fake. Total fucking bullshit.

I'm thirst. over a made-up, hot. The reason I couldn't figure out if he was European or if he was gay was because he was too good to be true. Right. What's the saying when it's too good to be true? It usually is how that goes. Here's the thing.

If you couldn't tell, that makes me even more nervous because I really can't tell. I sit my kids like some reel or something and I was like, oh my gosh, look at this. This is the best. This da-da-da-da-da. And they're like, mom, it's AI. I've done that a million times to Kylie. I've sent something not knowing it was AI. And then I started looking at fingers.

Isn't that the tell sometimes? Like the fingers are weird? I can't tell. It's going to get worse. I'm going to get catfished. I mean, it's just a matter of time before I get on this podcast and say, I am in love. I've met the man that I am going to marry. We are going to run away.

We are going to be so happy. And he's going to be an AI bot. That's just going to happen. That's my next phase of life. Huh? It might be kind of perfect, the perfect relationship for you. It would definitely have its advantages.

I wouldn't have to doll up before we went out. If I didn't want to talk, I could just put them on mute. Nobody's feelings would be hurt. It's not all bad. Yeah. Maybe I can introduce you to the UPS. Let me see if I can find that.

I think I might have saved it so Kylie can play it. So the Gatriots can just thirst trap with me. because I think, let me see if I can find it. All right, here he is. Oh, my gosh, he is hot. Right. So you can see how. Right.

So I was totally into it, right? And I watched this, I watched it like five or six times. Look at him there. And I'm like, okay. All right. Yeah, quads. Because, you know, a lot of these men, they work too much on their chest and then they have chicken legs.

Have you noticed that trend? Yeah, you see it. The prosphere, they're doing all of these. this chest and shoulder stuff, and then you see him in shorts, and it's like, toothpicks. We've got chicken legs going on. That guy, the UPS driver, Kylie, if you'll play him again, I want you to notice the quadriceps. He did not neglect his lower body, which I truly appreciate it. Look at those quads.

He is fully perfect. It's just a little snack, if I don't say so myself. I was like, I mean, he's just, and his beard is perfect. Exactly. Now, Ryan and Kylie, could you tell that this was AI immediately? Did they say yes? They said within a couple of seconds. Embarrassingly, this was a 30-minute journey for me.

I went, he's got to be gay. There's no way that a straight man is that liberated. There's no way that a straight American man is give a fuck meter is that broken, that he would just like, look, I'm hot, I'm a great dancer. And then I was like, well, maybe he's not American. He must be European. He's got to be European. Because I'm still holding out that he's straight.

I was like, he's probably gay. Only a gay man could have that kind of confidence, that kind of body, the beard, as you mentioned, groomed perfectly. And then it ended, he's AI. Okay, listener, especially you ladies, you know that bras are something we just have to wear. They're not negotiable. But I like bras that feel like I'm not wearing a bra. I'm so tired of going home from work, ripping my bra off, and just like, oh, I finally feel comfortable. I want that comfort all day long. That's why I'm thrilled to share with you my discovery of Honey Love. Honey Love makes the most amazing shapewear on the planet. I particularly am obsessed with their cloud embrace braw.

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And I bet he would love to listen to me grown on about stupid shit and me nonsensical. I bet he would think I was just, I could program to say, you're just the greatest thing in the whole world all the time. They do. That's how the chat bots are. They are completely obsequious, or as you call them chat boxes. What do you call them? Chat bot.

Oh, bought. Bought. Okay. Chat bot. Got it. Okay. The chat bot is in the chat box. So I can see how.

But I want to share also, so that was my grievance that I, embarrassingly, Jen X'd, it. It took me 30 minutes to realize that a guy that I had just lusted after was, in fact, not real at all. But it was fun. That was one of those things where I'm like, but then afterwards, I also. I also felt like, come on, let's put real people on the internet. But I want to share a real story, which is why I think we should all spend a lot of time offline. So this past Saturday, my friend Renee and I went, took my dogs to Washington Square Park. And everybody knows that my dogs don't particularly like dog parks because they don't like other dogs unless they're Frenchies. So we didn't go to the dog

part. We just sat on a bench in the shade and watched all of the magnificent New York unfold before our eyes. And all of a sudden, these two men appeared walking down the sidewalk in front of our bench. And I assumed that they were a couple. And each of them had a tray in their hand. And on the tray of one guy was a brown fluffy rabbit, bunny rabbit. And on the tray of the other guy was a white and gray fluffy rabbit, like white with gray spot. and like a white with brown spots.

And they had their rabbits on a tray, and they just walked into Washington Square Park. And I'm like, what's going on here? Like, I really wanted to play with the rabbits, but my dogs think that they're hunters. They have a zero percent catch and kill rate, FYI, to the squirrel, zero percent. But they still think they are incredible, like, badass hunters.

So they end up going into this little, like little mini-fenced-in area in Washington Square Park, and they took their rabbits off the tray, and the rabbits just roamed around freely. Oh, I love that. So it's a little play area for rabbits. So I finally, I'm like, Renee's like, go over there and talk to them. I'm like, if I get up and walk over there,

my dogs are going to have a stage five melt down because they're codependent, toxic, all of the things. You go. And so she goes over there and she talks to them, and they just, every weekend, they bring their rabbits to Washington Square Park, and they just put them down and they run around. and they were like, everybody's taking pictures with them, and they get to go run around freely.

And then the little tray, like, there's no crate or anything. And they've just trained these rabbits to sit on the tray. And they carry them like a waiter. And then... That's very impressive. We watched them for like 45 minutes. Renee got to go. She got all the pictures and everything of them.

But they were so great. And I'm like, you can actually, if you have public parks, you can get off internet and just go sit on a bench and watch the real life. reels and TikToks take place in front of you. And not the fake hot UPS driver man that I fell in love with that I'm going to pumps up with. Yeah, that's going to be my dear friend.

Matchmaker. Don't have to pay you? Don't patchmakers make a ton of money now? Obviously, yeah. He's very expensive, the UPS man. I found him so there was a finder's fee. You know what I love is, so let's say you have a different animal. Let's say you have like a gerbil or something that you have.

want to let out play. So it's just this little area that you can just let any kind of, it's, why are you laughing? Just the gerbil lore in general, letting a gerbil out to play. I just kind of cracked me up. The gerbil to play in your chat box. It's, but that's cool that there's a little area for other animals. I love that. I too love a rabbit. Oh my God, they were so cute. They were fluffy and they were so well-behaved and they just hopped around and looked at everybody. And they kind of, if they stayed close to their owners and then the three of them would kind of stay together. And Renee got the, all the deep. I was like, I need to know, please go over there. Ask them what the deal is. And she asked them, like, if you ever lost one? And one of the guys goes,

yeah, one time he called me. He's like, I can't find whatever the rabbit's name was. So I had to come over and then we found it. They found the rabbit. But they were so well-behaved. and so civilized, and they just wrote on their little trays. It was just, it was such a cool thing. Like, it's something that we are spending a lot of time looking for stuff like that on Instagram or TikTok to see something cool like that. And if you just put your fucking phone down and go sit in a park, these third spaces that sociologists and psychiatrists say boost your happy factor. If you live in a place that has a third space where you, you know, you have work and home. And then a lot of cities don't have a shared third space in New York.

has a bunch of them. And so I've been really, now that it's not so hot, really just going and sitting in parks. My dogs are much happier now that we don't go sit in the dog park. They're much happier sitting in the human park because they're such insufferable twas. And they sit there with me. And then these dogs walk by, dogs walk by, they ignore, ignore, ignore, and then a Frenchie comes by. And then they're like, and then that Frenchie's like to them. And then they're, it's unbelievable, these dogs of mine. Anyway, welcome. Welcome to. I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Kylie. Hi. Hi. Hi. Um, I got two reviews for you. This one is five stars titled Supernatural. And Torne Prince writes, love, love, love your show. Proud Gay Triots over here. Jen pumps, Kylie, y'all are fabulous. We crush on Josh and Ryan, too. Don't worry, boys. What I don't understand is that when I watch Trump or really anyone in a circle speak or see the things they're doing, the corruption, the lies, the insanity, it's all obvious. How has his supporters in government and news seem completely oblivious to it is beyond me. My father is one of the

most intelligent men I know, and he's full MAGA. Though I've been slowly adjusting his YouTube algorithm, better stuff including I hit. We have a theory. It has to be supernatural. Witchcraft, something. Maybe some super coven of Etsy witches casting crazy spells to hide it all. Deal with the devil or whatever soul bargaining entity may be out there. It's just unreal. And I have a hard time accepting that anyone can see the same things I see and go, yeah, that sounds above board. I just can't. Anyways, love y'all. Keep it up. Yeah, that's always the, that's always the mystery is how people can see like this person commits a crime or lies. And they're like, well, that's a liar. That's a criminal. What the fuck? And then when it gets to Donald Trump, it's just they're completely

crawled up his ass and parked. And it's just, it's really devastating how much damage this man has done to the country. But then if you shrink it down to a local level, the families, the friendships, the, because for me, like, it's just a deal breaker. If somebody is a supporter of Trump right now, I want nothing, nothing, nothing to do with you. You're not my person. Like, It's not like you're a supporter of Mitt Romney. You are supporting racism. You're supporting putting kids in concentration camps. You're supporting the indiscriminate murder of peaceful protesters or peace.

They weren't even processing. Peaceful observers with Renee Good and Alex Prattie. And I just, it's just a red line for me. Like life is too short. I get to pick whom I want to spend my spare time with. But, I mean, truth be told, spoiler alert, I've never really had that many Republican friends long before Trump. If I'm really being honest here, I've always been pretty intolerant of Republicans. I have, because in Oklahoma, I just saw how homophobic.

Well, no, in Oklahoma, I saw how they would go frequent their hairdresser or go to a friend with this friend named Kent. and he was this eccentric gay realtor. He's deceased now. But he would always throw these incredible Christmas parties. And like any gay man would, it was just phenomenal. He put up this huge tent. He had dancers. It was just a rager of a party.

And I'd see all these people that would go to his event because they wanted to see and be seen. And then they would go vote for George W. Bish's policies, which was explicitly homophobia, explicitly against gay marriage. And so, honestly, I've always been this big of a bitch about this stuff. It's not new. Well, I don't think it's being bitchy. But when I read that, the first thing that put, when Kylie was reading it, the first thing it popped up in my mind was growing up my mother was, you cannot have sex before marriage. Sex is a sin.

There was so much sexual shame. Having sex outside. Just all. And just you can imagine. And then she defended Donald Trump fucking a porn star with a brand newborn baby. and while his wife was pregnant, having an affair with a playboy playmate, she made excuses for that. And to this day, I don't understand it other than it's everything we've talked about, ad nauseum, it's taxes, it's racism. It's, in my opinion, a lot of it comes from, I'm better than you.

I get to judge other people and because of the religious shit. but it still confounds me every day because that was such a snapshot growing up in my life about sex. It's like brainwashing to say you can't have sex before marriage. It's like at that age what you're doing is teaching people, this is your body. If somebody tries to touch you, you say no. You don't talk about sex. It's a really weird component in that Southern Baptist evangelical world where my opinion, and you see it with Moses, Mike Grindr Johnson,

marrying his daughter at the purity ball to keep her virginity safe until he gives it to her husband, which is the weirdest shit on the planet. In a way, it's kind of sexualizing children in a really perverse, exploitative way. I don't think it's appropriate to start talking to children about sex. And then these are the same people that are all jacked up on drag queen,

and trans people sexualizing kids. And to date, I've been to a lot of drag shows. I've never seen an agenda where drag queens were wanting to sexualize children. But to the contrary, from anecdotally your story pumps to anecdotally, all of my friends growing up, who had a very similar upbringing to yours, my peers in like elementary school. I never heard, like in my house, like, don't have sex before. I heard it from a peer in like third or fourth grade. And I had to go home and ask my mother, why can't people have sex before marriage?

My mother, the age, just like, oh, God, Jennifer, for God's sake, that's ridiculous. You know, this is something people do. My mother would always call it do it. She says, well, sometimes people want to do it before marriage, and it's not that big of a deal. Remember in the 80s, it was like, are you going to do it? Did you do it? Yeah. Yeah.

And so it was just a, but I think it's a real. really interesting. I don't know. We should talk to a psychologist or something about it. But they're the ones that are talking to kids about sex. And like famously, Sarah Palin, if we go back to the George W. Bush era, she was all about abstinence only, abstinence only. She has all these kids named like Trigg and Leaf and Branch and Trunk and all these weird, weird ass fucking names, right, for her kids. She's got like, you know, nine of them. And then all of the kids, guess what? Knocked up before marriage.

And so it's just, it's so crazy. All of the sexual shame, the pure, see, this is what happened when our ancestors came over here and colonized the United States. We got the crazy Christians. We got the Pyridans. All the cool people stayed in Europe. And we're still dealing with these crazy Christians to this day and the Pyridans. All the modesty and all that.

I remember the first time I went to Europe and I saw like titties on a beach. I was like, oh my God, but they're just, they don't care. Yeah. Over here, everything's so taboo that, remember, I remember we did an episode a long time ago that some teacher in Florida got fired or put on probation because she showed a picture of Michelangelo's David. Yeah. Which, I mean, if you're going to fire some, that's the smallest penis I've ever seen in my life.

It's a beautiful statue. But I was so disappointed at the penis size when I got there to Florence. Yeah, totally. It's so funny because we were on a boat in, on vacation. where the man and the woman were both naked. And we were all just like, oh, my gosh. I mean, we were just like looking at. I mean, they were old and like grandparents, you know.

But I was just like, good for fucking them. There's no way I would prance around this boat with the sagging dragons out for the world. But they didn't care. And I was like, it might go back to the modesty thing. I mean, I'm immodest now, but I was raised in a very, you know, cover yourself. all that shit. But yeah, I would just, so I was kind of like, God, I don't think I ever could do that. I don't think I could prance around on a boat butt-necked for all the world to see. And I wish I could, because there was just zero shame in it. But I think you could. You think I could? Yes, you're the

most immodest person I know. No, I know, but just like other, like you've answered your door knowing that I remember the first time. No, but Betsy, whom you had never met before. I said, hey, I want to introduce you to my friend, Betsy. She's my neighbor. You're going to love her. I just met her. She moved in three doors down. I want to introduce her to her.

She's awesome. She's awesome. She's, okay, y'all come over. So Betsy and I go over to Pumps's house and I ring the front doorbell. She doesn't answer. I said, okay, we'll walk around back. And she has these two sliding glass doors around back. We walk around back.

And Pumps comes parading to the door with me standing there. And then Betsy, whom she's never met before, brushing her, teeth, unlocks the door, slides the door open, and goes, y'all come on in. I'm just still getting ready. And then walks, walks back. I mean, the dragons are flopping. Her ass is flopping. My friend Betsy just bends over, dying, laughing. And she's like, is she for real right now? I was like, yeah, her give effect meter is completely broken. So I do think you, I do think it wouldn't take much for you to be naked on the boat. Well, maybe I would. But I just, I admire people that are that free because I don't have that free yet.

is why I admire you because you answer your front door naked. It was my back door. I'm sorry, you answer your back door naked when you know that you do not know the person. You have this. You have this. What you admire, you have. So admire yourself. I don't know about that. You do. Just going back to, there was so much sexual, like you're talking about, like I didn't know it at the time, but so much sexual shame in that. Like, you know, you. even talking about it, so it becomes dirty and naughty. So then you want to do it on the down low. Well, I mean, that was my experience.

We know that I did not walk down the aisle deserving of white. You don't say. Yeah. Just had a little problem. And then after you do it, then there's a shame cycle, right? Oh, my God. Yes. What about the Born Again virgins?

My favorite. It's my favorite. I mean, I think it's so great where they have done it. They've tasted it. They've done it. They've done it on top. They've 69. They've done every way you can do it.

And then it feels so good. You know, these teenagers are 18, 19-year-olds like, this is incredible. And it should be. There should be no shame in it. And then it's like, this is wrong. I think I think I'm going to be a born-again virgin. I'm going to get my virginity back to God. Pray it back. Pray it back. I'm going to pray back my virgin. The born-again virgin is my favorite.

I love it. But, you know, I kind of love blasphemy and all that stuff, too. So, okay, I want to play a clip that I think Pumps and I will have a lot to say about. This is Michelle Obama on her podcast, and she's opening up about empty nesting. And Pumps has been an empty nester for two years and myself for one. So we both recently very much experienced this. So let's, play the first part of the clip. The energy and excitement of the kids being around is so incredible. I don't. I love them. I'm going to see them tonight for dinner. I love them. Yeah.

But, you know, Barack cried when they went to college. I was like, bye, little. Goodbye. Now Friday nights aren't wrecked with terror and fear about where are you? Where are you? Right. No, I get that. I love their emancipation.

growth. The thing I miss, though, is the job. And I think she goes on. She's like, I don't miss it. I don't. And I thought that was so healthy. And I think that is such an important, so there's so much guilt in being a mother. And there's all of the stuff that's projected on to you that you couldn't say something like that. And the reason that Michelle Obama can say that is because she's been an incredible mother. She is advocated for her kids every step of the way with her vote and with her lifestyle and her example. And she and her husband, Barack Obama, have led her girls, shown this is the way a man's supposed to treat a woman. They've done poured into those kids. And just because your kids move out, you don't end on being a mother, but that daily taxing nonstop,

And I think this was such a healthy thing for her to say and to normalize. Because in Oklahoma in particular, there is this mindset, and this is my experience where we're like, I'm just so depressed. My kids left. I'm just so depressed. And it's like this contagion. And you feel like, I remember thinking, like, I don't want to be depressed when my kids leave. I'm going to move to New York.

Like, why does this have to, why are we acting like this is a fucking food over? They're still my kids. They still like. And I love that she said, I'm enjoying their emancipation. I totally agree with that. I have so enjoyed watching my kids go out and pick up from the world the things they couldn't pick up from me because they were dismissive of me and of Josh. And so I love that she's done this.

Well, we know that I mean, I've been the happiest I've ever been since my kids moved out. I did not cry. I was like, I love you, goodbye. I used to dread when they would come home for the summer. Now, this summer was good because, you know, this summer was a lot better. But I have loved my kids moving out. I have been the happiest. Everybody that says, oh, my gosh, I'm an empty nest.

I'm like, you're going to fucking love it. It's going to be like a new world. And I love my kids. I love being with my kids. I don't want to be a full-time mother to adults. I did my mothering. I've done it. I enjoy them.

I love them. All the things. They know I love them. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Caviote, you know, blah, blah. The reality is I love that my kids are out of the house. I enjoy them more. We were on vacation.

And I saw people with little kids. And I turned to them and I said, I am so fucking happy. You all are adults. I like you so much more as adults. It was a lot of fucking work when you were little. And now we're having fun. So I am team Michelle on my. that. Nobody's been happier about the emptiness than me.

I completely agree with you. And right on cue, Maga has had a meltdown about Michelle saying this. Let's play the clip. He's not missing the experience of actively mothering her children, which comes as really not that big a surprise. If you listen to Michelle Obama over the years, she has, I mean, almost uniformly negative comments to make about being a mother and being a wife. She did not enjoy it in any way, shape, or form. Okay, so she's just lying right there. There is no Michelle Obama that I watched. She very much enjoyed being a wife.

But at the same time, she was a very realistic first lady, and she's a very realistic podcaster, where she would say, this is hard. I did not want Barack to be president. I didn't want this life, but I'm in it now. And Michelle Obama is a Ivy League educated. lawyer and an incredibly successful person. And look no further to the fact that their children didn't grift off the executive branch the way the Trump grifting, parasitic pieces of shit little kids,

even barren now is grifting. He's worth $150 million. Sasha Malia worth nowhere near that. But let me just say this. What is Maga more mad about? First, you're mad because these kids are going home and living with their parents. Look at these fucking losers that are still living at home in the basement. Okay. And then then here's Michelle in the most healthy, imaginable way. I love my kids. I'm going to have dinner with them tonight.

I'm enjoying their emancipation. I'm mothered. I did it. That job is done. I'm not going to wallow in it. I enjoy being an empty nester. She says something incredibly healthy. And then they're mad at that.

So that shows you, listener, that no matter what a liberal says, their whole ethos is owning the lips. If Michelle said, I miss my kids, I just wish Malia and Sasha were back. And we had Bowen, Sunny, the dogs. And we were all just spooning and rocking each other and braiding each other's hair all night long. It'd just be the greatest thing on the planet. Megan Kelly would wake up and turn on her microphone and go, look at how codependent and toxic Michelle Obama is. It wouldn't matter what Michelle Obama said there, but I'll tell you, I've had enough therapy in my life, listener, to know that what Michelle Obama is saying there is the goal, is the end goal of therapy, acceptance, not being enmeshed with your children,

letting them go if you love somebody, set them free. And then her accepting, I did my job. I raised good human beings. And in a very difficult circumstances, you know, those girls were raised, you know, in the global stage. and I love that Michelle Obama did this, and I just think Maga needs to pick Elaine. Are you mad about what you call deadbeat kids that can't afford in Trump's economy to go get an apartment on their own living with their parents? Are you mad that Michelle Obama raised two kids and they are completely emancipated?

And she celebrates and gives herself out of girl. Way to go. I don't want to go back. I did it. Been there down that new phase of my life. Well, and here's the deal. I mean, Megan Kelly, why? why do you care? Let's say that Megan Kelly wants to mother-hover her kids and be all over

them and do all that. I don't care what she does with her. Why does everybody have to be in everybody's business? Now, I agree with everything you said, but at the fundamentally at the end of the day, if my next-door neighbor wants to have their kid live with them until they're 30 and spoon-feed them and all that, it's really, I don't give a fuck. I don't care. I know, but I mean, in her defense, and I hate to defend Megan Kelly. Michelle Obama's a public. figure. I know, but it's just, we meddle and shit that's not our business because we have the same job as Megan Kelly.

We're talking about, you know, I mean, just listen, you're right. That's all of this is fair game. I just, I agree with you. If we weren't podcasters and Megan Kelly weren't podcasters and Michelle Obama wasn't a former first lady, mind your own fucking business. But because of who Megan Kelly is and because of who Michelle Obama is, let's just be real here. if Donald Trump all of a sudden said, I wish my kids were back at home and Melani and I could raise them again, we would jump on that and criticize it big time. So I don't want to be so precious that we wouldn't do the same thing if the role is reversed because we absolutely fucking would.

Guilty. A hundred percent. Guilty as charged. Here's the thing. If I ever, you know how just, I'm glad you brought that up. Has anybody ever heard Donald Trump gush about how much he loves his kids and how being a dad is so important? He doesn't even give a fuck. I've never seen that clip.

I've never. Because of this job, I've had to watch a lot of footage of Donald Trump. I've never seen that clip. The number one clips I've seen is sleeping, him sleeping, taxpayer funded naps. And then I've seen a lot of clips where he talks about insane asylums that then with his, you know, a flight of ideas, it goes to Hannibal Lecter. and then he starts talking about windmills, and then he started talking about magnets on cars, and then magnets on boats.

I've heard a lot of that. I've heard a lot of him bragging about himself and his accomplishments. I don't think I've heard much about the kids. Now, actually, I take that back. I have heard a lot of clips of him sexually abusing, sexually harassing his daughter, Ivanka, and talking about how much he would like to have sex with his daughter

if they weren't father-daughter, which is interesting considering all of the evangelical pro-family, pro-children party, or all for that. But then I realize, oh, I get it. They're fine with pedophilia because the guy they voted for talks like this about his very own daughter. Right. Yeah. It happens. Not saying exclusively in big megachurches, but it happens. And a lot of them. Okay. New story. A 76-year-old Florida woman was surprised when she received a package in the mail from the DMV. Let's play the clip. Nancy Delostredo went to collect her mail.

She got quite the surprise, a new license plate with her vehicle registration renewal. And I looked at it and I said, I don't think so. The plate reads SQZ A55, but from a distance, those five-fives can be read as S's. Well, you get the picture. Squeeze blank. I don't think a woman that lives in a senior community that's going to be 77 years old next month will be driving around with what this plate has to say. The plates become the talk around her retirement community, especially the men. We were with her when she showed it to one of her 89-year-old neighbors.

And this is why I received from the DMB for my new license plate. That's good for 10 years. Good. Good. I'm with him. I like it. Squeeze ass. I like it.

I like the plate. I really do. I like it for Nancy. I'd go door to door and show everyone in my retirement community. They must have thought I was a hot piece of ass because they told me to squeeze ass. Okay, I'm so glad this came up. I have to tell you this story. This is me in the future.

So I go to my vape store, as you can tell I can barely breathe, so I've had to go to the vape store. This woman, she walks in with her little cane, older. She has her senior living, like, wherever she lives and her name on it. And she goes in, and she gets like $230 worth of vapes. And she waddles out there. She gets in her car with all her vapes with her little name tag to head back to her retirement living center. And I just thought, that is my future. I'm going to be sitting here with my name tag for my retirement community. going in and buying my vapes. Like, this is me.

This is fast forward. This is my life. And you think I would have taken a look at it, but I didn't. I just thought, you go, girl. Yeah, I mean, she probably was a smoker. This is a better thing for her. But I love the name bash. But after conversations with friends and family, Nancy has decided to keep the plate.

Let's play the clip. I'm kind of resigning to it. and I figured maybe it was just destined to be on my car. So for now, Nancy's keeping the tag, although she is planning to let the state know about it. She'll see the reaction when she goes public with her new plate. I can handle it if I get a few honks here and there. Actually, being over 70, I might like a few honks.

I like the evolution of Nancy. I do. I like how at first she was like, I'm a 77-year-old woman. and I don't want people thinking I'm a little, you know, a little slut, a little bimbo. Then once her ass squeeze. And then she goes and talks to the, like he's kind of attractive for 89, the neighbor. She goes and talks to the neighbor. I thought he looked pretty good.

And he's like, good. And then Nancy was like, hmm. And then Nancy has a full circle moment where she's like, you know what? Maybe I do want to get honked at. Maybe I do want people squeezing my ass. I like the evolution of this story of Nancy. I do too. I'm glad that she's keeping.

the license tag. I like it. I think she'll be the hit of the retirement community. Yeah, I do too. I thought that came across my feed and I thought, you know, I really, I really like this story. All right. Well, that's all we have for today's episode. Please pre-order my book. It's called Not Today Fascist. It's linked right below in the show notes. Subscribe to our channel. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow everybody on social media. Be a good listener. Do all the stuff you're supposed to do. you all later.